My credit scorecard on my discover app says I have too few accounts open and I want to fix that. Discover won't increase my limit because I had a $700 collection in late 2020 from my school that I didn't know about. I paid it off immediately when I found out about it. That and too few accounts open shows it's the only things impacting my score.
CREDIT PROFILE

• * Current credit cards you are the primary account holder of: Discover It, $1,000 limit, opened 09/2020
• * FICO Scores with source (see note on FICO score sources below): 648 Fico from Transunion
• * Oldest credit card account age with you as primary name on the account: 3 years
• * Number of personal credit cards approved for in the past 6 months: 0
• * Number of personal credit cards approved for in the past 12 months: 0
• * Number of personal credit cards approved for in the past 24 months: 0
• * Annual income $: $56,000

CATEGORIES

• * OK with category-specific cards?: Yes
• * OK with rotating category cards?: Yes
• * Estimate average monthly spend in the categories below. Only include what you can pay by credit card.
  • * Dining $: 100
  • * Groceries $: 200
  • * Gas $: $150
  • * Do you plan on using this card abroad for a significant length of time (study abroad, digital nomad, expat, extended travel)?: No
  • * Any other categories (examples: phone/internet, insurance) or stores (example: Amazon) with significant, regular credit card spend (the more you specify, the better): $200
  • * Any other significant, regular credit card spend you didn't include above?: $

MEMBERSHIPS & SUBSCRIPTIONS (delete lines that don't apply)

• * Current member of Amazon Prime?: Yes
• * Are you open to Business Cards?: No

PURPOSE

• * What's the purpose of your next card (choose ONE)?: General spending, more open accounts, more history
• * Do you have any cards you've been looking at? No

Greetings Everyone!
Our community is a friendly and helpful atmosphere you can sit back and relax with. Our goal is to provide a community driven gaming experience tailored via direct feedback from all of you :). So come on over and play with us. We'd love to have you!
Join our Discord Server for all server rules, info, announcements and shenanigans https://discord.gg/R6ARSssfhp

Ark 1 Steam Server Features:

• OVERFLOW Protection w/automatic element & tribute transfers + up-loadable inventory!
• ITEM Backup System so us admins can easily fix you getting "arked"
• SERVER Side Stacks ( No stack mod needed! )
• CROSSARK Chat ( Chat with folks across all maps at once! )
• IN-GAME SHOP ( Get Items, skins, consumables, etc with points or web store )
• UNLIMITED mind wipes
• REUSABLE Items
• ​DINOTRACKING in multiple forms ( Lost a tame? No problem, gotcha covered :) )
• BUILDING Mods for your creative endeavors
• DONATOR Perks (Body retrieval, dino coloring, and more! )
• TAMING Helper items for those who want faster tames
• CROSS CLUSTER AUCTION House and in-game currency
• QUESTS in both daily and weekly forms
• VOTER Rewards ( Vote and get points to spend )

​
Ark 1 Steam Cluster Wide Mod List (Including Mod Maps) https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2050946276
Omega Mod List https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2802881947

Ark 1 Server Settings:

• Max Tribe Members = 10
• Max Alliances = 12
• Max Tribes in Alliance = 10
• Tribal Warfare = Enabled, Cancel Allowed
• Player Multipliers: XP = 1, Stam = 1.25, Oxygen 1.25, Food = 1.2
• (Custom harvest table is 3x for most resources, 1.25x for plant based resources)
• Max Dino Level = 300
• Wild Dino DMG/RES = 1.35
• Tamed Dino Food Drain Multiplier = .5
• Taming Speed Multiplier = 5
• Tamed Health = .2
• Tamed Stamina = 2
• Tamed Oxygen = 1
• Tamed Food = 1
• Tamed Temperature = 1
• Tamed Weight = 4
• Tamed Damage = .17
• Tamed Speed = 1
• Tamed Crafting = 1

These breeding rates only apply in N+ Hatchery, Incubator, Propagator and DS Soul traps to encourage dinos to be kept OUT OF WORLD....nobody likes framerate dropping messes. * Mating Interval = 10 * Mating Speed = 2 * Egg Hatch Speed = 10

* Baby Mature Speed = 10

• Baby Food Consumption = .5
• Imprinting Stat Scale = 2
• Cuddle Interval = .2
• Cuddle Grace Period = 1
• Cuddle Lose imprint Quality Speed = 1Lay Egg Interval = .7

Ark 1 PvE:

https://ark-servers.net/group/1009/
[https://www.battlemetrics.com/servers/ark?q=FireFly&sort=score&features%5B2e079b9a-d6f7-11e7-8461-83e84cedb373%5D=false]](https://www.battlemetrics.com/servers/ark?q=FireFly&sort=score&features%5B2e079b9a-d6f7-11e7-8461-83e84cedb373%5D=false)
​

🧬 Abberation	fireflygaming.servegame.org:20495
💎 Crystal Isles	fireflygaming.servegame.org:20485
🌎 Extinction	fireflygaming.servegame.org:20515
🐲 Fjördur	fireflygaming.servegame.org:20585
🚀 Genesis Ship	fireflygaming.servegame.org:20635
🖥 Genesis Sim (Needs Valguero DLC)	fireflygaming.servegame.org:20555
🐾 Ragnarok	fireflygaming.servegame.org:20535
🌵 Scorched Earth	fireflygaming.servegame.org:20505
🏞 The Center	fireflygaming.servegame.org:20525
🌴 The Island	fireflygaming.servegame.org:20475
🐑 Valguero	fireflygaming.servegame.org:20545
🗺 Lost Island	fireflygaming.servegame.org:20615
🐴 Caballus	fireflygaming.servegame.org:20645

Ark 1 Omega:

​

👹 Fjordur	fireflygaming.servegame.org:20575

UE5 Vault Server - See Discord for more information:

​

🌴 The Island	fireflygaming.servegame.org:20475

Server Hardware (Self Hosted)

AMD Threadripper 3970x 32 Core Cpu 1TB NVME OS 1TB NVME SwapDrive 1TB NVME SQL 2TB ASM Backup Raid Array 12GB/s SAS Raid Array for Servers 256GB ECC 3200 DDR4 RAM Backups to NAS and Cloud Services Internet Bandwidth 1Gbps/1Gbps Fiber

Greetings Everyone!
Our community is a friendly and helpful atmosphere you can sit back and relax with. Our goal is to provide a community driven gaming experience tailored via direct feedback from all of you :). So come on over and play with us. We'd love to have you!
Join our Discord Server for all server rules, info, announcements and shenanigans https://discord.gg/R6ARSssfhp

Ark 1 Steam Server Features:

• OVERFLOW Protection w/automatic element & tribute transfers + up-loadable inventory!
• ITEM Backup System so us admins can easily fix you getting "arked"
• SERVER Side Stacks ( No stack mod needed! )
• CROSSARK Chat ( Chat with folks across all maps at once! )
• IN-GAME SHOP ( Get Items, skins, consumables, etc with points or web store )
• UNLIMITED mind wipes
• REUSABLE Items
• ​DINOTRACKING in multiple forms ( Lost a tame? No problem, gotcha covered :) )
• BUILDING Mods for your creative endeavors
• DONATOR Perks (Body retrieval, dino coloring, and more! )
• TAMING Helper items for those who want faster tames
• CROSS CLUSTER AUCTION House and in-game currency
• QUESTS in both daily and weekly forms
• VOTER Rewards ( Vote and get points to spend )

​
Ark 1 Steam Cluster Wide Mod List (Including Mod Maps) https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2050946276
Omega Mod List https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2802881947

Ark 1 Server Settings:

• Max Tribe Members = 10
• Max Alliances = 12
• Max Tribes in Alliance = 10
• Tribal Warfare = Enabled, Cancel Allowed
• Player Multipliers: XP = 1, Stam = 1.25, Oxygen 1.25, Food = 1.2
• (Custom harvest table is 3x for most resources, 1.25x for plant based resources)
• Max Dino Level = 300
• Wild Dino DMG/RES = 1.35
• Tamed Dino Food Drain Multiplier = .5
• Taming Speed Multiplier = 5
• Tamed Health = .2
• Tamed Stamina = 2
• Tamed Oxygen = 1
• Tamed Food = 1
• Tamed Temperature = 1
• Tamed Weight = 4
• Tamed Damage = .17
• Tamed Speed = 1
• Tamed Crafting = 1

These breeding rates only apply in N+ Hatchery, Incubator, Propagator and DS Soul traps to encourage dinos to be kept OUT OF WORLD....nobody likes framerate dropping messes. * Mating Interval = 10 * Mating Speed = 2 * Egg Hatch Speed = 10

* Baby Mature Speed = 10

• Baby Food Consumption = .5
• Imprinting Stat Scale = 2
• Cuddle Interval = .2
• Cuddle Grace Period = 1
• Cuddle Lose imprint Quality Speed = 1Lay Egg Interval = .7

Ark 1 PvE:

https://ark-servers.net/group/1009/
[https://www.battlemetrics.com/servers/ark?q=FireFly&sort=score&features%5B2e079b9a-d6f7-11e7-8461-83e84cedb373%5D=false]](https://www.battlemetrics.com/servers/ark?q=FireFly&sort=score&features%5B2e079b9a-d6f7-11e7-8461-83e84cedb373%5D=false)
​

🧬 Abberation	fireflygaming.servegame.org:20495
💎 Crystal Isles	fireflygaming.servegame.org:20485
🌎 Extinction	fireflygaming.servegame.org:20515
🐲 Fjördur	fireflygaming.servegame.org:20585
🚀 Genesis Ship	fireflygaming.servegame.org:20635
🖥 Genesis Sim (Needs Valguero DLC)	fireflygaming.servegame.org:20555
🐾 Ragnarok	fireflygaming.servegame.org:20535
🌵 Scorched Earth	fireflygaming.servegame.org:20505
🏞 The Center	fireflygaming.servegame.org:20525
🌴 The Island	fireflygaming.servegame.org:20475
🐑 Valguero	fireflygaming.servegame.org:20545
🗺 Lost Island	fireflygaming.servegame.org:20615
🐴 Caballus	fireflygaming.servegame.org:20645

Ark 1 Omega:

​

👹 Fjordur	fireflygaming.servegame.org:20575

UE5 Vault Server - See Discord for more information:

​

🌴 The Island	fireflygaming.servegame.org:20475

Server Hardware (Self Hosted)

AMD Threadripper 3970x 32 Core Cpu 1TB NVME OS 1TB NVME SwapDrive 1TB NVME SQL 2TB ASM Backup Raid Array 12GB/s SAS Raid Array for Servers 256GB ECC 3200 DDR4 RAM Backups to NAS and Cloud Services Internet Bandwidth 1Gbps/1Gbps Fiber

Greetings Everyone!
Our community is a friendly and helpful atmosphere you can sit back and relax with. Our goal is to provide a community driven gaming experience tailored via direct feedback from all of you :). So come on over and play with us. We'd love to have you!
Join our Discord Server for all server rules, info, announcements and shenanigans https://discord.gg/R6ARSssfhp

Ark 1 Steam Server Features:

• OVERFLOW Protection w/automatic element & tribute transfers + up-loadable inventory!
• ITEM Backup System so us admins can easily fix you getting "arked"
• SERVER Side Stacks ( No stack mod needed! )
• CROSSARK Chat ( Chat with folks across all maps at once! )
• IN-GAME SHOP ( Get Items, skins, consumables, etc with points or web store )
• UNLIMITED mind wipes
• REUSABLE Items
• ​DINOTRACKING in multiple forms ( Lost a tame? No problem, gotcha covered :) )
• BUILDING Mods for your creative endeavors
• DONATOR Perks (Body retrieval, dino coloring, and more! )
• TAMING Helper items for those who want faster tames
• CROSS CLUSTER AUCTION House and in-game currency
• QUESTS in both daily and weekly forms
• VOTER Rewards ( Vote and get points to spend )

​
Ark 1 Steam Cluster Wide Mod List (Including Mod Maps) https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2050946276
Omega Mod List https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2802881947

Ark 1 Server Settings:

• Max Tribe Members = 10
• Max Alliances = 12
• Max Tribes in Alliance = 10
• Tribal Warfare = Enabled, Cancel Allowed
• Player Multipliers: XP = 1, Stam = 1.25, Oxygen 1.25, Food = 1.2
• (Custom harvest table is 3x for most resources, 1.25x for plant based resources)
• Max Dino Level = 300
• Wild Dino DMG/RES = 1.35
• Tamed Dino Food Drain Multiplier = .5
• Taming Speed Multiplier = 5
• Tamed Health = .2
• Tamed Stamina = 2
• Tamed Oxygen = 1
• Tamed Food = 1
• Tamed Temperature = 1
• Tamed Weight = 4
• Tamed Damage = .17
• Tamed Speed = 1
• Tamed Crafting = 1

These breeding rates only apply in N+ Hatchery, Incubator, Propagator and DS Soul traps to encourage dinos to be kept OUT OF WORLD....nobody likes framerate dropping messes. * Mating Interval = 10 * Mating Speed = 2 * Egg Hatch Speed = 10

* Baby Mature Speed = 10

• Baby Food Consumption = .5
• Imprinting Stat Scale = 2
• Cuddle Interval = .2
• Cuddle Grace Period = 1
• Cuddle Lose imprint Quality Speed = 1Lay Egg Interval = .7

Ark 1 PvE:

https://ark-servers.net/group/1009/
[https://www.battlemetrics.com/servers/ark?q=FireFly&sort=score&features%5B2e079b9a-d6f7-11e7-8461-83e84cedb373%5D=false]](https://www.battlemetrics.com/servers/ark?q=FireFly&sort=score&features%5B2e079b9a-d6f7-11e7-8461-83e84cedb373%5D=false)
​

🧬 Abberation	fireflygaming.servegame.org:20495
💎 Crystal Isles	fireflygaming.servegame.org:20485
🌎 Extinction	fireflygaming.servegame.org:20515
🐲 Fjördur	fireflygaming.servegame.org:20585
🚀 Genesis Ship	fireflygaming.servegame.org:20635
🖥 Genesis Sim (Needs Valguero DLC)	fireflygaming.servegame.org:20555
🐾 Ragnarok	fireflygaming.servegame.org:20535
🌵 Scorched Earth	fireflygaming.servegame.org:20505
🏞 The Center	fireflygaming.servegame.org:20525
🌴 The Island	fireflygaming.servegame.org:20475
🐑 Valguero	fireflygaming.servegame.org:20545
🗺 Lost Island	fireflygaming.servegame.org:20615
🐴 Caballus	fireflygaming.servegame.org:20645

Ark 1 Omega:

​

👹 Fjordur	fireflygaming.servegame.org:20575

UE5 Vault Server - See Discord for more information:

​

🌴 The Island	fireflygaming.servegame.org:20475

Server Hardware (Self Hosted)

AMD Threadripper 3970x 32 Core Cpu 1TB NVME OS 1TB NVME SwapDrive 1TB NVME SQL 2TB ASM Backup Raid Array 12GB/s SAS Raid Array for Servers 256GB ECC 3200 DDR4 RAM Backups to NAS and Cloud Services Internet Bandwidth 1Gbps/1Gbps Fiber

Greetings Everyone!
Our community is a friendly and helpful atmosphere you can sit back and relax with. Our goal is to provide a community driven gaming experience tailored via direct feedback from all of you :). So come on over and play with us. We'd love to have you!
Join our Discord Server for all server rules, info, announcements and shenanigans https://discord.gg/R6ARSssfhp

Ark 1 Steam Server Features:

• OVERFLOW Protection w/automatic element & tribute transfers + up-loadable inventory!
• ITEM Backup System so us admins can easily fix you getting "arked"
• SERVER Side Stacks ( No stack mod needed! )
• CROSSARK Chat ( Chat with folks across all maps at once! )
• IN-GAME SHOP ( Get Items, skins, consumables, etc with points or web store )
• UNLIMITED mind wipes
• REUSABLE Items
• ​DINOTRACKING in multiple forms ( Lost a tame? No problem, gotcha covered :) )
• BUILDING Mods for your creative endeavors
• DONATOR Perks (Body retrieval, dino coloring, and more! )
• TAMING Helper items for those who want faster tames
• CROSS CLUSTER AUCTION House and in-game currency
• QUESTS in both daily and weekly forms
• VOTER Rewards ( Vote and get points to spend )

​
Ark 1 Steam Cluster Wide Mod List (Including Mod Maps) https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2050946276
Omega Mod List https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2802881947

Ark 1 Server Settings:

• Max Tribe Members = 10
• Max Alliances = 12
• Max Tribes in Alliance = 10
• Tribal Warfare = Enabled, Cancel Allowed
• Player Multipliers: XP = 1, Stam = 1.25, Oxygen 1.25, Food = 1.2
• (Custom harvest table is 3x for most resources, 1.25x for plant based resources)
• Max Dino Level = 300
• Wild Dino DMG/RES = 1.35
• Tamed Dino Food Drain Multiplier = .5
• Taming Speed Multiplier = 5
• Tamed Health = .2
• Tamed Stamina = 2
• Tamed Oxygen = 1
• Tamed Food = 1
• Tamed Temperature = 1
• Tamed Weight = 4
• Tamed Damage = .17
• Tamed Speed = 1
• Tamed Crafting = 1

These breeding rates only apply in N+ Hatchery, Incubator, Propagator and DS Soul traps to encourage dinos to be kept OUT OF WORLD....nobody likes framerate dropping messes. * Mating Interval = 10 * Mating Speed = 2 * Egg Hatch Speed = 10

* Baby Mature Speed = 10

• Baby Food Consumption = .5
• Imprinting Stat Scale = 2
• Cuddle Interval = .2
• Cuddle Grace Period = 1
• Cuddle Lose imprint Quality Speed = 1Lay Egg Interval = .7

Ark 1 PvE:

https://ark-servers.net/group/1009/
[https://www.battlemetrics.com/servers/ark?q=FireFly&sort=score&features%5B2e079b9a-d6f7-11e7-8461-83e84cedb373%5D=false]](https://www.battlemetrics.com/servers/ark?q=FireFly&sort=score&features%5B2e079b9a-d6f7-11e7-8461-83e84cedb373%5D=false)
​

🧬 Abberation	fireflygaming.servegame.org:20495
💎 Crystal Isles	fireflygaming.servegame.org:20485
🌎 Extinction	fireflygaming.servegame.org:20515
🐲 Fjördur	fireflygaming.servegame.org:20585
🚀 Genesis Ship	fireflygaming.servegame.org:20635
🖥 Genesis Sim (Needs Valguero DLC)	fireflygaming.servegame.org:20555
🐾 Ragnarok	fireflygaming.servegame.org:20535
🌵 Scorched Earth	fireflygaming.servegame.org:20505
🏞 The Center	fireflygaming.servegame.org:20525
🌴 The Island	fireflygaming.servegame.org:20475
🐑 Valguero	fireflygaming.servegame.org:20545
🗺 Lost Island	fireflygaming.servegame.org:20615
🐴 Caballus	fireflygaming.servegame.org:20645

Ark 1 Omega:

​

👹 Fjordur	fireflygaming.servegame.org:20575

UE5 Vault Server - See Discord for more information:

​

🌴 The Island	fireflygaming.servegame.org:20475

Server Hardware (Self Hosted)

AMD Threadripper 3970x 32 Core Cpu 1TB NVME OS 1TB NVME SwapDrive 1TB NVME SQL 2TB ASM Backup Raid Array 12GB/s SAS Raid Array for Servers 256GB ECC 3200 DDR4 RAM Backups to NAS and Cloud Services Internet Bandwidth 1Gbps/1Gbps Fiber

I just finished all 21 weeks of Stronger By Science - Reps in Reserve program.
After reading reviews of various programs and using the progress of others’ as motivation for myself, I figured I would submit my own report, now that I’ve made it all the way through the program.
I am a 36 year old dude. I am 69” tall. I work as a nurse anesthetist. Up until 3 weeks ago my wife and I were living in a fifth wheel traveling the country while I do contract anesthesia work. I’ve been in Knoxville, Tennessee for 10 months. I found an excellent gym here called Frankies Body Shop. It’s my favorite of any I have used while doing travel work…Calibrated Eleiko plates, Rogue and Texas Power bars, Deadlift bars, Squat bars, Competition racks, platforms…. It kicks ass.
A few weeks ago we moved out of the fifth wheel and into a furnished rental. If I can run 21 week fitness program while living in a fifth wheel, and cooking in an RV kitchen, you can too.
Stats:

• 36 year old male.
  
• 69” tall.
  
• Starting body weight: 252lb 1 and 2
  
• Ending body weight: 220lb *
  
• Ice-cream vs Protein
  
• Weight loss graph
  

Prior PR’s and Ending PR’s:
Deadlift: 405lb —> 507lb with change not visible from front
Squat: 365 —> 445lb & again, change plates not visible from front
Bench Press: 250lb —> 280lb
Background:
I have existed in various stages of fitness and fatness for most of my life. I have always had a stocky build, and have been a generally “strong” person while untrained and in comparison to other untrained people. I grew up playing competitive sports, and was first introduced to weight training in my early teens by some of my coaches. However, I have not maintained regular, structured, weight training in my adult life.
At around age 26 I was in the worst shape of my life and I stumbled into a Crossfit gym near my house. I think I weighed around 254lbs. In getting started at the gym I was reintroduced to weight training, albeit entirely different than most of the barbell movements I had done before. I stuck with Crossfit for about 3 years, going 5x/week. I shed a ton of weight, reaching a lowest weight of 211 lbs. During this time I never took nutrition as seriously as I should have. I was all about restricting calories, without thought to how much protein I was or wasn’t getting. Due to poor technique, poor recovery and a “just get it off the ground” mindset, I became chronically injured. At first it was small nagging injuries. Eventually I herniated some cervical discs in my neck, and was having trouble doing anything in the gym or out of the gym without pain. I tried to work around it for several months, but ultimately walked away from Crossfit, and all structured training entirely. My squat and deadlift PR’s above come from this time period.
I dabbled in and out of the gym from 2016 -2021, but never made any real progress. I gained all the weight back that I had lost during my Crossfit years. I continued moving my body, but I don’t know that I was ever really doing myself any good.
In December 2021/January 2022, I was once again completely de-conditioned, fat and generally unhappy with myself. I found the /weightroom Program Party, which that year was the SBS program. I joined in, doing the SBS linear progression for the first 8 or 9 weeks of the program party, and having good success, until in week 9 I aggravated an old quadriceps tendonitis injury. This made squatting impossible. In the past, I have let injuries like this completely de-rail me. This time, however, I continued working. I stopped squatting, and I stopped the SBS programming and progressive overload, but I DID continue going to the gym. I mainly did 3-4 days per week, maintaining the maxes that I had worked up to during the program party. I definitely had some fuckaround-itis, but I continued doing 3 sets of 3 reps at 225 bench, 315 dead lift and 135 OHP, for like 9 months. I didn’t get any heavier on the barbell, but I at least didn’t lose what I had. While I didn’t do any 1RM testing during this time, I did use my performance on these lifts to estimate my 1RM’s for programming my initial 1RM’s for the SBS program.
My diet was still completely unchecked during this time from March 2022 - September 2022.
In September 2022, something happened to me, and I don’t know exactly what triggered it at that particular moment. I just had this generally restless and discontent feeling. I thought maybe I needed more excitement in my life, or a career change, or SOMETHING. Instead, I recognized it for what I think it really was, which was a complete dissatisfaction with what I had allowed myself to become physically. I had a major mindset shift. I re-downloaded MyFitnessPal, and chose to do the SBS Reps in Reserve Program. 4x/week
The Program:
SBS is a 21 week program, split into three 7 week phases. Every 7th week is a de-load. The program consists of a spreadsheet on google Drive where you choose the exercises you want to do, how many days you want to train, and then enter in your starting 1RM weights for your chosen exercises. The program loads and updates your training weights based off of your performance at the prescribed weight. For $10, it is an insane value.
I estimated my maxes at the start based on what I had been lifting in the gym for the first 9 months of the year. My quad tendonitis had stopped bothering me to the point that I believed I could squat again, but started very light. I used the following figures to start the program:
Bench Press: 250 Deadlift: 405 Squat: 275 OHP: 150
Accessories/auxillaries:
I made an adjustment to my bench, squat and deadlift auxiliary work around week 16, after having a coaching session with one of the powerlifting trainers who works with clients at my gym.
Squat auxiliary work - Slow tempo squats (changed from slow tempo squats + pin squats)
Bench auxillary work - Slow tempo bench + close grip bench (changed from pin press + close grip bench)
Deadlift auxiliary work- Paused Deadlift (changed from sumo dead lift)
OHP auxillary work - Dumbbell OHP (unchanged)
Accessory work was mostly centered around upper back, and I trained upper back at the end of every session: Lat pull-down, Cable row, Chest supported dumbbell rows, and Barbell rows
For diet, I ran a deficit for the first 15 weeks, averaging around 1,900 kcal/day and around 200g of protein a day. By week 15 I was feeling totally drained. I bumped kcal back up closer to maintenance of ~2400kcal/day, still staying between 180-220 g of protein most days from week 16 - 21. Main staples in my diet were: Whey protein (up to 4 scoops some days), chicken breasts, 0% greek yogurt, steel cut oats, salmon, ground turkey and egg whites. Alcohol was limited to no more than 2 drinks per week, usually vodka if anything. I would wager that I had fewer than 6 beers during this 21 week program.
I ran no supplements other than whey protein, collagen and a multi-vitamin.
Most training days I was at the gym for approximately 1 hour and 40 minutes. I had a hard time getting out of there any faster, especially as the weeks go on and the loads get heavier. Doing a lot of tempo work probably doesn’t help that. And I am a very slow warm-up person.
Hiccups:

• After the first 15 weeks, I was feeling banged up. My AC and SC joints were super sore to the point that I stopped barbell OHP. With my history of cervical herniated discs, and the fact that I don’t compete in any sport anymore, I decided to stop performing that lift for now. I did continue doing dumbbell OHP, because it doesn’t seem to hurt.
  
• I got sick 1 week during the program, around week 18 or 19. I was able to train through it, without missing any sets or reps on main lifts. I limited accessory work this week.
  
• I moved one week, during week 20. I was SO busy and stressed. I missed several training days, and my diet consisted of whatever I could grab. I drank alcohol a few nights during moving week, but nothing excessive.
  

Otherwise, I was very fortunate to have a very stable work and home life that allowed me to consistently train, and get done what I needed to get done in the gym and in the kitchen.
Pearls:

• Probably one of the best things I did during this program was to enlist the help of one of the trainers at my gym. I would classify myself as an experienced novice in lifting. I knew how to do the basic lifts mostly safely, but benefitted enormously from expert coaching. After one session with him on squat/bench/deadlift, I felt like my form and progress skyrocketed. I also had some pain issues developing that were fixed with his form tweaks and cues. So I would recommend anyone who has coaching available, try out a session.
  
• SBS includes an Over-warm singles box on the spreadsheet that you can use to help accurately program weights for your working sets. The general gist is that an overwarm single should be a weight that is an RPE of 8 for you (2 reps in reserve) If you enter it into the spreadsheet, the program will automatically update your training maxes, and may increase or decrease the weight for your working sets based on that new data. If you are estimating your 1RM’s when setting up the program, doing and reporting your overwarm singles will help get your weights dialed in correctly.
  
• I am really glad that I took regular video of my sets. Watching playback of my hard work had definite positive reinforcement for me. It also allowed me to lift more efficiently, and recognize things that may need attention, and enlist feedback from others on form and cues.
  
• Nutrition is paramount. All of the hard work and effort that I put in at the gym could have easily been undone with poor eating habits- Either not counting calories, or not ensuring adequate protein intake. Grocery shopping and meal prep on Sunday was a huge benefit throughout the week. Taking chance out of it (what i I can’t get to the store, or get home late, or we don’t have this ingredient, or I forgot to pack my lunch, etc) makes things so much easier. You just eat what you made, and you bring your food to work, and that’s that. That’s just what you do, and its a lot easier to do it correctly this way.
  

Concluding Thoughts:
I am very happy with the results of this program. I lost 32lbs, and gained a ton of strength. I had a goal to hit a 500lb deadlift by the end of this program, and I crushed it last week, hitting 507lbs. I am also really happy with my progress on squat, blowing my previous 1RM of 385 out of the water with a 445 set. My bench is still not where I want it to be, but I’m happy with the progress there as well. I think I obviously harnessed some degree of noob gains during this run, or maybe underestimated some of my true 1RM's, and likely benefitted from improving my form.
All of my clothes fit differently. A belt that I could barely buckle 21 weeks ago now buckles about mid-way down like a normal belt should. I had to buy a different lifting belt, because the one I purchased at the beginning of the program was too big by week 17. I dropped a scrub size at work. My jeans are loose. My love handles are less. I generally feel tighter and less like I’m spilling out over myself. Still work to be done, undoubtedly, but a hell of a lot better than I was at the beginning. I may still be a gross, hairy dude, but I’m a little less gross today than I was 21 weeks ago, except for having grown a mustache.
Next for me, we move to North Carolina for my next work assignment. We’ll be in a furnished rental there. I think I have found a gym in that town that will work for what I need. I will eat at maintenance for another 2 or 3 weeks, and then probably do this all over again, utilizing my new 1RM’s for programming the second run. My goal will be to keep these 1RM’s if not increase them, while dropping to body weight to 205lbs. I think that should be doable. Thanks gnuckols & team for an awesome program.

This week’s vintage batch features a handful of very special early Watermans in black hard rubber and sterling silver, including one very early and very scarce fine silver filigree. Nibs range from Flex to Wet Noodle with one Stub and a B Oblique. As always, all are fully restored and ready to write.
 
ALBUM & TIMESTAMP
 
Pastable link: https://imgur.com/a/s6UZouv
 
Condition (n.b.): All pens listed below have been disassembled, cleaned and restored with new sacs installed in the last couple weeks. Each of these pens is guaranteed to fill and write as designed without leaks or other problems. Nibs have been adjusted when necessary to ensure that all lay down a smooth and consistent line.
THESE PENS HAVE NO CRACKS, CHIPS, PERSONALIZATIONS (except #1 and #2), LOOSE OR MISSING PARTS, BENT NIBS, MISALIGNED TINES, BROKEN/WORN OFF TIPPING, OR THREADING ISSUES.
 
Line Widths and Writing Samples: To provide buyers with as much information as possible, I have started to adopt the following line width standards: XXF (.1-.2mm); XF (approx .3mm); F (approx .4mm); M (approx .6mm); B (approx .8mm). Nib flexibility is determined by variation (max line width under pressure) and softness (amount of pressure). Flexibility designations based on variation generally run as follows for an XF/F nib: Semi-Flex (approx. 1mm); Flex (1.2-1.9mm); Superflex (>2mm). All line width measurements are taken with a digital caliper but should be considered approximations providing a general guide. Width may vary slightly depending on type of ink and paper used as well as amount of pressure applied. All writing samples are on Rhodia dot paper using Waterman Serenity Blue.
 
 
1. c.1928 Waterman 412 1/2 LEC Overlay (Sterling Silver over HR, Basketweave pattern, lever filler, 14k XF Wet Noodle nib). This full-length, slender girth model measures 5 1/8” capped. Waterman's 'L.E.C.' ("Lower End Covered") overlays are a bit less common than partially covered pens today. This pen is made of black hard rubber with a sterling silver overlay (as marked) in an Art Deco pattern Waterman called Basketweave. Bottom of the barrel is knurled for posting. 14k Waterman Ideal #2 is a Wet Noodle with flow and softness comparable to that of a dip pen. It lays down a smooth and consistent XF line that widens to an impressive 4B++ (approx. 2.7mm!) under minimal pressure. Truly astounding variation on this one. Thin hairlines, responsive snap-back, easy variation, and reliable flow over its full range of flex make it an ideal choice for calligraphic writing styles such as Copperplate and Spencerian (see WRITING SAMPLE). Condition: excellent [B]. Overlay shows no notable wear aside from a scratch around the bottom of the barrel overlay from where the cap screws on and a few dings limited to the knurled portion at the end of the barrel (see barrels photo) – nothing that interferes with posting. Hard rubber retains its dark black color with scarcely any fading. Indicia on the barrel is has a professionally engraved monogram in a truly stunning script. Hard rubber has a smooth and lustrous finish with no notable blemishes. All maker’s marks including number stamp on barrel-end are deep and fully legible. Price: $430 SOLD
 
2. 1918 Waterman (4)52 1/2 Jeweler’s Overlay (Sterling Silver over HR, plain pattern, lever filler, 14k M Flex/Superflex Factory Stub nib). This full-length, slender girth model measures 5 3/8” capped. As I understand it, British overlays like this one started out as BHR models, the unusual overlay work commissioned to jewelers by Waterman. This jibes with the model number on the barrel-end of this pen: 52 1/2 as opposed to 452 1/2. The elegantly understated overlay is made of sterling silver, the barrel stamped ‘FDW’ (Frank D. Waterman) alongside a London sterling silver hallmark that dates its production to 1918. It appears the jeweler outfitted this pen with a custom sterling silver clip, which has been solidly soldered to the cap. 14k Ideal #2 nib is a M Factory Stub that yields Super-Flexible variation with Flexible softness – a delightful combination. Under normal pressure it lays down a smooth and consistent M line on the down-strokes and XF line on the cross-strokes. Under moderate pressure the line widens to a 4B+ (approx. 2.0mm) (see WRITING SAMPLE). Strong snap-back and reliable flow over its full range of flex make it a versatile nib just as well suited for quick note taking as it is for calligraphic writing styles. Condition: excellent- [B-]. This one comes from my personal collection it’s built up a nice patina over the years in the case where it was stored. I prefer sterling this way, so I’ve kept it as is. But I’m happy to polish off the patina before shipment on request. The overlay has no terminal flaws, but there are a few pin-sized dings, mostly on the cap, to which these plain overlays were prone (DETAIL PHOTO). Hard rubber is factory black with no discernible fading. The barrel bears the beautiful personalization of M.O’Dowd, engraved in Copperplate script. Hard rubber has a smooth and lustrous finish with no notable blemishes. Number stamp on barrel end is weakened but fully legible – only the ‘5’ is mostly worn away. Price: $390 SOLD
 
3. c.1903 Waterman 12 Fine Silver Filigree (fine [.999] silver over HR, Art Nouveau vine and flower filigree, eyedropper filler, 14k XF Wet Noodle nib). This full-length, standard girth model measures 5 5/16” capped. Waterman’s early overlays with hand-cut filigrees appear to have been introduced in the 1890s. And they are orders of magnitude scarcer than the later overlays that were machined and slipped over the hard rubber. Scarcer still are early overlays like this one, which is made of fine silver (.999 pure vs .925 pure sterling). It’s generally agreed that these were made through a process called electrodeposition. The overlays were plated onto the hard rubber then the filigree was cut and engraved by hand. This fine silver filigree pen predates the introduction of Waterman’s revised numbering system c.1908, when pens with overlays began to be stamped with a 3-digit model code on the barrel-end (SOURCE). This one is simply stamped ‘12’ on the end. The overlay design is an exquisite and finely wrought Art Nouveau motif consisting of winding vines and 4 burgeoning flowers: 2 on the cap and 2 on the barrel. It is an eyedropper filler, which is filled directly in the barrel with an eyedroppepipette once the section is unscrewed. 14k long-tined Ideal #2 nib is a Wet Noodle with flow and softness comparable to that of a dip pen. It lays down a smooth and consistent XF line that widens to a 4B+ (approx. 2.5mm) under minimal pressure (see WRITING SAMPLE). Thin hairlines, strong snap-back, easy variation, and reliable flow over its full range of flex make it an ideal choice for calligraphic writing styles such as Copperplate and Spencerian. Condition: excellent [B]. Fine silver is even softer than sterling, so these overlays were especially prone to wear. This one is in exceptionally good shape, with only some minor scratches and pin-sized dings here and there. The top of the cap remains nice and round. But like so many others, its imprints are quite weak. Under a loupe, one can make out the expected patent date on the cap: ‘PAT. MAY. 24. 98’ (PHOTO). On the barrel, only parts of letters remain, but it’s easy to fill in the gaps if you know what you’re looking for. In this fashion, the barrel overlay reads ‘.999 FINE SILVER / WATERMANS’ at the top and ‘WATERMAN’S U.S.A. / PAT. FEB. 12’ - the rest of the date for Waterman’s original, 1884 fountain pen patent is worn away (PHOTO). In short, not every part of every letter is visible, but there’s plenty left of the imprints to identify this unequivocally as a fine silver overlay made by Waterman. Black hard rubber retains much of its black color – looks black in most lights but with a little fading to a very dark brown visible in certain lights. Hard rubber has a smooth and lustrous finish with no notable blemishes. Indicia for engraving on the barrel has been left blank. Number stamp on barrel end is very weak but legible under a loupe. Not often that one of these comes up for sale. Price: $580 SOLD
 
4. 1910s Waterman 15 Eyedropper (BCHR, eyedropper filler, 14k XF Superflex Keyhole nib). This oversized model has roughly the same girth as a 52 (eyedroppers were thinner than comparably numbered lever fillers) and measures 5 3/8” capped. It's a utilitarian design made of black chased hard rubber with no metal trimmings. Friction-fit slip-cap came clipless from the factory at a time when clips were an optional add-on (no holes drilled for a rivet-clip). Optional vintage accommodation clip with leaf and berry (grape?) motif can be fitted on buyer's request for $25 (see timestamp photo). This pen is another eyedropper. Section unscrews for the barrel to filled with ink using an eyedroppepipette – holds far more ink than a lever filler of the same size. Note that the section was designed to be screwed down nice and snug to ensure an air tight seal. Even then, if these early eyedroppers are carried, it isn't unusual to find a couple drops of ink in the cap from the pen being jostled around. 14k Ideal #5 Keyhole nib is a properly sized replacement. It’s a Super-Flexible writer that lays down a smooth and consistent XF line that widens to a 4B+ (approx. 2.3mm) under light pressure (see WRITING SAMPLE). Thin hairlines, strong snap-back, and reliable flow over its full range of flex make it a great choice for calligraphic writing styles. Condition: excellent [B]. Black hard rubber retains much of its dark black color but has even fading to a deep, dark brown. Chasing shows even, minor wear but is still readily visible and palpable. Hard rubber has a smooth and lustrous finish with no notable blemishes. Manufacturer imprint and number stamp on barrel-end are both deep and fully legible, the latter even containing much of its original red fill. Price: $320
 
5. c.1918 Waterman 52 (BCHR, NPT, lever filler, 14k Flex B Factory Oblique nib). This standard-sized model measures 5 7/16” capped. A fine example of Watermans best selling pen of the period. This 52 is made of black hard rubber with nickel-plated lever. It came clipless from the factory at a time when clips were an optional add-on (no holes drilled for a rivet-clip). Optional vintage accommodation clip with leaf and berry (grape?) motif can be fitted on buyer's request for $25 (see timestamp photo). 14k Ideal 2A nib is a Flexible left-foot Oblique nib (shaped like the toes of your left foot viewed from above). Under normal pressure it lays down a F line on the down-strokes and B line on the cross-strokes. Under moderate pressure the line widens to a 3B++ (approx. 1.9mm) (see WRITING SAMPLE). Versatile variations, strong snap-back, and reliable flow over its full range of flex make it a great choice for many different shaded writing styles. Condition: excellent [B]. Black hard rubber retains much of its dark black color with virtually no fading. Chasing shows even, moderate wear but is still readily visible. Nickel-plated lever shows no brassing but does have wear to the globe and lever box tab. Manufacturer imprint and number stamp on barrel-end are both slightly weakened but still fully legible. Price: $220 SOLD
 
 
 
Shipping: Pens purchased on the weekend are mailed on Tuesday. Otherwise they are mailed within 2 business days of payment. All pens that do not come with their original boxes are packaged in PVC or thick plastic tubes to protect them in transit. To CONUS locations the following shipping options are available:

• USPS First-Class with tracking for $5 Due to the delivery delays that continue under postmaster general DeJoy, I strongly recommend that the Priority shipping option be chosen. All packages will include full insurance (covered by me). Rest assured that a full refund is guaranteed (issued through Paypal) in the event of a lost parcel and you will not have to wait until I receive a reimbursement from the USPS.
  
• USPS Priority with tracking for $9
  

International Customers: Please contact me for shipping quote if located abroad (delivery confirmation required). (Note: due to the issues stated above, my international shipping options are currently limited. PM for more info). Please do not ask me to commit mail fraud by altering the declared value of a pen for customs. Not only am I registered as a business but shipping insurance is based on declared value.
New York Customers: For tax purposes, I am now required to add an 8% sales tax on any sale made in the state of NY. If your shipping address is in NY state, please let me know before payment to receive an adjusted total. Discounted shipping is included for NY State residents to help defray the extra cost.
Ordering: Pens are placed on hold for the first person to reply to the thread and PM me with firm request to purchase (no chat DMs please). A request with the words “I'd like to purchase [pen number]” would be best to avoid confusion), to which I’ll reply with payment details. Please note that a message inquiring into a price discount does not suffice to place a pen on hold. If I haven't received Paypal payment within 24 hrs after a hold is placed, then pen(s) may become available to the next person.
Payment, & Guarantee: Payment by Paypal only. All pens are guaranteed to be in the condition in which I've described them. If I've missed something objectionable or the filling mechanism is not fully functional, the buyer may contact me up to 7 days after receiving the pen for a full refund (issued once I receive the pen back in the same condition as sold). Buyer must ship the return no later than 2 weeks after it was delivered to receive a refund. I've sold pens online for over a decade. Please check my past listings here as well as on the classifieds and historical sales forums on FPN (username: Estragon) and FPGeeks (popcod) for some of my previous offerings.
 
 
OTHER OPEN LISTINGS:

• Parker Striped Vac Duofold Sr, Vac Jr
  
• Parker Vacumatic Major
  
• Conway Stewart Le Tigre MHR Oblique
  
• Solid Gold Ring Top
  
• Esterbrook Relief #12 by Conway Stewart
  
• Jade Sheaffer OS Flat Top
  
• Parker Vacumatic Shadow Wave, Grey Marble Jr
  
• Superflex Burnhams in Colorful Casein
  
• Conklin Enduras, Lizard, Nozac
  

Hello everyone, this post is not made to discredit anyone, instead it is fueled by good intentions and with the most effort I am able to provide, I just want to give my best shot at suggesting what could be done to improve Halo Infinite’s situation.
Despite the outstanding launch most players have left the title unfortunately, 343 suffered from a lot of lay offs too and maybe an outside perspective could be helpful to bring the title back into the spotlight.
NEEDLESS TO SAY: although it would be ideal, these changes are not meant to be applied all at once, 343 can take the time they need and add them in each seasonal update a piece at a time.
You will see that in each point I try to satisfy both 343’s side (make as much money as possible as all companies want) and also players.
Also, no human on Earth is perfect, everyone makes mistakes, 343 is made of human beings, so please, don’t throw your pitch forks at me until you read the entire post.
Let’s begin:
1 - The Matchmaking System
IDEAL SYSTEM FOR 343 AND PLAYERS: this matchmaking system would be able to retain the most players into the title as potential buyers, and all the players playing online would not feel like matches have unfair balancing, but would cheer their time with the title.
CURRENT MATCHMAKING SYSTEM: 343 is making use of either SBMM or EOMM, either way, if we were to rank players’ skill levels in a scale from 1 to 10 the result would produce a classic bell curve graphic in which most players have a skill of 4, 5, 6 or 7 and much fewer players have a skill level of 1, 2, 3, 8, 9 and 10. With this in mind here are the benefits and the negatives of the current matchmaking systems - benefits: since the current system tries to populate matches only with people of very close skill levels competitive matches are mostly balanced, this also works well for all players who have skill 1, 2 or 3 in casual playlists, as they would only play between each other and not get stomped - negatives: players with skill 7 in casual playlists will only find very intense matches that require them to play as hard as possible, which is not the point of casual playlists, but of competitive - this leads all players of skill 7 to have bad time in casual matches, potentially leading them to leave the title!
SOLUTION TO HAVE THE IDEAL SYSTEM: for competitive matches, and casual matches of all players of skill 1, 2 and 3 keep the current system (apply any improvements that I may not know are needed too though), for all casual matches, players who have skill 4 and above are matched only based on the cumulative skill score of their team - example RED TEAM SKILL: 40 BLUE TEAM SKILL 41 - in this way there are various skill leveled players and everyone can have dumb fun online as meant to be in casual playlists, because there is more room to breathe, this would also retain all the players of skill 7 into the game as potential microtransactions buyers, which is what 343 wants - like any other company on Earth, it’s the nature of companies, they can’t exist without money.
2 - The Store
IDEAL SYSTEM FOR 343 AND PLAYERS: ideally 343 would prefer for players to be happy while visiting the store and have a good experience, because if that is the case we buy more stuff - what would be best for us as players is for the store to feature everything at once every day of the year and also provide ways for players to unlock certain items via gameplay.
CURRENT STORE: the store is based on weekly resets, if you don’t buy an item during the week it appears you will need to wait months before being able to buy it again, this creates Fear Of Missing Out (FOMO), which feels as if the game is saying “I am openly trying to manipulate you” (human beings don’t like being manipulated), I also think this is counterintuitive for 343 because if I wanted to buy a specific item I saw on another player’s armor in a match I am no able to do so, and thus they sell less.
SOLUTION FOR THE IDEAL STORE: make it a comprehensive catalog of all the items existing in the game, these items are digital, so the supply is unlimited, you can sell as much as you want of them 343. When it comes to all those armor pieces who are directly taken from classic titles or heavily inspired by classic games 343 should also allow players to unlock them through a gameplay currency that can’t be bought with real money, these specific items would require insane grinds so that at least 343 has the chance to sell them too.
3 - Campaign
THE IDEAL CAMPAIGN FOR 343 AND PLAYERS: most elements of the current Halo Infinite Campaign can not be changed at all, such as the narrative, level design and much more, that being said, the ideal for 343 would be for each person that enjoys the free multiplayer to be invested enough to pay full price for the campaign (it would be a big source of income for them!) - on the other hand for this to happen the Campaign should be so good that anyone who played it praises it to the havens, a good reputation comes a long way for a game to be sold
CURRENT BIGGEST PROBLEMS OF THE CAMPAIGN THAT CAN BE ADDRESSED & SOLUTION: there are other problems that would be useless to highlight as they can’t be corrected anymore, but the lack of different natural environments and peculiar enemy encounters are the biggest problems that can be solved: introducing enemy convoys and caravans that travel across the map would make the game feel way more alive, for what concerns the environments it would be ideal to cover half the game’s Open World in snow, literally pick half a side and have it “”fade”” where the two bioms intersect. These changes would go along way to make the Campaign much more re-playable and increase its reputation. (BONUS: if they are not doing so already, new sandbox elements such as the Bandit rifle should also be added to Campaign).
4 - Customization
Creating new cores and customization items for each update requires a ton of work from 343, I don’t have the numbers at hand, but it would probably be more beneficial (if the catalogue discussed before replaced the weekly store) to settle on the current cores and create a minor number of new customization items in each update, and instead market the outstanding combinations possible thanks to full cross-core customization. If a player really likes a specific item that is locked to a specific core that they don’t have 343 loses the ability to sell that item to the player. Obviously cross-core customization would be loved by us players.
All these updates would for sure put a lot of good will in 343 and increase their reputation and Halo Infinite’s too.
(If desync is still present it takes full priority though)
Thanks to everyone for reading, have a good day.

https://www.nytimes.com/2013/01/27/magazine/how-much-can-restitution-help-victims-of-child-pornography.html
When Nicole was a child, her father took pornographic pictures of her that still circulate on the internet.
Victims of child pornography can now collect damages directly from those convicted of possessing their images. But how much can restitution help them repair their lives?
By Emily Bazelon Jan. 24, 2013
The detective spread out the photographs on the kitchen table, in front of Nicole, on a December morning in 2006. She was 17, but in the pictures, she saw the face of her 10-year-old self, a half-grown girl wearing make-up. The bodies in the images were broken up by pixelation, but Nicole could see the outline of her father, forcing himself on her. Her mother, sitting next to her, burst into sobs.
The detective spoke gently, but he had brutal news: the pictures had been downloaded onto thousands of computers via file-sharing services around the world. They were among the most widely circulated child pornography on the Internet. Also online were video clips, similarly notorious, in which Nicole spoke words her father had scripted for her, sometimes at the behest of other men. For years, investigators in the United States, Canada and Europe had been trying to identify the girl in the images.
Nicole's parents split up when she was a toddler, and she grew up living with her mother and stepfather and visiting her father, a former policeman, every other weekend at his apartment in a suburban town in the Pacific Northwest. He started showing her child pornography when she was about 9, telling her that it was normal for fathers and daughters to "play games" like in the pictures. Soon after, he started forcing her to perform oral sex and raping her, dressing her in tight clothes and sometimes binding her with ropes. When she turned 12, she told him to stop, but he used threats and intimidation to continue the abuse for about a year. He said that if she told anyone what he'd done, everyone would hate her for letting him. He said that her mother would no longer love her.
Nicole (who asked me to use her middle name to protect her privacy) knew her father had a tripod set up in his bedroom. She asked if he'd ever shown the pictures to anyone. He said no, and she believed him. "It was all so hidden," she told me. "And he knew how to lie. He taught me to do it. He said: 'You look them straight in the eye. You make your shoulders square. You breathe normally.'"
When she was 16, Nicole told her mother, in a burst of tears, what had been going on at her father's house. Her father was arrested for child rape. The police asked Nicole whether he took pictures. She said yes, but that she didn't think he showed them to anyone. A few months later, while her father was out on bail, Nicole was using a computer he gave her to work on a presentation for Spanish class when she came across a file with a vulgar name that she couldn't open. She showed it to her mother and stepfather, and they brought the computer to the police.
A search detected five deleted video files of child pornography, two of them showing Nicole and her father. In the spring of 2006, he was charged with a new crime—producing the videos—and he fled the country. At this point, the police didn't realize that Nicole's father had also distributed the images.
Months later, the police said they had no leads on her father, so Nicole went on television to ask the public for any tips that might help them find him. A police officer in Toronto involved in tracking child pornography around the world saw the broadcast and recognized Nicole as an older version of the girl in the notorious videos. The Toronto officer set off an alert that reached the police in Nicole's hometown, informing them that she was the victim in a major pornography-distribution case.
The alert brought the local detective to Nicole's house on that December day, to confirm that she was in fact the girl in the pictures that circulated around the globe. "It was the worst moment of my life," Nicole said of seeing the pictures of herself. "In a way, I didn't remember it being that bad with my father—and then I saw that it was. Knowing that other people, all over, had seen me like that, I just froze. I could hear my mother crying, but I couldn't cry."
Nicole's appearance on TV produced a tip that eventually led the police to arrest her father in Hong Kong. But by going public, she had inadvertently exposed her identity to thousands of men who for years had collected her images. On one Web site with an American flag design, on a thread that continued for four years, commenters described in detail the acts of rape and bondage Nicole had experienced. One called the videos "legendary." Another called her "an eager participant" because her father instructed her to smile and talk in the videos. "The fact remains that she is the most searched for, sought after and downloaded ever," a third commenter wrote. "There are hours of video out there. It's just too bad there are not more willing like her."
For Nicole, knowing that so many men have witnessed and taken pleasure from her abuse has been excruciating. "You have an image of yourself as a person, but here is this other image," she told me. "You know it's not true, but all those other people will believe that it's you—that this is who you really are."
Until the 1970s, magazines with titles like Lolita were rife with sexual images of minors and routinely sold alongside adult pornography at red-light bookstores. In 1978, Congress made child pornography illegal, and four years later, the Supreme Court upheld a state law banning its sale. The court's decision changed the market along with the law. "The commercial distributors started to go out of business," said Kenneth Lanning, a retired F.B.I. agent who consulted on child pornography cases for decades. For a time, distribution and production plummeted. But then came the Internet. By the mid- to late 1990s, Lanning said, "there was a way for people seeking it to find each other and send images."
A decade later, the Justice Department interviewed veteran experts like Lanning for a 2010 report, and concluded that "the market—in terms of numbers of offenders, images and victims"—was growing to a degree described as "overwhelming" and "exponential." In the early-Web year of 1994, only 61 defendants were sentenced in federal court for child-pornography offenses; in 2011, 1,880 were, a 30-fold increase. The federal definition of child pornography extends to young people up to age 18, but the 2010 report noted that it had become more common for images to involve young children, as well as violence and sadism.
Precise numbers of child-pornography viewers are hard to come by. Unicef estimates that there are at least hundreds of thousands of Web sites with child pornography worldwide. Child-pornography consumers are even more likely to swap with one another via hidden networks. Using a tool developed at the University of Massachusetts, Amherst, in 2009, police have logged close to 22 million public I.P. addresses offering child-pornography pictures or videos via peer-to-peer file sharing, which allows users to download content from one computer to another; almost 10 million of the I.P. addresses were located in the United States. Many of the users shared only a single illegal image, perhaps downloaded inadvertently, but others offered collections of hundreds or thousands of pictures.
To gain access to a group of downloaders, a recent arrival may have to prove himself by delivering new material. Often this involves digitally altering an existing image, but in some cases, it can also mean seducing children to create new pictures to trade. The most desired series zoom around the Internet. "A lot of these guys have a collector's mentality," Lanning said. The pictures Nicole's father took became must-haves and went viral.
For Nicole, knowing that her photos were circulating was an unrelenting burden. It was hard to concentrate at school and hard to forge new friendships. She stayed close to just a few friends from her church. Her family is deeply Christian—"I've found comfort in my faith," she says—and she was home-schooled for a few years as a younger child. Her friends from church were the only ones she told about her father. "Everyone else I held at arm's length," she told me when we met this summer at her lawyer's office. Nicole speaks deliberately and carefully, and on that day she was wearing an outfit that matched her coral nail polish and perfectly applied makeup. "But other kids found out after my father was charged. I remember walking down the hallways and thinking I could hear people saying, 'There's the girl who was raped by her dad.'"
In her junior year, Nicole transferred to a community college with a program for students who wanted to earn an associate's degree while finishing high school. "At the time I'd have said I went for academic reasons, but looking back, it was also to isolate myself," she said.
Late that spring, Nicole got a series of messages on Myspace from a man who said he had been looking for her for five years. He asked, "Want me to come visit u?" When Nicole blocked him, he wrote to one of her friends on Myspace, telling her that Nicole was a "porn star"—and sending two images. "That's when I fully realized what it meant for these pictures to be out there," Nicole said. "I couldn't get away from it, not really. I started getting paranoid and having nightmares."
The man was arrested and went to prison, but Nicole couldn't avoid the knowledge that other men were still looking at the sexual photos of her young self. Later that year, she got a letter from the Victim Notification System at the Justice Department. Congress had passed a law in 2004 mandating that crime victims receive notice every time a suspect is arrested or has a court appearance. The letter was addressed to Nicole's mother and stepfather because she hadn't yet turned 18; it informed them that a man in California had been arrested for possessing a pornographic photo of her. "It just sat there on the counter for days," Nicole remembered. "We didn't really know where to put it." More arrests followed and more letters—piles of them. "We stacked them in a laundry basket in a walk-in closet so I wouldn't have to see them," Nicole said. "Then there were more baskets, and we had to move them to the garage. It was really hard for me. I was still scared of my father, but I knew him. These other people, they were strangers, and there were so many of them."
The piles of letters would eventually connect Nicole with another young woman who had also been abused and then lead them both to court. Back in April 1998, in one of the first investigations into Internet trafficking of child pornography, the F.B.I. started tracking an AOL user, with the handle HAZMAT029, who was posting on an AOL bulletin board service. HAZMAT029 sent 80 illegal pictures to another user, BMR169, along with e-mails that included the message: "do me a favor. get a peice [sic] of paper and wright HI HAZ on it and take a pic of her in nothing but stockings pulled down below her [genitals]." BMR169 e-mailed back pictures of a young girl, her shorts and underwear pulled to the side, sitting on a gray carpet in front of a wooden dresser. Next to her, a note read, "HI HAZ."
The F.B.I. traced BMR's AOL account to a suburban house in a small town, and in October of that year, a team of agents arrived with a search warrant. In a basement bedroom, they found the gray carpet and the dresser. They also seized a computer full of illegal images, including pictures that showed the same girl being forced to give oral sex and being raped. The man the F.B.I. suspected was BMR wasn't home, so the agents showed the face of the child in the photos to his wife and his adult son. Did they recognize the girl?
They did. As they spoke, one of the agents looked out the window of the house and saw the girl playing in the yard across the street. "It's something I'll never forget," he told me.
Amy, as she's called in the court documents, was BMR's 9-year-old niece. Shown sanitized versions of the pictures, Amy denied that her uncle had abused her. She said he told her she was special and took her to buy treats like beef jerky, and she didn't want anything bad to happen to him. "How is he?" she asked her parents in the weeks after his arrest. "Is he going to be mad at me?"
Over months of therapy, Amy began to talk about the abuse. "My mind has everything in it," she told her therapist, according to court records I read with her permission. She remembered her uncle trying to have sex with her—it hurt, and she pulled away. And she remembered, at his direction, chatting with men over the Internet about the photos he sent them.
Amy's uncle pleaded guilty to one count of rape and two counts of child sexual abuse in state court and was sentenced to the minimum for each one, adding up to 12½ years in prison. In federal court, he pleaded guilty to one count of production of child pornography and received a 12-year sentence. Amy's current lawyer, James Marsh, says her parents were told the state and federal penalties would run consecutively, but instead, her uncle was allowed to serve the two at the same time.
Amy was given a diagnosis of depression and post-traumatic stress disorder the year her uncle was sentenced, but she also asked to stop going to therapy—she told her parents that she didn't want to talk about the abuse anymore. Her mother, who worked in health care, and her father, a tradesman, blamed themselves for trusting Amy's uncle with her. For years Amy's mother barely spoke to Amy's aunt, who remained married to her husband, even though the sisters continued to live across the street from each other.
As Amy grew up, she tried to push aside what had happened to her. Every few months, in middle school and high school, her parents would ask if she wanted to talk about it, and each time she would say no. "I was always thinking about it, but I wasn't ready to deal with how I felt," she says now. Amy threw herself into her social life, going out and drinking in the hills behind her house. Even to the friends who knew, it almost seemed as if the abuse hadn't happened.
When she was 17, Amy received her first crime-victim notice from the Justice Department. "My mom said it was a mistake, because I was still a minor—the letter should have been addressed to her and my dad," she said. "But it had my name on it, and I never got mail, so I wanted to open it. My parents took me into their room and said we needed to have a talk." Amy's parents had never told her that her uncle had distributed images of her to other men. "It had been so long by then, eight years," she said. "They didn't know how to tell me."
Amy's parents took her to see Marsh, who had started the public-interest Children's Law Center in Washington. At their first meeting, he explained to Amy that the letters meant her pictures had been traded countless times online. "I just felt so full of shame," Amy said. "I started wondering, Has he looked at them? He said he hadn't, and that made me feel better. But then I thought, Who has?"
Marsh researched legal remedies for Amy. Combing through his casebooks, he found a provision in the Violence Against Women Act that he had never heard of before: it gave the victims of sex crimes, including child pornography, the right to restitution or compensation for the "full amount" of their losses. Enumerating what those losses could be, Congress listed psychiatric care, lost income and legal costs and concluded, "The issuance of a restitution order under this section is mandatory."
The provision for restitution, enacted in 1994, had yet to be invoked in a case of child-pornography possession. The basis for such a claim wasn't necessarily self-evident: how could Amy prove that her ongoing trauma was the fault of any one man who looked at her pictures, instead of her uncle, who abused her and made the pornography?
Marsh suggested that Amy see a forensic psychologist, Joyanna Silberg, who evaluated Amy and said she would need therapy throughout her life and could expect to work sporadically because of the likelihood of periodic setbacks. Silberg attributed these costs—Amy's damages—to her awareness of the ongoing downloading and viewing. "Usually, we try to help survivors of child sexual abuse make a very strong distinction between the past and the present," Silberg, who has given testimony on Amy's behalf for restitution hearings, told me. "The idea is to contain the harm: it happened then, and it's not happening anymore. But how do you do that when these images are still out there? The past is still the present, which turns the hallmarks of treatment on their head."
Marsh put together a lifetime claim for Amy totaling almost $3.4 million. With the crime notices arriving in the mail, Marsh started tracking men charged with possession of her pictures. He looked, in particular, for wealthy defendants. He planned to use the concept of joint and several liability to argue that each defendant should be on the hook for the full amount of his client's damages—that is, for millions of dollars. Joint and several liability is often used in pollution cases: when several companies dump toxic waste in a lake over time, a plaintiff can go after the company with the deepest pockets, and a judge can hold that single company responsible for the entire cost of the cleanup—with the understanding that it's up to that polluter to sue the others to pay their share.
In July 2008, Marsh learned about the arrest of Alan Hesketh, a former vice-president of Pfizer, who was charged with trading nearly 2,000 child-pornography photos online—among them four pictures of Amy. Marsh filed one of his first requests for restitution with the prosecution. Hesketh pleaded guilty, and his sentencing was scheduled for later that year.
At the time of the Hesketh case, Amy was struggling. She was 19 and living with her boyfriend. She had enrolled at a local community college, but she drank too much to concentrate on studying. The crime-victim notices had stirred up the past for her, and she wasn't in regular therapy. "The last class I went to, there was this PowerPoint slide, something about child sexual abuse, and I thought, I can't do this," she told me as she sat in her kitchen smoking a cigarette. "It just brought everything back." Amy dropped out after that, without telling her parents. "I told myself I would just take a year off," she continued. "But you know, statisticwise, once you leave school, the chances you'll finish go down about 80 percent."
Amy has a quick intelligence—she's a college dropout who can rattle off her own odds of going back—and asks lots of questions. She has focused her curiosity on the legal strategy that Marsh has pursued for her. When Hesketh was sentenced, Amy decided she would be there. "I kind of wanted to face my fear," she told me. She also wanted to prove a point: Hesketh was arguing, through his lawyer, that he had committed a victimless crime—a common defense in cases of child-pornography possession. "I thought, I want him to look at me and know that I'm not a picture; I'm a person," she said.
In a federal courthouse in Bridgeport, Conn., in October 2008, Amy sat on the opposite side of the courtroom from Hesketh's family. The judge opened the proceedings by acknowledging that there was a victim in the courtroom. Amy listened as Hesketh's grown children asked the judge for mercy for their father. "His kids kept saying he was the best grandfather ever," she said. "And I was like: 'But you know. You know what he did.'"
Then Hesketh took the stand. As Amy remembers it, he said, "I'm so sorry." Earlier, he said that "he hadn't hurt anyone," Amy told me. "Now he totally flipped around. I felt like I'd made an impact. It was like, 'He knows now.'"
Hesketh was sentenced to 6½ years. Four months later, in an unprecedented move, the judge advised Hesketh to settle the restitution claim and he agreed to pay $130,000.
Not long after, Amy found out she was pregnant. She wasn't sorry—at the time she had faith in her boyfriend, whom she had told about the abuse and the photos. But he was a heroin user and dealer, and he went to jail two months after their son was born. Amy started seeing another man who she says had a jealous streak and broke her nose, twice. He also broke her infant son's leg, she told me. She took the blame when he threatened her, and she had to give up custody to her mother for six months.
As she recalled this time in her life, she took out her phone and scrolled through her photos until she found a close-up of her beaten face: lip split, one eye half-closed, nose swollen and cheek yellow with bruises. The young woman next to me had clear skin and bright eyes, and I had just watched her charm a police officer into calling us a cab. The girl in the photo was expressionless.
Amy stared at the picture on her phone. "That was my normal," she said.
Six months after Hesketh's sentencing, Marsh went after another child-pornography defendant, Arthur Staples, a 65-year-old sheriff's deputy in Virginia, who had chatted online with an undercover detective and expressed an interest in young children. Staples sent one image of a young girl (not Amy), and he was caught with more than 600 pictures on his computer, including hers. Staples agreed not to appeal any sentence or restitution judgment. The judge sentenced him to 17½ years, and made the unusual move of ordering him to pay all of Amy's claim. To Marsh's surprise, Staples turned out to have $2 million in assets. He has since paid $1.2 million to Amy. (Marsh says the government let Staples's wife keep part of the estate.) While Amy has been turned down for restitution by some courts, which have stated that there was not enough proof that any one man who viewed her pictures was responsible for the harm she has suffered, she has won more than 150 cases, totaling $1.6 million. Most of the amounts aren't large: $1,000 or even $100, paid out in checks as small as $7.33.
Nicole has also been pursuing restitution. Her lawyer, Carol Hepburn, did her own research and got in touch with Marsh when she learned about the claims he was bringing for Amy. The two lawyers now collaborate on ideas and strategy, though they represent their clients separately. Since receiving her first check for $10,000, Nicole has collected more than $550,000, mostly in small amounts from 204 different men. So far only a few other child-pornography victims have gone to court for restitution. Many may not know there is a legal remedy; others don't know their images have circulated.
The restitution checks gave Nicole a lift when they started to trickle in, but, like Amy, she had trouble with the transition into adulthood. In the fall of 2008, Nicole was attending a one-year bible college and working at an ice-cream shop. At work she felt increasingly self-conscious around male customers. Had they seen her pictures? Were they like the man who stalked her on Myspace—were any of them coming to the store because they knew? That spring, Nicole testified at her father's sentencing. She asked the judge to give him a long punishment, and her father was sent to prison for 50 years. Her roommates, one of whom was a friend from her childhood church, supported her. "But I didn't have a counselor there, and that was tough," she said. "I called my parents and said: 'I have to quit my job, and I need to come home. I feel like I'm going crazy.'"
During her first few weeks at home, Nicole slept all day in her childhood bedroom and stayed up late watching sitcoms like Sabrina and The Nanny. Finally, she started counseling and was able to get a job doing administrative work at a nuclear-waste site. That June, she testified at the sentencing hearing of four child-pornography defendants caught with her images, hoping to gather strength from speaking out. Instead, the experience made her feel exposed.
More than a year later, in the fall of 2010, she left for a four-year college away from home. She was worried about being on her own, but she wanted to try. "I push myself," she told me. "I don't like to say something is too much for me." Like Amy, however, she took a psychology course, about child development, that brought up unbearable memories. During lectures, she began going blank. "All of a sudden class would be over, and I would be like, 'What happened?'" she said. She started skipping class for fear of continuing to disassociate.
Nicole, who wasn't in counseling at the time, failed all but two of her courses that spring. "I just totally broke down," she said. "I'd come home and sit in the same position and stare into space, and then I'd look at the clock, and it was six hours later." Nicole talked about this period of her life with Hepburn and me over dinner one night last summer. She showed us a tattoo on her right wrist: a heart sheltered by wings that she got after her father's sentencing. She also learned to make tattoos, and she took out her phone to show us a picture of the first one she created, an anchor with a rope curled around it. "My cousin is a tattoo artist, and he taught me," she said. "We grew up together, and he was a very easy person to hang out with during that bad time. I'd go over to his place, and he'd be drawing, and he said, 'You're into design, you could do this.' When I tried I felt this release of emotions. We started drawing for hours to music—Tom Petty, Cake, everything. You have to learn how to go smoothly and keep the same pressure on the line the whole time. I drew anchors over and over again on grapefruit. I'd been numb for months, and now I could feel again. I actually felt joy."
In the fall of 2011, Nicole transferred to a campus closer to her family. She made her way through her course work by avoiding subject matter that upset her and by allowing for her own limitations. "I had to accept that, because I have this extra stressor, I get overwhelmed by things that other people can do," she said.
Nicole decided to spare herself going to court, so she wasn't in El Paso, in September 2011, for the sentencing of Luis Enriquez-Alonso, a student at the University of Texas. He agreed to plead guilty after being caught with thousands of illegal videos and images, including Nicole's, on his computer. At the hearing, Enriquez-Alonso and his parents listened while the prosecutor read into the record a statement Nicole wrote about what it is like to know men are looking at her pictures: "After all these years and going to different counselors, I still haven't learned the trick to let my mind rest," Nicole wrote. "When I do sleep, my dreams are vivid and I remember them for weeks. A common theme is finding myself naked in front of a crowd of people or in an enclosed space and I can't escape or run away fast enough."
That day, without a court order, Enriquez-Alonso's family handed over a check for $150,000, along with an expression of remorse. "That really touched me," Nicole said, "that his family wanted to make sure that I was taken care of, that I could get all the counseling I need. Most of the time when I get restitution, there's no story behind it. I feel like they're forced to give the money. In this case, they wanted to do it, and there were words behind it, kind words." Enriquez-Alonso, who faced a maximum of 10 years in prison, is serving 5.
Study after study links child sexual abuse to psychological trauma, addiction and violent relationships in adulthood. There is almost no research, however, that deals with the specifics of Amy and Nicole's experiences: What additional harm comes from knowing that pictures of your childhood exploitation are circulating widely?
The Supreme Court actually addressed this question in its 1982 decision upholding child-pornography bans. "Pornography poses an even greater threat to the child victim than does sexual abuse or prostitution," Justice Byron White wrote, quoting from a book about abused children. "Because the child's actions are reduced to a recording, the pornography may haunt him in future years, long after the original misdeed took place."
David Finkelhor, a sociologist who directs the Crimes Against Children Research Center at the University of New Hampshire, sees the moral weight of the Supreme Court's proclamation, but not the empirical proof. "The evidence doesn't yet tell us to what extent the experience of being a pornography victim aggravates the experience of the sexual abuse itself," he told me. "How do you separate it out?"
Courts have disagreed on this question. In at least a dozen cases, defendants have appealed restitution decisions and mostly won. In five of those cases, federal appeals courts have expressed skepticism that Amy and Nicole should receive more than nominal restitution. Two other appeals courts have allowed the young women to recover from individual defendants as members of the group of viewers but, so far, only for amounts of $10,000 or less. (Amy collected a far greater sum from Arthur Staples because he waived his right to appeal.)
Last spring, the legal battle was focused on the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Fifth Circuit, which covers Texas, Louisiana and Mississippi. One panel of three judges upheld full restitution to Amy of millions of dollars from a Texas man. Based on that decision, a second three-judge panel affirmed a separate $529,000 restitution order for Amy against a New Orleans defendant, but voiced its fundamental disagreement with the original ruling. To address the dispute, 15 Fifth Circuit judges gathered last May for a hearing in New Orleans. James Marsh and Carol Hepburn were there along with Amy; Nicole chose not to go. Amy knew this was the most significant hearing to date, and she wanted to show the judges that she was real, just as she had shown Alan Hesketh.
At the lectern to argue her side was Paul G. Cassell, a former federal judge who teaches law at the University of Utah. Cassell is a staunch conservative (he challenged the right to a Miranda warning before the Supreme Court), and Marsh and Hepburn, both Democrats, were surprised at first to be allied with him. But as a leading advocate for victims' rights, Cassell sees in Amy's claims a chance to lay the groundwork for broader change.
For 30 years, the victims'-rights movement has fought for a larger role for victims in criminal prosecutions. Victims have gained the right to make statements in court about the impact a crime has had on them, which judges can take into account in determining punishment. Restitution remains an ambitious next step. The standard context is crime involving financial loss—a bank robber ordered to return stolen money to the bank or an embezzler who must repay the employer he defrauded. Cassell sees Amy and Nicole's cases as a route to expand the idea. "I'd like to pursue the concept of total restitution for all victims, for whatever crimes and losses a defendant has caused," Cassell told me. "This is a good opportunity to show how it can work."
In the courtroom, Cassell linked the defendants to the network for child-pornography distribution. "What the defendants have done is collect images of an 8-year-old girl being bound, raped and sodomized," he said. "If you participate in a market, you become responsible for that market." The lawyer for the New Orleans defendant disagreed. She argued that there was no proof that her client, in particular, had harmed Amy—no way to show that his viewing of her images caused damage. She also called the restitution order for $529,000 "grossly disproportionate to his culpability relative to other people who have abused Amy."
Michael Rotker, the lawyer for the department, told the court that the problem with the restitution awards was that there was no statutory authority for joint and several liability—nothing in the law, as Congress wrote it, which allowed a victim to recover a large award from one defendant who could then seek to recoup those losses by suing other defendants. Instead, Rotker argued, each defendant could be held responsible only for a small and roughly equal fraction of the whole. He offered this hypothetical example: if 200 men were convicted of possessing Amy's images, and her claim for damages totaled $3 million, then a judge would have discretion to order a defendant to pay restitution of $15,000 to $30,000.
As the lawyers spoke, Amy's eyes filled with tears. "Some of it was hard to listen to," she told me later. "But my therapist said to think of it as a store, with different compartments you can take out and put back. She said, 'When you were a little girl, you had to compartmentalize to deal with everything you went through.' So I can still do that now, and sometimes it's good, I guess."
At one point in the proceedings, Judge Emilio Garza stopped Cassell, not to challenge him, but to pick up on his theme. "It seems to me that we're in this brave new world, where not only was there an actual rape, but I'm going to suggest to you there is a continuing digitized rape," the judge said. "Possession of the digitized recording of the rape contributes to the system, contributes to the economic benefit of those who produced this thing."
The judges would not announce their decision for several months, but at the end of the hearing, Amy focused on what Garza said that day. "To hear that from a judge—I couldn't believe it," she told me. "It was so relieving. It was like he really got it. He understood."
Just six weeks after Amy got home from New Orleans, her uncle was released from prison after completing his concurrent 12-year sentences. Amy says she was greatly relieved when her aunt told her that she wouldn't allow him in the house. Instead, he was paroled nearby. When Marsh texted to give her the address, Amy happened to be only a few blocks from it. "I almost dropped the phone," she said. "Oh, my God, it was just so weird. I thought, He's got binoculars, he's looking for me. I thought the worst." Marsh reminded her that if her uncle contacted her, he would go back to prison. And also that she was an adult now and safe from her uncle's [abusiveness toward children].
Last month, while standing in line at Wal-Mart with her brother and a friend, Amy saw a man who she thought was her uncle looking at her. "I wasn't positive because I haven't seen him for so long," she said. "But as soon as I made eye contact, I didn't breathe." Was she being paranoid? She couldn't tell. The man seemed to follow them out of the store. As they got into her car, the man stopped to light a cigarette, and she thought he was staring at them. "It was very, very scary," she said.
Today, a sentence like the one Amy's uncle received—with no additional prison time for a federal conviction for pornography production and distribution—is extremely rare. The penalties for distributing or receiving pornography have become harsher. Receiving one illegal photo carries a mandatory minimum penalty of five years. The number of images a defendant downloads increases the punishment, as does his use of a computer. Now that large volumes of data stream with a click, the average recommended prison term for possession has jumped to 10 years, even if a defendant has no criminal record and there is no evidence that he produced or distributed porn. Because some child sexual abuse cases still end in relatively low penalties in state court, there's a paradox: defendants who look at sexual pictures of children can spend more years in prison than people who abuse children but don't have pornography of them.
The United States Sentencing Commission held hearings last February to discuss whether the punishment for child-pornography offenders has become both disproportionate and unfair—with people who committed similar crimes receiving vastly different penalties, based on the subjective decisions of judges. Restitution was discussed even though the prevailing view is that technically it isn't considered part of punishment. Its purpose is to "make the victim whole," as the legal phrase goes. "Simply put, an innocent victim should not suffer financial losses from a crime—the defendant should make good on those losses," Cassell said.
But Douglas Berman, an Ohio State University law professor who writes a frequently cited blog about sentencing, argues that the commission could rethink the role of restitution. In some cases, restitution could be considered commensurate to prison time—and courts could recommend shorter sentences for child-pornography collectors who agree to compensate victims based on their ability to pay. Berman thinks the key to making this leap is adopting the point of view of the victim. "Victims are shrewder than most prosecutors about the diminishing returns of long incarceration," he said. "They want perpetrators to serve some time. They want these men's lives disrupted, and they want the deterrence that helps protect other people. But they're often wise enough to realize that there's not much gain in deterrence from a 5 or 10 year sentence to 15 years. If victims are saying that restitution is as, or more, important to them than five extra years, I very much think the sentencing commission and Congress should listen."
When I asked Amy about such a trade-off, she supported it. Nicole had mixed feelings: she liked the idea of greater incentives for restitution, but she wasn't sure about giving up longer punishments, given how easy it would be for someone to leave prison and go back to downloading child pornography. Cassell says that using restitution in this way could have value. "If it makes the perpetrators internalize how they've hurt the victims—if it makes them see there are real victims—then you deter them from doing this again when they get out," he said.
Berman also favors a proposal that has been discussed at the Justice Department: a general compensation fund that would systematically collect restitution from child-pornography offenders and pay it out to victims like Amy and Nicole based on the harm they suffered and the costs they've incurred because of it. A compensation fund could give more victims the financial means to put their lives back together. And it could force more defendants to reckon with the children in the pictures and with their own role in supporting a market that depends on abuse.
Restitution has allowed Amy and Nicole to get the counseling they need, but receiving large sums can be complicated. When Amy received her $130,000 check from Alan Hesketh, she went on shopping sprees at the mall, splurging at stores like Abercrombie & Fitch. She had never been able to earn a steady paycheck, and the money was a sudden windfall. By the time the $1.2 million check came last spring, she was more considered. She didn't want to stand out in her small town. Last summer, she bought a modest three-bedroom house a few miles from her childhood home, where her mother and brothers still live.
Amy has also discovered that she likes giving money away—to her mother for a new deck, to a close friend who wanted kitchen cabinets she couldn't otherwise afford. It's her way of dealing with the discomfort of having resources that people around her don't and repaying those who helped her along the way.
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From 1999's Sixth Sense to the recently wrapped Apple TV series Servant, M. Night Shyamalan has earned a reputation for surprising audiences with plot-twisting, head-spinning thrillers. The writer-director's latest, Knock at the Cabin, takes viewers deep into the woods for an apocalyptic hostage story. See our review of Knock at the Cabin for more info.
Fresh off the tails of Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery, Dave Bautista stars alongside Jonathan Groff, Rupert Grint and Ben Aldridge in the new apocalyptic horror flick, Knock at the Cabin.
Directed by M. Night Shyamalan (The Sixth Sense, Split), this movie is about a young girl and her parents vacationing in a remote cabin as they are directed by a group of armed strangers to sacrifice one member of their family in an effort to prevent the apocalypse.
Where can you watch Knock at the Cabin? Is it on HBO Max? What about Netflix? Here’s everything we know about the upcoming movie:
When Is Knock at the Cabin's Release Date?
Knock at the Cabin releases in US and UK theaters on February 3, 2023. It shares a fairly quiet release weekend with the comedy 80 for Brady.
The movie will debut exclusively in theaters, and it won’t be available to stream until at least 30 to 45 days after its release. As a Universal Pictures movie, it’s expected to land on the Peacock streaming platform.
Where to Watch Knock at the Cabin Online Free?
As of now, the only way to watch Knock at the Cabin is to head to a theater when it releases on Friday, Feb. 3. You can find a local showing on Fandango. Otherwise, you’ll just have to wait for it to become available to rent or buy on digital platforms like Vudu, Amazon, Apple and YouTube, or become available to stream on Peacock. Read on for more information.
Following its release in theaters, the film will be available to stream on Peacock. Expect the movie to hit the streamer 45 days after its theatrical run, which should be sometime in December.
Is Knock at the Cabin Releasing on Streaming or in Theaters?
In order to see what's in store for M. Night Shyamalan's newest feature and the twists and turns that lie within it, audiences will need to head to the movie theater to see it on the big screen when it premieres. Leonard and his band of would-be doomsday preventers will come knocking on the door of a theater near you starting Friday, February 3, 2023. No plans for a streaming release have been made known just yet, but given that Knock at the Cabin is a Universal Pictures production, it's likely that the film will be available on Peacock if and when the film makes its debut on streaming adding to the streamers already impressive catalog of horror films.
For those who don't have Peacock yet, there are two main subscription plans: Premium and Premium+ (the service is also technically available free with ads but typically newer releases require a paid subscription). Premium costs $4.99 USD per month and offers access to the entire Peacock catalog of movies and shows as well as select live television events with limited ads. Premium+ costs $9.99 USD per month and offers all the benefits of the less expensive tier but with no ads and the ability to download titles to watch offline.
Will Knock at the Cabin Be On Netflix?
No, Knock at the Cabin will not be available on Netflix — at least not anytime soon, since it will be heading straight to Peacock after its theatrical release. In the meantime, you’ll just have to wait for it to become available on the NBCUniversal-owned streaming platform.
Will Knock at the Cabin Be On HBO MAX?
No, Knock at the Cabin will not be on HBO Max since it’s not a Warner Bros. movie. While the company previously released its movies on HBO Max and in theaters on the same day, they have since stopped and have implemented a 45-day window between the theatrical release and streaming release.
Is Knock at the Cabin Available On Hulu?
Viewers are saying that they want to view the new thriller movie Knock at the Cabin on Hulu. Unfortunately, this is not possible since Hulu currently does not offer any of the free episodes of this series streaming at this time. It will be exclusive to the MTV channel, which you get by subscribing to cable or satellite TV services. You will not be able to watch it on Hulu or any other free streaming service.
When Will Knock at the Cabin Be On Peacock?
While a streaming release date has not yet been announced for Knock at the Cabin, we can estimate when it could head to Peacock based on another Universal Pictures movie.
Ticket to Paradise, which hit theaters on Oct. 21, became available to stream on Peacock on Dec. 9 — a little over 45 days after its theatrical release. If Knock at the Cabin follows the same pattern, it could make its way to the platform by late March. However, other movies like Nope took more than 100 days, so it’s best to take this estimate with a grain of salt.
Knock at the Cabin Cast
Knock at the Cabin was written by M. Night Shyamalan, Steve Desmond, and Michael Sherman. It was directed by M. Night Shyamalan and stars the following actors:

• Dave Bautista as Leonard
• Jonathan Groff as Eric
• Rupert Grint as Redmond
• Nikki Amuka-Bird as Sabrina
• Ben Aldridge as Andrew
• Kristen Cui as Wen
• Abby Quinm as Adriane

What's Knock at the Cabin About?
Knock at the Cabin is a new thriller movie from M. Night Shyamalan based on Paul Tremblay's novel The Cabin at the End of the World. Here's the official synopsis from Universal: While vacationing at a remote cabin, a young girl and her parents are taken hostage by four armed strangers who demand that the family make an unthinkable choice to avert the apocalypse. With limited access to the outside world, the family must decide what they believe before all is lost.

https://preview.redd.it/8s2i75lfc4qa1.png?width=1920&format=png&auto=webp&s=f88db197ff4b1b6cacf793c173b72bd828205b54

Equinox is a relaxed, no drama PvE-focused ARK space since 2017, where players can enjoy modest rates and quality of life improvements to the game, without sacrificing all sense of progression and making the game completely effortless.

Throughout the years many passionate breeders, creative builders and brave adventurers have passed through our community. We invite you to join our organized Discord server where you can find more info on our rules, settings, mods and plugins. Should you need any assistance, our helpful community can point you in the right direction. If you're new to the game, we encourage you to join!
Visit our website: https://www.EquinoxArk.com
Check us out on Discord: https://discord.gg/uKbeZGuUBJ
__________________________________________
Rates:
- 3x Experience - 4x Taming - 2x Harvest - 10x Breeding
__________________________________________
Clustered Servers:
- Fjordur - Crystal Isles - Ragnarok - Valguero - Svartalfheim
- Weekly DLC Server 1 - Weekly DLC Server 2
• These two servers rotate The Island, Scorched Earth, Aberration, Extinction, Gen 1 and Gen 2
__________________________________________
Features:
- Friendly and helpful community! - Dedicated hardware for a lagfree experience - Donation store for those who wish to support us - Base building competitions from time to time - Weekly map slots that rotates different DLCs every 7 days - Cloud based transfers as well as overflow, disconnect and crash dupe protection - Restricted items such as element, trophies and tributes are transferrable - Auto-decay plugin removes dinos/structures after 30 days of inactivity - Fast breeding rates, hatching rates — grow babies in soul balls with full imprints - A colorful cross-server chat experience with a private messaging system - Equalized wild dino levels to be on par with Ragnarok and Valguero
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Mods
Akka's Interior Decor Structures ARK Additions: The Collection ARK Nucleus Breedable Fenrir Awesome Spyglass Castle's Keeps & Forts: Remastered Death Helper Dino Storage v2 eco's Garden Decor HG Stack Mod 1000-50 Kraken's Better Dinos Lethal's Reusables MarniiMods: Hairstyles Nominal Structures 2.0 (N+) Paleo ARK: Legends Expansion S-Dino Variants Shiny! Dinos Swim Clear Scuba Mask Vegetation Planters

Equinox is a relaxed, no drama PvE-focused ARK space since 2017, where players can enjoy modest rates and quality of life improvements to the game, without sacrificing all sense of progression and making the game completely effortless.
Throughout the years many passionate breeders, creative builders and brave adventurers have passed through our community. We invite you to join our organized Discord server where you can find more info on our rules, settings, mods and plugins. Should you need any assistance, our helpful community can point you in the right direction. If you're new to the game, we encourage you to join!
Visit our website: https://www.EquinoxArk.com
Check us out on Discord: https://discord.gg/uKbeZGuUBJ
__________________________________________
Rates:
- 3x Experience - 4x Taming - 2x Harvest - 10x Breeding
__________________________________________
Clustered Servers:
- Fjordur - Crystal Isles - Ragnarok - Valguero - Svartalfheim
- Weekly DLC Server 1 - Weekly DLC Server 2
• These two servers rotate The Island, Scorched Earth, Aberration, Extinction, Gen 1 and Gen 2
__________________________________________
Features:
- Friendly and helpful community! - Dedicated hardware for a lagfree experience - Donation store for those who wish to support us - Base building competitions from time to time - Weekly map slots that rotates different DLCs every 7 days - Cloud based transfers as well as overflow, disconnect and crash dupe protection - Restricted items such as element, trophies and tributes are transferrable - Auto-decay plugin removes dinos/structures after 30 days of inactivity - Fast breeding rates, hatching rates — grow babies in soul balls with full imprints - A colorful cross-server chat experience with a private messaging system - Equalized wild dino levels to be on par with Ragnarok and Valguero
__________________________________________
Mods
Akka's Interior Decor Structures ARK Additions: The Collection ARK Nucleus Breedable Fenrir Awesome Spyglass Castle's Keeps & Forts: Remastered Death Helper Dino Storage v2 eco's Garden Decor HG Stack Mod 1000-50 Kraken's Better Dinos Lethal's Reusables MarniiMods: Hairstyles Nominal Structures 2.0 (N+) Paleo ARK: Legends Expansion S-Dino Variants Shiny! Dinos Swim Clear Scuba Mask Vegetation Planters

Okay, here’s my attempt at a NOP fanfic.
The Nature of Predators is made by u/SpacePaladin15
Just a few tidbits before we get started. I’m not sticking close to the cannon, so don’t be surprised when groups operate differently from their real NOP counterparts. I’m going for a “dark time line” kind of situation. There are going to be war crimes and lots of devil’s advocate nonsense, so this fanfic may rustle your jimmies. The start of this story takes place on Sillis and is only told from a single Arxur supply officer’s POV.
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Memory transcription subject: Varce, Cattleship Δ1242, Sillis
Date [standardized human time]: December 4, 2136
Finally… After mindlessly double checking and triple checking weapons and herbivore feed inventory it was time to get some fresh air. The raid itinerary had originally slated us to landfall 36 hours ago, but then a small human fleet lurched into our FTL disruptor grid. The grid was deployed with the intent to prevent prey ships from escaping, but hey, happy accidents.
I looked around the squad that I would be overseeing during prey extraction. Their faces ranged from agitated to giddy, all hungry. Starvation prior to deployment was standard practice for lower enlisted. It made them extra violent which was perfect for propaganda. Having a full relaxed Arxur on shift wouldn’t be near as terrifying for the pseudo-sapient snack bags.
Of course not all were starved, officers like myself needed to keep a cool head while procuring desperately needed food for the people of Wriss. It is my job, as one of the Dominion’s loyal servants, to ease the suffering of sapient lives throughout the known universe. I should clarify, that while I am somewhat defective, I’m not some delusional prey loving nut-job. I just care about sapients more that the average Arxur, that’s all.
The cargo doors of the craft hissed open as eye burning natural light entered the space. After I recovered from my temporary blindness, I barked out orders to my subordinates and began driving the refrigeration cart out of the ship. Its anti-gravity motors hummed as Arxur marched alongside it. Except for Tarth, lazy ass was perched on the cart’s lid with a ranged rifle shouldered. He says he does it to “be a lookout”, but we both know that’s bullshit. I let him get away with it though, what’s the point of having authority if you don’t use it to let your friend do stupid crap?
We had been dropped off at ground zero of a conventional bombing zone. Ruble from buildings with twisted bit of chitin sticking out covered the ground. Troops passed any worthwhile pieces to the cart for preservation. Eating of scraps was forbidden. It would spoil the squad's appetite prior to any engagements with the tilfish survivors. Thinking about the impending carnage reminded me to activate the 360’ camera fixed atop the cart’s driver compartment. Maybe some of my footage would go into one of the hunting compilations that gets forcibly broadcast onto the media channels the prey’s young watch. I let out a throaty chuckle thinking about the fearful cries one of those forsaken abominations would make.
Tarth looked over to me. “What’s so funny blubber tail? All that prime officer food finally melt your brain.”
“No just thinking about the prospect of one of our hunts being used for entertainment, now get back to work “look-out”.”
“Eh… I’m not too sure any footage is going to be used from this raid. None of the Gojid Cradle footage got used since the brass didn’t want Arxur to be associated with killing sapients.”
“...True. Well I’ll film this anyway, maybe it could be used as b-roll footage for future human engagement training.”
“I’d prefer we didn’t run into any humans boss-man”
I grimaced at the thought, the chatty Arxur had a point. I’ve never killed a sapient before. I had pushed the idea out of my head before, but it all came back to me. The whole reason Chief Hunter Shaza deployed 8000 of her ships to Sillis was to fight the humans, the tilfish were an afterthought in truth. I don’t really get why the humans were so keen on picking a fight with the Dominion. Chief Hunter Isif saved their entire species and in turn they started rattling a saber at Chief Hunter Shaza’s initial raiding group. Do they want to be at war with both the Federation AND the Dominion. Surely they understand that that would be a death sentence for such a small race with no backup colonies. It’s just so frustrating, we finally meet another sapient race and all they want to do is fight. We should be working together to wipe out the genocidal maniacs in the Federation.
“Hey Varce. Varce. Looks like that building over there is ripe for hunting. Just say the word.”
I perked up after being pulled from my dark thoughts. We were no longer surrounded by rubble and were at our first scheduled stop. A eugenics clinic that was likely filled with eggs that would top off the cart I brought along. I glanced at the life detection hardware built into the driver’s panel.
“Listen up. We’re here for the eggs in that building. It has 33 adult tilfish life signs inside. Don’t bother taking any of them alive, just put a hole in their heads and dump them in the cart. Eggs are our priority. EGGS. Don’t get too bite-y. There’s a bomb shelter down the road for that kind of behavior. Now get to it and make the Prophet proud!”
I stood by with Tarth and several auto-turret technicians as the rest of the squad swarmed all sides of the clinic. Per standard procedure, I had the techs set up an auto-turret for any surprise runaways. After a couple of minutes a tilfish on the second floor desperately crawled part way out of a window trying to escape. It fell to the ground after Tarth took out one of its weight bearing feet. The impact ruptured it chitin and it died shortly after. As Tarth began strolling over to retrieve the soon to be refrigerated carcass, several more tilfish landed on top of the now flattened meat pulp. Tarth threw himself to the ground as the auto-turrets made there tell-tell beeping noise. Now Tarth had to carry back three piles of meat pulp.
Tarth sat the meat piles down in front of the cart while laughing. “Prophet help me. My life just flashed before my eyes. That would’ve been such an underwhelming way to go. Thank the prophet I’m a master at dodging.”
“I wouldn’t exactly call collapsing to the ground in terror “masterful”, but yeah sure. At least your not dead. Now lets get this slop cleaned up and preserved.”
“Your just jealous of how awesome I looked. Also, that ankle shot I did was glorious. Admit it.”
Tarth went on stroking his ego for the next half hour as the cart was filled with delicious nutritious eggs and gooey bug parts. The cart’s driver panel indicated that we had gathered about 10,000LBS of food in total. A good haul so far, that would be enough to feed roughly a 140 Arxur for a week. I sent the cart back to the ship with an escort while everyone else headed to the nearby bomb shelter.
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Once we arrived at our next scheduled location, courtesy of garbage prey internet security, I had the auto-turret techs set up a perimeter around the shelter entrance. It’s not likely that someone would pull a fast one on us, but I’ve never been into gambling. While we waited for fresh empty carts to arrive, I went ahead and had the squad look around for any material to block up the bomb shelter’s ventilation ports.
After even more waiting, four refrigeration carts and some shelter cracking materials arrived. The plan for shelter cracking was tried and true. First, we would have a drill bore out a hole through the blast door. That would then rapidly be followed up with a flash bang to scare off anyone smart enough to shoot through the hole. This is then followed by several tear gas canisters and a smoke machine. The smoke would exit any ventilation ports and they would be subsequently sealed. After all that we then pump the place full of nitrous oxide, wait about 20 minutes, and breach the doors.
Often times there will be one or two prey smart enough to wear self-contained breathing apparatuses. For this reason, once the door is opened we send in something similar to what a human would refer to as a “Claymore Roomba”. About 20 seconds after activating the device I heard a loud BANG and sent in the initial breaching party. After the all clear, the carts and myself entered.
Oh no.
Near the entrance to shelter was what was left of four humans. SAPIENTS. I killed sapients. I gave the order. They are my responsibility. I’m effectively a murderer now. I know that it’s “war”, but still. That doesn't un-kill them.
I choked down my horror remembering what would happen if other Arxur saw me like this. I turned to Tarth. “Inspect these four for any useful equipment or identifying information. After that, bring it all to me”
I turned away and kept walking. I couldn’t look at their mutilated faces anymore, shards of clear poly-carbonate lodged in their skulls from the breathing mask they were wearing. Blackened blood peppering their bodies and surroundings. Those were someones kids, friends, lovers, and I took them away. I just destroyed families in one foul swoop.
I cleared my head as i walked into the auditorium filled with drowsy and unconscious tilfish. I ensured the cameras on all of the carts were on and gave the order. What came next was quite the sight.
The little abominations screeched and squealed as my squad tore into them. Ripping the young away from the dazed brood-mothers, tearing the monsters apart like they deserved. Loyal and dedicated soldiers finally filling their stomachs after days of hunger. This is what it’s all about. Bringing smiles to the faces of sapients. At this moment I could finally forget about the atrocity that happened to those four in the previous room. I started to salivate myself a little, I shouldn’t indulge though. This is a reward to the Arxur people, not me.
I cheerily hummed as the weak tilfish were tossed into the refrigeration carts. The cold would slow them down to nothing, but it wouldn’t kill them. Perfectly convenient for filling the cages back on the cattle ships. Watching over the cart’s weight readouts I guesstimated that this would be enough to feed about 680 Arxur for a week. It makes me so proud thinking about all the young wonderful Arxur that will get to enjoy these meals. How they’ll go to sleep with full bellies and grow strong. No deformations from malnutrition. Perfectly formed jaws with clean straight teeth. Unlike mine, jagged, crisscrossed, and malformed. I’ll make sure that they have better lives then me. It’s the least I could do.
These thoughts were short-lived unfortunately. Tarth approached me with a bag crafted from the same materials as the pelts the humans wear. I took it silently and he went off to go get his fill.
I dug through the “backpack” as I would later identify it. The pack contained weapons, ammo, and holopads. Turns out the holopads required biometerics, but Tarth was kind enough to attach the associated severed thumbs to each. I went through and altered the security preferences to myself on all of them and glossed through one’s photo album.
I knew what I was going to see, but I punished myself anyway. The dead human had a mate. Whether or not it was a temporary relationship, I don’t know. They had pictures of themselves standing in front of various earth locations. Monuments, beautiful scenes of nature you’d never see on a federation planet, relaxed on furniture with a furry quadrupedal predator. Things I’ve never seen in person and likely never will. I robbed the human of all of this.
I put away the holopad and steeled myself. If I was going to have a breakdown, it would be in my quarters.
I quietly waited for the final stages of the shelter raid to wrap up and began planning the next step of today’s festivities. The entire squad would escort the refrigeration carts back to the cattle ship and we would then exchange them for one refrigeration cart and two cargo carts. After that we would search a nearby tilfish military base for heavy munitions and any high value ship related equipment and materials.
--------------------------------
There was a bit of a delay at Cattleship Δ1242. The other squads were as successful as mine, so we had to wait for a refrigeration cart to be freed up. I took the opportunity to drop off the human pack in my room and check the current raid situation. Thankfully there weren’t any notable hiccups in the raid from a global perspective. The human FTL clusterfuck only shorted us a few ships and part of the fleet was in process with salvaging them for FTL drives, fuel, FTL disruptors, inertial dampeners, shield generators, and databases containing flight logs and encryption keys.
After the update, I reconvened with my squad and gave them a run down on the status of the raid. Tarth already hopped up onto the refrigeration cart before I even got to it. Lazy ass.
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We were still about a half mile out from our destination when Tarth perked up and swung his rifle around toward a concrete building. I trailed his the direction his rifle was pointing to see a rather peculiar sight. A white human pelt that was tied to a stick by the arms was being waved around. However, who was holding it was hiding behind part of the building.
Before I could say anything Tarth already sent a round through the pelt.
“OH SHIT. Uhh… Hey in human culture white flags are a universal symbol of “I give up. Please don’t shoot me” okay?”
My thoughts shot back to the four mutilated corpses I left back in the bomb shelter. Icy guilt crept down my back and left my tail with pins and needles. I sighed for a moment and waved Tarth to lower his gun.
“Alright human, come out slowly, we won’t shoot you.”
A fleshy claw-less hand poked out from the wall and waited.
I grumbled as the weak predator peaked out. “When I said slowly, I meant some time today. I have a schedule to keep.”
“Sorry. Was just taking it slow. Figured if someone with a hair trigger got any ideas, it’d be better to lose a hand than a life.”
The human was one of the paler variants. It had a smashed in muzzle like the rest of its kind. Not exactly what I’d call an apex predator, but I’d tolerate it. (It… He I think?) He carried two large green storage cylinders on his back and was wearing the standard blue helmet uniform. At his hip was a belt carrying various bobbles and oh that’s a gun.
“If your surrendering, why do you have a gun?”
“It’s for the crazy murder bugs with the flamethrowers. As long as you bunch are on the ball with killing them, you can have it.”
I grunted at Tarth and nodded him over to the human. He drew the sidearm from the humans holster and inspected it. Tarth being Tarth, then proceeded to start jabbing the human with the weapon gleefully. The human looked over to me pleadingly. He clearly wasn’t thrilled with having a gun poking into his gut.
I spoke up. “Tarth do you intend on wasting our time as well? Get over here. Human, you will stay within ten feet of him or me at all times. Don’t try to run off, I don’t need to explain what will happen if you try.”
“Understood”
Well, at least the human seems to be disciplined enough to not have an attitude.
Our procession continued as I introduced our first official human captive to Tarth and myself. The weaker “social predator” was just as chatty as my slightly defective friend to my disappointment. However, once the topic of our destination came up, my mercy started to pay off.
“You guys are going to the base? Yeah. Fuck that. Don’t go there. That place is an absolute shitstorm. Some empathetic dumb-asses started to let tilfish in so we could protect them from the scary Arxur. I naturally raided supply of their MREs and got the fuck out of there. Lo and behold, before I was even out the gate the tilfish started shooting and burning dudes. Never trust a fuckin’ bug.”
Tarth and I both chuckled at the idea of some empathetic prey lovers getting their comeuppance.
“Despite that, we are still going human. I was assigned to raid the base for goods and you already know where everything is. So try not to get shot or burned until after our objective is completed.”
The human looked dejected. “Well fuck… I should’ve stayed behind that wall. Are you absolutely sure you want to go there. All the functional ships evacuated early yesterday during your surprise attack on the planetary defenses.”
Tarth spoke up. ”Wasn’t much of a surprise really. Not even an hour into the assault and a human fleet of a thousand some odd ships popped in behind us.”
“The UN had an entire fleet show up within an hour of you guys arriving?
“Yes. Although it was pretty short lived. They disabled a few of our shields with some kind of bombs, but it really didn’t matter. We outnumbered them 8 to 1 and just threw a wall of plasma at them. Not a whole lot of defensive positions to be had out in space. Most of them tried to run, but we catapulted FTL disruptor buoys at them and burnt them all. I have no idea what their strategy was there.”
“...Cool. Good to know.”
“You should have seen it. Ships full of foolish humans turning into molten slag. Their corpses ejecting into space and bloating up from the vacuum. Some of them holding onto their pet prey. Maybe we’ll gather up the tasty prey carcasses later, the cold of space preserves meat nicely I hear. I swear I could hear the screams even in space. That’s what it’s like when weak predators try to pick fights with the Arxur. They weren’t smart like you, human.”
The human shut up after that. I suspect the thought of so many of his kin dying likely saddened him. To be fair, I would be too if those were my people. I mean, it sucks that so many sapients died, but I didn’t have a hand in it.
--------------------------------
The entrance to the base was finally in sight. Tarth and the human lounged on the top of the refrigeration cart despite the irritated side glances from the others in the squad. I could smell the stench of burnt flesh wafting towards us from somewhere deeper in the base. It served as a good confirmation that the human wasn’t feeding us bad intel.
I was looking over to the human pleased when gray blood splattered out from the back of his helmet. It took me a second to realize we were being shot at. It took another for me to order my squad to take cover behind the sturdy carts. I ordered the auto-turret techs to deploy their toys to protect our flanks and rear.
Tarth, the human’s corpse, and I all crouched together behind the refrigeration cart. I’d never seen a dead body convulse in such a weird way before, desperately pulling off its helmet and cursing… Wait. What? The air suddenly reeked of burnt hair and small wisp of smoke coming from the doffed helmet. Tarth gave the living corpse a weird look and shrugged. Questions later, not dying takes precedence.
Tarth and I ensured the aim assist in our rifles was toggled on and proceeded to dispense suppressive fire from behind the cart. Ideally, we could just point our weapons in our adversaries general direction and the rifle’s computer would do the hard part.
The human started panicking when a metal ball dropped next to us. He kicked the sphere away and started cursing in pain while holding his foot. No surprise there you moronic primate, those black leather foot coverings aren’t going to protect you when you punt a metal ball down the street. Wait... Did that ball just explode? Oh. Yeah. We got briefed on those things come to think of it. Good call monkey-man, your foot didn’t go bruised in vain.
As Tarth and I lowered ourselves back down to reload, we suddenly felt the smaller predator forcibly sandwich himself between us. He tightened himself into a tiny ball while wide eyed. I looked around our perimeter. There weren’t any hostile humans so what was his deal. Tarth’s breathing seized up as well, what the hell was going on?
Beep Beep.
It occurred to me at that moment the auto-turrets haven’t been updated to recognize any humans as friendly. I froze up and slowly looked at our flanks. Both turrets were pointing at us. I’ve never pissed myself before… But I got damn close.
The three of us just stayed there perfectly still for what felt like hours. It gave me enough time to think about many things in my life. All the things I haven’t done yet. I’ve never had the opportunity to sire my own clutch, the closest thing I have to a friend is a psycho that gravitates toward me because I’m the only one that tolerates his non-stop yapping, and how nice is it to finally feel the warmth of another pressed up against me. Holy crap what is wrong with me? Prophet, I’m sorry for being so defective. If you bail me out of this, I’ll do whatever you want, just give me a sign.
And the Prophet answered my prayer indeed. Some foolhardy humans finally went for our flanks and drew the ire of the auto-turrets away from us. As the BRRT of the turrets sounded off Tarth, being the absolute bastard that he is, dived away from us.
This left me and the human exposed to the turrets. My initial thought was to push the human over and dive away, so I pushed him over. As I readied myself to dive, I thought about those four in the shelter. How I robbed them of their lives and families. I just couldn't do that again. I can’t just pretend that it’s not my problem. The human’s eyes showed such sadness from that impending betrayal. So I dived, hoping that I’d be able to hide him from the sensors on the auto-turrets.
Luckily, he was still balled up so it wasn’t terribly difficult to cover him with my body. I never felt so exposed in my life, doing this. I just laid there thinking, waiting, and wondering if my empathy was about to come back to bite me in the ass. This was all so off putting, being this close to another person. I wanted nothing more than to get up and walk away. I could hear his breath and the light tensing of his body. This wasn’t something that really happens with Arxur.
Eventually, the sound of gunfire died down. I heard people milling about, the hiss of medical foam being applied, and the louder hiss of angry Arxur having gunshot wounds treated.
“Uh. Sir?” I heard the confused words of one of the auto-turret techs.
“No no no. Leave him be. Can’t you see our dear leader is in love. Although, that is the UGLIEST woman I’ve ever seen.”
I’ve never wanted to smack that annoying lazy ass more than at this moment.
I cleared my throat. “Solider, would you kindly deactivate the auto-turrets so our guide to the base doesn't get shredded by an angry machine.”
“Oh..? Yes. Right away sir.”
So I laid there, feeling a smug ass staring a hole into the back of my head. I recapped the events of the skirmish and lamented how I did so little. I only burned through one magazine with some sprayN’pray and that was it. Hell, the human saved a lot of our asses with that grenade save.
Speaking of the human. “Hey human? Why aren’t you dead? You just took a bullet to the head.”
“Uh. The helmets we wear are really good. They have this non-Newtonian fluid laced with perovskite crystals. Basically, the helmet is a fluid sack that hardens in response to physical trauma. It then converts kinetic energy into heat and electricity. These helmets can eat a .308 point blank. Only downsides are that they are one and done armors and that they’ll burn the shit out of you if they stay in contact too long.”
I’d never heard of such a thing before, but clearly it worked. I’ve seen prey attempt to use helmets with varying degrees of failure. Problem is, usually the brain gets shook around and they die anyway. I decided that this fluid would be beneficial to the Dominion.
I spoke up to get Tarth’s attention. “Tarth. Order anyone that isn’t busy to strip the human’s of their armor pelts and headgear. Place everything in the cargo cart next to the human’s green storage bags.”
Shortly after I gave out the order, the auto turret tech returned. “Varce sir. The auto-turrets have been deactivated.”
I Immediately popped up to separate myself from the smaller predator. Looking around it seems we had fared well enough against the ambush. Heh. Arxur being ambushed. Crazy times. We only lost 3 soldiers and have a handful of injuries. It could have been a lot worse. Even Tarth has some med foam sticking out of his arm. The Arxur bodies were being loaded into the refrigeration cart. We’d look into harvesting their organs for transplants later.
The human looked over the bodies of his fallen kin. I decided it would be appropriate to talk to him about their deaths. The bodies had been stripped as ordered, although it appears someone got overzealous and stripped one of them of all there pelts. Wow. That is super gross looking. It’s just like, dangling around on the outside. What happens if it gets caught on something? Does it just tear off and regenerate? That’s just downright terrible design.
Getting myself back on topic. I turned to the human and spoke up. “So… Did you know any of these humans?”
“Uh… Yeah. To be honest. They were fucking elitist assholes. Doesn’t mean I wanted them dead though. It’s just well... This is all a fucking mess. They did shoot me in the back of the head though. So it’s kind of hard to not feel schadenfreude about the whole thing… Can I get a new helmet? Mine’s kind of busted right now.”
“Go for it. There should be some next to your stuff in the cargo cart.”
“Thanks. I mean… As in thanks for everything. You saved my ass in a big way. Not a whole lot of people would of done that for me… So thank you... Yeah.”
--------------------------------
The inside of the base had seen better days. Some buildings had been destroyed either by the original raid or the human’s occupation. It also appeared that the exterminator’s fires got out of hand and had spread to the tent city the UN made for their troops. There were quite a few chard human bodies mixed in with the debris. I could certainly understand why the human had no desire to come back.
I got out of the refrigeration cart and announced to my squad. “Apply fire retardant measures. There may be exterminators in this base.”
My fellow Arxur and I pulled out small aerosol canisters and began dousing ourselves in the gelatinous contents. This substance would greatly reduce the flammability of the fuel the exterminators typically use, though the films covering us would oxidize and become useless after about 20 minutes. We needed to make a clean sweep of our travel path and secure the nearby maintenance hangar before then. I placed the spent canister back in my tail pouch and began driving again.
“So you’ve got one of those spray bottles for me, right?” The human looked over to me pleadingly. “Just sayin’. I’d like to not burn to death if at all possible.”
“Are you willing to strip naked and shave yourself?”
“What?”
“This stuff only works if it forms a solid layer on you. It won’t work on fur and pelts.”
“Shit… Can I have my gun back then?”
“No.”
We continued moving for about ten minutes per the human’s instructions. The intersection that would take us to our loot was finally in view. There were large industrial style buildings surrounding us from all sides. This was where minor ship parts like valves would be stored or milled out for ships. Lots of little doors and tight alleyways for the diminutive insectoids to scurry through. As such this was the perfect environment for exterminators to hide. I kept my eyes peeled for even the slightest movement.
My suspicions paid off immediately when I noticed some dumpsters that were conveniently lined up between two buildings. I know a barricade when I see one. I brought our caravan to a stop just out of weapons range of the prey’s fortifications. I checked the driver’s panel for life signs and smiled knowing my caution was justified.
I stood out of the drivers seat, silently motioning towards the dumpsters. Half of the squad formed up around the carts. The other half broke into groups and approached the dumpsters from multiple angles. My group consisted of Tarth, the human, and three other Arxur.
My group and I shouldered our rifles and began unloading into the dumpsters. The foolish prey actually thought they were going to get one over on us. In moments tilfish started scrambling, desperately spraying the flammable contents of their weapons in the air towards us. Most of it fell short with only a few stray droplets touching us. We stood back at a comfortable range as the last few bugs dropped to the ground bleeding out in a pool of their own accelerant. One of the little abominations used the last of its pathetic strength to immolate the remains of it group.
A burst of flame pushed towards us, showering us with embers and half burnt debris. Our groups backed away from the intense heat and rapidly pawed off any unwelcome remains of the explosion. Well, except for the human, his left forearm was very on fire. With a surprising level of calmness, my human pulled a water bottle from his belt and doused the flame away.
He looked over to me and grumbled. “I probably should of stayed at the carts.”
“Probably. How did you even get that much fuel on your arm?”
“I didn’t. These uniforms are made out of acrylic and cotton. Very flammable. The UN thought it would be a good idea to have us peace keep against guys who almost exclusively use fire. I have many words about the UN. None of them are nice.”
“At least you handled being on fire pretty well.”
“I’ve seen about twenty people get caught on fire in the past week. I know the drill. Also, I’m gonna need some medical attention for this by the end of the day.”
--------------------------------
Fantastic, we’ve arrive at the maintenance hangar the human recommended and what do we find? More barricades and a bunch of life signs. Maybe I shouldn’t complain. I might be able to top off all my carts in one go.
I ordered my squad to surround the structure just as I had with the eugenics clinic. Though I had to stop the auto-turret techs before they accidentally lit up my human. I quietly pondered how I was going access the hangar with minimal gunfire. I didn't want to run the risk of accidentally damaging a spare FTL drive or something. I ultimately landed on the idea of just ramming through the door with the cargo cart to draw attention and then have the squad flank the inhabitants.
As one of my troops lined up their cart with the doors a shaky human voice called out. “Wait! We have missile warheads rigged to blow if you try anything!”
My human looked over to me and motioned he was going to the door. I allowed him to do so.
“Hey Lee, is that you?” My human questioned. “How are you holding up?”
“Hall? What the hell are you doing with the space nazi crocs?” (Who the hell is Hall? Oh, okay, that’s my human’s name. I should probably remember that.)
“You know. Trying to not die. Things are all kinds of FUBAR right now.”
“Things get rough and you just bail? All we had to do is hold down the fort and wait for rescue. And what do you do? You immediately defect to them. They literally eat babies. You abandoned humanity.”
“Lee. A UN fleet jumped into system one hour after the Arxur arrived.”
“So they tried to save us and you decide to run off?”
“No no. How long would it take for a fleet going FTL to get here assuming a distress signal was sent out the second the Arxur arrived?”
“… Are you saying that they knew the Arxur were coming and didn’t give us a heads up? But…”
“Look man. You’ve got to make your own decisions, but from where I’m standing you really only have two choices. Either commit suicide by Arxur or walk away from what your doing and survive. The Arxur are going to eventually try to trade us to the UN. I intend on living.”
“But what about the tilfish? Are you seriously fine with them being cattle?”
“If you want to die for some bugs that burnt Clark alive two days ago, then that's your call. See you later… Or not.”
“Wait. Wait!”
My human didn’t respond. He just walked back over to me. After that brief exchange, he looked completely used up. It did help me to better understand his willingness to work with me though. All these humans planet side had effectively been left to die before we even arrived at Sillis. Most of them didn’t even know they were fighting for a government that withheld knowledge that could’ve saved them. They could have evacuated and saved so many sapient lives. So much for 5 humans for every 500 million xenos.
I waited long enough. It was time to crack this egg. As I gave the order to breach, I heard four consecutive gunshots come from the hangar. The cargo cart broke open the door and the side entrances were forced as well. I walked in behind the cargo cart and took stock of the situation. A somewhat tanned human was standing over three tilfish carcasses while brandishing its rifle towards a crowd of prey.
The human was seizing up saying. “Don’t move. I… I… I don’t want to die, okay! I… I’m sorry. It’s just that…”
The human trailed off murmuring nonsense. My human got his attention and led him out of the building. Given the degraded mental state of the disheveled human, that was probably best given what was going to happen next. I gave a quick look around, there was no “rigged warhead”, the “Lee” human had given us an empty threat.
The weak prey didn’t stand a chance as my fellow Arxur snatched them up, forcing them into the refrigeration cart. Shrill cries escaped the grotesque creature’s mouths as they were pressed against the Arxur bodies that were already in the cart. Perhaps more refrigeration carts should’ve been brought. The cart reached what was the “comfortable capacity” and there was still a third of the tilfish to go. So naturally, we just started pushing them in harder. Pops and cracks could be heard as chitin bent and broke from strain. Ear piercing noises echoed throughout the room as the little mindless bugs wailed. With one final push, we managed to load all of the bugs into the cart. The readout said we had collected about 18,200lbs of food. While the cart’s recommended weight limit had been exceeded, the thought of 250 Arxur getting to stave off starvation brought me so much joy.
I walked about the hangar inspecting all of the available loot. While I was disappointed by the lack of any FTL related equipment, there was however, an abundance of components for inertial dampeners and shields. My squad got to work loading up the two cargo carts as I went to check up on the two humans. I found them a short walk away from the hangar sitting together under a shade. The humans looked over to me when I approached them. Lee must have gotten more ill. His face was inflamed and red with looked to be signs of leaked fluid on his pelts. Wonderful. I’m going to have to take both of them to medical since this one is developing some kind of infection.
My human looked between Lee and me for a moment before speaking. “Lee. This is Varce. He is a supply officer on his ship and is currently in charge of retrieving ship parts from this base. Varce. This is Lee. He was in training to become an air force mechanic prior to being transferred to the UN to be cannon fodder.”
Seeing that Lee was hesitant to talk, I took the initiative. “Hello Lee, I’m Varce. We’ll be heading back to our ship here in a minute. I’ll run you guys by our doc and get you some acceptable sleeping quarters. As for food, we have two bags of human meals ready to eat available for you since you guys have certain dietary restrictions. Also, I’m going to need you to forfeit your firearms for now. Armed humans can be somewhat distressing for Arxur. I hope you understand.”
Lee glanced up to me. “Are we going to be traded back to the UN?”
“Yes. While the exact terms haven’t been decided yet. I’d hazard a guess that Chief Hunter Shaza will likely be trading you for artificial meat. We don’t eat people.”
The human scrunched up his face at that and handed over his weapons. The three of us then headed back to the carts so that we could depart. I did have to shoo Tarth off the overburdened refrigeration cart. He then started to try to pester the mentally unwell human. Luckily, my human lured him away before any harm could be inflicted.
--------------------------------
Once we had returned to Cattleship Δ1242, the humans and I fished out the MREs and armor from the cargo cart. We went to my room to deposit the goods and then headed towards doc. I may have made a miscalculation on my path unfortunately. We passed by the caging area that was established for any captured enemy humans. It already housed several residents. Lee began to panic thinking that I was going to be placing him in there.
I stopped him and explained. “No Lee, listen. That’s for humans that try to kill us. I’m going to be re-purposing a supply closet for you two. Okay? ...That sounds worse than it actually is. It’s a nice supply closet. I’ll get you some nesting materials.”
My human started snorting and chuckling uncontrollably. I wasn’t certain if it was me or Lee that caused this.
We paid doc a visit and got my human patched up. The other one’s swelling had reduced back down during the trip back to the ship.
We would be departing soon. The ship had collected everything that it could for the time being, so our next destination would be a cattle farm on an old thafki colony planet. I hoped that things could go smoothly with the temporary integration of two humans. I’m going to need them for the ungodly big pile of ship components I’m about to have to enter into Dominion inventory.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
That’s it for the time being. I’m not certain if I’ll do a follow up on this. This whole fanfic idea ended up happening thanks to Marcel’s magic helmet. I make no claim of being a decent write or proofreader. If you read this, it’s your own fault.

A sleeping angel statue was in the cornfield next to my house.
There was not only one but many, at least four others lain out in different surrounding farmlands. They had all appeared after the last tornado had dissipated. I had seen such things in churches and cemeteries, but never in our rural plains.
Places flattened after the disaster. The pharmacy and hardware store ended up as rubble.
The stone figures had intricate wings spread and their eyes closed in deep slumber. They seemed to be in pristine condition as if they had camped out and found a new place to call home. Their granite flesh did not have any smudge marks from the swirling detritus of days prior.
No one seemed to bother in wanting to know why they had shown up.
The only other person who seemed to care except for me was a girl who sat one desk removed in the same row in history class. Her name was Shauna Nolan.
Her red hair seemed to change different shades daily. I always wondered if she liked me, but I could never summon the bravery to ask.
All I knew about her were family details. Her Dad was an Alaskan fisherman. Her mother was a retired paralegal who had become a full-time housewife. Everything else about her was a grand mystery in my psyche, which made me even more interested in her.
“I don’t know why they’re here,” Shauna said. "Nobody's thinking about them. How is it not in the news? No one else finds it weird?”
The girl she spoke to seemed far more interested in filing her nails than the discussion.
“I do,” I said as she turned around to face me. “One is only a few hundred feet from my front door.”
“Have you touched them?” Shauna asked. “They’re warm. Mr. Shea, who runs the flea market, found one among his horses. I’ve heard rumors he tried to have it removed. Even with as wealthy as he is, he hasn’t had any luck getting it off his property.”
The teacher shushed us with a smack of his ruler on the board. We pretended to pay attention.
I caught up with her in the hallway after the bell rang.
“We should try to figure out how many there are around town,“ I said. “It might be good to find out if any are different from the others, or to see if there’s anything they have in common.”
“It could be an artist trying to show off their work,” she said with a shrug.
“As you said, no one else seems to find it strange how this happened besides us. Let’s check them out. Together.”
She stared at me with a blank expression for a second before she gave me a wry smile.
“Fine,” she said she turned around and proceeded to head past a row of lockers. “It’s been a while since I’ve taken a long walk anyways. Meet me outside of the machine factory at four tomorrow.”
*
Our dinner table was silent. My father cut into his steak. His grubby, diesel-stained fingers clutched the silverware. He had taken his uniform off. His undershirt still carried the smell of Armor All, mixed with his first lager of the evening.
Mother kept her head down as she ate. I picked the potato salad on the side of my plate without much of an appetite.
The TV was on in the living room with the volume turned down. The local news anchor reported on a robbery homicide. The crime had occurred at a Walgreens in Waterloo. It flashed to a local used car commercial. The salesman was a well-known con artist by the name of Hollohan. He looked like Abraham Lincoln if he had a flat-top haircut and wider eyes.
“Did anyone see the angels?” I asked.
“Agent provocateurs placed those damn religious pieces,“ my father said. He downed his piece of meat with a long swig of beer. “Damn government using diversion tactics to keep our eyes off of where they should be. Their eyes have to be cameras. Surveillance equipment is put there to see how many guns the locals are buying downtown. The fat cats at the top are more afraid of an uprising than we are of gas prices. Or it's all China."
He shook his head and closed his eyes before he took another sip: “I scare myself with how right I am sometimes.”
“It could be a college art show,” Mom said with a soft voice. “Young ones trying to get a bit of attention with their creativity. I’ve read about how those 3D printers are getting better all the time. Or he or she's an aspiring sculptor trying to get their name out there.”
“I didn’t ask for a differing opinion,” Dad said with a leering stare.
“I’m going to check all of them out tomorrow,” I said.
Silence ensued and the air grew thick. My old man looked at me with an impetuous glance. It was the type of expression I had seen countless times.
“You will not do that,” he said. “No son of mine is going to have a mark of the beast placed under his skin because he went too close to an enemy spy drone. That’s what they want, and I refuse to give our freedom to them. Do you understand, boy?”
“Fine,” I lied as I finished my meal.
Later in the night, he passed out on his recliner.
I stole a bag of screwdrivers and a multi-tool off of his work belt and buried them in the backyard out of spite. I did steal his Smith & Wesson blade. I placed it in my pocket with a sense of triumph.
*
Shauna and I met each other in the parking lot of the decrepit factory. The place had been a source of economic survival and despair in equal measures since the dust bowl.
She retrieved the tablet from her backpack, turned it on, and showed me the screen. It was a map of our region. The image had four different photo-shopped pinpoints at various sections of town.
“Have you eaten?” Shauna asked me with a serious gaze. “You should have something on your stomach before we begin. I have a feeling there are many more of them if the rumors of their whereabouts are true.”
“I’m good,” I said.
“Perfect. I also have electrolyte packets and crackers if you start to feel weak. Not a lot of boys around here who eat fast food every day can keep up with me on hikes like this.”
“Are you saying I’m fat?”
“You’re not, only that you’re far from my level. Let’s go.”
Throughout the rest of the evening, we found five more angel statues.
One was by a fountain that sat across from the hospital.
The second was behind the eye doctor’s office hidden by red oaks.
The third was near a blood donation center on the outskirts.
The fourth was two miles adjacent to the truck stop.
We ran our hands along each one and tried to determine if there were any anomalies within the build of each bust. We could not find any.
“We didn’t check by the railroad,” Shauna said.
We went there along a bike path covered in pollen. We came to another cornfield.
We strolled alongside it until we noticed a carved-out pathway. I suspected hoaxers of having attached boards to their feet to design it. Forming artificial crop circles was their favorite way to laugh at the media.
We came to an unspoken agreement to follow it. The width of the man-made trail was proportionate in its dimensions to the angels. By then the sun was lowering and the stars were making themselves known in the wide sky.
The maze zig-zagged. The rustling noises we made echoed in the stillness. We came to the end of the trail.
It led to a greater opening. A propped-up torch on a stone pillar illuminated everything within the clearing.
There were also a dozen or so people there, and they all wore brown cloaks. We were so silent that none of them noticed us. Shauna grabbed me by the arm and pushed me backward. We ducked for cover between stovers.
“Did you see that?” she asked.
I shook my head and she told me to get a better look. I inched out and gazed at the center of the space where the fire blazed. I could not believe what was happening as my body became paralyzed with fear.
The fifth angel statue was there, but its head was beneath an old Medieval-style guillotine. Its blade shimmered.
I recognized the man who held the raising rope.
It was Hollohan, the dullest used car salesman in the entire county, or so I thought. Pinned to the chest of his robe was a silver piece, and it glinted under the moonlight with the maiden. I squinted at it to make sure it was not a skull and crossbones. It was a clock with a hand at the top center. I still had an uneasy sensation in my stomach.
He let go of the cord and the blade dropped. The angel’s head tumbled.
Shauna muffled a scream at what she saw. A pool of black blood oozed from the opened neck.
Someone grabbed my hands and yanked them behind my back. I struggled and attempted to flee, but they threw me to the ground. I looked over and watched as Shauna yelled in terror.
Burly men placed zip ties on both of us and paraded us to the center of their gathering’s strange spectacle. Their uniforms reeked up close of sawdust, sweat, and fresh dewy grass.
Hollohan walked up to Shauna and kept his face only a millimeter away from her eyes. “Do you know who we are?” He stood and approached me after. “Did you two know whose ceremony you were interrupting?”
“No,” I said. “We didn’t do it on purpose, I swear.”
“My children were busy tending to a most significant ritual,” he said.
I wanted to tell him his followers did not look like anything but grown adults to me, but I chose to bite my tongue.
“We are the Ten Midnights. See, plebeians like you don’t know what we do. There are ten heavenly bodies. They look to the average person like a planet, within your sphere of existence. The tenth is not visible. In sacred cosmology, this is often labeled the Counter-earth. The average human eye cannot perceive it. It is full of monsters that we must kill at any cost. You two can be recruits, but only in return for a promise of silence. What you have seen here today must remain secret. We meet with one another ten times every month. We do this to control the beasts. Are you interested in helping us?”
I looked over at Shauna again. It was an effort to see if we should play along with such absurdity for the sake of survival.
“Yes,” Shauna answered. “We will, but please don’t hurt us.”
“Great,” he said with a cackle. “There are ten steps to killing the evil ones sent here from the different reality."
“So the angels are monsters?” I asked.
“Definitely. Though they have not done anything to harm us, they require killing. Our slayings must happen at midnight.”
“Okay,” I said, even though I contemplated how high he may have been at that moment. “Now that we’re briefed, can you take us out of these zip-ties?”
“Not yet,” he said as he walked over to Shauna and grabbed her hair. “First we need to make both of you a part of our group. The only way to do that is to make you feel the same pain we did when we joined.”
I plucked my fingers with the limited mobility I had into my back pocket and retrieved a knife.
I cut the ties and lunged at Hollohan. I grabbed him by the lapels and took him down with a foot sweep. As the men behind me rushed towards me, I cut Hollohan’s left cheek and stood with the blade at the ready.
They cowered. Due to the lack of pockets on their cloaks, it occurred to me they had only one weapon. It was the French beheading device.
“Anyone close to me will get it,” I said, feeling for a second like my Uncle who used to tell me about his time in the military.
I crouched and cut Shauna’s binding.
“Get them you damn weaklings,” Hollohan yelled as he stood.
Shauna kicked Hollohan’s knee and then landed another flat foot against the stone pillar. It moved and the torch collapsed.
The fallen dried cornstalks laid out by the wind all over the perimeter of the dirt circle went up in flames. I grabbed Shauna’s hand and we sprinted as one of the cult members yelled an agonized cry as the fire engulfed him.
We never returned to that area again.
*
A few weeks later, Shauna and I went to her room and played video games.
“You haven’t told anyone about what we went through,” Shauna said. “Right?”
“No,” I said.
I always heard about politicians within the community being in nefarious groups. We did not want to ruffle the feathers of anyone who could control the narrative.
“Do you think the angel got destroyed in the blaze?” I asked. “The fire spread fast. If the blood we saw draining from it could have been gasoline. Hollohan planned on killing everyone there that night. Crazy as he was, it wouldn’t surprise me.”
“The angels vanished,” she said. “No one's seen them since we left that field.”

A sleeping angel statue was in the cornfield next to my house.
There was not only one but many, at least four others lain out in different surrounding farmlands. They had all appeared after the last tornado had dissipated. I had seen such things in churches and cemeteries, but never in our rural plains.
Places flattened after the disaster. The pharmacy and hardware store ended up as rubble.
The stone figures had intricate wings spread and their eyes closed in deep slumber. They seemed to be in pristine condition as if they had camped out and found a new place to call home. Their granite flesh did not have any smudge marks from the swirling detritus of days prior.
No one seemed to bother in wanting to know why they had shown up.
The only other person who seemed to care except for me was a girl who sat one desk removed in the same row in history class. Her name was Shauna Nolan.
Her red hair seemed to change different shades daily. I always wondered if she liked me, but I could never summon the bravery to ask.
All I knew about her were family details. Her Dad was an Alaskan fisherman. Her mother was a retired paralegal who had become a full-time housewife. Everything else about her was a grand mystery in my psyche, which made me even more interested in her.
“I don’t know why they’re here,” Shauna said. "Nobody's thinking about them. How is it not in the news? No one else finds it weird?”
The girl she spoke to seemed far more interested in filing her nails than the discussion.
“I do,” I said as she turned around to face me. “One is only a few hundred feet from my front door.”
“Have you touched them?” Shauna asked. “They’re warm. Mr. Shea, who runs the flea market, found one among his horses. I’ve heard rumors he tried to have it removed. Even with as wealthy as he is, he hasn’t had any luck getting it off his property.”
The teacher shushed us with a smack of his ruler on the board. We pretended to pay attention.
I caught up with her in the hallway after the bell rang.
“We should try to figure out how many there are around town,“ I said. “It might be good to find out if any are different from the others, or to see if there’s anything they have in common.”
“It could be an artist trying to show off their work,” she said with a shrug.
“As you said, no one else seems to find it strange how this happened besides us. Let’s check them out. Together.”
She stared at me with a blank expression for a second before she gave me a wry smile.
“Fine,” she said she turned around and proceeded to head past a row of lockers. “It’s been a while since I’ve taken a long walk anyways. Meet me outside of the machine factory at four tomorrow.”
*
Our dinner table was silent. My father cut into his steak. His grubby, diesel-stained fingers clutched the silverware. He had taken his uniform off. His undershirt still carried the smell of Armor All, mixed with his first lager of the evening.
Mother kept her head down as she ate. I picked the potato salad on the side of my plate without much of an appetite.
The TV was on in the living room with the volume turned down. The local news anchor reported on a robbery homicide. The crime had occurred at a Walgreens in Waterloo. It flashed to a local used car commercial. The salesman was a well-known con artist by the name of Hollohan. He looked like Abraham Lincoln if he had a flat-top haircut and wider eyes.
“Did anyone see the angels?” I asked.
“Agent provocateurs placed those damn religious pieces,“ my father said. He downed his piece of meat with a long swig of beer. “Damn government using diversion tactics to keep our eyes off of where they should be. Their eyes have to be cameras. Surveillance equipment is put there to see how many guns the locals are buying downtown. The fat cats at the top are more afraid of an uprising than we are of gas prices. Or it's all China."
He shook his head and closed his eyes before he took another sip: “I scare myself with how right I am sometimes.”
“It could be a college art show,” Mom said with a soft voice. “Young ones trying to get a bit of attention with their creativity. I’ve read about how those 3D printers are getting better all the time. Or he or she's an aspiring sculptor trying to get their name out there.”
“I didn’t ask for a differing opinion,” Dad said with a leering stare.
“I’m going to check all of them out tomorrow,” I said.
Silence ensued and the air grew thick. My old man looked at me with an impetuous glance. It was the type of expression I had seen countless times.
“You will not do that,” he said. “No son of mine is going to have a mark of the beast placed under his skin because he went too close to an enemy spy drone. That’s what they want, and I refuse to give our freedom to them. Do you understand, boy?”
“Fine,” I lied as I finished my meal.
Later in the night, he passed out on his recliner.
I stole a bag of screwdrivers and a multi-tool off of his work belt and buried them in the backyard out of spite. I did steal his Smith & Wesson blade. I placed it in my pocket with a sense of triumph.
*
Shauna and I met each other in the parking lot of the decrepit factory. The place had been a source of economic survival and despair in equal measures since the dust bowl.
She retrieved the tablet from her backpack, turned it on, and showed me the screen. It was a map of our region. The image had four different photo-shopped pinpoints at various sections of town.
“Have you eaten?” Shauna asked me with a serious gaze. “You should have something on your stomach before we begin. I have a feeling there are many more of them if the rumors of their whereabouts are true.”
“I’m good,” I said.
“Perfect. I also have electrolyte packets and crackers if you start to feel weak. Not a lot of boys around here who eat fast food every day can keep up with me on hikes like this.”
“Are you saying I’m fat?”
“You’re not, only that you’re far from my level. Let’s go.”
Throughout the rest of the evening, we found five more angel statues.
One was by a fountain that sat across from the hospital.
The second was behind the eye doctor’s office hidden by red oaks.
The third was near a blood donation center on the outskirts.
The fourth was two miles adjacent to the truck stop.
We ran our hands along each one and tried to determine if there were any anomalies within the build of each bust. We could not find any.
“We didn’t check by the railroad,” Shauna said.
We went there along a bike path covered in pollen. We came to another cornfield.
We strolled alongside it until we noticed a carved-out pathway. I suspected hoaxers of having attached boards to their feet to design it. Forming artificial crop circles was their favorite way to laugh at the media.
We came to an unspoken agreement to follow it. The width of the man-made trail was proportionate in its dimensions to the angels. By then the sun was lowering and the stars were making themselves known in the wide sky.
The maze zig-zagged. The rustling noises we made echoed in the stillness. We came to the end of the trail.
It led to a greater opening. A propped-up torch on a stone pillar illuminated everything within the clearing.
There were also a dozen or so people there, and they all wore brown cloaks. We were so silent that none of them noticed us. Shauna grabbed me by the arm and pushed me backward. We ducked for cover between stovers.
“Did you see that?” she asked.
I shook my head and she told me to get a better look. I inched out and gazed at the center of the space where the fire blazed. I could not believe what was happening as my body became paralyzed with fear.
The fifth angel statue was there, but its head was beneath an old Medieval-style guillotine. Its blade shimmered.
I recognized the man who held the raising rope.
It was Hollohan, the dullest used car salesman in the entire county, or so I thought. Pinned to the chest of his robe was a silver piece, and it glinted under the moonlight with the maiden. I squinted at it to make sure it was not a skull and crossbones. It was a clock with a hand at the top center. I still had an uneasy sensation in my stomach.
He let go of the cord and the blade dropped. The angel’s head tumbled.
Shauna muffled a scream at what she saw. A pool of black blood oozed from the opened neck.
Someone grabbed my hands and yanked them behind my back. I struggled and attempted to flee, but they threw me to the ground. I looked over and watched as Shauna yelled in terror.
Burly men placed zip ties on both of us and paraded us to the center of their gathering’s strange spectacle. Their uniforms reeked up close of sawdust, sweat, and fresh dewy grass.
Hollohan walked up to Shauna and kept his face only a millimeter away from her eyes. “Do you know who we are?” He stood and approached me after. “Did you two know whose ceremony you were interrupting?”
“No,” I said. “We didn’t do it on purpose, I swear.”
“My children were busy tending to a most significant ritual,” he said.
I wanted to tell him his followers did not look like anything but grown adults to me, but I chose to bite my tongue.
“We are the Ten Midnights. See, plebeians like you don’t know what we do. There are ten heavenly bodies. They look to the average person like a planet, within your sphere of existence. The tenth is not visible. In sacred cosmology, this is often labeled the Counter-earth. The average human eye cannot perceive it. It is full of monsters that we must kill at any cost. You two can be recruits, but only in return for a promise of silence. What you have seen here today must remain secret. We meet with one another ten times every month. We do this to control the beasts. Are you interested in helping us?”
I looked over at Shauna again. It was an effort to see if we should play along with such absurdity for the sake of survival.
“Yes,” Shauna answered. “We will, but please don’t hurt us.”
“Great,” he said with a cackle. “There are ten steps to killing the evil ones sent here from the different reality."
“So the angels are monsters?” I asked.
“Definitely. Though they have not done anything to harm us, they require killing. Our slayings must happen at midnight.”
“Okay,” I said, even though I contemplated how high he may have been at that moment. “Now that we’re briefed, can you take us out of these zip-ties?”
“Not yet,” he said as he walked over to Shauna and grabbed her hair. “First we need to make both of you a part of our group. The only way to do that is to make you feel the same pain we did when we joined.”
I plucked my fingers with the limited mobility I had into my back pocket and retrieved a knife.
I cut the ties and lunged at Hollohan. I grabbed him by the lapels and took him down with a foot sweep. As the men behind me rushed towards me, I cut Hollohan’s left cheek and stood with the blade at the ready.
They cowered. Due to the lack of pockets on their cloaks, it occurred to me they had only one weapon. It was the French beheading device.
“Anyone close to me will get it,” I said, feeling for a second like my Uncle who used to tell me about his time in the military.
I crouched and cut Shauna’s binding.
“Get them you damn weaklings,” Hollohan yelled as he stood.
Shauna kicked Hollohan’s knee and then landed another flat foot against the stone pillar. It moved and the torch collapsed.
The fallen dried cornstalks laid out by the wind all over the perimeter of the dirt circle went up in flames. I grabbed Shauna’s hand and we sprinted as one of the cult members yelled an agonized cry as the fire engulfed him.
We never returned to that area again.
*
A few weeks later, Shauna and I went to her room and played video games.
“You haven’t told anyone about what we went through,” Shauna said. “Right?”
“No,” I said.
I always heard about politicians within the community being in nefarious groups. We did not want to ruffle the feathers of anyone who could control the narrative.
“Do you think the angel got destroyed in the blaze?” I asked. “The fire spread fast. If the blood we saw draining from it could have been gasoline. Hollohan planned on killing everyone there that night. Crazy as he was, it wouldn’t surprise me.”
“The angels vanished,” she said. “No one's seen them since we left that field.”

PSN ID: Mega_Prime7 Discord: rsthoops#7839
I’m a friendly PS5 gamer that primarily enjoys Grand Theft Auto Online, Fortnite, Call of Duty Modern Warfare II, Call of Duty Vanguard, MultiVersus, Red Dead Online, Ghost of Tsushima Legends, Call of Duty Modern Warfare [2019] // Warzone, NBA2K22 & NBA2K21, FIFA 22, Destiny 2, ARK: Survival Evolved, Call of Duty WWII, Splitgate, Knockout City, Plants vs. Zombies: Battle for Neighborville, MLB The Show 21, Rainbow Six Siege, For Honor, Dead by Daylight, Fall Guys: Ultimate Knockout, The Last of Us 2 & The Last of Us Remastered, The Division 2, Battlefield 5 & 1, Star Wars Battlefront 2, Watch Dogs 2, Rocket League, Apex Legends, Call of Duty Black Ops 4 & 3 (only zombies pretty much though I’ve encountered multiplayer), Friday The 13th, Brawlhalla, etc. In addition, I have plenty of other physical disc games (PS5/PS4) as well as quite a bunch of digital titles stored in my PSN library (I got about around 140 total overall games) we can participate in that I’ve experienced before [there are some titles I have not quite explored into great detail yet].
If interested, you may direct message me here on Reddit: I preferably consideseek to add individuals aged 22 and older. I do have a mic headset in order for us to party chat or we can just connect via Discord/PlayStation Messages. With regard to gaming time, I’m more frequently active on weekends and generally online occasionally on certain weekdays.

PSN ID: Mega_Prime7 Discord: rsthoops#7839
I’m a friendly PS5 gamer that primarily enjoys Grand Theft Auto Online, Fortnite, Call of Duty Modern Warfare II, Call of Duty Vanguard, MultiVersus, Red Dead Online, Ghost of Tsushima Legends, Call of Duty Modern Warfare [2019] // Warzone, NBA2K22 & NBA2K21, FIFA 22, Destiny 2, ARK: Survival Evolved, Call of Duty WWII, Splitgate, Knockout City, Plants vs. Zombies: Battle for Neighborville, MLB The Show 21, Rainbow Six Siege, For Honor, Dead by Daylight, Fall Guys: Ultimate Knockout, The Last of Us 2 & The Last of Us Remastered, The Division 2, Battlefield 5 & 1, Star Wars Battlefront 2, Watch Dogs 2, Rocket League, Apex Legends, Call of Duty Black Ops 4 & 3 (only zombies pretty much though I’ve encountered multiplayer), Friday The 13th, Brawlhalla, etc. In addition, I have plenty of other physical disc games (PS5/PS4) as well as quite a bunch of digital titles stored in my PSN library (I got about around 140 total overall games) we can participate in that I’ve experienced before [there are some titles I have not quite explored into great detail yet].
If interested, you may direct message me here on Reddit: I preferably consideseek to add individuals aged 22 and older. I do have a mic headset in order for us to party chat or we can just connect via Discord/PlayStation Messages. With regard to gaming time, I’m more frequently active on weekends and generally online occasionally on certain weekdays.

PSN ID: Mega_Prime7 Discord: rsthoops#7839
I’m a friendly PS5 gamer that primarily enjoys Grand Theft Auto Online, Fortnite, Call of Duty Modern Warfare II, Call of Duty Vanguard, MultiVersus, Red Dead Online, Ghost of Tsushima Legends, Call of Duty Modern Warfare [2019] // Warzone, NBA2K22 & NBA2K21, FIFA 22, Destiny 2, ARK: Survival Evolved, Call of Duty WWII, Splitgate, Knockout City, Plants vs. Zombies: Battle for Neighborville, MLB The Show 21, Rainbow Six Siege, For Honor, Dead by Daylight, Fall Guys: Ultimate Knockout, The Last of Us 2 & The Last of Us Remastered, The Division 2, Battlefield 5 & 1, Star Wars Battlefront 2, Watch Dogs 2, Rocket League, Apex Legends, Call of Duty Black Ops 4 & 3 (only zombies pretty much though I’ve encountered multiplayer), Friday The 13th, Brawlhalla, etc. In addition, I have plenty of other physical disc games (PS5/PS4) as well as quite a bunch of digital titles stored in my PSN library (I got about around 140 total overall games) we can participate in that I’ve experienced before [there are some titles I have not quite explored into great detail yet].
If interested, you may direct message me here on Reddit: I preferably consideseek to add individuals aged 22 and older. I do have a mic headset in order for us to party chat or we can just connect via Discord/PlayStation Messages. With regard to gaming time, I’m more frequently active on weekends and generally online occasionally on certain weekdays.