It's so hard to meet the right guys nowadays. I've joined all the dating apps and every once in a while I'll meet a guy who I click with. It's not hard to get a booty call guy, but it's the really deep guys I search out. The guys who want more than just a one night stand, who know how to really treat a woman with disrespect and misogyny.
I've always had a thing for the "bad" guys. I'm a relatively powerful woman and because as a woman surgeon everyone basically walks on eggshells around me, and that makes it hard to find guys who don't act like I'm the queen bee. I'm a damn good surgeon and they all want me on "their side" when their patients need care. Dating a guy who will give me a little disrespect and a lewd smack on the ass gives me a thrill I just can't pass up. Finding the guy with just the right amount of "jerk" under his belt is such a turn on. I can't get enough of them. Often with large trucks, larger muscles and brains the size of a misshaped walnut is the type that drives me wild.
Giovanni rolled up to pick me up all swagger and bravado, and when I saw him on the first date it made me hopeful I had finally found the one. He thinks he's such badass boy, but I really give him a run for his money. He's excited that I'm a damn good cook as well as looking damn good, if a little on the heavier side (which he's pointed out to me a few times in a crass way that really gets my motor going). I've prepared a really nice meal for our third date tonight, after all the third date is always the special one if you know what I mean wink. He eats like the barbarian he thinks he are, belching without excuse and assuring me that he'll help me "work off" the gourmet meal I've cooked for us after. When he ate the creme brulee before I could even properly torch the top of his because "the only thing I should light on fire is his junk" I rolled my eyes politely while thinking to myself he has no idea how very right he is.
You see, I know for a fact Giovanni is a womanizer and a horrible man. I helped put back together the little girl his ex left him with after he beat her nearly to death. I'm a damn good surgeon and a more than passable chef, and now that I've properly drugged him, he's going to be the main entree in my next exquisite meal for the next d-bag that thinks brutalizing women and children is a fun sport. Bon appetit motherfucker.

It's been a week since I wrote on what happened to me during my junior year in DSA. The New York City trip has increased the chance of happening. The itinerary has already showed up in our hands and currently, we have three songs, which means there are three left. As I read the itinerary myself, the trip will last for 5 days. The schedule has most likely been set: The attractions we're going to see, the rehearsal times (Literally, it lasts for 4 hours), the hotel, and the meals.
However, I did say the likeliness of that happening is high but never zero. The only two things that we need to worry about is the cost and the strict schedule we have for April and May.
The cost, I've believed it's already been set. I don't think it's a problem for "us" right now. Each of us has to pay $2000. Luckily for me, I already paid more than half; just a few more hundred dollars and I'll be fine.
As for the strict schedule, it turns out that we have fewer than 30 days to go over all the songs that we'll be performing in Carnegie Hall. In addition, other songs for our Spring concert in May. A Very Aggressive Schedule. I know that we, DSA Singers, have never had a situation like this before. But I'm pretty confident to say that we can do this. All we need to do is to rehearse these songs in class and at home. I can definitely do that. Weekdays, Weekends, Exam days, even a few days in Summer Break before the trip can start.
If something good or bad happens in the near future, I'll keep writing about it.

What's up with properties completely disappearing from House Sigma?
There's a house near me that sold a few years back. The previous sale was on House Sigma. It just sold again a few days ago. That listing was on House Sigma while it was on the market, as well as the previous sales history. There is a 'Sold' sign on the lawn as I'm typing this so it's definitely sold again.
I just looked on House Sigma. Every bit of data about that property has now disappeared. Everything. There is no evidence at all on House Sigma that this property was ever even on the market let alone sold twice in the last few years.
What gives? Is this a deliberate scrubbing of the property for some reason or is something else happening?

A couple weeks ago when I was lying down, I took a deep breath and felt a series of cracks in my throat. It wasn’t painful, but it left me with some mild difficulty swallowing things. The first thing I noticed was that my throat muscles didn’t seem as strong as before, and sometimes there would be a click when swallowing. In addition, the area near my voice box felt tight and would sometimes crack if I hummed or talked in a deep voice.
Fast forward to today, I had a laryngoscope and barium esophageal, both of which came back normal. The ENT said it was my hyoid bone that was causing my issues and he said to take anti inflammatory meds. I still have some questions, so I’m going to try to see another doctor who can see what is going on. In the meantime, I am quite anxious as I don’t know what is going on, and I’m worried I will have to deal with this for the rest of my life.

7th Moon, 200 AC
“Good, you’re doing good.”
Igrin stroked the hair of the young girl, her face strained as she sat on the birthing stool, her knuckles bleeding white as she gripped the rope to steady herself. She had a tea Igrin had made her to help with the pain of childbirth, but it could not stop it all.
The midwife waited, knelt between her legs, whispering soothing words, the stone wrapped around one thigh—blessed by the gods of Thenn, to bring her good luck and a healthy babe.
And the first cry burst forth, a loud wail as the child cried out. She reached out, guiding the process as it slipped forth into the world.
“A good cry,” she praised the mother, “Healthy lungs.”
She cleaned the baby, swaddling it as the mother recovered, sweat down her brow as her own mother and sisters and friends surrounded her, getting her onto the bed and cleaning her up.
Igrin looked down at the baby—a child of the Magnar, but who would not his place.
“A baby girl,” she whispered, cradling her, a smile spreading across her face, “You have a baby girl.”
The girl cried and wailed so loudly it nearly shook the room, “She’s going to be a strong one.”
She passed her off to the wife of the Magnar, and went to tell her god-king the good news.
Nine children she had delivered of his blood. Countless others across the time, nearly every baby in Thenn born in the last years, had been delivered by her hands. She had been the very first to hold them, to hear their cries, to nurse and care for them, checking in on every major milestone. Their first steps, their first words. She once said she had hundreds of children, as she cared for each other them so dearly.
And tonight, she watched them all die.
Nothing could stand against the Dead, Thenn had been preparing for war, but it came too late. Everything had been a blur, the smell of smoke, the screams in the streets.
Igrin grabbed her axes, finding Kayah, finding Jenny—where was she? Where was her baby girl?
Kayah held a screaming Barodyr, her son, tightly in her arms as they fled.
“Go!” Igrin yelled, “Get as many out as you can, making for the river, I’ll meet you there.”
“I’m not leaving without you,” she pleaded.
Igrin wrenched her arm out of her grasp, and ran back to her village, the only home she had ever truly home. The home where she had married her husband, where she had raised her children, her children. Her own blood and every other. Barodyr’s toys were still strewn about the floor of her longhouse as it burned.
She evacuated as many as she could, hearing the sounds of the fighting.
“Where is the Magnar?” she demanded as she ran through the fray, “Where is he?”
No one had an answer, they pushed past each other in attempt to escape as Igrin pushed against the tide.
She needed to be with him, to fight at her side. The man she had known all her life, she had to get him out.
In the midst of the fire, she saw a circle of Wyringr, the seers, the god-chosen. They held hands in prayer and made no attempt to leave, under their sacred trees where the bodies of the Crow hung.
“Get out,” she grabbed their shoulder, “Flee while you still can!”
They did not listen. They chose to die at home with the gods. Perhaps she would have too—but Jenny was still out there, Arvir was still out there.
And she saw them—a chill wracked through her body, and she nearly dopped her axes and let them take her.
Glowing eyes in the dark, she couldn’t see much through the smoke and flames and chaos. The walking dead, frozen corpses come to feast. Her throat tightened, she couldn’t breath—she hacked and coughed from the flames, trying to get to the Magnar’s longhouse.
“It’s overrun,” someone yelled, she didn’t know who, and they grabbed her arm, pulling her back, “He’s gone. He’s gone.”
Igrin turned and fled.
Something was behind her, she daren’t look as she pounded through the rocks and snow. She wasn’t spry as she once was, age catching up on her. She turned, bronze axe gleaming with the reflection of the flames. A heavy crack rang through the air as she slammed the axe into the neck of the creature. It did not cut through—there was no blood.
Dropping the axe, she fled as fast as she could, jumping through the flames.
The old man—he said that they could die. That he had seen them before, before his eyes gave out.
Living dead things. Cold and beautiful. They steal much and more from us. They die though. They die when the North burns.
Thenn burned now, plumes of smoke rising a hundred feet or more into the freezing air. It was a chill beyond anything she had felt before, threatened to root her in place.
Gathering as many survivors as she could, she led the charge out of the city as they swarmed in, not knowing who was there, who had survived—if Kayah had, if Jenny had.
They did not stop running until Thenn was only ash and smoke in the distance, her lungs burning.
Kayah was there—she had found her, she was waiting. She grabbed her face and held her.
They had been travelling for days without stopping.
Igrin had took the command, the Magnar dead. Their gods had abandoned them, left them to die. Or they had sent these Others, as punishment. For what, she did not know. She thought of the Crows hanging from the trees, bodies decaying and rotting for all to see.
But she knew the Crows. She knew of one Crow, the man she had taken as husband, the man who’s blood ran through her children. Crowtown—the place he had served, and the place he had last been seen.
Her eyes stung from the icy winds as she began to march.
200 or so survivors, she hadn’t had the time to count them all. Women, children, old men, some fighters but not many. Most had gone out defending their home. She had tried to treat injures best she could, but they could not stop and rest.
The dead did not sleep, neither would they.
Raknargr had come for them. The White Death. She only hoped the Magnar was feasting in the halls of glory among the gods but—she thought of those creatures, the demons of ice. Bloated and beautiful and terrible. Had they claimed everything? Destroyed it all?
Igrin marched on, even as cries started in the group. They needed food, water, rest. But they couldn’t, not now.
“We march on,” she barked, voice ringing out over the icy fields they travelled, “We cannot stop. To stop is to die, and I will not be giving up on you.”
The food rations ran out quick, unable to take much, and most of it destroyed in the fires. Fights broke out because of it, 2 more falling dead.
“Enough!” she had yelled, commanding them to listen, even if they would not, she would make them, “We only have each other. There is us, and there is them. We must work as one. Otherwise we will never survive.”
She had been an important member of Thenn for a great many years, but never as a commander. She was a healer, the midwife who helped bear their children, nothing more. But a leader she had to be, now. There was no one left.
Kayah led a hunting party to scout ahead, the ones fleet of foot.
“Do not leave me,” Igrin begged her, “What if they come for you?”
“If I do not go, and get food for our people, I will never forgive myself. Better to try,” she insisted, and went off.
They moved slowly, at the pace of their youngest and eldest. A wailing toddler would cost them the noise in the night, but Igrin figured that if the White Death was close enough to hear, there was nothing they could do to stop it.
Starving, weary, dehydrated, she pushed through the snow, using a large wooden stick to clear a path and brace herself. She had injured her leg while fleeing, and it didn’t feel right. She needed to rest it, but she didn’t have time.
Jenny stayed by her mother’s side, silent the whole way through.
“Arvir will join us again,” Igrin assured her, “Him and the Antlers. We must warn them, tell them all. The White Death has come, and none can stand against it.”
In the cold night sky, the stars guided her path, knowing these lands well. An aurora borealis lit up, dancing over the mountains, back to the Valley of Thenn. The souls of the dead.
It was cold and beautiful—and a warning. That death will come for them all.

Basically, I’ve tried on some new clothes, they’re the exact same size as what I usually wear, I’ve not grown or anything, but when I tried them on I felt as if they didn’t fit me. Like I wasn’t wearing them right or something. I’ve never felt like this before towards my clothes, I’ve always thought they looked fine on me, but not now. To be very clear, I’m closeted, and these are masc clothes and obviously I’d rather be wearing fem clothes but I’ve always felt like that, that’s not new. What’s weird is that now I’m looking at what I wear all the time and now it looks off.
Is this like dysphoria getting worse or am I overlooking things? Also if I don’t respond until later, sorry I’ve fallen asleep lol it’s nearly 2am for me.

It's been a week since I wrote on what happened to me during my junior year in DSA. The New York City trip has increased the chance of happening. The itinerary has already showed up in our hands and currently, we have three songs, which means there are three left. As I read the itinerary myself, the trip will last for 5 days. The schedule has most likely been set: The attractions we're going to see, the rehearsal times (Literally, it lasts for 4 hours), the hotel, and the meals.
However, I did say the likeliness of that happening is high but never zero. The only two things that we need to worry about is the cost and the strict schedule we have for April and May.
The cost, I've believed it's already been set. I don't think it's a problem for "us" right now. Each of us has to pay $2000. Luckily for me, I already paid more than half; just a few more hundred dollars and I'll be fine.
As for the strict schedule, it turns out that we have fewer than 30 days to go over all the songs that we'll be performing in Carnegie Hall. In addition, other songs for our Spring concert in May. A Very Aggressive Schedule. I know that we, DSA Singers, have never had a situation like this before. But I'm pretty confident to say that we can do this. All we need to do is to rehearse these songs in class and at home. I can definitely do that. Weekdays, Weekends, Exam days, even a few days in Summer Break before the trip can start.
If something good or bad happens in the near future, I'll keep writing about it.

There's nothing more infuriating to me in the world of fiction than a lack consequence. Sometimes, otherwise enjoyable stories are bogged down by the most horrendous, remorseless, vile, or suicidally stupid pieces of shit completely escaping punishment. I'd like to list a few examples before I elaborate further:
Futurama: A classic I find difficult to revisit due to the sheer frequency with which this trope rears its ugly head. Mom (murder, extortion, abuse, attempted enslavement of Earth, general unpleasantness), Zapp Brannigan (Murderous incompetence, sexual harassment, sleeping with Amy, attempted genocide, screwing over basically everyone he's ever known despite their loyalty), Roberto (killed, but later rebuilt), Lrrr (serial murder), V-Giny (multiple counts of genocide and one count of rape), Yivo (serial rape). All survive the series and are either never punished or given sentences so insignificant that it doesn't matter.

Orange is the New Black: I hated where this show went after the Riot, and this trope certainly doesn't help. Max Guards (abuse, sexual extortion, gambling on inmates' lives, complete lack of empathy; Hellman, the most evil of them all, gets freakin' promoted in the series finale), Frieda (sold out fellow inmates more than once, including Red. Took advantage of her dementia to escape retribution), Coats (rape, later dates his victim), Dixon (rape, murder, war crimes), Riot soldiers (killed Piscatella and framed Taysty), and, well, damn near everyone still alive by the end completely abandoned any sense of decency.

King of the Hill: Like Futurama, a classic, but frustrating. Buck Strickland (adultery, illegal business practices, falsifying evidence in a murder investigation, framing his most loyal employee for murder), most one-off antagonists, Peggy Hill (tricked into smuggling drugs into prison, escaping punishment only through luck, and then claiming she had it under control all along. Accidentally kidnapped a Mexican girl, sabotaged Hank's super-bowl party, sabotaged Bobby's turkey dinner).

Archer: This is a show about bad people. That's the point, to sadistically revel in their suffering. Unfortunately, this does not seem to apply to Mallory Archer (child abuse, worker abuse, sexual harassment, torture, murder, unrepentant unpleasantness to everybody). Yes, Archer himself is guilty of most of these crimes and more, but he almost constantly suffers for his misdeeds and shows enough redeeming qualities to be likable, particularly in the later seasons.

I get that in long-running comedy shows, they can't just kill off a number of these characters (at least before the end) so they can continue to be used for comedy purposes, but they still need to suffer some form of retribution for their actions, otherwise I as a viewer walk away bitter and unfulfilled. Yes, Zapp Brannigan is hilarious, that doesn't mean he doesn't deserve to get court martialed for his crimes (and have it stick). I'm not focusing on the comedy or the drama at this point; I'm just gritting my teeth in frustration.

Now, I know some of you might counter that "it's not realistic" and that "people get away with evil all the time in real life," and to that I say, this isn't real life; it's fiction, and in fiction I want a satisfying narrative, and nothing is less satisfying than a Karma or Idiot Houdini.

Just some background. I started feeling him move at 14w0d (posterior placenta) and in that time I've felt him pretty much every day since. At about 18.5 weeks I was feeling him several times an hour every day, by 19.5 I can see his movements shake my belly from the outside. And it was like... constantly. All hours of the day and night for probably the last 5 days, you could see it through my shirt from several feet away. My donor is 6'5 so it's likely he's really big.
Around 8pm last night (it's 5:30 pm now) I realized I hadn't felt him in a while. Around 11 I decided to use the Doppler, not really in an attempt to get his heart rate because I know things can still go wrong even if the heart sounds fine, but because it always really gets him moving probably because it's loud in there to him. It did get him moving for a couple minutes and the HB was fine.
I always wake up around 3 am to pee and then have a hard time sleeping because he's moving so much. He wasn't moving at all this morning when I peed, and I was so nervous. I didn't feel him until around 5:30 am and it was 2 light kicks then nothing. He always starts up again at 8:30 like clockwork, but nothing today. I was at a birthday party today, had cake, pizza, soda, all those sugary things that get him going and...nothing. After shaking my stomach around 1 pm to try to get something out of him, I got 2 good thumps them back to nothing.
5:30 pm now and I haven't felt so much as a twinge since then.
I know it's not very predictable at 20 weeks, but I've been feeling him so strongly for so long and he has such a predictable pattern that it worries me he's more or less stopped and it isn't nearly as strong anymore. I can't see or feel it from the outside. I'm hoping maybe he's just turned inward?
At what point is this too concerning? It's the weekend and I would have to go to the ER to get looked at which I've already done several times the last couple weeks for other reasons. Plus he is technically still moving. Should I just wait for my normal appointment on Wednesday?

I hurriedly followed Emily down the dimly lit hallway. The smell of chlorine mixed with the dampness of the basement air. The echo of our footsteps seemed to bounce off the old cinder block walls, only to be swallowed up by the darkness ahead.
As we reached the locker room, Emily turned to me with a mischievous grin. "You ready for this?" she asked, pulling out a small baggie of weed and a lighter. I nodded, my pulse quickening with a mix of excitement and fear.
We slipped into the bathroom, locking the door behind us. The faded green tiles and the musty smell of stale water surrounded us as Emily quickly rolled a joint. We took turns, each puff bringing a sense of calm and a growing haze to my mind.
A loud noise suddenly cut through the silence, jolting me from my haze. "What was that?" I whispered, my eyes wide with fear. Emily looked at me, confused, and we listened intently, but the noise didn't come again.
"It's probably just someone upstairs. Relax," she said, taking another drag. But I couldn't shake the feeling that something was off.
Moments later, the loudspeaker crackled to life, and the principal's voice echoed throughout the school. "Attention students and staff, we are currently in a lockdown situation. Please remain in your classrooms and follow all lockdown procedures."
I could feel my heart pounding in my chest, and the high seemed to intensify my fear. Emily, however, just rolled her eyes. "It's probably just a drill," she said, blowing out a stream of smoke.
"But what if it's not?" I asked, my voice shaking. "We need to find a place to hide."
Emily reluctantly agreed, and we left the bathroom, heading for the locker area. We found a small storage room filled with old gym equipment and squeezed in, closing the door behind us. It was pitch black, and the air was thick with the smell of dust and rubber. We huddled together, our breaths shallow and rapid.
As we waited, I could feel my mind racing, paranoia setting in. "What if there's someone down here with us?" I whispered, my voice barely audible.
"Shh, you're just freaking yourself out," Emily replied, but I could hear the uncertainty in her voice.
Minutes ticked by, feeling like hours. Just as I was about to suggest we leave our hiding place, I heard footsteps. They were slow, deliberate, and seemed to echo through the stillness. My heart felt like it was going to burst out of my chest, and my hands started to shake.
The footsteps grew louder, closer, and then suddenly stopped. The door to the storage room creaked open, letting in a sliver of light. I squeezed my eyes shut, praying that whoever it was wouldn't see us.
"Emily...Jake," a voice called out softly, hesitantly. I recognized it as our friend, Ryan. I exhaled in relief, and Emily and I looked at each other with a mix of surprise and gratitude.
"What are you doing down here?" Emily asked, her voice still shaky.
"I saw you guys sneak off and thought I'd check on you," Ryan explained, "especially with the lockdown going on."
"Is it just a drill?" I asked, hoping for reassurance.
"I don't think so. I heard there was a suspicious person spotted near the school, so they locked everything down as a precaution. But the police are here, and it should be over soon."
With a sigh of relief, the three of us huddled together in the storage room, waiting for the all-clear signal. While our minds raced with the possibilities of what could have happened if Ryan hadn't found us, we couldn't help but feel a strange sense of camaraderie in our shared experience.
After what felt like an eternity, the principal's voice finally came over the loudspeaker again. "All-clear, students and staff. The lockdown has been lifted, and it is safe to return to your normal activities."
We stepped out of the storage room, the tension in our bodies slowly dissipating. Ryan led the way back to the main hallway, Emily and I following close behind. As we turned a corner, we noticed a janitor's closet door slightly ajar, and a faint scent of disinfectant lingered in the air.
"Must've been left open," Ryan said nonchalantly, as he closed the door without giving it another thought.
We continued on our way, finally emerging from the basement and back into the bustling halls of the school. Students and teachers alike were sharing their lockdown experiences, relief palpable in the air.
Later that day, rumors began to circulate about the lockdown's cause. We overheard a group of teachers talking about how a patient had escaped from a nearby mental hospital earlier that morning. The suspect was said to be highly unpredictable and potentially dangerous, which had prompted the lockdown.
As we shared glances with each other, we couldn't help but feel a shiver run down our spines. The danger had been real, and we'd been hiding in the basement, oblivious to it all.
The next day, the local news reported that the escaped patient had been apprehended in the woods behind the school. A teacher, who had been interviewed, mentioned seeing a suspicious figure lurking near the janitor's closet in the basement during the lockdown.
Emily, Ryan, and I exchanged wide-eyed looks, our hearts pounding as we realized how close we'd come to the suspect without even knowing it. If we'd been just a few minutes later or made a slightly different decision, we could have had a direct encounter with the escaped patient.
The experience left us shaken but also grateful for our friendship and the fact that we'd made it through unscathed. We knew that our days of sneaking off to smoke weed in the basement were over, and we couldn't help but feel a newfound appreciation for the safety of our everyday lives.

It's so hard to meet the right guys nowadays. I've joined all the dating apps and every once in a while I'll meet a guy who I click with. It's not hard to get a booty call guy, but it's the really deep guys I search out. The guys who want more than just a one night stand, who know how to really treat a woman with disrespect and misogyny.
I've always had a thing for the "bad" guys. I'm a relatively powerful woman and because as a woman surgeon everyone basically walks on eggshells around me, and that makes it hard to find guys who don't act like I'm the queen bee. I'm a damn good surgeon and they all want me on "their side" when their patients need care. Dating a guy who will give me a little disrespect and a lewd smack on the ass gives me a thrill I just can't pass up. Finding the guy with just the right amount of "jerk" under his belt is such a turn on. I can't get enough of them. Often with large trucks, larger muscles and brains the size of a misshaped walnut is the type that drives me wild.
Giovanni rolled up to pick me up all swagger and bravado, and when I saw him on the first date it made me hopeful I had finally found the one. He thinks he's such badass boy, but I really give him a run for his money. He's excited that I'm a damn good cook as well as looking damn good, if a little on the heavier side (which he's pointed out to me a few times in a crass way that really gets my motor going). I've prepared a really nice meal for our third date tonight, after all the third date is always the special one if you know what I mean wink. He eats like the barbarian he thinks he are, belching without excuse and assuring me that he'll help me "work off" the gourmet meal I've cooked for us after. When he ate the creme brulee before I could even properly torch the top of his because "the only thing I should light on fire is his junk" I rolled my eyes politely while thinking to myself he has no idea how very right he is.
You see, I know for a fact Giovanni is a womanizer and a horrible man. I helped put back together the little girl his ex left him with after he beat her nearly to death. I'm a damn good surgeon and a more than passable chef, and now that I've properly drugged him, he's going to be the main entree in my next exquisite meal for the next d-bag that thinks brutalizing women and children is a fun sport. Bon appetit motherfucker.

Hey guys, I recently re-shelled a Nintendo DS Lite & an N64 and it got me thinking...Does anyone know of a source for Colecovision replacement shells? A quick Google search didn't turn up anything, but with replacement shells being offered for nearly all the different consoles, how about Colecovision? Thanks in advance!

I’m hoping this is the right place to ask this. Last week I was at a work training. I work in a majority male workplace and there were pretty much majority men at the training as well. That night the hotel was making us get rides to dinner as groups as the hotel was shuttling and didn’t want to drive everywhere just for a single person. So I opted to eat dinner with them for that one night. A few of the men had drinks beforehand and I guess got a little tipsy.
About 6 of us get into the van and I’m the only woman in the van. They all start talking and then ask me how I met my husband. I said we actually met on a work trip for a different company we both used to work for and after a few weeks we determined we were pretty much soulmates, have been together for nearly 5 years now and married for about a year.
One of the guys looks at me right after my meet cute story and says ‘you sl*t’.
I’m guessing he meant it as a joke, but I don’t know this man at all and I wouldn’t even like my close friends making that kind of joke, let alone about how I met my husband.
For the sake of dinner I kept quiet, but now I want to know how I can proceed with telling HR about sexual harassment. I still have to do training with this man, and I don’t feel comfortable approaching him on an individual basis as the topic is difficult and he could just explain away that it was a joke.
Any advice for how I can approach HR?
Thanks

Hi all, I'm in need of a new hobby and have decided to give leather crafting a go. Mostly to learn a new skill, but also because I'm tired of buying cheap leather products that fall apart. I was wondering what tools and products you guys and gals would recommend to start out with? I tried googling leather crafting classes near me, but a lass vermont doesnt seem to have any. Also tried googling tools to start with, but there is just so much stuff that comes up for it that it just takes too long to sift through all of it. Any help would be appreciated.

It's so hard to meet the right guys nowadays. I've joined all the dating apps and every once in a while I'll meet a guy who I click with. It's not hard to get a booty call guy, but it's the really deep guys I search out. The guys who want more than just a one night stand, who know how to really treat a woman with disrespect and misogyny.
I've always had a thing for the "bad" guys. I'm a relatively powerful woman and because as a woman surgeon everyone basically walks on eggshells around me, and that makes it hard to find guys who don't act like I'm the queen bee. I'm a damn good surgeon and they all want me on "their side" when their patients need care. Dating a guy who will give me a little disrespect and a lewd smack on the ass gives me a thrill I just can't pass up. Finding the guy with just the right amount of "jerk" under his belt is such a turn on. I can't get enough of them. Often with large trucks, larger muscles and brains the size of a misshaped walnut is the type that drives me wild.
Giovanni rolled up to pick me up all swagger and bravado, and when I saw him on the first date it made me hopeful I had finally found the one. He thinks he's such badass boy, but I really give him a run for his money. He's excited that I'm a damn good cook as well as looking damn good, if a little on the heavier side (which he's pointed out to me a few times in a crass way that really gets my motor going). I've prepared a really nice meal for our third date tonight, after all the third date is always the special one if you know what I mean wink. He eats like the barbarian he thinks he are, belching without excuse and assuring me that he'll help me "work off" the gourmet meal I've cooked for us after. When he ate the creme brulee before I could even properly torch the top of his because "the only thing I should light on fire is his junk" I rolled my eyes politely while thinking to myself he has no idea how very right he is.
You see, I know for a fact Giovanni is a womanizer and a horrible man. I helped put back together the little girl his ex left him with after he beat her nearly to death. I'm a damn good surgeon and a more than passable chef, and now that I've properly drugged him, he's going to be the main entree in my next exquisite meal for the next d-bag that thinks brutalizing women and children is a fun sport. Bon appetit motherfucker.

In this post, I kept track of every 2019 movie's CinemaScore (at least, the ones that got it).
In 2017, 127 movies received CinemaScores. How did it go?
Surprisingly, this year had all grades (from A+ to F). I'm impressed.
The Case for Christ and A Question of Faith got an A+. Please add

A+

3 movies (2.36%) managed to get the rare A+. Generally, this indicates exceptional word of mouth and guarantees a long and healthy run. Of course, the bigger a movie opens, the weaker legs will turn out to be. These movies averaged a 4.21x multiplier.

No.	Movie	Date	Studio	Domestic Opening	Domestic Total	Budget	Weeks in theaters	Multiplier
1	Wonder	Nov/17	Lionsgate	$27,547,866	$132,422,809	$20M	18	4.81x
2	Coco	Nov/22	Disney	$50,802,605	$210,460,015	$175M	24	4.14x
3	Girls Trip	Jul/21	Universal	$31,201,920	$115,108,515	$19M	12	3.69x

A

25 movies (19.68%) managed to get the grade. A step down from the rare A+, but it still indicates strong word of mouth. These movies averaged a 5.02x multiplier.

No.	Movie	Date	Studio	Domestic Opening	Domestic Total	Budget	Weeks in theaters	Multiplier
1	The Shape of Water	Dec/1	Searchlight	$3,000,490	$63,859,435	$20M	22	21.28x
2	The Greatest Showman	Dec/20	Fox	$8,805,843	$174,340,174	$84M	31	19.79x
3	Gifted	Ap7	Searchlight	$3,090,633	$24,801,212	$7M	20	8.02x
4	Ferdinand	Dec/15	Fox	$13,401,586	$84,410,380	$111M	24	6.30x
5	The Big Sick	Jun/23	Lionsgate	$7,563,040	$42,872,467	$5M	17	5.67x
6	Leap!	Aug/25	The Weinstein Company	$4,730,038	$21,858,070	$30M	15	4.62x
7	The Post	Dec/22	Fox	$19,361,968	$81,903,458	$50M	21	4.23x
8	The Star	Nov/17	Sony	$9,812,674	$40,847,995	$20M	13	4.16x
9	Wonder Woman	Jun/2	Warner Bros.	$103,251,471	$412,563,408	$150M	23	4.00x
10	Battle of the Sexes	Sep/22	Searchlight	$3,408,594	$12,638,526	$25M	13	3.71x
11	The Shack	Ma3	Lionsgate	$16,172,119	$57,386,418	$20M	11	3.55x
12	A Dog's Purpose	Jan/27	Universal	$18,222,810	$64,321,890	$22M	15	3.53x
13	Megan Leavey	Jun/9	Bleecker Street	$3,810,867	$13,406,304	N/A	14	3.52x
14	Smurfs: The Lost Village	Ap7	Sony	$13,210,449	$45,020,282	$60M	17	3.41x
15	Only the Brave	Oct/20	Sony	$6,002,665	$18,340,051	$38M	15	3.06x
16	Monster Trucks	Jan/13	Paramount	$10,950,705	$33,370,166	$125M	9	3.05x
17	Beauty and the Beast	Ma17	Disney	$174,750,616	$504,014,165	$160M	17	2.88x
18	Spider-Man: Homecoming	Jul/7	Sony	$117,027,503	$334,201,140	$175M	21	2.86x
19	Cars 3	Jun/16	Disney	$53,688,680	$152,901,115	$175M	20	2.85x
20	Star Wars: The Last Jedi	Dec/15	Disney	$220,009,584	$620,181,382	$200M	18	2.82x
21	Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2	May/5	Disney	$146,510,104	$389,813,101	$200M	20	2.66x
22	How to Be a Latin Lover	Ap28	Lionsgate	$12,252,439	$32,149,404	$10M	8	2.62x
23	Thor: Ragnarok	Nov/3	Disney	$122,744,989	$315,058,289	$180M	19	2.57x
24	The Fate of the Furious	Ap14	Universal	$98,786,705	$225,764,765	$250M	13	2.29x
25	Power Rangers	Ma24	Lionsgate	$40,300,288	$85,364,450	$100M	10	2.12x

A–

30 movies (23.62%) managed to get the grade. Generally, word of mouth will be good and indicates audiences like the movie, their expectations were met and nothing more. These movies averaged a 3.67x multiplier.

No.	Movie	Date	Studio	Domestic Opening	Domestic Total	Budget	Weeks in theaters	Multiplier
1	Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri	Nov/10	Searchlight	$4,403,003	$54,513,740	$12M	25	12.38x
2	Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle	Dec/20	Sony	$36,169,328	$404,508,916	$150M	23	11.18x
3	Get Out	Feb/24	Universal	$33,377,060	$175,837,935	$4.5M	18	5.27x
4	Pitch Perfect 3	Dec/22	Universal	$19,928,525	$104,897,530	$45M	11	5.26x
5	Baby Driver	Jun/28	Sony	$20,553,320	$107,825,862	$34M	16	5.25x
6	Molly's Game	Dec/25	STX	$6,856,578	$28,780,744	$30M	16	4.20x
7	Dunkirk	Jul/21	Warner Bros.	$50,513,488	$190,068,280	$100M	21	3.76x
8	The Glass Castle	Aug/11	Lionsgate	$4,678,548	$17,273,059	$9M	9	3.69x
9	Despicable Me 3	Jun/30	Universal	$72,434,025	$264,624,300	$80M	25	3.65x
10	Daddy's Home 2	Nov/10	Paramount	$29,651,193	$104,029,443	$69M	14	3.51x
11	The Boss Baby	Ma31	Fox	$50,198,902	$175,003,033	$125M	31	3.49x
12	The Lego Batman Movie	Feb/10	Warner Bros.	$53,003,468	$175,750,384	$80M	17	3.32x
13	John Wick: Chapter 2	Feb/10	Lionsgate	$30,436,123	$92,029,184	$40M	11	3.02x
14	Everything, Everything	May/19	Warner Bros.	$11,727,390	$34,121,140	$10M	10	2.91x
15	Born in China	Ap21	Disney	$4,790,367	$13,873,211	$5M	11	2.90x
16	The Mountain Between Us	Oct/6	Fox	$10,551,336	$30,348,555	$35M	11	2.88x
17	Blade Runner 2049	Oct/6	Warner Bros.	$32,753,122	$92,054,159	$185M	17	2.81x
18	Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales	May/26	Disney	$62,983,253	$172,558,876	$230M	17	2.74x
19	The Foreigner	Oct/13	STX	$13,113,024	$34,393,507	$35M	10	2.62x
20	War for the Planet of the Apes	Jul/14	Fox	$56,262,929	$146,880,162	$150M	20	2.61x
21	Stronger	Sep/22	Lionsgate	$1,611,040	$4,211,129	$30M	10	2.61x
22	Logan	Ma3	Fox	$88,411,916	$226,277,068	$97M	19	2.56x
23	Thank You For Your Service	Oct/27	Universal	$3,817,700	$9,479,390	$20M	4	2.48x
24	My Little Pony: The Movie	Oct/6	Lionsgate	$8,885,899	$21,885,107	$6.5M	9	2.46x
25	Detroit	Jul/28	Annapurna	$7,125,601	$16,790,139	$40M	11	2.36x
26	xXx: Return of Xander Cage	Jan/20	Paramount	$20,130,142	$44,898,413	$85M	8	2.23x
27	Boo 2! A Madea Halloween	Oct/20	Lionsgate	$21,226,953	$47,319,572	$20M	8	2.23x
28	The Space Between Us	Feb/3	STX	$3,775,596	$7,885,294	$30M	4	2.09x
29	The Promise	Ap21	Open Road	$4,095,718	$8,224,288	$100M	4	2.01x
30	All Eyez on Me	Jun/16	Lionsgate	$26,435,354	$44,922,302	$40M	7	1.70x

B+

29 movies (16.53%) managed to get the grade. This is where things get interesting. Generally, it indicates average word of mouth. The audience didn't love it, but didn't hate it. For some niche movies, this should be a fine score. But for IP-driven movies, this should be concerning as fans are more biased to the movie itself. These movies averaged a 2.91x multiplier.

No.	Movie	Date	Studio	Domestic Opening	Domestic Total	Budget	Weeks in theaters	Multiplier
1	Going in Style	Ap7	Warner Bros.	$11,932,330	$45,018,541	$25M	14	3.77x
2	The Founder	Jan/20	The Weinstein Company	$3,404,102	$12,786,053	$25M	14	3.76x
3	The Hitman's Bodyguard	Aug/18	Lionsgate	$21,384,504	$75,468,583	$30M	11	3.53x
4	Split	Jan/20	Universal	$40,010,975	$138,141,585	$9M	15	3.45x
5	The Nut Job 2: Nutty by Nature	Aug/11	Open Road	$8,342,311	$28,370,522	$40M	7	3.40x
6	Baywatch	May/26	Paramount	$18,503,871	$58,060,186	$69M	9	3.14x
7	Captain Underpants: The First Epic Movie	Jun/2	Fox	$23,851,539	$73,921,000	$38M	22	3.10x
8	Kidnap	Aug/4	Aviron	$10,016,323	$30,718,107	$21M	15	3.07x
9	American Made	Sep/22	Universal	$16,776,390	$51,342,000	$50M	11	3.06x
10	Transformers: The Last Knight	Jun/23	Paramount	$44,680,073	$130,168,683	$260M	9	2.91x
11	The Lego Ninjago Movie	Sep/22	Warner Bros.	$20,433,071	$59,281,555	$70M	10	2.90x
12	Kong: Skull Island	Ma10	Warner Bros.	$61,025,472	$168,052,812	$185M	14	2.75x
13	It	Sep/8	Warner Bros.	$123,403,419	$328,828,874	$35M	14	2.66x
14	Kingsman: The Golden Circle	Sep/22	Fox	$39,023,010	$100,234,838	$104M	15	2.57x
15	King Arthur: Legend of the Sword	May/12	Warner Bros.	$15,371,270	$39,175,066	$175M	10	2.55x
16	Rock Dog	Feb/24	Lionsgate	$3,704,749	$9,420,546	$60M	7	2.54x
17	Sleepless	Jan/13	Open Road	$8,344,128	$20,783,704	$30M	8	2.49x
18	Fifty Shades Darker	Feb/10	Universal	$46,607,250	$114,434,010	$55M	7	2.46x
19	American Assassin	Sep/15	Lionsgate	$14,846,778	$36,249,674	$33M	8	2.44x
20	Justice League	Nov/17	Warner Bros.	$93,842,239	$229,024,295	$300M	17	2.44x
21	Underworld: Blood Wars	Jan/6	Sony	$13,688,751	$30,353,973	$35M	9	2.22x

B

22 movies (17.32%) managed to get the grade. Another step down, which indicates word of mouth to be below average or middling. It could still hold on pretty well, but it's not guaranteed. These movies averaged a 2.85x multiplier.

No.	Movie	Date	Studio	Domestic Opening	Domestic Total	Budget	Weeks in theaters	Multiplier
1	All the Money in the World	Dec/25	Sony	$5,584,684	$25,106,325	$50M	12	4.50x
2	A Bad Moms Christmas	Nov/1	STX	$16,759,161	$72,110,659	$28M	10	4.30x
3	Logan Lucky	Aug/18	Bleecker Street	$7,600,036	$27,778,642	$29M	12	3.66x
4	Murder on the Orient Express	Nov/10	Fox	$28,681,472	$102,826,543	$55M	16	3.59x
5	The Emoji Movie	Jul/28	Sony	$24,531,923	$86,089,513	$50M	18	3.51x
6	Home Again	Sep/8	Open Road	$8,567,881	$27,020,284	$15M	9	3.15x
7	Hostiles	Dec/22	Entertainment Studios	$10,110,739	$29,819,114	$39M	20	2.95x
8	Annabelle: Creation	Aug/11	Warner Bros.	$35,006,404	$102,092,201	$15M	12	2.92x
9	Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul	May/19	Fox	$7,126,084	$20,738,724	$22M	13	2.91x
10	Atomic Blonde	Jul/28	Focus Features	$18,286,420	$51,573,925	$30M	9	2.82x
11	Roman J. Israel, Esq.	Nov/17	Sony	$4,447,070	$11,962,712	$22M	14	2.69x
12	The Dark Tower	Aug/4	Sony	$19,153,698	$50,701,325	$66M	11	2.65x
13	Fist Fight	Feb/17	Warner Bros.	$12,201,873	$32,187,017	$25M	8	2.64x
14	Before I Fall	Ma3	Open Road	$4,690,214	$12,241,072	$5M	8	2.61x
15	Birth of the Dragon	Aug/25	BH Tilt	$2,702,430	$6,901,965	$31M	5	2.55x
16	The Great Wall	Feb/17	Universal	$18,469,620	$45,157,105	$150M	7	2.44x
17	Snatched	May/12	Fox	$19,542,248	$45,852,178	$42M	12	2.35x
18	Jigsaw	Oct/27	Lionsgate	$16,640,452	$38,052,832	$10M	12	2.29x
19	Ghost in the Shell	Ma31	Paramount	$18,676,033	$40,563,557	$110M	8	2.17x
20	Happy Death Day	Oct/13	Universal	$26,039,025	$55,683,845	$4.8M	9	2.14x
21	Alien: Covenant	May/19	Fox	$36,160,621	$74,262,031	$97M	15	2.05x
22	Resident Evil: The Final Chapter	Jan/27	Sony	$13,601,682	$26,844,692	$40M	9	1.97x

B–

8 movies (6.29%) managed to get the grade. Word of mouth is now extremely below average and indicates audiences are more disliking it. These movies averaged a 2.83x multiplier.

No.	Movie	Date	Studio	Domestic Opening	Domestic Total	Budget	Weeks in theaters	Multiplier
1	Father Figures	Dec/22	Warner Bros.	$3,821,365	$17,501,244	$25M	8	5.32x
2	The House	Jun/30	Warner Bros.	$8,724,795	$25,584,504	$40M	9	2.93x
3	Flatliners	Sep/29	Sony	$6,574,326	$16,883,115	$19M	8	2.57x
4	The Mummy	Jun/9	Universal	$31,668,375	$80,101,125	$195M	10	2.53x
5	Geostorm	Oct/20	Warner Bros.	$13,707,376	$33,700,160	$130M	12	2.46x
6	CHiPs	Ma24	Warner Bros.	$7,722,802	$18,600,152	$25M	9	2.41x
7	Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets	Jul/21	STX	$17,007,624	$40,479,370	$209M	9	2.38x
8	Gold	Jan/27	The Weinstein Company	$3,471,316	$7,227,038	$20M	6	2.08x

C+

5 movies (3.93%) managed to get the grade. This is where generally horror movies get their ratings. For non-horror movies tho, you better hope it has a compelling premise or it will heavily drop. These movies averaged a 2.08x multiplier.

No.	Movie	Date	Studio	Domestic Opening	Domestic Total	Budget	Weeks in theaters	Multiplier
1	Rough Night	Jun/16	Sony	$8,004,283	$22,105,643	$20M	11	2.76x
2	Life	Ma24	Sony	$12,501,936	$30,234,022	$58M	10	2.42x
3	Friend Request	Sep/22	Entertainment Studios	$2,002,863	$3,759,078	$10M	10	1.88x
4	A Cure for Wellness	Feb/17	Fox	$4,356,941	$8,106,986	$40M	5	1.86x
5	Collide	Feb/24	Open Road	$1,512,824	$2,280,004	$29.2M	2	1.51x

C

6 movies (4.72%) managed to get the grade. Even worse word of mouth, but these movies had some middling to outright terrible response. These movies averaged a 2.90x multiplier.

No.	Movie	Date	Studio	Domestic Opening	Domestic Total	Budget	Weeks in theaters	Multiplier
1	Downsizing	Dec/22	Paramount	$4,954,287	$24,449,754	$68M	6	4.94x
2	47 Meters Down	Jun/16	Entertainment Studios	$11,205,562	$44,307,193	$5.3M	18	3.95x
3	Wish Upon	Jul/14	Broad Green	$5,467,084	$14,301,505	$12M	13	2.62x
4	Unforgettable	Ap21	Warner Bros.	$4,785,431	$11,368,012	$21.5M	6	2.38x
5	Just Getting Started	Dec/8	Broad Green	$3,201,459	$6,069,605	$22M	7	1.90x
6	The Bye Bye Man	Jan/13	STX	$13,501,349	$22,395,806	$7.4M	5	1.66x

C–

2 movies (1.57%) managed to get the grade. The future is not bright here. These movies averaged a 2.06x multiplier.

No.	Movie	Date	Studio	Domestic Opening	Domestic Total	Budget	Weeks in theaters	Multiplier
1	Rings	Feb/3	Paramount	$13,002,632	$27,793,018	$25M	7	2.14x
2	Phoenix Forgotten	Ap21	Entertainment Studios	$1,816,499	$3,600,146	$2.8M	8	1.98x

D+

Only one movie (0.78%) managed to get the grade. Even for horror movie standards, this is outright toxic word of mouth. This movie averaged a 2.27x multiplier.

No.	Movie	Date	Studio	Domestic Opening	Domestic Total	Budget	Weeks in theaters	Multiplier
1	The Circle	Ap28	STX	$9,034,148	$20,497,844	$18M	6	2.27x

D

2 movies (1.57%) managed to get the grade. The feeling of hate grows. If your movie is advertised as something it isn't, you're doomed. This movie averaged a 2.16x multiplier.

No.	Movie	Date	Studio	Domestic Opening	Domestic Total	Budget	Weeks in theaters	Multiplier
1	It Comes at Night	Jun/9	A24	$5,988,370	$13,985,117	$2.4M	15	2.34x
2	The Snowman	Oct/20	Universal	$3,372,565	$6,670,765	$35M	4	1.98x

D–

Only one movie (0.78%) managed to get the grade. Even though it's above the F grade, this is the rarest grade that a movie could achieve. The movie must have pissed off nearly everyone to get this. This movie averaged a 2.03x multiplier.

No.	Movie	Date	Studio	Domestic Opening	Domestic Total	Budget	Weeks in theaters	Multiplier
1	Suburbicon	Oct/27	Paramount	$2,840,246	$5,775,178	$25M	3	2.03x

F

Only one movie (0.78%) managed to get the grade. The most dreaded grade. Word of mouth is completely dead and this will drop like a rock. This movie averaged a 2.34x multiplier.

No.	Movie	Date	Studio	Domestic Opening	Domestic Total	Budget	Weeks in theaters	Multiplier
1	mother!	Sep/15	Paramount	$7,534,673	$17,800,004	$30M	6	2.34x

42, 5'7, 180lbs disease free black guy here Looking to suck off, maybe rim a guy. Can host in my hotel room, or travel. Staying near Flatiron building If your a little sweaty that's cool with me. Just looking for ab low key blow and go type thing

It's so hard to meet the right guys nowadays. I've joined all the dating apps and every once in a while I'll meet a guy who I click with. It's not hard to get a booty call guy, but it's the really deep guys I search out. The guys who want more than just a one night stand, who know how to really treat a woman with disrespect and misogyny.
I've always had a thing for the "bad" guys. I'm a relatively powerful woman and because as a woman surgeon everyone basically walks on eggshells around me, and that makes it hard to find guys who don't act like I'm the queen bee. I'm a damn good surgeon and they all want me on "their side" when their patients need care. Dating a guy who will give me a little disrespect and a lewd smack on the ass gives me a thrill I just can't pass up. Finding the guy with just the right amount of "jerk" under his belt is such a turn on. I can't get enough of them. Often with large trucks, larger muscles and brains the size of a misshaped walnut is the type that drives me wild.
Giovanni rolled up to pick me up all swagger and bravado, and when I saw him on the first date it made me hopeful I had finally found the one. He thinks he's such badass boy, but I really give him a run for his money. He's excited that I'm a damn good cook as well as looking damn good, if a little on the heavier side (which he's pointed out to me a few times in a crass way that really gets my motor going). I've prepared a really nice meal for our third date tonight, after all the third date is always the special one if you know what I mean wink. He eats like the barbarian he thinks he are, belching without excuse and assuring me that he'll help me "work off" the gourmet meal I've cooked for us after. When he ate the creme brulee before I could even properly torch the top of his because "the only thing I should light on fire is his junk" I rolled my eyes politely while thinking to myself he has no idea how very right he is.
You see, I know for a fact Giovanni is a womanizer and a horrible man. I helped put back together the little girl his ex left him with after he beat her nearly to death. I'm a damn good surgeon and a more than passable chef, and now that I've properly drugged him, he's going to be the main entree in my next exquisite meal for the next d-bag that thinks brutalizing women and children is a fun sport. Bon appetit motherfucker.

Hi!
I'm a conservative Christian woman without children looking for a nice older (40-70) man near the southern USA who wants a pure relationship that will lead to marriage. I have a bachelor's in psychology and I work in the medical field. I love animals and all kinds of music (especially rock). I can cook, clean, and take care of children. I am honest, modest, loyal, and kind. I do not smoke or use drugs. I would keep my heart and my gaze only to my future spouse.
What I'm looking for is a monogamous man who is also conservative and who doesn't have any dependent children still living with him. I prefer men who don't smoke or use recreational drugs. Sorry, but I don't think I am well-matched with men who enjoy hunting or who have exes still in the picture (no offense). I tend to believe in more traditional gender roles, with the woman being primarily a homemaker and the man being primarily a provider.
I like men of all shapes and sizes. Personally, I am a BBW type with red hair and blue eyes. Ideally I'd like to find a man who is cool with plus size women (if that's not your thing I completely understand).
God bless anyone who is reading this!!! If any of this post resonates with you, feel free to DM me!
Edit: distance is not an issue but it would be best if the man could relocate to my area :)

A real one with real words and thoughts and feelings. Will you even just a smidgen. I want to fall in love with the words again as the lay elliquliently upon the page. Watch your hand writing Flo as you express you emotions and thoughts a float. There is a majestic ear to words and the weight that they hold. You never know what someone else's eyes behold until your told. So tell me what lies behind those blue eyes so light so pure. Enlighten me my dear if only I was just a friend to lend an ear about a hard day I'll be there. Where ever you go. You don't have to reach far I'm always near. One whisper of my name call out to me dear. Explode yourself on me don't feel guilty I am here. I'm here for you to be true always baby blue ♡

First off, I just have to state that I am in so much emotional pain that I am on the verge of throwing up. I can't stop crying.
My boyfriend of nearly 3 years (1 month from that anniversary) just broke up with me yesterday morning. My boyfriend has a history of depression, it can come in waves. He is also codependent and a people pleaser. He has (seemingly) come far with people pleasing, especially in our relationship. We live together and just signed a new lease in December.
My boyfriend is an incredibly sensitive, loving, and kind person. He also is incredibly traumatized, which I have come to realize the longer we've been together. We were best friends for 2 years before we started dating. I also want to note that I have CPTSD, from growing up with a narcissistic mother.
His grandpa died a year ago from COVID. His grandpa was like a parent to him. His grandpa lived in their home and helped raise him. We moved in together literally right after this happened. He emotionally shut down for about 6 months. I 100% did not respond well, at the 6-month mark I think I pushed him too much to get out and do things that could possible help him. It was really difficult seeing him in pain and so shut down. Selfishly, it was very difficult to be in a relationship with someone that was completely gone. I definitely tried to "manage" his grief. I feel deep shame about it and we have discussed how this hurt him and how remorseful I am and how I can be better going forward. Fast forward to today, and it seems like he's doing even worse with his grief. He sits on his video games for 3-6 hours a day. He works at a bar and is up late and is not happy with his life or where he is at. He plans on doing firefighting and going to paramedic school in the fall.
The past month it was clear something was definitely not right, he avoided talk of the future. I pushed him to talk about it, and he admitted he was having doubts about things with us. He told me 3 weeks ago that he doesn't want to be alive. He sees a therapist once a month thats been helpful. He said he feels all of the childhood emotions he wasn;t allowed to feel as a kid are surfacing now and he is overwhemled. Our relationship, while not perfect, has been amazing, Loving, supportive, and vulnerable. We have shared so many deep and vulnerable things with each other.
The night before he broke up with me, he went out till 4 am (we had plans to hike the next morning) and I expressed how upset and unlike him to not even let me know he was going to go out. We both would always communicate where we were going just as a safety thing. He stated he can't do it anymore during the break up. He was crying the whole time. He feels he needs to learn how to be an adult on his own. He doesn't feel he can give me what I need. To me, I can clearly see he is NOT happy with his life. I think he feels stagnant. He has low self-esteem and feels that he just doesn't even know how to be a partner anymore.
I have brought up on multiple occasions how our relationship feels empty. I have been critical at times for sure. He has basically stopped communicating to me in terms of feelings or whats wrong. He hasn't done much to fix his depression either. I've encouraged him to try to find a hobby thats not playing video games and to work on finding a job he enjoys more. I feel so hurt that the first tangible thing he has done to fix his depression is break up with me. He constantly told me he wasn't going anywhere, that I was the love of his life. He is adamant that there is no one else, and that he still loves me. He just feels he doesn't cut it anymore. He also admitted he feels suffocated. I am absolutely devastated. This was the man that I was going to marry. He seems really scared by comittment (he has mentioned this since day 1) but it seemed to worsen ten fold after his grandpas death.
I do feel one some level he is telling the truth. It is clear he is struggling, But I can't help but feel I am not good enough to fight for. My CPTSD can make me selfish and feel like its all me. I am just completely heartbroken. I told him that he will need to move out, so I can get some separation. Our friend group is completely emeshed. He was fine with living here, which I thought was odd.
I guess I am just looking for support, insight, or anything It also felt good to write that all down, Thank you if you took the time to read this all.

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Total Price:180
Make and Model: Spydero Pm2 K390
Timestamp and Pics: https://imgur.com/a/wE0FLYN
Price Justification:https://www.reddit.com/Knife_Swap/comments/v6twnm/wts_spyderco_pm2_k390/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
Escrow: u/sruldog for u/killacaltron
Description: PLEASE BE THOROUGH. EXPLICITLY STATE ALL ISSUES : Blade has patina, did my best to photo it. stropped only afaik, scales have some scuffs and marks, most notably the scuff near the pivot on the non show side. Pretty centered, maybe a hair off.
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