Trying to find an unlimited car wash membership in town that isn’t outrageously expensive. Thanks in advance for any recommendations!

In this post, I kept track of every 2019 movie's CinemaScore (at least, the ones that got it).
In 2017, 127 movies received CinemaScores. How did it go?
Surprisingly, this year had all grades (from A+ to F). I'm impressed.
The Case for Christ and A Question of Faith got an A+. Please add

A+

3 movies (2.36%) managed to get the rare A+. Generally, this indicates exceptional word of mouth and guarantees a long and healthy run. Of course, the bigger a movie opens, the weaker legs will turn out to be. These movies averaged a 4.21x multiplier.

No.	Movie	Date	Studio	Domestic Opening	Domestic Total	Budget	Weeks in theaters	Multiplier
1	Wonder	Nov/17	Lionsgate	$27,547,866	$132,422,809	$20M	18	4.81x
2	Coco	Nov/22	Disney	$50,802,605	$210,460,015	$175M	24	4.14x
3	Girls Trip	Jul/21	Universal	$31,201,920	$115,108,515	$19M	12	3.69x

A

25 movies (19.68%) managed to get the grade. A step down from the rare A+, but it still indicates strong word of mouth. These movies averaged a 5.02x multiplier.

No.	Movie	Date	Studio	Domestic Opening	Domestic Total	Budget	Weeks in theaters	Multiplier
1	The Shape of Water	Dec/1	Searchlight	$3,000,490	$63,859,435	$20M	22	21.28x
2	The Greatest Showman	Dec/20	Fox	$8,805,843	$174,340,174	$84M	31	19.79x
3	Gifted	Ap7	Searchlight	$3,090,633	$24,801,212	$7M	20	8.02x
4	Ferdinand	Dec/15	Fox	$13,401,586	$84,410,380	$111M	24	6.30x
5	The Big Sick	Jun/23	Lionsgate	$7,563,040	$42,872,467	$5M	17	5.67x
6	Leap!	Aug/25	The Weinstein Company	$4,730,038	$21,858,070	$30M	15	4.62x
7	The Post	Dec/22	Fox	$19,361,968	$81,903,458	$50M	21	4.23x
8	The Star	Nov/17	Sony	$9,812,674	$40,847,995	$20M	13	4.16x
9	Wonder Woman	Jun/2	Warner Bros.	$103,251,471	$412,563,408	$150M	23	4.00x
10	Battle of the Sexes	Sep/22	Searchlight	$3,408,594	$12,638,526	$25M	13	3.71x
11	The Shack	Ma3	Lionsgate	$16,172,119	$57,386,418	$20M	11	3.55x
12	A Dog's Purpose	Jan/27	Universal	$18,222,810	$64,321,890	$22M	15	3.53x
13	Megan Leavey	Jun/9	Bleecker Street	$3,810,867	$13,406,304	N/A	14	3.52x
14	Smurfs: The Lost Village	Ap7	Sony	$13,210,449	$45,020,282	$60M	17	3.41x
15	Only the Brave	Oct/20	Sony	$6,002,665	$18,340,051	$38M	15	3.06x
16	Monster Trucks	Jan/13	Paramount	$10,950,705	$33,370,166	$125M	9	3.05x
17	Beauty and the Beast	Ma17	Disney	$174,750,616	$504,014,165	$160M	17	2.88x
18	Spider-Man: Homecoming	Jul/7	Sony	$117,027,503	$334,201,140	$175M	21	2.86x
19	Cars 3	Jun/16	Disney	$53,688,680	$152,901,115	$175M	20	2.85x
20	Star Wars: The Last Jedi	Dec/15	Disney	$220,009,584	$620,181,382	$200M	18	2.82x
21	Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2	May/5	Disney	$146,510,104	$389,813,101	$200M	20	2.66x
22	How to Be a Latin Lover	Ap28	Lionsgate	$12,252,439	$32,149,404	$10M	8	2.62x
23	Thor: Ragnarok	Nov/3	Disney	$122,744,989	$315,058,289	$180M	19	2.57x
24	The Fate of the Furious	Ap14	Universal	$98,786,705	$225,764,765	$250M	13	2.29x
25	Power Rangers	Ma24	Lionsgate	$40,300,288	$85,364,450	$100M	10	2.12x

A–

30 movies (23.62%) managed to get the grade. Generally, word of mouth will be good and indicates audiences like the movie, their expectations were met and nothing more. These movies averaged a 3.67x multiplier.

No.	Movie	Date	Studio	Domestic Opening	Domestic Total	Budget	Weeks in theaters	Multiplier
1	Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri	Nov/10	Searchlight	$4,403,003	$54,513,740	$12M	25	12.38x
2	Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle	Dec/20	Sony	$36,169,328	$404,508,916	$150M	23	11.18x
3	Get Out	Feb/24	Universal	$33,377,060	$175,837,935	$4.5M	18	5.27x
4	Pitch Perfect 3	Dec/22	Universal	$19,928,525	$104,897,530	$45M	11	5.26x
5	Baby Driver	Jun/28	Sony	$20,553,320	$107,825,862	$34M	16	5.25x
6	Molly's Game	Dec/25	STX	$6,856,578	$28,780,744	$30M	16	4.20x
7	Dunkirk	Jul/21	Warner Bros.	$50,513,488	$190,068,280	$100M	21	3.76x
8	The Glass Castle	Aug/11	Lionsgate	$4,678,548	$17,273,059	$9M	9	3.69x
9	Despicable Me 3	Jun/30	Universal	$72,434,025	$264,624,300	$80M	25	3.65x
10	Daddy's Home 2	Nov/10	Paramount	$29,651,193	$104,029,443	$69M	14	3.51x
11	The Boss Baby	Ma31	Fox	$50,198,902	$175,003,033	$125M	31	3.49x
12	The Lego Batman Movie	Feb/10	Warner Bros.	$53,003,468	$175,750,384	$80M	17	3.32x
13	John Wick: Chapter 2	Feb/10	Lionsgate	$30,436,123	$92,029,184	$40M	11	3.02x
14	Everything, Everything	May/19	Warner Bros.	$11,727,390	$34,121,140	$10M	10	2.91x
15	Born in China	Ap21	Disney	$4,790,367	$13,873,211	$5M	11	2.90x
16	The Mountain Between Us	Oct/6	Fox	$10,551,336	$30,348,555	$35M	11	2.88x
17	Blade Runner 2049	Oct/6	Warner Bros.	$32,753,122	$92,054,159	$185M	17	2.81x
18	Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales	May/26	Disney	$62,983,253	$172,558,876	$230M	17	2.74x
19	The Foreigner	Oct/13	STX	$13,113,024	$34,393,507	$35M	10	2.62x
20	War for the Planet of the Apes	Jul/14	Fox	$56,262,929	$146,880,162	$150M	20	2.61x
21	Stronger	Sep/22	Lionsgate	$1,611,040	$4,211,129	$30M	10	2.61x
22	Logan	Ma3	Fox	$88,411,916	$226,277,068	$97M	19	2.56x
23	Thank You For Your Service	Oct/27	Universal	$3,817,700	$9,479,390	$20M	4	2.48x
24	My Little Pony: The Movie	Oct/6	Lionsgate	$8,885,899	$21,885,107	$6.5M	9	2.46x
25	Detroit	Jul/28	Annapurna	$7,125,601	$16,790,139	$40M	11	2.36x
26	xXx: Return of Xander Cage	Jan/20	Paramount	$20,130,142	$44,898,413	$85M	8	2.23x
27	Boo 2! A Madea Halloween	Oct/20	Lionsgate	$21,226,953	$47,319,572	$20M	8	2.23x
28	The Space Between Us	Feb/3	STX	$3,775,596	$7,885,294	$30M	4	2.09x
29	The Promise	Ap21	Open Road	$4,095,718	$8,224,288	$100M	4	2.01x
30	All Eyez on Me	Jun/16	Lionsgate	$26,435,354	$44,922,302	$40M	7	1.70x

B+

29 movies (16.53%) managed to get the grade. This is where things get interesting. Generally, it indicates average word of mouth. The audience didn't love it, but didn't hate it. For some niche movies, this should be a fine score. But for IP-driven movies, this should be concerning as fans are more biased to the movie itself. These movies averaged a 2.91x multiplier.

No.	Movie	Date	Studio	Domestic Opening	Domestic Total	Budget	Weeks in theaters	Multiplier
1	Going in Style	Ap7	Warner Bros.	$11,932,330	$45,018,541	$25M	14	3.77x
2	The Founder	Jan/20	The Weinstein Company	$3,404,102	$12,786,053	$25M	14	3.76x
3	The Hitman's Bodyguard	Aug/18	Lionsgate	$21,384,504	$75,468,583	$30M	11	3.53x
4	Split	Jan/20	Universal	$40,010,975	$138,141,585	$9M	15	3.45x
5	The Nut Job 2: Nutty by Nature	Aug/11	Open Road	$8,342,311	$28,370,522	$40M	7	3.40x
6	Baywatch	May/26	Paramount	$18,503,871	$58,060,186	$69M	9	3.14x
7	Captain Underpants: The First Epic Movie	Jun/2	Fox	$23,851,539	$73,921,000	$38M	22	3.10x
8	Kidnap	Aug/4	Aviron	$10,016,323	$30,718,107	$21M	15	3.07x
9	American Made	Sep/22	Universal	$16,776,390	$51,342,000	$50M	11	3.06x
10	Transformers: The Last Knight	Jun/23	Paramount	$44,680,073	$130,168,683	$260M	9	2.91x
11	The Lego Ninjago Movie	Sep/22	Warner Bros.	$20,433,071	$59,281,555	$70M	10	2.90x
12	Kong: Skull Island	Ma10	Warner Bros.	$61,025,472	$168,052,812	$185M	14	2.75x
13	It	Sep/8	Warner Bros.	$123,403,419	$328,828,874	$35M	14	2.66x
14	Kingsman: The Golden Circle	Sep/22	Fox	$39,023,010	$100,234,838	$104M	15	2.57x
15	King Arthur: Legend of the Sword	May/12	Warner Bros.	$15,371,270	$39,175,066	$175M	10	2.55x
16	Rock Dog	Feb/24	Lionsgate	$3,704,749	$9,420,546	$60M	7	2.54x
17	Sleepless	Jan/13	Open Road	$8,344,128	$20,783,704	$30M	8	2.49x
18	Fifty Shades Darker	Feb/10	Universal	$46,607,250	$114,434,010	$55M	7	2.46x
19	American Assassin	Sep/15	Lionsgate	$14,846,778	$36,249,674	$33M	8	2.44x
20	Justice League	Nov/17	Warner Bros.	$93,842,239	$229,024,295	$300M	17	2.44x
21	Underworld: Blood Wars	Jan/6	Sony	$13,688,751	$30,353,973	$35M	9	2.22x

B

22 movies (17.32%) managed to get the grade. Another step down, which indicates word of mouth to be below average or middling. It could still hold on pretty well, but it's not guaranteed. These movies averaged a 2.85x multiplier.

No.	Movie	Date	Studio	Domestic Opening	Domestic Total	Budget	Weeks in theaters	Multiplier
1	All the Money in the World	Dec/25	Sony	$5,584,684	$25,106,325	$50M	12	4.50x
2	A Bad Moms Christmas	Nov/1	STX	$16,759,161	$72,110,659	$28M	10	4.30x
3	Logan Lucky	Aug/18	Bleecker Street	$7,600,036	$27,778,642	$29M	12	3.66x
4	Murder on the Orient Express	Nov/10	Fox	$28,681,472	$102,826,543	$55M	16	3.59x
5	The Emoji Movie	Jul/28	Sony	$24,531,923	$86,089,513	$50M	18	3.51x
6	Home Again	Sep/8	Open Road	$8,567,881	$27,020,284	$15M	9	3.15x
7	Hostiles	Dec/22	Entertainment Studios	$10,110,739	$29,819,114	$39M	20	2.95x
8	Annabelle: Creation	Aug/11	Warner Bros.	$35,006,404	$102,092,201	$15M	12	2.92x
9	Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul	May/19	Fox	$7,126,084	$20,738,724	$22M	13	2.91x
10	Atomic Blonde	Jul/28	Focus Features	$18,286,420	$51,573,925	$30M	9	2.82x
11	Roman J. Israel, Esq.	Nov/17	Sony	$4,447,070	$11,962,712	$22M	14	2.69x
12	The Dark Tower	Aug/4	Sony	$19,153,698	$50,701,325	$66M	11	2.65x
13	Fist Fight	Feb/17	Warner Bros.	$12,201,873	$32,187,017	$25M	8	2.64x
14	Before I Fall	Ma3	Open Road	$4,690,214	$12,241,072	$5M	8	2.61x
15	Birth of the Dragon	Aug/25	BH Tilt	$2,702,430	$6,901,965	$31M	5	2.55x
16	The Great Wall	Feb/17	Universal	$18,469,620	$45,157,105	$150M	7	2.44x
17	Snatched	May/12	Fox	$19,542,248	$45,852,178	$42M	12	2.35x
18	Jigsaw	Oct/27	Lionsgate	$16,640,452	$38,052,832	$10M	12	2.29x
19	Ghost in the Shell	Ma31	Paramount	$18,676,033	$40,563,557	$110M	8	2.17x
20	Happy Death Day	Oct/13	Universal	$26,039,025	$55,683,845	$4.8M	9	2.14x
21	Alien: Covenant	May/19	Fox	$36,160,621	$74,262,031	$97M	15	2.05x
22	Resident Evil: The Final Chapter	Jan/27	Sony	$13,601,682	$26,844,692	$40M	9	1.97x

B–

8 movies (6.29%) managed to get the grade. Word of mouth is now extremely below average and indicates audiences are more disliking it. These movies averaged a 2.83x multiplier.

No.	Movie	Date	Studio	Domestic Opening	Domestic Total	Budget	Weeks in theaters	Multiplier
1	Father Figures	Dec/22	Warner Bros.	$3,821,365	$17,501,244	$25M	8	5.32x
2	The House	Jun/30	Warner Bros.	$8,724,795	$25,584,504	$40M	9	2.93x
3	Flatliners	Sep/29	Sony	$6,574,326	$16,883,115	$19M	8	2.57x
4	The Mummy	Jun/9	Universal	$31,668,375	$80,101,125	$195M	10	2.53x
5	Geostorm	Oct/20	Warner Bros.	$13,707,376	$33,700,160	$130M	12	2.46x
6	CHiPs	Ma24	Warner Bros.	$7,722,802	$18,600,152	$25M	9	2.41x
7	Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets	Jul/21	STX	$17,007,624	$40,479,370	$209M	9	2.38x
8	Gold	Jan/27	The Weinstein Company	$3,471,316	$7,227,038	$20M	6	2.08x

C+

5 movies (3.93%) managed to get the grade. This is where generally horror movies get their ratings. For non-horror movies tho, you better hope it has a compelling premise or it will heavily drop. These movies averaged a 2.08x multiplier.

No.	Movie	Date	Studio	Domestic Opening	Domestic Total	Budget	Weeks in theaters	Multiplier
1	Rough Night	Jun/16	Sony	$8,004,283	$22,105,643	$20M	11	2.76x
2	Life	Ma24	Sony	$12,501,936	$30,234,022	$58M	10	2.42x
3	Friend Request	Sep/22	Entertainment Studios	$2,002,863	$3,759,078	$10M	10	1.88x
4	A Cure for Wellness	Feb/17	Fox	$4,356,941	$8,106,986	$40M	5	1.86x
5	Collide	Feb/24	Open Road	$1,512,824	$2,280,004	$29.2M	2	1.51x

C

6 movies (4.72%) managed to get the grade. Even worse word of mouth, but these movies had some middling to outright terrible response. These movies averaged a 2.90x multiplier.

No.	Movie	Date	Studio	Domestic Opening	Domestic Total	Budget	Weeks in theaters	Multiplier
1	Downsizing	Dec/22	Paramount	$4,954,287	$24,449,754	$68M	6	4.94x
2	47 Meters Down	Jun/16	Entertainment Studios	$11,205,562	$44,307,193	$5.3M	18	3.95x
3	Wish Upon	Jul/14	Broad Green	$5,467,084	$14,301,505	$12M	13	2.62x
4	Unforgettable	Ap21	Warner Bros.	$4,785,431	$11,368,012	$21.5M	6	2.38x
5	Just Getting Started	Dec/8	Broad Green	$3,201,459	$6,069,605	$22M	7	1.90x
6	The Bye Bye Man	Jan/13	STX	$13,501,349	$22,395,806	$7.4M	5	1.66x

C–

2 movies (1.57%) managed to get the grade. The future is not bright here. These movies averaged a 2.06x multiplier.

No.	Movie	Date	Studio	Domestic Opening	Domestic Total	Budget	Weeks in theaters	Multiplier
1	Rings	Feb/3	Paramount	$13,002,632	$27,793,018	$25M	7	2.14x
2	Phoenix Forgotten	Ap21	Entertainment Studios	$1,816,499	$3,600,146	$2.8M	8	1.98x

D+

Only one movie (0.78%) managed to get the grade. Even for horror movie standards, this is outright toxic word of mouth. This movie averaged a 2.27x multiplier.

No.	Movie	Date	Studio	Domestic Opening	Domestic Total	Budget	Weeks in theaters	Multiplier
1	The Circle	Ap28	STX	$9,034,148	$20,497,844	$18M	6	2.27x

D

2 movies (1.57%) managed to get the grade. The feeling of hate grows. If your movie is advertised as something it isn't, you're doomed. This movie averaged a 2.16x multiplier.

No.	Movie	Date	Studio	Domestic Opening	Domestic Total	Budget	Weeks in theaters	Multiplier
1	It Comes at Night	Jun/9	A24	$5,988,370	$13,985,117	$2.4M	15	2.34x
2	The Snowman	Oct/20	Universal	$3,372,565	$6,670,765	$35M	4	1.98x

D–

Only one movie (0.78%) managed to get the grade. Even though it's above the F grade, this is the rarest grade that a movie could achieve. The movie must have pissed off nearly everyone to get this. This movie averaged a 2.03x multiplier.

No.	Movie	Date	Studio	Domestic Opening	Domestic Total	Budget	Weeks in theaters	Multiplier
1	Suburbicon	Oct/27	Paramount	$2,840,246	$5,775,178	$25M	3	2.03x

F

Only one movie (0.78%) managed to get the grade. The most dreaded grade. Word of mouth is completely dead and this will drop like a rock. This movie averaged a 2.34x multiplier.

No.	Movie	Date	Studio	Domestic Opening	Domestic Total	Budget	Weeks in theaters	Multiplier
1	mother!	Sep/15	Paramount	$7,534,673	$17,800,004	$30M	6	2.34x

Oh my Gd... My partner said I needed pants because I just go out in lounge pants and sleep pants all the time and he was embarrassed when he was out with me.
Me and my roommate ordered Mexican food and my boyfriend and I went to pick it up but we had some time to kill.
We went to Marshalls and he said let's split up and I'll go to the men's and then you go to the plus size department.. and I said I'm not plus size and he said oh and that he didn't know what size I was and didn't mean anything by it.
I saw these cute cargo pants (size Large) and thought maybe I found baggy enough clothes to where I would feel comfortable wearing them. I just wanted to get them because I didn't want to risk the chance of going into the dressing room and them not fitting.
It was a big step for me to even start wearing sleep pants on the first place, I only wore oversized skirts for years because I wanted to hide my body and I was afraid of people laughing at me. I showed the pants to him and asked if he liked them and he said yeah and that I should try them on so we can get them.
My heart dropped. I didn't want to tell him why I didn't want to try them on. And he was being reasonable because we don't know what the return policy is and it's better to know before you buy them. I went into the dressing room and put them on and looked in the mirror. I had such a flabby flat ass and a large mid section so there was no curves just a huge block of flesh that people refer to as my body. I took them off and put my old clothes on and was walking out of the dressing room. As I was walking out, the girl in the changing room next to me came out in the exact same pants I just tried on and she looked amazing. She was calling out to her friend to come look and see if she should keep them or not and then the friend came and hyped her up and was saying how great her ass looked.
I returned to my boyfriend who has picked up another pair of pants to try on and they were a size medium and he said they were men's size and that we could share them. I told him I didn't want to try anything else on and I wanted to go home and he kept suggesting to keep looking for more pants.. I was about to cry and he asked if trying the clothes on had triggered me. I was just silent the whole carride home and he kept saying he was sorry even though he didn't do anything wrong and he kept trying to make me feel better which felt even more humiliating.
I told him I would follow him to the house and I just needed to be alone for a minute and I have been having a tantrum in my car by screaming, sobbing, slapping myself, biting myself, pulling out my hair asking for Gd to strike me down because I'm selfish and vain and that I don't think I can handle going through life while my body deteriorates because if this is the best it's going to get them there's no telling how much I'm going to hate myself when I'm old.
I'm like that fat wife in the sopranos that cries when people make jokes at about how fat she is and then her husband comforts her and it just makes her feel worse because she knows he's just doing it not because the jokes are wrong but because he loves the person she is inside.
I'm too busy self destructing to count my blessings and I think that may be because then I couldn't just sallow in my own self pity. If I sat down and realized the opportunity I have in life instead of feeling such despair then I would have to actually put work in.
I wanted to put this out there because I'm looking for solace from somewhere even though I don't deserve it.

Oh my Gd... My partner said I needed pants because I just go out in lounge pants and sleep pants all the time and he was embarrassed when he was out with me.
Me and my roommate ordered Mexican food and my boyfriend and I went to pick it up but we had some time to kill.
We went to Marshalls and he said let's split up and I'll go to the men's and then you go to the plus size department.. and I said I'm not plus size and he said oh and that he didn't know what size I was and didn't mean anything by it.
I saw these cute cargo pants (size Large) and thought maybe I found baggy enough clothes to where I would feel comfortable wearing them. I just wanted to get them because I didn't want to risk the chance of going into the dressing room and them not fitting.
It was a big step for me to even start wearing sleep pants on the first place, I only wore oversized skirts for years because I wanted to hide my body and I was afraid of people laughing at me. I showed the pants to him and asked if he liked them and he said yeah and that I should try them on so we can get them.
My heart dropped. I didn't want to tell him why I didn't want to try them on. And he was being reasonable because we don't know what the return policy is and it's better to know before you buy them. I went into the dressing room and put them on and looked in the mirror. I had such a flabby flat ass and a large mid section so there was no curves just a huge block of flesh that people refer to as my body. I took them off and put my old clothes on and was walking out of the dressing room. As I was walking out, the girl in the changing room next to me came out in the exact same pants I just tried on and she looked amazing. She was calling out to her friend to come look and see if she should keep them or not and then the friend came and hyped her up and was saying how great her ass looked.
I returned to my boyfriend who has picked up another pair of pants to try on and they were a size medium and he said they were men's size and that we could share them. I told him I didn't want to try anything else on and I wanted to go home and he kept suggesting to keep looking for more pants.. I was about to cry and he asked if trying the clothes on had triggered me. I was just silent the whole carride home and he kept saying he was sorry even though he didn't do anything wrong and he kept trying to make me feel better which felt even more humiliating.
I told him I would follow him to the house and I just needed to be alone for a minute and I have been having a tantrum in my car by screaming, sobbing, slapping myself, biting myself, pulling out my hair asking for Gd to strike me down because I'm selfish and vain and that I don't think I can handle going through life while my body deteriorates because if this is the best it's going to get them there's no telling how much I'm going to hate myself when I'm old.
I'm like that fat wife in the sopranos that cries when people make jokes at about how fat she is and then her husband comforts her and it just makes her feel worse because she knows he's just doing it not because the jokes are wrong but because he loves the person she is inside.
I'm too busy self destructing to count my blessings and I think that may be because then I couldn't just sallow in my own self pity. If I sat down and realized the opportunity I have in life instead of feeling such despair then I would have to actually put work in.
I wanted to put this out there because I'm looking for solace from somewhere even though I don't deserve it.

Oh my Gd... My partner said I needed pants because I just go out in lounge pants and sleep pants all the time and he was embarrassed when he was out with me.
Me and my roommate ordered Mexican food and my boyfriend and I went to pick it up but we had some time to kill.
We went to Marshalls and he said let's split up and I'll go to the men's and then you go to the plus size department.. and I said I'm not plus size and he said oh and that he didn't know what size I was and didn't mean anything by it.
I saw these cute cargo pants (size Large) and thought maybe I found baggy enough clothes to where I would feel comfortable wearing them. I just wanted to get them because I didn't want to risk the chance of going into the dressing room and them not fitting.
It was a big step for me to even start wearing sleep pants on the first place, I only wore oversized skirts for years because I wanted to hide my body and I was afraid of people laughing at me. I showed the pants to him and asked if he liked them and he said yeah and that I should try them on so we can get them.
My heart dropped. I didn't want to tell him why I didn't want to try them on. And he was being reasonable because we don't know what the return policy is and it's better to know before you buy them. I went into the dressing room and put them on and looked in the mirror. I had such a flabby flat ass and a large mid section so there was no curves just a huge block of flesh that people refer to as my body. I took them off and put my old clothes on and was walking out of the dressing room. As I was walking out, the girl in the changing room next to me came out in the exact same pants I just tried on and she looked amazing. She was calling out to her friend to come look and see if she should keep them or not and then the friend came and hyped her up and was saying how great her ass looked.
I returned to my boyfriend who has picked up another pair of pants to try on and they were a size medium and he said they were men's size and that we could share them. I told him I didn't want to try anything else on and I wanted to go home and he kept suggesting to keep looking for more pants.. I was about to cry and he asked if trying the clothes on had triggered me. I was just silent the whole carride home and he kept saying he was sorry even though he didn't do anything wrong and he kept trying to make me feel better which felt even more humiliating.
I told him I would follow him to the house and I just needed to be alone for a minute and I have been having a tantrum in my car by screaming, sobbing, slapping myself, biting myself, pulling out my hair asking for Gd to strike me down because I'm selfish and vain and that I don't think I can handle going through life while my body deteriorates because if this is the best it's going to get them there's no telling how much I'm going to hate myself when I'm old.
I'm like that fat wife in the sopranos that cries when people make jokes at about how fat she is and then her husband comforts her and it just makes her feel worse because she knows he's just doing it not because the jokes are wrong but because he loves the person she is inside.
I'm too busy self destructing to count my blessings and I think that may be because then I couldn't just sallow in my own self pity. If I sat down and realized the opportunity I have in life instead of feeling such despair then I would have to actually put work in.
I wanted to put this out there because I'm looking for solace from somewhere even though I don't deserve it.

Hello everyone! Welcome to Wrestlemania Week. As a LA native myself, if you are coming in from out of town and want any ideas as to where to meet up with other Wrestling fans after Smackdown, Hall of Fame, WrestleCon, Wrestlemania etc. I have created a list of cool places where hopefully other wrestling fans can meet up, talk about the show, and party. Some places you might have to pay but most are free.
Hollywood Blvd: Madame Siam (underground bar with a carnival vibe,) Scum and Villainy Cantina (cool geeky Star Wars themed bar with cosplay encouraged) Good Times at Davey Waynes (70's era themed bar) Beetle House LA (Another cool geeky bar with more 80s slasher themed cosplayers) Bar Sinister (Goth Metal themed Nightclub with a strick all black dress code but last time I was in, I saw someone in a Stone Cold Steve Austin shirt) Jameson Bar , and Cabo Cantina
Koreatown: Breakroom 86-80's era themed bar with all 80s music and a few arcades and Karaoke rooms, Cafe Brass Monkey- Another Karaoke bar on a much more smaller, more intimate scale.
Santa Monica: The Bungalow-Kind of a Frat Boy Fraternity type vibe but its a big open space next to the beach with couches, fire place, and a pool table and pong, The Room Santa Monica-another underground bar that plays great music but gets crowded quick. Main Street- Jameson Bar, Circle Bar
Hermosa Beach Pier: The Lighthouse-Live Music themed club with a stage and outside area. American Junkie-multi-room club that plays different music on each side, sometimes with a live band, Sharkees- Two story bar with an eating area up top and a dance atmosphere at the bottom. Multiple TVs too to each watch the game or AEW Rampage on. Underground Pub & Grill-TV's, seating area, pool table and darts
Venice Beach: Townhouse- Pool table on the top, an underground club with live music downstairs with an outside area to boot. The Brig-Large outside area to mingle and chill as well as an inside area to dance and play pool. RoosterFish: Has Stand up comedy on Thursdays but turns into a normal bar on the weekends. Hinano Cafe-very chill vibe with TV and, of course, a pool table.
El Segundo: El Segundo Brewing Company, The Tavern on Main, Rock and Brews, Purple Orchid and Brewport Tap House
Downtown near Cypto.com Arena: Queensberry, SevenGrand LA, Ace Hotel, La Cita Bar, Broken Shaker Roof Top Bar
So thats the list so far from my personal experience! If any other LA natives have any other suggestions, please feel free to add on! Good luck and enjoy Wrestlemania Week!

(Note: there will be some elements of Emotional abuse in this story, so fair warning.)
​
Okay, a bit of a backstory to how this all happened, I'm 15 years old and a freshman student in my local high school in the town I live in, but this all began back during the 6th grade in middle school during the extended summer break during Covid 19, my sister, who Ill call Entitled Guardian for this story, moved back in with me and my family, at first, things seemed to go well, taking us to a pizza restaurant.
But sometime after, it spiraled down hill, she grew lazy, complained that she has to drive us everywhere, even though my mom was traumatized about a car crash in Newfoundland long before my family moved to Alberta sometime in 2015 or 2017. With that said, Entitled Guardian took a bad grudge to me and my family, blamed us for everything went wrong in her life, and in 2022, my brother, 16 years old, punched her windshield in response to the mistreatment.
I don't know how this all went down or where me and my family went wrong, or what to do in this time. she is also cruel to her own son, screaming, smacking, and barring him from having fun, leaving me and my 17 year old sister to watch him one monday evening.
With all that said, What can me and my family do to get Entitled Guardian going to the right direction again?

My (27M) roommate (25M) asked to borrow my car a few weeks ago to take his girlfriend on a trip. I told him sure, no problem. He’s borrowed my car before and it’s been no issue. However, I live in PA and we got notification today that our water is not drinkable/able to be used for cooking due to a chemical spill. This is kind of a big deal and even though we were able to get some water for the house, things like showers and everything are still kind of sus in my opinion. My girlfriend is also studying for a major test and I didn’t want her to have to worry about water while she was doing that. My family has a vacation home a few hours away, and I told my roommate I was really sorry but given the circumstances I was going to need the car to head out of town with my girlfriend. I offered to take my roommates with me but a few had work and the roommate in question wanted to go on his trip still. Well, he got pretty miffed with me and insinuated I should help him pay for a rental so he could still go. I thought this was pretty bold, and wasn’t about to volunteer to do that - it got kinda awkward and I left. So, AITA for taking back my offer given the unforeseen circumstances?
Tldr; told my roommate he could have my car for the weekend, but then the water supply got contaminated and I decided to leave town (offering to take ppl with me)

Frequently get asked out by woman in public places which seems bold of them because I really don’t think I look gay? Examples: Started a new job, went to ask some kitchen staff if they had any extra trash bags since our floor ran out (I don’t work in the kitchen, but there’s a big kitchen at the corp I work for) and one girl who admittedly I do find really beautiful, always makes very prolonged eye contact and says my name a different way. Thought it was all In my head until I came up the other day and she got close to me and did the same thing for the 4th or 5th time but this time we were in a very tight space that she brought us to in order to get some supplies, I say thank you and she is staring into my eyes and then after like 20 seconds, “you’re welcome my name” very slowly with a smile. I got super taken off guard because I never intended to flirt or anything of the sort with her (and I didn’t) she just kept staring at me and I got flustered because it hit me that she definitely knew I was gay and her body language was very engaging. Maybe a bad example? How the fuck do woman know I’m gay lol.
Other example: I got gas pretty late at night after work in a dif town from my own. A girl keeps saying stuff girls say often to each other in a non gay way (or so I thought?) “you’re so beautiful” etc. I said thanks and walked out the door, girl waited for me outside and said I was making her blush “you have me blushing you’re just so cute” I said thank you again and went to my car — she came out to my car window after I was done putting gas in about to drive away and hands me her # and instagram handle on a piece of paper asking if I’d go on a date with her sometime.
TLDR: Consider myself a fem, and everyone seems to know I’m gay (strangers a, family, etc) without telling them. How do people know?

I wish I could just shove this moment down, but I can't forget about it, and that's why I have come to talk about my trauma on the internet to get it off my chest. I woke up from bed and turned on the TV to rewatch "any sport in a storm", but when I turned on the TV everything was weird, Luz and the gang were in their season 3 appearances and they were suddenly in the human realm somehow, Masha walked up to Luz and asked where Amity and the others were, Luz told Masha that they were driving around town while Luz was at school, then it cut to Amity, Willow, Hunter and Gus in the car, but then a car slams into the vehicle as an explosion is heard, for a second I heard Boscha's voice in the background, before I could process what just happened, it cuts to Luz coming home from school and turning on the TV, on the TV it shows the news talking about the car crash and the 4 victims, as the TV shuts off Luz is heard crying in the background while her mother comforts her. The scene almost made me want to turn it off but I was unable to shut it down. Camila and Luz drove to the therapist to have a talk, the session was the least shocking until Luz spotted Boscha in the waiting room, it cuts back to Luz With her face covered in shadow like the trollege image I saw with only a white pupil and grin peaking out. Then Luz grabbed a fire axe and lunged at Boscha, she pinned Boscha to the ground and started slashing the axe into her face, every time the blood flew I flinched in fear, when the scene was done Luz's eyes were nothing but black voids with small white pupils, she ran out of the building and took the axe with her. In the next moment she stalked the blonde girl from her school and sliced her arms off, it was the most gruesome thing I have ever seen on a show, but when I saw Luz find a portal to the demon realm my heart sank, she started killing Boscha's friends and other students at Hexside with each kill being more gruesome than the next, with skara's being the worst one, I don't have the courage to describe the scene right now but the radio that plays in the town hall later will give you a perfect image of the scene. Suddenly Luz started preforming a ritual and managed to summon the demon, for some reason the sound was cut but I don't think I want to know what they were discussing. Then Luz was shown chasing Viney through the town hall until Viney hid in one of the house, as she was hiding in the closet, the radio was playing "victim 1 eyeballs and skin were unable to be found, unknown fingerprints were found on the neck of the corpse". I half expected a jumps-scare to happen but nobody came, then smoke started to appear around the house, Viney tried to get out but the door was jammed, and as I was resisting to faint, Luz stood right next to the body and lit it with a match, then Luz walked to a gravesite for Eda and King, and placed a rose on both the graves. After a few more murder scene that left me traumatized the episode cut to a bloodied Bria shooting a Glock at Luz as she slowly comes towards Bria until she gets bashed on the head by Matt, then Matt and Bria ran out of the house and locked the door as they burnt the place to the ground. At first my heart finally eased as the smoke cleared, but when guards were checking the crime scene, Luz sprung up this time with taller limbs made of obsidian and jagged teeth and sliced the guards head off with an axe, but as she was going to bite the head off another guard the title card popped up reading "killing and smiling" as "its just a burning memory" played in the background. In was finally able to shut off the TV and rushed to the bathroom to throw up, one thing I forgot to mention is that I had a video recording of the episode on my phone so I rushed to the computer and uploaded it the theowlhouse. I later deleted the video in fear of Disney taking it down, but then I got a letter that read
"Dear Tom: it has come to my knowledge that a person I used to know has subjected you to very violent footage, I am very sorry and if you need protection or are feeling threatened please call ###-###-#### and put in your address, I wish you a wonderful day
Waverley P."
Ever since that incident I threw away my old TV and replaced it with a better one, and shockingly I never had any problems since

The [Kunama] are one of the indigenous tribes inhabiting the areas around the Setit and Gash river basin, which extends up to and along the Eritrean and Sudanese border in Eritrea and the adjacent districts of Humera and Adi Abo in the Tigray National Regional State in North-western Ethiopia. The Kunama people are nominally divided into four main groups: Kunama Aimasa, living in the western part of the provincial capital town of Barentu; Kunama Barka, living along the river Gash in the south-eastern part of Barentu; Kunama Marda, residing in the north-eastern part of Barentu; and Kunama Tika, living along the river Gash in the southern part of Barentu" (Ethiopia Humanitarian Update 28 Feb 2002).
The Eritrean government changed the name of the Gash-Setit region to Gash-Barka in 1995 when there was an administrative restructuring in the country. This region is relatively rich in resources. According to a study by Alexander Naty, a professor in the Department of Anthropology at Asmara University:
"There is a great deal of fertile land for farming not only staple food crops such as sorghum, millet and a variety of legumes but also cash crops such as cotton and sesame. There has been a belief that considers the Gash-Setit region as [the] breadbasket of Eritrea. The notion of breadbasket encourages the establishment of large scale farms in the area. The promotion of such farms has been causing environmental degradation in the country….The Gash-Setit region is endowed with pastureland [where] pastoral societies graze their livestock. Communities such as the Tigre and Hedareb graze their camels, cattle and goats in the area. This situation has brought these societies in conflict with the Kunama. According to oral history the conflicts that took place between the Kunama and the coalition of Tigre, Hedareb and the Nara in the 1940s and 1950s were all caused by competition over grazing land" (Naty 2002).
Settlement of people from other areas in the Gash-Setit region was limited during the period of Italian colonialism, under the imperial regime of Haile Selassie, and up to the period of independence. But, settlements "increased alarmingly after [Eritrean] independence" (Naty 2002):
"Since 1991 the area has witnessed the settlement of populations from other regions of Eritrea (particularly highland parts of the country) demobilized ex-fighters and returnees from Sudan….The 1998 conflict between Eritrea and Ethiopia has also resulted in the settlement of the internally displaced populations from the Tigrinya ethnic group in Kunama villages, such as Delle, Tolegamaja and Karkon" (Naty 2002).
According to Naty:
"The [Eritrean government] policy that made all land state property has encouraged the settlement of people from other regions of Eritrea in the area. The settlers compete with the local populations over the utilization of resources. The competition over scarce resources often leads to tension. The agricultural policy of the state encourages big commercial farms. The individuals who own these commercial farms are mostly from the Tigrinya ethnic group. The land policy of the Eritrean government undermines the clan-based traditional ownership of land among the Kunama" (Naty 2002).
Horn of Africa specialist Patrick Gilkes states that the Kunama "have suffered extensively at the hands of Tigrinya speaking highlanders who have encroached on their lands, in the past and since Eritrean independence" (BBC News 23 May 2000).

The [Kunama] are one of the indigenous tribes inhabiting the areas around the Setit and Gash river basin, which extends up to and along the Eritrean and Sudanese border in Eritrea and the adjacent districts of Humera and Adi Abo in the Tigray National Regional State in North-western Ethiopia. The Kunama people are nominally divided into four main groups: Kunama Aimasa, living in the western part of the provincial capital town of Barentu; Kunama Barka, living along the river Gash in the south-eastern part of Barentu; Kunama Marda, residing in the north-eastern part of Barentu; and Kunama Tika, living along the river Gash in the southern part of Barentu" (Ethiopia Humanitarian Update 28 Feb 2002).
The Eritrean government changed the name of the Gash-Setit region to Gash-Barka in 1995 when there was an administrative restructuring in the country. This region is relatively rich in resources. According to a study by Alexander Naty, a professor in the Department of Anthropology at Asmara University:
"There is a great deal of fertile land for farming not only staple food crops such as sorghum, millet and a variety of legumes but also cash crops such as cotton and sesame. There has been a belief that considers the Gash-Setit region as [the] breadbasket of Eritrea. The notion of breadbasket encourages the establishment of large scale farms in the area. The promotion of such farms has been causing environmental degradation in the country….The Gash-Setit region is endowed with pastureland [where] pastoral societies graze their livestock. Communities such as the Tigre and Hedareb graze their camels, cattle and goats in the area. This situation has brought these societies in conflict with the Kunama. According to oral history the conflicts that took place between the Kunama and the coalition of Tigre, Hedareb and the Nara in the 1940s and 1950s were all caused by competition over grazing land" (Naty 2002).
Settlement of people from other areas in the Gash-Setit region was limited during the period of Italian colonialism, under the imperial regime of Haile Selassie, and up to the period of independence. But, settlements "increased alarmingly after [Eritrean] independence" (Naty 2002):
"Since 1991 the area has witnessed the settlement of populations from other regions of Eritrea (particularly highland parts of the country) demobilized ex-fighters and returnees from Sudan….The 1998 conflict between Eritrea and Ethiopia has also resulted in the settlement of the internally displaced populations from the Tigrinya ethnic group in Kunama villages, such as Delle, Tolegamaja and Karkon" (Naty 2002).
According to Naty:
"The [Eritrean government] policy that made all land state property has encouraged the settlement of people from other regions of Eritrea in the area. The settlers compete with the local populations over the utilization of resources. The competition over scarce resources often leads to tension. The agricultural policy of the state encourages big commercial farms. The individuals who own these commercial farms are mostly from the Tigrinya ethnic group. The land policy of the Eritrean government undermines the clan-based traditional ownership of land among the Kunama" (Naty 2002).
Horn of Africa specialist Patrick Gilkes states that the Kunama "have suffered extensively at the hands of Tigrinya speaking highlanders who have encroached on their lands, in the past and since Eritrean independence" (BBC News 23 May 2000).

Hi everyone,
I'm hoping for some advice on a vehicle purchase from you wise people. I appreciate all the time you guys put in to answering questions and helping others. Can't believe this shit is free!
I'm a 26 year old looking for a vehicle to suit my lifestyle (I don't have a car right now):

• My lifestyle includes a lot of camping, backcountry skiing, spearfishing (wet gear, +1 truck bed), backpacking, road trips, etc.
• It would not be a daily driver as I bike commute to work, only used in town for the odd errand.
• For that reason, gas mileage isn't the number one factor, however I have around a 3 hour drive to the places I'd be most frequently recreating, so there is logic to having something better on gas if I'm doing that approach every other weekend a lot of the year.
• I live on Vancouver Island in BC where the forest roads are super rough compared to other places I've spent time. Not overlanding per se, just want something to get me to some remote beaches and mountains where there's often big rocks and deep snow in the way.
• Hoping to have something to be able to sleep in during the winter, in a truck that would mean in the bed, if something else I'd look into a rooftop tent.
• Reliability is quite valuable to me, the stress of having a money pit and some dread around that is a big reason I've avoided car ownership for most of my life.
• Some ideas I've been considering, but please let me know if I should look into others:
  • Toyota Tacoma - I borrowed my mom's newer Tacoma for a few months and supremely enjoyed it, bombing it through 40cm of untracked snow at the ski hill and everything else. Love the idea of it but is it overkill?
  • Subaru Outback - plus the best snow tires money can buy and maybe a rooftop tent? Everyone here has got one but maybe for good reason. If this route - should I be looking at a V6 outback?
  • Nissan Xterra - could be good but can find almost none in my area.
  • Nissan Frontier - seems like the Tacoma alternative where I can get a bit more truck or save some money.
  • Honda Ridgeline - is this the happy middle-ground I should be giving more thought to? Doesn't work to sleep in, but good on gas and still passable off road. Older ones so ugly.
  • Toyota 4Runner - I'd love one but the market is so high for them and I figure for the price and gas mileage I'd rather get a truck. Maybe I'm off base there.
• My budget is roughly $20K CDN give or take.

Also - I've heard some say that Subarus are better in snow than a lot of 4WD trucks, how does this work? Is that due to truck beds being light so lacking traction, or just the great AWD system on subarus? This would be a big factor. My roommate and girlfriend both have Foresters, so as my most likely adventure partners it feels redundant to get the same, although perhaps I'm overthinking.
Thanks for your time!

Now that we just have one more week of Lent before Holy Week, how are you doing? Anything you want to share about your thoughts or practice this Lent? Thought I'd post another one of these (previous post was "mid Lent check in" or something like that) if anyone wanted to ruminate over how their Lent has gone and what they want to focus on in this last week.
For myself, I have stuck to the no alcohol except on Sundays, and I have stuck to the praying 3x a day on weekdays (largely because I set phone alarms to remind me!), but I sort of feel like I've learned all I can from giving up alcohol for Lent. I think this is maybe my 6th or 7th year of doing that? I want to do something different next year - maybe give up meat M W F, and add morning prayer on weekdays. I'm finding that the praying 3x a day when my alarms go off is helpful, I definitely feel like I'm in the middle of some kind of spiritual growth or transformation, but I think rather than three short intervals of praying maybe one longer, more focused prayer time would be better. I've had a rough Lent health-wise and random personal drama-wise (car died and had to replace it, dealing with another kid bullying my kid at preschool, etc) and am looking forward to a season of joy and rest.
So that's me, where are you at? What do you want out of the remainder of your Lent, or looking ahead to Holy Week and Easter season?

I want to talk to you about the boy next door.
I first noticed him when we arrived here. Mom was moving in all of our boxes and furniture, and I was sitting on one of mom’s boxes labelled “fragile” downing ice-cold lemonade.
It wasn’t exactly the weather for cold drinks, but I was pooped after spending my morning and half of my afternoon going back and forth with all of our stuff. It was just a glimpse.
One of the movers asked me to help him with a box of kitchen equipment. I was struggling to get a proper grip of it, twisting around to shout that I needed help—when I saw him.
Not much of a person, more of a shadow poking from behind the fence. What I could make out was a tallish figure and mousey hair.
I lifted my hand in a greeting, but the guy walked away. I didn’t think much of it.
Maybe he was shy.
Though I was curious about my neighbors. I was expecting them to join the parade of families on our doorstep harbouring every food you can imagine, but they stayed away. I did know a family existed next door, however. There was a large wooden fence separating us. So, if I really wanted to talk to them I’d either have to grow several feet taller or invest in stilts. I’m not sure why I was so obsessed with meeting them.
I knew they had kids my age. I could hear them.
Whether they were arguing over video games, or laughing at something trivial, I could always hear them when I was sitting on our wooden porch or helping mom clean our yard.
According to mom, who heard it from the nice lady across the street, our neighbors were called the Wilders.
There was a single mom, and her four teenage kids.
Huh, I thought. So the mystery shadow guy must have been a Wilder kid.
I was told to not get too excited, though. Apparently, Mrs Wilder was very protective over her children and home-schooled them.
So, there was no chance of me making friends or even getting to know them. On our second day in our new home, mom told me over breakfast that Mrs Wilder had sent out a polite notice to the neighbourhood that her children were not to be disturbed or talked to. Which was crazy. I thought that was weird. But mom understood it—and to my annoyance, accepted the woman’s notice. I was warned not to talk to the Wilder children.
And if I did, that was an automatic week grounding. Which meant no diner, no seeing friends after school, and my phone privileges taken away. According to her, she figured they were just a private family and wanted to accept that. She theorised the kids had been bullied at public school and had to be home-schooled. But I was sceptical. “All of them?” I’d asked her through a mouthful of cereal.
“Phoebe.” Mom sent me a warning look, sipping her coffee. “What we’re going to do is respect Mrs Wilder’s wishes.”
“It’s child abuse.” I muttered into my frosted flakes. Only for mom to reach across the table and poke me with the prongs of her fork.
“Ow!”
“Don’t play with your food.”
“I’m not playing with my food.” I held up a spoonful of soggy cereal. “You just never get the chocolate brand. These taste like sandpaper.”
“We are going to be respectable neighbors,” mom said, ignoring me. “So, you are not going to speak to those kids. Do you understand?”
I knew mom only wanted to abide by the weird rules because she was obsessed with joining the mom’s club, or whatever they were called, but it didn’t make sense to me that his woman wasn’t letting her own kids have a social life.
At a younger age, maybe eleven or twelve, I could understand. But seventeen? That was almost college age. What, was she expecting to coddle them forever?
Did she really think these kids were going to stay with her? Seventeen was the age of finding first loves and making mistakes. Not staying at home with mommy dearest. “Okay, but would you do this to me?” I asked her. “Would you really lock me up and stop me from going outside and living my life?”
Mom had been spreading butter on bread. I didn’t realise her mood had drastically changed until she was almost slicing her finger with the knife. “You don’t know this yet because you are far too young,” she lifted her head, her lips curving into a smile. “But there is something called a mother’s instinct. When our children are born, we are overcome with an almost… feral need to protect them from danger. If you look it up, it is present is every creature. Every mother. Our children are worth more than ourselves. We give our own lives to keep them alive. You can roll your eyes and say it’s stupid, but I’m sure as soon as you have your own child, you will feel the exact same with them.”
She nodded at me. “I had that with you. I… I still have it with you, Phoebe. No matter how old you are. When you were a baby, I wanted to hold you in my arms every second of every day. I hated it when people wanted to hold you, and you were such a clingy baby. Always cradled to my chest. As you grew up, I started to understand that you were seeing the world for the first time and you needed your own time and space. I let you take your first steps on your own. I cried when you said your first word—and when I grabbed your hand and raced down the kindergarten steps for the first time. Letting you go was painful. And if I had a choice in the matter? Yes, I would keep you in here. I would stop you from going outside and seeing this world.” She dropped the knife with a startling, metallic clang, before picking it back up.
“Because this planet is a scary place, Phoebe. And as mother’s, it is our job to keep our kids safe. Even if that means going to the slightest of extremes.”
“Slightest of extremes?” I scoffed, despite knowing I was being pedantic. “They have to fly the nest! That’s called growing up!”
Ignoring her glare, I continued.
“Yes, I believe in mother’s instinct. But at what point do you have to look at yourself and realise you’re being ridiculous? Seventeen year olds aren’t infants. They won’t just blindly walk into traffic. They have self-awareness of what is wrong and right.”
I pointed at myself. “You let me drive, right? I got my license. Where was your ‘mother instinct’ when I got myself a big-girl vehicle I could easily have an accident in?”
Mom curled her lip. “Don’t push it.”
Leaning across the table, I fixed her with a smile. “See? You trust me, mom. You let me grow up. That’s the difference between you and Mrs Wilder. Kids have to grow up. No matter what the circumstances are. It’s just part of being human. We all grow up and leave our parents.”
I sent her a look, stirring the soggy soup of my cereal. “Well. Unless you’re Mrs Wilder.”
Mom finished her coffee and stood up. “You don’t even know these children. They could be in any stage of development which makes them very different to you. All kids mentally age at different points.”
She took her plate to the faucet and dumped it in the bowl. Mom washed the dishes when she was angry or stressed, and she was really going to town on our brand new pattern plates. I saw that as a mark of finality. “I’m done talking about this, okay? You’re not eighteen yet which means you abide by my rules, and really, Phoebe, I’m not exactly holding you prisoner. I’m just asking you to be polite and follow a simple rule which is not hard. We are a new family, and we need to make a good impression. Which means no talking to Mrs Wilder’s children.” She cleared her throat.
“Respect our neighbour’s wishes or lose your phone.”
Ducking my head, I continued to stir my cereal into a mushy soup which had quickly become unappetising. It looked like barf. I pushed it away. “You only want me to follow the rules so you can get into Mrs Becker’s book club and go on Pilate dates with middle aged Karen’s.”
Mom dropped a plate in the sink, and the sound of the splash made me flinch slightly.
“Is that understood?”
“Yes.” I said, rolling my eyes. “Obviously, I will abide by this street’s draconian rules so I can continue scrolling through Tik-Tok.”
It was sarcasm, but I wasn’t sure my mother could detect it. She was so blinded by becoming one with our neighbors.
Why was she so obsessed with meeting all the other mom’s anyway?
Was she planning on setting me up on a playdate with 3 year old Evie? I wouldn’t put it past her doing that for the brownie points.
“Good. End of conversation.” Mom said, hurrying to get her jacket and bag. “I’m late for work, and you have an induction to get to.”
I wanted to argue further because this sounded unfair. The kids were teenagers, right? How were they not arguing against this? It seemed insane that they were going along with what their mother said. But I was aware of significant punishment if I broke this rule. So, I begrudgingly agreed. After my induction, I asked around new friends and classmates if anybody knew of the Wilder kids, and they did.
But they didn’t want to elaborate on what they knew. I heard a lot of rumours with dead ends. Most of them involved a father who had walked out on them, and their mother going into ultra-protective mode in response. It sounded like these kids were bearing the brunt of a messy divorce. They were complete enigma’s.
I didn’t know anything about them except from their insanely overprotective mother’s wicked grip on them. I gave up being curious. Mom was serious about me not speaking not them. She gave me a lecture on respecting the woman’s privacy, and blah, blah, blah. I tuned out after five minutes, my attention flicking to an episode of Breaking Bad playing on the lounge TV.
The next few weeks were boring. Mom was invited to join Mrs Beck’s book club, so on Monday’s at 5PM, I made myself scarce. I did exactly what mom said. I ignored the kids next door. My bedroom happened to be facing the room of one of the kids, but their dark blue curtains were always shut. Sometimes it was hard. When I was sitting in the yard, reading a book, I could hear them on the other side of the fence.
The boys were the most vocal, laughing and teasing each other. There was a point when I risked it. I jumped to my feet and got halfway across the expanse of grass, standing on the tips of my toes and trying to catch a peek. But mom was calling me inside. I swore she had eyes in the back of my head. Mom always knew when I was outside. When I was near the fence.
It wasn’t until a month had gone by when I finally got a glimpse of a Wilder kid. I had just gotten back from school. I’d dumped my backpack on my bed and grabbed my phone, slumping onto my bed to text my friends and mindlessly scroll through social media. I noticed movement at the corner of my eye, and when I’d lifted my head, blinking rapidly—those same blue curtains which had shut me out for what felt so long—they were open. Not just that.
I could see a bedroom smothered in personality. I glimpsed a hardwood desk strewn with paper and an expensive laptop, a blue bedspread, a beaten up guitar leaning against light green walls covered in old-school movie posters.
There were screwed up pieces of paper everywhere. I had to guess he was some kind of artist. The room was illuminated in the evening dim, a soft warm light bringing the room to life. A knock startled me, and my gaze flicked to the window.
There he was. The Wilder boy next door.
He was my age, maybe even older. This guy looked almost college aged. Which made it increasingly weirder that his mother would insist on babying him at the age of seventeen.
He was cute. The dorky kind of cute. He wore bulky glasses but was the type to instantly suit pretty much anything. If I could compare him to anyone, it would be the mental image in my head that my younger self had imagined Percy Jackson when I reads the books.
The guy looked comfortable in a sweater and jeans, mousey brown hair hanging in warm eyes. There was an inquisitive smile on his lips. I jumped up to open my window to speak to him, but he shook his head—and I quickly remembered his mother’s stupid rule which forbid us from talking. So, I got creative.
Give me a moment! I mouthed.
I expected him to ignore me and go back to what he was doing, but the guy straightened up and nodded, arching a brow.
He was intrigued.
I grabbed an old notebook and a pen and sat on my bed, scribbling a message. I wrote: “Hello! So, you’re the kid under house arrest lmao.”
When I held it up, his smile pricked. He laughed. But I couldn’t hear it. I could tell he had a dorky kind of laugh, a nasally one. The guy held up a hand for me to wait and rummaged on his desk. He quickly wrote out a message and held it up with a grin. He looked almost proud of his own message, and I couldn’t resist my own smile. I expected him to curse his mother, maybe apologise for the lack of communication.
But instead, he simply wrote: “Hello! What’s your name?” Followed by a slightly smudged smiley.
After a moment of consideration, mom’s words echoing in my mind, I thought fuck it. “Phoebe.” I said. “Yours?”
“It’s nice to meet you, Phoebe.” He responded. Which spanned multiple conversations which took up several of my notepads.
We talked about everything from school to his life at home. He had three siblings. Matilda, Freddie, and Issac. He liked to play the guitar and draw, but also apparently sucked at both. When I asked what his favourite TV show was, he looked confused for a moment before answering “All of them”. Following that odd answer, I asked if he liked Marvel, and again, he had that look again. A look of confusion.
But I knew he was trying to make a good impression. “What is Marvel?” He wrote back, this time his handwriting in a bubbly font. I could almost call his writing calligraphy. It practically danced off of the page. The Wilder boy’s strange answers made wonder if this kid had been home-schooled his whole life. He seemed way too polite. Kids were polite, sure.
There was a certain amount of respect you had to pay to your elders and parents.
But looking at this kid, I wasn’t even sure he knew what a meme was—or even the concept of a joke. He had no idea about one of the biggest movie franchise in the world, and his favourite celebrity was apparently “All of them”. In fact, he had answered “All of them” to several of my questions. His messages reminded me of my grandma’s. Still though, he was good company. Though I made it my mission to convert him into a normal teenager.
I had to guess due to constantly being home and around the same people, this kid had zero social skills. I asked him what his favourite movie was, out of the posters on the wall. He had Kill Bill, Reservoir Dogs, and Fight Club.
Again, he looked confused. His head cocked to the side, and I had to physically point to them behind him.
“All of them.” He wrote back with a smiley face.
Damn, this kid needed to see a movie which wasn’t some educational shit. I bet his mother had turned him into perfect member of society.
“What have you seen?” I couldn’t help asking him. “Like, movies, TV shows. Do you play video games?”
He shook his head before scribbling back. “What is that?”
Holy shit, this kid was completely cut off from the outside world.
I was already mentally thinking up plans to get him out of the house and to a party, or something like that. From the look of this kids face—a slightly blank if not completely innocent smile—he needed time away from home. Away from his overprotective mother’s wicked grasp.
After a while, I realised he never told me his name. I didn’t notice time go by. Almost three hours, and I’d spent most of it lecturing him on movies and TV shows he really should have known. I guessed Mrs Wilder didn’t let him watch the TV. My gaze flicked to his laptop. And I wouldn’t have been surprised if she had blocked out all social media. My notepad was full of scribbles and doodles, an attempt at copying his handwriting style. The sky was blooming into twilight outside, thick orange and cotton candy pink streaking the horizon. I have always loved a pre-twilight sky.
“What’s your name?” I wrote in marker pen, before holding up my notepad. I was running out of paper. I could hear mom downstairs preparing dinner, and I could tell from his diminishing smile Mrs Wilder was probably shouting for him to go downstairs.
He didn’t reply for a while. I watched him put the pad down, before heading over to his desk and cleaning up the paper—every trace we had been talking and dumping each response he’d given in the trash. Before he slumped onto his bed, wrote something down in several strokes, before holding it up for me to see. “Casper.” He’d written. “My name is Casper Wilder.”
For a moment, his expression changed completely. He glanced at the door, before frowning at the pad of paper in his lap.
It looked like he wanted to write more, before twisting around, his eyes widening. Someone was coming. I could tell by the look on his face.
The knot between his brows.
Casper gathered everything he’d been using to write to me, pens and pencils, scraps of paper and the backs of movie posters, and shoving them under his bed. Then he grabbed the curtains and pulled them closed, blocking me out once again. I thought he’d come back, but after standing like an idiot with an odd feeling in my gut, frowning at his curtains, I realised he was finished talking to me for the night. What I expected was that to be it. I didn’t think he’d come back. The next morning, however, he was back at his window, smiling at me through a mouthful of toothpaste. He was still in his pyjamas, unbrushed curls falling in sleepy eyes.
He looked strange without his glasses. Like his face was too bare. The more I took him in, though. Something was… different. Though I couldn’t make it out. It hit me then.
Casper wasn’t moving, staying in the same position. The night before, he had gone to and from his bed, hurrying around to grab equipment to write with. But now he was stood, looking more shadow than human. I was quick to dive for my notepad, but Casper was already holding up his own greeting with a grin. “Good morning, Phoebe! How are you feeling today?”
“Tired.” I wrote back, my writing barely comprehensible. “Do you have school?”
“YES.” He responded with an excited smile. “I’m so excited to learn! Do you have a favourite class?”
I laughed at that. And after looking confused, he copied my laugh. Which made me laugh harder.
“None of them!” I scribbled back. “School is boring!”
Casper shrugged. “I like it. I have a great tutor.”
“Really?” This time, I drew an attempt at the rolling eyes emoji. “You shouldn’t be excited for school. Weirdo.”
He curled his lip. “You’re the weirdo.” He wrote back. Casper paused, chewing on the lid of the pen, before writing, “What’s a weirdo?”
“You’re kidding!” This time, with too much vigour, I pointed to him with a laugh. “You! You’re the weirdo!”
We talked as I got ready for school, gathering all my books and homework. I was stuffing my gym clothes in my bag, when I noticed something was on the ground behind Casper. Looking closer, it looked like a chord. Like a long cable sort of thing. I thought it was for a games console, but then I remembered he had no idea what a video game was. I didn’t question what it was for a while. We talked every night, about everything and nothing.
I told Casper about school and friends, filling up every piece of paper we had in the house, and he told me about his siblings. They were all the same age, and all enjoyed school. His brother was a piano prodigy, while his sister’s strongest subjects were math. Casper told me he felt like the odd one out being the artist of the family, and I quickly told him that creativity was the best part of a person.
He showed me his drawings. And to my confusion, and slight disgust, they were all of his mother. They were good—sure. His skills were Ivy League worthy. Perfect shading. Everything about the drawings were perfect.
But the fact that his muse was his mother—it put a weird taste in my mouth. He showed me each drawing, his smile widening with excitement. While I nodded and pretended to be impressed. Well, I was.
Though it became startlingly obvious that Casper didn’t have a choice who he drew. He didn’t draw fruit or landscapes, or even the sky. We live in a picturesque town, the perfect canvas for an artist. However, Mrs Wilder was at the centre of every single fucking drawing and painting, ink blot. Even with different styles and angles, she was always there. And Casper Wilder saw no wrong in it. He saw absolutely no fucking wrong in this woman taking control of every aspect of his life. His social life, his friends, education and hobbies.
I half expected him to grab his guitar and start singing about her through the glass. I couldn’t take it anymore. It was driving me crazy. We continued to talk through writing to each other, but soon enough the only subject was his mother. Casper asked me if I could rate a drawing he was working on. It was her. Of course it was. I ignored him, getting to my feet and holding up the sign I had written weeks before. But I was too scared to show him.
I didn’t want to ruin our friendship, but I had to know. I had to know several things which had been keeping me up all night
“Why are you okay with your mother controlling your life?” I asked in bold letters.
And below that: “Also… I’ve been wondering this for a while. But what is that thing behind you?”
The thing behind him was at the centre of my thoughts. I’d worked out it wasn’t a chord for a TV or a games console. Not even a laptop, or for his guitar. Not to mention it was always there. Morning and evening, even at night when I spied him getting ready for bed. This thing was always on the floor, snaked across his bed. Sometimes it was even wrapped up on his desk. I couldn’t understand the length of it. I asked friends at school, and even the internet. But my descriptions didn’t do it justice. A long, silver chord like thing which didn’t have an end.
Casper blinked at my message. Before he ducked his head and started writing before holding up his response.
“I love my mom.” He said, doodling a little heart. “She doesn’t control my life. I like that she’s in it.”
Below that, a follow up message which twisted my gut. “What do you mean? I don’t see anything, Phoebe.”
Tapping my pad with my pen, I struggled to think of a response. There was no way he couldn’t see this thing. It was pretty hard to miss. Instead of writing, I pointed behind him.
“That!” I mouthed, using my lips for the first time. It felt good to actually talk to him. Even if a window of glass separated us.
“What?” His handwriting was slipping slightly. And I noticed his hands were visibly shaking. “What can you see, Phoebe?”
This time, he stood up. I noticed something change in him, the notepad slipping off his knee. Casper turned around, scanning the room.
Before his eyes finally found the cord-thing. His smile seemed to dampen, eyes going wide, fists clenching.
“Casper?” I hurriedly wrote when he didn’t move for a while. His gaze was glued to the chord. I watched his eye follow it around the room, before his hand slowly raised, trembling fingers moving to his neck, and then the back of his head. Was there an insect? That’s what I thought. It must have been a spider, or some kind of bug which had startled him. I could only describe his expression as close to catatonic. He stood up, but then quickly slumped back down. But not like it was his choice. As if he was being dragged back down by an unseen force. Like one minute I was looking at Casper Wilder, and then I was seeing a stranger. A completely different person take over a rapidly paling face. Something snapped inside my gut when he moved forwards suddenly, his arms lunging out to close the curtains.
But that wasn’t the end of what I saw. The boy had unknowingly left a splinter, a tiny gap allowing me to glimpse. I expected him to react to whatever had freaked him out. But instead, he simply flopped back onto his bed. This time, I noticed the silver chord jolt with his movement. He was already asleep, his eyes closed. I watched him, my heart diving into my throat. There was no way he just fell asleep like that. It was too fast.
Mrs Wilder came into his room soon after. But I only got a glimpse of her because she was already striding over to the window. I ducked behind my bed, panic creeping up my spine. I expected the woman to start yelling at me through the window, but instead she simply pulled the curtains properly shut. Mrs Wilder definitely saw me. And even if she didn’t, Casper’s messages to me were still piled on his bedsheets. I was left completely in the dark, then. I stood and pressed my face against the window, fully aware that I was addicted to the mystery surrounding my neighbour.
My mind began to wonder to uncertain and scary places.
What exactly was Casper’s mother doing to him behind the curtain? I wanted to believe she was simply tucking him in and saying goodnight, but the strange chord-like thing on the ground, and how he’d reacted to noticing it—for what seemed like the first time. His change in expression, like a different person had taken over him, and that person was… scared.
Catatonic. I refused to believe Mrs Wilder was innocent. I waited for him to draw his curtains again—but he didn’t. Casper’s window stayed completely blocked for days. I stopped hearing his siblings in the yard, and after days of nothing, mom reiterated her warning to me over dinner. “No communication with the Wilder children,” she told me. “Which includes notes and letters.”
Busted.
So, Mrs Wilder knew we were talking.
I wondered if she was punishing her son for breaking the rules—and that was why he had been MIA for the last few days.
“There’s something wrong with Casper.” I worked up the courage to tell mom “The boy next door. I think Mrs Wilder is hurting him.”
“Hurting him?”
“Yeah, like…” I frowned. “I think she can make him go to sleep when she wants.” I pulled a face. “Like, hypnotism—or maybe even drugs.”
“Mmm hmm.”
“Drugs, mom.” I said. “Mrs Wilder is drugging her seventeen year old son!”
“That’s nice, honey.”
“Are you even listening to me?” I leaned across the table, stabbing the page of her book. “Mom! Casper Wilder is a total blank slate!”
“I’ve told you a thousand times. She’s protecting them,” she hummed. “You have just seen far too many crime dramas—and your generation have been poisoned by the likes of crime entrainment. Finding what you think is your own mystery must be fun, but you are reaching, baby.”
“Reaching?” I prodded my own temple. “I’m sorry, were you not listening when I told you he doesn’t even know what video games are?”
Mom was acting weird. Usually, she talked about school with me, and at least tried to engage in conversation, but she was too busy reading the book Mrs Becker has recommended her. It was like talking to a brick.
“You’re being ridiculous, Phoebe,” she turned over a page with a sigh. “I’ve spoken to his mother. She’s a lovely woman. We’re having lunch next week. I met her in the grocery store."
“What a coincidence,” I shot her a look over my phone. I was looking up child abuse helplines. “You’re suddenly best friends with the neighborhood witch when I’m caught talking to her son.” Dropping my phone for emphasis, I stood up. “If you would just listen to me—"
“That’s enough.” Mom cut me off. She finished her coffee, grabbing her jacket from where it was slung over a chair. “Stay out of trouble, okay? I’m heading back to work. I’ve left cash if you want to order pizza. You have other interests, alright? Please. Leave Mrs Wilder alone. This obsession you have with her kids is unhealthy. Why don't you stick to fiction, hm?"
Yeah, no.
As soon as she was gone, I sprinted to my room to see if Casper’s curtains were open. To my dismay, though. They weren’t.
Frustrated, I yanked mine shut too.
Slumping onto my bed, I continued looking up helplines. I got bored soon after and started googling chords and wires which fit the description of what I’d seen.
There was a match, though it was on a weird medical website which looked like it had been made in 2005. The interface was outdated, and according to the description, it was some kind of clamping device. There were a lot of words I didn’t know, and after further googling, I was getting increasingly more confused. Until my gaze flicked to a section at the bottom of the page. According to whoever wrote it, the chord in question was experimental. There weren’t many in circulation, but it was mainly used in medical centres such as specialist surgeries and hospitals. When I scrolled down, there was a diagram which showed a long chord-like thing labelled as “The body” and a sharp looking needle. Something warm crept up my throat and I sat up, frowning at the screen. Was that it? Was that thing the end?
And what did this thing even connect to?
A sudden THUD made me almost jump out of my skin. I slid off my bed.
THUD.
It was coming from my window. My curtains were still shut, blowing in the slight breeze. Slowly, I made my way over, my spine tingling.
THUD.
THUD.
THUD.
The first thing I saw was red. Bright, intense scarlet spattering the Wilder boy's window. Then I glimpsed Casper. He was slamming his face into the glass, over and over again, his already bleeding nose exploding with more red. But it wasn't the boy I knew. The kid I had gotten to know over the last few months. No. This kid was a mess of torn up clothes, bruises yellowing his eyes and scratches sliced into his flesh. My first thought was his mom. She must have done this to him. But then my gaze was finding his bloodied nails, and claw marks on his arms and cheeks. There was something white wrapped around his head, a bandage.
I could glimpse red leaking through, smudging clinical white and pooling down his temples in sharp rivulets. Casper's eyes were an enigma in themselves, a mixture of fear and confusion, and almost feral look of anger and frustration. But the twitch in his lip and between his brow, was evident that something was fighting that.
Emotions and feelings he wasn't feeling himself.
It was like looking at two different guys. One was Casper, the artist who lived next door, who ended every message with a smiley. While this twisted other self, a self which was broken out and was feral in his expression, was a whole other person. I started to realise the more I looked at him, at the mess of flesh and blood caught between his nails, and his trembling hands every so often creeping to the back of his skull before jolting and coming back to curl into fists, battering the window--- he had clawed into his own head.
Immediately, I reached for my phone. But he already knew what I was going to do.
“No!” He mouthed, shaking his head—so I grabbed my notepad. I could barely write.
“What’s going on?” I held up my pad. “Are you okay? You’re fucking bleeding!”
Instead of using a pen and paper, Casper squinted, blinking rapidly. His handwriting was different, a manic scrawl, as he wrote in the explosion of blood on the window.
When he twisted around, his gaze going to the door, the breath caught in my throat. Someone was yelling his name. I could tell by his reaction. His bloodied fingers clawed at his face and hair, at bald patches and rugged stitches lining his scalp and the back of his skull. They kept going, a narrow line of stitches all the way down his neck, and presumably his spine.
My thoughts flashed back to the equipment I’d been looking up. This kind of thing was designed to bury into the brain and spinal cord. I looked for it, but the thing was nowhere to be seen on him. It was no longer on the floor. Casper struggled to write coherently. I notice he kept swearing, his finger smudging the words he was trying to write. This was more like it, I thought. This was the kind of boy I had expected to be the kid next door. “Fuck.” He shook his head, his movements erratic as one hand went to the back of his head and came back slick with glistening red.
Fuck.
Fuck.
Fuck!
He slammed his fists into the window in frustration, but I was already seeing his message start to blossom and make sense.
“WHO.”
Casper was crying. I could see that he could barely breathe, struggling to inhale, swiping at his eyes with smudged fists.
“AM.”
“I?”
I started to back away, but he continued. When he’d finished, he wrote it again and again, growing more and more fraught.
I jumped when he slammed his head into the glass of the window again. At first a part of me thought he was using his blood for paint.
So he was intentionally hurting himself to draw more.
But his words spelled it out for me in black and white.
Who am I? He wrote. WHO AM I? WHO AM I WHO AM I? WHO AM I?
This time I could barely even read my own handwriting. I held up a scrap of paper.
“DID YOUR MOM HURT YOU?”
I gestured to the bandage on his head, and he stumbled back, wild eyes searching for something to write with.
“THAT WOMAN.” He scribbled in block capitals.
“THAT WOMAN IS NOT MY FUCKING MOM.” He wrote, before he dropped to his knees. He was still writing but failing to show me.
I don’t know who I am.
He wrote the same thing 12 times, before tearing up the paper and burying his head in his lap.
I gave up writing messages.
“Casper!” I shouted.
Then I threw a rock at his window, and he lifted his head, blinking rapidly.
Gesturing for him to open up his window, he struggled with the latch for a moment before pulling it open.
I stuck my head out of my own window, cold air hitting me in the face. “I’m going to help you.” I managed to choke out. “Hold on, okay?”
Casper clawed at his face. "Help me." His voice was a sharp hiss. "Please help me. I don't know who I..." His fingernails ripped into the flesh of his cheeks, but he barely seemed to feel it, to be fazed. They kept going, digging into layer after layer. "I don't know who I am." He jumped up suddenly trashing his desk and throwing his laptop against the wall. He reminded me of a child having a tantrum. In this case though, it was more than acting out. I was sure that Casper Wilder didn’t exist. "I don't know who I am. I don't know... fuck... I don't know who I am!”
His eyes found mine, and I could have sworn I saw something there, buried deep, deep inside his pupil.
He blinked, and it was gone.
“You need to tell me what she’s done to you.” I said stiffly. “Tell me what she’s done to your head.”
Casper was only growing progressively more frenzied. Animalistic. He came back to the window, slamming his fists into it. Then his head. Again and again. Like he was trying to knock himself out. "Help me. I can't remember... I can't remember who I am. I just know.. I know her.”
His lips suddenly twisted into a startling grin.
“Mom.” He whispered, his expression softening. “My mom.” His gaze flicked to the desk. “She won’t like that I’ve… I’ve made a mess.”
“Your mom did this.” I gritted out. “I’m calling the cops.”
His expression was scaring me. Whatever was in his eye was scaring me. But this boy needed help. He needed to be taken out of that house.
"No." Casper sobered up. "No, my mom... my mommy said... she said no police." His eyes widened suddenly, seemingly noticing the mess of the window for the first time. “Oh, no.” Casper stumbled back. “I should… I should clean this. Before my mom sees what a mess I made.”
His door opened, and another head poked through.
Another guy. I figured it was one of his brothers. Freddie, or Issac. He too had a bandage wrapped around his head.
His brother’s eyes found the blood spatters, and then me. Like his mother, he strode over to the window, shutting the curtains.
But I could still hear it.
A mechanical whirring noise, followed by Casper’s sharp breath and the sickly crunch of metal protruding through blood and bone.
That was it.
“Mom!” I yelled. I’d heard her come back earlier. She must have finished work early.
I stumbled downstairs to tell her to call the cops, but a shadow was already looming behind the corner. Before I knew what was happening, a wet rag stinking of pool cleaner was being pressed over my mouth and nose.
I don’t remember passing out. When I woke up, I was lying on my mom’s couch. It was dark outside, but the curtains were open. My foggy thoughts drunk in slithers of moon poking from between the clouds before registering I wasn’t alone. Sitting up, my stomach galloped. There was no sign of mom. But I recognised each of the faces surrounding me. Mrs Becker was sitting with her legs crossed, delicately sipping from a cup. And next to her, wearing a smug smile, was Mrs Wilder. She wasn’t looking at me. Instead, her eyes were lovingly glued to something which had been built over mom’s coffee table. It was made completely out of paper. The scraps of paper I had been using to talk to her son. Though there weren’t just my messages. I glimpsed Casper’s writing too. It was a house. I was staring at a perfect paper rendition of the Wilder house. And next to it stood four little paper dolls.
There were no faces. No expressions. Just four dolls. Two boys, and two girls.
Though in her lap were more. Mrs Wilder’s nimble fingers were working to make more of them. They filled her lap differing in sizes.
“Phoebe, is it?”
Her voice was smooth like chocolate. I could almost mistake it for kindness.
I nodded, my heart in my throat. I was watching her create another doll. She folded a piece of paper in half, cut it in two, and started to fold sections, bringing the doll-form to life. This one, unlike the other, did have attention put into it. She had even added the birth mark on my right temple, following that, colouring in my dark blonde hair, and finishing with my jean jacket. Mrs Wilder didn’t have to spell it out for me. When she got to the doll’s head, she shocked me, by tearing it off. Then she ripped off its arms and legs and tearing its torso in half.
Mrs Wilder straightened up. “Phoebe, are you aware of a mother’s instinct?”
I couldn’t reply. Instead, I was staring at the paper-doll she had set alight. I watched smouldering orange rip into it, before she put the fire out, dropping the blackened paper doll on the carpet. For just a brief second, I could have sworn the hem of my jacket had also caught alight. Just a single flash of orange. But maybe I was seeing things. “I was pregnant with four beautiful children,” she said softly. “As soon as I found out, I had already named them.” Her smile was dreamy. Melancholic. “Freddie. My little Freddie. He kicked quite a lot. Oh, and Matilda. She and her twin were quite the pair, I must say. Swiftly draining me of my energy so I had to take medication.” Mrs Wilder chuckled.
“And finally, Casper. Named after my favourite movie. I loved him with all of my heart. He was my little fighter.” She quickly lost her smile, her gaze flicking to me. “I hope you understand that if you talk to, or even the breathe the same air as my children again, I will rip you apart too.”
Mrs Wilder never raised her voice. She didn’t need to. I was terrified of her.
She held up my doll for emphasis, before throwing it in the paper dollhouse. “Or… perhaps you could become another daughter of mine, hmm?” I couldn’t move, my body paralysed when she leaned over me, cruel eyes drinking me in. “Maybe not.” She hummed. “I only take the dead or dying.” Straightening up, she sighed. “It’s not a hard task, Phoebe. Keep away from my children and I will keep away from you.”
The two of them left after that, leaving me unable to move. To breathe. They took the dollhouse. All of the paper. Even my own doll.
Casper has been unreachable since. Mom has hardly been at home—and I’m starting to lose my mind.
I don’t know what to do. I don’t know who or what Mrs Wilder is, but I’m afraid she’s going to keep adding to her collection.
Whoever those kids are, they’re not hers. I think she’s taken them. She’s using them as canvases. Dolls. For what she’s lost.
Am I next?

Long story very short, my car was apparently towed by mistake today in SLC. I'm out of town and unable to go retrieve it for roughly one week. I was parked legally in a paid lot and someone called in an illegally parked car. That car was apparently gone by the time the tow truck arrived, but not wanting to leave empty handed, the tow truck operator towed my car.
I'm just off the phone with the towing company. They have my car, but will not admit the mistake and they are telling me that it will be $75/day for storage. The owner of the lot (who called this in to the tow truck operator) is telling me that he won't get involved and I need to fix it with the towing company.
I see a few options:

• Call the SLCPD and report my car as stolen, tell them where it is (has an AirTag in it) and see how that goes
• Let the car sit there, go pick it up, pay via AmEx, and immediate dispute the charges
• Call an attorney tomorrow morning and immediately file a civil suit against the parking lot owner
• Contact Matt Gephardt at KSL and ask for his help

I'm open to any other reasonable suggestions. I don't want some sort of unnecessary escalation, but I'm not paying for parking and paying for storage until I get back because someone can't tell the difference between a gray Honda and a silver Acura. Mine's the Honda, too, for the record ;-)

Happy Monday, Barkada --

The PSE gained 66 points to 6602 ▲1%

Congrats to Vince R for winning the P500 Grab Food voucher draw for entering his ALTER allocation into my ALTER IPO Allocation Poll!
Congrats also to ReaperCraft07 for correctly predicting ALTER's first-day performance ("breakeven"). I'm trying to figure out a way to expand this fun contest beyond Reddit, but I'm not quite sure how to do that.
Thanks to Jullian Masangcay and Mark Crismon Santarina for the positive feedback on my FB-based test of whether its better to send the main post, REIT Index post and IPO Index post as one single post (instead of individually as I do now). I'm going to expand the experiment this week to Twitter and Investa as well, so please let me know what you think (all feedback is appreciated!)
Shout-outs to Dominic Espinosa, Marcos Maharlika-watan, Jonathan Burac, mArQo, SE Accounting Solutions Philippines, meloi, CHARToons, avenmicjohn, Lance Nazal, LanAustria, Justn, Evolves Capital, Inc., Dividend Pinoy PGG, Rolex Jodieres, Palaboy Trader, Antonio Javier, Chip Sillesa, and Jing for the retweets, and to Greenvest and Grow PH, Froilan Ramos, Jayvee Menil, Francisco Pascual, Evolves.co, and Mike Ting for the FB shares!

▌In today's MB:

• Alternergy's IPO finishes flat
• COMING UP: Quick look at the week ahead
• Holcim FY22 profit down 63%
• CREIT indemnified against $5M settlement

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▌Today's sponsor: Fruitas Holdings

▌Main stories covered:

• [RECAP] Alternergy finishes flat after a quiet first day... Alternergy [ALTER 1.28 unch] [link] started its life on the PSE on the wrong-side of its ₱1.28/share IPO offer price, with the first few trades of the day coming in at around ₱1.22/share (-5%). While the price climbed consistently, it took nearly an hour, until 10:30 AM, for the organic demand (or the stabilization fund) to push ALTER back up to break-even. The price even pushed into gain territory, reaching ₱1.30/share, but it do so on very light volume. The stock dipped back down below the offer price when trading started up again after lunch, but the price was stickier to the offer price from that point forward. ALTER ended the day at ₱1.28/share, which is exactly what IPO buyers paid.
  
  • MB: That start in the red got a lot of people on forums asking questions like, “Where’s the stabilization fund?” While ALTER had (and still has) a stabilization fund, just remember that stabilization funds are not a guarantee that an IPO won’t go below the offer price. They are a potential source of artificial demand, but the stabilization agent -- the bank or brokerage charged with administering the stabilization fund -- gets to use its own discretion as to how that fund is deployed. If the price is below offer, as it was for the first hour of ALTER’s life, the stabilization agent has the authorization to make purchases on the open market with the goal of manipulating the stock’s price upward, but it gets to choose when to engage and to what extent. The stabilization fund has a limited lifespan (1 month max) and a finite amount of resources that it can use to achieve that goal, so there is a little bit of gamesmanship when it comes to how the agent will deploy the funding. We won’t know if the stabilization fund was used yesterday until ALTER makes its first stabilization fund disclosure, but it’s something that I will continue to track so that I can give everyone a better idea of how the fund is doing and how long it might live.
• [COMING] UP Quick look at the week ahead... Now that the central bank “stuff” is all out of the way, we get to pay closer attention to analyzing FY22 earnings reports and tracking the progress of the various equity-raising transactions that the PSE has scheduled to complete in the near future. Today is the day that the Upson International [UPSON 5.50] IPO offer period will end (the IPO is on Monday of next week). Tomorrow (Tuesday), the Megawide [MWIDE 3.07 ▲1.7%] follow-on offering starts, with shares of the preferred series MW₱5 going on sale for ₱100.00. On Thursday, the Cemex Philippines [CHP 1.03 ▼1.0%] tender offer will settle, which means that all the shareholders that tendered their shares in CHP to CHP’s parent company will finally receive the cash payment for those committed shares. Then, on Friday, the Philippine Business Bank [PBB 9.48 ▼3.3%] stock rights offering (SRO) shares will list. We’ll also get a slew of FY22 earnings reports from Nickel Asia [NIKL 6.61 ▼1.3%], Citicore Energy REIT [CREIT 2.48 ▲0.4%], D&L Industries [DNL 7.65 ▲0.1%], JG Summit [JGS 52.45 ▲3.5%], Monde Nissin [MONDE 11.34 ▲2.5%], and MacroAsia [MAC 4.92 unch].
  
  • MB: Underneath all of this is the common denominator of valuations. This is really “valuation season”, with equity raising forcing large investors to do a round of comparables and forward projections to invest in IPOs, and everyone else consuming the regular annual reports of the PSE companies to track progress to assumptions and models, to update price projections, and further expand or contract the valuations for those companies. The next two weeks will feel pretty action packed for price-action traders and value traders alike.
• [NOTES] Quick takes from around the market...
  
  • **Holcim [HLCM 3.87 ▼0.8%] [link] FY22 net income of ₱0.9 billion, down 63% from its FY21 net income of ₱2.6 billion. Gross revenues were down marginally to ₱26.6 billion, from ₱26.9 billion. HLCM said that, excluding a one-off expense in Q3, its net income would have been ₱1.6 billion for FY22, which still represents a drop of 38%. The company said that its “excellence” allowed it to increase prices in an attempt to offset the inflationary pressure on its unit costs for coal, fuel, and power, but that the “surge” in the price for fuel and energy caused costs associated with these inputs to rise 60%, overwhelming those price increase efforts and other cost-cutting efforts.
    • MB Quick Take: Inflation is eating HLCM alive, and what is happening to HLCM here is a good demonstration of how elevated inflation will impact the average consumer going forward. The increased input prices for HLCM cause HLCM to raise its prices, which in turn, become increased input prices for new construction projects like dams, roadways, condo towers, and housing developments. The increased inputs for those developers cause the developers to raise their prices.
  • **Citicore Energy REIT [CREIT 2.48 ▲0.4%] [link] said that it believes that it is fully indemnified against any negative results in the arbitration case it disclosed last week. The legal dispute in question was between Enfinity Philippines Renewable Resources (EPRR) and two contractors that assisted EPRR to build a solar power project. After the contract between EPRR and the two contractors was signed, EPRR was acquired by CREIT, but the project that forms the basis of the complaint was “carved out” prior to CREIT’s purchase of EPRR. CREIT’s Investor Relations department said that EPRR has provided indemnity protection to CREIT as part of the purchase agreement, which the IR team says “effectively relieved us of any monetary consequences or claims”.
    • MB Quick Take: *An indemnity clause is a very important one in the mergers and acquisition space. When you buy physical assets (like a car or a painting), you just get that physical assets, but when you buy a corporation (like when CREIT bought EPRR), you don’t just buy its products and facilities, you buy all of its rights and obligations as a legal entity as well. Doing due diligence on “all the potential legal liability with respect to everything the company did before right now” is (obviously) a rather overwhelming scope for a pre-deal legal review, so indemnification agreements become a more-efficient workaround to solve the problem. *

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As title says. Throwaway account for anonymity.
I'm in PA. Specifically, I live in rural PA and commute into a larger city (around 1 1/2 hr commute) one day a week at my current job. My wife's job is here and we have a mortgage/house that we got pre-interest rate hikes so we're locked in around 4.0%. My mortgage is around $160k remaining and my wife makes $52k in her job.
Current job:
​
Work at large bank, $93k salary, 25 PTO days, very flexible work culture, work at home 4 days a week, commute into the office 1 day a week typically. My wife is a public servant, so I get health insurance through her work. I work in Finance; I'm the manager of a small team, have been in this role for over 6 years. If I'm impacted by restructuring or layoffs (considering what is happening in the broader market), my severance package would be sizable, too- if they were to honor the current policy in place, I'd get around 29 weeks of pay. Primary downside is that it is, unfortunately, sort of a toxic workplace because of one of my colleagues who I simply cannot avoid interaction with because of how intertwined our jobs are.
​
Offered job:
​
I was not looking for a job, but got messaged by a recruiter on LinkedIn and went in for the interview last week. Small bank, $125k salary, "performance" related bonuses (no clue what this means as I don't have this in my current job), 20 PTO days, work culture sounds extremely conservative from what I've seen (very old school where everyone working there is wearing a full suit and tie), work at home 2 days a week, commute into the office 3 days a week (or, more likely, probably end up traveling on my own dime a lot because 3 hours a day in the car, 3 days a week, is a lot). Would be a switch to an ALM role rather than Finance, which has its upsides and downsides. The company says they are looking into succession planning, wanting me to take over the role of my would-be boss when he retires in 2026; he is the head of ALM at the company. Primary downside seems like the commute, but if the stars align correctly we'll probably be moving back near or at least closer to the city in a few years anyway.
​
I got the offer Friday, figure I probably have to revert back on Monday or Tuesday. Toxic work culture with my very toxic colleague aside, I really love my job- the work is challenging and interesting and very unique, my directs are great, my boss can be a lot but is usually really cool, etc. Plus, I may be hedging too much, but I figure if I do end up getting laid off given the banking crisis, then the severance would be a boon. I like the people I interviewed with at the smaller bank, but part of me is seriously wondering whether it'll be around in a few years given industry consolidation.
​
Any way I can use this offer to get anything from my current employer? What I'd really like is for my colleague to be blasted out of a cannon into the sun, but that seems like an unreasonable request. I've never been in this situation before where I've had an offer from another employer, so this is all new to me. Is money basically the only thing I can "bargain" for, per se? I feel like the $32k difference in salary is really good, but I have a lot of anxiety about taking it in this economy, especially with a lot of that difference being eaten up by travel costs.
​
Any advice/input would be greatly appreciated.

Cashapp or PayPal Friends and Family
Open To Offers!!
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Okay, I know this is crazy, but here me out:
John Wick died at the end of Chapter 4.
I know, I know, it’s totally insane to think that. But if I may, let me present some evidence.
Over the course of just a few days, we see John:
Be hit by multiple cars traveling at high speeds
Leap from tall buildings onto parked cars
Suffer from blunt trauma from dozens of bullets hitting his body armor
Be clubbed repeatedly over the head by a large tattooed gentleman named Klaus
Tumble down 222 stone steps at high speeds
Be stabbed
Be shot 3 times
Now, filmmakers have often used events like these to foreshadow a characters death. And in fact, many of these events could lead to death in the real world as well.
“But this is John Wick” some will point out “he’s survived worse.”
True. Which brings me to my next point.
Towards the end of the movie, there’s a real blink and you miss it scene where a gravely injured John says some beautiful words and then keels over and stops breathing. Again, this is a classic method used by filmmakers to subtly symbolize a characters death.
“But we have no guarantee a thrice shot, stabbed, and otherwise horribly injured man collapsing means he’s dead.” Which I concede. But there’s another scene that really points to his death for me.
If you recall, there’s a prominent stone placed in the cemetary with “John Wick - Loving Husband” inscribed on it. I believe this is a “tombstone”- a marker placed over a dead body.
Now, this theory leaves open some pretty big plot holes. Like why would someone with great eyesight like Caine not perfectly place his shots center of mass? Why couldn’t Winston answer a simple question like “where in the afterlife would the world’s deadliest assasin, who attempted to seek redemption through love and then animals, end up?” And why would a dog look over in a cemetary? Dogs don’t just randomly look over when they see something like a squirrel.
All that said, I know it’s crazy, but I kind of think he’s dead

Long post but context matters. I’d really appreciate feedback on this!
I (23, F) tend to initiate and carry text conversations with 26, M. We’re medium-distance (1.5 hr drive), were internet mutuals friendly w each other for almost a year then started talking more 1-1 in January after he admitted he’s always had a little crush on me and asked me out (at the end why this date hasn’t happened yet bc it’s an extra factor).
It’s been around 3 months. During winter break we texted every day but around February our lives got busy and we’ve gone a few days without talking and we both verbalized being comfortable with that and confirmed still being interested in getting to know each other despite having a lot on our plates and struggling to balance it. But time away made me notice he kind of follows a back-and-forth, your-turn-my-turn pattern and always has the last word so I constantly end up having to initiate ‘next time’.
90% of the time I drive the conversation, bring in topics, ask him questions and after he gives some good replies he eventually laughs and paraphrases what I said. I don’t know if he expects me to keep talking or asking questions, but since it’s been a good amount of messages I just take it as a nice spot to call it a day, convo over, don’t really want to drag it out or be a full-on interviewer. But then, since I didn’t come up with something to reply, he won’t text again unless I initiate. I usually do, following the pattern, but now that I realized his conversation type I decided to reflect more on this and now it’s been 2 weeks since I didn’t reply to his [laugh and paraphrase] message, the longest we’ve gone without talking consecutively (usually 5 days is the longest though he also didn’t reply for 2 weeks last month). Usually once I start a new conversation he replies pretty quick, fun and sometimes flirty, maybe he just thinks I’m busy (personal, mental, work, all counts as busy) since it’s why we’ve gone days without talking before but still, I once again carry the conversation for the most part! He barely asks about me unless it’s about what I’ve been up to recently (luckily I have an interesting day to day to talk about) or I mention an anecdote in the topics /I/ tend to start which makes me feel he isn’t as interested as he said he was. Like, a lack of curiosity and initiative. Would it kill him to text again with a “hey, [random question]”? A meme? A link?
I know, I can just talk to him about it, I just might, but I was in a long relationship, took a year off dating after the breakup and am now deciding to get back into the dating pool so I haven’t had much experiences with ‘the talking stage’ nowadays + never tried with someone mid-distance and would like to gauge men’s perspective on this before coming on too strong to someone who is still essentially an acquaintance.
For you, is this an introvert, bad conversationalist, anti-double texting kind of behavior? Just low effort, distant because “interested but not THAT interested/on different pages”? Or I’m looking too much into it too soon?
~ Extra details I consider relevant: He struggles with his mental health. So do I, but I don’t see it as an excuse to hold back like this if that were the reason. Yeah maybe he’s still not mentally there yet and I can’t expect him to change any anxiety, struggles, insecurities and avoidant tendencies just ‘cause I’ve been able to do it but he should at least communicate instead of me having to notice what the effects are :/
I could also very well have gotten friendzoned by now. We had a date pending but my car’s been at the shop these 3 months because of the shop owner’s lack of organization so I can’t drive to him like we originally planned (the beaches on his side are perfect for the date we originally wanted). He could’ve gotten bored of waiting so much even though he knows about my car situation but it’s weird to me he never suggested coming up to me for a different date? I feel like someone really interested would’ve at least asked me if, since my car’s out of service, I’d like to be picked up and taken somewhere else? We would’ve still carpooled if I drove to his place so it’s not a matter of safety or comfort like that. We live on an island, there’s rivers and beaches everywhere - yes the ones on the west side where he lives are nicer but cOmE oN! If not a north beach then drinks near my town? Would suggesting this feel too upfront or imposing for someone? It feels wrong if I suggest he drives, it’s his car not mine! But it comes off as lack of interest and effort.
Writing all this makes me realize this is kind of a lost cause, lol. Still all thoughts and advice are welcome, it’ll help me check in with myself as well! Thank you in advance (: