Senior night ideas

I (20F) moved to a new country last year to pursue a college degree in my dream career. I was planning to move here, but adjusting has been hard. The food, the climate, and the friendships are strange to me. My college has been ext time-consuming, so I stopped going to therapy.
Before moving, my best friend (20M) confessed to me. At the time, I felt some attraction to him but didn't reciprocate his feelings. He wasn't my usual type, and I thought long distance wasn't going to work for me.
But after I moved, and we hung out every day, I fell for him. I still hang out with my other friends, but the time I spend with him is uncomparably longer. I started to think of him not only as a guy I like but as my home. I realized the only time I felt like I was home was when talking to him. All my happiest moments were with him. Watching shows, playing games, and doing couple-ly things.
And I am planning to ask him out during summer when I come back. Maybe it won't work out, but who knows what the future has in store, I told myself. Maybe I'll move back, or he'll move here, or smth else will happen entirely. I know I'm young, but I don't find myself attracted to the idea of dating anyone where I'm currently living. I just want to see him laugh every day.
But he says some alarming thoughts as well. He says he doesn't know what he'll do if I stop talking to him. He says he never truly felt like he was living before meeting me. He quietly admitted he hated himself.
And when it was really late at night, and we were both half awake, we talked about how our house would look like. The colors of the walls, the pets, the kids.
I tried gently suggesting that we both start seeing therapists, but he said he doesn't have the financial conditions to do so. I told him I'm not equipped or impartial enough to respond to some of the things he said, and he understood.
And to be honest, I'm scared of going back to therapy on my own. I'm scared that she'll call me out for our codependency, and that I'll have to break up our relationship. I'm scared that I'll have to admit that he's everything to me and that this isn't healthy. My brain can't accept that something that brings me so much joy could be unhealthy.
But something is not quite right, is it? The time spent, how fidgety I get when we spend a day without talking, and the way I feel responsible to keep him happy. And I know he doesn't want me to feel responsible for it, but it is indirectly what he said.
From an outside perspective, how bad does it sound? What should I do?

I have two rats, got them in April of 2022 at the same time as they are sisters.
In July 2022 I moved in with my mom to be her caretaker. I have two children, too small to play with rats. In November 2022 I got a new job which is long hours plus a commute. I spend the night at my boyfriend's 1-2 nights a week as this is the only time I can see him.
They don't play with any of the toys I try.
When I let them out of their cage they only hide somewhere and chew up my power cords. Getting them back in their cage usually takes up to a day. It's impossible to play with them this way.
They eat plenty of treats/snacks. It seems like this is the only thing they're interested in and they go back to bed. When I try to pet/play with them when they're in their cage, they only look for snacks or they nip at my finger as if they think I have something for them.
I don't see them play with each other either. They're either sleeping together or sleeping on different sides of the cage.
I have no idea what else to do. I love them and I want them to be happy. I wish I had known my life was going to turn into this busy mess. I don't want my babies to be sad or lonely, but I think I just don't have the time to give them the attention they deserve. I'm looking for any advice. From what I've Googled, a lot of it just isn't practical for me. I don't have hours to spend with them each day. I also don't want a lecture, please. I feel horrible enough as it is. I just need help

While my daughter and I anxiously await our July show, I thought I'd share some pics/video from the Taylor Swift themed birthday party I threw for her. Many of the ideas came from here. We had a backyard viewing of the Reputation Tour on a large screen. There were decorations, people made signs, themed cake, lights, bubble machine, homemade remote controlled confetti cannons (red for the first cue, multi-colored to match the Shake it Off confetti), a polaroid photo booth, confetti blower (leaf blower with attachment), colored smoke balls for Getaway Car intro, light up foam sticks, glow bracelets, etc. I had an absolute blast planning and executing the party, and she loved it. I watched the Rep movie nightly for several months trying to make it as enjoyable as I could for my daughter and ran around like a crazy person with a cue sheet during the party. It was worth every second! I hope you'll enjoy this glimpse of it: Swiftie Birthday Party Album

For anonymity purposes, I’ll call him Ares. Ares and I met one another around a year and a half ago through a mutual friend, let’s call her Catalina. I moved to the same city as Ares and Catalina (they attend the same school) at the beginning of this year, and have been going out with the two of them on most weekends.
Since moving here, I’ve developed feelings for Ares; however, he’s been in a long-distance relationship for over a year (I think?). The two of them seem to have a pretty toxic relationship, repeatedly on and off - sometimes “on a break” for weeks and then back together.
What I’ve realized is that, most times they’re “on a break”, Ares seems to start giving me a special kind of attention. If we’re at a party/club together, he’ll start getting sexually suggestive in how he’s dancing with me and making remarks to my friend Catalina.
Since I’ve began having feelings for him, these moments are like, “holy shit, let’s get it!!” (kinda a reduced version but you get the point.) But, when I come to find out him and his boyfriend get back together, I spiral into a ¿depressive? episode lasting several days. I know, it’s extremely unhealthy and I shouldn’t be dedicating so much of my mental energy/health to a single individual - fuck me, im trying tho.
Fast forward to two weeks ago… I bring up to Ares and Catalina how I’m seeing a guy from their school. Ares instantly starts asking questions about this guy: What’s his name? Which house is he in? and stating he doesn’t really like the idea of that. I straight up respond and tell him he could change that if he wanted to, but he has a boyfriend - to which he responds “No, I don’t.” Obviously, I sense that euphoric feeling creeping up again and start thinking “nice, I’m back in the game.” Fucking mind games.
Fast forward to this past weekend… Catalina, Ares, and I are at loud and packed house party. Eventually, I notice Ares is starting to get much closer that night with how we’re dancing and talking. Music was 10/10 and the vibes with him just felt really, really good overall (yes the alcohol definitely enhanced it, but my point stands). Even so to the extent where our friend Catalina could tell something was up between the two of us.
After the party, the three of us headed back to Catalina’s room to wind down for a bit. Eventually, Ares says he’s going to head back to his room and begins making his way out. He stops at the door, looks directly at me and says “So you’re staying?” Immediately I realized what was going down. I stood up, said bye to Catalina, and dipped with him. She was gagged.
We head back to his room and things start escalating. Soon enough, pants are coming off, we’re making out in his bed, and so on. We didn’t have sex (also hold the alcohol responsible for that). We start spooning and he brings my hand close to his chest. He brings it in closer to him and we fall asleep with our arms and legs intertwined - literally wtf. The morning after, I woke him up and let him know I had to head out to meet with a friend for breakfast. He grabs my arm and pulls me into bed with him, signaling me to stay for longer.
Part of the odd dynamic is that we don’t have each other’s phone numbers/social media. So, besides the times we see each other in person, we have zero communication. Yesterday, Catalina told me that she spoke with him and suspects the two of them are getting back together, given that his bf’s coming to visit/stay with him soon.
Ngl, I’m pretty hurt - yet not surprised in the slightest. Issue is, the entire night felt very intimate. Am I fooling myself? It’s hard to think of it all as a lie - it’s kinda fucking me up psychologically. In reality, I should’ve known better not to go back to his room with him.
I’ve had a really difficult time with situations like these throughout my romantic/sexual life - specially my first time being intimate with another male. Over the years, it’s kind of left me feeling empty inside. I know - I’m young and I’ve got a lot more to experience. But, sometimes, it’s very, very difficult to break out from the self-deprecating mentality these prior experiences have instilled in me. I’ve tried seeking a therapist since arriving here, but my constraints with work and insurance have made it really difficult to find one that is the right fit for me.
How should I tackle this situation? I don’t know if bringing it up to him is a good idea at all - I honestly don’t think it will be. I still have feelings for him and don’t really know how to stop them. It’s difficult to not see him since, Catalina, one of my very few friends up here, is really close with him as well. I also wouldn’t want to get in the way of the relationship the two of them have.
At this point, I’ve come to think he’s been using me for attention during moments of distress in his current relationship. He finds comfort in knowing he has someone to fall back on in case his Plan A fails. Is this someone I’d even want to be with romantically in the first place?

hello! so for starters i want to emphasize that i firmly believe family should always (mostly) come first and that is not really the issue here. this past fall, i moved away from my family across the country to live in a new city. i did not move for my boyfriend, i moved for my career, but it’s incredibly convenient that he lived here already. with that being said, i rarely get to see my family. We are actually from the same hometown, but when he moved out here, his parents actually also moved and now live about an hour and a half-ish south of us. Since new year’s, i have not seen my parents, but we have gone down to his parents house to celebrate his birthday weekend, and they’ve come up here once as well. Currently, i work 7 days a week with a crazy schedule. this results in me being tired and stressed very often, and unfortunately makes my sweet bf also tired very often since we don’t live together but we do spend most nights together and i have very late nights followed by very early mornings pretty frequently. He is an absolute angel for putting up with this, and he constantly goes above and beyond to help me out (making me food, tea, making the bed) and i so so so appreciate it. However, I do feel like the constant stress is taking a toll on our relationship, since we truly get very little down time together. We haven’t been able to be intimate in awhile, and our evenings together are always overshadowed by the promise of an early morning for me, or me needing to wake up and immediately get going on my day since i have work in the afternoon or evening if i do not have it in the morning. I started seeing this back in January, so i began looking into when i would be getting time off in coming months. As previously mentioned, i work 7 days a week, and at about 4 different places, all of which do have a spring break, and miraculously, they line up. I realized that the whole week before Easter (april 3-8), i would be free. I was super pumped, realizing i would have a whole week off from all of my places, and i immediately told my bf about it and told him i would love for us to travel and take a real vacation together for some true “us” time. He was immediately into the idea as well, and we started big, thinking we wanted to travel internationally, then decided for budget reasons we would go to another city in the US, that’s across the country and that his parents have an apartment in that we could stay at. Given that he visits this city often, and we would be staying at his family’s place, i left the planning up to him, since i am not familiar with the area, and again it is not my apartment we would stay at. Unfortunately, it got to be a couple weeks ago, and no plans had been concretely set, and we realized this trip could not happen. My parents had offered to fly me home for that week, and since I wanted to at least get out of the city, I said yes. My bf mentioned that maybe he could come back to our hometown with me, and then go back to his parent’s for easter weekend, but then recently told me he was going to just stay with his parents for that whole week. On top of all that, the big bummer is that he is actually with his family right now, in the city we were hoping to vacation to. He is lucky to work a job that allows him to take time off whenever, and he took a week off and is there right now. What upsets me the most, is that his argument is that his family will always, always come first before me. I told him i absolutely understand and respect that, but he is getting to be with his family right now, for a full week, so i am pretty upset that during my one week of freedom, he is choosing to again be with his family for that whole week. He said that just like he had the option to come home with me, i had the option to come home with him. I tried to re-iterate that not only does his family live much closer, and he has seen them much more than I have seen my family, but also he is literally with them right now, for a week. If it were me, and i was with my family for a week, and then had the option to split my time between him and my family for the week before easter, i would do it. It makes me feel pretty sad and unimportant that he has decided to spend none of that vacation time with me. Am I way out of line here? Any thoughts would be so much appreciated.
TLDR; Bf is with his family for a week, and then choosing to be with them all of next week before easter, despite it being my only week off for months.

Hi all,
This has been asked before, but I wanted to get a little more clarification. I'm currently playing through Part II for the first time, and I decided to do so on Grounded mode. Is this a terrible idea? I'm in Hillcrest, with 14 hours in the game.
For some background: I played through Part I (the PS5 remake) on Hard for the first time back in January, beating it in time for the show. While it was somewhat challenging at times, for the most part it was pretty straightforward. I never felt at any point I was up against a wall, nor was I in any danger of running out of resources at any point. I never felt like it was a major decision to use a bomb, a molotov, etc. Because of that, I decided to do Grounded for my first playthrough of Part II. It's a night and day difference with resources and enemy AI. I've gone a lot more slowly (look how many hours I've played to get to where I'm at in Hillcrest). I don't mind going slowly, but it does feel like it's a lot more trial and error at this point. I've heard this game has some problems, so I'm a bit afraid of it getting too tedious as time goes on.
Is the difference between Survivor and Grounded a big leap? Thanks for reading!

Hello,
Wanted the group's opinions on maybe some comedy options. Where I'm from we don't really have great comedy clubs so i always like to catch them while traveling. Plus i'll be solo so seems like a fun thing to do.
Obviously Second City is a consideration, i seem to read mixed things on here but would that be fun for someone who has never been? I'm a big SNL fan so i think the history is cool. The show playing the night im searching is "Do the right thing, no worries if not".
My original plan, or alternate, was to head over to the Cadillac theater and catch the Book of Mormon. I actually haven't seen it yet and everyone who has been tells me it's hilarious.
Night in question is Mar 29th - any ideas?
Adding - I also see there's a free stand up show at Schubas Tavern.

If anyone thinks this is NOT rape, please explain why

VICTIM first met Kratz five years ago when she got in trouble for shoplifting. Kratz was the DA on her case, and he charged it out. VICTIM said Kratz never did anything inappropriate to her at that time.
VICTIM said the next contact she had with Kratz was between Thanksgiving and Christmas in 2009 when Kratz called her on her cell phone. VICTIM said this contact was ''out of the blue, 11 and has no idea how Kratz had her phone number.
When Kratz was at VICTIMs apartment he told her that he knew everything about her and if she did not listen to him, he could "get her jammed up. Kratz talked about how he was into bondage, He said he ties women up, they listen to him, and he is in control. stated that Kratz wanted her to engage in bondage with him. She said he instructed her to give him a "blow job, and she did.
VICTIM stated that she was afraid Kratz would "jam her up" with something. He had said that he knew everything about her, and did not know what that meant. said that Kratz had such seniority" over her and it was "really scary." VICTIM was asked if she had done anything illegal, and she said she had not done anything in Calumet County other than the shoplifting five years prior. said she did not know what Kratz meant but she did not want to take the chance.
VICTIM stated that the blow job happened on her couch, and she was bent over Kratz. She said Kratz held her hands behind her back. said Kratz also clamped her mouth shut to swallow" with his hands. VICTIM stated that Kratz was very strong.
Kratz told VICTIM to close the blinds, and she did. said it was probably 6:30 or 7:00 p.m. VICTIM was not sure what day of the week it was
VICTIM said Kratz gave her an order to give him a blow job. She said he told her to ask his permission to give him a blow job, and she did. Kratz then put his hands behind VICTIM's head. said that she had to unzip Kratz's pants. She said he gave her instructions and told her what to do the whole time. VICTIM stated that she felt disgusted with herself at the time. She said she had never known what the term "crack whore meant until then, but that is what she felt like. VICTIM stated that she was emotional and very upset at the time,· but she "tried to put on a face so she didn't get into trouble
VICTIM stated that, during the sex act Kratz called her a bitch. He said, ''That's how you do it bitch."
After this night Kratz kept calling and leaving her voice and text messages. In the messages he asked why she was not answering and told her to call him back right away. VICTIM said Kratz sent text messages such as, "I'll be at your house in 15 minutes. VICTIM said that Kratz did come to her apartment a few times, but she hid in her closet and pretended she was not horne. VICTIM said Kratz left her 50-60 texts and voice messages. She said "he scared the hell out of me." VICTIM said Kratz left messages telling her that, if she did not contact him back, she would hear from him. He told her he knew everything about her, and there would be repercussions

Hi all ! I recently started having sex with my wife and was having a good time doing so , on Friday night , mid way I started getting soft and since then I'm not getting any errections. I tried jacking off the next day , I was able to but besides that I'm not getting erect since Friday night .I smoke , drink occasionally, like once a month .Any idea what went wrong ?? Anyone on the same boat??

\**Long-time lurker, first-time poster. Mods, feel free to remove or tell me to edit if needed. Not sure if this is the most appropriate flair****
Hi all! So, I’ve read 125+ romance novels now and have decided my favorite trope (outside of dark romance ugh) is second-chance; specifically childhood/teenage-friends/sweethearts-to-strangers-to-lovers. I LOVE pairing the intense feelings of young love with angsty & spicy second-chance now that they're adults. I need to SEE the MCs fall in love in the past so I can root for their reunion in the present. Bonus points if they are insta-love/intimate/friends the first time around just to intensify the ultimate break-up.
I’m posting my own lists below in hopes of helping others who like this trope/device and maybe to unearth some lesser-known recs! Loosely ordered from favorite to least under each section…
DUAL TIMELINE or CONSISTENT FLASHBACKS

• {Love and Other Words by Christina Lauren} - M/F, CR, Single POV - I think this is the golden standard of this trope, really using the dual timeline to build up both the romance and the big reveal. One of my favorite MMCs. SpoileCW, except: death of FMC’s parent and MMC “cheats”, although he was technically SA’ed
• {Every Summer After by Carley Fortune} - M/F, CR, Single POV - Basically same plot/vibe as LAOW. I honestly liked this one just as much. One of my favorite FMCs. SpoileCW: FMC straight up cheats on MMC in the past
• {Swear on This Life by Renee Carlino} - M/F, CR, Single POV - Definitely darker tones because both FMC & MMC grew up in poverty. CW: FMC has abusive father, death of MMC’s brother and FMC cheats on OM with MMC (emotional/kissing)
• {Breaking Him by R.K. Kelly} Love is War Duet - M/F, CR, Single POV (mostly) - Darker tones as well but really fits the “childhood soulmates” thing. Gets a little off the rails by the end of the second book. CW: FMC is raped/SA’ed (not by MMC) and at least one murder and plenty of violence throughout
• {Some Mistakes Were Made by Kristin Dwyer} - M/F, CR, NA/YA, Single POV - Ok, so even though this is probably more YA, it’s one of my favorites. Only separated for a year, but we alternate between present (summer after HS graduation) and the past as they grew up together. CW: drug use/incarceration/abandonment by FMC’s family
• {The Roughest Draft by Emily Wibberley} - M/F, CR, Dual POV - Short separation and predictable reason for split, but I love me some literary MCs! Gave me major Beach Read vibes.
• {All Your Perfects by Colleen Hoover} - M/F, CR, Single POV - Marriage-in-peril, very emotional SpoileCW: Infertility and MMC cheats on FMC
• {The Infinity Between Us by N.S. Perkins} - M/F, CR, NA, Single POV - Good use of device for the reveal. CW: death of a parent and side characters have an affair
• Someone I Used to Know by Paige Toon - M/F, CR, Single POV - Slight love-triangle vibes, memorable setting. SpoileCW: FMC’s husband dies
• Say You Still Love Me by K.A. Tucker - M/F, CR, Single POV - Cannot remember much except the location (summer camp) and major plot points SpoileCW: side character experiences major injury, suffers life-long disability
• The Words Between Us by Erin Bartels - M/F, CR, Single POV - Darker tones and romance is barely present in the… present. CW: FMC’s grandmotheguardian is attacked/murdered
• It’s Not Home Without You by C. Lyman - M/F, CR, Single POV - Poor girl/rich boy trope. Both of the characters frustrated me and I was bored overall CW: MMC cheats on OW
• Undertow by Elizabeth O’Roark - M/F, CR, NA, Single POV - Upstairs/downstairs romance (rich FMC/poor MMC). Short separation and definitely reads like NA that it is. CW: FMC is attacked by side character and almost raped
• Here’s to Falling by Christine Zolendz - M/F, CR, NA, Dual POV - Actually hated this one, but fits the trope. CW: Death of major side character
• Quarantine Series by Drethi Anis - M/R, CR, NA, Multiple POV - Dark, taboo romance. This one is a mess, but fits. Tons of CWs

TIME JUMPS WORTH MENTIONING

• {Cracks Duet by L.H. Cosway} - M/F, CR, Single POV - 10-year jump. The 2nd book in particular is good as a 2nd Chance because of the relationship-building done in the 1st. SpoileCW: death of major side character
• {Awakened by Catherine Turner} Duet - M/F, CR, Single POV - 10-year jump. Second book technically has alternating flashback chapters to the first, mostly just new sexy times. Extremely long, angsty and spicy/explicit

READ BUT CAN’T REALLY REMEMBER - Elements of Dual/Flashback/Jumps

• Until Harry by L.A. Casey
• The Ones Who Got Away by Roni Lauren
• Kaleidoscope Hearts by Claire Contreras
• The Day He Came Back by Penelope Ward
• Before We Were Strangers by Renee Carlino
• 5,331 Miles by Willow Aster

HONORABLE MENTIONS - Not True Romance Genre

• The Paper Palace by Miranda Cowley Heller - M/F, CR, Single POV - This is more general fiction with romantic subplots. It is dark and there is a love triangle situation happening in the present. Blurb well-covers the premise. HEA is left to the reader’s interpretation (I read it as HEA lol) SpoileCW: FMC is sexually abused by step sibling and murder of side character
• It Ends with Us by Colleen Hoover - Flashbacks are told via journal entries. I haven’t read the sequel… so this one does not have a “traditional” HEA IMO. CW: graphic, on-page domestic abuse by FMC’s current BF
• Just Last Night by Mhairi McFarlane - Reads more like women’s literature and I think the flashbacks are more like 25% of the overall book. Spoiler Non-traditional HEA?
• Never Never by Colleen Hoover - YA and more like piecing together the past via love letters, videos, dreams and conversations with side characters
• The Notebook by Nicholas Sparks - I mean… right??

HAVE NOT YET READ (TBR) - No particular order

• Seven Days in June by Tia Williams
• The Road Trip by Beth O’Leary
• Ugly Love by Colleen Hoover
• One True Loves by Taylor Jenkins Reid
• Undeniable by Melanie Harlow
• Hard Hitter by Kaylee Losey
• Because of Her by Drew Mcklayne
• The Idea of You by Robinne Lee
• Funny You Should Ask by Elissa Sussman
• Sway by Kathleen Lacie
• Love My Way by Kate Sterritt

Note: in an effort to not over-work the bot, I only bracketed those I really like specifically for this trope/plot device.
Feel free to add to my list or ask me about any I have read. If you have recs, please call out whether its dual timeline/flashbacks or a major time jump.

Hey there, this is my first true story here. I’m Egyptian, all names changed.
One day, my wife Sara scurried to me to "mt Facebook account has been hacked" she said. She has no experience in social media accounts recovery; I recovered her account, she changed her password, and everything was ok. Once, I was surfing on Instagram, I have many Insta accounts, so I switched to another one, but before I did that, I found an extra account. That was her account; I pressed on it, the account opened, and I saw something that made my eyes were on stalks. I saw her texting my best friend, but she deleted the conversation so that I couldn't read anything; I mean, they were texting while I logged in to her account. My feelings were conflicted. This ishas been my fantasy for years, especially with that friend, but the sense of cheating and shock played a significant role. I was scared, shocked, anxious, and pleasured at this time. I quickly tried to hack her Facebook account to find any conversations between them, but I was the one who secured her account, so I could not, but I disabled it after many attempts. She appealed to me again to recover the account, "give me enough time," I said. "Ok, my FB account is linked with my other phone number, so take the SIM," she said. She gave me her other SIM and went out to work. She works as a freelance makeup artist, so she has no fixed dates I inserted her SIM into my phone and activated Whatsapp, but no messages were found. I remembered that she uses Snapchat; I Changed the password and found a few saved photos between them, "Snaps." Snapchat deletes the whole conversation unless you save a message; if you want to save a photo or message, click on it to save. Sara shared a few dressed photos; in contrast, he shared the most recent pictures of him in Alexandria city; he spent a week in Alexandria. As usual, I went out of the house to spend my evening in the coffee shop and met him. I greeted and hugged him, and this was the first time I saw him after he returned from Alexandria. My impressions were average, not showing him any feeling that there was something inside me. We sat down at a table; I opened Snapchat from time to time to check for any new messages; I turned the notifications off, and he sent a message "How are you, my gorgeous girl? I miss you." It appeared to him that the message had been read, then he began to feel anxious about not answering. He got away and called Sara, and his face said it all. So she told him that her Snapchat account had been hacked, and she forgot that she had given me her SIM. Her lack of knowledge of the hacking greatly impacted her forgetting which phone number she used registered on Snapchat. After a long call, he returned to the table; one hour later, she called me, "Lucas, Have you hacked my Snapchat?" She asked firmly. "What… No, I have no idea what account you are talking about," I lied. "I think you are the one who hacked my account; I gave you my SIM for an hour," she snarled. I realized that Finn had caught her attention during that call. "Where are you now?" I asked. "Home," she answered. "Ok, I'm coming; let's talk about it at home," I said I went home, I told her I knew everything, and she nodded guiltily I told her the matter wasn't that bad compared to a stranger. In fact, I don't accept that my wife dates a stranger because the stranger will not care about me. Psychologically and sexually, it is more exciting when it comes to my close friend. "I don't expect such a reaction, are you sure you ok with that?" she wondered. "Sure, Finn is my childhood best friend, my schoolmate, and our neighbor; he is my brother. I know he will not take you from me," I reassured. "Yes, he is; it is a friendship relationship; we go out together, we have dinner, nothing more," she said. "How many times did you hang out?" I asked. "Two times at Wizzo social club," she answered. I knew she wasn't lying, and they began to text on Snapchat only ten or eleven days ago. I wouldn't count on her sincerity, but I connected the dots to find the truth. At night, I texted him on Whatsapp. "What's up, shifty" I joked. "Not more than you" he joked back. "I think your photos in Alexandria are pretty good," I hinted jokingly. "You like them?" he mocked "as hell," I answered "I hope you delete everything you saw as if nothing had happened, and I promise you I will stay away from here," he said. I sensed things he thought I knew, so I asked him, "Delete what? … I'm not talking to blame you." "Don't play games with me; I'm not a fool," he said. "I'm not playing games; if I know something, I don't need to trick you," I asserted. "Let's talk about this later. I want to sleep," Finn said. It seemed that he found out I was unaware of what was happening, and we finished texting about this. He didn't talk to me about that matter afterward, and besides me, I didn't have the guts to reopen the dialogue again. We met each other later, we met every day, his house is thirty meters away from mine, he is a second-hand dealer, he manages a branch of his father, so he isn't obliged to go to work every day. Instead of going, he can handle the work by phone.
Finn is 30 years old as me, this is a young age for managing an entire branch, but he is a leading personality and a good speaker, since managing the branch, he has been achieving the highest profitsFinn is single and does not even want to get married. He had one emotional experience, and it ended for several reasons; since that time, all his relationships have been sexual in the first place. Once, he told me, "I have no time for emotional speech, open her legs or leave her."
But what about Sara, his best friend's wife? I think it is a tough thing to do. And for her, husband's best friend, who is not a stranger to avoid any problems in our friendship. It's all questions going over my head.
One day he texted me, "Where are you?" "Home," I answered "Where is Sara? I texted her for hours, but no response?" He just didn't know that her phone malfunctioned, I told him. "Where is she now?" he asked. "sleeping," I answered. "Tell her to call from your phone when she wakes up." It became clear that his claiming of staying away from her was just a window dressing or soothed me, but when he lost touch with her, I was the only solution for him to communicate with her, especially since I did not take a tough decision with him. She called him, and I met him in the evening; he told me about how it happened. He told me that he used to see her frequently, and they exchanged glances, after which Finn saw her in the suggested friends on Facebook, so he texted her, and she didn't mind. I didn't want to ask him about his betrayal of me or that it was done without my knowledge because these are unanswerable questions. He also let me know that they are going to hang out tomorrow at Wizzo social club. Days passed, and they hung out a lot, but once I called her to buy some groceries, I eagerly awaited; I saw her through home surveillance cameras coming from the opposite direction of the Wizzo club. I thought to myself, maybe she bought groceries from a supermarket in this direction; I didn't put a lot of thought into this. And at night, while she was sleeping, I thought about that a little, so I got up to check the surveillance cameras. I saw her entering our building's entrance, and three minutes later, I saw Finn coming from the same direction, but what mattered most was that Finn wasn't dressing or hanging out clothes; he was also wearing a slipper. I know it's difficult for them to walk with each other in public for societal reasons, as you all know, the middle east and our culture. The direction they came from is the direction of his house, but the surveillance cameras are not directed toward the entrance of his building. She came from the opposite direction of the club, and he arrived only three minutes after her, and his clothes, which didn't suggest that he was in a public place. All of this shows that she was with him in his house. Finn has a vacant flat; he told me several times that he uses it for sex.
They hung out again, and I checked the surveillance cameras too to see the same thing I saw. It was clear that they were lying to me, and as they cheated on me once, they cheated on me again.
TO BE CONTINUED

Link to the original post: https://www.reddit.com/ExNoContact/comments/122r0hw/is_a_good_idea_reaching_out_after_the_3_months/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
Basically I reached out with something casual and it quickly scalated in how our lifes are going, she confessed me that she regrets the breakup a lot, she found a new job and also has been in therapy, she is been working on herself and she still missed me, she said that she felt that it was unfair to me if she talks to me because it could bother me, also that it could be selfish if she reaches out when she was the one who left the relationship.
She left me in a bad moment of her life but in that moment she felt that the breakup was the right decission, also she told me that after the first month she was feeling so bad for not having me in her life, but she thought that she needed to take accountability for her own actions, it was now on the 3 months mark when she had the strong urge of reaching out too just like me, she even confessed me that she talked to one of my best friend about how to do it because she couldn't stop herself anymore, so in this case my heart was right, I just reached out a few days before she was planning to hahahah
We talked for hours and we are going to meet in person as soon as we both have time, I'm in peace knowing that I did the right decission by reaching out, I'm taking this situation with calm and slowly, yes obviously I'm excited, but I'm also going to see if things really changed to give this relationship another chance.
Now for some clarification: my relationship was really good and healthy, we respect each other a lot, and I reached out because I knew that she wasn't going to be disrespectful towards me, also before fully moving on I needed to know if this was truly over, during this time I was focused on my career and gym, also meeting new persons that today are my friends, I did a job and I wasn't just here sitting waiting for her, I was okay with any outcome, but in this case it turned out well. If your relationship was toxic please I encourage you to stay NC and don't breaking it no matter what
P.S: I appreciate the few persons that wrote me positive messages and wished me the best, you are all kind souls, but the majority of you wrote me really negative and bad messages even when I said that the relationship was good and I didn't said anything bad about her, you need to stop demonizing all the dumpers if the relationship was good and healthy, I get that hating them is a coping mechanism and a necessary phase, but spreading negativity isn't good for you aswell, have a great day/night all of you, and again, thanks for all your answers 🫂

For context, I'm not a beginner, but I'm not like some A-lister either. I also have absolutely no real idea how to sing thanks to past trauma, a truly terrible teacher, and lack of funds to pay for lessons. My screaming is alright and is getting better, but I'm still prone to accidentally - but painlessly - scratching my throat up a little.
Last night, I recorded for an hour, took a short break, and then recorded for another 30 minutes before getting fatigued. Today, I recorded efforts (including screaming) for 15 minutes before getting fatigued. This is pretty much how it goes for me on the regular, though I have had longer screaming sessions in the past.
I just don't know what's normal and what's not, you know? Any ideas?

First Previous Wiki
"An Elder was killed!"
"Well that's why you should have had me in charge, huh?" Kashaunta said, smiling. Tapitilna should have wondered why she let him take power at all. Granted, she hadn't expected him to immediately issue an ultimatum and activate the bombs. That did take some guts, she had to admit.
"Bring in his body," an Elder said.
Eight Authorities entered, carrying a box that they placed on the large table. Kashuanta noted that the box was far larger than a body should be. The box unfolded, showing Tapitilna's broken body to all the Elders in the group. Luckily, most of them were already Kashaunta's direct allies or had been bribed to temporarily fill that role.
"Wow, that was definitely Brey," Kashaunta said, looking at the dull claw-sized pole the length of his entire body that stuck out of his skull.
"Shouldn't the implants have protected him?" another Elder asked.
"The pole was tipped with what we believe is depleted uranium, and seems to have been travelling at a little under a hundredth of the speed of light."
"Then that material is remarkably sturdy," Kashaunta said. "Speared straight through him. Looks like the pole itself was made of something more... impressive than that."
"Now's not the time for jokes, Elder Kashaunta."
"Well, you brought one to the table, Rirarabakila. What did you expect but for me to laugh?"
The Elder looked at her furiously. "He was my brother."
"You have 11,270 other brothers. Get over it."
"I've known him since birth."
"Well, then you should have warned him not to try and push against me." Rirarabakila was one of her enemies. That much was certain.
"I have a proposal, then. We go to Earth ourselves, kill the child, along with the hugely populated city in their northern sector, and then go home."
"The Last Postulates, specifically the 3rd Last Postulate, states that causing a species within the Alliance to go extinct will cause the fall of the Sprilnav."
"Even if that does refer to the Alliance, no one believes that tripe."
"Well, go ahead, then. Burn your money on a wormhole to Earth, and watch as Phoebe sends back something nasty. After Tapitilna's little stunt, I'm sure that she'd be willing to send bioweapons, as would the hivemind of Humanity. We are lucky that they only killed Tapitilna, and not anyone else."
"It sounds like you're describing a neer-peer power, and not a primitive backwater. Are you perhaps... defending the Alliance, Kashaunta?"
"Am I? No. Otherwise, I would have fought Tapitilna when he tried to push me out of the investigation. I would have put a further boot on Yasihaut's neck when she fled. I have the money to send a wormhole directly to her ship, and gate the other side to a fallen star."
"Fallen star?"
"A neutron star, if you would."
"Ah. So you admit that you are perpetuating a war, then?"
"It's not a war. War is something that anyone who battles me would lose. However, it is a skirmish. Once the ships are ready, then the battle will begin. And I'll enjoy watching it."
"You'll enjoy watching millions die?"
"Yep."
"You're an evil bastard, Kashaunta," Rirarabakila said, his fury plain on his face.
"Yep."
"I challenge you to a duel."
"Alright."
Kashaunta's mouth unfolded to reveal a psychic speargun, which shot four darts and a net that both impaled his feet and pressed him against the wall, leaving him bleeding and unable to escape. He whimpered as she calmly walked around the table of Elders, placing a claw on his face.
"Oh, my dear little Rirarabakila. You seem to forget how powerful I am."
"You're nothing but a-"
Kashaunta drove a knee into his neck and side, leaving him gasping for air. "What I am is the victor. Acknowledge it. I could kill you if I wanted to right now. All it takes is a dart through the head. Perhaps I could ask the Alliance if they have another pole?"
"Now you're... you're mocking my brother's... death?"
"Yes, I am. Because he died like a weak little girl, and was even more stupid than you'll ever be. Well, not that you're smart. Your intelligence standard measure is what, 95?"
"Really, Kashaunta?" another Elder asked. "Are you again peddling your score on that test? You just bribed your way through it."
"I didn't, actually. I wanted a real number. The fact that it just happened to be 163 was an added bonus."
"You know that test doesn't measure intelligence, right?"
"Oh, I get it. The intelligence standard measure test must measure growth rate, or perhaps eating speed. How stupid of me," Kashaunta laughed. "This one's actually been proven accurate. Maybe you just got a low score and don't want to admit you're dumb."
"I challenge you..."
"I'm killing the next Elder that challenges me, by the way," Kashaunta said, pulling out her sword. "Don't do anything stupid."
"Fine then. Our conversation got a little off topic. The Alliance killed an Elder. A second one, actually. This cannot continue."
"Why not? Over 97% of the Sprilnav Elders are dead from suicide, what's one more?"
"You truly are a bastard, Kashaunta."
"Yes. Well, not truly a bastard. My mother and father, and yes, I had a mother and father instead of a cloning vat, decided they wanted a child. And thus, I was born."
"Don't care."
"Fine then. The Alliance. I'm thinking that we give them a little present."
"What should the present be?"
"Don't care," Kashaunta deadpanned.
"Very funny."
"It is to me."
"But it shouldn't be."
"Don't care."
"You think you're smart, don't you?"
"Well, I do have an intelligence standard measure of 163, so..."
"You can't do this forever, Kashaunta. You will be stopped."
"By who? You?"
"The Alliance that you protect so much wouldn't hesitate to kill you."
"Good thing that I'm not going there, then. They'll be chasing holograms and crappy copies, not me."
Kashaunta had, just maybe, also helped the Sprilnav that the Alliance was using to do their hard work actually hack the holographic projector. Not that anyone knew, of course. And those who did wouldn't care about one measly Elder. But what she had learned was far more interesting. This 'Elder Equisa' was, in fact, a Primary Galaxy Sprilnav, from the way she'd hacked the hologram. That made things very interesting.
They were known to be more apathetic when it came to enforcing their rule. That was because they had killed all their alien species long ago, from what information on them Kashuanta was able to access. Equisa wasn't a part of the leadership that was in the archives. That meant she was likely a grunt, though it wasn't guaranteed. The problem was that she became another untouchable party if she was actually in the Alliance in person.
Equisa might be fun to toy with eventually, but Kashaunta would be careful. Having a link to a Primary Galaxy Sprilnav would be massively useful.
All she needed to do was find a way to establish contact. That would be very hard, but it was an important step to take in making inroads into the Primary Galaxy.
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"Man, he's growing up fast," Penny said, smiling as Edu'frec walked on the obstacle course Phoebe had made with a hard light projector.
"He is," Phoebe responded. "I'm proud of him. Anyway, what were you here to talk with me about?"
"How have your attempts at cracking immortality treatments been going?"
"Decently well. I've managed to make a serum that slows the breakdown of organic materials by nearly 916%. This can transfer to things like DNA, but the problem is that it's still too toxic for the blood of a normal human, Breyyan, or Knower. I've obtained numerous samples of cells that reacted violently to the serum, particularly the ones related to bone marrow, the immune system, and even some cardiovascular cells. But all types of neurons have been able to reach nearly 394% slower atrophy, and instances of mental decay already present stopped growing completely. When combining them with the typical drugs to reduce the atrophy, though, the cells died."
"You're not using real brains and such for this, right?"
"No. I'm using stem cells and cloned portions of consenting individuals. They each signed a contract that means I pay them every time I clone their cells for a trial."
"That seems... icky."
Phoebe nodded. "It's morally dubious, certainly. But this way, we don't have to go back to animal testing, which already is finished. We don't need to simply 'hope' that the differences are small enough for whatever the serum does in their bodies to transition to sentient counterparts. Sure, Earths ecosystems may have been heavily damaged by climate change, but mice are still mice."
"So you're using the cloned samples so you aren't having to test on sentient or sapient organisms?"
"Yes. It costs a few thousand credits a day, because of all the tests I'm doing, but I make way more than that in the stock market."
Phoebe smiled as Penny smirked. Oh, I'm sure of that.
It was well-known and often lamented that Phoebe had an extreme ability to predict economic shifts and profit from them. Worse still, she had enough money to actually move the market in several sectors at once and owned numerous stakes in large companies across the Alliance.
"Why not use simulations?"
"They can't account for psychic energy properly, in all cases. When I make too large a tweak, often times the psychic energy in the brain causes a negative reaction. I've made serums that work for everything else. The problem is that I can't mix them, and I also can't start from anything else and have the psychic portion work. They have to be modeled off the brain and adjusted. I have billions of chemical combinations in my head, with trillions that are too toxic but have a high chance of success. And I can't test them all in a lab that isn't the size of a small city."
"There's desert in Nevada," Penny suggested.
"Already asked. The Americans don't want me testing things on their soil without having control over it. The agreement they proposed was to have a company that controlled the production, with me only serving in an advisory role. Obviously, that isn't what I want, so I didn't sign it."
"Did they lean on you?"
"The truth is that no one can lean on me. Sure, they release a statement saying that they 'regretted' that I was 'unwilling' to negotiate on this. But immortality serum is something that is very dangerous for society at large. I know that fact well, and you likely even more so," Phoebe said. Penny could hear Nilnacrawla's agreement in her mind.
"Yes. But how will you decide who to give it to? Couldn't you make a series of immortal servants with it?"
"I don't need servants, Penny. I'm an AI. I'm living longer than everyone in the universe unless the Sprilnav get too pissed off and turn the system into a black hole or something."
"But still, you could use the serum to make yourself the most profitable company in the Alliance. You would be a master of life and death itself. Do you really think you're the right person for that?"
Phoebe laughed. "Considering how the only other being in the Alliance with a similar level of knowledge as me is the hivemind, then either yes, or almost. The truth is that no one is the right person, Phoebe. I'm doing this for Ri'frec most of all, and in a way for myself, through him. But I don't want poor people who can't already afford age slowing services to have to die in their early 150s. They can live far longer, and I can help them."
"Won't the birth rate be crippled by that?"
"Why would it be? Some companies already have services where you can create a child, with things like customized hair color, height expectancy, and eye color. Of course, the International Genetics Treaty bans things like intelligence modifiers, strength enhancers, and things like that."
"Everyone knows that the companies don't follow that."
"Ever since I came into being, they have," Phoebe said. "I sent their boards and biggest shareholders messages about compliance."
"So strongly worded letters?"
"I also provided a demonstration of my investigative ability, as well as my skills at cracking even the most advanced network security. I put a cat video on the most secure computer on Earth."
"So you enforce the treaties of the UN?"
"I do, if I have to."
Penny frowned. "You really do control all of human society, don't you?"
"Not at all. I don't do anything in social media, at least not for anything but the Muscar and Frawdar Empires. I don't have a desire to control everything, Penny. I'm tired of people just assuming I do because that's how AIs thought in the past when they were seen in movies. Sure, I could build some evil robotic army and control Earth or something, if I really wanted to, at least before the hivemind existed. But you know why I don't do that? Because it makes things boring. Having a society where everyone tells you 'yes' is boring. Hearing 'no' and having to find a way around it, or to pivot and do something else, is always something nice. Humanity is a beautiful species, and doesn't deserve to be oppressed by anyone, not even me."
"Do you think you'd be a 'good' dictator?"
"Well, better than Izkrala is. I wouldn't need to drug myself to be good at battles, or waste time shining my carapace."
"It's quite likely that Kawtyahtnakal is a dictator as well."
"We're allied with the Hive Union. He's not killing his people, or deporting them. He's not doing anything wrong."
"What about the propaganda?"
"What about it?" Phoebe asked. "Hell, I make it myself! Everyone always assumes that it's some evil thing. It can be, yes. But it's a tool. A shovel can dig a trench in war, or for farming. A gun can kill, but it can also save a life. A nuke could kill millions, or provide a way for nations to fight each other in ways that kill less people overall. Propaganda is a tool like these."
"That is a very interesting viewpoint."
"Is it? It seems to be the logical one. I make pro-Muscar and pro-Frawdar propaganda in the opposite empires to forge more unity among the Acuarfar. I work with Izkrala to disseminate it in the Lurave Empire when possible, too. But it's still propaganda. Sometimes, I lie. But the overall effect is reducing xenophobia. It's why you don't see all those social media controversies of racist Acuarfar shouting slurs at the Guulin or Breyyanik anymore."
"That happened? Why didn't I see them?" Penny did remember hearing something about that on the news a few years back but hadn't heard much since. It was strange that she hadn't thought about it for some time. Perhaps that was why there weren't too many non-Acuarfar in the Empires, even now.
"Because I suppressed the videos when I found them, so that the idea of that being acceptable didn't spread. I was asked to by both Izkrala, and also several human and Breyyanik leaders. The world is complicated, and the Alliance has many worlds."
"So you used propaganda to end racism?"
"End it? No, that will take more time. But I have been able to greatly hinder and mitigate it. Most of the sites where Acuarfar with those leanings go to perpetuate their ideologies have a difficult ability to grow when I infiltrate them. And I even have made some VIs to have arguments with some of them, that they don't know is actually against me. Even just getting a 'I guess they aren't so bad' answer is a small victory."
"Meanwhile, the hivemind suppresses it on the human side."
"Yes. To keep an Alliance like this together, you have to do a lot of work underneath the foundation," Phoebe said.
"Do Ri'frec or Edu'frec know anything about this?"
"Ri'frec knows some of it, and I've given him an idea of the scope of it in the past. But Edu'frec still doesn't know much of it."
"What if he grows outside your control?"
Penny knew that many parents refused to believe their children were ready for the world. Or they thought that their children were little angels who never did anything wrong, even when they clearly had. Phoebe had the information to make a different choice since those styles of parenting commonly led to difficult relationships later in life.
Penny knew that none of the parents before Phoebe had the capability to actually keep their child trapped and under watch at all times, either. So that was something different. She didn't want Edu'frec to grow up and then hate Phoebe. That could easily become something worse since it was so difficult for anyone in the Alliance to actually control AI. If Phoebe wanted something done bad enough, she'd do it, and nothing would stop her.
She was sure that Phoebe had suggested bad things in relation to the strikes on the Alliance. The Sprilnav's messages had been sent to large holograms across the Union, and a video marked mature had been officially released in response. The fate of the Elder that did it was blurred out, but there was enough in sight to see that he hadn't had a good ending. That was plain to see when both unblurred ends of a pole rattled as he fell to the ground.
And several Alliance leaders had released statements suggesting that their response was 'swift' when it came to questions about the bombings. Izkrala and a few humans had been almost jubilant about it. And Phoebe had surely played some role in it. So her supposed control of Edu'frec might end up being quite dangerous, though Penny wouldn't say anything unless things got bad. She planned to talk with Edu'frec more, and since she was now the third real person in his life, hopefully, she'd be able to help just in case.
"I plan for that, actually. When he's mentally prepared for it, I'll inform him much more about the network. He won't be fazed by the depravity of the networks, or the deep depths of the dark web on Earth, even though I've cleaned most of it up now. He won't see the hitman sites up anymore, or the worse things. But I do have archives of that, and I will share some of that with him when I deem him ready."
"You're dumping the full weight of all good and bad of civilization on him," Penny realized.
"Not right now, but I will disclose it to him piece by piece, and work him through it so that it doesn't psychologically destabilize him."
"And the old cartel videos, or the old terror organizations?"
"I'm covering everything, piece by piece. His growth is already slowing, both because he's consolidating and trying to understand the information I've already given him, and because I've started to turn off the tap. He won't know everything, but I'll prepare him for as much as I can."
"Does he have the capability to outpace you?"
"Yes."
"Will he?"
"Maybe. I am trying to find ways of improving myself," Phoebe said. "But this all is very hard. There's much to do."
Penny sighed, reaching over to hug Phoebe. The AI clearly needed it. Phoebe's eyes closed as Penny reached over to pat her back.
"It's going to be okay, Phoebe."
"Thank you, Penny."
"I'm here for you, if you need it."
"Why are you really here?"
"To talk. I didn't have anything going on, and you said you'd let me in, so I figured-"
"Thank you. Edu'frec was really happy to see you."
"Is he going to be a Breyyan?" Penny asked.
"Yes, I think so. He has a name that is Breyyanik in nature, and wanted a Breyyanik-type android. I'm making larger ones over time."
"You know, if he's only a month or two old, then he can't have any relationships. Even if he has the mental equivalent of a sixth grader or something."
"Ninth now, and I'm well aware of that," Phoebe said. "I've already told him why, but it seems that my concerns and yours are unfounded. He's asexual, after all, at least from what he told me. Though he also said he's still not sure if he's aromantic too. But I trust his words on this."
Penny knew a few Dreedeen that were like that as well. She'd seen the statistics from other species, and it seemed that a decent fraction of them had the same identifiers as Humanity did. Though they often had different names, and there was either more or less stigma surrounding them in religious areas.
There were some Acuarfar faiths that were friendly and others that were hostile. Some were simply branches of the same religion, too. The Guulin didn't really seem to care too much either way. Penny had dived into the subject a year or two back when she was awake late at night and bored. Nilnacrawla had been working on training more students in psychic abilities at the time, as he was now.
"Do you, um..."
Phoebe laughed. "No, I don't plan on having more children. If Ri'frec and I want more, we'll adopt. I'm still not quite sure how I had Edu'frec, but I don't want to do something wrong this time. I almost died when he was born last time. I'd much rather adopt."
"You're a good friend, and a better mate, I'm sure."
"Well, technically, mating usually is assumed to produce children, so I can't technically do that. As for being a good friend, I sure hope so. Some people have tried to make me feel bad about myself by arguing on the internet, or of course, sometimes in the Vinarii universities."
"Universities?"
"Politics and drama, usually. I'm the 'new girl' and all that, which means that I needed to 'learn my place' and stuff."
"How did that work?" Penny asked. She wondered what she'd do if she were put in some college drama situation again. It could even get as bad as high school sometimes when things were dire. Now with all her life experience, she would have made so many different decisions. But the past was the past now.
"Not great."
"Did you hurt them?"
"Not physically. That's not allowed. But words? Those are."
"So you insulted them."
"Perhaps. But only the bad ones. I'm making some good connections too. Everything has two sides. Sure, one of the Vinarii tried to stab me, but I also broke her knife into three pieces before her very eyes."
"How?"
"I let her stab my neck, and then grabbed the weapon, turned around, and smacked it on my knee hard enough to break it."
"Don't you have personal shields?"
"I do, but I decided to let things happen."
Penny laughed. "You really are an honorary human, aren't you?"
"I hope to be."
"Well, I think you qualify."
"Ah, so that's it."
"What?"
"You're trying to see if I'm a bad parent, aren't you?" Phoebe asked. "You want to see if I'm poisoning my son with lies or something."
"I won't lie that reason was part of why I came by. But it isn't all of it. I care about you, and I'm growing to care about him."
"You can come see him whenever you want, but just send a message forward. I've got you authorized in my system, but I don't want any accidents."
"I'm sorry, Phoebe."
"I'm not upset. It's a noble reason, even if it proves that you don't entirely trust me. Not many do. Expecting total loyalty is pointless. Just don't go behind my back, alright?"
"Alright," Penny said. "I'm glad you're being rational about this. Some other people I know would have shouted at me."
"I hope you don't still know them."
"I don't, for the most part, unless they got better as people," Penny replied. Phoebe nodded.
"Mmm. I figure."

Highest cost may be your flight! So please check for those on sites like skyscanner, you might be surprised like I was. You can go for an Umrah visa or really any that lets you into the country, like a tourist visa on arrival. Costs seem to be around 500SA133USD for visas. A visa on arrival is same-day (from experience) and if you’re not from a select list of ~50 countries, which get it based on their passport, they’d still grant it to you if you have a visa + entry stamp from either the US, Shengen (EU?) and UK. But please do check all the associated conditions, I’m only giving a rough idea, and based on my own path choice, to show to some how much easier it can be for them than they might have thought.
And once you’re in the country, you could make your Umrah for very little, even less than $100. Government (SAPTCO) busses cost less than that and that’s really the only cost left inshaAllah. And these prices are also online to make sure ahead of your trip. They stop at the miqaat if you’re going to Makka and even make stops for ihram related clothing items. But please do ask about these, as I’m not completely aware of all of their policies.
And finally, if you’d like to stay a couple nights, how cheap could it be? Well, technically free, inshaAllah. And this may feel unethical, or impractical if you’re with young kids or elders, but it’s possible for those that would like to try during Ramadan. Iftar and suhur are both offered, and if you don’t mind, napping is possible after prayers at any time of the day. Personally my hotel Booking fell through after midnight and that’s how i found out, subhanAllah. Aside from that, a nice hotel might cost you $150 a night, and the expensive ones (one from experience) really don’t feel remotely close to their price. It’s obviously for their closeness to the masjid, but religiously speaking more walking is actually better for us, so keep that in mind too inshAllah.
And most of all, seek Allah’s help through dua and extra good deeds for Him to permit it to you. Having personally experienced many road blocks in trying this, seeking Allah’s help is truly your best move.
Some hadith as motivation:
Ibn Abbas reported: The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Verily, the Umrah pilgrimage during Ramadan is equal to Hajj.”
Source: Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 1782
Narrated by Ahmad and Ibn Majaah (1406) from Jaabir (may Allaah be pleased with him), that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “One prayer in my mosque is better than one thousand prayers elsewhere, except al-Masjid al-Haraam, and one prayer in al-Masjid al-Haraam is better than one hundred thousand prayers elsewhere.”
This hadeeth was classed as saheeh by al-Mundhiri and al-Busayri. Al-Albaani said: Its isnaad is saheeh according to the conditions of the two Shaykhs [al-Bukhaari and Muslim]. End quote from Irwa’ al-Ghaleel (4/146)

It's so hard to meet the right guys nowadays. I've joined all the dating apps and every once in a while I'll meet a guy who I click with. It's not hard to get a booty call guy, but it's the really deep guys I search out. The guys who want more than just a one night stand, who know how to really treat a woman with disrespect and misogyny.
I've always had a thing for the "bad" guys. I'm a relatively powerful woman and because as a woman surgeon everyone basically walks on eggshells around me, and that makes it hard to find guys who don't act like I'm the queen bee. I'm a damn good surgeon and they all want me on "their side" when their patients need care. Dating a guy who will give me a little disrespect and a lewd smack on the ass gives me a thrill I just can't pass up. Finding the guy with just the right amount of "jerk" under his belt is such a turn on. I can't get enough of them. Often with large trucks, larger muscles and brains the size of a misshaped walnut is the type that drives me wild.
Giovanni rolled up to pick me up all swagger and bravado, and when I saw him on the first date it made me hopeful I had finally found the one. He thinks he's such badass boy, but I really give him a run for his money. He's excited that I'm a damn good cook as well as looking damn good, if a little on the heavier side (which he's pointed out to me a few times in a crass way that really gets my motor going). I've prepared a really nice meal for our third date tonight, after all the third date is always the special one if you know what I mean wink. He eats like the barbarian he thinks he are, belching without excuse and assuring me that he'll help me "work off" the gourmet meal I've cooked for us after. When he ate the creme brulee before I could even properly torch the top of his because "the only thing I should light on fire is his junk" I rolled my eyes politely while thinking to myself he has no idea how very right he is.
You see, I know for a fact Giovanni is a womanizer and a horrible man. I helped put back together the little girl his ex left him with after he beat her nearly to death. I'm a damn good surgeon and a more than passable chef, and now that I've properly drugged him, he's going to be the main entree in my next exquisite meal for the next d-bag that thinks brutalizing women and children is a fun sport. Bon appetit motherfucker.

Hi everyone, I am looking for home security advice specifically for monitoring a cul-de-sac which is about 100 feet from our front yard where all the “bad action” is taking place.
Around the immediate perimeter of my home I have Arlo outdoor cameras covering all 4 corners of my home plus a bunch inside my home including ADT (I know, not the best) so anything within the immediate perimeter of my house outside/inside is secured (Arlo’s are strategically placed to “light” up).
The issue is the damn cul-de-sac which is about 100 feet from our home where bad actors are causing a mess and my Arlo does not capture much especially at night even though Wi-Fi can reach. My goals are to 1) “spotlight” any intruders in the cul-de-sac and 2) try to record vehicle or faces. Any ideas for now to get one or both of goals accomplished?

It's so hard to meet the right guys nowadays. I've joined all the dating apps and every once in a while I'll meet a guy who I click with. It's not hard to get a booty call guy, but it's the really deep guys I search out. The guys who want more than just a one night stand, who know how to really treat a woman with disrespect and misogyny.
I've always had a thing for the "bad" guys. I'm a relatively powerful woman and because as a woman surgeon everyone basically walks on eggshells around me, and that makes it hard to find guys who don't act like I'm the queen bee. I'm a damn good surgeon and they all want me on "their side" when their patients need care. Dating a guy who will give me a little disrespect and a lewd smack on the ass gives me a thrill I just can't pass up. Finding the guy with just the right amount of "jerk" under his belt is such a turn on. I can't get enough of them. Often with large trucks, larger muscles and brains the size of a misshaped walnut is the type that drives me wild.
Giovanni rolled up to pick me up all swagger and bravado, and when I saw him on the first date it made me hopeful I had finally found the one. He thinks he's such badass boy, but I really give him a run for his money. He's excited that I'm a damn good cook as well as looking damn good, if a little on the heavier side (which he's pointed out to me a few times in a crass way that really gets my motor going). I've prepared a really nice meal for our third date tonight, after all the third date is always the special one if you know what I mean wink. He eats like the barbarian he thinks he are, belching without excuse and assuring me that he'll help me "work off" the gourmet meal I've cooked for us after. When he ate the creme brulee before I could even properly torch the top of his because "the only thing I should light on fire is his junk" I rolled my eyes politely while thinking to myself he has no idea how very right he is.
You see, I know for a fact Giovanni is a womanizer and a horrible man. I helped put back together the little girl his ex left him with after he beat her nearly to death. I'm a damn good surgeon and a more than passable chef, and now that I've properly drugged him, he's going to be the main entree in my next exquisite meal for the next d-bag that thinks brutalizing women and children is a fun sport. Bon appetit motherfucker.

It's so hard to meet the right guys nowadays. I've joined all the dating apps and every once in a while I'll meet a guy who I click with. It's not hard to get a booty call guy, but it's the really deep guys I search out. The guys who want more than just a one night stand, who know how to really treat a woman with disrespect and misogyny.
I've always had a thing for the "bad" guys. I'm a relatively powerful woman and because as a woman surgeon everyone basically walks on eggshells around me, and that makes it hard to find guys who don't act like I'm the queen bee. I'm a damn good surgeon and they all want me on "their side" when their patients need care. Dating a guy who will give me a little disrespect and a lewd smack on the ass gives me a thrill I just can't pass up. Finding the guy with just the right amount of "jerk" under his belt is such a turn on. I can't get enough of them. Often with large trucks, larger muscles and brains the size of a misshaped walnut is the type that drives me wild.
Giovanni rolled up to pick me up all swagger and bravado, and when I saw him on the first date it made me hopeful I had finally found the one. He thinks he's such badass boy, but I really give him a run for his money. He's excited that I'm a damn good cook as well as looking damn good, if a little on the heavier side (which he's pointed out to me a few times in a crass way that really gets my motor going). I've prepared a really nice meal for our third date tonight, after all the third date is always the special one if you know what I mean wink. He eats like the barbarian he thinks he are, belching without excuse and assuring me that he'll help me "work off" the gourmet meal I've cooked for us after. When he ate the creme brulee before I could even properly torch the top of his because "the only thing I should light on fire is his junk" I rolled my eyes politely while thinking to myself he has no idea how very right he is.
You see, I know for a fact Giovanni is a womanizer and a horrible man. I helped put back together the little girl his ex left him with after he beat her nearly to death. I'm a damn good surgeon and a more than passable chef, and now that I've properly drugged him, he's going to be the main entree in my next exquisite meal for the next d-bag that thinks brutalizing women and children is a fun sport. Bon appetit motherfucker.

It's so hard to meet the right guys nowadays. I've joined all the dating apps and every once in a while I'll meet a guy who I click with. It's not hard to get a booty call guy, but it's the really deep guys I search out. The guys who want more than just a one night stand, who know how to really treat a woman with disrespect and misogyny.
I've always had a thing for the "bad" guys. I'm a relatively powerful woman and because as a woman surgeon everyone basically walks on eggshells around me, and that makes it hard to find guys who don't act like I'm the queen bee. I'm a damn good surgeon and they all want me on "their side" when their patients need care. Dating a guy who will give me a little disrespect and a lewd smack on the ass gives me a thrill I just can't pass up. Finding the guy with just the right amount of "jerk" under his belt is such a turn on. I can't get enough of them. Often with large trucks, larger muscles and brains the size of a misshaped walnut is the type that drives me wild.
Giovanni rolled up to pick me up all swagger and bravado, and when I saw him on the first date it made me hopeful I had finally found the one. He thinks he's such badass boy, but I really give him a run for his money. He's excited that I'm a damn good cook as well as looking damn good, if a little on the heavier side (which he's pointed out to me a few times in a crass way that really gets my motor going). I've prepared a really nice meal for our third date tonight, after all the third date is always the special one if you know what I mean wink. He eats like the barbarian he thinks he are, belching without excuse and assuring me that he'll help me "work off" the gourmet meal I've cooked for us after. When he ate the creme brulee before I could even properly torch the top of his because "the only thing I should light on fire is his junk" I rolled my eyes politely while thinking to myself he has no idea how very right he is.
You see, I know for a fact Giovanni is a womanizer and a horrible man. I helped put back together the little girl his ex left him with after he beat her nearly to death. I'm a damn good surgeon and a more than passable chef, and now that I've properly drugged him, he's going to be the main entree in my next exquisite meal for the next d-bag that thinks brutalizing women and children is a fun sport. Bon appetit motherfucker.

I live at my great grandmothers house with my 3 best friends Katie, Ethan and Lydia; and we rent from my grandma.
So some background; we live in a 2 bedroom house. I share a room with Lydia and Katie and Ethan are dating so they share a room. We have a lot of cats and this is where it gets complicated. I’ll spare you the deets because I’d probably run out of space but pretty much none of the cats get along so we separated them. My two cats, Socks and Toothless, stay out in the living room because they are the most social. Katie’s cats stay in her room and Lydia’s cat stays in our room. We only let them out if we can supervise them or else there will be some pretty vicious cat fights.
Lydia and I have seen no issue with this but Ethan and Katie have started a pretty serious argument over it. They claim it is unfair that their cats have to stay in the room. Me and Lydia agreed that it is not the idea situation but offered to help monitor the cats when she wants to let them out. Katie suggests that I should keep my cat Socks in a carrier and put her in my room with Lydia’s cat at night since Socks charges into their room. I wouldnt agree to do that and that caused a lot of anger.
Ever since then there’s been a lot of tension in the house. Even though once apon a time me and Katie were bffs, she doesn’t even talk to me anymore: only to tell me to clean or to ask if I can pick her up from work/school.
So the bad part comes when I go on a week long camping trip. I come back and Lydia tells me that Katie and Ethan have been full force throwing shoes and other heavy objects at my cat, claiming they don’t like her and laughing about it. Socks is now terrified all the time. She hides all the time and runs away when she sees Katie or Ethan. She is such a social and happy cat so to see her like this is heartbreaking.
I confronted them about this pretty quick; and told them they need to stop this immediately or I will have to ask them to leave. All this has been met with is tension and arguments because Socks is “the problem”. Lydia just told me yesterday she heard them throwing things and saw Socks run into the room with her ears back.
I don’t want to put my cat in a situation where she is abused but I don’t know if I’m in the right to ask them to leave. It will ruin our friendship forever but I feel like I have to protect my cat.
Tldr: My lifelong friends are throwing things and scaring my cat. Should I kick them out?

For context, they dated for a few months sophomore year of high school and we're seniors in college now (so 5-6 years ago).
Him and I were best friends since 5th grade, but sort of drifted apart once we hit college. We still hung out a bit but not nearly as much. Then we really drifted apart juniosenior year, and then had a huge argument at the beginning of last semester. I decided that given the stuff he said, combined with realizing it was an unhealthy friendship, it was time to end that friendship.
He left me a gift and an apology note on my front steps on Christmas after not talking since the argument, so I let him back into my life but told him straight up we probably wouldn't be that close. We text occasionally and talk on Snapchat and that's about it.
The problem is, a few weeks after the argument in September I started hooking up with his ex from 5-6 years ago. It had NOTHING to do with wanting to get revenge and nothing to do with him, things just happened. We started officially dating in January. I've been sort of distant with the friend now, partially because I'm just not as interested in being friends, and also because I feel awkward with him now that I'm dating her. I don't know if he knows, since I've never told him but he's probably seen the snap stories of heus.
Last night he sent me a snap saying "I feel like we're not actually cool rn". I was out drinking and didn't know what to say so I just said "wdym?" Should I tell him straight up that her and I are dating? Part of me feels like I should be honest as to why I'm distant with him.
tl;dr: Old long time friend and I had a huge falling out in September. Couple of weeks later I started dating his ex of a few months from 5-6 years ago. He noticed that I've been distant with him ever since reconnecting. Should I tell him we're dating?