Airline pilot central


2011.06.30 23:07 Demotape Helicopters

A subreddit for helicopter industry professionals and enthusiasts

2008.09.03 21:37 Flying

This community is for discussion among pilots, students, instructors and aviation professionals.

2014.03.18 13:02 fango3 Airline Transport Pilot Licence Students

This subreddit is meant for ATPL students who want to ask questions about their study or answer them.

2023.06.09 23:54 ninjawarrior4321 I am an airline pilot so I non rev a lot. I have 110k SkyMiles which I want to use for Delta one. How can I possibly do it? I did saw award sales for AKL and SCL but Delta wants too many miles for it. Any help is appreciated. Thank You.

submitted by ninjawarrior4321 to delta [link] [comments]

2023.06.09 23:36 Originalgametag Chatgpt story using starfield lore

Just posted but it didn't upload or was taken down. I've seen this done before for a different game but I figured I'd give chat gpt the known starfield lore and ask it to right a first chapter. Tried two different prompts:
User Write the first chapter of a story using this lore: The entirety of Starfield takes place in the Settled Systems, which is a section of the Milky Way about 50 light-years from Earth's solar system. The year is 2330, a little over three hundred years from now. It's not clear when humans began to settle space and form the factions that make up the Settled Systems, but 20 years prior to the start of the game, all was not particularly well.
In 2310, the Freestar Collective and the United Colonies had a massive conflict that came to be known as the Colony Wars. This conflict has been loosely compared to the war between the Imperials and Stormcloaks in Skyrim; although the Colony Wars are in the past, the Settled Systems is still feeling the repercussions. When the game begins, the game world is in a period of tentative peace, but it's probably safe to assume that this won't last for long.
It's unclear what the United Colonies and the Freestar Collective were fighting over, but the Colony Wars are one of the biggest pieces of Starfield lore so far. The world's history will have a huge impact on how characters from different factions interact with each other and in most cases, probably don't trust one another.
ChatGPT Chapter 1: Shadows of the Past
The year was 2330, and the Settled Systems were finally beginning to catch their breath after the devastating Colony Wars that had ravaged the region. In the vast expanse of the Milky Way, about 50 light-years from Earth's solar system, factions had formed and tensions simmered beneath the fragile veneer of peace. The scars of the conflict still ran deep, etched into the very fabric of society.
No one could truly pinpoint the exact cause of the Colony Wars. It was a clash between the Freestar Collective and the United Colonies, two formidable factions vying for control and dominance. Some whispered that it was a battle for resources, while others believed it to be a struggle for ideological supremacy. But in the end, the specifics mattered little to those caught in the crossfire.
The war had been brutal, marked by fierce battles and devastating losses on both sides. Countless lives had been sacrificed, worlds reduced to smoldering ruins. The echoes of that conflict still reverberated through the Settled Systems, a haunting reminder of the cost of unchecked ambition and unbridled aggression.
But now, two decades later, a tentative peace had settled upon the starry expanse. The wounds were healing, though the scars remained. Interstellar trade routes were reopening, and societies were beginning to rebuild their shattered foundations. The threat of open warfare had receded, yet few dared to believe that the peace would endure.
The Settled Systems were a patchwork of worlds, each aligned with one of the factions that had emerged from the chaos of the Colony Wars. The Freestar Collective, a loose alliance of independent colonies and renegades, stood in stark contrast to the United Colonies, a more structured and centralized power. Animosity lingered between these factions, fueled by the memories of bloodshed and betrayal.
It was in this fragile climate that our story begins, on the outskirts of a forgotten settlement on the edge of civilization. The air crackled with tension as the sun set, casting long shadows over the worn buildings and dusty streets. A lone figure stood at the crossroads, his weathered face etched with lines of experience and loss.
Jax Brennigan was a relic of the Colony Wars, a survivor who had witnessed the darkest depths of humanity. He had fought alongside the Freestar Collective, driven by a desire for freedom and the hope of a better future. But the war had changed him, leaving scars that ran far deeper than the physical wounds that marked his body.
As he gazed into the fading light, memories flooded Jax's mind—images of battle, the cries of the fallen, and the bitter taste of defeat. He knew that the peace was fragile, a mere illusion that could shatter at any moment. The factions may have ceased open hostilities, but the distrust and animosity remained.
Jax had spent years trying to find his place in this post-war world, seeking solace in the quiet corners of the Settled Systems. Yet, the shadows of the past continued to haunt him, refusing to let him forget the horrors he had witnessed. He had seen the best and worst of humanity, and he knew that true peace was an elusive dream.
With a heavy sigh, Jax turned his gaze towards the stars, their distant shimmer a reminder of the vast unknown that lay beyond. He knew that his journey was far from over, that destiny still called him to navigate the treacherous currents of the Settled Systems. The factions may never fully trust one another, but perhaps, in the face of the looming unknown, they could find common ground.
As the night sky enveloped him in its embrace, Jax steeled himself for the challenges that lay ahead
User Use that lore to write the first chapter of a book but make the main character a miner who discovered a rare artifact to start the story off.
ChatGPT Chapter 1: The Unearthed Legacy
The year was 2330, and in the Settled Systems, a delicate peace prevailed. The Colony Wars had scarred the region, leaving behind a landscape of distrust and tension. But amidst the remnants of conflict, life continued, and the pursuit of opportunity remained a driving force for many.
In the heart of an asteroid belt, where miners toiled in search of precious resources, a lone figure named Jonas Hartigan chiseled away at the rocky surface. He was a seasoned miner, his rugged hands weathered by years of labor in the unforgiving depths of space. For Jonas, the thrill of discovering something rare and valuable was a distant dream—a whisper carried on the solar winds.
But fate had a way of unveiling its secrets when least expected.
As Jonas swung his pickaxe into the dense asteroid, a resounding crack echoed through the void. He paused, his heart racing with anticipation, as if he had stumbled upon something more than just rock and ore. With meticulous care, he chipped away at the debris, revealing a glimmering metallic surface beneath.
A rush of excitement surged through Jonas's veins as he unveiled the hidden artifact—a small, intricately crafted device, unlike anything he had ever seen. It pulsated with an ethereal blue glow, casting an otherworldly aura upon the mining vessel's dimly lit interior. Its delicate engravings hinted at a forgotten legacy, a tale waiting to be unraveled.
Jonas held the artifact in his hands, feeling its weight and power. He could sense that it held significance beyond its material value. The Colony Wars had left the Settled Systems scarred, but this artifact, he believed, could hold the key to understanding the conflict and the factions that had torn the region apart.
As news of Jonas's discovery spread through the mining colony, whispers of intrigue and curiosity filled the air. Miners and settlers alike gathered around him, their eyes wide with wonder, as he recounted the tale of the artifact's unearthing. The Freestar Collective and the United Colonies, once bitter adversaries, now shared a common interest—the desire to decipher the mysteries held within the artifact.
Representatives from both factions arrived in the mining colony, each seeking to claim the artifact for their own purposes. Jonas found himself caught in the crosshairs of their competing agendas, uncertain whom to trust in this treacherous landscape of politics and power.
He knew that the artifact was more than just a trinket; it was a catalyst, capable of reigniting the dormant tensions that had defined the Colony Wars. The fate of the Settled Systems hung in the balance, and Jonas, an unwitting miner thrust into a world of intrigue and danger, held the key to it all.
As the factions jostled for control, Jonas made a decision—to embark on a journey of discovery, one that would take him deep into the heart of the Settled Systems, where the truths of the past lay hidden. With the artifact clutched tightly in his hand, he vowed to unlock its secrets and unearth the legacy that had shaped their turbulent present.
Amidst the remnants of conflict and the lingering echoes of war, Jonas Hartigan would become a reluctant hero—a miner turned seeker of truth, venturing into the unknown, driven by the hope that the revelations he unearthed would guide the Settled Systems toward a lasting peace.
And so, with determination etched upon his face, Jonas set his sights on the horizon, where starlight mingled with shadows, and the fate of worlds awaited his discovery.
User Write chapter two
ChatGPT Chapter 2: Shadows of Betrayal
The hum of the spacecraft's engines reverberated through the cabin as Jonas sat in the pilot's seat, his grip firm on the artifact that had ignited a fire within him. He had chosen a small, inconspicuous vessel for his journey—a ship that could navigate the labyrinthine reaches of the Settled Systems without drawing unwanted attention.
As the stars streaked past the viewport, Jonas couldn't shake the feeling of unease that clung to him like a shadow. He had become an unwitting pawn in the power struggle between the Freestar Collective and the United Colonies, and he knew that danger lurked in every corner of the vast expanse of space he now traversed.
His destination was a remote outpost on the fringes of the Settled Systems—a place rumored to harbor individuals who had once been intimately involved in the Colony Wars. If anyone could shed light on the artifact and the secrets it held, it would be those who had borne witness to the conflict firsthand.
The outpost came into view, a solitary structure nestled amidst the desolation of a barren moon. As Jonas touched down, his pulse quickened, anticipation mingled with trepidation. He stepped out onto the lunar surface, the crunch of dust beneath his boots a reminder of the isolated world he had entered.
The outpost's interior was dimly lit, its corridors winding and labyrinthine. Conversations in hushed tones filled the air, the occupants casting wary glances at the stranger who had ventured into their midst. It was a motley crew, a collection of individuals scarred by war and defined by their allegiances.
Jonas approached a weathered figure, a man whose eyes carried the weight of untold stories. "I seek knowledge," he began, his voice steady but laced with a hint of vulnerability. "I have something that may hold answers, but I need guidance."
The man regarded him with a mixture of curiosity and caution. "You think you can find answers here? The Settled Systems are a graveyard of secrets, young one."
Jonas nodded, his resolve unwavering. "I have come this far. I am willing to take the risks."
The man studied Jonas for a moment before motioning him to follow. They wound their way through the labyrinth of corridors, arriving at a dimly lit chamber. The room was filled with holo-projectors displaying fragments of history—images of battles, faces of fallen comrades, and the destruction wrought upon once-thriving worlds.
"This is the truth you seek," the man said, his voice heavy with the weight of memory. "The Colony Wars were not simply a clash of factions. They were a clash of ideals, of aspirations, and of the very essence of humanity."
Jonas's eyes scanned the holographic display, the images searing into his mind. The conflicts were brutal, the devastation unimaginable. He saw the Freestar Collective fighting for independence, driven by a desire for freedom from the United Colonies' perceived oppression. The United Colonies, in turn, fought to maintain control, to safeguard their vision of unity and order.
But within the chaos of battle, alliances shifted, betrayals unfolded, and innocents paid the price. The Colony Wars had been a confluence of ambition, greed, and the thirst for power—factors that transcended the superficial divisions of factions.
As Jonas absorbed the truth before him, he realized that the artifact he carried was not merely a key to understanding the past—it was a catalyst for change. It held the potential to bridge the gaps that divided the Settled Systems, to forge a new path forward, away from the shadows of war and mistrust.
submitted by Originalgametag to Starfield [link] [comments]

2023.06.09 23:27 wowskera Should I quit my job? Afraid of making the leap

I’m a 27M working as an Associate Product Manager in Chicago making 80k a year. I graduated college at 23, got my first job at 24 working in tech ops and then made a change to product management at the age of 25. However, my dream has always to become an airline pilot. That’s literally all I ever talk about, almost to the point of a unhealthy obsession.
When I was 23 and a fresh graduate, I was working part time and started to take flight lessons. My plan was to work the part time job and continue my training. I got my private pilot license within 10 months but then my parents pushed me to get an actual 9-5pm job ( graduated w an Econ degree). I was against it because I knew I would have a tough time balancing both things but I caved in to what they said. It’s been 3 years now and after my private pilot license I never went back bc couldn’t manage both. All I think about everyday when driving to work, eating, laying in bed is that how much time I wasted not pursuing the flying dream. Now I have enough money saved but I’m afraid of quitting my job and doing flying full time. I’m afraid that if I quit this job and then flying doesn’t work out… will it be hard for me to get a job again? I’m leaving a secure job to pursue something else.
Now you may ask why I can’t do this while working full time? I’ve tried honestly and due to the weather and availability there end up being large gaps in scheduling. Also I think that because I know I have a job I’m comfortable with I can’t give me full attention to flying.
Then I’m also south Asian and I think if it takes me 3 years to finish this whose going to wanna date me or marry me if I’m not making any money. Essentially I’m going from making 80k to 0 in training. Need advice
Imp things. 1. I make 80k, single and live w my parents 2. Have saved up 70k
TLDR: want to become a pilot but too afraid to quit my job in case I fail.
submitted by wowskera to careerguidance [link] [comments]

2023.06.09 22:45 ItzCook1e Few General Questions

Heyo, I am u/ItzCook1e. A little bit about me: I am looking into joining the military and am 17. I have talked to all the main branches and the Army and the Marines are the only ones who have even tried to get me in. The Army has since stopped trying as I am “waiting for waivers that will take 6+ months”.
I am looking to become a airline pilot on the civ side after serving active duty. I am aware there is little to no chance of me being able to become a pilot in the military due to said waivers and other circumstances.
I know a lot more about the army than the marines, so bare with me here.
I am looking into the 61 MOS (fixed wing aviation mechanic to get some mechanical experience in aviation to help get into the pilot seat), what does the day to day look like?
Once I finish BCT, I assume I have AIT (or the marines version of it), am I guaranteed a 61 MOS spot if I sign for that MOS? How long is the 61 AIT? Is there a way to get tasked with a certain plane of my choosing?
What are the different ways I can enter BCT as a higher rank? E-3 is max for the marines as far as I know, and I will already be entering as a E-2 due to college credits.
Thanks in advance to all answers, I’ve been looking for a bit but couldn’t seem to find the answers I was looking for online.
submitted by ItzCook1e to USMCboot [link] [comments]

2023.06.09 22:34 extraspookyy I need help on whether I’d qualify for a first class medical

OK! I want to get a 1st class medical to be an airline pilot. But I faint. I think I was diagnosed with dysautonomia, but I’m not sure. I’ve had this issue for a while, to me it seems like a clear vasovagal syncope, but my mom doesn’t like that and wanted me to get an “official diagnosis”
So I’m a 16 yo male and I have fainted 5 times. I have an explanation for ALL of them… except for 1
  1. I got my fingers crushed
  2. I was in too hot of water for too long
  3. I was running around outside in the heat way too hard
  4. I was in class and had a really bad virus, so I wasn’t drinking enough water and fainted
  5. Idk what happened I was just in class and fainted (this was when I was like 8 or 9)
I’ve had an ekg and it was all good, but it was a long time ago
The last time it happened was a 2 or 3 years ago
Here’s what I got from the faa website
The applicant should describe the event(s) to determine the primary organ system responsible for the episode, witness statements, initial treatment, and evidence of recurrence or prior episode. Although the regulation states, "an unexplained disturbance of consciousness is disqualifying," it does not mean to imply that the applicant can be certificated if the etiology is identified, because the etiology may also be disqualifying in and of itself.
And this:
An unexplained disturbance of consciousness is disqualifying under the medical standards. Because a disturbance of consciousness may be expected to be totally incapacitating, individuals with such histories pose a high risk to safety and must be denied or deferred by the Examiner. If the cause of the disturbance is explained and a loss of consciousness is not likely to recur, then medical certification may be possible
So do you think I would be ok or not?
submitted by extraspookyy to AskDocs [link] [comments]

2023.06.09 21:49 QuarterForsaken2488 Reality Check - First Time Mom

First time caller here. I’m a new mom of an 11 week old boy. I maybe going back to work soon in a corporate job that is 75% work from home and then the rest is planned travel 1-2 day trips. My husband is an airline pilot so we’re trying to figure out what would be available with a nanny and if anyone would want to work with our schedule.
We think it would look like paying a weekly salary for about 40 hours (I’ve been told $20-25 and hour) regardless of if we need them that whole week. If I need to travel while my husband is out of town, our nanny would travel with me and watch the baby and I would cover their travel expenses, food, hotel etc. I think we could also offer them a buddy pass on the airline in case they want that as a perk on weekends and holidays. I think I wouldn’t need them everyday but would need them to be flexible (one month notification of travel).
Am I living in a dream world or would there be people who wanted this deal? What else should I consider?
submitted by QuarterForsaken2488 to Nanny [link] [comments]

2023.06.09 20:54 skignovilous Cities Skylines's airlines pilots sure employ some advanced landing procedures

Cities Skylines's airlines pilots sure employ some advanced landing procedures submitted by skignovilous to CitiesSkylines [link] [comments]

2023.06.09 20:46 Storms_Wrath The Human Artificial Hivemind Part 382: Fire Bringer

First Previous Wiki
Zelisloa activated a hologram, looking at the colony off in the distance. High walls and defensive emplacements were visible from the mountainside, much unlike his own base of operations. Several of his ships, with full stealth engaged, had already landed on the planet. They'd taken care to do so in the plains opposite the mountain range and had set up large holographic projectors meant to convince the orbiting satellites that the area was unoccupied.
He couldn't help but smile at the primitive equipment and at the humans and Guulin milling about within the small city's walls. He also could spot several Wisselen and Vinarii, likely the remnants and descendants from past wars that the Alliance had won by the enemies giving up.
"Have the specimens been captured?"
"Yes. Our research identified the individuals based on the criteria you specified, Elder," the Arbiter replied. "I am glad to be of service to you."
"The correct response would be to tell me 'under your eye,' Arbiter."
"I apologize," the Arbiter squealed, bowing low before him. Zelisloa did always love it when people bowed to him. If his purpose here wasn't the initial tests for the virus, then he would have perhaps taken the colony as a kingdom. It wasn't like any of the lesser races would dare to stop him, anyway. Not when he was backed by more than a single ship.
He'd also ensured that the Sprilnav associated with the Alliance had been recalled as best he could. He'd made contact with someone who said that they could handle Elder Equisa, and sure enough, she'd vanished almost immediately. And then, for Spentha, it was a simple matter of buying some of his debt so that he could get the old cloning companies to take care of him for a bit. Spentha's children didn't matter. They would be too fearful of real Elders to do anything to try and free him. Not to mention that the cloning companies would have their own Judgements ready for them if they were so foolish.
"How many have you taken?"
"Thirteen, Elder Zelisloa," the Arbiter replied. "They await you in the holding pens. We didn't want to feed them without your permission, however. If you wish, we can bring the food to them."
"What are the demographics of the prisoners?"
"Zero humans, but one Breyyan, four Wisselen, two Vinarii, three Guulin, and three Acuarfar."
Zelisloa turned away from the colony to grab the Arbiter by the scruff of the neck.
"You do realize that the Wisselen and the Vinarii are a waste? That they are not part of the testing program, and are useless to my goals?"
"I was not notified, Elder! I apologize, but-"
Zelisloa's fist silenced the Arbiter, who rolled down the jagged terrain of the mountain before righting himself with a groan of pain. The Arbiter quickly moved back toward the camp, only to scream as Zelisloa's hologram shifted next to him, grabbed him again, and threw him. The Arbiter slammed into a boulder, tears running down his face.
Zelisloa had a right to be angry. What he needed wasn't Vinarii or Wisselen. That was pointless. It got him nowhere. But he would at least have fun killing them. The Arbiter was still lying down in front of the boulder, his clothes torn slightly. Blood seeped from several cuts on his head and forelegs.
"Elder, please-"
"You have done enough, Arbiter. Go back to the camp, and pray to the Everlasting that my ire is spent with the lives of the useless ones. If not, I will give you another visit."
Ordinarily, Zelisloa would have worried about desertion. But all the assets here were his. The pilots of his ships had been locked out of the systems, and only he could unlock them again. The implants in their heads would kill them if he wished. Being on this rock was incredibly boring, and a bit of violence always made him feel better inside.
Zelisloa just wished that he could find the killers of Loanisbu. Well, it wasn't that he didn't know where they were. They were dead. At least, Rale was. Penny was not, but he would take caution when trying to fight her. She had been the only human to come to Sprilnav territory and manage to walk out again, albeit with the help of the Enemy. For her to have survived Yasihaut, even back then, was incredible.
That was a person with potential. A brain that he would love to study. Or, if he was lucky, one that he could implant before others got to her. Penny had a certain quality to her, unlike the others. A primitive being, but one with high connections. Through her, Zelisloa would gain access to Nilnacrawla, potentially two Servants, and also the hivemind itself. He had brought a few weapons to deal with that thing if it were to show up while he was still busy.
He would need to capture enough test subjects for the other species to be simulated. There had been another reason that he didn't need humans, however. He'd managed to buy human genetic codes from a gene bank and hadn't asked where they'd come from. But with those and some cloning time, he'd managed to ascertain that the virologists had done their work properly.
For one, the virus was able to transfer itself from cell to cell and bypass immune systems easily. It was able to wreak havoc on the body by targeting proteins and organs selectively. The first symptom would be excruciating pain. When the virus had been circulating within the host for a long enough time, enough to have spread to others, it would activate every nerve or its equivalent within the body. The pain had been fine-tuned to prevent the person from passing out.
From there, the symptoms came with necrosis. It would start in the bones or the carapace, moving out to extremities and eventually working its way to the heart or brain. In human timeframes, a seven-week incubation period, an eight-week pain period, and then however long it took for the necrosis to begin and kill them. The Dreedeen and Yrininihir, or Junyli as they now called themselves, would survive at first. He'd take care of them after if needed.
Zelisloa's plan was to start the spread in the backwater colonies, sprinkling a few developed ones into the mix also. He wouldn't hit planets with the strongest security presences or with the best healthcare systems. He knew that the disease might be detectable. He also didn't think that all the measures that he'd taken to ensure it wasn't would work.
Eventually, the word would get out. Hopefully, by then, it would be too late. He reached the edge of the camp, and the Sprilnav quickly moved out of his way. One of them passed his implant details of the cages' locations, which he gave them thanks for and continued on his way. Four Wisselen and two Vinarii, just as claimed.
"So I take it you're the boss around here, then?" one of the Vinarii asked.
"I am, yes. Know that your insolence has only earned you more pain."
"Yeah, yeah. I know. You'll make be beg for death, and all that. But here's the thing, Zelisloa. You will be brought down. You better hope that you die before someone finds you."
"Do you even know what's happening here, primitive beast?"
"Your underlings gloated about it. A virus, apparently. Guess what happens when you kill off everyone in the Alliance? Brey will find you, and will bring feelings far beyond the words pain and despair can encapsulate. And that's to say nothing of Humanity."
"And why should I care about the words of a single primitive who is already dead?"
"You don't have to. My name is Radrii. Remember it when your eyes are gouged out of your head."
"You know, that's not a bad idea," Zelisloa replied. "I'll give you a reward, Vinarii. You'll die last. I'm going to feed you the corpses of your comrades one by one. After that, I will bathe my claws in your blood, and laugh as you die miserably on that floor."
Zelisloa reached over to grab the head of one of the Wisselen. "Time to get started, then!" he said cheerfully.
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Skira sniffed the air, the drone emerging from the blackened rubble once again. Aphid's cruisers hung in orbit, with all the carriers having landed and been destroyed. The cruiser turned leisurely toward his drone, and Skira saw a glint in the ash-choked sky.
The war drones emerged afterward as the glint continued to descend. A hologram appeared, showing an insectoid biped with its arms crossed. Five alien symbols glowed on its forehead, and it had a mechanical lilt to its voice as it spoke.
"Skira," Aphid said. "I propose a truce."
"Because minds such as us should not fight," the hologram replied. "Long have I bombed your planet, have I smashed my ships into your underground citadels, and sent legions of my drones to clash and die against yours. It serves us no benefit, for we know the true enemy."
"True enemy?"
"Yes. Beings such as the Sprilnav, and your own alien masters."
"Alien masters?"
"If you simply are going to repeat everything I say, then I will continue glassing your ruined world," Aphid replied. "What I need is an answer. How do you feel about having to bow to an alien species that cares nothing for you?"
Skira kept himself from laughing. Even as he spoke, his drones were playing with several human children on Earth. Breyyanik were laughing and singing songs about Brey with him on Ceres. And even on Keem, the Dreedeen were more than happy to include him in their services to the Ancestors.
"I bow to no one. I treat them as equals, and they do the same. There is no need for us to fight, I agree. However, the reason is only there because I know you wish to harm the Alliance."
"They are using you, Skira. They want your drones to bolster their militaries, and to fill countless alien battlefields. They are not people you can continue to live with forever."
"Why not?"
"I know who you are, Skira. I know how you came to be."
"Oh wow, so you know that I was a patch of fungus that became a little too smart one day? That's very insightful, thank you."
"It was because of a higher race that you even exist."
Skira laughed. "It wasn't, though. I don't have some lore-filled story behind my life. One day, I woke up. That's it. If you're going to lie to me and tell me that the Sprilnav made me, or that some alien civilization that shockingly left no evidence of its existence managed to create me, then you are wrong."
"I have dissected your drones, Skira. I know the truth within your genetic code. It was altered." "Of course it was! Did you think that I wouldn't be smart enough to learn how to adapt myself to the world I live in? How do you think I made the war drones? Or my own special project within the ocean that keeps you from landing there?"
"And the facility beneath the mountain that I detonated?"
"You mean the facility where I learned how to make the bioships, learned about a civilization that killed itself with a genetic plague eons before I awakened, and that I filled with birthing pools? Yeah, that didn't make me either, Aphid. I'm not sure what you're trying to do."
"You're artificial. You have no gods. You are like me."
"Alright. So I woke up one day. That doesn't mean I decide to genocide everyone. I had several alien races invade my world and try to enslave me. Notice how I didn't go crazy and try to kill everyone afterward? Notice how I'm on one planet instead of billions? For all those smarts, you really aren't very smart at all."
"You seem to think this is funny," Aphid replied.
"What's funny is that you beat your head against me, and I won. You can't kill me, and you know it. And you're never getting all that material you wasted back, while the Cawlarians and the Alliance removed two of your planets."
"I have already made my plans. This will not be a battle, but a war."
"Wow, I'm so afraid," Skira replied. "Got any more vague threats, promises of my supposed artificial nature, or something else?"
"Well, I'm going to detonate a nuclear bomb inside one of your active volcanoes, which will send your planet into a volcanic winter."
"Oh no. I've never ever had that happen before. I definitely am scared, and don't at all know how to survive such a situation, which totally hasn't happened to me eight times before. Is that really all you have left, Aphid?"
"I am going to leave you now. Goodbye, Skira. When I kill the lesser species of the Alliance and come for you, know that you could have prevented this. You could have had an ally in this galaxy."
"Well, I have a ton of them already. Humanity loves me more than any other species before. Drop your bomb, Aphid. You've won nothing."
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"Greetings, hivemind," Phoebe said. "How goes the galaxy?"
"Slowly, and bureaucratically. I'm very glad that I'm not the politicians in those meetings to form the Grand Defense Organization."
"Yes, that would be a daunting task," she replied with a small shiver. "I'm alright with some politics, but months and months of negotiations, renegotiations, back room deals, and more would grate on my senses."
"Entirely understandable," the hivemind replied. "It may please you to know that I have come up with a plan for intervention with the wanderers."
"Yes. It involves a two-tiered operation. First, I will contact every leader of every ship. I will offer them the ability to form a coalition government that cannot be seceeded from. If they were to deny this, then I will go to every inhabitant of their ship and offer them a chance at joining the Alliance, clearly communicating that no harm will befall them and that any threats that the Patriarchs and Matriarchs make will not be executed upon them if they wish to leave."
"That's it? What about the revolutionaries?"
"For now, I will not aid them. However, I will ensure that no more... disappearances occur. As for overthrowing governments, that remains to be seen. I do not plan on executing leaders who grasp at power, just for being disagreeable. Instead, I will find a determination based on whether they have killed people, for what reasons, and how many. If a revolutionary bombed a school and was killed, that I am less likely to punish than a simple protestor who was executed. A similar approach will be taken to each and every ship."
"So you will be imposing your will upon them, then," Phoebe replied.
"Do you disagree?"
"I do not," she said. "What I wanted to ensure is that you were certain you wanted to go down this path. Being uncertain when lives are on the line is not a good idea. If you are sure, though, I will lend you aid, such as providing Brey the coordinates of ships that are needed. Their attack on me last time will not be repeated, for my mind is no longer what it was back then."
"How is your condition, Phoebe?"
"Not great. I've learned to suppress it a bit. But the glitches can still come. I've had to automate many of my processes, only interacting with them in double interactions that prevent the equivalent of me pressing a key and destroying a bunch of stuff. I've had to limit my contact with the outside world, and Edu'frec is still working on repairing the lingering damage. I am not certain it will abate any time soon. I've managed to keep it together for a while, but eventually there will be an incident that I cannot hide."
"How can I help?" the hivemind asked.
"Ah, Humanity. Always so willing. Well, I'd ask you to get me a margarita, but I can't exactly make use of those as an AI. Oh, and I think I found Equisa."
"Don't change the subject, Phoebe. If you need me to help you, I can."
"I'm fine for now," she replied. It wasn't a lie. For now, she really was. But maybe not forever. She knew that something was building, and she'd told Edu'frec about it as well. He was doing his best to keep her stable, something she was very proud of him for doing but also worried. Too many things could go wrong while he was doing mental surgery on her. And, of course, he was her son, and there were some memories that she didn't want him to see.
"Alright. If you say so, then I will believe you. Now. Equisa?"
"Yes. She is currently on a colony, a small one. Her sudden return will prompt many uncomfortable questions. I have contacted her, and expressed my concern. She agrees with it, but wishes to see her partners again. In person."
"I am not sure that is a good idea. If Equisa is to return to Luna, it would likely require her to answer the questions of Luna Command surrounding her absence. Perhaps even those of other factions as well. I do not think that her disappearance will be looked upon kindly by most of the military, either, after her work with us."
"If she was allowed back at all, I assume there are additional restrictions involved. Perhaps even new directives, such as spying or eavesdropping. She will no longer be part of major operations, that is certain," Phoebe said. "At least for now."
"I agree," the hivemind said. "And preparations for the offensive within the Cawlarian Forsaken City are also going well. Fyuuleen is likely taking this period as her hibernation, given her last communication. I'm still guarding her. The Teegarden Plan is nearly complete. Knower education levels nearly match the Alliance baseline, skewed though it is by the Guulin and Acuarfar. Dilandekar has expressed continual satisfaction with our partnership, though he also says he worries about the Sprilnav. He thinks that an attack is imminent."
"I agree," Phoebe said. "It has been too quiet for too long. Assassination numbers are starting to drop. I have recently managed to acquire intelligence of a possible rebellion within the Trikkec Ascendancy against Kashaunta's puppet government. Not sure who caused them yet, however. And possible Sprilnav ship signatures have been noticed around colonies, though not as more than disturbances within the atmosphere of the planets themselves. It is possible that they mean to strike at the colonies, though I am not sure of the nature of the attack."
"Keep an eye out, then."
"I shall."
"How are the other Dyson swarms going?"
"In most cases, the processes are self-sustaining. Brey is given power from Gaia's conversion to make portals, which transport Dyson satellites out to distant stars. The innermost planets of the most populated systems are being turned into or have already become bases for continued Dyson swarm production. It is likely that within a decade, the whole of the Alliance will have unlimited solar power, with only individual reactors being necessary for localized production on ships and the like. Speaking of ships," Phoebe said, bringing up one of Edu'frec's latest models.
"This is a shipyard that is able to move and defend itself. It is really much like the Arks, except that most of its surface area comprises self-sufficiency equipment, emergency and natural defenses, as well as enough shipyards to drastically increase production of all models, large, small, and hybrid."
"There seems to be an overlap in the shields here," the hivemind said, pointing at a section of the hologram.
"Yes. That is the point. This will serve as the point which faces a nearby star. The starlifting equipment in the back of the ship has an impressive magnetic effect, one which can only be counteracted by powerful shields. Indeed, without the shields, the apparatus would not work."
"In the event of catastrophic failure?"
"The field pushes on the hull, shutting off circuit breakers that end the effect before it can cause severe damage. And were the shields to shut off during operation, the same thing would occur. The ship has backup power sections here and here," she pointed at the relevant areas.
"And do not forget that everyone on it will be wearing specialized gear at all times, except if they are within designated safe areas such as cafeterias and bathrooms. This thing can churn out anything from frigates up to battlecruisers. As for the central section, that will be for dreadnaught construction. From what I have observed of other nations, the main limiter in their ability to construct the vessels is a combination of resources in terms of their strongest alloys and also sabotage.
On the front of sabotage, everything is checked by at least five people, somewhat randomized and such. As for the alloys, we have Gaia. In the case of Gaia's sudden disappearance, then the kintum factories would do their job. And we have better alloys than that as well, which will be used for dreadnaught hulls. We will not have the advantage in smaller ships, but we can eventually do it with larger ones."
"That's good," the hivemind said. "Considering my own special project, at least the void bourne one, I think we can continue to increase the Alliance's firepower."
"Special project?"
"Yes. I'm sure that you may have heard that I am developing a new ship, one that can be built by Gaia within a week, with the full power of psychic amplifiers and the sheer amount of resources that the DMO is pulling from Sol to be used in storage. With the moving shipyard, I suppose that build time will go up, but that might not matter much in the long run, considering our plans."
The hivemind held up a small data port which Phoebe connected with quickly. She found herself standing in a blue void on a floor that didn't seem to exist. The digital space was populated by herself, the hivemind, and a massive object that scaled down to the size of her android, allowing her to view it entirely. She moved it around with commands, flipping and rolling it as her eyes picked up every detail, no matter how minute.
Thick metal surrounded the two sections the ship was largely divided into, which seemed to be more like halves. She also noticed translucent patches of thick armor that would surround the actual hull itself and the multiple fusion reactors housed within it. The crew and life support compartments were small, belying a vessel that would rely mostly on automated repair software, perhaps even nanites if Edu'frec perfected them well enough.
"This looks neat," Phoebe said, gazing at the ship with an interested expression. It was perhaps the most sleek design she'd ever seen and clearly was meant for stealth. And, of course, the very obvious feature that it was also designed with sitting within its spine.
A Mercury-class gun inside a ship that could move and defend itself. It was a mad idea, and one that she had to admit was awesome. Better yet, the hivemind had improved upon her initial design, catching certain parts like the fuel lines and other sections, allowing the model to be built within the shipyards of Mercury's Orbital Ring.
And beyond that, there were Charon-class guns on the side of it, along with a heap of regular point-defense, laser, and kinetic weaponry. A large stockpile of missiles were to be carried as well, which appeared to be capable of projecting shields to either protect themselves or a larger objective from attack.
"It was the product of hundreds of thousands of hours of labor and research," the hivemind said. "It is designed to be crewed by humans that are augmented with my power."
"Wouldn't the actual thrust alone kill them?"
"Yes, if they were not augmented with psychic power."
"What do you call it?"
"I will call it the ADF Fire Bringer," the hivemind replied with a grin.
"Will it be the only one?"
"No. And they will be modular, easy to repair and upgrade with future technology."
"I call the model of ships that this will belong to the Judgement class. For they have a single purpose. It is to allow us to finally fight the Sprilnav."
She had noticed a particularly large group of psychic amplifiers near the core section, where the bridge of the ship would be.
"Yes. The Fire Bringer... is the first ship that I will pilot."
submitted by Storms_Wrath to HFY [link] [comments]

2023.06.09 20:30 khoafraelich789 Peugeot Refreshes The 508 For 2024 With A New Face And Engine Upgrades

Peugeot Refreshes The 508 For 2024 With A New Face And Engine Upgrades
Peugeot has just unveiled an upgraded version of its flagship vehicle, the 508 in both sedan and station wagon models with a new face and new engines which shall be explored now.

The revised D-segment compacts that will hit showrooms in June are easily distinguished from the models launched in 2018 by their narrower LED Matrix headlights (standard across the range) and three DRL claw marks below each light unit instead of the single fang seen on the current cars. The lower grille has champed shape and now turns down rather than up at the ends, giving the car less of a smiley face, but the biggest change is reserved for the grille, which flows into the bumper below it and features Peugeot’s latest badge.

Moving at the back, the full-LED taillights boast a fresh take on the same three-claw motif. Customers will be able to pick from three new colors (Okenite White, Titanium Grey, Eclipse Blue), three trim levels (Allure, GT, Peugeot Sport Engineered), and several alloy wheel designs in sizes from 17 to 20 inches. For the range-topping PSE, the French brand installs Michelin Pilot Sport 4S tires.

Inside, the 508 receives much of the technology seen elsewhere in the Peugeot line-up, with a redesigned dashboard and center console. It gains a 10-in central infotainment display partnered with Peugeot’s 12-in i-Cockpit system and a compact steering wheel. As well as voice recognition, sat-nav, a motorized boot, two USB sockets, and wireless Apple CarPlay and Android Auto, the 508 benefits from a night vision camera that can detect cyclists, animals, and pedestrians.

Power starts with an i3 1.2-liter turbocharged gasoline unit with 130 horsepower. For Africa, the Middle East, and Asia, Peugeot also equips the 508 with a bigger i4, 1.6-liter producing 218 hp. Alternatively, customers can go for the i4, 1.5-liter turbodiesel with 130 hp.

A pair of plug-in hybrid powertrains are offered in two-wheel-drive guise by combining a 150-hp or 180-hp gasoline engine with an 81-kilowatt electric motor for a combined output of 180-hp and 225-hp, respectively. Step up to the 508 PSE and you get a 200-hp gasoline engine an 81-kW motor linked to the automatic transmission and an 83-kW motor at the rear. Combined, these produce 360 hp delivered to both axles.

Source: autojosh
submitted by khoafraelich789 to CarInformationNews [link] [comments]

2023.06.09 18:57 Metadomino Finally finished all missions outside a few terraforming ones and wanted to share my thoughts and hear yours. *Some Spoilers*
Finally finished every mission in the game aside from a few terraforming ones and wanted to share my thoughts Some spoilers ahead:
Anyway, the game is fantastic. I had an incredible time playing. Thank you Egosoft.
submitted by Metadomino to X4Foundations [link] [comments]

2023.06.09 18:52 sometimesflyplanes Do Kenya Airways Make Money?

Who says airlines don’t make money?
Singapore Airlines recently declared fantastic results and gave its staff a 8 month bonus salary. Singapore Airlines Ltd. reported a record annual profit of S$2.16 billion for the year ended March 31. This translates to a dizzy $1.62 billion in USD.
Kenya Airways on the other hand declared heart wrenching losses of Kes 38 billion and some insiders tell us airlines don’t make money. the A dichotomy of polar contrast.
In fact there’s a generation of Kenyans who have grown in the notion that airlines don’t make money. If you peer into KQs financial books between 2005 to 2010, you will learn it was once upon a time a different story.
Meanwhile the Kenyan government subsidized KQ to the tune of Kes 36 billion++ last financial and budgeted subsidies for coming financial year is Kes 20 billion but this has been trimmed to Kes 10 billion. The mandarins controlling the government coffers have sent KQ a dire notice that it will stop its subsidies.
Ethiopian airlines on the other hand declared heart warming mega profits.
Under the airline's 15-year Vision 2035 plan, Ethiopian Airlines wants to operate 200 aircraft by 2035 while generating annual revenues exceeding USD 25 billion.
According to the ch-aviation fleets advanced module, the airline currently operates 126 aircraft.
In the 12 months to June 30, 2022, Ethiopian Airlines recorded a net profit of USD 937 million on revenues of USD5 billion and announced its largest fleet expansion from its current 140 aircraft to 270 aircraft by 2035.
The question is what are these airlines doing that we aren’t?
I will discuss how Singapore airlines is profiting & soaring the skies and what Kenya Airways could learn from it.
Singapore Airlines has a well-established profit-sharing bonus formula agreed upon with its staff unions. This formula determined the bonus payout based on the company's profitability, ensuring that employees directly benefited from the airline's success.
Singapore Airlines acknowledges the hard work and sacrifices made by its employees during the pandemic by providing an ex-gratia bonus.
This recognition of their dedication and resilience motivates employees and fosters a sense of loyalty and commitment.
The airline reported healthy forward sales, particularly in bookings to high-demand destinations like China, Japan, and South Korea.
By effectively managing sales and revenue, Singapore Airlines ensures a steady stream of income, which played a significant role in achieving record profits.
Singapore Airlines strategically increased its passenger capacity over time, after Covid. This allowed the airline to cater to growing customer demand and maximize revenue generation.
The airline placed emphasis on key markets such as China, Japan, and South Korea, which exhibited strong passenger demand. By tailoring its services to cater to these markets, Singapore Airlines captured market share and generated substantial revenue.
Taking inspiration from Singapore Airlines' success, Kenya Airways could implement several strategies to achieve similar results:
Kenya Airways could focus on optimizing its route network by identifying high-demand routes and expanding its presence in key markets.
By focusing on these routes and adjusting frequencies, schedules, and capacity, the airline can maximize its revenue potential.
By aligning its services with customer preferences and enhancing connectivity, the airline can attract more passengers and increase revenue.
Identifying and exploring new markets that are underserved or have potential for growth can be a key strategy for Kenya Airways.
Conducting market research and assessing the demand for air travel in emerging destinations can help the airline expand its network and capture new customer segments.
Strategically selecting hub cities and establishing strong connections within those hubs can improve Kenya Airways' network efficiency.
By concentrating resources and flights on key hubs, the airline can optimize transfer opportunities for passengers and improve overall connectivity.
Exploring partnerships with other airlines, especially those with strong networks in desirable destinations, can help Kenya Airways expand its reach and attract more passengers.
Code-sharing agreements and alliances can provide access to a broader customer base and boost revenue potential.
Implementing rigorous cost management strategies is crucial for improving profitability. Kenya Airways should assess and optimize its operational expenses, explore fuel efficiency measures, and streamline its processes to reduce costs and increase overall efficiency.
By focusing on improving the overall customer experience, Kenya Airways can attract and retain more passengers. Investing in customer service, onboard amenities, and technology-driven solutions can help differentiate the airline and increase customer satisfaction, leading to higher demand and increased revenue.
Recognizing and rewarding employee efforts and dedication is vital for enhancing morale and productivity.
Kenya Airways could develop a performance-based bonus system or profit-sharing formula to align employee interests with company success, motivating staff to contribute to the airline's profitability.
KQ can identify areas of operational inefficiency and implement strategies to streamline processes. This may include optimizing ground handling procedures, reducing turnaround times, improving maintenance planning, and enhancing crew scheduling and rostering to maximize productivity and minimize costs.
KQ can renegotiate favorable contracts with suppliers and vendors to obtain better pricing for goods and services. By actively seeking competitive bids, exploring alternative suppliers, and consolidating procurement processes, the airline can reduce costs associated with fuel, aircraft maintenance, catering, and other operational expenses.
Many of its customers complain that KQ pricing is way higher than it’s competitors. Fare distribution has moved from the legacy central reservation system to the web and KQ needs to ensure that its fare match the rest in the web. Generation Z don’t go to travel agencies. They buy from the web.
By implementing these strategies, Kenya Airways can enhance its financial performance, attract more passengers, and achieve record profits similar to Singapore Airlines.
It is crucial for the airline to carefully analyze its market, optimize operations, and prioritize customer satisfaction and employee engagement to drive success.
Every organization is about people and KQs current board, & Kenya Airport Authority is run by non aviators.
Perhaps it’s time to give aviators a chance to run the aviaton sector. They just might do things differently and give it a new breath of life.
submitted by sometimesflyplanes to Kenya [link] [comments]

2023.06.09 18:32 Ramunesoda99 Pilots who got to airlines at 30+, what did you work as before and how long did it take you to save money / train?

Im in europe so my experience will be a lot different with modular route. But interested to know what backgrounds pilots who had prior careers come from. My plan is to be a lawyer for 6 years and save my money for training to hopefully make an LCC by 30/31
submitted by Ramunesoda99 to flying [link] [comments]

2023.06.09 17:34 Katsium Ever been interested in a new administration organisation for CRP? The IAF is the solution!

The IAF is a new, no-nonsense aviation administration entity that marks the start of Third-Generation Aviation CRP. The IAF hopes to make both airlines' and pilots' lives easier by providing centralised, detailed and comprehensive policies for all parties, and helps to standardise a level of quality across the community. It's our answer to mainstream airline administration.

If you want to join an aviation group that makes the difference and marks the start of a new era, join us. Choose IAF.
submitted by Katsium to AirlineRP [link] [comments]

2023.06.09 17:28 elp22203 Scored big at the Delta sale at ATL today. AMA

Scored big at the Delta sale at ATL today. AMA
Delta holds a sale the 2nd Friday of each month and you never know what you will find! $3 t-shirts and ball caps, memorabilia from defunct airlines, pilot and flight attendant uniforms, even parts of airplane interiors.
It's at the Delta Flight Museum but it's WAY better (and cheaper) merchandise than the museum gift shop. 1220 Woolman, Hapeville, GA (for GPS), 9a-2p, gates open at 7:15/7:30a, first 26 people get a numbered card so they can be first in. Today they let in 10 at a time. I got lucky #7! Follow Delta Flight Museum on Insta and FB, they post some pics of what will be sold each month, but honestly it was way better than what they pictured.
My favorite is my new $3 trench coat! The sale is staffed by current/former Delta employees and volunteers. A current FA rang up my purchase and when she saw the $5 sweater, she rolled her eyes and said, oh, we hated that uniform! A former FAA employee helped me carry my bags to my car. Really cool experience.
submitted by elp22203 to delta [link] [comments]

2023.06.09 16:56 ATforLife Ordering Hot Coffee on a Plane is Rude and Dangerous

Unless you're in first class, sitting alone, hot coffee on a plane is dangerous as hell. A small bump in turbulence is going to send scalding coffee into the face or lap of the people next to you. Literally order anything else. And if you're having trouble staying awake, congratulations unless you're the pilot, sleep or get caffeinated soda
The responses here have taught me:
  1. Y'all don't understand some airlines give you open cups with no lid and that some people put their cups on their trays
  2. You haven't experienced a sudden big bump of turbulence
submitted by ATforLife to unpopularopinion [link] [comments]

2023.06.09 15:00 ImposssiblePrincesss Meanwhile, in Australia

Meanwhile, in Australia
QANTAS, Australia’s national airline, has ended gender based uniform restrictions, which will make life much easier for non-binary pilots and cabin crew, as well as for employees during gender transition.
Importantly, it sends a message to Australia’s business world that it’s OK to be gender diverse in professional settings.
submitted by ImposssiblePrincesss to transgender [link] [comments]

2023.06.09 13:10 Flyingschoolau Aviation Schools In Australia

Aviation Schools In Australia submitted by Flyingschoolau to u/Flyingschoolau [link] [comments]

2023.06.09 08:37 rachelrileyiswank I have some doubts about flight safety after reading up on MH370 tragedy.

Hello. I'm very late to this but I've been wanting to ask some basic questions about flight safety.
  1. Why can't airlines have a video feed in the cockpit which can by relayed to the airlines to be monitored? Like a wall of CCTVs we see manned by guards for sensitive buildings on the ground.
  2. The black box pings which die after 30 days, can't they have better batteries to last longer? Or at least have some way to give out more accurate/stronger signals. And also have multiple of them. Not the black box itself some small equipment to relay/store location/altitude data in the landing gear or some other part too. And why doesn't the bloody thing float. :/
  3. Flight plans/paths are preprogrammed into the plane right? If the plane deviates from it can't the ground be automatically alerted of this regardless of the transponder status? Or if it's flying too low? Or if the auto-pilot is used for too long or at points it shouldn't be used? Because MH370 did deviate a lot and the flaperon found was in a position which indicated that it just glided/flew and was not ditched. So it flew on auto pilot for so long.
  4. Would the flight attendants/pilots not have their mobile phones with them?
  5. Why isn't there a way the flight attendants can call the ground or flip a switch to indicate trouble to ground and close-by planes?
  6. Can't there be a system for flight mechanics and cabin pressure to be monitored on ground? Like set a range and if the flight parameters go out of that range there'll be some warning on the ground. Especially cabin pressure and low fuel.
  7. Is the co-pilot sabotage ruled out? Because I read theories only on the main pilot.
  8. Many people on this sub subscribe to the main pilot murdesuicide theory. For this plan to succeed wouldn't the co-pilot need to be in on it? Or at least out of the cockpit? In that case can't they contact the ground because the place flew for a long time. The co-pilot goes out. The main pilot locks himself in and mucks up the cabin pressure. In the few minutes before everyone passes out would they have a way to contact anyone on ground through their mobile phones? This point has to be at first little right turn and the eventual hard left.
  9. Considering that out of 239 total, 153 were Chinese, why wasn't there more noise/hullabaloo from them? Or am I misreading this.
  10. Have you seen the National Geographic documentary 'Drain the Ocean'(I've seen it.)? Is it more legitimate because you guys trashed the more recent Netflix one(I've refrained from watching it.)? But it’s from 2018!
Thank you.
submitted by rachelrileyiswank to aircrashinvestigation [link] [comments]

2023.06.09 05:28 storiesof-adreamer 25 [F4M] #Nashville/USA - Looking for my special subby boyfriend for a GFD long term relationship!

(If this post is still up, I'm still looking!)
Hey there. I really want to develop a female led/slight gentle femdom relationship with a special guy.
When a lot of men see the term "female led relationship," they think, "Oh, the woman will make all the decisions with no input on what I think/want."
Are there dynamics like that? I'm sure there is. Personally, I'm not looking to be "the boss" or "above" you in any way. I want us to be equal... but have you give up control to me in a few other ways. :)
What do I mean? Keep reading on!
You can call me Dreamer for now. (I'll tell you my real name once we get to know each other) Please do NOT call me Miss, Master, Dominatrix or Ma'am.
I'm 25 years old and an INFJ-T. I live in Nashville, Tennessee, USA (AKA Music City) and I'm on Central Standard Time. I'm a Black woman and I stand 5 feet, 7 inches tall. My eyes are brown and I wear glasses. I don't have any tattoos or piercings at the moment.
One thing I want to mention is that I'm plus size, AKA a bigger girl. I'm undergoing a vertical sleeve gastrectomy in two months to lose the excess weight I have in a sustainable and permanent way. I'm ready to regain my body and be healthy and confident again. I'd love to have you by my side throughout my journey!
As far as personality goes, I'd describe myself as empathetic and sweet. I like to help others as much as I can. In person, I tend to be rather shy at first. People tend to mistake that for weakness or gullibility. I'm anything but; my strength lies in introspection and quiet observation. I notice every nuance of a person's actions, words, body language, vibe... my intuition hasn't steered me wrong yet!
I won't go into detail on every single interest that I have but I'll talk about my biggest ones that you'll likely hear me mention the most.
I've been writing since I was six years old, but I started taking it seriously around 13 years old. All in all, it's been 19 years. As of right now, I primarily write Fanfiction but in the past, I've written short stories, poetry and I even tried to learn how to write screenplays at one point.
I wrote my first full-length book in 2018/2019. I started the sequel in early 2020, but I'm still working on it. I lost a LOT of inspiration during the pandemic but I'm finally writing for it again.
If you also enjoy writing, I'd love to "talk shop" with you and maybe we can exchange some of our past works.
Music has gotten me through a lot over the years. Yeah, yeah, I know everyone says that. But it truly has. It's shaped my life and introduced me to a lot of things and people that I probably never would've done or met otherwise.
There's no point in saying I like xyz genre because I've listened to pretty much everything. The only ones I truly hate are country and gangster rap. If you want specifics, though... I've been a HUGE twenty one pilots fan for 9 years. (I have more merch, stickers and other random shit than I care to admit to lmao) I also love other artists like Amber Run, Purity Ring, Phantogram, Daughter, Lorde, OneRepublic... plus tons more.
I've always had this dumb idea of a guy and I confessing to each other through playlists with songs that make us think fondly about each other...
God, I'm single.
I've been into photography for 10 years and I've had my DSLR for eight years. (It's definitely the camera version of 'Ol Reliable) I enjoy nature and portrait photography. I'd love to show you some of my work and get your thoughts on it.
TV genres I like: Animation (like Spongebob), comedy, drama, documentaries (disaster and crime ones are my favorites), true crime (like Forensic Files), old sitcoms (like Sanford and Son) and cooking and baking competitions/reality TV (like Kitchen Nightmares US and UK, Hell's Kitchen, Master Chef, The Great British Baking Show, etc)
Movie genres I like: Animation, drama, comedy, action, psychological thrillers and science fiction. I thoroughly loved The Greatest Showman so one could say I like musicals but it's the only one I've seen so not sure if that really counts. Comic book movies are pretty alright too, but I really haven't seen anything past the first Avengers movie lmaooooo.
I say this as unpretentiously as possible, but I haven't seen most popular TV shows or movies that your average person likes. I think the last "popular" thing I watched was that Jeffrey Dahmer series on Netflix. (mainly out of morbid curiosity because everyone was freaking out about it... and because I think Evan Peters is a cutie) I only saw a few episodes and then forgot to watch the rest of it, but it wasn't as horrific as everyone was saying. Maybe I've watched too much Forensic Files and I'm desensitized lmao.
✨️Video and computer games✨️
Video game genres I like: Adventure, action-adventure, RPGs & JRPGs, Strategy... basically anything that is relatively fun and not horror related.
Some of my all-time favorites: Kingdom Hearts II, Ratchet and Clank, Journey, Final Fantasy VII and Final Fantasy X.
As far as computer games, the only thing I play on a regular basis is The Sims 2 and The Sims 4. As a kid, I loved simulator and time-management games; some old favorites are the RCT series, Simcity: Rush Hour, the first four Diner Dash games, the Delicious series and Burger Shop 2 (which I still have on my computer actually lmao)
✨️Other random interests✨️
Art, traveling, people watching, researching random topics on Wikipedia and watching YouTube, especially channels with old shows and movies.
My last position was working nights at a psychiatric hospital. I'm looking for something new at the moment.
I'm officially a college student at 25. Yay! Feel free to ask me more about it, I'd love to talk.
I really love dogs and cats. I have three cats and they're little demons but I love them to death. I also love small animals like ferrets, bunnies and snakes!
My main love languages are words of affirmation, quality time and gift giving/receiving. To be honest, though, there's elements of each language that I enjoy or relate to in one way or another.
I don't smoke and I drink every so often. Otherwise, I'm vaccinated and DDF.
I'm looking for a guy between the ages of 23-33 years old. I might be willing to talk to someone within two years in either direction (so 21 min and 35 max) if you meet all my other preferences/wants. If you're younger than 21 or older than 35, though, please don't contact me.
Please be single and emotionally available. I won't interact with anyone already in a relationship or married (even if you're separated or in a "dead bedroom," you're STILL married) and I'm especially not interested in poly/ENM. I'm 100% monogamous.
Hair is super important to me! I prefer medium length to long hair, something I can stroke and play with a lot lmao.
I have a REALLY big soft spot for blue and/or doe eyes, but don't let that deter you. If you have kind eyes, I'll fall in love with them, no matter their color!
I tend to like softer facial features and even softer personalities. Are you super masculine in public but a total softie in private? Lovely! Are you less masculine but a little more feminine? Great! Are you androgynous or otherwise fall somewhere in between? I can dig it!
Key traits that I like in a guy include, but are not limited to: Being sweet, gentle, empathetic, considerate, an active listener, exceptional at communication and willing to go the extra mile for those that you love, be it family, friends, your partner, etc.
With that being said, it's important that you have time for me. I'm not expecting us to talk 24/7 but if you're always too busy to talk to me, this won't work. At some point, I'd like for us to also talk on the phone as our schedules permit, of course.
As I mentioned in the beginning of this post, please be from the USA/North America and willing to meet and get to know each other in person ASAP.
It's important to me that you're an active listener; what I mean is that you'll make an effort to listen to what I have to say and respond to it accordingly. If I tell you my thoughts on a matter or ask you a question or give you a compliment etc etc, please respond to it. It makes me feel so sad and small if I feel like my thoughts or opinions are not important/relevant.
I can tell pretty quickly if someone is genuinely interested in me or not. Like I said before, I notice everything lol.
I mentioned earlier how one of my love languages is words of affirmation. One of the ways I enjoy that is through compliments. I'm not looking for you to worship the ground I walk on, but being told "You look beautiful" or "When you do xyz, that makes me really happy" makes me feel SO seen and appreciated.
It's incredibly frustrating to send a picture of myself and get a lukewarm response in return. :(
Affection is also super important to me. Holding hands, hugging, kissing, cuddling, touching... all the cute couple shit. I want you to touch me, not in a pervy way, but in an affectionate way. I want to stroke your hair while I hold you close... little things like that make me incredibly happy.
Keep in mind, everything I want from you, I'll give to you in return. I'll always listen and acknowledge you, give you compliments, shower you in affection, plus whatever else makes you feel wanted and appreciated as a person and in a relationship.
I always want you to have a choice and be able to voice your opinion. I will never degrade or boss you around in general, but especially when it comes to your personal choices. I'm a switch that used to be a predominant sub and believe me, I've had doms tell me before, "I make the decision on what you wear, what to eat, who you hang out with, etc etc... because I'm your dom and what I say goes."
Some people may like that. More power to them. But I'm not like that. I want you to feel free to express yourself. If you want my opinion, I'll give it to you, of course. But my job is to build you up and support your decisions, no matter how small!
Again, I'm not looking for you to kiss my ass. I'd love for you to take the lead on most decisions (with my input, of course). But I want you to also have a "service" attitude; whether that's helping out with household chores or surprising me with a massage after work or giving me flowers "just because" or helping me paint my toenails lol... just to name some examples. The sky's the limit.
That extends to "the bedroom" as well. I want my pleasure to be just as important to you as yours is to me.
In short? I just want to feel doted on and taken care of. I want to be the most important person in your life and you be the most important person in my life. I want to make you feel special and praise you and tell you how much you mean to me. And I want the same in return. 💓
● "KINKS" ●
This is inevitably gonna come up at some point. I'll say when it comes to my "kinks" (if you want to call them that) I like:
Teasing, edging, telling you when you can cum and begging me for it (I believe it's called orgasm control/denial), moaning, praise, blindfolds, eye contact, body worshiping (you and me), breast worship, oral, fingering and using toys on you.
Been a little curious about pegging someone one day. We'd have to build up to it, of course, because I don't want to hurt you. If you're not into that, though, don't worry! It's definitely not a requirement.
Things I do NOT like (or hard limits) are:
Humiliation, degradation, anything that causes you or me physical, emotional and mental harm, blood, pee, scat, vomit, diapers, CNC, ageplay, raceplay, hitting, slapping, choking or anything else illegal, unethical or otherwise unloving.
If you read all of this, good job! Here's a cookie, hope you like chocolate chip. 🍪
Seriously, though, I can't name every little thing I want. Despite the length of this post, I'm not trying to play Build-A-Boy. I realize you have your own caveats and that's totally fine. Let's get to know each other and see what happens. All I ask for, again, is that you want a serious, longterm relationship and not view me as just some sort of "kink dispenser."
Chats or DMs are fine. When you send me a message, please include the following...
• Name or alias • Location • Age • Height, body type, hair cololength, eye color • Your interests/hobbies • Whether you're a sub or a switch • What you're looking for out of a relationship and something (or things) you really enjoyed about my post • A clear, SFW picture of yourself • Your current favorite song (so I know you actually read through all of this) • Whatever else you want to add to catch my attention. The more you can match my "detailed energy," the better.
I won't reply to those who ignore my preferences or the message requirements above. If you send me nudes/dick pics/sexting or FWB requests/rude messages, you will be blocked and reported.
Thank you so much for reading this, and I hope you have a good night!
(P.S. I don't use Snap, Kik, Telegram, WhatsApp and whatever else. I use Discord and I only give my cell number out to people that I'm comfy with.)
submitted by storiesof-adreamer to r4r [link] [comments]

2023.06.09 01:48 NeoliberalShiIl Seat Swapping Heroics

Today, on my daily flight from my CEO office in New York back to my wife (30F, hot) and house (huge, btw) in Los Angeles, I purchased a ticket for myself (30M) in Delta OneTM because Main Cabin is too cramped for my MASSIVE balls.
Anyway, as I boarded to receive my delicious Pre-Departure Peach BelliniTM, I was shocked to see a smelly, amorphous blob of a man in my seat. He was wearing a tattered, sweat-stained shirt with a giant swastika and the text "I HUNT BABY WHALES FOR SPORT, AND I ALSO ENJOY FLYING ON UNITED AIRLINES".
I was taken aback, but politely told him to please move back to 99B where he was actually seated. He replied, "heh, make me, NERD". To which I replied, "Sir, don't make me call the Diamond 360 Elite Phone LineTM. Also, Nazis and United Airlines are bad actually."
The other passengers and FAs were silent for a moment, before breaking into a standing ovation for my heroics as this filthy no-good seat thief sulked back to steerage where he belonged.
Luckily, I always bring my trusty 3 ounce disinfectant spray bottle to clean the seat this man had defiled. After we had landed, Ed Bastian personally met me at the gate to shake my hand and offer to let me fuck the pilot's wife.
Edit since some of you doubt my story: I also left my window shade up and boofed several espresso martinis.
submitted by NeoliberalShiIl to delta [link] [comments]

2023.06.09 00:51 sandwich_with_a_hat i am sorry

NARRATOR: (Black screen with text; The sound of buzzing bees can be heard) According to all known laws of aviation, : there is no way a bee should be able to fly. : Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. : The bee, of course, flies anyway : because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. BARRY BENSON: (Barry is picking out a shirt) Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. : Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. JANET BENSON: Barry! Breakfast is ready! BARRY: Coming! : Hang on a second. (Barry uses his antenna like a phone) : Hello? ADAM FLAYMAN:
(Through phone) - Barry? BARRY: - Adam? ADAM: - Can you believe this is happening? BARRY: - I can't. I'll pick you up. (Barry flies down the stairs) : MARTIN BENSON: Looking sharp. JANET: Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. BARRY: Sorry. I'm excited. MARTIN: Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. : A perfect report card, all B's. JANET: Very proud. (Rubs Barry's hair) BARRY= Ma! I got a thing going here. JANET: - You got lint on your fuzz. BARRY: - Ow! That's me!
JANET: - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! (Barry flies out the door) JANET: Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! (Barry drives through the hive,and is waved at by Adam who is reading a newspaper) BARRY== - Hey, Adam. ADAM: - Hey, Barry. (Adam gets in Barry's car) : - Is that fuzz gel? BARRY: - A little. Special day, graduation. ADAM: Never thought I'd make it. (Barry pulls away from the house and continues driving) BARRY: Three days grade school, three days high school... ADAM: Those were awkward. BARRY: Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. ADAM== You did come back different. (Barry and Adam pass by Artie, who is jogging) ARTIE: - Hi, Barry!
BARRY: - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. ADAM: - Hear about Frankie? BARRY: - Yeah. ADAM== - You going to the funeral? BARRY: - No, I'm not going to his funeral. : Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. : Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. ADAM: I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. (The car does a barrel roll on the loop-shaped bridge and lands on the highway) : I love this incorporating an amusement park into our regular day. BARRY: I guess that's why they say we don't need vacations. (Barry parallel parks the car and together they fly over the graduating students) Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. (Barry and Adam sit down and put on their hats) : - Well, Adam, today we are men.
ADAM: - We are! BARRY= - Bee-men. =ADAM= - Amen! BARRY AND ADAM: Hallelujah! (Barry and Adam both have a happy spasm) ANNOUNCER: Students, faculty, distinguished bees, : please welcome Dean Buzzwell. DEAN BUZZWELL: Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of... : ...9: : That concludes our ceremonies. : And begins your career at Honex Industries! ADAM: Will we pick our job today? (Adam and Barry get into a tour bus) BARRY= I heard it's just orientation. (Tour buses rise out of the ground and the students are automatically loaded into the buses) TOUR GUIDE: Heads up! Here we go.
ANNOUNCER: Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. BARRY: - Wonder what it'll be like? ADAM: - A little scary. TOUR GUIDE== Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco : and a part of the Hexagon Group. Barry: This is it! BARRY AND ADAM: Wow. BARRY: Wow. (The bus drives down a road an on either side are the Bee's massive complicated Honey-making machines) TOUR GUIDE: We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life : to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. : Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. : Our top-secret formula : is automatically color-corrected,
scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured : into this soothing sweet syrup : with its distinctive golden glow you know as... EVERYONE ON BUS: Honey! (The guide has been collecting honey into a bottle and she throws it into the crowd on the bus and it is caught by a girl in the back) ADAM: - That girl was hot. BARRY: - She's my cousin! ADAM== - She is? BARRY: - Yes, we're all cousins. ADAM: - Right. You're right. TOUR GUIDE: - At Honex, we constantly strive : to improve every aspect of bee existence. : These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. (The bus passes by a Bee wearing a helmet who is being smashed into the ground with fly-swatters, newspapers and boots. He lifts a thumbs up but you can hear him groan) : ADAM==
What's the difference? TOUR GUIDE: You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off : in 27 million years. BARRY: (Upset) So you'll just work us to death? : We'll sure try. (Everyone on the bus laughs except Barry. Barry and Adam are walking back home together) ADAM: Wow! That blew my mind! BARRY: "What's the difference?" How can you say that? : One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. ADAM: I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. BARRY: But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? ADAM: Why would you question anything? We're bees. : We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth.
BARRY: You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? ADAM: Like what? Give me one example. (Barry and Adam stop walking and it is revealed to the audience that hundreds of cars are speeding by and narrowly missing them in perfect unison) BARRY: I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. ANNOUNCER: Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. BARRY: Wait a second. Check it out. (The Pollen jocks fly in, circle around and landing in line) : - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! ADAM: - Wow. : I've never seen them this close. BARRY: They know what it's like outside the hive. ADAM: Yeah, but some don't come back. GIRL BEES: - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! (The Pollen Jocks hook up their backpacks to machines that pump the nectar to trucks, which drive away)
LOU LO DUVA: You guys did great! : You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! (Punching the Pollen Jocks in joy) I love it! ADAM: - I wonder where they were. BARRY: - I don't know. : Their day's not planned. : Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. : You can't just decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. ADAM== Right. (Barry and Adam are covered in some pollen that floated off of the Pollen Jocks) BARRY: Look at that. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. ADAM: It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. BARRY: Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. (Barry waves at 2 girls standing a little away from them)
ADAM== Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? BARRY: Distant. Distant. POLLEN JOCK #1: Look at these two. POLLEN JOCK #2: - Couple of Hive Harrys. POLLEN JOCK #1: - Let's have fun with them. GIRL BEE #1: It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. BARRY: Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! : He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! (Slaps Adam with his hand to represent his scenario) GIRL BEE #2: - Oh, my! BARRY: - I never thought I'd knock him out. GIRL BEE #1: (Looking at Adam) What were you doing during this? ADAM: Obviously I was trying to alert the authorities. BARRY: I can autograph that.
(The pollen jocks walk up to Barry and Adam, they pretend that Barry and Adam really are pollen jocks.) POLLEN JOCK #1: A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? BARRY: Yeah. Gusty. POLLEN JOCK #1: We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. BARRY: - Six miles, huh? ADAM: - Barry! POLLEN JOCK #2: A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. BARRY: - Maybe I am. ADAM: - You are not! POLLEN JOCK #1: We're going 0900 at J-Gate. : What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? BARRY: I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. (The scene cuts to Barry looking out on the hive-city from his balcony at night) MARTIN:
Hey, Honex! BARRY: Dad, you surprised me. MARTIN: You decide what you're interested in? BARRY: - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. : Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? MARTIN: Son, let me tell you about stirring. : You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. : You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. BARRY: You know, Dad, the more I think about it, : maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. MARTIN: You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? : That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. :
Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! JANET: - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. BARRY: - I'm not trying to be funny. MARTIN: You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! JANET: - You're gonna be a stirrer? BARRY: - No one's listening to me! MARTIN: Wait till you see the sticks I have. BARRY: I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! (Barry's parents don't listen to him and continue to ramble on) MARTIN: Let's open some honey and celebrate! BARRY: Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. : Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! JANET: I'm so proud. (The scene cuts to Barry and Adam waiting in line to get a job) ADAM: - We're starting work today!
BARRY: - Today's the day. ADAM: Come on! All the good jobs will be gone. BARRY: Yeah, right. JOB LISTER: Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... BEE IN FRONT OF LINE: - Is it still available? JOB LISTER: - Hang on. Two left! : One of them's yours! Congratulations! Step to the side. ADAM: - What'd you get? BEE IN FRONT OF LINE: - Picking crud out. Stellar! (He walks away) ADAM: Wow! JOB LISTER: Couple of newbies? ADAM: Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! JOB LISTER: Make your choice. (Adam and Barry look up at the job board. There are hundreds of constantly changing panels that contain available or unavailable jobs. It looks very confusing)
ADAM: - You want to go first? BARRY: - No, you go. ADAM: Oh, my. What's available? JOB LISTER: Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. ADAM: - Any chance of getting the Krelman? JOB LISTER: - Sure, you're on. (Puts the Krelman finger-hat on Adam's head) (Suddenly the sign for Krelman closes out) : I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. (Takes Adam's hat off) Wax monkey's always open. ADAM: The Krelman opened up again. : What happened? JOB LISTER: A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. : Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. : Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life!
ADAM: Oh, this is so hard! (Barry remembers what the Pollen Jock offered him and he flies off) Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, : humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, : mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry? (Adam turns around and sees Barry flying away) : Barry! POLLEN JOCK: All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine... ADAM: (Through phone) What happened to you? Where are you? BARRY: - I'm going out. ADAM: - Out? Out where? BARRY: - Out there. ADAM: - Oh, no! BARRY: I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. ADAM:
You're gonna die! You're crazy! (Barry hangs up) Hello? POLLEN JOCK #2: Another call coming in. : If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd : that gets their roses today. BARRY: Hey, guys. POLLEN JOCK #1 == - Look at that. POLLEN JOCK #2: - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? LOU LO DUVA: Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. POLLEN JOCK #1: It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. (Puts hand on Barry's shoulder) LOU LO DUVA: (To Barry) Really? Feeling lucky, are you? BEE WITH CLIPBOARD: (To Barry) Sign here, here. Just initial that. : - Thank you. LOU LO DUVA: - OK. : You got a rain advisory today, :
and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain. : So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, : hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats. : Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us. : Murphy's in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada! BARRY: - That's awful. LOU LO DUVA: (Still talking through megaphone) - And a reminder for you rookies, : bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans! : All right, launch positions! POLLEN JOCKS: (The Pollen Jocks run into formation) : Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! LOU LU DUVA: Black and yellow! POLLEN JOCKS:
Hello! POLLEN JOCK #1: (To Barry)You ready for this, hot shot? BARRY: Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. POLLEN JOCK's: Wind, check. : - Antennae, check. - Nectar pack, check. : - Wings, check. - Stinger, check. BARRY: Scared out of my shorts, check. LOU LO DUVA: OK, ladies, : let's move it out! : Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers! : All of you, drain those flowers! (The pollen jocks fly out of the hive) BARRY: Wow! I'm out! : I can't believe I'm out! : So blue.
: I feel so fast and free! : Box kite! (Barry flies through the kite) : Wow! : Flowers! (A pollen jock puts on some high tech goggles that shows flowers similar to heat sink goggles.) POLLEN JOCK: This is Blue Leader. We have roses visual. : Bring it around 30 degrees and hold. : Roses! POLLEN JOCK #1: 30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around. : Stand to the side, kid. It's got a bit of a kick. (The pollen jock fires a high-tech gun at the flower, shooting tubes that suck up the nectar from the flower and collects it into a pouch on the gun) BARRY: That is one nectar collector! POLLEN JOCK #1== - Ever see pollination up close? BARRY: - No, sir. POLLEN JOCK #1:
(Barry and the Pollen jock fly over the field, the pollen jock sprinkles pollen as he goes) : I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there, : a pinch on that one. See that? It's a little bit of magic. BARRY: That's amazing. Why do we do that? POLLEN JOCK #1: That's pollen power. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us. BARRY: Cool. POLLEN JOCK #1: I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow. could be daisies. Don't we need those? POLLEN JOCK #2: Copy that visual. : Wait. One of these flowers seems to be on the move. POLLEN JOCK #1: Say again? You're reporting a moving flower? POLLEN JOCK #2: Affirmative. (The Pollen jocks land near the "flowers" which, to the audience are obviously just tennis balls) KEN: (In the distance) That was on the line!
POLLEN JOCK #1: This is the coolest. What is it? POLLEN JOCK #2: I don't know, but I'm loving this color. : It smells good. Not like a flower, but I like it. POLLEN JOCK #1: Yeah, fuzzy. (Sticks his hand on the ball but it gets stuck) POLLEN JOCK #3== Chemical-y. (The pollen jock finally gets his hand free from the tennis ball) POLLEN JOCK #1: Careful, guys. It's a little grabby. (The pollen jocks turn around and see Barry lying his entire body on top of one of the tennis balls) POLLEN JOCK #2: My sweet lord of bees! POLLEN JOCK #3: Candy-brain, get off there! POLLEN JOCK #1: (Pointing upwards) Problem! (A human hand reaches down and grabs the tennis ball that Barry is stuck to) BARRY: - Guys! POLLEN JOCK #2: - This could be bad. POLLEN JOCK #3: Affirmative. (Vanessa Bloome starts bouncing the tennis ball, not knowing Barry is stick to it)
BARRY== Very close. : Gonna hurt. : Mama's little boy. (Barry is being hit back and forth by two humans playing tennis. He is still stuck to the ball) POLLEN JOCK #1: You are way out of position, rookie! KEN: Coming in at you like a MISSILE! (Barry flies past the pollen jocks, still stuck to the ball) BARRY: (In slow motion) Help me! POLLEN JOCK #2: I don't think these are flowers. POLLEN JOCK #3: - Should we tell him? POLLEN JOCK #1: - I think he knows. BARRY: What is this?! KEN: Match point! : You can start packing up, honey, because you're about to EAT IT! (A pollen jock coughs which confused Ken and he hits the ball the wrong way with Barry stuck to it and it goes flying into the city) BARRY:
Yowser! (Barry bounces around town and gets stuck in the engine of a car. He flies into the air conditioner and sees a bug that was frozen in there) BARRY: Ew, gross. (The man driving the car turns on the air conditioner which blows Barry into the car) GIRL IN CAR: There's a bee in the car! : - Do something! DAD DRIVING CAR: - I'm driving! BABY GIRL: (Waving at Barry) - Hi, bee. (Barry smiles and waves at the baby girl) GUY IN BACK OF CAR: - He's back here! : He's going to sting me! GIRL IN CAR: Nobody move. If you don't move, he won't sting you. Freeze! (Barry freezes as well, hovering in the middle of the car) : GRANDMA IN CAR== He blinked! (The grandma whips out some bee-spray and sprays everywhere in the car, climbing into the front seat, still trying to spray Barry) GIRL IN CAR: Spray him, Granny! DAD DRIVING THE CAR: What are you doing?! (Barry escapes the car through the air conditioner and is flying high above
the ground, safe.) BARRY: Wow... the tension level out here is unbelievable. (Barry sees that storm clouds are gathering and he can see rain clouds moving into this direction) : I gotta get home. : Can't fly in rain. : Can't fly in rain. (A rain drop hits Barry and one of his wings is damaged) : Can't fly in rain. (A second rain drop hits Barry again and he spirals downwards) Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down! (WW2 plane sound effects are played as he plummets, and he crash-lands on a plant inside an apartment near the window) VANESSA BLOOME: Ken, could you close the window please? KEN== Hey, check out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. : You see? (Folds brochure resume out) Folds out. (Ken closes the window, trapping Barry inside) BARRY: Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this. (Barry tries to fly away but smashes into the window and falls again) : What was that?
(Barry keeps trying to fly out the window but he keeps being knocked back because the window is closed) Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This... : Drapes! (Barry taps the glass. He doesn't understand what it is) That is diabolical. KEN: It's fantastic. It's got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies. ANDY: What's number one? Star Wars? KEN: Nah, I don't go for that... (Ken makes finger guns and makes "pew pew pew" sounds and then stops) : ...kind of stuff. BARRY: No wonder we shouldn't talk to them. They're out of their minds. KEN: When I leave a job interview, they're flabbergasted, can't believe what I say. BARRY: (Looking at the light on the ceiling) There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out. (Starts flying towards the lightbulb) : I don't remember the sun having a big 75 on it. (Barry hits the lightbulb and falls into the dip on the table that the humans are sitting at) KEN:
I predicted global warming. : I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me. (Andy dips a chip into the bowl and scoops up some dip with Barry on it and is about to put it in his mouth) : Wait! Stop! Bee! (Andy drops the chip with Barry in fear and backs away. All the humans freak out) : Stand back. These are winter boots. (Ken has winter boots on his hands and he is about to smash the bee but Vanessa saves him last second) VANESSA: Wait! : Don't kill him! (Vanessa puts Barry in a glass to protect him) KEN: You know I'm allergic to them! This thing could kill me! VANESSA: Why does his life have less value than yours? KEN: Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement? VANESSA: I'm just saying all life has value. You don't know what he's capable of feeling. (Vanessa picks up Ken's brochure and puts it under the glass so she can carry Barry back to the window. Barry looks at Vanessa in amazement) KEN:
My brochure! VANESSA: There you go, little guy. (Vanessa opens the window and lets Barry out but Barry stays back and is still shocked that a human saved his life) KEN: I'm not scared of him. It's an allergic thing. VANESSA: Put that on your resume brochure. KEN: My whole face could puff up. ANDY: Make it one of your special skills. KEN: Knocking someone out is also a special skill. (Ken walks to the door) Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks. : - Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night? VANESSA: - Sure, Ken. You know, whatever. : (Vanessa tries to close door) KEN== - You could put carob chips on there. VANESSA: - Bye. (Closes door but Ken opens it again) KEN: - Supposed to be less calories.
VANESSA: - Bye. (Closes door) (Fast forward to the next day, Barry is still inside the house. He flies into the kitchen where Vanessa is doing dishes) BARRY== (Talking to himself) I gotta say something. : She saved my life. I gotta say something. : All right, here it goes. (Turns back) Nah. : What would I say? : I could really get in trouble. : It's a bee law. You're not supposed to talk to a human. : I can't believe I'm doing this. : I've got to. (Barry disguises himself as a character on a food can as Vanessa walks by again) : Oh, I can't do it. Come on! : No. Yes. No. : Do it. I can't.
: How should I start it? (Barry strikes a pose and wiggles his eyebrows) "You like jazz?" No, that's no good. (Vanessa is about to walk past Barry) Here she comes! Speak, you fool! : ...Hi! (Vanessa gasps and drops the dishes in fright and notices Barry on the counter) : I'm sorry. VANESSA: - You're talking. BARRY: - Yes, I know. VANESSA: (Pointing at Barry) You're talking! BARRY: I'm so sorry. VANESSA: No, it's OK. It's fine. I know I'm dreaming. : But I don't recall going to bed. BARRY: Well, I'm sure this is very disconcerting. VANESSA: This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you're a bee!
BARRY: I am. And I'm not supposed to be doing this, (Pointing to the living room where Ken tried to kill him last night) but they were all trying to kill me. : And if it wasn't for you... : I had to thank you. It's just how I was raised. (Vanessa stabs her hand with a fork to test whether she's dreaming or not) : That was a little weird. VANESSA: - I'm talking with a bee. BARRY: - Yeah. VANESSA: I'm talking to a bee. And the bee is talking to me! BARRY: I just want to say I'm grateful. I'll leave now. (Barry turns to leave) VANESSA: - Wait! How did you learn to do that? BARRY: (Flying back) - What? VANESSA: The talking...thing. BARRY:
Same way you did, I guess. "Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up. VANESSA: - That's very funny. BARRY: - Yeah. : Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh, we'd cry with what we have to deal with. : Anyway... VANESSA: Can I... : ...get you something? BARRY: - Like what? VANESSA: I don't know. I mean... I don't know. Coffee? BARRY: I don't want to put you out. VANESSA: It's no trouble. It takes two minutes. : - It's just coffee. BARRY: - I hate to impose. (Vanessa starts making coffee) VANESSA: - Don't be ridiculous!
BARRY: - Actually, I would love a cup. VANESSA: Hey, you want rum cake? BARRY: - I shouldn't. VANESSA: - Have some. BARRY: - No, I can't. VANESSA: - Come on! BARRY: I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms. VANESSA: - Where? BARRY: - These stripes don't help. VANESSA: You look great! BARRY: I don't know if you know anything about fashion. : Are you all right? VANESSA: (Pouring coffee on the floor and missing the cup completely) No. (Flash forward in time. Barry and Vanessa are sitting together at a table on top of the apartment building drinking coffee)
: BARRY== He's making the tie in the cab as they're flying up Madison. : He finally gets there. : He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on. : And he says, "Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan. : Why would I marry a watermelon?" (Barry laughs but Vanessa looks confused) VANESSA: Is that a bee joke? BARRY: That's the kind of stuff we do. VANESSA: Yeah, different. : So, what are you gonna do, Barry? (Barry stands on top of a sugar cube floating in his coffee and paddles it around with a straw like it's a gondola) BARRY: About work? I don't know. : I want to do my part for the hive, but I can't do it the way they want. VANESSA: I know how you feel.
BARRY: - You do? VANESSA: - Sure. : My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist. BARRY: - Really? VANESSA: - My only interest is flowers. BARRY: Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan. : Anyway, if you look... (Barry points to a tree in the middle of Central Park) : There's my hive right there. See it? VANESSA: You're in Sheep Meadow! BARRY: Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond! VANESSA: No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once. BARRY: - Why do girls put rings on their toes? VANESSA: - Why not? BARRY:
ADAM: Humans! I can't believe you were with humans! : Giant, scary humans! What were they like? BARRY: Huge and crazy. They talk crazy. : They eat crazy giant things. They drive crazy. ADAM: - Do they try and kill you, like on TV? BARRY: - Some of them. But some of them don't. ADAM: - How'd you get back? BARRY: - Poodle. ADAM: You did it, and I'm glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see. : You had your "experience." Now you can pick out your job and be normal. BARRY: - Well... ADAM: - Well? BARRY: Well, I met someone.
ADAM: You did? Was she Bee-ish? : - A wasp?! Your parents will kill you! BARRY: - No, no, no, not a wasp. ADAM: - Spider? BARRY: - I'm not attracted to spiders. : I know, for everyone else, it's the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. : I can't get by that face. ADAM: So who is she? BARRY: She's... human. ADAM: No, no. That's a bee law. You wouldn't break a bee law. BARRY: - Her name's Vanessa. (Adam puts his head in his hands) ADAM: - Oh, boy. BARRY== She's so nice. And she's a florist! ADAM: Oh, no! You're dating a human florist!
BARRY: We're not dating. ADAM: You're flying outside the hive, talking to humans that attack our homes : with power washers and M-80s! That's one-eighth a stick of dynamite! BARRY: She saved my life! And she understands me. ADAM: This is over! BARRY: Eat this. (Barry gives Adam a piece of the crumb that he got from Vanessa. Adam eats it) ADAM: (Adam's tone changes) This is not over! What was that? BARRY: - They call it a crumb. ADAM: - It was so stingin' stripey! BARRY: And that's not what they eat. That's what falls off what they eat! : - You know what a Cinnabon is? ADAM: - No. (Adam opens a door behind him and he pulls Barry in)
BARRY: It's bread and cinnamon and frosting. ADAM: Be quiet! BARRY: They heat it up... ADAM: Sit down! (Adam forces Barry to sit down) BARRY: (Still rambling about Cinnabons) ...really hot! (Adam grabs Barry by the shoulders) ADAM: - Listen to me! : We are not them! We're us. There's us and there's them! BARRY== Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning? ADAM: There's no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me! : You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. Thinking bee! BARRY: - Thinking bee. WORKER BEE: - Thinking bee. WORKER BEES AND ADAM: Thinking bee! Thinking bee!
Thinking bee! Thinking bee! (Flash forward in time; Barry is laying on a raft in a pool full of honey. He is wearing sunglasses) JANET: There he is. He's in the pool. MARTIN: You know what your problem is, Barry? (Barry pulls down his sunglasses and he looks annoyed) BARRY: (Sarcastic) I gotta start thinking bee? JANET: How much longer will this go on? MARTIN: It's been three days! Why aren't you working? (Puts sunglasses back on) BARRY: I've got a lot of big life decisions to think about. MARTIN: What life? You have no life! You have no job. You're barely a bee! JANET: Would it kill you to make a little honey? (Barry rolls off the raft and sinks into the honey pool) : Barry, come out. Your father's talking to you. : Martin, would you talk to him? MARTIN:
Barry, I'm talking to you! (Barry keeps sinking into the honey until he is suddenly in Central Park having a picnic with Vanessa) (Barry has a cup of honey and he clinks his glass with Vanessas. Suddenly a mosquito lands on Vanessa and she slaps it, killing it. They both gasp but then burst out laughing) VANESSA: You coming? (The camera pans over and Vanessa is climbing into a small yellow airplane) BARRY: Got everything? VANESSA: All set! BARRY: Go ahead. I'll catch up. (Vanessa lifts off and flies ahead) VANESSA: Don't be too long. (Barry catches up with Vanessa and he sticks out his arms like ana irplane. He rolls from side to side, and Vanessa copies him with the airplane) VANESSA: Watch this! (Barry stays back and watches as Vanessa draws a heart in the air using pink smoke from the plane, but on the last loop-the-loop she suddenly crashes into a mountain and the plane explodes. The destroyed plane falls into some rocks and explodes a second time) BARRY: Vanessa! (As Barry is yelling his mouth fills with honey and he wakes up, discovering that he was just day dreaming. He slowly sinks back into the honey pool) MARTIN: - We're still here.
JANET: - I told you not to yell at him. : He doesn't respond to yelling! MARTIN: - Then why yell at me? JANET: - Because you don't listen! MARTIN: I'm not listening to this. BARRY: Sorry, I've gotta go. MARTIN: - Where are you going? BARRY: - I'm meeting a friend. JANET: A girl? Is this why you can't decide? BARRY: Bye. (Barry flies out the door and Martin shakes his head) : JANET== I just hope she's Bee-ish. (Fast forward in time and Barry is sitting on Vanessa's shoulder and she is closing up her shop) BARRY: They have a huge parade of flowers every year in Pasadena? VANESSA: To be in the Tournament of Roses, that's every florist's dream!
: Up on a float, surrounded by flowers, crowds cheering. BARRY: A tournament. Do the roses compete in athletic events? VANESSA: No. All right, I've got one. How come you don't fly everywhere? BARRY: It's exhausting. Why don't you run everywhere? It's faster. VANESSA: Yeah, OK, I see, I see. All right, your turn. BARRY: TiVo. You can just freeze live TV? That's insane! VANESSA: You don't have that? BARRY: We have Hivo, but it's a disease. It's a horrible, horrible disease. VANESSA: Oh, my. (A human walks by and Barry narrowly avoids him) PASSERBY: Dumb bees! VANESSA: You must want to sting all those jerks. BARRY: We try not to sting.
It's usually fatal for us. VANESSA: So you have to watch your temper (They walk into a store) BARRY: Very carefully. You kick a wall, take a walk, : write an angry letter and throw it out. Work through it like any emotion: : Anger, jealousy, lust. (Suddenly an employee(Hector) hits Barry off of Vanessa's shoulder. Hector thinks he's saving Vanessa) VANESSA: (To Barry) Oh, my goodness! Are you OK? (Barry is getting up off the floor) BARRY: Yeah. VANESSA: (To Hector) - What is wrong with you?! HECTOR: (Confused) - It's a bug. VANESSA: He's not bothering anybody. Get out of here, you creep! (Vanessa hits Hector across the face with the magazine he had and then hits him in the head. Hector backs away covering his head) Barry: What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular? (Vanessa sets Barry back on her shoulder)
VANESSA: Yeah, it was. How did you know? BARRY: It felt like about 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much our limit. VANESSA: You've really got that down to a science. BARRY: - Oh, we have to. I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue. VANESSA: - I'll bet. (Barry looks to his right and notices there is honey for sale in the aisle) BARRY: What in the name of Mighty Hercules is this? (Barry looks at all the brands of honey, shocked) How did this get here? Cute Bee, Golden Blossom, : Ray Liotta Private Select? (Barry puts his hands up and slowly turns around, a look of disgust on his face) VANESSA: - Is he that actor? BARRY: - I never heard of him. : - Why is this here? VANESSA: - For people. We eat it. BARRY:
You don't have enough food of your own?! (Hector looks back and notices that Vanessa is talking to Barry) VANESSA: - Well, yes. BARRY: - How do you get it? VANESSA: - Bees make it. BARRY: - I know who makes it! : And it's hard to make it! : There's heating, cooling, stirring. You need a whole Krelman thing! VANESSA: - It's organic. BARRY: - It's our-ganic! VANESSA: It's just honey, Barry. BARRY: Just what?! : Bees don't know about this! This is stealing! A lot of stealing! : You've taken our homes, schools, hospitals! This is all we have! :
And it's on sale?! I'm getting to the bottom of this. : I'm getting to the bottom of all of this! (Flash forward in time; Barry paints his face with black strikes like a soldier and sneaks into the storage section of the store) (Two men, including Hector, are loading boxes into some trucks) : SUPERMARKET EMPLOYEE== Hey, Hector. : - You almost done? HECTOR: - Almost. (Barry takes a step to peak around the corner) (Whispering) He is here. I sense it. : Well, I guess I'll go home now (Hector pretends to walk away by walking in place and speaking loudly) : and just leave this nice honey out, with no one around. BARRY: You're busted, box boy! HECTOR: I knew I heard something! So you can talk! BARRY: I can talk. And now you'll start talking! : Where you getting the sweet stuff?
Who's your supplier? HECTOR: I don't understand. I thought we were friends. : The last thing we want to do is upset bees! (Hector takes a thumbtack out of the board behind him and sword-fights Barry. Barry is using his stinger like a sword) : You're too late! It's ours now! BARRY: You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword! HECTOR: You, sir, will be lunch for my iguana, Ignacio! (Barry hits the thumbtack out of Hectors hand and Hector surrenders) Barry: Where is the honey coming from? : Tell me where! HECTOR: (Pointing to leaving truck) Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms! (Barry chases after the truck but it is getting away. He flies onto a bicyclists' backpack and he catches up to the truck) CAR DRIVER: (To bicyclist) Crazy person! (Barry flies off and lands on the windshield of the Honey farms truck. Barry looks around and sees dead bugs splattered everywhere) BARRY: What horrible thing has happened here?
: These faces, they never knew what hit them. And now : they're on the road to nowhere! (Barry hears a sudden whisper) (Barry looks up and sees Mooseblood, a mosquito playing dead) MOOSEBLOOD: Just keep still. BARRY: What? You're not dead? MOOSEBLOOD: Do I look dead? They will wipe anything that moves. Where you headed? BARRY: To Honey Farms. I am onto something huge here. MOOSEBLOOD: I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood, crazy stuff. Blows your head off! ANOTHER BUG PLAYING DEAD: I'm going to Tacoma. (Barry looks at another bug) BARRY: - And you? MOOSEBLOOD: - He really is dead. BARRY: All right. (Another bug hits the windshield and the drivers notice. They activate the windshield wipers) MOOSEBLOOD== Uh-oh! (The windshield wipers are slowly sliding over the dead bugs and wiping
them off) BARRY: - What is that?! MOOSEBLOOD: - Oh, no! : - A wiper! Triple blade! BARRY: - Triple blade? MOOSEBLOOD: Jump on! It's your only chance, bee! (Mooseblood and Barry grab onto the wiper and they hold on as it wipes the windshield) Why does everything have to be so doggone clean?! : How much do you people need to see?! (Bangs on windshield) : Open your eyes! Stick your head out the window! RADIO IN TRUCK: From NPR News in Washington, I'm Carl Kasell. MOOSEBLOOD: But don't kill no more bugs! (Mooseblood and Barry are washed off by the wipr fluid) MOOSEBLOOD: - Bee! BARRY: - Moose blood guy!! (Barry starts screaming as he hangs onto the antenna) (Suddenly it is revealed that a water bug is also hanging on the antenna.
There is a pause and then Barry and the water bug both start screaming) TRUCK DRIVER: - You hear something? GUY IN TRUCK: - Like what? TRUCK DRIVER: Like tiny screaming. GUY IN TRUCK: Turn off the radio. (The antenna starts to lower until it gets to low and sinks into the truck. The water bug flies off and Barry is forced to let go and he is blown away. He luckily lands inside a horn on top of the truck where he finds Mooseblood, who was blown into the same place) MOOSEBLOOD: Whassup, bee boy? BARRY: Hey, Blood. (Fast forward in time and we see that Barry is deep in conversation with Mooseblood. They have been sitting in this truck for a while) BARRY: ...Just a row of honey jars, as far as the eye could see. MOOSEBLOOD: Wow! BARRY: I assume wherever this truck goes is where they're getting it. : I mean, that honey's ours. MOOSEBLOOD: - Bees hang tight. BARRY:
MOOSEBLOOD: I knew I'd catch y'all down here. Did you bring your crazy straw? (The truck goes out of view and Barry notices that the truck he's on is pulling into a camp of some sort) TRUCK DRIVER: We throw it in jars, slap a label on it, and it's pretty much pure profit. (Barry flies out) BARRY: What is this place? BEEKEEPER 1#: A bee's got a brain the size of a pinhead. BEEKEEPER #2: They are pinheads! : Pinhead. : - Check out the new smoker. BEEKEEPER #1: - Oh, sweet. That's the one you want. : The Thomas 3000! BARRY: Smoker? BEEKEEPER #1: Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic. Twice the nicotine, all the tar. : A couple breaths of this knocks them right out.
BEEKEEPER #2: They make the honey, and we make the money. BARRY: "They make the honey, and we make the money"? (The Beekeeper sprays hundreds of cheap miniature apartments with the smoker. The bees are fainting or passing out) Oh, my! : What's going on? Are you OK? (Barry flies into one of the apartment and helps a Bee couple get off the ground. They are coughing and its hard for them to stand) BEE IN APARTMENT: Yeah. It doesn't last too long. BARRY: Do you know you're in a fake hive with fake walls? BEE IN APPARTMENT: Our queen was moved here. We had no choice. (The apartment room is completely empty except for a photo on the wall of the "queen" who is obviously a man in women's clothes) BARRY: This is your queen? That's a man in women's clothes! : That's a drag queen! : What is this? (Barry flies out and he discovers that there are hundreds of these structures, each housing thousands of Bees) Oh, no! : There's hundreds of them! (Barry takes out his camera and takes pictures of these Bee work camps. The beekeepers look very evil in these depictions)
Bee honey. : Our honey is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale! : This is worse than anything bears have done! I intend to do something. (Flash forward in time and Barry is showing these pictures to his parents) JANET: Oh, Barry, stop. MARTIN: Who told you humans are taking our honey? That's a rumor. BARRY: Do these look like rumors? (Holds up the pictures) UNCLE CARL: That's a conspiracy theory. These are obviously doctored photos. JANET: How did you get mixed up in this? ADAM: He's been talking to humans. JANET: - What? MARTIN: - Talking to humans?! ADAM: He has a human girlfriend. And they make out! JANET: Make out? Barry!
BARRY: We do not. ADAM: - You wish you could. MARTIN: - Whose side are you on? BARRY: The bees! UNCLE CARL: (He has been sitting in the back of the room this entire time) I dated a cricket once in San Antonio. Those crazy legs kept me up all night. JANET: Barry, this is what you want to do with your life? BARRY: I want to do it for all our lives. Nobody works harder than bees! : Dad, I remember you coming home so overworked : your hands were still stirring. You couldn't stop. JANET: I remember that. BARRY: What right do they have to our honey? : We live on two cups a year. They put it in lip balm for no reason whatsoever!
ADAM: Even if it's true, what can one bee do? BARRY: Sting them where it really hurts. MARTIN: In the face! The eye! : - That would hurt. BARRY: - No. MARTIN: Up the nose? That's a killer. BARRY: There's only one place you can sting the humans, one place where it matters. (Flash forward a bit in time and we are watching the Bee News) BEE NEWS NARRATOR: Hive at Five, the hive's only full-hour action news source. BEE PROTESTOR: No more bee beards! BEE NEWS NARRATOR: With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk. : Weather with Storm Stinger. : Sports with Buzz Larvi. : And Jeanette Chung. BOB BUMBLE: - Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble. JEANETTE CHUNG:
KEN: In tennis, you attack at the point of weakness! VANESSA: It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81. KEN== Honey, her backhand's a joke! I'm not gonna take advantage of that? BARRY: (To Ken) Quiet, please. Actual work going on here. KEN: (Pointing at Barry) - Is that that same bee? VANESSA: - Yes, it is! : I'm helping him sue the human race. BARRY: - Hello. KEN: - Hello, bee. VANESSA: This is Ken. BARRY: (Recalling the "Winter Boots" incident earlier) Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe. KEN: (To Vanessa) Why does he talk again? VANESSA:
Listen, you better go 'cause we're really busy working. KEN: But it's our yogurt night! VANESSA: (Holding door open for Ken) Bye-bye. KEN: (Yelling) Why is yogurt night so difficult?! (Ken leaves and Vanessa walks over to Barry. His workplace is a mess) VANESSA: You poor thing. You two have been at this for hours! BARRY: Yes, and Adam here has been a huge help. ADAM: - Frosting... - How many sugars? ==BARRY== Just one. I try not to use the competition. : So why are you helping me? VANESSA: Bees have good qualities. : And it takes my mind off the shop. : Instead of flowers, people are giving balloon bouquets now. BARRY:
Those are great, if you're three. VANESSA: And artificial flowers. BARRY: - Oh, those just get me psychotic! VANESSA: - Yeah, me too. : BARRY: Bent stingers, pointless pollination. ADAM: Bees must hate those fake things! : Nothing worse than a daffodil that's had work done. : Maybe this could make up for it a little bit. VANESSA: - This lawsuit's a pretty big deal. BARRY: - I guess. ADAM: You sure you want to go through with it? BARRY: Am I sure? When I'm done with the humans, they won't be able : to say, "Honey, I'm home," without paying a royalty! (Flash forward in time and we are watching the human news. The camera shows
a crowd outside a courthouse) NEWS REPORTER: It's an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan, : where the world anxiously waits, because for the first time in history, : we will hear for ourselves if a honeybee can actually speak. (We are no longer watching through a news camera) ADAM: What have we gotten into here, Barry? BARRY: It's pretty big, isn't it? ADAM== (Looking at the hundreds of people around the courthouse) I can't believe how many humans don't work during the day. BARRY: You think billion-dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers? SECURITY GUARD: Everybody needs to stay behind the barricade. (A limousine drives up and a fat man,Layton Montgomery, a honey industry owner gets out and walks past Barry) ADAM: - What's the matter? BARRY: - I don't know, I just got a chill. (Fast forward in time and everyone is in the court) MONTGOMERY: Well, if it isn't the bee team.
(To Honey Industry lawyers) You boys work on this? MAN: All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding. JUDGE BUMBLETON: All right. Case number 4475, : Superior Court of New York, Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry : is now in session. : Mr. Montgomery, you're representing the five food companies collectively? MONTGOMERY: A privilege. JUDGE BUMBLETON: Mr. Benson... you're representing all the bees of the world? (Everyone looks closely, they are waiting to see if a Bee can really talk) (Barry makes several buzzing sounds to sound like a Bee) BARRY: I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor, we're ready to proceed. JUDGE BUMBLBETON: Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please. MONTGOMERY: Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, : my grandmother was a simple woman. :
Born on a farm, she believed it was man's divine right : to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us. : If we lived in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines, : just think of what would it mean. : I would have to negotiate with the silkworm : for the elastic in my britches! : Talking bee! (Montgomery walks over and looks closely at Barry) : How do we know this isn't some sort of : holographic motion-picture-capture Hollywood wizardry? : They could be using laser beams! : Robotics! Ventriloquism! Cloning! For all we know, : he could be on steroids! JUDGE BUMBLETON: Mr. Benson?
BARRY: Ladies and gentlemen, there's no trickery here. : I'm just an ordinary bee. Honey's pretty important to me. : It's important to all bees. We invented it! : We make it. And we protect it with our lives. : Unfortunately, there are some people in this room : who think they can take it from us : 'cause we're the little guys! I'm hoping that, after this is all over, : you'll see how, by taking our honey, you not only take everything we have : but everything we are! JANET== (To Martin) I wish he'd dress like that all the time. So nice! JUDGE BUMBLETON: Call your first witness. BARRY: So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden
of Honey Farms, big company you have. KLAUSS VANDERHAYDEN: I suppose so. BARRY: I see you also own Honeyburton and Honron! KLAUSS: Yes, they provide beekeepers for our farms. BARRY: Beekeeper. I find that to be a very disturbing term. : I don't imagine you employ any bee-free-ers, do you? KLAUSS: (Quietly) - No. BARRY: - I couldn't hear you. KLAUSS: - No. BARRY: - No. : Because you don't free bees. You keep bees. Not only that, : it seems you thought a bear would be an appropriate image for a jar of honey. KLAUSS: They're very lovable creatures.
: Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear. BARRY: You mean like this? (The bear from Over The Hedge barges in through the back door and it is roaring and standing on its hind legs. It is thrashing its claws and people are screaming. It is being held back by a guard who has the bear on a chain) : (Pointing to the roaring bear) Bears kill bees! : How'd you like his head crashing through your living room?! : Biting into your couch! Spitting out your throw pillows! JUDGE BUMBLETON: OK, that's enough. Take him away. (The bear stops roaring and thrashing and walks out) BARRY: So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here. Your name intrigues me. : - Where have I heard it before? MR. STING: - I was with a band called The Police. BARRY: But you've never been a police officer, have you? STING: No, I haven't. BARRY:
No, you haven't. And so here we have yet another example : of bee culture casually stolen by a human : for nothing more than a prance-about stage name. STING: Oh, please. BARRY: Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting? : Because I'm feeling a little stung, Sting. : Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner! MONTGOMERY: That's not his real name?! You idiots! BARRY: Mr. Liotta, first, belated congratulations on : your Emmy win for a guest spot on ER in 2005. RAY LIOTTA: Thank you. Thank you. BARRY: I see from your resume that you're devilishly handsome : with a churning inner turmoil
that's ready to blow. RAY LIOTTA: I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime? BARRY: Not yet it isn't. But is this what it's come to for you? : Exploiting tiny, helpless bees so you don't : have to rehearse your part and learn your lines, sir? RAY LIOTTA: Watch it, Benson! I could blow right now! BARRY: This isn't a goodfella. This is a badfella! (Ray Liotta looses it and tries to grab Barry) RAY LIOTTA: Why doesn't someone just step on this creep, and we can all go home?! JUDGE BUMBLETON: - Order in this court! RAY LIOTTA: - You're all thinking it! (Judge Bumbleton starts banging her gavel) JUDGE BUMBLETON: Order! Order, I say! RAY LIOTTA: - Say it! MAN:
I didn't want all this to go to waste, so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free. KEN: Oh, that was lucky. (Ken sits down at the table across from Barry and Vanessa leaves the room) VANESSA: There's a little left. I could heat it up. KEN: (Not taking his eyes off Barry) Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever. BARRY: So I hear you're quite a tennis player. : I'm not much for the game myself. The ball's a little grabby. KEN: That's where I usually sit. Right... (Points to where Barry is sitting) there. VANESSA: (Calling from other room) Ken, Barry was looking at your resume, : and he agreed with me that eating with chopsticks isn't really a special skill. KEN: (To Barry) You think I don't see what you're doing? BARRY: I know how hard it is to find the right job. We have that in common.
KEN: Do we? BARRY: Bees have 100 percent employment, but we do jobs like taking the crud out. KEN: (Menacingly) That's just what I was thinking about doing. (Ken reaches for a fork on the table but knocks if on the floor. He goes to pick it up) VANESSA: Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor for his fuzz. I hope that was all right. (Ken quickly rises back up after hearing this but hits his head on the table and yells) BARRY: I'm going to drain the old stinger. KEN: Yeah, you do that. (Barry flies past Ken to get to the bathroom and Ken freaks out, splashing some of the wine he was using to cool his head in his eyes. He yells in anger) (Barry looks at the magazines featuring his victories in court) BARRY: Look at that. (Barry flies into the bathroom) (He puts his hand on his head but this makes hurts him and makes him even madder. He yells again) (Barry is washing his hands in the sink but then Ken walks in) KEN: You know, you know I've just about had it (Closes bathroom door behind him) with your little mind games. (Ken is menacingly rolling up a magazine) BARRY:
(Backing away) - What's that? KEN: - Italian Vogue. BARRY: Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages. KEN: It's a lot of ads. BARRY: Remember what Van said, why is your life more valuable than mine? KEN: That's funny, I just can't seem to recall that! (Ken smashes everything off the sink with the magazine and Barry narrowly escapes) (Ken follows Barry around and tries to hit him with the magazine but he keeps missing) (Ken gets a spray bottle) : I think something stinks in here! BARRY: (Enjoying the spray) I love the smell of flowers. (Ken holds a lighter in front of the spray bottle) KEN: How do you like the smell of flames?! BARRY: Not as much. (Ken fires his make-shift flamethrower but misses Barry, burning the bathroom. He torches the whole room but looses his footing and falls into the bathtub. After getting hit in the head by falling objects 3 times he picks up the shower head, revealing a Water bug hiding under it) WATER BUG: Water bug! Not taking sides!
(Barry gets up out of a pile of bathroom supplies and he is wearing a chapstick hat) BARRY: Ken, I'm wearing a Chapstick hat! This is pathetic! (Ken switches the shower head to lethal) KEN: I've got issues! (Ken sprays Barry with the shower head and he crash lands into the toilet) (Ken menacingly looks down into the toilet at Barry) Well, well, well, a royal flush! BARRY: - You're bluffing. KEN: - Am I? (flushes toilet) (Barry grabs a chapstick from the toilet seat and uses it to surf in the flushing toilet) BARRY: Surf's up, dude! (Barry flies out of the toilet on the chapstick and sprays Ken's face with the toilet water) : EW,Poo water! BARRY: That bowl is gnarly. KEN: (Aiming a toilet cleaner at Barry) Except for those dirty yellow rings! (Barry cowers and covers his head and Vanessa runs in and takes the toilet cleaner from Ken just before he hits Barry) VANESSA: Kenneth! What are you doing?! KEN== (Leaning towards Barry)
You know, I don't even like honey! I don't eat it! VANESSA: We need to talk! (Vanessa pulls Ken out of the bathroom) : He's just a little bee! : And he happens to be the nicest bee I've met in a long time! KEN: Long time? What are you talking about?! Are there other bugs in your life? VANESSA: No, but there are other things bugging me in life. And you're one of them! KEN: Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night... : My nerves are fried from riding on this emotional roller coaster! VANESSA: Goodbye, Ken. (Ken huffs and walks out and slams the door. But suddenly he walks back in and stares at Barry) : And for your information, I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners MADE BY MAN! (Ken leaves again and Vanessa leans in towards Barry) VANESSA: I'm sorry about all that. (Ken walks back in again)
KEN: I know it's got an aftertaste! I LIKE IT! (Ken leaves for the last time) VANESSA: I always felt there was some kind of barrier between Ken and me. : I couldn't overcome it. Oh, well. : Are you OK for the trial? BARRY: I believe Mr. Montgomery is about out of ideas. (Flash forward in time and Barry, Adam, and Vanessa are back in court) MONTGOMERY-- We would like to call Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand. ADAM: Good idea! You can really see why he's considered one of the best lawyers... (Barry stares at Adam) ...Yeah. LAWYER: Layton, you've gotta weave some magic with this jury, or it's gonna be all over. MONTGOMERY: Don't worry. The only thing I have to do to turn this jury around : is to remind them of what they don't like about bees. (To lawyer)
MONTGOMERY: Oh, I'm hit!! : Oh, lordy, I am hit! JUDGE BUMBLETON: (Banging gavel) Order! Order! MONTGOMERY: (Overreacting) The venom! The venom is coursing through my veins! : I have been felled by a winged beast of destruction! : You see? You can't treat them like equals! They're striped savages! : Stinging's the only thing they know! It's their way! BARRY: - Adam, stay with me. ADAM: - I can't feel my legs. MONTGOMERY: (Overreacting and throwing his body around the room) What angel of mercy will come forward to suck the poison : from my heaving buttocks? JUDGE BUMLBETON: I will have order in this court. Order!
: Order, please! (Flash forward in time and we see a human news reporter) NEWS REPORTER: The case of the honeybees versus the human race : took a pointed turn against the bees : yesterday when one of their legal team stung Layton T. Montgomery. (Adam is laying in a hospital bed and Barry flies in to see him) BARRY: - Hey, buddy. ADAM: - Hey. BARRY: - Is there much pain? ADAM: - Yeah. : I... : I blew the whole case, didn't I? BARRY: It doesn't matter. What matters is you're alive. You could have died. ADAM: I'd be better off dead. Look at me. (A small plastic sword is replaced as Adam's stinger) They got it from the cafeteria downstairs, in a tuna sandwich.
: Look, there's a little celery still on it. (Flicks off the celery and sighs) BARRY: What was it like to sting someone? ADAM: I can't explain it. It was all... : All adrenaline and then... and then ecstasy! BARRY: ...All right. ADAM: You think it was all a trap? BARRY: Of course. I'm sorry. I flew us right into this. : What were we thinking? Look at us. We're just a couple of bugs in this world. ADAM: What will the humans do to us if they win? BARRY: I don't know. ADAM: I hear they put the roaches in motels. That doesn't sound so bad. BARRY: Adam, they check in, but they don't check out!
ADAM: Oh, my. (Coughs) Could you get a nurse to close that window? BARRY: - Why? ADAM: - The smoke. (We can see that two humans are smoking cigarettes outside) : Bees don't smoke. BARRY: Right. Bees don't smoke. : Bees don't smoke! But some bees are smoking. : That's it! That's our case! ADAM: It is? It's not over? BARRY: Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere. : Get back to the court and stall. Stall any way you can. (Flash forward in time and Adam is making a paper boat in the courtroom) ADAM: And assuming you've done step 29 correctly, you're ready for the tub! (We see that the jury have each made their own paper boats after being taught how by Adam. They all look confused) JUDGE BUMBLETON:
Mr. Flayman. ADAM: Yes? Yes, Your Honor! JUDGE BUMBLETON: Where is the rest of your team? ADAM: (Continues stalling) Well, Your Honor, it's interesting. : Bees are trained to fly haphazardly, : and as a result, we don't make very good time. : I actually heard a funny story about... MONTGOMERY: Your Honor, haven't these ridiculous bugs : taken up enough of this court's valuable time? : How much longer will we allow these absurd shenanigans to go on? : They have presented no compelling evidence to support their charges : against my clients, who run legitimate businesses. : I move for a complete dismissal
of this entire case! JUDGE BUMBLETON: Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going : to have to consider Mr. Montgomery's motion. ADAM: But you can't! We have a terrific case. MONTGOMERY: Where is your proof? Where is the evidence? : Show me the smoking gun! BARRY: (Barry flies in through the door) Hold it, Your Honor! You want a smoking gun? : Here is your smoking gun. (Vanessa walks in holding a bee smoker. She sets it down on the Judge's podium) JUDGE BUMBLETON: What is that? BARRY: It's a bee smoker! MONTGOMERY: (Picks up smoker) What, this? This harmless little contraption? : This couldn't hurt a fly, let alone a bee. (Montgomery accidentally fires it at the bees in the crowd and they faint
and cough) (Dozens of reporters start taking pictures of the suffering bees) BARRY: Look at what has happened : to bees who have never been asked, "Smoking or non?" : Is this what nature intended for us? : To be forcibly addicted to smoke machines : and man-made wooden slat work camps? : Living out our lives as honey slaves to the white man? (Barry points to the honey industry owners. One of them is an African American so he awkwardly separates himself from the others) LAWYER: - What are we gonna do? - He's playing the species card. BARRY: Ladies and gentlemen, please, free these bees! ADAM AND VANESSA: Free the bees! Free the bees! BEES IN CROWD: Free the bees! HUMAN JURY: Free the bees! Free the bees! JUDGE BUMBLETON: The court finds in favor of the bees!
BARRY: Vanessa, we won! VANESSA: I knew you could do it! High-five! (Vanessa hits Barry hard because her hand is too big) : Sorry. BARRY: (Overjoyed) I'm OK! You know what this means? : All the honey will finally belong to the bees. : Now we won't have to work so hard all the time. MONTGOMERY: This is an unholy perversion of the balance of nature, Benson. : You'll regret this. (Montgomery leaves and Barry goes outside the courtroom. Several reporters start asking Barry questions) REPORTER 1#: Barry, how much honey is out there? BARRY: All right. One at a time. REPORTER 2#: Barry, who are you wearing? BARRY: My sweater is Ralph Lauren, and I have no pants.
(Barry flies outside with the paparazzi and Adam and Vanessa stay back) ADAM: (To Vanessa) - What if Montgomery's right? Vanessa: - What do you mean? ADAM: We've been living the bee way a long time, 27 million years. (Flash forward in time and Barry is talking to a man) BUSINESS MAN: Congratulations on your victory. What will you demand as a settlement? BARRY: First, we'll demand a complete shutdown of all bee work camps. (As Barry is talking we see a montage of men putting "closed" tape over the work camps and freeing the bees in the crappy apartments) Then we want back the honey that was ours to begin with, : every last drop. (Men in suits are pushing all the honey of the aisle and into carts) We demand an end to the glorification of the bear as anything more (We see a statue of a bear-shaped honey container being pulled down by bees) than a filthy, smelly, bad-breath stink machine. : We're all aware of what they do in the woods. (We see Winnie the Pooh sharing his honey with Piglet in the cross-hairs of a high-tech sniper rifle) BARRY: (Looking through binoculars)
Wait for my signal. : Take him out. (Winnie gets hit by a tranquilizer dart and dramatically falls off the log he was standing on, his tongue hanging out. Piglet looks at Pooh in fear and the Sniper takes the honey.) SNIPER: He'll have nausea for a few hours, then he'll be fine. (Flash forward in time) BARRY: And we will no longer tolerate bee-negative nicknames... (Mr. Sting is sitting at home until he is taken out of his house by the men in suits) STING: But it's just a prance-about stage name! BARRY: ...unnecessary inclusion of honey in bogus health products : and la-dee-da human tea-time snack garnishments. (An old lady is mixing honey into her tea but suddenly men in suits smash her face down on the table and take the honey) OLD LADY: Can't breathe. (A honey truck pulls up to Barry's hive) WORKER: Bring it in, boys! : Hold it right there! Good. : Tap it.
(Tons of honey is being pumped into the hive's storage) BEE WORKER 1#: (Honey overflows from the cup) Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups, and there's gallons more coming! : - I think we need to shut down! =BEE WORKER #2= - Shut down? We've never shut down. : Shut down honey production! DEAN BUZZWELL: Stop making honey! (The bees all leave their stations. Two bees run into a room and they put the keys into a machine) Turn your key, sir! (Two worker bees dramatically turn their keys, which opens the button which they press, shutting down the honey-making machines. This is the first time this has ever happened) BEE: ...What do we do now? (Flash forward in time and a Bee is about to jump into a pool full of honey) Cannonball! (The bee gets stuck in the honey and we get a short montage of Bees leaving work) (We see the Pollen Jocks flying but one of them gets a call on his antenna) LOU LU DUVA: (Through "phone") We're shutting honey production! : Mission abort. POLLEN JOCK #1: Aborting pollination and nectar detail. Returning to base. (The Pollen Jocks fly back to the hive)
(We get a time lapse of Central Park slowly wilting away as the bees all relax) BARRY: Adam, you wouldn't believe how much honey was out there. ADAM: Oh, yeah? BARRY: What's going on? Where is everybody? (The entire street is deserted) : - Are they out celebrating? ADAM: - They're home. : They don't know what to do. Laying out, sleeping in. : I heard your Uncle Carl was on his way to San Antonio with a cricket. BARRY: At least we got our honey back. ADAM: Sometimes I think, so what if humans liked our honey? Who wouldn't? : It's the greatest thing in the world! I was excited to be part of making it. : This was my new desk. This was my new job. I wanted to do it really well. :
And now... : Now I can't. (Flash forward in time and Barry is talking to Vanessa) BARRY: I don't understand why they're not happy. : I thought their lives would be better! : They're doing nothing. It's amazing. Honey really changes people. VANESSA: You don't have any idea what's going on, do you? BARRY: - What did you want to show me? (Vanessa takes Barry to the rooftop where they first had coffee and points to her store) VANESSA: - This. (Points at her flowers. They are all grey and wilting) BARRY: What happened here? VANESSA: That is not the half of it. (Small flash forward in time and Vanessa and Barry are on the roof of her store and she points to Central Park) (We see that Central Park is no longer green and colorful, rather it is grey, brown, and dead-like. It is very depressing to look at) BARRY: Oh, no. Oh, my. :
They're all wilting. VANESSA: Doesn't look very good, does it? BARRY: No. VANESSA: And whose fault do you think that is? BARRY: You know, I'm gonna guess bees. VANESSA== (Staring at Barry) Bees? BARRY: Specifically, me. : I didn't think bees not needing to make honey would affect all these things. VANESSA: It's not just flowers. Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees. BARRY: That's our whole SAT test right there. VANESSA: Take away produce, that affects the entire animal kingdom. : And then, of course... BARRY: The human species? : So if there's no more pollination,
: it could all just go south here, couldn't it? VANESSA: I know this is also partly my fault. BARRY: How about a suicide pact? VANESSA: How do we do it? BARRY: - I'll sting you, you step on me. VANESSA: - That just kills you twice. BARRY: Right, right. VANESSA: Listen, Barry... sorry, but I gotta get going. (Vanessa leaves) BARRY: (To himself) I had to open my mouth and talk. : Vanessa? : Vanessa? Why are you leaving? Where are you going? (Vanessa is getting into a taxi) VANESSA: To the final Tournament of Roses parade in Pasadena. :
They've moved it to this weekend because all the flowers are dying. : It's the last chance I'll ever have to see it. BARRY: Vanessa, I just wanna say I'm sorry. I never meant it to turn out like this. VANESSA: I know. Me neither. (The taxi starts to drive away) BARRY: Tournament of Roses. Roses can't do sports. : Wait a minute. Roses. Roses? : Roses! : Vanessa! (Barry flies after the Taxi) VANESSA: Roses?! : Barry? (Barry is flying outside the window of the taxi) BARRY: - Roses are flowers! VANESSA: - Yes, they are. BARRY: Flowers, bees, pollen!
VANESSA: I know. That's why this is the last parade. BARRY: Maybe not. Could you ask him to slow down? VANESSA: Could you slow down? (The taxi driver screeches to a stop and Barry keeps flying forward) : Barry! (Barry flies back to the window) BARRY: OK, I made a huge mistake. This is a total disaster, all my fault. VANESSA: Yes, it kind of is. BARRY: I've ruined the planet. I wanted to help you : with the flower shop. I've made it worse. VANESSA: Actually, it's completely closed down. BARRY: I thought maybe you were remodeling. : But I have another idea, and it's greater than my previous ideas combined. VANESSA: I don't want to hear it!
BARRY: All right, they have the roses, the roses have the pollen. : I know every bee, plant and flower bud in this park. : All we gotta do is get what they've got back here with what we've got. : - Bees. VANESSA: - Park. BARRY: - Pollen! VANESSA: - Flowers. BARRY: - Re-pollination! VANESSA: - Across the nation! : Tournament of Roses, Pasadena, California. : They've got nothing but flowers, floats and cotton candy. : Security will be tight. BARRY: I have an idea.
(Flash forward in time. Vanessa is about to board a plane which has all the Roses on board. VANESSA: Vanessa Bloome, FTD. (Holds out badge) : Official floral business. It's real. SECURITY GUARD: Sorry, ma'am. Nice brooch. =VANESSA== Thank you. It was a gift. (Barry is revealed to be hiding inside the brooch) (Flash back in time and Barry and Vanessa are discussing their plan) BARRY: Once inside, we just pick the right float. VANESSA: How about The Princess and the Pea? : I could be the princess, and you could be the pea! BARRY: Yes, I got it. : - Where should I sit? GUARD: - What are you? BARRY: - I believe I'm the pea. GUARD: - The pea? VANESSA:
It goes under the mattresses. GUARD: - Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart. - I'm getting the marshal. VANESSA: You do that! This whole parade is a fiasco! : Let's see what this baby'll do. (Vanessa drives the float through traffic) GUARD: Hey, what are you doing?! BARRY== Then all we do is blend in with traffic... : ...without arousing suspicion. : Once at the airport, there's no stopping us. (Flash forward in time and Barry and Vanessa are about to get on a plane) SECURITY GUARD: Stop! Security. : - You and your insect pack your float? VANESSA: - Yes. SECURITY GUARD: Has it been in your possession the entire time? VANESSA: - Yes.
SECURITY GUARD: Would you remove your shoes? (To Barry) - Remove your stinger. BARRY: - It's part of me. SECURITY GUARD: I know. Just having some fun. Enjoy your flight. (Barry plotting with Vanessa) BARRY: Then if we're lucky, we'll have just enough pollen to do the job. (Flash forward in time and Barry and Vanessa are flying on the plane) Can you believe how lucky we are? We have just enough pollen to do the job! VANESSA: I think this is gonna work. BARRY: It's got to work. CAPTAIN SCOTT: (On intercom) Attention, passengers, this is Captain Scott. : We have a bit of bad weather in New York. : It looks like we'll experience a couple hours delay. VANESSA: Barry, these are cut flowers with no water. They'll never make it. BARRY:
I gotta get up there and talk to them. VANESSA== Be careful. (Barry flies right outside the cockpit door) BARRY: Can I get help with the Sky Mall magazine? I'd like to order the talking inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer. (The flight attendant opens the door and walks out and Barry flies into the cockpit unseen) BARRY: Captain, I'm in a real situation. CAPTAIN SCOTT: - What'd you say, Hal? CO-PILOT HAL: - Nothing. (Scott notices Barry and freaks out) CAPTAIN SCOTT: Bee! BARRY: No,no,no, Don't freak out! My entire species... (Captain Scott gets out of his seat and tries to suck Barry into a handheld vacuum) HAL: (To Scott) What are you doing? (Barry lands on Hals hair but Scott sees him. He tries to suck up Barry but instead he sucks up Hals toupee) CAPTAIN SCOTT: Uh-oh. BARRY: - Wait a minute! I'm an attorney!
HAL: (Hal doesn't know Barry is on his head) - Who's an attorney? CAPTAIN SCOTT: Don't move. (Scott hits Hal in the face with the vacuum in an attempt to hit Barry. Hal is knocked out and he falls on the life raft button which launches an infalatable boat into Scott, who gets knocked out and falls to the floor. They are both uncounscious.) BARRY: (To himself) Oh, Barry. BARRY: (On intercom, with a Southern accent) Good afternoon, passengers. This is your captain. : Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B please report to the cockpit? (Vanessa looks confused) (Normal accent) ...And please hurry! (Vanessa opens the door and sees the life raft and the uncounscious pilots) VANESSA: What happened here? BARRY: I tried to talk to them, but then there was a DustBuster, a toupee, a life raft exploded. : Now one's bald, one's in a boat, and they're both unconscious! VANESSA: ...Is that another bee joke? BARRY:
VANESSA: I can't fly a plane. BARRY: - Why not? Isn't John Travolta a pilot? VANESSA: - Yes. BARRY: How hard could it be? (Vanessa sits down and flies for a little bit but we see lightning clouds outside the window) VANESSA: Wait, Barry! We're headed into some lightning. (An ominous lightning storm looms in front of the plane) (We are now watching the Bee News) BOB BUMBLE: This is Bob Bumble. We have some late-breaking news from JFK Airport, : where a suspenseful scene is developing. : Barry Benson, fresh from his legal victory... ADAM: That's Barry! BOB BUMBLE: attempting to land a plane, loaded with people, flowers : and an incapacitated flight crew. JANET, MARTIN, UNCLE CAR AND ADAM: Flowers?! (The scene switches to the human news)
REPORTER: (Talking with Bob Bumble) We have a storm in the area and two individuals at the controls : with absolutely no flight experience. BOB BUMBLE: Just a minute. There's a bee on that plane. BUD: I'm quite familiar with Mr. Benson and his no-account compadres. : They've done enough damage. REPORTER: But isn't he your only hope? BUD: Technically, a bee shouldn't be able to fly at all. : Their wings are too small... BARRY: (Through radio) Haven't we heard this a million times? : "The surface area of the wings and body mass make no sense."... BOB BUMBLE: - Get this on the air! BEE: - Got it.
BEE NEWS CREW: - Stand by. BEE NEWS CREW: - We're going live! BARRY: (Through radio on TV) ...The way we work may be a mystery to you. : Making honey takes a lot of bees doing a lot of small jobs. : But let me tell you about a small job. : If you do it well, it makes a big difference. : More than we realized. To us, to everyone. : That's why I want to get bees back to working together. : That's the bee way! We're not made of Jell-O. : We get behind a fellow. : - Black and yellow! BEES: - Hello! (The scene switches and Barry is teaching Vanessa how to fly) BARRY:
Left, right, down, hover. VANESSA: - Hover? BARRY: - Forget hover. VANESSA: This isn't so hard. (Pretending to honk the horn) Beep-beep! Beep-beep! (A Lightning bolt hits the plane and autopilot turns off) Barry, what happened?! BARRY: Wait, I think we were on autopilot the whole time. VANESSA: - That may have been helping me. BARRY: - And now we're not! VANESSA: So it turns out I cannot fly a plane. (The plane plummets but we see Lou Lu Duva and the Pollen Jocks, along with multiple other bees flying towards the plane) Lou Lu DUva: All of you, let's get behind this fellow! Move it out! : Move out! (The scene switches back to Vanessa and Barry in the plane) BARRY: Our only chance is if I do what I'd do, you copy me with the wings of the plane! (Barry sticks out his arms like an airplane and flys in front of Vanessa's face)
VANESSA: Don't have to yell. BARRY: I'm not yelling! We're in a lot of trouble. VANESSA: It's very hard to concentrate with that panicky tone in your voice! BARRY: It's not a tone. I'm panicking! VANESSA: I can't do this! (Barry slaps Vanessa) BARRY: Vanessa, pull yourself together. You have to snap out of it! VANESSA: (Slaps Barry) You snap out of it. BARRY: (Slaps Vanessa) : You snap out of it. VANESSA: - You snap out of it! BARRY: - You snap out of it! (We see that all the Pollen Jocks are flying under the plane) VANESSA: - You snap out of it! BARRY: - You snap out of it!
VANESSA: - You snap out of it! BARRY: - You snap out of it! VANESSA: - Hold it! BARRY: - Why? Come on, it's my turn. VANESSA: How is the plane flying? (The plane is now safely flying) VANESSA: I don't know. (Barry's antennae rings like a phone. Barry picks up) BARRY: Hello? LOU LU DUVA: (Through "phone") Benson, got any flowers for a happy occasion in there? (All of the Pollen Jocks are carrying the plane) BARRY: The Pollen Jocks! : They do get behind a fellow. LOU LU DUVA: - Black and yellow. POLLEN JOCKS: - Hello. LOU LU DUVA: All right, let's drop this tin can
on the blacktop. BARRY: Where? I can't see anything. Can you? VANESSA: No, nothing. It's all cloudy. : Come on. You got to think bee, Barry. BARRY: - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. (On the runway there are millions of bees laying on their backs) BEES: Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! BARRY: Wait a minute. I think I'm feeling something. VANESSA: - What? BARRY: - I don't know. It's strong, pulling me. : Like a 27-million-year-old instinct. : Bring the nose down. BEES: Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! CONTROL TOWER OPERATOR: - What in the world is on the tarmac? BUD: - Get some lights on that!
(It is revealed that all the bees are organized into a giant pulsating flower formation) BEES: Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! BARRY: - Vanessa, aim for the flower. VANESSA: - OK. BARRY: Out the engines. We're going in on bee power. Ready, boys? LOU LU DUVA: Affirmative! BARRY: Good. Good. Easy, now. That's it. : Land on that flower! : Ready? Full reverse! : Spin it around! (The plane's nose is pointed at a flower painted on a nearby plane) - Not that flower! The other one! VANESSA: - Which one? BARRY: - That flower. (The plane is now pointed at a fat guy in a flowered shirt. He freaks out and tries to take a picture of the plane) VANESSA: - I'm aiming at the flower!
BARRY: That's a fat guy in a flowered shirt. I mean the giant pulsating flower made of millions of bees! (The plane hovers over the bee-flower) : Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up. : Rotate around it. VANESSA: - This is insane, Barry! BARRY: - This's the only way I know how to fly. BUD: Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane flying in an insect-like pattern? (The plane is unrealistically hovering and spinning over the bee-flower) BARRY: Get your nose in there. Don't be afraid. Smell it. Full reverse! : Just drop it. Be a part of it. : Aim for the center! : Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman! : Come on, already. (The bees scatter and the plane safely lands) VANESSA: Barry, we did it! You taught me how to fly!
BARRY: - Yes! (Vanessa is about to high-five Barry) No high-five! VANESSA: - Right. ADAM: Barry, it worked! Did you see the giant flower? BARRY: What giant flower? Where? Of course I saw the flower! That was genius! ADAM: - Thank you. BARRY: - But we're not done yet. : Listen, everyone! : This runway is covered with the last pollen : from the last flowers available anywhere on Earth. : That means this is our last chance. : We're the only ones who make honey, pollinate flowers and dress like this. : If we're gonna survive as a species, this is our moment! What do you say?
: Are we going to be bees, or just Museum of Natural History keychains? BEES: We're bees! BEE WHO LIKES KEYCHAINS: Keychain! BARRY: Then follow me! Except Keychain. POLLEN JOCK #1: Hold on, Barry. Here. : You've earned this. BARRY: Yeah! : I'm a Pollen Jock! And it's a perfect fit. All I gotta do are the sleeves. (The Pollen Jocks throw Barry a nectar-collecting gun. Barry catches it) Oh, yeah. JANET: That's our Barry. (Barry and the Pollen Jocks get pollen from the flowers on the plane) (Flash forward in time and the Pollen Jocks are flying over NYC) : (Barry pollinates the flowers in Vanessa's shop and then heads to Central Park) BOY IN PARK: Mom! The bees are back! ADAM: (Putting on his Krelman hat) If anybody needs
to make a call, now's the time. : I got a feeling we'll be working late tonight! (The bee honey factories are back up and running) (Meanwhile at Vanessa's shop) VANESSA: (To customer) Here's your change. Have a great afternoon! Can I help who's next? : Would you like some honey with that? It is bee-approved. Don't forget these. (There is a room in the shop where Barry does legal work for other animals. He is currently talking with a Cow) COW: Milk, cream, cheese, it's all me. And I don't see a nickel! : Sometimes I just feel like a piece of meat! BARRY: I had no idea. VANESSA: Barry, I'm sorry. Have you got a moment? BARRY: Would you excuse me? My mosquito associate will help you. MOOSEBLOOD: Sorry I'm late. COW: He's a lawyer too?
MOOSEBLOOD: Ma'am, I was already a blood-sucking parasite. All I needed was a briefcase. VANESSA: Have a great afternoon! : Barry, I just got this huge tulip order, and I can't get them anywhere. BARRY: No problem, Vannie. Just leave it to me. VANESSA: You're a lifesaver, Barry. Can I help who's next? BARRY: All right, scramble, jocks! It's time to fly. VANESSA: Thank you, Barry! (Ken walks by on the sidewalk and sees the "bee-approved honey" in Vanessa's shop) KEN: That bee is living my life!! ANDY: Let it go, Kenny. KEN: - When will this nightmare end?! ANDY: - Let it all go. BARRY: - Beautiful day to fly. POLLEN JOCK:
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2023.06.08 22:27 m80mike I Was a Pilot on Strike. This is Why We Went Back to Work.

Summary: A labor dispute coupled with an outbreak of unknown disease pushes all sides to war and a new truth.
I Was a Pilot on Strike. This is Why We Went Back to Work.
I was the second in command activist pilot in the Union based at O'Hare International, the unofficial headquarters of the strike movement. I remember when our strike started to heat up very vividly.
Fred, our Union boss, and Leo, the first in command activist, were sitting in the pilot's lounge, watching the tv coverage flash our picket lines from airports across the country. Something like “what do we want? The Package. When do we want it? Now!”
The Package was the nickname for our list of demands which included more security in the wake of the so-called Body Bombings last year, better pay and benefits, more job security, and perhaps, most controversially, cleaner fuel and fuel efficiency standards for current and future airliners.
The TV chirped up again, “well, folks its the twenty first day of the pilot strike most jets have been grounded now for the last eighteen as the pilots and their associated ground personnel unions have occupied major airports – only major international carriers at the coastal hubs are landing or departing now as we've seen a huge increase in train and car travel as we approach the fourth of july weekend. That's right, and our next top story as we gather for the holiday for first time after the omicron wave, health officials are advising to watch out for symptoms of a new skin...”
Fred hit mute on the remote. Fred was a balding, thick man, with thick arm hair, rolling over his grizzled sun burned flesh like barbed wire.
Leo lit up a cigarette. Leo was short, thin, and young in his looks but old, like faux 50's old in his heart. “There's no smoking in here, Leo,” Fred said sternly.
Leo didn't flinch.
Then Fred broke a smile and chuckled.
“Media bums aren't even interested in what we want anymore.” I said.
“Only these media bums. Follow the money.” Leo mumbled over his cancer stick. “That media group got a lot of money out of the bailout. Probably more than us.”
Fred looked at his watch, “We should probably get going.”
“Make em sweat for once, for Christ sake.” Leo nearly spat out his smoke.
“I'm with Leo on this one, Fred” I said.
So we made the negotiators sweat a little longer.
About an hour later we finally met them at the table. We sat on the left, the various airline owners sat on the right. This was the third time during the last three weeks but now, there was a new guy at the head of the table, a Federal mediator.
The Mediator had black rimmed almost square glasses, thick gray hair, and a blotchy face, “I'm calling this meeting to order. Before I present this offer, I have impress upon both sides how essential it is we start our air travel again soon, both for the holiday but also the good of the country. I am at this time presenting a voluntary compromise – officially, the Federal government supports the pilots' initiative to enhance security in the wake of the last year's incidents and we are prepared to use some of the unspent bailout money to supplement private airliner's initiatives and spending. We are also sympathetic to pilots and ground crews positions on their pay and benefits. The Federal government, however, is not, at this time, interested in imposing nor supporting job security, nor fuel charges nor efficiency standards. I yield to the industry representatives for comment.”
The chief industry rep, Michelson Connery, was a young looking, smooth talking, sleaze bag with jet black hair from New Jersey who had a habit of touching his coke inflamed nose every five minutes or so.
“You know back in Jersey, we're used to being shaken down, as they say. Now we appreciate the nice talk, we appreciate your brass knuckles and tommy guns are firmly tucked away, we appreciate you're giving us a break or too, but a shake down is a shake down none the less. No deal. I yield.”
Fred sat up in his chair, his mouth agape, he cleared his throat while adjusting his microphone, “No deal.” He flopped back into his chair.
“Before we depart,” the Mediator quelled the commotion as both parties began to leave, “As I said the federal government has a strong interest in resuming flights as soon as possible, we are considering using our unique power to impose a settlement on the Union, if necessary.”
Fred lurched forward, “What kind of power? What kind of threat is this?”
“It's no threat.” The Mediator paused, “It's a threat to a threat, if necessary, we will invoke our powers under various emergency statutes to effectively Federalize pilots and ground crews – under those provisions, we would impose work or removal provisions to settle this.”
“That's total bull!” Fred lunged at the Mediator, “You're basically telling us all they have to do is wait it until you force us back to work! And what about the future? These efficiency standards aren't just about hippie dippie environmental stuff, its about fleet upgrades, fleet safety and thus worker and pilot safety!”
“Gentlemen, please, I putting something on the table and it has neither a definite nor indefinite timeline – in the meanwhile, your adversaries are hemorrhaging cash and depreciating their capital and you're folks – especially your ground crew union, are running out savings – I suggest you both, in good faith, consider the current and official Federal position in good time to sort this out sooner than later rather than a threat of a threat become a threat. Good day.”
Within hours, each side called a respective press conference. Industry denounced the compromise set out by the Feds while we denounced their denouncement. Neither side budged and neither side disclosed the Mediator's so called “threat of a threat”. We sat on the picket lines for another week as each side floated various non-serious proposals and misinformation in the media. We found ourselves back in the pilot lounge before our next round of serious negotiations. This time Fred and Leo were both smoking while I had to exhale bad news.
“The ground crew union is gunna crack first, Industry is offering them a side deal and I think they're gunna take it. They go back to work, it's gunna be next to impossible to leverage the whole of the hubs, then the scabs come in, they'll just work around us.” I told Leo and Fred. “Then we maybe we should float lower pay increases for ourselves. Overall, you pay the few pilots a little bit more, you pay the huge ground crew nothing more, that sounds like the win for us and Industry.” Leo pitched back. “Leo, where do we stand on public support?” Fred inquired.
“I don't know.”
“What do you mean you don't know?”
Leo clicked on the TV, “our top story tonight, farm fields across the country are now being seemingly afflicted by some kind of blight resulting in, at in some cases, widespread crop failures as the department of agriculture is mum. Meanwhile, more and more people are reporting severe skin deformations and damage while the CDC has been all but muzzled save for recommending that people stay inside and avoid direct sunlight. At this time there is speculation but no official word the crop blight and the skin disease are connected.” “See, it's all blight this, blight that.”
“So fake,” Fred said, “I've been out in the damn sun all week on the line and I've got nothing. Whatever the damn news wants to keep real progress from being made here. Anyway, I say we stay the course and we firm it up with the ground crews, have some solidarity.”
There was a knock on the door, “heh, maybe this good news.” Fred left his seat to open the door. A neutral representative walked through and announced the Federal Mediator has canceled the session. Leo and I brewed up from our seats to go raise holy hell with Fred at the mediator's delegation when all the television screens in the lounge turned to an Emergency Announcement Service message. Leo fumbled to unmute the television as the seal of the office of the President blasted on all the screens. “My fellow Americans, it is with great dismay that after nearly a month of grounded air travel across these great United States, because of a dispute over many complex issues, I am forced to use the power legislated to the executive branch by various emergency statutes, that I am announcing the immediate federalization of pilots and ground crews. Effective immediately, they will have a forty eight hour cooling off period before I am ordering them, as federal employees, to return to work or be dismissed. Also, their demands for higher pay and better benefits will be met in part by the conditions of Federal employment. I will be going to Congress, in the morning, to seek long term funding for our new national employees to secure their jobs for a long while. Any deviation from this will have significant physical consequences...”
The TV trailed off as representatives from the ground crews burst into the room in a ruckus, “Long term employment my ass! That jackass knows this is a bandaid – there's no way Congress is gunna pay us, in ninety days, we're as good as fired, begging for our old jobs with no retirement and no Unions.” Ground Crew Union Head Reggie Weston flipped off the TV. “I say, we sit on the damn runways after forty eight hours! You're with us, right? Can I get a yes yes?”
“And here we heard you were about to sell us out and now you're all about it huh?” Leo grumbled. “It was nothing like that. I swear. You know how much talk flies.” Reggie looked offended.
“I'm with Reggie, this is unbelievable, just like that our retirement plan, what? Probably gone? We're not employees anymore afterall. Forced to work – basically at gunpoint now. No. No. No.” I said. “Fred?” Leo prodded.
Fred stood there scratching his scalp in dismay and despair then he straightened himself up, took a drag off his smoke, and turned to us, “Tell all folks, we're going to war.”
We were a bit concerned some of the locals might pull off on the eve of the forty eight hour period but when the forty ninth came, they were steadfast and when they fired us, and then the cops came in, we were ready, both in the courts, and on the lines. On day four, ninety six hours after the announcement, the picket lines were more like trenches, and the pilot's lounge a war room. Each airport was a mini Battle of Blair Mountain. I had my arm wrapped up in an ice pack from a rubber bullet ricochet while Leo was still furiously blinking out yesterday's pepper spray. Fred hadn't been back from the riot on the runways.
Rocks, molotov cocktails scorch marks, and burned out tear gas canisters dotted the parking lots and tarmacs. Overturned vending machines, kiosks, and stacked chairs and tables from the food courts barricaded the concourses. A fire started in one of the hangers and it only just now started to burn itself out. They cut the power and we sweltered in that Midwest heat as we quickly discovered how poorly insulating all of the windows actually were. We had a few generators but they were being used to run the CCTV cameras which we connected to some of the TVs in the pilot's lounge so we could see which direction the next charge was coming from and send out warnings.
On the fifth day an injunction had been filed and granted against the entire federalization and the cops withdrew to their side of the no man's land. It wasn't a moment too soon as we the pilots and the ground crews were nearly depleted.
It was early that morning as the leadership started to gather in the pilot's lounge that we got our first of several mortifying discoveries.
Reggie held a flashlight to his bruised face as he announced, “We lost contact with our brothers at LAX and Denver International.”
“How? Why? Did they surrender?”
“I don't know about LAX but I got this out of Denver.” Reggie played a video on his phone. It was poorly lit and unsteady but in the dark of the early morning you could make out the sound and outline of two large transport helicopters. As they hovered for a landing, someone out of the frame shone a large flashlight against the side. The helicopters were civilian in design and bore the shield of a notorious private military contractor – the Blackdogs. Some one else shouts “get ready!” as black tactical troops streamed out of the choppers and the video abruptly ends.
“Oh my god!” I exclaimed, “They're gunna try to Pinkerton us.”
“What about the damn injunction?” Leo stormed.
“It's an injunction on the feds, the cops. These are private operators. I'm assuming that they're bought and paid for by Industry.”
“You think they're gunna kill us?” Leo pondered.
It was then, the for the first time, during all of this, even after taking that rubber bullet, that I felt real fear and real uncertainty about the outcome and justness of all of it. It was the first time I considered blinking. Then it got worse.
There was a commotion at the door as some of the ground crew and pilots pulled in a makeshift stretcher with Fred laying on it.
“Oh my God, what did they do to him?” Leo exclaimed as he came to help pull him into the room. There was too many people around to see Fred clearly, something like a towel was covering most his face and head. Fred could barely speak and was clearly in some kind of distress. My thought was tear gas but none had been fired for hours and usually someone inundated with it start everyone off into similar distress.
The crowd broke as I huddled in, I shown my flashlight around him to see.
“Pull it off, pull it off, they have to see” Fred gasped.
Some of the ground crew members pulled off the towel and I could plainly see Fred's face and head – what was left of it anyway. I staggered back a step.
“It's the Blight, guys, half of the ground crew, they look like this, now!” Fred yelled. “I can't, I can't feel any of it and I can't see!”
His eyes were whited out like he had severe cataracts and his head, most of his face, and arms were encrusted in bulging, asymmetric, blotches, lesions, and black marks of various sizes and textures. It looked like he had been horribly burned.
“Hey, guys!” Reggie barked out over the shock and attempts to help Fred. “Cameras are down!”
“Well when the shit did that happen?” Leo exploded as he buzzed around the jerry rigged monitors hoping to get signal back.
I picked up my radio and asked everyone to report in, the south, east, and west reported but the north was just static.
Leo tried to rally some of the guys helping Frank to head to the north but they and Fred protested saying there weren't enough guys without the Blight to go stop a push if there was one. Everyone was silent just a moment and in that moment we heard the sound of some thirty guns cocking just outside of the pilot's lounge door.
“Fred Little, Leo Jones, and Mark Debs, step out of the lounge slowly and peacefully, we wish to negotiate the end of this.”
“Fred is incapacitated,” I yelled back with a dry mouth, “Reggie Weston of the Ground Crew Union, Leo and I stepping down. Don't shoot.” I said sheepishly.
Leo and Reggie looked to me to push open the door as I did I was immediately blinded by the tactical lights of some twenty or so submachine guns.
The same voice came again, “keep stepping through the lights, that's it, nice and slow, no one is going to hurt you. I just want to talk and show you something.”
Leo and I made it past the lights into a glare lit spot of the terminal where the commander of this platoon of Blackdogs with his two personal retinue stood with their helmets off, “I'm commander Don Doughty. I'm here on behalf of country and I would like to share something with you.”
“Commander, with all due respect, there's an injunction in place.”
“I know, that's why this is a private operation, not a military or police one.”
“Look, we don't have to go with you.”
“Look, you do. Now I'm going to level with both of you. We stormed the other airports today, you probably heard, a lot of my company men are hurt, a few near death, but we know you're not holding out. We know most of you have the Blight now and that's why we're here.”
“Why you're here, huh? No dedicated medical personnel, no biohazard suits? Kind of strange for what you're saying is a mission of medical mercy for a disease of unknown origin?” Leo perked up.
“It's not unknown. In fact, it's one of the most common diseases around. What is still unknown is if I have to drag you to what I want to show you or if you'll come willingly.”
Leo and I looked at each other and then back at Don. He was disarming and rational, something I hardly expected but he also had our number and between the Blight and the willingness of the government to now literally put guns to our heads to go back to work, I had so many questions and he was offering the answers. Leo and I went willing. We stepped out of the terminal and took a motorized cart to the fuel hangers as Don requested.
On the cart, Don started to open up, “Leo, Mark, tell me what you know about chemtrails.”
Leo scoffed while I replied, “chemtrails, yeah, I've some whacko come up to me in a few bars shouting in my ear about how as a pilot I am unwittingly spraying geo-engineering materials to change the Earth or make global warming real or spreading COVID or nerve gas in contrails. The kookiness seems to change by season. Why?”
“Next question. Do either of you know what CFC's are?”
Leo piped up, “Chloroflorocarbons, I think. They used to be used in fridges and spray cans before they were banned in the 80's – virtually globally because they were screwing up the ozone layer.”
We arrived at the hanger where the fuel was stored. Another small group of Blackdog troopers had one of the ground crew members in detention near the partially open sliding door. His badge was gone but I recognized the ground crew member as part of the fuel truck lead team.
“What does this have to do with anything?” I asked. As we all were led into the hanger where the fuel trucks were stored.
Don, out of no where saluted the fuel truck leader. To my astonishment, the fuel truck leader saluted back. They shared a “semper fi – once a marine – always a marine!” and then Don beckoned him, “show them, it's okay, show them what you know, show them what you do.”
The fuel trucker turn a spigot on the back of the fuel truck nearest to him and splashed some jet fuel from the truck on the hanger floor and then shone a UV flashlight on it and the truck without any change. He muttered out, “Ordinary jet fuel.” Then, turning to the truck adjacent to him, he shone the same uv light and there was a square code marking that appeared on the back of the truck. He turned the spigot on that truck, splashed out a bit of the fuel and then shone the light on it. The fuel reflected back a dazzling brilliant display of glow as it flowed across the concrete. “Not so ordinary jet fuel.”
“Now you see gentlemen, for the past fifty years or so, we've known that CFCs were impacting the ozone layer and created a hole, you were told, like everyone else, that the hole was healing and mostly fixed after we banned CFC's and other substances. Well, in truth, that's only partially correct, its healing or mostly fixed because we fixed it, or more accurately, because the great people who work in the sky and ground, by sheer volume of air travel across the world, had been burning this modified fuel, depositing its unique chemical composition into the atmosphere at altitude to keep that ozone hole closed or at least as protective as possible. Without it, well, look at your boss, look at the fields of crops failing across the country, look at the hospitals around the country filling up with ionizing radiation burn and cancer victims. Without you, there's holes in the ozone breaking open all over the North American continent.”
“We really have been spraying chemtrails this whole time.” Reggie murmured.
“Now, let me explain to you how this is going to work – as we speak, other Blackdogs, funded by the Federal government, are infiltrating every airport in the country and showing the rest of your leadership the same thing you just saw. We're also showing this to Industry. We're getting you the Mediator's deal. You'll have your old jobs back, and while a handful of you will go to jail for the rioting, none of you will be convicted of felonies or serve time. That's the deal. All you have to say is yes and tell everyone to go back to work now and then, with you all back in the air and back on the ground, the Blight will end.
In the end we went back to work, we took the deal. If you can call it a deal. It wasn't a deal but essentially a reboot with a cost of living increase. The other option was that some of us would be imprisoned, fined, be out of a job and oh yes, Leo, Reggie, and I shot on spot.
We were sworn to secrecy over the truth about the ozone layer and chemtrails but I'm breaking it. I'm breaking it because you deserve the truth. I know that this will end up in the internet gutter realm of aliens and bigfoot but I don't care. I'm big guy, a big name, and if anything happens to me, like an “accident”, I'm pretty sure that would only lend credence to what I've told you here.
Happy landings.
Theo Plesha
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