Hate this town trey lewis
Lewis County Washington
2011.07.16 20:47 ExtraNoise Lewis County Washington
Welcome to LewisCounty, the subreddit for Lewis County, WA! Share a link, talk about local politics, or gossip about something happening in town.
2020.08.03 20:33 RyanDoherty1995 Metuchenhate
This sub is for people who hate the town of Metuchen, NJ. Metuchen has stained the great state of New Jersey for too long. It should be removed from the face of the earth.
2014.11.16 08:50 imraan17 Kapiri Mposhi
A small rural town located in the central province in Zambia.
2023.06.10 13:12 StardustNLavender Breath
Momentum. I've awoken entirely too early. Not uncommon for days like today. Nerves I guess.
As I sit here silently trying to not cry while dropping my tuning to Benjamin Burnley's ungodly levels of loose. I'm still processing that kiss a month ago.
I can't tell if I'm more vexxed that you took it knowing my hard line. Or because of the falling out a week later.
It was unfair you jerk. I did the right things to try and protect my heart and you took it anyway. Now before you say "it's just a kiss."
No. If you see it from my side. It wasn't.
Every nerve in my body. Every sense was heightened ten fold already in your presence. You did your job well in the weeks leading up to our meeting.
So when you grabbed me and forced our lips to meet it was like every star was falling from the sky at once.
Beautiful. Tragic. Destructive.
Your stubble rough against my soft skin, mouths parted for hot tongues to wrestle in eagerness. Exploring this new territory. Our territory. Your hands in my hair, mine on your chest. Your grip tightens, and as we come up for air, our eyes met. Brown and grey pools of desire clashing together. We're too close. It's too warm. I want more. I don't want it. I hate myself for being so weak. Why didn't I get out of the car right then?
Without saying a word, there was so much more
You knew you could've had the more too. Without even trying. That's why this is eating away at me. My hard line wasn't a common one...no. It was there though. It was the first thing you did, you crossed it.
It doesn't make sense why you would do that and a week later things went the way they did. I want to believe you were genuine. It gets harder and harder to convince myself with each passing day that you weren't just a "nice guy" in wolf's clothing. I hate that this will be the memory I have of you.
That kiss, wasn't yours too claim. You have it now though, surrounded by your indifference. What will you do with it now?
Was it worth it?
submitted by StardustNLavender to UnsentLetters [link] [comments]
As I sit here silently trying to not cry while dropping my tuning to Benjamin Burnley's ungodly levels of loose. I'm still processing that kiss a month ago.
I can't tell if I'm more vexxed that you took it knowing my hard line. Or because of the falling out a week later.
It was unfair you jerk. I did the right things to try and protect my heart and you took it anyway. Now before you say "it's just a kiss."
No. If you see it from my side. It wasn't.
Every nerve in my body. Every sense was heightened ten fold already in your presence. You did your job well in the weeks leading up to our meeting.
So when you grabbed me and forced our lips to meet it was like every star was falling from the sky at once.
Beautiful. Tragic. Destructive.
Your stubble rough against my soft skin, mouths parted for hot tongues to wrestle in eagerness. Exploring this new territory. Our territory. Your hands in my hair, mine on your chest. Your grip tightens, and as we come up for air, our eyes met. Brown and grey pools of desire clashing together. We're too close. It's too warm. I want more. I don't want it. I hate myself for being so weak. Why didn't I get out of the car right then?
Without saying a word, there was so much more
You knew you could've had the more too. Without even trying. That's why this is eating away at me. My hard line wasn't a common one...no. It was there though. It was the first thing you did, you crossed it.
It doesn't make sense why you would do that and a week later things went the way they did. I want to believe you were genuine. It gets harder and harder to convince myself with each passing day that you weren't just a "nice guy" in wolf's clothing. I hate that this will be the memory I have of you.
That kiss, wasn't yours too claim. You have it now though, surrounded by your indifference. What will you do with it now?
Was it worth it?
2023.06.10 13:12 Realistic_Lychee3458 I have no idea what this stupid anime is but I wanted to say something
My big sister is a lot older then me. She used to watch this anime and she liked it. When I was like 7 or 8 she bought a bunch of girly cosplay of some red school dress and stuff and made me wear it for fun even though I'm a boy. She even did my makeup and painted my nails and said I would thank her for it in the future. I still hate her a lot. I never speak to her now. She told me to watch this anime. Is it for boys too?
submitted by Realistic_Lychee3458 to Kakegurui [link] [comments]
2023.06.10 13:12 Alliejam1 ACIM WORKBOOK LESSON 161
LESSON 161. Give me your blessing, holy Son of God.
Today we practice differently, and take a stand against our anger, that our fears may disappear and offer room to love. Here is salvation in the simple words in which we practice with today’s idea. Here is the answer to temptation which can never fail to welcome in the Christ where fear and anger had prevailed before. Here is Atonement made complete, the world passed safely by and Heaven now restored. Here is the answer of the Voice for God. Complete abstraction is the natural condition of the mind. But part of it is now unnatural. It does not look on everything as one. It sees instead but fragments of the whole, for only thus could it invent the partial world you see. The purpose of all seeing is to show you what you wish to see. All hearing but brings to your mind the sounds it wants to hear.
Thus were specifics made. And now it is specifics we must use in practicing. We give them to the Holy Spirit, that He may employ them for a purpose which is different from the one we gave to them. Yet He can use but what we made, to teach us from a different point of view, so we can see a different use in everything.
One brother is all brothers. Every mind contains all minds, for every mind is one. Such is the truth. Yet do these thoughts make clear the meaning of creation? Do these words bring perfect clarity with them to you? What can they seem to be but empty sounds; pretty, perhaps, correct in sentiment, yet fundamentally not understood nor understandable. The mind that taught itself to think specifically can no longer grasp abstraction in the sense that it is all-encompassing. We need to see a little, that we learn a lot.
It seems to be the body that we feel limits our freedom, makes us suffer, and at last puts out our life. Yet bodies are but symbols for a concrete form of fear. Fear without symbols calls for no response, for symbols can stand for the meaningless. Love needs no symbols, being true. But fear attaches to specifics, being false.
Bodies attack, but minds do not. This thought is surely reminiscent of our text, where it is often emphasized. This is the reason bodies easily become fear’s symbols. You have many times been urged to look beyond the body, for its sight presents the symbol of love’s “enemy” Christ’s vision does not see. The body is the target for attack, for no one thinks he hates a mind. Yet what but mind directs the body to attack? What else could be the seat of fear except what thinks of fear?
Hate is specific. There must be a thing to be attacked. An enemy must be perceived in such a form he can be touched and seen and heard, and ultimately killed. When hatred rests upon a thing, it calls for death as surely as God’s Voice proclaims there is no death. Fear is insatiable, consuming everything its eyes behold, seeing itself in everything, compelled to turn upon itself and to destroy.
Who sees a brother as a body sees him as fear’s symbol. And he will attack, because what he beholds is his own fear external to himself, poised to attack, and howling to unite with him again. Mistake not the intensity of rage projected fear must spawn. It shrieks in wrath, and claws the air in frantic hope it can reach to its maker and devour him.
This do the body’s eyes behold in one whom Heaven cherishes, the angels love and God created perfect. This is his reality. And in Christ’s vision is his loveliness reflected in a form so holy and so beautiful that you could scarce refrain from kneeling at his feet. Yet you will take his hand instead, for you are like him in the sight that sees him thus. Attack on him is enemy to you, for you will not perceive that in his hands is your salvation. Ask him but for this, and he will give it to you. Ask him not to symbolize your fear. Would you request that love destroy itself? Or would you have it be revealed to you and set you free?
Today we practice in a form we have attempted earlier. Your readiness is closer now, and you will come today nearer Christ’s vision. If you are intent on reaching it, you will succeed today. And once you have succeeded, you will not be willing to accept the witnesses your body’s eyes call forth. What you will see will sing to you of ancient melodies you will remember. You are not forgot in Heaven. Would you not remember it?
Select one brother, symbol of the rest, and ask salvation of him. See him first as clearly as you can, in that same form to which you are accustomed. See his face, his hands and feet, his clothing. Watch him smile, and see familiar gestures which he makes so frequently. Then think of this: What you are seeing now conceals from you the sight of one who can forgive you all your sins; whose sacred hands can take away the nails which pierce your own, and lift the crown of thorns which you have placed upon your bleeding head. Ask this of him, that he may set you free:
Give me your blessing, holy Son of God. I would behold you with the eyes of Christ, and see my perfect sinlessness in you.
And He will answer Whom you called upon. For He will hear the Voice for God in you, and answer in your own. Behold him now, whom you have seen as merely flesh and bone, and recognize that Christ has come to you. Today’s idea is your safe escape from anger and from fear. Be sure you use it instantly, should you be tempted to attack a brother and perceive in him the symbol of your fear. And you will see him suddenly transformed from enemy to savior; from the devil into Christ.
submitted by Alliejam1 to ACIM [link] [comments]
Today we practice differently, and take a stand against our anger, that our fears may disappear and offer room to love. Here is salvation in the simple words in which we practice with today’s idea. Here is the answer to temptation which can never fail to welcome in the Christ where fear and anger had prevailed before. Here is Atonement made complete, the world passed safely by and Heaven now restored. Here is the answer of the Voice for God. Complete abstraction is the natural condition of the mind. But part of it is now unnatural. It does not look on everything as one. It sees instead but fragments of the whole, for only thus could it invent the partial world you see. The purpose of all seeing is to show you what you wish to see. All hearing but brings to your mind the sounds it wants to hear.
Thus were specifics made. And now it is specifics we must use in practicing. We give them to the Holy Spirit, that He may employ them for a purpose which is different from the one we gave to them. Yet He can use but what we made, to teach us from a different point of view, so we can see a different use in everything.
One brother is all brothers. Every mind contains all minds, for every mind is one. Such is the truth. Yet do these thoughts make clear the meaning of creation? Do these words bring perfect clarity with them to you? What can they seem to be but empty sounds; pretty, perhaps, correct in sentiment, yet fundamentally not understood nor understandable. The mind that taught itself to think specifically can no longer grasp abstraction in the sense that it is all-encompassing. We need to see a little, that we learn a lot.
It seems to be the body that we feel limits our freedom, makes us suffer, and at last puts out our life. Yet bodies are but symbols for a concrete form of fear. Fear without symbols calls for no response, for symbols can stand for the meaningless. Love needs no symbols, being true. But fear attaches to specifics, being false.
Bodies attack, but minds do not. This thought is surely reminiscent of our text, where it is often emphasized. This is the reason bodies easily become fear’s symbols. You have many times been urged to look beyond the body, for its sight presents the symbol of love’s “enemy” Christ’s vision does not see. The body is the target for attack, for no one thinks he hates a mind. Yet what but mind directs the body to attack? What else could be the seat of fear except what thinks of fear?
Hate is specific. There must be a thing to be attacked. An enemy must be perceived in such a form he can be touched and seen and heard, and ultimately killed. When hatred rests upon a thing, it calls for death as surely as God’s Voice proclaims there is no death. Fear is insatiable, consuming everything its eyes behold, seeing itself in everything, compelled to turn upon itself and to destroy.
Who sees a brother as a body sees him as fear’s symbol. And he will attack, because what he beholds is his own fear external to himself, poised to attack, and howling to unite with him again. Mistake not the intensity of rage projected fear must spawn. It shrieks in wrath, and claws the air in frantic hope it can reach to its maker and devour him.
This do the body’s eyes behold in one whom Heaven cherishes, the angels love and God created perfect. This is his reality. And in Christ’s vision is his loveliness reflected in a form so holy and so beautiful that you could scarce refrain from kneeling at his feet. Yet you will take his hand instead, for you are like him in the sight that sees him thus. Attack on him is enemy to you, for you will not perceive that in his hands is your salvation. Ask him but for this, and he will give it to you. Ask him not to symbolize your fear. Would you request that love destroy itself? Or would you have it be revealed to you and set you free?
Today we practice in a form we have attempted earlier. Your readiness is closer now, and you will come today nearer Christ’s vision. If you are intent on reaching it, you will succeed today. And once you have succeeded, you will not be willing to accept the witnesses your body’s eyes call forth. What you will see will sing to you of ancient melodies you will remember. You are not forgot in Heaven. Would you not remember it?
Select one brother, symbol of the rest, and ask salvation of him. See him first as clearly as you can, in that same form to which you are accustomed. See his face, his hands and feet, his clothing. Watch him smile, and see familiar gestures which he makes so frequently. Then think of this: What you are seeing now conceals from you the sight of one who can forgive you all your sins; whose sacred hands can take away the nails which pierce your own, and lift the crown of thorns which you have placed upon your bleeding head. Ask this of him, that he may set you free:
Give me your blessing, holy Son of God. I would behold you with the eyes of Christ, and see my perfect sinlessness in you.
And He will answer Whom you called upon. For He will hear the Voice for God in you, and answer in your own. Behold him now, whom you have seen as merely flesh and bone, and recognize that Christ has come to you. Today’s idea is your safe escape from anger and from fear. Be sure you use it instantly, should you be tempted to attack a brother and perceive in him the symbol of your fear. And you will see him suddenly transformed from enemy to savior; from the devil into Christ.
2023.06.10 13:12 Disastrous-Lab-9474 What can I add to this makeup look for what I believe to be ethereal+ingenue essence? I want to emphasise the ethereal.
 | I could be wrong but I seem to have landed on ethereal/ingenue for my essence! I included a picture of me without makeup on that second slide for reference. Sorry that my first picture does not have my hair out my face although there isn't much there, other than some highlighter. submitted by Disastrous-Lab-9474 to DressForYourBody [link] [comments] What I am wearing: Small amount of concealer on dark circles, concealed acne spots and redness around my nose without the concealer bleeding to other areas, subtle blush on cheekbones, nothing on eyes (I've found nothing so far that doesn't look strange on my eyes), lip tint, and white pagan markings on nose and chin. I understand the photo isn't the best so if you can't work with it at all or need more info, just advise on how I can get an ethereal look from my second photo! Whenever I have done full makeup, either my face looks too busy or I look far too young because of the ingenue. My ingenue is easily over emphasised by working naturally with my features, I'm guessing because they're already ingenue, so emphasising them is just making it more intense. I don't mind being Ingenue, but much more intense than this and I begin to look very belle delphine and I don't like it. I really want to emphasise ethereal instead, especially because I feel like it suits me more as a person than looking like a little girl. No hate tho! Just my preference. |
2023.06.10 13:12 ItsCoachRee Sleep paralysis getting weird - please help
It’s 6:42 am right now and I’m just coming out of a sleep paralysis episode.
It’s the second time this has happened in the past few days and they are becoming much more intense and almost dream/nightmare like.
I’m 25 y/o male. For the most part I’m healthy and athletic I exercise regularly. I go on hikes, lift weights, run and practice some martial arts. 6’2 190lbs. No health problems.
Ive always had issues with sleep paralysis, (that feeling like someone is watching you while you’re sleeping but you can’t wake up). I’ve found that it mostly happens when I sleep on my back.
It’s been weird recently though.
For the second day in a row, the sleep paralysis literally felt like I was dying. I was awake and semi-conscious, but I was unable to fully wake up or move my body.
I thought that I was moving my arm but I wasn’t, and It felt like blood was rushing into my eyes fron my peripheral like my body was going into overdrive or something trying to keep myself alive. I know that my eyes are open because I can see the patterns of the curtains in my bedroom.
It’s how I imagine flatlining in a hospital feels or if I was helplessly asleep in a plane that was rapidly descending into a crash.
During these episodes I can’t tell if my heart is racing or slowing down to the point of not beating. My body was at peace but my mind was in total chaos, as if an office emergency had just broken out and everyone (in my head) was scrambling to survive and gather their belongings.
My girl tells me to pray when this happens but it’s not something that I’m thinking about because my body feels in a state of panic and peace at the same time.
I wake up and everything is fine, but I wake up kind of scared and in this weird state of being alive even though just moments ago I was accepting my own death.
I thought about my family and friends while I was “under”. It was like my life was flashing before my eyes. I wish I was romanticizing this but I’m trying to be as descriptive as possible.
I’ve gone to the doctor about this because it happens pretty commonly to me and they say it’s just stress, but this feels like more than the sleep paralysis I used to get.
Does anyone else have this issue?
Does anyone have some medical or esoteric advice to help me out?
I’m not a man who is easily frightened and I don’t mean to be whiny but this sometimes makes me afraid to go to sleep because I hate the feeling so much.
submitted by ItsCoachRee to Sleepparalysis [link] [comments]
It’s the second time this has happened in the past few days and they are becoming much more intense and almost dream/nightmare like.
I’m 25 y/o male. For the most part I’m healthy and athletic I exercise regularly. I go on hikes, lift weights, run and practice some martial arts. 6’2 190lbs. No health problems.
Ive always had issues with sleep paralysis, (that feeling like someone is watching you while you’re sleeping but you can’t wake up). I’ve found that it mostly happens when I sleep on my back.
It’s been weird recently though.
For the second day in a row, the sleep paralysis literally felt like I was dying. I was awake and semi-conscious, but I was unable to fully wake up or move my body.
I thought that I was moving my arm but I wasn’t, and It felt like blood was rushing into my eyes fron my peripheral like my body was going into overdrive or something trying to keep myself alive. I know that my eyes are open because I can see the patterns of the curtains in my bedroom.
It’s how I imagine flatlining in a hospital feels or if I was helplessly asleep in a plane that was rapidly descending into a crash.
During these episodes I can’t tell if my heart is racing or slowing down to the point of not beating. My body was at peace but my mind was in total chaos, as if an office emergency had just broken out and everyone (in my head) was scrambling to survive and gather their belongings.
My girl tells me to pray when this happens but it’s not something that I’m thinking about because my body feels in a state of panic and peace at the same time.
I wake up and everything is fine, but I wake up kind of scared and in this weird state of being alive even though just moments ago I was accepting my own death.
I thought about my family and friends while I was “under”. It was like my life was flashing before my eyes. I wish I was romanticizing this but I’m trying to be as descriptive as possible.
I’ve gone to the doctor about this because it happens pretty commonly to me and they say it’s just stress, but this feels like more than the sleep paralysis I used to get.
Does anyone else have this issue?
Does anyone have some medical or esoteric advice to help me out?
I’m not a man who is easily frightened and I don’t mean to be whiny but this sometimes makes me afraid to go to sleep because I hate the feeling so much.
2023.06.10 13:10 Roostersnuggets 2 separate reoccurring dreams (years apart, with incredibly long back story)
I used to be in the army a few years back. At that time I fell in love with this one girl (added details; she was a midget 3'8") we were together for a few years, and since I took her with me everywhere, my friends got to know her pretty well, and she was adapted into my friends group (local friends group from the town outside the base I was stationed at). After a couple years, I went on rotation to Korea for a span of 9 months. Not long after I got there, one of my friends (head of security at a local bar) called me saying he saw her leave with another guy. I called her right after the call from my friend, and she sent me to voice-mail. I called my buddy back up and told him "call me next time it happens" (over the span of 9 months, I got a total of 17 calls from him on the subject. All were different guys she left with). After the second call, it hit me pretty hard, and I resorted to drinking. After a while, I started getting this dream; I end up on this dark empty dock, the wood beneath my feet are rotted and soaked, but still holding me up. Behind me, is a rocky cliff face. 3 beautiful women appear floating in front of me, all naked and absolutely stunning. One had beautiful curly red hair, her face looked like the girl I first loved in middle school (context, I still know her, so it was the adult version of her face, not tje underage. She's still stunning) the second, a brunette haired girl, looked just tike my high-school sweetheart (we broke it off after I joined, she has kids now) and the third, beautiful curly blonde hair, stunning face and body, but I've never met her before. In sync these girls would say "choose your path, and seal your fate" I look to my left, the dock is destroyed, nothing but the harsh, dark water below. Behind me, once again, the dock is broken, with the dark rushing water slapping over the side. But to my right, is a long dark walk over the harsh waves from the sea water below. So I start walking. I had this dream every week for quite a while, each time walking farther down this dock. The farther I walked the more at peace I felt, the water would go from splashing over the dock to lightly slapping the bottom of the dock. The air would cool, and the feeling of stress would slowly disappear. After a while, I'd start seeing lights in the distance, towards the middle of the ocean. Another few weeks of calmer waters and long walks, all starting from the same point, and the walks getting longer each time, I finally arrived at the lights. It was a large opening to a carnival, a far away carnival from land, bit the wood was fresh, and it had ropes for a long queue, except I was the only one there. It was empty. I followed the queue, to the ticket window and got my ticket. I woke up, wondered what was going on in my head, and realizing what felt like hours in my dream, was actually 30 mins. The next week, I continue my journey except when I start over, I have tje ticket in my pocket, and make the long peaceful walk on the dock to the carnival. I walk through the queue, and step up onto a platform that has rotary gates (the bars that spin) then I step down on the platform. I saw rides like the zipper, the sizzler, the spacetron 9000, tilt-a-whirls, etc. Bit for some reason, the ferris wheel stuck out to me. Id wake up again and wonder why I'm dreaming of a carnival. The final night I had this dream, I once again make the journey, ticket in hand. Make it to the carnival and walk towards the ferris wheel. The closer I got, the sounds of all the moving rides and carnival music disappeared, until the only sound I could hear was Mt feet hitting the deck. The ferris wheel comes to a stop, and the 3 beautiful women manifest just to my left, within view, but not blocking off the ferris wheel. Once again, in sync, they say "choose your path, and seal your fate." Then my head floods with different voices saying "touch the wheel" over and over again. So I reach out and touch it. But before I can feel my finger touch the wheel. I jumped awake, shaking, and gasping for air, and scared out of my mind. I could never decipher it. Now I'm out of the army, but I'm having a different reoccuring dream, once again, once a week. I'm driving home in my truck from what I'd assume is a long day at work. I make it home, except it isn't my actual home, but I can't picture what 'home' looks like in thus dream, just the feeling of "I'm home" I walk through the door, it's just me, but I feel the excitement of somebody, or something, waiting to see me. As I'm walking through my "home" i see my possessions. (My rug, my PC, my truck was shown earlier, and my clothes) I noticed it's the possessions I love the most. But I can't shake the happy feeling of coming home to somebody, or something else there waiting for me. I get to a point after walking around that I round a corner, feeling happy as ever, but before I can see what's around said corner, my eyelids open, just to reveal its my place, but nothing I Gere except for the possessions I mentioned. And I feel sad, much more than normal (I'm normally a pretty happy person) and I can't fall back asleep. I can't figure out why I have (or had) these dreams, and I feel I need help figuring it out. That's why I came here, I can't afford a professional, I only make $13 an hour. If you read all the way through, your feedback would be appreciated. Thanks for reading.
TL;DR: 2 different reoccuring dreams, can't figure it out
submitted by Roostersnuggets to therapy [link] [comments]
TL;DR: 2 different reoccuring dreams, can't figure it out
2023.06.10 13:10 Select_Cheetah_9549 Peaceful Sitting Buddha
 | During my travels to San Francisco I spotted this beautiful Buddha in a China Town store. submitted by Select_Cheetah_9549 to BuddhistStatues [link] [comments] |
2023.06.10 13:09 AbriiDoniger Entitled Tourist
When you live in Canada, in a city that’s close to the border and known for something that will attract tourists, you see some interesting characters.
EG: I lived in a “city” called Stratford in the province of Ontario, for about 3 years. It’s a tourist town that depends on the summer theatre festival for many summer jobs. The Stratford Festival does attract a fair number of tourists, and some surprisingly big name actors have been in some of the plays put on at the theatres.
This story was told to me a good 22 years ago…
Enter stupid U.S. tourist who makes a scene at the bank, all because he got Canadian money when he used his ATM card in one of the machines. I heard that he raged at the poor bank employee, shouting “I put my AMERICAN bank card into that machine, I should get AMERICAN money!”
submitted by AbriiDoniger to EntitledPeople [link] [comments]
EG: I lived in a “city” called Stratford in the province of Ontario, for about 3 years. It’s a tourist town that depends on the summer theatre festival for many summer jobs. The Stratford Festival does attract a fair number of tourists, and some surprisingly big name actors have been in some of the plays put on at the theatres.
This story was told to me a good 22 years ago…
Enter stupid U.S. tourist who makes a scene at the bank, all because he got Canadian money when he used his ATM card in one of the machines. I heard that he raged at the poor bank employee, shouting “I put my AMERICAN bank card into that machine, I should get AMERICAN money!”
2023.06.10 13:09 happyjazzycook Taken from the Ices Ferry Bridge across Cheat Lake-- scalping of the mountainside.
 | This is such a disfigurement, and someone told me that the developer is putting in 4 houses for all of that land clearing. I just hate what this lake has become in the last 20 years since we discovered it. submitted by happyjazzycook to MorgantownWV [link] [comments] |
2023.06.10 13:09 ithinktoomuchhelp Ex boyfriend told me I was average looking and it made BDD worse
This was first posted in BDD but removed as it was more of a vent.
So I dated this guy who had doubts throughout our relationship, and at some point he told me he was scared that he wasn't really attracted to me, told me I was far from ugly but average looking and he didn't know if it was because of his past porn addiction, or if its just that he fantasized about dating a model. Well he has apologized a lot to me about this, saying that it was certainly his anxiety talking (he was someone who had a real anxiety about cheating). We broke up because he still had doubts (apparently not only about my looks but other things) and I was all the time stressed out after all of this, so the relationship became too much for both of us. But now my self esteem is crushed, and I have thoughts like "If I was a pretty girl things would have been different", etc. Like I know that I'm not conventionally attractive, I've been a bit bullied in high school and some people already told me I was indeed ugly. But well I thought that this guy would accept as I am, and at the beginning he even complimented me a lot, so really I have been overthinking a lot about my appearance lately and I feel like shit looking in the mirror, or taking photos. I feel like I just hate myself.
(sorry if I made grammar mistakes, english isn't my first language)
submitted by ithinktoomuchhelp to BDDvent [link] [comments]
So I dated this guy who had doubts throughout our relationship, and at some point he told me he was scared that he wasn't really attracted to me, told me I was far from ugly but average looking and he didn't know if it was because of his past porn addiction, or if its just that he fantasized about dating a model. Well he has apologized a lot to me about this, saying that it was certainly his anxiety talking (he was someone who had a real anxiety about cheating). We broke up because he still had doubts (apparently not only about my looks but other things) and I was all the time stressed out after all of this, so the relationship became too much for both of us. But now my self esteem is crushed, and I have thoughts like "If I was a pretty girl things would have been different", etc. Like I know that I'm not conventionally attractive, I've been a bit bullied in high school and some people already told me I was indeed ugly. But well I thought that this guy would accept as I am, and at the beginning he even complimented me a lot, so really I have been overthinking a lot about my appearance lately and I feel like shit looking in the mirror, or taking photos. I feel like I just hate myself.
(sorry if I made grammar mistakes, english isn't my first language)
2023.06.10 13:08 Femmeboy_fatale_UwU Not the twitch 🏡 of phobia 😭😭😭 hopefully this won’t happen to my Val acc as well
 | submitted by Femmeboy_fatale_UwU to queensofleague [link] [comments] |
2023.06.10 13:07 sadsealmother I miss my person and life seems pointless. I'm too attached and I hate it
We're good friends but it's been difficult especially since we hooked up last weekend (lol). So I've asked for some more space to sort my head out
I feel like an empty shell of myself again. I don't want to go out and do anything despite the lovely weather, so subsequently I dont sleep well. Cant focus on uni work again...
I had just gotten to the point where messaging him didn't make me feel like I wanted to kms, and we were going to start hanging out again and it felt like the friendship was getting back on track. 3 whole months of hard work has been derailed by one stupid weekend.
He initiated the first cuddle (which he shouldn't have done) but then after that we mutually agreed to just enjoy spending that time together. Why am I so stupid. I can't say no to him, he's like a drug and I hate feeling like this. Love is horrible, I don't want to feel controlled by it
submitted by sadsealmother to BreakUps [link] [comments]
I feel like an empty shell of myself again. I don't want to go out and do anything despite the lovely weather, so subsequently I dont sleep well. Cant focus on uni work again...
I had just gotten to the point where messaging him didn't make me feel like I wanted to kms, and we were going to start hanging out again and it felt like the friendship was getting back on track. 3 whole months of hard work has been derailed by one stupid weekend.
He initiated the first cuddle (which he shouldn't have done) but then after that we mutually agreed to just enjoy spending that time together. Why am I so stupid. I can't say no to him, he's like a drug and I hate feeling like this. Love is horrible, I don't want to feel controlled by it
2023.06.10 13:05 Mountain_Anteater_45 Brooke is fighting for her life in these YouTube comments
 | The comments on the Matt episode are being soo OD and giving so much hate to Brooke. I feel so bad. I really feel like this was such a good episode and the comments are dismissive as helll submitted by Mountain_Anteater_45 to canceledpod [link] [comments] |
2023.06.10 13:05 baltimore-aureole Economics 102 – Do the most expensive political campaigns give us the best government?
 | submitted by baltimore-aureole to economy [link] [comments] https://preview.redd.it/1petmwnb965b1.jpg?width=299&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e971d3d7d65fd50d3a09868cb3f16ba68a7dbd7a Photo Above - worlds most expensive film ($500 million) "Jurassic World - Fallen Kingdom". Not shown - the politician who spent double that - $1 billion - to become a first term senator. Most expensive ever: 2020 election cost $14.4 billion • OpenSecrets Is there a correlation between how much money politicians spend to get elected, and how well congress governs? Okay . . . everyone's hand shot up. Even the kid in the back row who only reads the headlines in this forum. Everyone is shouting “Nooo, Miss Landers . . . this isn't ANY relationship at all between the amount of money spent in a campaign, and how good a senator is . . ” That would have been evident to every cynic. Sorry for even asking. Now here's a better question: “Is there any relationship between how much is spent on political campaigns, and the growth of the US national debt?” Don't overthink this - it's an easy question, too. Why else would I even be trolling people? (See link at top for details on the most expensive campaigns) It's no secret the national debt has skyrocketed since the Bill Clinton presidency. And even during Bill's administration, it only went down for a year or two. Most years President Clinton also got stuck with budget deficits. Although not as outrageous as Biden, Trump, Obama . . . So, if someone tells you that 2020 was the most expensive election in US history, that probably comes as no surprise, right? How about if you hear that it was TWICE AS EXPENSIVE as 2016? And that 2016 was more than 2012? And 2012 beat 2008?. And not by just a little. We're talking billions here. If you go back decades before 2008 someone could probably find an exception to this trend. Go look, if you're that kind of person. It won't change my point: ridiculous $14+ Billion political election cycles are both a symptom and a cause of runaway federal budgets. Senators and House members are ENABLED and ENCOURAGED to vote for out of control budgets, by the huge sums they spent to get elected. What's a $2 trillion budget shortfall this year when your senate seat costs $1 Billion? Half of you are laughing, and the other are half gasping in disbelief. But yes - nearly $1 Billion was spent in the 2020 Georgia senate race. And no . . those contributions did NOT come from ordinary citizens living in nice towns like Savannah, Athens, and Marietta. The $1 Billion of course came from OUT OF STATE INTERESTS. Contributions to both candidates. Not due to concern that Georgia should have quality representation in congress. This money was unleashed because a few special interest groups were paying VERY close attention to how a single senate seat flipping left or right could affect them. If some special interest group's entire survival is tied to pandemic era stimulus, or picking winners and losers in the energy industry, or “guns”, wouldn't they be incented to pull out all the stops when making political contributions? In a laid back southern state people elsewhere usually don't give two “grits” about? It wasn't just Georgia. This also happened in North Carolina. South Carolina, Iowa, Arizona, . . .Maine. Yikes - nooo . . . not poor little Maine! Each of those senate races cost well more than $200 million. Maine had less than 1 million votes cast - way less. That's about $300 per vote. Let that sink in. Georgia was actually WORSE. Even after you account for the larger population and senate runoff election. It took more than $500 per voter to finally make Jon Ossoff a first term senator. Jon was formerly a filmmaker and reporter. $1 billion spent for - and against - him in Georgia! Are we living in the greatest nation on earth, or what? Back to the main point. Imagine YOU are Jon Ossoff. Your entire life has been spent hobnobbing with film producers who spend hundreds of millions to churn out dreck like the 4th installment of Jurassic World. Or Avengers – age of Dull-tron. And now it just cost YOU $1 billion to call yourself senator. If you're this billion dollar guy, you can only conclude that America is filthy rich, rolling in money, and any harebrained idea in congress should be fully funded. And then break for lunch . .. Because senators elected with $200 million, $500 million, or billion dollar campaigns more often meet with special interests than with their actual constituents back home. The most expensive senators spend their time in DC or Hollywood or Wall Street raising money. These congressmen have no clue about how ordinary people live. This is, indeed, the kind of government which the most expensive election in history can buy. |
2023.06.10 13:04 TileMosaics Oh dear
A last little follow on from this. https://www.reddit.com/ExNoContact/comments/13tk3jj/well_time_at_the_ba?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
Yesterday the agency for the place she and I had got in touch stating that the landlord had been to check the house out and noted a few problems and listed them...they were the bits (not difficult bits) I left for her and her side of the family to do when they go to the house foe the final clean up on the last day of the tenancy and drop off the keys following this.
On the one hand I believe it is right to not potentially have a scobble over who should do what etc and just get whatever money back and draw a line. On the other hand for about 30 mins (until I jumped into the gym to work off the emotion) my blood was BOILING because of:
Now, it's been 6 months since the BU, but the healing for us both could only start 3 months ago as we were living with eachother still/in the whole "door is ajar"/following her breaking NC 3 days into it we were messaging/calling/spent the evening with eachother.
But over those 3 months of radio silence (both have blocked eachother on everything + before you say anything we are not the emailing sort) the strides I've made through therapy in the first 3 weeks of NC, achieving career goals and actually going beyond them, improvements in fitness, filling all the voids with positive experiences etc has got me to the place where I don't hate her (I did and very strongly until therapy helped process that and undo it) and I don't love her. So although I do feel like I'm getting the shit end of the stick here with regards to the attitude of her family, her reactions when encountering eachother in public and how the BU overall went. Through the strides I've mentioned, I am able to use radical acceptance - acknowledge the anger, feel it, then let it go as there is nothing you can do.
I don't feel the need to rise to this because of a piece of advice that friend on the phone (he's a therapist but obviously isn't MY therapist, he gives best mate advice) which was, "mate she's acting like a fucking child which is a surprise honestly but, it says alot more about her and how she's handling the BU more than it does about you. Look at what you've done since it happened, look how you are when you clock eachother, you have all the strides YOU'VE made to thank for that". I had a 15 min phone vent with him, did some exercise, felt miles better and that evening went to a gig to watch an HUGE band who grew up in the city I live in do a 'welcome home' gig, bonus was the tickets were free as I did some work for a member of the band (one of the "beyond career goals") and I took a girl mate who subsequently ended up "hoping on the good foot and doing the bad thing" with.
Point is, keep going with the self improvement guys and girls. Because when you are faced with any form of interaction with that ex, you'll come face to face with how you've been spending your time since the split. And I'm these 3 months I'm nearly (in the top 90% I'd say) back to my pre relationship self. Still more work to do like work on emotions so if anymore negative stuff from her side comes through to me I don't feel it, but apart from that I have the rest covered.
Again to clarify, THERE IS NO VICTIM IN MY STORY. It's just a BU, something that happens in life that everybody experiences.
submitted by TileMosaics to ExNoContact [link] [comments]
Yesterday the agency for the place she and I had got in touch stating that the landlord had been to check the house out and noted a few problems and listed them...they were the bits (not difficult bits) I left for her and her side of the family to do when they go to the house foe the final clean up on the last day of the tenancy and drop off the keys following this.
- So they never turned up...
- So they literally left it all to me...
- So the scratches I saw all over the walls when I went back the day after her dad went to pick up her stuff after I had repainted the entire place could have been deliberate/saw they did by accident but didn't bother to fix it.
On the one hand I believe it is right to not potentially have a scobble over who should do what etc and just get whatever money back and draw a line. On the other hand for about 30 mins (until I jumped into the gym to work off the emotion) my blood was BOILING because of:
- How disastrously she handled the BU but seen as I wasn't allow any input I can't be blamed at all for the state of the situation now.
- The idea that even though there is no victim in this situation she is playing it and (obviously I know family will always back family) but her parents are backing her and even being passive aggressive with me
- It looks likes I'm the one to get all the blame for everything (see point #1)
- She is still avoiding anything that has to do with me ie that house, no thought of 'I don't want to waste money when I/we could fix the house things ourselves', it seems like the reply was a 'THAT IS CONNECTED TO MY EX, AVOID. AVOID. AVOID. TAKE THE MONEY' and given she got everything (see point #1) I don't get (but it's not my duty to now) why she's still unhappy/angry
Now, it's been 6 months since the BU, but the healing for us both could only start 3 months ago as we were living with eachother still/in the whole "door is ajar"/following her breaking NC 3 days into it we were messaging/calling/spent the evening with eachother.
But over those 3 months of radio silence (both have blocked eachother on everything + before you say anything we are not the emailing sort) the strides I've made through therapy in the first 3 weeks of NC, achieving career goals and actually going beyond them, improvements in fitness, filling all the voids with positive experiences etc has got me to the place where I don't hate her (I did and very strongly until therapy helped process that and undo it) and I don't love her. So although I do feel like I'm getting the shit end of the stick here with regards to the attitude of her family, her reactions when encountering eachother in public and how the BU overall went. Through the strides I've mentioned, I am able to use radical acceptance - acknowledge the anger, feel it, then let it go as there is nothing you can do.
I don't feel the need to rise to this because of a piece of advice that friend on the phone (he's a therapist but obviously isn't MY therapist, he gives best mate advice) which was, "mate she's acting like a fucking child which is a surprise honestly but, it says alot more about her and how she's handling the BU more than it does about you. Look at what you've done since it happened, look how you are when you clock eachother, you have all the strides YOU'VE made to thank for that". I had a 15 min phone vent with him, did some exercise, felt miles better and that evening went to a gig to watch an HUGE band who grew up in the city I live in do a 'welcome home' gig, bonus was the tickets were free as I did some work for a member of the band (one of the "beyond career goals") and I took a girl mate who subsequently ended up "hoping on the good foot and doing the bad thing" with.
Point is, keep going with the self improvement guys and girls. Because when you are faced with any form of interaction with that ex, you'll come face to face with how you've been spending your time since the split. And I'm these 3 months I'm nearly (in the top 90% I'd say) back to my pre relationship self. Still more work to do like work on emotions so if anymore negative stuff from her side comes through to me I don't feel it, but apart from that I have the rest covered.
Again to clarify, THERE IS NO VICTIM IN MY STORY. It's just a BU, something that happens in life that everybody experiences.
2023.06.10 13:04 autobuzzfeedbot 15 Trivia Tidbits About Garfield
- Garfield Is Never Topical Because He’s Universal
- Why Garfield Hates Mondays
- The Fans Saved Garfield From an Early Demise
- The Woman With the Largest Garfield Collection in the World
- Those Garfield Car Window Toys Caused a Crime Spree
- Garfield Is Named After a President
- Garfield Once Had the Most Bizarre Theme Park Ride
- The Cartoon Strip Has a Guinness World Record
- The Samuel L. Jackson Quote Hiding in the Movie
- Davis Regrets the Zombie Garfield Merch
- Garfield Got Beat Up by the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
- Garfield and the Gender Wars
- That Time Garfield Showed Up in an American Express Commercial
- Garfield Turns 45 This Year
- Move Aside, Odie
2023.06.10 13:04 Proud-Criminal Street parking overnight without paying or getting ticketed?
So I was planning to visit my friend and park on the street. Thing is in last couple years the street outside his apartment complex became paid parking. This boggles my mind since its no where near to center, its an outer district and this street is a dead end that only goes to his apartment complex (newish). So there is no reason to have paid parking here IMO. Its thievery.
So Im guessing no one will check the cars status between 21:00 in evening at 6:00 the next morning? This is not a big main street in Old or New town its a back street that goes no where. What are the chances I get ticketed at night? How many people actually pay for parking in these absurd places where its not justified?
submitted by Proud-Criminal to Vilnius [link] [comments]
So Im guessing no one will check the cars status between 21:00 in evening at 6:00 the next morning? This is not a big main street in Old or New town its a back street that goes no where. What are the chances I get ticketed at night? How many people actually pay for parking in these absurd places where its not justified?
2023.06.10 13:03 BadlyFavorite Top 5 landing spots for Karl-Anthony Towns if Timberwolves trades him this summer
 | submitted by BadlyFavorite to Reelsvedios [link] [comments] |
2023.06.10 13:03 G0NL0RN This can of beer i've found today, tought this is pretty funny
 | submitted by G0NL0RN to funny [link] [comments] |
2023.06.10 13:02 FelicitySmoak_ On This Day In Michael Jackson HIStory - June 10th
 | 1970 - The Jackson 5 perform "The Love You Save" & "ABC" on the Groovy Show TV program in Los Angeles. submitted by FelicitySmoak_ to MichaelJackson [link] [comments] 1972 - Michael third solo single, "I Wanna be Where You Are", on Motown enters the Billboard US Top 40 singles chart at #38. It will peak at #16 during a 9 week run. 1972 - Lookin' Through the Windows by The Jackson 5 on Motown Records enters the Billboard US Black Albums Chart where it will peak at #3 during a 29 week run 1975 - “Forever Came Today” is the last official single of the Jackson 5 released by Motown 1979 - Last concert of the first US leg of the Destiny World Tour at the War Memorial Auditorium (now Greensboro Coliseum) in Greensboro, North Carolina. Tour resumes in October 1993 - Michael makes an appearance at an afternoon rally at a middle school in Los Angeles to launch a new DARE programme called DAREPLUS (‘Play and Learn Under Supervision’) program for the school, an initiative educating children on the perils of substance abuse and gang membership Jackson was a member of the Board of Directors of DARE (‘Drug Abuse Resistance Education’) and he was presented with a t-shirt for which he said: “Thank you very much. I love you all. Thank you.”All members of the 'Challengers Boys & Girls Club' were invited to Neverland 1993 - Michael announces that "HTW"s total earnings of $1.25 million, along with his entire Super Bowl XXVII proceeds from that year will be funneled to "Heal L.A.", for the children having suffered from the Los Angeles’ riots at the time. The Big Brothers of Los Angeles give Jackson a rocking chair made by a woman who made them for President Kennedy and the Pope. Another group of children visiting the ranch get a sneak peak preview of Tom & Jerry: The Movie. The film wasn't scheduled to begin running in theaters until July 30th, but Michael received an advance copy from Joseph Barbera. 1997 - Michael plays the second of two nights at the Amsterdam Arena (now Johan Cruyff Arena) in Amsterdam,Netherlands , to an audience of 50.000. 1999 - Michael is in Paris, France. He stayed one day at Le Crillon hotel as he shopped around the town on his brief stop there for business related meetings 1999 - It is reported that the opening of the first 'Michael Jackson Dance Studio' (formerly announced as the 'Michael Jackson Entertainment School') happened in Tokyo. Michael couldn't attend the inauguration of the school but planned on going soon. 2002 - Michael Jackson arrives in London and checks in the Marriott Renaissance Hotel. 2004 - Ray Charles passes away and Michael issues a statement: "I am saddened to hear of the death of my friend, Ray Charles. He was a true legend...an American Treasure. His music is timeless; his contributions to the music industry...unequaled; and his influence, unparalleled. His caring and humility spoke volumes. He paved the way for so many of us, and I will forever remember him in my heart."2003 - Michael finally gives his deposition in Indianapolis before going to Merville, Indiana Last month, Jackson he fell ill and was hospitalized before he could be deposed in a lawsuit filed by Gordon Keith (who signed the Jackson 5 to his Gary, Indiana-based Steeltown Records in 1967) and musician Elvy Woodard. The men claim that the Jackson 5 used the name of another Gary band and two of their songs without license. Jackson’s attorney, Bob Meyer, says the suit has no merit, noting that Michael was only 9 years old at the time. The deposition took place at a hotel from 11:21 a.m. to 5:10 p.m “Michael was extremely comfortable today,” he said. “He really surprised me.” Meanwhile, an attorney for the plaintiffs, Norman Reed, described Jackson’s deportment as “jovial,” though he went on to say that Jackson couldn’t answer every question because certain events in question occurred more than three decades ago Michael hires Charles Koppleman as his new business adviser. 2005 - Jury Deliberations Day 6 Jurors in the trial will be back again on Monday after ending their first full week of deliberations without reaching a verdict The jurors asked a number of questions today and also requested to have some testimony read back to them. Judge Melville held at least three meetings with attorneys from each side Legal experts say the lengthy and complex instructions issued by the Judge may be responsible for the extended deliberations. "This is a huge, huge celebrity trial, so you can bet that they're going to want to read those jury instructions pretty carefully," said Donna Shestowsky, a law professor at the University of California. Shari Seidman Diamond, a law professor at Northwestern University, agreed: "Running through these instructions is the use of words that are real words in everyday life that have different legal meanings." She said that terms such as "attempt," "reasonable" and "conspiracy" have specific meaning in criminal law and "we know that makes instructions harder to deal with." Diamond said that judges could make jury instructions more palatable but rarely did so as they were more concerned with making sure the instructions were unflawed and would not lead to a reversal on appeal. Peter Tiersma, a member of the California Judicial Council's task force on criminal jury instructions, said it was easier for a judge to simply copy the text of a legal opinion or of a statute in the instructions. He said that no matter how dense or incomprehensible the instructions were, "if you changed it, you risked getting it wrong." As an example, Diamond pointed out that the explanation of 'reasonable doubt' was buried on page 45 of the instructions, which offered little explanation of why jurors should ignore certain pieces of evidence. https://preview.redd.it/f52dnqltm35b1.jpg?width=612&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2753c19dbc11c6413de15208242432e1cdb0437c About 2,200 journalists received press credentials to cover the Michael Jackson trial, more than the O.J. Simpson and Scott Peterson trials combined. Major TV networks have committed dozens of staff members and some news organizations have even installed land lines, fearing that the explosion of phone calls following a verdict could jam the region's cell phone networks. Reporters from every continent except Antarctica are covering the story, a reminder that Michael's popularity remains intense outside the US. News organizations from more than 30 countries were represented "The appetite for Michael Jackson is insatiable," said Graeme Massie, who has covered the trial for Splash, a British news agency. "In the U.S., people may believe that Jackson's star has fallen, but in Europe it still shines brightly." The case is being closely watched in Japan where they are thinking of moving to a jury system. "People in Japan are interested in the King of Pop, but they also want to know how the jury will treat celebrities," said Wataru Ezaki, who works for a Japanese news organization in Southern California. "They want to see if jurors can be fair. It's a very unique case." Deliberations will resume Monday morning at 8:30 a.m. 2009 - AllGood Entertainment Inc. filed a $40 million lawsuit against Michael claiming breach of contract and fraud in an attempt to stop Jackson from performing in London. The New Jersey-based company filed the suit in federal court in New York stating that it signed a deal with Jackson's manager, Frank DiLeo for a pay per view reunion concert with the other Jackson siblings 2013 - Jackson v AEG Trial Day 26 Katherine Jackson was at court for the morning session Randy Phillips Testimony Jackson direct Panish showed a June 20th email from Tim Leiweke (CEO of AEG) to Dan Beckerman (CFO/COO of AEG) in which Beckerman described Phillips as jittery: "Trouble with Michael. Big trouble."Beckerman responded: "I figured something might be wrong given how jittery Randy has been this week. Is it "pre-show nerves" bad or "get a straight jacket/call our insurance carrier" bad?"Phillips said he was not jittery, but concerned with the show. Jittery meaning shaking and he said he doesn't think that's how he was. Phillips said Dr. Murray receiving $150k per month being the cause of Michael's sickness in June of 2009 never crossed his mind Phillips said he did not recall what was discussed in a phone conversation with Murray. In his video deposition that was shown to the jury, Phillips first said the conversation lasted three minutes. He was shown phone records that showed it lasted 25 minutes. Phone records show Phillips had a 25 minute phone call with Conrad Murray after Kenny Ortega's emails on June 20, 2009. Phillips said he didn't think the call lasted that long, doesn't recall what they talked about. "It's very possible I might have even read him these emails," Phillips testified, referring to the "Trouble at the Front" chain. "I would not have discussed his health other than what it was in the content of the emails" Phillips said everyone in the This Is It production got a list with everyone's phone numbers. He doesn't know how Dr. Murray got the list. Phillips was asking about how Conrad Murray got his home phone number. He initially said it might have been on a list given to tour personnel. Phillips then said that Murray may have gotten it from Jackson's former manager, Frank Dileo. Phillips testified that Dr. Murray called his home number. Panish showed picture of the business card Phillips gave Dr. Murray with his cell number on the back. The card was found in the doctor's car. Panish then asked Phillips about an email he sent director Kenny Ortega, telling him Murray was "unbiased and ethical", the email serves as Phillips' best recollection of his conversation with Dr. Murray. This morning, Panish frequently asked Randy Phillips whether he was truthful with Ortega. Panish: "Did you make that up and lie to Mr. Ortega?"Panish talked about email Phillips wrote to Ortega on Jun 20: "Kenny, it's critical that neither you, me or anyone else around this show become amateur psychiatrist or physicians. I had a lengthy conversation with Dr. Murray, who I'm gaining immense respect for as I get to deal with him more. He said that Michael is not only physically equipped to perform and, that discouraging him to, will hasten his decline instead of stopping it. Dr. Murray also reiterated that he's mentally able to and was speaking to me from the house where he has spent the morning with Michael. This doctor is extremely successful (we check everyone out) and does not need this gig so he is totally unbiased and ethical. It is critical we surround Michael with love and support and listen to how he wants to get ready for July 13th... You cannot imagine the harm and ramifications of stopping this show now. It would far outweigh "calling this game in the 7th inning". I'm not just talking about AEG's interests here, but the myriad of stuff/lawsuits swirling around Michael that I crisis manage every day and also his well-being. I am meeting with him today at 4p at the Forum. Please stay steady. Enough alarms have sounded. It is time to out out the fire, not burning the building down. Sorry for all the analogies. Randy"Phillips said he thought Dr. Murray was extremely successful based on the clinics he had and business he would've to close to go on tour. Phillips: "It was an assumption I made"As to the "we check everyone out" reference in the email, Panish asked if that was a true statement or untrue. Phillips: "It's not, it's hard to say yes or no on that. It is not true because everyone would imply everyone"Panish asked about the reference "he doesn't need the gig". "I made another assumption based on the information I had," Phillips explained, "I didn't have any basis to say he was unbiased and ethical" Panish used the email to try to show that 3 people _ Ortega, Murray and John Hougdahl _ were warning Phillips about Jackson's health. Phillips said Murray didn't agree with the assessments of Michael's health by Ortega and Hougdahl (the tour production manager). After multiple questions, Phillips said many of the statements in the email about Murray weren't true. Those statements included that AEG Live checked everyone out, and that Murray was an accomplished doctor who was unbiased and ethical. "At the time, I thought it was the truth", Phillips said of the above statements Phillips testified he wrote email to Sony exec asking her to remind him to tell her where Dr Murray was the night he was to be caring for Michael. Judge only allowed plaintiffs' attorney to say it was a social establishment, but the place was a strip club Panish then asked Phillips about the suggestion that Jackson needed a psychiatrist. Phillips confirmed what he said last week -- he never consulted a psychiatrist. He said today it wouldn't have been appropriate. As to having a mental health professional, "no one brought a psychiatrist," Phillips said, "because Michael didn't need one" Phillips testified he had conflicting information coming from Dr. Murray and Kenny Ortega regarding Michael. Panish pressed Phillips about the fact that he sent completely opposite emails to Ortega and AEG high ups. "It was because they were sent for different purposes," Phillips explained. Of the statements to Ortega, Phillips told the jury: "I just wanted to calm things down until we had this meeting"Before the morning break, Panish showed some of the emails he showed Phillips last week. Panish only had his copy, which had notes on it. Panish gave Phillips his annotated version of the email, but Phillips refused to look at them. Flipped them over so he couldn't see them. "I don't want to help you with your case", Phillips said of reviewing Panish's annotated copies of the emails. That brought some laughter. Phillips was ultimately given a clean copy of the emails, provided by his defense lawyers. Phillips said he remembers the meeting on June 20th lasted at least an hour. Dr. Murray and Phillips were sitting on one couch, Michael was on a bench and Ortega on another couch. In his deposition, Phillips said Ortega talked about Michael's physical and mental status. On the stand today, Phillips explained Ortega did very little talking in the meeting. "He addressed Michael coming to rehearsals. I do not believe he talked about Michael's physical condition and mental state. Dr. Murray did most of the talking," Phillips testified. Panish pressured Phillips about him changing the testimony. "My memory is getting better about the events of four years ago," Phillips said. "The purpose of the meeting was to find out what was happening with Michael because of the events on the 19th" Panish: "Did Mr. Ortega say he was concerned Michael was not getting enough sleep?"Without getting into details, Phillips said Ortega and Murray "were a little combative" at the meeting. Phillips said Murray reassured everyone that Jackson's health was fine. He said Jackson also assured them nothing was wrong with him. He said Murray told the group that Jackson may have had the flu, or some similar ailment. He said Jackson's health was discussed. Phillips said he couldn't recall whether Jackson's sleep issues were discussed. A portion of Randy Phillips' deposition was played in which he said sleep issues were discussed at the June 20, 2009 meeting The meeting happened in the afternoon, Phillips said. Panish asked if Michael was shaking in that meeting. Phillips said "No, not at all" A vase was broken in one of the production meetings, Phillips explained. He said Frank Dileo, Paul Gongaware & himself were present. Phillips said he doesn't know who broke the vase, but he thinks it may have been Frank DiLeo. Phillips denied a vase was broken during the June 20th meeting at Michael's house. Panish: "Did you have a meeting with Michael where you threatened to pull the plug and take everything he had?"Phillips said Michael was a phenomenal father & denied ever saying to anyone at the meeting that Michael was on skid row or going to become homeless. Panish: "Did you ever tell Michael you were paying for his toilet paper?"Phillips denied that Murray said during the June 20th meeting that he "couldn't take it anymore." Phillips denied that Murray's contract was discussed at the meeting, saying that would have been inappropriate. Phillips was also again asked about emails a couple of AEG executives (former CEO Tim Leiweke and Dan Beckerman) traded about him. The email described Randy Phillips as jittery, and alluded to either him or Jackson having a "mental breakdown." Phillips denied he was having a mental breakdown, and said he didn't want to put words in the other executives' mouths. In the deposition played to the jury, Tim Leiweke said the reference to "mental breakdown" in the email could've been to Randy Phillips not Michael. Panish played depo of Dan Beckerman, in which he said he didn't recall what prompted him to say Phillips was jittery. Panish: "Did you think that Michael needed a straight jacket?"Phillips said it was a question of "stage fright and the show will go on" or "I can't do this let's cancel" scenario. Panish: "Do you think Michael needed a straight jacket?"Regarding the straight jacket email, Phillips said the way he read it he can't tell if it was referring to him or Michael. Panish pointed out that insurance was only if Michael had a break down, not Phillips. Thus, the email must've referred to Michael Questioning then moved back to the June 20th meeting, with Phillips describing Murray as "demonstrative" toward director Kenny Ortega. Phillips said Murray's message to Ortega was essentially "stay in your lane" and not to interfere with medical issues. "The meeting got a little bit heated when Dr. Murray was admonishing Kenny," Phillips recalled, but said hostile is too harsh of a word. Phillips said lack of sleep was discussed in the June 20th meeting, but wasn't the main focus. Phillips said the reason of the meeting was to find out what happened in the night before, what was the issue and also Michael missing rehearsals. Phillips said Michael had the best two rehearsals after the June 20th meeting. "Kenny told Michael to take the next two days off, spend some time with the kids," Phillips testified. Phillips was then asked about emails he sent to Leiweke, others, about the results of the June 20th meeting at Jackson's house. This was after Jackson's attorney, John Branca, earlier in the day had suggested a counselor to work with Jackson. Phillips email: "Anyway, things are not as bleak as Kenny's emails. John, now is not the right time to introduce a new person into his life"After this email is when Phillips made the "badgering" comment to Panish that prompted Judge Palazuelos' admonition to him. Suddenly, judge decides to take a break at 2:24 pm and sends the jury out of the courtroom. Outside the presence of the jurors, judge admonished Phillips for not answering the questions asked. "Mr. Phillips you need to answer questions," said Judge Yvette Palazuelos, frustrated. "Lawyers are trying to getting the answers." Judge told Phillips that arguing with the lawyers isn't really going to help his case, it will just lengthen his testimony. She noted his testimony is taking much longer than expected, and at this pace he will be here for another week. Phillips told the judge he's just trying not to say the wrong things or be caught in tricky questions. Judge: "It seems like they are pretty straight forward questions, but when you offer info, it may not be good for you" AEG's attorney Jessica Bina defends Phillips saying the questions are compound, but that she believes he's trying to answer the questions. Panish said he wants to finish today, that he hasn't argued with the witness or judge. "I really tried hard, for me, it's hard!" Panish said. Phillips said he understood and wants to go back to work as well. Promised to be better. Phillips said the email he wrote saying "this guy is trying to concern me" was referring to Kenny Ortega. "I had two concerns: wanted Kenny to be open minded until the meeting and I didn't want Kenny to quit," Phillips explained. At this point they were about $30 million plus in advance, Panish said. Phillips said it was about $28 million, which was a lot of money. Email on 3/13/09 from Leiweke to Phillips: "Phil (Anschutz) can be such a paranoid scrooge. He thinks he's smarter than everyone"After a break and admonition, Phillips testified about some of his concerns surrounding the show.He said he was concerned about Ortega. Phillips said he was concerned that Ortega as getting into an "entrenched position" regarding Jackson's health and rehearsals. Phillips: "I was also quite concerned that Kenny would throw up his hands in the air and quit."The CEO was talking directly to the jury. Phillips said again that his concern with Ortega was that he wasn't going into the meeting with an open mind and that he was going to quit. Panish played Phillips deposition where he said he didn't remember what he was concerned about regarding Ortega. "I think my answer today is clarification," Phillips said, adding he did not change his testimony. Panish questioned whether his description was something he "just remembered right now." Phillips responded, "I'm remembering a lot of things now." Panish shot back that Phillips hadn't remembered many things during his deposition. In his depo, played to the jury, Phillips said there were no discussions on June 20th about Michael taking a couple of days off. However, in court today, Phillips testified Ortega suggested that he take two days off After the June 20th meeting, Jackson took two days off and resumed rehearsals. At that point, Phillips began working out of Staples Center. Phillips said one of the changes to come out of the June 20th meeting was that he would be at Staples, looking in on rehearsals. Phillips was also shown an email from his assistant, looking for a physical therapist for Jackson on June 22, 2009 At this point, Phillips was asked about Arnold Klein. He was shown a June 23rd email from Jackson's business manager Michael Kane. Kane: "On the list of doctors that will help get (us) from today to the opening night, where does Arnold Klein stand on the list?"Phillips responded about Klein: "He scares us to death because he is shooting him up with something"Kane responded: "Well since we owe him $48k and he wants payment maybe I should stop paying him and he'll stop shooting him up. I have the details of what he is doing"Phillips told jurors the email was a response to a $48,000 bill that Jackson's manager received for the treatments by Dr. Arnold Klein. The treatments included numerous shots of cosmetic drugs such as Restalyne and botox, as well as other unidentified intramuscular shots, Phillips said, citing the bill. Phillips said he maintains his position that he didn't know what, if anything, any doctor was giving Michael. Phillips was asked about Jackson's rehearsals on June 23 and 24. He said he couldn't remember which songs were performed which day. Phillips said he watched them in its entirety, which lasted about 3 hours. He said Michael was engaged about an hour and a half to two hours. Panish: "Michael never did the whole show, did he, sir?"On 6/25/09 the insurance broker wrote to Dr. Murray at 12:54:15 pm, probably London time (approximately 5am LA time): " We are dealing with a matter of great importance and your urgent attention would be greatly appreciated"The email talked about getting Michael's medical records. Phillips said he learned from the media that Dr. Murray had been treating Michael since 2006. Panish: "This is Dr. Murray doing something to help AEG get insurance, fair enough?"On 8/18/09 Phillips wrote email to Michael Roth: "I think I know what Michael died of and this would exonerate Conrad"Lionel Richie's ex-wife Brenda called Philips and said Michael died of a combination of other drugs and Propofol. Phillips said he never told police, the DA or Dr. Murray's attorneys about it because he thought the info was not reliable. Panish: "Did you want Dr. Murray to get exonerated?"Panish played video of Phillips' deposition where he said he didn't remember what the information was but his memory has been refreshed Judge then adjourned session for the day. Trial resumes tomorrow morning. Panish said he has one more hour of questioning. The attorneys estimated Phillips will be done testifying by Wednesday afternoon Court Transcript |
2023.06.10 13:00 SorryContribution681 I said I'll go out today, but now I don't want to
And I'm worried it's going to cause a meltdown because I'm supposed to go out.
Someone I worked with left, and it's supposed to be her leaving drinks. I know 2 people in our team definitely aren't going because they can't today. I'm not sure about many others because they work remotely and don't live nearby - they may travel down though.
It's super hot today - hottest day if the year and I don't do well in the heat. I've put on weight and a lot of my clothes don't fit or are tight, so I don't know what to wear. I need something that will keep the sun off me, because I burn easily and I also don't want to damage my tattoos. I want something loose because it's cooler, but I don't want to be too covered because it's hot.
I'm supposed to be going out at the hottest part of the day. Very soon. Town is a seafront town and will be rammed with people. We're meant to be going to a pub I've never been to, and I don't know who is going or where they'll be in the pub. It's also a walk all the way across town from the station, and did I mention it's hot?
I've been doing some much needed housework this morning and I'm now hot. I've already had a shower to rinse off but it's still not exactly comfortable.
But let's say I get my clothing issues sorted and get there ok, I've then got to put on my happy, sociable mask and that's a lot of effort. I never really know how to have a conversation and I feel awkward because I go blank and don't know what to say. They're people I know well enough, but not enough to really let my guard down with.
Oh, and my partner is working this morning and is going out this afternoon/evening so I may not even see him all day but he is my safe person.
I want to make excuses to not go, but I'll feel bad about not making the effort for them, and also feel bad about not doing something fun. I don't want to miss out but I don't want it to be hard 😭
I would love to be able to go out, and have a few drinks in the sun without worrying about all of this 😭
Edit
Oh, and I'm just sitting the sofa reading and feeling nowhere near ready. I just don't have the energy at the moment and want to lie down and nap for a bit, then go out with my partner instead. Somewhere calm and quiet.
submitted by SorryContribution681 to AutismInWomen [link] [comments]
Someone I worked with left, and it's supposed to be her leaving drinks. I know 2 people in our team definitely aren't going because they can't today. I'm not sure about many others because they work remotely and don't live nearby - they may travel down though.
It's super hot today - hottest day if the year and I don't do well in the heat. I've put on weight and a lot of my clothes don't fit or are tight, so I don't know what to wear. I need something that will keep the sun off me, because I burn easily and I also don't want to damage my tattoos. I want something loose because it's cooler, but I don't want to be too covered because it's hot.
I'm supposed to be going out at the hottest part of the day. Very soon. Town is a seafront town and will be rammed with people. We're meant to be going to a pub I've never been to, and I don't know who is going or where they'll be in the pub. It's also a walk all the way across town from the station, and did I mention it's hot?
I've been doing some much needed housework this morning and I'm now hot. I've already had a shower to rinse off but it's still not exactly comfortable.
But let's say I get my clothing issues sorted and get there ok, I've then got to put on my happy, sociable mask and that's a lot of effort. I never really know how to have a conversation and I feel awkward because I go blank and don't know what to say. They're people I know well enough, but not enough to really let my guard down with.
Oh, and my partner is working this morning and is going out this afternoon/evening so I may not even see him all day but he is my safe person.
I want to make excuses to not go, but I'll feel bad about not making the effort for them, and also feel bad about not doing something fun. I don't want to miss out but I don't want it to be hard 😭
I would love to be able to go out, and have a few drinks in the sun without worrying about all of this 😭
Edit
Oh, and I'm just sitting the sofa reading and feeling nowhere near ready. I just don't have the energy at the moment and want to lie down and nap for a bit, then go out with my partner instead. Somewhere calm and quiet.
2023.06.10 13:00 SadBabyFox Teething sucks and I fucked up…
My poor 6 month old is getting her first tooth right now and man, teething is god awful. This sweet girl also got pinkeye from daycare this week, so she’s really going through it. She is full on stuffed up, nose dripping every minute, hates the snot sucker and tissues, etc. To say the last couple of days have been miserable would be an understatement.
Well, it’s almost 4am and I’m sitting up with her in my arms in bed because I fucked up and woke her. She is BF and usually wakes (at min) 1-2 times a night to nurse. 3:00 rolled around and she hasn’t woken since 8, she felt hot, and I couldn’t get her to do a dream feed, so I panicked and woke her up. Not because I wanted her to eat, but because I’ve never had her in such a deep state of sleep that she wouldn’t rouse when picked up, so I thought something was wrong.
It’s me. I was wrong. She was getting much needed sleep and my ass woke her up and reminded her how much her mouth hurt and how hard it is to breathe through her nose right now.
I deserve not going back to sleep this morning. Teething sucks and I can’t wait for her to get through this horrible pain.
submitted by SadBabyFox to NewParents [link] [comments]
Well, it’s almost 4am and I’m sitting up with her in my arms in bed because I fucked up and woke her. She is BF and usually wakes (at min) 1-2 times a night to nurse. 3:00 rolled around and she hasn’t woken since 8, she felt hot, and I couldn’t get her to do a dream feed, so I panicked and woke her up. Not because I wanted her to eat, but because I’ve never had her in such a deep state of sleep that she wouldn’t rouse when picked up, so I thought something was wrong.
It’s me. I was wrong. She was getting much needed sleep and my ass woke her up and reminded her how much her mouth hurt and how hard it is to breathe through her nose right now.
I deserve not going back to sleep this morning. Teething sucks and I can’t wait for her to get through this horrible pain.