Skull cavern stardew
Stardew Valley
2013.02.12 12:51 Morticide Stardew Valley
Stardew Valley is an open-ended country-life RPG with support for 1–4 players. (Multiplayer isn't supported on mobile).
2023.03.26 11:31 DamuKitsune Ps4 mines bug
The ps4 (1.5.4.2) version of the game has this bug where the mines and skull cavern stay on hard mode after initially activating the qi quest. Unfortunately the fix for this bug is only in 1.5.5.
Does anyone know a way in which i can disable the hard mines without external file editors (since this is ps4 version)?
submitted by DamuKitsune to StardewValley [link] [comments]
Does anyone know a way in which i can disable the hard mines without external file editors (since this is ps4 version)?
2023.03.26 10:13 lbhnhxkvjm 😘👉👌 IF YOU TAP YOU WILL CUM 🍆💦
 | IF YOU TAP HERE YOU WILL CUMIF YOU TAP HERE YOU WILL CUMIF YOU TAP HERE YOU WILL CUMhttps://i.redd.it/047d2ix2l1qa1.gif“In that case,” she leaned in to kiss me lightly on the lips, “you should get your keys.” for her. She was holding them up with one hand, while Carl looked to his side and found himself incredibly turned on – again the idea of rape was turning him on, which had him worried. “Saying ‘never’ is stupid, squirt. Especially with me.” she flashed me another grin. “I’m only doing this for you anyway.” “Yes.” For some reason, everything that happened the day before seemed to happen from the incident with Corey. I didn’t know why. Maybe it was because I avoided the two of them for the longest I ever had, and that forced Camryn to finally come out. I wasn’t sure but I just knew I had to thank Corey. I wasn’t a virgin anymore because of her; but somehow, it made things with Camryn easier. “Not sure why I’m here,” I remark sitting down in my wooden seat. I opened the cavernous trailer and we went to work she had a a dark colored L shaped couch that came in 2 pieces we slid one in sideways and the second half was flipped on top of it we slid 2 arm chairs matching the couch and put them in, we pulled out a massive oak desk and she was adamant to keep so we put that heavy ass thing in. Wildfire1180Report She led me into the room and it was very calming. In the centre of the room was a a massage bench that faced a window with an amazing view. It was heavily tinted and the room lights were dim. There were paintings like those in the reception and at the back of the room there were shelves with massage equipment. Before I could respond, Tim came up behind Riley. “Beach bonfire right after this. Jon said she could come,” he nodded toward me, “but he wants to drink some, so...” Translation: Riley had to stay sober or I had to go home. Chloe didn’t say anything. No-filter Nicky burst out laughing, god bless her. I felt his fingers running against my crotch. I pumped my hips toward his fingers. John used both hands to pull my red panties down slipping them gently and slowly from my legs. John brought my panties to his nose where he took a deep breath then licked at my panties before tossing them onto the dash of his car. “Yes cum inside your pregnant baby mama! Fill me with your powerful seed that makes me grow so biggg. Fuck I needed your cock!” Larissa babbled mindlessly as all her energy dissipated into her final orgasm. We small talked for a little while, but soon realized that we would have accept the fact that we didn’t know where we were. She told me that I was out cold for quite a while, and that she hadn’t seen anything else from the plane. I had heard once that the best think to do right away was figure out if it was actually an island by walking around the perimeter. Soon her stomach growled and I the walk around the island could wait for supper. Somehow the conversation drifted to sexual fantasies and desires. Alicia's contribution was“I'm not game to tell you all my fantasies, but one that I'm not too embarrassed about is that I would like to go to a nudist beach.” “That's not all that kinky. We are all nude whenever we are at home.” “Yes. But the reason is that I want to see other men's cocks. I've only ever had a good look at Sam's and Phil's” “Well! Nothing could be easier. If the weather is good we'll all go to Obelisk beach this Sunday. You can stare at the cocks while Sam stares at the bums and tits. You'll both like watching people playing volley ball. Everything bounces when you jump about.” She was in absolute heaven. With a sneer and a laugh Reece mocked, "I don't know who you think you are but you're very stupid to come after me with a knife. Now drop it and I might let you go." (305 votes) It worked; she laughed, blushing and pulling me into another hug, a long, tight one. I felt her tears soaking through my shirt on my shoulder. "That's not why you do it, right?" I said facetiously. I started to feel weaker and knew I was dying. Will wouldn’t allow that to happen, He slit his own wrist and poured blood into my mouth. He stilled his thrusts and came inside me the exact moment I swallowed. Securing me as his mate for all eternity. could never move that way… "I need you to sign a complaint against that bastard, I ran a check on him and find that he has been in this kind of trouble and worse before. I plan to let him spend some time as our guest while his home state of Ohio decides what to do with him for violating probation." The wall was still adorned with actions of passion, with the flavor of the day being making out. It was an almost bizarre display of teenage passion, and I could do little but mindlessly follow Morgan’s lead as I was guided beyond the wall of lust, as we made our way to a hallway with several doors. I was throbbing by the time we passed the final couple in the hallway, and it wasn’t because I was being a voyeur. So I parted Audrey’s legs and got between them. She smiled up at me and said, “Be gentle, I’m a virgin.” wanted this for years. ‘How about we tell her I got a puncture and we had to start walking back from the coast, then after a few miles or so another cyclist helped us fix the tyre?’ “I don't think we'll be doing anything tonight,” I said getting back in bed. “It’s nothing we can’t fix dad, just a lot of confusion and misunderstanding and stuff,” I said. That made sense. Sort of. “Thanks Max,” she giggled playfully and waved, leaving me thinking the same thing I’m always thinking. “It's been a while since I've been able to get you alone and pay you back for that in school sex session.” She grabbed Johns cock thru his trunks and slowly stroked it “and I think you fucking my ass here and now will make up for it?” "AHHH!" Bella gasped. Her eyes flew open and she jammed her pussy even harder against him as she leaned back to look at him. Ian slid his hands back down to her waist and then up again. var pager = {"objects":[" anonymouslytightnwet<\/a>Report<\/a> <\/span><\/h4>\n |
2023.03.26 10:11 tojewjulvu 😘👉👌 IF YOU TAP YOU WILL CUM 🍆💦
 | submitted by tojewjulvu to t16lpu8c8x [link] [comments] IF YOU TAP HERE YOU WILL CUMIF YOU TAP HERE YOU WILL CUMIF YOU TAP HERE YOU WILL CUMhttps://i.redd.it/307dzx8pk1qa1.gif“That actually sounds fucking hot baby,” Katy says almost purring at my suggestions. We kissed until John yanked Dustin's head from mine. "I left room in the ropes for you to fuck her, and that's what I want to see now." “BOYS LOVE TO BE STIFF, pumpkin . . . and the best way to do that is for cute girls like you . . . to lick and suck their COCKS. Why don’t you get on your knees honey, and Tommy will stand in front of you, and we can practice. Keep in mind . . . boys COCKS are sensitive and you must make sure you don’t touch your teeth on their cock heads. Tell you what, see that fluid on the tip of his COCK . . . go ahead and lick that off for him.” The most striking thing about the outfit was the zip that ran from one side of her right breast going down diagonally to the top of her left thigh. Unzipping that thing would be like opening presents at Christmas. When Jason came back to the room, he turned on the bedside lamp and switched off the overhead. Evan was glad and uncovered his eyes. That was when he remembered what happened last time he spent the night. His friend apparently didn't have the same level of modesty as he had because Jason was standing there naked. His back was to Evan, but Jason's cock and balls were dangling between his legs. Evan knew he should have slammed his eyes shut, but he didn't. “It’ll be fun.” “Will you swear to come to our aid when called for, and heed the orders of your King?” sundae Sam left dumbfounded and not sure how to take it all. It was as if all he dreams had come true. As he walked home he kept running over and over what the alien had said, trying to comprehend it. Try and make at least one of them pregnant. Sara immediately went right back to my cock. Thank god. The others watched for a moment, laughing and cheering Sara on, then just took her top and ran back to Julie’s house. At least I think that’s what they did, I didn’t really care just then. This was the most aggressive blowjob I had ever received in my life, and it was incredible. I made no effort to tell her when I was gonna cum. I think she knew anyway, but when the moment came I just grabbed the back of her head, held her tight and blew everything I had down her throat. 'Oooh, we have another "big shot" huh? Well two can play this game.' Amber: have you ever eaten a girl before? Well today you will. „No-no,“ said Marlene. „I do not be covered during this 14 hours, what I spend naked outside. I will stay wet until sun dries my body.“ I grabbed a sponge in one hand, and Annie in the other. I held her back pressed to my chest as I covered her tits, abdomen, and vulva with soapy suds. I planted kisses along her neck and shoulder while she rocked her hips against my iron hard cock. Read 39318 times I'm thinkin' that Mike little adventure in being Bi was with John, his father. And John is going to want to ''share'' in Mike's little treasure. Eve- I like that thought. “No, Guy I’m so sor,” is as far as Rachael gets but I cut her off. "God yes, Michelle", she yelled, her voice echoing a thousand times over in the small room, undoubtedly alerting the neighbors to her sexual encounter. But neither her or I cared at the moment. "Eat my cunt. Make me cum", she yelled again. “ It’s not funny Heath why didn’t you call honey?” Ellie say seating me down on the couch I slid down on his dick. " Awww Sweetie that is so thoughtful. So what do you want to do this summer?" Mom asks me as I think then smile. "I hope you didn’t make a lot of noise and keep your sister up." Laura said. “Why, Jeremy? Don’t you want to? I want to fuck you.” "I know," Darlene said. "I'm sorry, I should be happy with you. This is incredible. I wish I had time to take you ‘Woah, let’s not get too upset. You were begging for my cock a few minutes ago.’ Darius said, indignant. it into her. Her legs were pulled up high, wrapped around Jack's “Okay,” I said, giving her a small wink. She grinned broader. Fbailey story number 733 "Man, I need a shower. You know Gina's exercise videos, right? She made us go through the whole set! I'm drenched and need to cool off." “Nope, just a kiss ass. You've been doing it all day; just now, on Rita, earlier at home, when will it stop?” Stephanie said smirking when she said “at home.” And I delivered. Shortly after I locked Megan in position, I spurted wave after wave into her. I wasn’t sure if Megan was exactly comfortable, but she didn’t protest, trying her best to swallow every wave (or, at this point, let it slide down her throat) with what sounded like a muffled moan of either euphoria or crying. I couldn’t tell, and didn’t care one bit. That was for all the trouble she caused me. 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I’d like to think that we’re at least friends of some sort,” I explain as I nudge her menu towards her with my finger. In the lands of the West shall be born our salvation. “Greg? Which Greg? Greg Fredericks? Greg Taylor? Or the teacher Greg Anderson?” “She is so young that I am surprised even her rich parents allow it.” The kid said. I thought it was an important meeting until the woman's name I had forgotten. I heard a voice – no, voices – as I neared what I believed to be Salvador’s office. The big room next to it boasting the huge sign ‘Choir Room’ certainly helped. I knocked on the door to hear, sure enough, Mr. Salvador’s voice. “Come in.” I walked in to see a cluttered space filled with just about everything. An open closet full of costumes, busts wearing various wigs and hats, books among books filling shelves, photographs covering the walls, old VHS tapes stacked on the floor, you name it. In the righthand corner of the room sat Mr. Salvador at his cluttered desk, and on the other end, surprisingly, Paul Stevens. A few more feet and she’d see the place he loved going when he was a small child, his mother took him there three times a year till he was ten, then she stopped. This would be the first time coming back after all that time and he was bringing Riley with him. “Already talking smack, huh?” Nicole smirked. “Bowser’s castle it is then, bitch. Now hurry up and connect your damn controller.” "Tour?" I could feel myself turning pale white. "I dont know." I said sitting next to her Finally I was empty, and she licked up any cum she missed. When she was satisfied, she moved up, cuddled against me, and pulled a blanket over us. Her head rested on my shoulder, and soon after she was fast asleep. I watch the door move away from me to close and the Asian girl sees me for a second as I grab her throat and use her to slam the door shut and watch her fall to the floor afterwards. I lock the door and see Hanna across the room and the three girls finally turn to see me. I grab Karmin and slam her head against the counter with a hard thud. I see Arisha start to move until Hanna jump on her back and try to choke Arisha with her arms around the neck. I turn to look at Sara when something softer than a fist hits me in the face. I finally look and see Sara holding her purse and everything Guy’s dad told me comes flooding back. Left hand grab opponent by the throat, when her hands come up to remove my hand use my right fist to take the wind out with a straight shot to the gut, as she doubles over remove hand from neck and bring my elbow down on the back of her skull. I’m standing there a little confused as I’m now standing over Sara’s unconscious body when reality hits me with what I just did. Hanna and Arisha are still struggling and I wait till Arisha’s head is facing me before dropping her with a wide swing to the face. Hanna gets up from the floor with where she fell with Arisha and start to look around at the mess I just made. “Do you believe me? That I can lick my own nipples?” She squeezed her own breasts from underneath so that they puffed up and spilled out over her hands. She brushed a long finger over each nipple to stimulate it. “Or do I have to prove it to you?” Her lower lip curled in a slutty challenge. She looked down to her nipples and back to my eyes. It was everything I had imagined it would be like. She was so good at giving head, I thought I was going to explode right there into her mouth. Even if I did I was pretty sure that I would be hard again in a matter of seconds. There was no way I was not going to pass up fucking Jordan at this point. An unearthly warmth radiated from my chest and I felt freer than I ever had. My soul soared. I was only dimly aware of my body’s convulsions as my pussy pulsed on Noah’s cock and squirted in ecstasy. I moaned and cried as each surge of sperm seemed to fill any void I had from my sudden release. The rest was just a kaleidoscope of sensations. A complete mish mash of feelings I’m not sure they have names for. I nodded. When we finished our bath, we dried off and dressed ourselves. By the time Shelby had her clothes on, her cock was soft again. 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2023.03.26 10:09 jztxxdrubi 😘👉👌 IF YOU TAP YOU WILL CUM 🍆💦
 | submitted by jztxxdrubi to kgko27peiq [link] [comments] IF YOU TAP HERE YOU WILL CUMIF YOU TAP HERE YOU WILL CUMIF YOU TAP HERE YOU WILL CUMhttps://i.redd.it/2wyss0r9k1qa1.gif“Why didn't you tell me about the crush and stuff,” I asked softly. “I need all the personal and rumored information on someone at school,” I tell her breaking the mood slightly,” If you get me this I promise you that I’ll leave you walking funny for at least a day.” My orgasm ripped through me. I grunted hard and she lifted the bottle just in time to catch the first of many violent squirts of cum into the empty bottle. My hips bucked and my cock flexed spasmodically with each hot stream of cum I ejected into the container, but she held on tight, gliding her wet tongue back and forth across my sensitive frenelum and coaxing as much fluid as she possibly could. The bottle filled quickly and began overflowing deliciously down the side and onto my sister's face with soft spatting noises. I shivered and gasped as my orgasm finally subsided and cum continued to flow from my tensing cock, running down the shaft and across my sister's sucking lips. I say, “I'm just not complete without her.” Louise stepped into his room, setting herself not to react to his costume. Fortunately, Carter's head was turned away just long enough that he didn't see her fail. “It got cold fast, my nipples are freezing! Rita shivered as she stripped off her wet clothes. “They have now.” Cory clasped the necklace together and she turned to face him. “No crying,” he said as he wiped the tears from the corners of her eyes. “That make up literally took you three years to do.” He kissed her on the head and stood back and admired. “There,” he said. “Perfect. You’ll be the Belle of the ball.” “No, but I’m glad we did what we did. I can’t imagine going another day without you.” “Go!” Becca shouted, as she rolled off of me and scrambled to her feet. “Get to the exit! I'll grab all our stuff!” “Yeah, he’s figured it out, Sis. But I trust Bill. He told me he’d keep our secret, and when he says he’ll keep it quiet, you can take that to the bank. I just hope not many other people figure it out, or we’re going to be in shit up to our eyeballs.” I thought of Aida half the way home. Thoughts of Aida naturally turned into thoughts of her brother. By the time I got home I was so horny. I was home now and knew I needed release, I'd have to be quiet since my father was already home. "That's right," Ann replied. "To lose your virginity. To have a cock stuffed up your pussy. To fuck your brothers." It was around the time Summer becomes Autumn in 2010 and I was only 16. I had my very first girlfriend and I was very pleased with how we were going. We had hit the 3 month mark, and I was elated, I couldn’t comprehend our relationship going any better. Evidently, she could. Jerry all of a sudden got an urge that caused his cock to twitch and stiffen. He did not want to get a raging boner here and he noticed his baggy shorts move as his cock had flexed when Sarah’s breast had rubbed his arm. “Ian?” She said. “Come out!” “Not when you fucked your own father!” she snapped. Her hand grazed over the window, and her powers crested slightly, turning the minute water vapors into crystalline particles of ice. In seconds she managed to frost over most of the window. "I need to change. And I need a mirror too, thanks. I will be back out in a few minutes," Brittany repeated herself, holding her ground for once, looking to Justin with pride. With that, she turned and walked into the bathroom, not caring to wait for John's rebuttal. “I guess you did. How’s life?” Jake grinned at her. Her eyes sparkled behind her eyeliner. she was a willing participant and within a couple weeks of sucking him almost every night "What about me?", says Ally. Read 206919 times "Oh, yeah, real good, here rub right here," I said as I guided his thumb to my clit. "Mmm, just rub right there, Davie, mmm, don't stop, just keep going, I'll tell you when…uuh, uuh, uuh," as this young thirteen-year old boy brought me to orgasm. I had to stifle my cry of ecstasy and in a minute, I whispered, "You really got me off great, Davie, you're a great lover but now I want this in me," as I put my hand around his dick. ‘So fucking hot,’ said James lustfully, as he watched Chloe spoon the drops of cum from her chin and suck it off her fingers in longing. It Started On Skull Island - Chapter 4 ‘I’m cumming Cho!’ groaned Harry, ready to explode for the second time that morning. “FUCK, FUCK,FUCK,FUCK,FUCK,FUCK,FUCK,FUCK,FUCK!” she screamed every time my thighs collided with her fat juicy sweaty ass. I fucked her all the way through her orgasm, which felt like 2 minutes. As soon as she regained control of her own body she performed a 180 degree turn still on my pole and started slamming her ass against my stomach, fucking me reverse cow girl. At this point I was weak as her newly tightened pussy hammered all the way to my balls. I pushed myself up and reached around her with my right arm and started pounding her again. My sweat and her sweat, her pussy juices running down my cock and balls onto my bed. A few minutes later the door flung open, Brooke came out and B-lined straight to me with a mixed look of concern and confusion. I sighed, but sat down while still hugging Lanie, “Alright, but next week, I’m gonna blow your mind with my skills” Naruto moved over to her and got her in a sitting position with him next to her. He draped an arm around her shoulder and pulled her close so she was crying in his chest. “Just let it all out.” 2015-06-23 20:37:37 Over the next hour and a half, the six of them talked, During this time, Emily and Jason also decided that they would go on a date as well. It was working out well for them all. John could tell his friends where both very happy and very nervous at the same time. They six of them watched a few trains together, but they did not take any pictures. They boys just cuddled up to their respective girls and held them close with their arms over their shoulders as the trains passed. Soon, the defect detector announced another Westbound train, followed by the crew announcing that their train had no defects to the dispatcher, they knew it was the locomotive they were after. “No, I guess it wasn’t.” She smiled, I could sense that she trusted me now. I gently massaged her beautiful breasts as I gently urged her legs higher and wider. She wrapped them around my waist. I penetrated deeper until I felt the bottom of her vagina. I backed out again repeated, increasing in speed to keep her feeling comfortable.I began to thrust faster and faster into her soft cavern, and she began to feel more and more waves of sexual delight. She began to moan softly, cooing my name: “Ryan, oh Ryan, uhhh, Ryan, Ryan, ahhh.” I felt my own ecstasy mounting as well, and grunted with pleasure at every thrust into her. Her cries got louder and louder until she peaked. Screaming along with her gushing orgasm. "It's huge," she said incredulously. "Is it always that big?" "OK, that's a relief, Mom." Brittany began to think about possibilities and sank deeper into the water. 2016-08-11 02:50:42 "What about Korra! Will I be able to ever see her again or anyone!?!" He yelled in despair I never heard her say anything about her not liking that I was fucking my Aunt. Few more minutes have passed, when finally Aunt Lori came back in, and a nude Lauren came in right behind. I knew this was going to be great, fucking my hot Aunt and her hot daughter, who was also my cousin, at the same time. She was sitting in the hallway between our two rooms, resting against the wall. "You had always pushed me never to let a slight go unavenged. That was the reason behind the plan. And, unless she happened to be sick that day, your teenaged cocksucker would have been among the crushed-slaughtered." Lucius said this with all the emotion of reading aloud his answer to a question in recent math test: 'in several full, correctly punctuated sentences, describe the first fundamental theorem of calculus and at least one practical use.' "The military would only make me a more efficient killer even less restrained by emotions or conscience. Even I knew I'd never go into uniform, no matter how far above 95, I got on the ASVAB or AFQT or whateverthefuck the Defense Department is calling it this week." He tried to smile winningly. All John saw in those teeth was the teeth of a hungry predator. She smiled back with this fearful yet determined smile on her face as she slowly closed her eyes. He scooted back up so that he was draping his leg over her crotch area as he leaned in to give her a gentle kiss on the lips. She responded in kind and soon they were back to where they were before she interrupted their mutual display for each other. As the kissed became more passionate, Chuck’s hand began its exploratory expedition. hold it much longer.” Irina lay down onto Mike. As she did this she cocked her head to the left and used “Yes. Sometimes I could not even think and just rubbed myself till I reached my orgasm.” “Turn this plane around or I’m going to start killing passengers!” the man yelled, waving his gun at anyone who made the slightest of moves. I rewinded the incident in question in my head and realized I did say just that, and without even knowing either, it just came out. I couldn't help but smile. "Yep. That's Jo." The rest of the family makes their way down and Mark looks especially goofy in old pajamas that don’t quite fit and we sit down to begin going through presents. I keep more of an eye on everyone else as they unwrap their gifts and finally it gets to mine, the ones I got for them and I wait quietly. Mark opens his first and like most others from me the box is small. Everyone watches him remove a pendant shaped like a shield with an angel on the front holding a sword and shield while wearing armor. It takes him a second to read the paper and quietly he puts the pendant on and looks humbled. 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2023.03.26 09:12 the-void-calleth 13 Tips for Beginner Farmers
It seems like there are a whole lot of people on this sub that are pretty new to the game so here are some helpful tips to get you started!
submitted by the-void-calleth to StardewValley [link] [comments]
- Beach farms are not for beginners. I know they're pretty and they have lots of cools quirks but not being able to use sprinklers during your first few runs of the game will make it VERY HARD. I believe it's mostly meant for people who aren't focusing on farming.
- Not all farm types are equal. If this is your first time playing, I'd recommend the basic farm, with the forest farm being the better general option but maybe not as easy to learn the game in. River and Mountain farms are not super worth it, and are better for more experienced players, whereas wilderness may be overwhelming for a first-time player. Four-Corners is also good, but better for multiplayer.
- Make chests and keep them organized. Trust me, it'll make your life so much easier. I like having a "construction" chest, a "farming" chest, a "miscellaneous" chest and a "tool and decoration" chest at the start. You can also place chests anywhere in the world, so I'd recommend having one at the entrance of the mines, in places where you do a lot of fishing and in Clint's shop. Do make sure you place them out of the way so NPCs don't walk through them, though.
- Upgrade your tools. Seriously. The better your tools, the easier collecting resources will be. You'll need to get your pickaxe all the way to iridium, your axe to at least gold, and your hoe and watering can to at least iron. Upgrading your pickaxe is the key to clearing the mines, and upgrading your hoe and watering can is best done when farming is done for the season, before farming starts in the new season or during winter.
- Save up seasonal crops/forage for the community center. If you choose to go the community center route, know that there are certain bundles that can only be completed with items specific to different seasons-- not just crops but fish and forage as well.
- Automation is key. Try to make things as automatic as possible to free up time and energy for things that must be done manually. Sprinklers are live-saving (though I'd only recommend using high-quality sprinklers and better.) Later on there are also machines to help you with your animals-- an auto-collector from marnie and an auto-petter from the skull-caverns or Joja (if you chose the joja route).
- You can find iridium in magma geodes. Iridium, being the most powerful metal in the game, will be very important later on. You can find iridium ore in the skull-caverns or the ginger island volcano (two areas unlocked after a while) but for both you need an iridium pick to actually get any work done. Thankfully, you can get pieces of iridium ore by cracking the red geodes found at the lowest level of the mines.
- Bombs are the best mining tools. If you're planning in gathering lots of resources or clearing a large section of mining levels, bombs are your best friends. Just make sure to collect ore/gems by hand if you have an ability that doubles them (via mining skill) and try not to stand in the blast radius.
- Cheese is the best food and you'll want a lot of it. A lot of foods in the game will give you useful buffs on top of healing you, but pay attention-- these buffs don't stack! What you want to do is have a smaller amount of foods that give you the buff you need and a large amount of food that has no additional effect. That food? Cheese. Specifically gold-star cheese made with "large milk" in the cheese press. It'll heal you for a large amount of energy/hp without canceling your buffs.
- Passing out at 2 am is not that bad. Sure, you'll lose some money and energy, but ultimately it's not such a harsh punishment. On the other hand, being knocked out by monsters in the mines will cost you a lot of the precious items you have in your inventory, so be very careful not to hit 0 hp.
- Check your tv. Checking the weather each morning will help you figure out your schedule, since you don't need to water your crops when it rains. Living Off the Land will give you great tips, Queen of Sauce will teach you recipes you can use once you upgrade your house and the fortune teller will help you figure out if it's a good day to fish or mine.
- The Traveling Merchant is your BEST FRIEND if you're trying to complete the community center. Every Friday and Sunday, at the top left corner of the forest, there will be a lady in a cart pulled by a purple hippo. She will offer a random assortment of items that may include rare, hard to get or out-of-season items that you need. She also sells "rare seeds" which you can plant at the beginning of fall for a nice payout at the end of the season. Do note that not all her deals are good, and that if there's something you're hoping to get from her, you'll need to set aside some money for it.
- Don't stress-- plan out your day. It's good to start every day with a plan: Will you farm? Fish? Forage? Mine? A bit of everything? Keep in mind what your current goals are (like if you're saving up money or resources to get something), the shopkeepers' schedules, and other factors like the luck or the weather. If you find yourself overwhelmed by the clock, remember that time doesn't move while you're looking at a chest or at your inventory (if you're in singleaplayer) so take a breather every now and again.
2023.03.26 08:30 Yeti342 absolutely INSANE skull cavern run I just had. This is my second file and I was trying to reach 100 for the first time, I got 4 prismatic shards like 150 iridium ore AND A FUCKING LUCKY RING. Note I only have like 150 hours on this game total.
 | I'm absolutely floored this is probably the best run I will ever have in the skull cavern. submitted by Yeti342 to StardewValley [link] [comments] |
2023.03.26 06:45 Reptani Pray the Conquistadores, Ch. 10: Consummation of Imperium
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“The gorgeous pageant has passed — the roar of battle has ceased — the multitude has sunk in the dust — the empire is extinct."
– Thomas Cole
Catalogue Description: Diary of Princess Elita sif Panya of the Lamfu Protectorate, Log 4 - English Translation
Date: 0-Pacpuf-436 (Panyan Royal Calendar) November 20th, 2162 (Gregorian Calendar)
Held by: The UK National Archives, Kew
Legal status: Public Record(s)
Apparently, there were thousands of frozen primate embryos aboard Erebus 2.
The disease, famine, and conquest which the Senghavi had inflicted upon the Terran civilization—whether intentional or not—had been devastating. Their “United Nations” had worried that humanity might fall below a minimum viable population. In equipping Erebus 2 with frozen embryos and Senghavi habitat fabrication technology, they had hoped to restart their civilization away from the prying eyes of the Crown.
It was true that, like the carnivores, the Senghavi were a species for whom the Gods had modelled an exponentially-increasing evolution of resources and energy. But even they would have trouble spotting a single, cloaked spacecraft amid the infinitude of space. Erebus 2 was meant to deliver humanity out of the darkness by ferrying its frozen offspring into the vast black of the cosmos—hence the mission name, an ancient Terran deity which personified darkness itself.
“This ‘Wormhole Empire Theory’ is… consistent with the theories of the secularists and sapientists within our scientific community,” my father replied. “You would call us an ‘Isolate,’ and the carnivores, an ‘Empire.’ I assume you did not want to… offend our religious sensibilities, so publicly over the video feed.”
“Well, you people seem to really like ‘the order of nature,’" Doctor Usman said abashedly. "But the moment that a species becomes advanced enough to punch through the fabric of space-time, then seize resources and planets at an exponential rate, seems a lot more like an unstable ‘equilibrium’ than a natural, stable one. I’m not sure if it’s compatible with what you… think of your Gods.”
“Do you have an understanding of how these wormholes are created?” my father asked. “You went through one to get here. Did you create it with stolen technology, or did you use one that had already been made?”
“The latter, Your Majesty. We believe a species becomes an Empire when it is able to use quantum entanglement and negative energy to puncture vast distances of space with wormholes. That sort of thing is… far beyond the capabilities of mankind, even before we were colonised.
“The physical details behind it aren’t really my area of study. I can tell you it involves fields of negative energy density, and I think they somehow use threads of quantum information stretched between quarks and antiquarks. There’s something in there about an electric field and a fourth dimension… You’ll have to ask Doctor Kuznetsov when we all meet up at the Red Citadel. He’s one of the most brilliant physicists our species has to offer.”
The semi-arid plains seemed to flow like a river as our police-escorted motorcade sped along the expressway. Electric aircraft crawled lazily through the opaque atmosphere, while colossal harvesters extracted aluminium and gallium-rich minerals near the Denfalli surface. Apparently, relative to Denfall, Earth had a less-dense planetary crust and a more heterogeneous distribution of metals. In order to access their own resources, the native Terrans had needed to resort to bombs and drills, forcing deep pits and shafts into their planet.
That was, if one believed that they had once had a complex society at all, as I did.
“Half of our thirty-one year journey was spent verifying the existence of, and searching for, a wormhole we theorised was orbiting Neptune—the eighth planet from our sun. We’d detected its gravitational effects and its distortion of light, and we thought that an error in the Senghavi’s cloaking technology must have exposed the structure’s throat. We had no idea where it led, but… we went through anyway. Thought had to be life on the other side. Maybe someone that could help us.”
The realisation hit me like a sudden noise, making me jump in my seat, and my heart flared in my chest. “You found a real-life wormhole in your solar system, and you went through without any idea of what was on the other side? That must have been terrifying! You could have ended up… in another galaxy, or at the edge of the universe, or something!”
Through his visor, I could see Doctor Moore’s face become sorrowful. Doctor Usman had the best grasp of Circpi, being the crew’s linguistic expert, but the other primates’ clumsier, more thickly-accented hold on our language was more interesting to listen to.
“That was not the hardest part,” said the dark-skinned biologist. “We were desperate. What made us more afraid... it was the situation of our species; the extinction of our culture and our sovereignty. And the distance away from our families... of my daughter. I want her to live in a better world, but it's not... easy, to be so far from my daughter, on a planet thousands of light-years away from Earth. It's not easy, being far away in space, when my daughter lives without her father for thirty-one years.
“When... We hear your conversations for the first time... Your communication that you have by neutrinos ... It was a sensation, an emotion, like no other. Finally, we had found extraterrestrial life! If I have to, I would travel a hundred times, again, through mysterious tunnels in space, just for this discovery. You are the greatest scientific discovery in the entire history of mankind.”
“Thirty-one years!” I exclaimed. “How long is your lifespan in the first place?”
“Most humans live to about seventy-two years on average,” Doctor Usman replied, suddenly seeming just as sullen as Doctor Moore. “Most of us left Earth in our early thirties. We’re over sixty now. Before our comms system failed, I kept in touch with the love of my life. Watched him age, as I did. My last message from him… I hold it close to my heart.”
The sheer isolation and loneliness of the Erebus 2 mission was difficult to wrap my mind around. Doctor Moore’s small, binocular eyes were moist and red. It seemed that crying was an emotional response in the primates, just like us!
I huddled next to Doctor Moore, putting my plastic-bound paw on his glove. I didn’t know what else I should do to comfort an extraterrestrial, so I resorted to physical affection, as is the habit of us Lamfu. To my surprise, the primate rubbed me behind the ears. Despite the barrier of polypropylene against synthetic fibres, his firm touch sent a tingly sensation down my skull and spine, and I leaned into it.
Through natural selection, us Lamfu evolved tall, sensitive ears to detect predators lurking in the wilderness, so that we might be more likely to survive and pass on our genes. Thus, we had a lot of nerve endings in those regions. Perhaps human fingers could stimulate them in a way our paws could not? It was all the more reason to sway our desperate extraterrestrial friends away from the far more impressive Imperium!
“We’d never be able to take on such a task,” the King said solemnly. “I can’t imagine many would. The carnivores and mantids must not be entirely right about you. We thought that, due to being palaeolithic hunter-gatherers, your species would have been barbaric and violent. But your lack of technology and connection with your primal nature has clearly made you more humble and honourable than us supposedly ‘civilised’ folk! You are, in a sense, noble savages!”
I knew he meant it as a complement, but it only seemed to anger Doctor Usman.
“We’re not… nevermind!” she snapped, blinking tears from her eyes. “We’ll talk about that part later. Now, the Senghavi have been mentioning this ‘Imperium of Orion’ since their boots first touched Terran soil. We theorised that this civilisation was another instance of an Empire—one potentially competing with the Senghavi. They take tribute from your planet, an Isolate, without sharing any of their science or technology with you.
“When we heard about the Prey-for-Protection system, we thought it was cruel… but your species doesn’t seem to have a problem with it, and we figured we couldn’t assume that human morality applied to extraterrestrials. Do you think the carnivores could help us?”
My father froze. Even our driver looked uncomfortable.
“N-No, no. It’s best to avoid them. Well—they help us, yes. They are vessels of the Gods. But… Well, you do not fit nicely into the faith of Krucuv Mishan. You violate the order of nature merely by attempting to resist being civilised by the Senghavi. Orion is no more likely to aid you than Parimth.”
I almost wanted to say “you are much safer with us,” but I stopped myself. If the primates caught onto our selfishness, they might forsake us. We all feared they would, in the unlikely but nerve-wracking event that, come the day of tribute, the Imperium would want these newcomers to join their interstellar empire.
“The way that Empires brainwash Isolates,” Doctor Usman sighed, shaking her head. “It’s disgusting. You’re probably half-right, Your Majesty. I bet the Imperium wouldn’t want anything to do with a puny Isolate like humankind—and we are under the control of their rival, anyway. But you’re wrong if you think resisting an imperialist is against the ‘order of nature.’ You’re letting your own inferiority complex cloud your view of us. Don’t tell anyone I said this…. but the Imperium of Orion and the Parimthian Empire can go fuck themselves.”
Such vulgarity in the presence of the King! But I could feel the tension in the air relax. We’d swayed at least part of the crew of Erebus 2, at least for now.
Still, the other five primates were still aboard their spacecraft, zipping around in Denfall’s orbit at [27,000 kilometres per hour]. How we were to prevent them from falling into the fold of our carnivorous protectors, it was far less certain.
At last, we neared our destination. The Red Citadel is where my father crafts his royal decrees, consults with his justices and knights to enforce them, and holds royal courts to settle the disputes and pleas of nobles.
The lords of Parliament meet in Denfall Castle, which isn't far from the Red Citadel. Though they are vassals of the King, they've carefully manoeuvred over the years to force this “King’s Code” on my family. Nowadays, my father needs their consent to levy extraordinary taxes, and they can compel him to redress the grievances of other nobles.
The Red Citadel loomed in the distance as we approached in our luxury groundcar. Doctor Moore gave my paw a gentle squeeze in the glove of his environment suit. Through his visor, I could see his mouth falling open at the sight of the mighty Citadel. As of the time that I am writing this, I cannot think of a more memorable structure. It is protected on all sides with mighty walls of clay-red sandstone, ivy creeping along their sides, battlements lining their tops. And today, behind those battlements, snipers were posted to ensure the safety of our new diplomats.
Natural selection and evolution had pushed us herbivore Lamfu to run and hop away in fright from predatory threats, so that we might be more likely to survive and pass on our genes. That trait has forced us to become excellent at the art of the defensive fortification, from which we can snipe our enemies from afar! A rebellious noble attempting to lay siege to the Red Citadel wouldn't last a day.
Peeking above the walls are the spires and buttresses of the royal manor. Overlooking the manor is the abbey, its pinnacles reaching much further beyond the crenellated walls and towers. The abbey is decorated with stained glass windows and minarets, which overlook the glittering lakes and fruit orchards.
Like the surrounding walls, the abbey, manor, and other buildings are also built of red sandstone. In contrast, Denfall Castle, where the lords of Parliament invariably congress with one another, is beige like its namesake: this planet of ours itself, arid or semi-arid all over. Smaller than the Red Citadel, Denfall Castle is more of a singular fortification than a protected complex.
My tail and ears lifted with gentle happiness as I thought of the old Abbot Eli. He administers the affairs of the abbey—a monastery centred on the faith of Krucuv Mishan. One of the fondest memories from my childhood was Abbot Eli showing me the huge tapestry of Fenya the Brave, which hung in the great south hall of the abbey.
The legendary Lamfu woven into the tapestry was depicted with a sniper rifle slung over her shoulder, unfurling a scroll in her hands in order to reveal divine scripture. Before her was a horde of ignorant canids, serpents, and vulpines, not realising that a meagre herbivore was going to enlighten them as to the order of nature.
I could still feel Abbot Eli’s comforting paw on my shoulder as he described the legend, his aged voice echoing in my mind. In the face of certain death, Fenya the Brave wasn’t fearless—but in her passion to solve our overpopulation and the suffering it entailed, she had stood up against her fear.
The great iron portcullis of the Red Citadel was raised to permit entry of our luxury motorcade. My father was already talking excitedly about grand feasts and festivities. As my family and I disembarked, we escorted four Terrans through the courtyard: Doctor Usman, Doctor Moore, Doctor Kuznetsov, and Miss Malone.
“We’ve got plenty of plants and meats for you to enjoy!” my father declared. Sprinklers washed over the manicured grass, a subtle reminder of our semi-arid homeworld’s limited vegetation and water supply. “You are an omnivorous species, correct?”
For a moment, it didn’t look like anyone was going to reply, as every Terran was struggling to process my father’s offer. Finally, Doctor Moore broke the silence.
“That is correct. We can eat many things, but… I'm going to have to examine some food you bring to determine what we can eat.”
“You sure, Moore?” Doctor Usman asked, raising an eyebrow. It must have been a courtesy to us that she spoke in Circpi to her fellow Terran. “Shouldn’t we wait a lot longer? I mean, this is the first truly alien ecosystem known to mankind. We’ve only been here a day.”
“We were in orbit for many months. I am done having fear. And they are not kind towards us? I am confident with the science and examination I can do to determine what we can eat. At a minimum, one person has to… examine what happens when they eat the food, correct?”
I was certain Brother Mopsi—the old, plump chef of the Cavern Hallow below the great red abbey—had outdone himself. During the moon-periods since we’d learned it was likely that the primates could ingest our food, he and his Kitchen fellows had toiled relentlessly. In preparation for the feast my father had wanted, they had undoubtedly prepared enough wines, seafood, and pastries to feed the entire Red Citadel for [~1 week].
“Forgive me,” Princess Ilyafi chimed in as we approached the abbey’s sculpted bronze doors. “You all seem… dazed? Or is it just the grandeur of the Red Citadel? Are you in shock?”
“Yes, I think,” Miss Malone said, rubbing her comparatively dainty shoulders. (Apparently, she was a skilled pilot and aerospace engineer). “All this is very… fast.”
“You are omnivores, so I’m guessing you evolved as both prey and predator. We evolved as just prey, and we’re quite familiar with the cardiovascular effects of fright and anxiety. Sustained stress can lead to hypovolemic shock and heart failure. Are you sure you are okay?”
“We are very, of course okay,” Doctor Kuznetsov assured us. The pale-faced physicist chuckled faintly, brushing a bit of dust from his visor. “Us humans are stronger than that. But Erebus 2 went through space for thirty-one years. Half of that was a voyage to the entrance of a wormhole near the edge of our solar system. We searched for the life that the Senghavi do not reveal to us. I had a… mate, and a… litter of children. I leave and they are alone, without me.
“And then… we heard patterns in the neutrino detectors. Something that must be man-made. Alien-made. After, the months in orbit go fast. And now we are here. We did not yet remove our suits. Yet, we are walking into a big castle, and you already offer this big feast. It is just like a dream. I almost think I simply hallucinate in Erebus 2, in some far place in the Milky Way, light-years far from any alien life.”
Another pang of sympathy sank into my heart. To witness the fall of their species, and then to be separated from their kits and their mates by thousands of light-years, must have pained the primates beyond my imagination.
Right as we reached the abbey’s entrance, a distant rush of air and the tapering purr of anti-grav generators resonated through the atmosphere.
My heart dropped with the weight of an anvil. Us Lamfu rose to crouch on our hind legs with upright posture, our ears high in the air for alertness, while the Terrans just looked blankly at the sky. A dark and massive shape swept down through Denfall’s opaque cloud cover.
The Imperium of Orion is here.
As we watched dumbly from the courtyard, their ship dropped [100 kilometres] in a mere [60 seconds]. In contrast, the landing shuttle of Erebus 2 had taken [~25 minutes] to go from the boundary of the atmosphere all the way to its landing strip.
We soon could not see the ship beyond the battlements of the Red Citadel, but my father ordered the portcullis open in order to let our carnivorous protectors in. Doctor Moore’s eyebrows were pressed together, the Terran’s lipped mouth having gone somewhat limp.
The fright which this arrival inflicted upon me nearly put me into hypovolemic shock. I say such a thing for two reasons.
For one thing, it was unprecedented that the carnivores entered Denfall directly like this. They only took such an action on very special occasions. Usually, we sent the tribute to them by flying the victims of Prey-for-Protection out to their space stations ourselves.
And for the other, even when they did enter Denfall, I’d never actually seen one in person. Well, except for my glimpse of the Kursef diplomat, that frightful night as a child.
Yet here I was, watching a delegation of two more extraterrestrial species and one Denfalli species march into the courtyard. They had disregarded personal protection gear entirely. With such great exposure to the universe and such advanced technology, they were confident enough not to care about alien diseases.
Beyond the opened portcullis, the ship perched upon the sands outside the Red Citadel was a fortress of black stone, fringed with defensive bastions, its gun turrets peering through battlements. A dark bird of prey, into whose predatory talons I would soon be swept into.
“Jesus Christ,” Doctor Moore murmured, so quiet as to verge on inaudible. He absently dropped his bag of scientific instruments, seeming completely awestruck. “Usman, what are we looking at?”
“Empire,” Doctor Usman replied, her voice glassy.
“And three more confirmed extraterrestrial species,” Doctor Kuznetsov added. “And… our crew!”
Among the delegation of soldiers and dignitaries were two species I had previously not seen more than once: the serpentine Kursef and five more primate Terrans. There were also two species I’d never seen in person at all: the hulking, canid Warcs and the delicate, vulpine Pondwir.
“Hawthorne!” Doctor Usman yelled, her voice carrying across the courtyard. “What… What is this?”
One of the five primates within the delegation broke away from them, jogging towards our primates. He cut a curious figure in the grass, a slender biped in a moss-green EVA suit. He, too, was crying behind his visor. His eyes were red with tears. My gut felt a madness in those eyes.
The UN logo that was supposed to be on his shoulder looked like it had been painted over with the fang-on-star insignia of the Imperium of Orion.
“It is the culmination of these thirty-one years,” Hawthorne said to Doctor Usman, his voice breaking with emotion. He, too, spoke Circpi instead of English, but it was likely out of pressure from the carnivores, and not as a courtesy to us. “God has given it to us. We have braved the trials of space, and He has rewarded us. There really is another Empire, and it has taken our side!”
“What?” Doctor Usman asked. She glanced at my father, who shuffled uneasily. “What you’ve encountered is incredible, Hawthorne. What are these species?”
Hawthorne gestured at the delegation of soldier-protected dignitaries. “The Warcs are intelligent canid-like mammals. They evolved on this planet, adapting to hunt these Lamfu as their staple food source. It was by coevolution of predator and prey adaptations that both Warcs and Lamfu developed sapient intelligence.
“Then, there are the Kursef. They are serpent-like reptiles who swallow their prey whole—just like Earth snakes. It’s a remarkable example of convergent evolution! They are the ones who founded this Imperium.”
Imperium. The word seemed to stab Doctor Usman in the stomach. She looked at my father again, her eyes as hard as rock.
“I thought… you said they wouldn’t aid us?” she asked.
But my father, the King of us Lamfu, was silent in his shame.
“Then, the Pondwir,” Doctor Hawthorne went on. I assumed he should bear the title Doctor; the humans considered such a word to be a title, and he seemed to know as much about biology as Doctor Moore. “They are vulpine-like mammals who were nearly hunted to extinction by the colonisers. By the Senghavi. Their hides were coveted for the softness of their fur.”
“Hunting sapient beings?” Doctor Usman huffed. ”The Senghavi just keep getting better and better.”
As the rest of the delegation caught up, my ears perked up with that sort of stress and anxiety which is amplified through millions of years of coevolution at the near-bottom of the food web.
I did not mind the Pondwir, and might in fact have felt fascinated by them. They were far shorter and daintier than primates, despite their ecological role as carnivores.
The limbless, emotionless Kursef gave me chills, though that fright was more likely rooted in my childhood sighting of a Kursef than anything else. Indeed, they were animals who fed on prey, but they were too different from mammalian life to have imbued an innate fear within me. That my fear of them was somewhat of a learned, paranormal one, rather than a rational one, was comforting, in a way.
But the Warcs… Just as my anxiety was one swollen through millions of years’ worth of drawing adaptations from random mutations in a nightmarish evolutionary arms race, so, too, were their hunting adaptations. In muscle and body mass, the canid Warcs surpassed the primates threefold. The fright they caused me was neither learned nor fantastical. It was primal, an unshakeable decree by the state of nature; a feeling as natural as hunger, thirst, mating, or self-preservation.
The Warcs and us Lamfu are what we are because of each other.
The blind watchmaker selected for us our sensitive ears and wide eyesight to detect the Warcs. The Warcs evolved razor-sharp smell and keen vision to track us down. We passed on genes for powerful, digitigrade hind legs to flee them. They evolved an athletic, durable body to pursue us. Those of us with camouflage to hide for our lives were then the ones to survive and reproduce. Yet the Warcs, too, evolved camouflage to hunt so they would not starve. We rose above our animalism into a sense of reason in order to better protect ourselves. They evolved their own sense of reason, so that they might create tools to hunt and live.
In that sense, we and the Warcs owe our lives to one another. It is basic primary-school knowledge that both species attempted coexistence for millennia. Both sides did their best, truly. And both sides screwed up. The Red Citadel is built in the very metropolis that once shone as the crowning jewel of coexistence, partnership, and peace between predator and prey.
Yet, in the end, we proved we were all merely animals. The Warcs’ exodus from Denfall, into the dark infinity of space, is among the most significant and complex chapters in Denfalli history.
Perhaps the primates were lucky, in that they did not share a homeworld with the Senghavi. Their civilization had suffered a fatal devastation, indeed, but they had the privilege of a black-and-white world.
After all, I could only imagine the confused moral state in which the humans would find themselves, had they suddenly needed to grapple with the idea that the Senghavi had originated from Earth.
I huddled closer to Doctor Moore, instinctively reaching to grab his tail for support—only to remember the primates had lost their tails millions of years ago. In an action I construed as protectiveness, he positioned himself in front of me.
“A single Pondwir hide was worth the equivalent of trillions of euros,” Doctor Hawthorne said solemnly. “When the Pondwir tried to resist their slaughter at the hands of the colonisers, their homeworld was glassed by the Parimthian Crown. But the Kursef and Warcs lifted them from the ashes. Together, they are the Imperium of Orion—and we can join, too!”
Doctor Usman looked uneasily at the towering Warc ambassador, shaking in her environment suit. She lifted a hand to gesture to the opaque sky. “S-slow down! If you’re all here, then who the hell is operating Erebus 2?”
“Erebus 2 is meaningless now. Don’t you see? We are talking about a civilisation that produces [400 trillion terawatt-hours] of energy in one hour. Their ships number in the hundreds of thousands, just like the Senghavi. Their reach spans thousands of light-years. We’re saved, Usman. All of us.”
Flanked by soldiers, the colossal Warc ambassador took a menacing step forward. My father might have perished of heart failure right then and there. The Warc’s dark fur accentuated his gleaming yellow eyes. “My Princess is as beautiful as always, Your… Majesty. Indeed, her devourment will so glorify the order of nature, she alone will earn Paradise for thousands of your people!”
“My” Princess? As always? I shouldn’t have been surprised that the Warcs knew so much more about us than we knew about them, but the focus on me by a creature I’d never seen made me squirm in my personal protection suit.
“Yes, yes; it seems as such,” the Kursef diplomat hissed, its side-facing eyes like orbs of cold-blooded glass. “What a glorious day it has been! We are not only treated to royal flesh and bone, but we have finally seen a proper introduction to these fascinating primates.”
My father struggled to find his voice. “Y-You were not… Supposed to arrive, until… W-Why are you here so soon?”
“The human tribes of Earth may be snivelling, pagan things so far,” the Warc announced heartily, “but the Senghavi missed out on something big. Something big indeed! This species is full of fire, Your Majesty. We didn’t realise how brightly they burned with potential.”
At this point, all members of the Royal Security Service had scampered away. In my tense nerves, I had forgotten that they were even here. My siblings remained, however, and Ilyafi spoke up. She had always been the bravest of us.
“We will remember my sister as more than a sacrifice,” she said defiantly. “We will celebrate her devourment as the holy will of Nisma and Unatl, but we will celebrate her life and her memory in kind.”
“Hawthorne,” Doctor Usman said steadily. “These creatures constitute an Empire. They don’t care for Isolates. We are Astronaut-Ambassadors who represent the UN. They practise expansionism, conquest, and murder on a galactic scale. The values of the Charter of the United Nations are incompatible with such a civilisation.”
Doctor Hawthorne’s gaze hardened. “We travelled for thirty-one years for the salvation of all mankind. I watched my children grow up from light-years away—and for what, if not this? This is a gift from God, Usman. The Senghavi were merely His wrath upon a godless, decadent humanity. This is His forgiveness. This is His Grace.”
“If you want to bring faith into this, Hawthorne… Doctor Moore considers himself ‘saved,’ just like you. But he will back me.”
The remaining crew members of Erebus 2 stood securely among the delegation of carnivores. As Doctor Usman and Doctor Hawthorne stared each other down, I found myself hugging the leg of Doctor Moore’s environment suit.
Now, I truly understood my species’ galacto-political selfishness. Doctor Moore wouldn’t leave me for the Imperium… Would he?
“And what of the embryos, Hawthorne? We can’t take any risks, and we know next to nothing about extraterrestrial society and psychology. I am the commander of Erebus 2, and I won’t allow their seizure at the hands of these… these imperialists!”
“We cannot make a… rash choice,” Doctor Moore added, his emotions only highlighting his poor proficiency in Circpi. “Seeing the… way, the character of the Imperium is easy, just through seeing their actions and their manners. We cannot… insult their evils, if we do those evils to… other Isolates. And Usman is right. We are still the UN.”
“Half, then,” Doctor Hawthorne breathed. “You might still fancy yourselves as UN employees, but we don’t. The number of embryos is intentionally redundant. You take 10,000. We’ll take the other half. Just—please—don’t try to stop us.”
Then, to everyone’s shock, Doctor Hawthorne drew steady, confident hands towards the neckline of his helmet. He manipulated its various clips and devices with those dexterous primate fingers the humans had. His grey-irised eyes were closed as he undid the final latches, and the helmet jerked upward slightly, jets of oxygen puffing out from the neckline.
At that moment, those grey-irised eyes snapped open, their gaze suddenly bleeding with fear. His legs and gloved fingers were trembling, devoid of the bravery that seemed to have once been coursing through his veins just seconds ago. He looked uneasily at his crewmates while lifting the helmet, its various lights and indicators blinking out as the wires were disconnected from the suit.
He took a deep, sighing breath, letting our planet’s warm, dry air pour into his respiratory system. His eyes never left his crewmates, who still seemed on-edge, despite the ease with which he breathed.
“Okay, Hawthorne,” Doctor Usman replied softly. “Half. Let’s start there. And let’s talk about this in the abbey.”
“If it is your wish to bless the unblessed sands of this simpering pit that is Denfall with 10,000 more of you,” the Kursef ambassador purred, “that is your call. But as our vulpine companions can attest, the galaxy is an undulating, unruly tide. It can be hard to predict the steady future into which the Gods have offered for you to settle.
“Your rightful place, humanity, is at the top. But don’t consider it a fate unto which you will tend regardless of where you start. Only our Imperium can provide you with the proper conditions such that you can endure your hardship with faith in your deliverance. Such is the order of nature.”
“Krucuv Mishan,” Doctor Kuznetsov murmured. As he was a physicist, I wasn’t surprised he could recognize the maths-infused patterns of our religious faith within the Kursef’s spiel. “You used it to have dominance over the Lamfu. Now, you want to have dominance over us, too.”
“Don’t shirk this opportunity, primates,” the Pondwir ambassador said softly. “My people understand your quiet rage.”
Everyone looked at the Pondwir, even my family and I. He seemed full of sympathy. Only a little taller than us, it was the first time the short little creature had spoken since the delegation entered the courtyard of the Red Citadel.
The Warc diplomat froze me in his gaze. Hunger—both as the physiological adaptation of an apex predator, and as the lust for dominance over others that exists in all sapient beings—burned with the heat of molten gold in his yellow eyes. “We have someone to take before you go through those doors… Doctor Moore. The beauteous and maidenly Princess Elita is mine, not yours!”
Defiant, my primate companion stood between the Warc and I, while my father whimpered.
“Look towards this, Hawthorne,” Doctor Moore cried. “We are part of the UN. We promote rights of humans. This is not rights of humans! This is not life or liberty, or the idea that God creates all equal! This is a second-class citizen and murder that the law allows!”
“‘Equality,’ ‘liberty,’ ‘sapient rights,’ and ‘sapientism’ are mere colonialist ideals imposed upon your species by the decadent Senghavi colonists,” the Kursef ambassador hissed. “You already know they manipulated and perverted your history. Don’t bend your knee to your oppressors.”
The manicured grass left my polyethylene boots as Doctor Moore lifted me from the ground, backing away from the massive Warc. The Warc snarled, hackles raising.
A hairless mammal with hardly any natural weapons at all was stealing the prey—me—of a carnivore that had evolved specifically to kill and feast upon organisms like us. The tears in my eyes blurred my surroundings.
Doctor Moore didn’t stand a chance—and given the chilling words of these diplomats from the Imperium of Orion, neither, I thought, did Doctor Usman’s side of Erebus 2.
submitted by Reptani to HFY [link] [comments]
“The gorgeous pageant has passed — the roar of battle has ceased — the multitude has sunk in the dust — the empire is extinct."
– Thomas Cole
Catalogue Description: Diary of Princess Elita sif Panya of the Lamfu Protectorate, Log 4 - English Translation
Date: 0-Pacpuf-436 (Panyan Royal Calendar) November 20th, 2162 (Gregorian Calendar)
Held by: The UK National Archives, Kew
Legal status: Public Record(s)
Apparently, there were thousands of frozen primate embryos aboard Erebus 2.
The disease, famine, and conquest which the Senghavi had inflicted upon the Terran civilization—whether intentional or not—had been devastating. Their “United Nations” had worried that humanity might fall below a minimum viable population. In equipping Erebus 2 with frozen embryos and Senghavi habitat fabrication technology, they had hoped to restart their civilization away from the prying eyes of the Crown.
It was true that, like the carnivores, the Senghavi were a species for whom the Gods had modelled an exponentially-increasing evolution of resources and energy. But even they would have trouble spotting a single, cloaked spacecraft amid the infinitude of space. Erebus 2 was meant to deliver humanity out of the darkness by ferrying its frozen offspring into the vast black of the cosmos—hence the mission name, an ancient Terran deity which personified darkness itself.
“This ‘Wormhole Empire Theory’ is… consistent with the theories of the secularists and sapientists within our scientific community,” my father replied. “You would call us an ‘Isolate,’ and the carnivores, an ‘Empire.’ I assume you did not want to… offend our religious sensibilities, so publicly over the video feed.”
“Well, you people seem to really like ‘the order of nature,’" Doctor Usman said abashedly. "But the moment that a species becomes advanced enough to punch through the fabric of space-time, then seize resources and planets at an exponential rate, seems a lot more like an unstable ‘equilibrium’ than a natural, stable one. I’m not sure if it’s compatible with what you… think of your Gods.”
“Do you have an understanding of how these wormholes are created?” my father asked. “You went through one to get here. Did you create it with stolen technology, or did you use one that had already been made?”
“The latter, Your Majesty. We believe a species becomes an Empire when it is able to use quantum entanglement and negative energy to puncture vast distances of space with wormholes. That sort of thing is… far beyond the capabilities of mankind, even before we were colonised.
“The physical details behind it aren’t really my area of study. I can tell you it involves fields of negative energy density, and I think they somehow use threads of quantum information stretched between quarks and antiquarks. There’s something in there about an electric field and a fourth dimension… You’ll have to ask Doctor Kuznetsov when we all meet up at the Red Citadel. He’s one of the most brilliant physicists our species has to offer.”
The semi-arid plains seemed to flow like a river as our police-escorted motorcade sped along the expressway. Electric aircraft crawled lazily through the opaque atmosphere, while colossal harvesters extracted aluminium and gallium-rich minerals near the Denfalli surface. Apparently, relative to Denfall, Earth had a less-dense planetary crust and a more heterogeneous distribution of metals. In order to access their own resources, the native Terrans had needed to resort to bombs and drills, forcing deep pits and shafts into their planet.
That was, if one believed that they had once had a complex society at all, as I did.
“Half of our thirty-one year journey was spent verifying the existence of, and searching for, a wormhole we theorised was orbiting Neptune—the eighth planet from our sun. We’d detected its gravitational effects and its distortion of light, and we thought that an error in the Senghavi’s cloaking technology must have exposed the structure’s throat. We had no idea where it led, but… we went through anyway. Thought had to be life on the other side. Maybe someone that could help us.”
The realisation hit me like a sudden noise, making me jump in my seat, and my heart flared in my chest. “You found a real-life wormhole in your solar system, and you went through without any idea of what was on the other side? That must have been terrifying! You could have ended up… in another galaxy, or at the edge of the universe, or something!”
Through his visor, I could see Doctor Moore’s face become sorrowful. Doctor Usman had the best grasp of Circpi, being the crew’s linguistic expert, but the other primates’ clumsier, more thickly-accented hold on our language was more interesting to listen to.
“That was not the hardest part,” said the dark-skinned biologist. “We were desperate. What made us more afraid... it was the situation of our species; the extinction of our culture and our sovereignty. And the distance away from our families... of my daughter. I want her to live in a better world, but it's not... easy, to be so far from my daughter, on a planet thousands of light-years away from Earth. It's not easy, being far away in space, when my daughter lives without her father for thirty-one years.
“When... We hear your conversations for the first time... Your communication that you have by neutrinos ... It was a sensation, an emotion, like no other. Finally, we had found extraterrestrial life! If I have to, I would travel a hundred times, again, through mysterious tunnels in space, just for this discovery. You are the greatest scientific discovery in the entire history of mankind.”
“Thirty-one years!” I exclaimed. “How long is your lifespan in the first place?”
“Most humans live to about seventy-two years on average,” Doctor Usman replied, suddenly seeming just as sullen as Doctor Moore. “Most of us left Earth in our early thirties. We’re over sixty now. Before our comms system failed, I kept in touch with the love of my life. Watched him age, as I did. My last message from him… I hold it close to my heart.”
The sheer isolation and loneliness of the Erebus 2 mission was difficult to wrap my mind around. Doctor Moore’s small, binocular eyes were moist and red. It seemed that crying was an emotional response in the primates, just like us!
I huddled next to Doctor Moore, putting my plastic-bound paw on his glove. I didn’t know what else I should do to comfort an extraterrestrial, so I resorted to physical affection, as is the habit of us Lamfu. To my surprise, the primate rubbed me behind the ears. Despite the barrier of polypropylene against synthetic fibres, his firm touch sent a tingly sensation down my skull and spine, and I leaned into it.
Through natural selection, us Lamfu evolved tall, sensitive ears to detect predators lurking in the wilderness, so that we might be more likely to survive and pass on our genes. Thus, we had a lot of nerve endings in those regions. Perhaps human fingers could stimulate them in a way our paws could not? It was all the more reason to sway our desperate extraterrestrial friends away from the far more impressive Imperium!
“We’d never be able to take on such a task,” the King said solemnly. “I can’t imagine many would. The carnivores and mantids must not be entirely right about you. We thought that, due to being palaeolithic hunter-gatherers, your species would have been barbaric and violent. But your lack of technology and connection with your primal nature has clearly made you more humble and honourable than us supposedly ‘civilised’ folk! You are, in a sense, noble savages!”
I knew he meant it as a complement, but it only seemed to anger Doctor Usman.
“We’re not… nevermind!” she snapped, blinking tears from her eyes. “We’ll talk about that part later. Now, the Senghavi have been mentioning this ‘Imperium of Orion’ since their boots first touched Terran soil. We theorised that this civilisation was another instance of an Empire—one potentially competing with the Senghavi. They take tribute from your planet, an Isolate, without sharing any of their science or technology with you.
“When we heard about the Prey-for-Protection system, we thought it was cruel… but your species doesn’t seem to have a problem with it, and we figured we couldn’t assume that human morality applied to extraterrestrials. Do you think the carnivores could help us?”
My father froze. Even our driver looked uncomfortable.
“N-No, no. It’s best to avoid them. Well—they help us, yes. They are vessels of the Gods. But… Well, you do not fit nicely into the faith of Krucuv Mishan. You violate the order of nature merely by attempting to resist being civilised by the Senghavi. Orion is no more likely to aid you than Parimth.”
I almost wanted to say “you are much safer with us,” but I stopped myself. If the primates caught onto our selfishness, they might forsake us. We all feared they would, in the unlikely but nerve-wracking event that, come the day of tribute, the Imperium would want these newcomers to join their interstellar empire.
“The way that Empires brainwash Isolates,” Doctor Usman sighed, shaking her head. “It’s disgusting. You’re probably half-right, Your Majesty. I bet the Imperium wouldn’t want anything to do with a puny Isolate like humankind—and we are under the control of their rival, anyway. But you’re wrong if you think resisting an imperialist is against the ‘order of nature.’ You’re letting your own inferiority complex cloud your view of us. Don’t tell anyone I said this…. but the Imperium of Orion and the Parimthian Empire can go fuck themselves.”
Such vulgarity in the presence of the King! But I could feel the tension in the air relax. We’d swayed at least part of the crew of Erebus 2, at least for now.
Still, the other five primates were still aboard their spacecraft, zipping around in Denfall’s orbit at [27,000 kilometres per hour]. How we were to prevent them from falling into the fold of our carnivorous protectors, it was far less certain.
At last, we neared our destination. The Red Citadel is where my father crafts his royal decrees, consults with his justices and knights to enforce them, and holds royal courts to settle the disputes and pleas of nobles.
The lords of Parliament meet in Denfall Castle, which isn't far from the Red Citadel. Though they are vassals of the King, they've carefully manoeuvred over the years to force this “King’s Code” on my family. Nowadays, my father needs their consent to levy extraordinary taxes, and they can compel him to redress the grievances of other nobles.
The Red Citadel loomed in the distance as we approached in our luxury groundcar. Doctor Moore gave my paw a gentle squeeze in the glove of his environment suit. Through his visor, I could see his mouth falling open at the sight of the mighty Citadel. As of the time that I am writing this, I cannot think of a more memorable structure. It is protected on all sides with mighty walls of clay-red sandstone, ivy creeping along their sides, battlements lining their tops. And today, behind those battlements, snipers were posted to ensure the safety of our new diplomats.
Natural selection and evolution had pushed us herbivore Lamfu to run and hop away in fright from predatory threats, so that we might be more likely to survive and pass on our genes. That trait has forced us to become excellent at the art of the defensive fortification, from which we can snipe our enemies from afar! A rebellious noble attempting to lay siege to the Red Citadel wouldn't last a day.
Peeking above the walls are the spires and buttresses of the royal manor. Overlooking the manor is the abbey, its pinnacles reaching much further beyond the crenellated walls and towers. The abbey is decorated with stained glass windows and minarets, which overlook the glittering lakes and fruit orchards.
Like the surrounding walls, the abbey, manor, and other buildings are also built of red sandstone. In contrast, Denfall Castle, where the lords of Parliament invariably congress with one another, is beige like its namesake: this planet of ours itself, arid or semi-arid all over. Smaller than the Red Citadel, Denfall Castle is more of a singular fortification than a protected complex.
My tail and ears lifted with gentle happiness as I thought of the old Abbot Eli. He administers the affairs of the abbey—a monastery centred on the faith of Krucuv Mishan. One of the fondest memories from my childhood was Abbot Eli showing me the huge tapestry of Fenya the Brave, which hung in the great south hall of the abbey.
The legendary Lamfu woven into the tapestry was depicted with a sniper rifle slung over her shoulder, unfurling a scroll in her hands in order to reveal divine scripture. Before her was a horde of ignorant canids, serpents, and vulpines, not realising that a meagre herbivore was going to enlighten them as to the order of nature.
I could still feel Abbot Eli’s comforting paw on my shoulder as he described the legend, his aged voice echoing in my mind. In the face of certain death, Fenya the Brave wasn’t fearless—but in her passion to solve our overpopulation and the suffering it entailed, she had stood up against her fear.
The great iron portcullis of the Red Citadel was raised to permit entry of our luxury motorcade. My father was already talking excitedly about grand feasts and festivities. As my family and I disembarked, we escorted four Terrans through the courtyard: Doctor Usman, Doctor Moore, Doctor Kuznetsov, and Miss Malone.
“We’ve got plenty of plants and meats for you to enjoy!” my father declared. Sprinklers washed over the manicured grass, a subtle reminder of our semi-arid homeworld’s limited vegetation and water supply. “You are an omnivorous species, correct?”
For a moment, it didn’t look like anyone was going to reply, as every Terran was struggling to process my father’s offer. Finally, Doctor Moore broke the silence.
“That is correct. We can eat many things, but… I'm going to have to examine some food you bring to determine what we can eat.”
“You sure, Moore?” Doctor Usman asked, raising an eyebrow. It must have been a courtesy to us that she spoke in Circpi to her fellow Terran. “Shouldn’t we wait a lot longer? I mean, this is the first truly alien ecosystem known to mankind. We’ve only been here a day.”
“We were in orbit for many months. I am done having fear. And they are not kind towards us? I am confident with the science and examination I can do to determine what we can eat. At a minimum, one person has to… examine what happens when they eat the food, correct?”
I was certain Brother Mopsi—the old, plump chef of the Cavern Hallow below the great red abbey—had outdone himself. During the moon-periods since we’d learned it was likely that the primates could ingest our food, he and his Kitchen fellows had toiled relentlessly. In preparation for the feast my father had wanted, they had undoubtedly prepared enough wines, seafood, and pastries to feed the entire Red Citadel for [~1 week].
“Forgive me,” Princess Ilyafi chimed in as we approached the abbey’s sculpted bronze doors. “You all seem… dazed? Or is it just the grandeur of the Red Citadel? Are you in shock?”
“Yes, I think,” Miss Malone said, rubbing her comparatively dainty shoulders. (Apparently, she was a skilled pilot and aerospace engineer). “All this is very… fast.”
“You are omnivores, so I’m guessing you evolved as both prey and predator. We evolved as just prey, and we’re quite familiar with the cardiovascular effects of fright and anxiety. Sustained stress can lead to hypovolemic shock and heart failure. Are you sure you are okay?”
“We are very, of course okay,” Doctor Kuznetsov assured us. The pale-faced physicist chuckled faintly, brushing a bit of dust from his visor. “Us humans are stronger than that. But Erebus 2 went through space for thirty-one years. Half of that was a voyage to the entrance of a wormhole near the edge of our solar system. We searched for the life that the Senghavi do not reveal to us. I had a… mate, and a… litter of children. I leave and they are alone, without me.
“And then… we heard patterns in the neutrino detectors. Something that must be man-made. Alien-made. After, the months in orbit go fast. And now we are here. We did not yet remove our suits. Yet, we are walking into a big castle, and you already offer this big feast. It is just like a dream. I almost think I simply hallucinate in Erebus 2, in some far place in the Milky Way, light-years far from any alien life.”
Another pang of sympathy sank into my heart. To witness the fall of their species, and then to be separated from their kits and their mates by thousands of light-years, must have pained the primates beyond my imagination.
Right as we reached the abbey’s entrance, a distant rush of air and the tapering purr of anti-grav generators resonated through the atmosphere.
My heart dropped with the weight of an anvil. Us Lamfu rose to crouch on our hind legs with upright posture, our ears high in the air for alertness, while the Terrans just looked blankly at the sky. A dark and massive shape swept down through Denfall’s opaque cloud cover.
The Imperium of Orion is here.
As we watched dumbly from the courtyard, their ship dropped [100 kilometres] in a mere [60 seconds]. In contrast, the landing shuttle of Erebus 2 had taken [~25 minutes] to go from the boundary of the atmosphere all the way to its landing strip.
We soon could not see the ship beyond the battlements of the Red Citadel, but my father ordered the portcullis open in order to let our carnivorous protectors in. Doctor Moore’s eyebrows were pressed together, the Terran’s lipped mouth having gone somewhat limp.
The fright which this arrival inflicted upon me nearly put me into hypovolemic shock. I say such a thing for two reasons.
For one thing, it was unprecedented that the carnivores entered Denfall directly like this. They only took such an action on very special occasions. Usually, we sent the tribute to them by flying the victims of Prey-for-Protection out to their space stations ourselves.
And for the other, even when they did enter Denfall, I’d never actually seen one in person. Well, except for my glimpse of the Kursef diplomat, that frightful night as a child.
Yet here I was, watching a delegation of two more extraterrestrial species and one Denfalli species march into the courtyard. They had disregarded personal protection gear entirely. With such great exposure to the universe and such advanced technology, they were confident enough not to care about alien diseases.
Beyond the opened portcullis, the ship perched upon the sands outside the Red Citadel was a fortress of black stone, fringed with defensive bastions, its gun turrets peering through battlements. A dark bird of prey, into whose predatory talons I would soon be swept into.
“Jesus Christ,” Doctor Moore murmured, so quiet as to verge on inaudible. He absently dropped his bag of scientific instruments, seeming completely awestruck. “Usman, what are we looking at?”
“Empire,” Doctor Usman replied, her voice glassy.
“And three more confirmed extraterrestrial species,” Doctor Kuznetsov added. “And… our crew!”
Among the delegation of soldiers and dignitaries were two species I had previously not seen more than once: the serpentine Kursef and five more primate Terrans. There were also two species I’d never seen in person at all: the hulking, canid Warcs and the delicate, vulpine Pondwir.
“Hawthorne!” Doctor Usman yelled, her voice carrying across the courtyard. “What… What is this?”
One of the five primates within the delegation broke away from them, jogging towards our primates. He cut a curious figure in the grass, a slender biped in a moss-green EVA suit. He, too, was crying behind his visor. His eyes were red with tears. My gut felt a madness in those eyes.
The UN logo that was supposed to be on his shoulder looked like it had been painted over with the fang-on-star insignia of the Imperium of Orion.
“It is the culmination of these thirty-one years,” Hawthorne said to Doctor Usman, his voice breaking with emotion. He, too, spoke Circpi instead of English, but it was likely out of pressure from the carnivores, and not as a courtesy to us. “God has given it to us. We have braved the trials of space, and He has rewarded us. There really is another Empire, and it has taken our side!”
“What?” Doctor Usman asked. She glanced at my father, who shuffled uneasily. “What you’ve encountered is incredible, Hawthorne. What are these species?”
Hawthorne gestured at the delegation of soldier-protected dignitaries. “The Warcs are intelligent canid-like mammals. They evolved on this planet, adapting to hunt these Lamfu as their staple food source. It was by coevolution of predator and prey adaptations that both Warcs and Lamfu developed sapient intelligence.
“Then, there are the Kursef. They are serpent-like reptiles who swallow their prey whole—just like Earth snakes. It’s a remarkable example of convergent evolution! They are the ones who founded this Imperium.”
Imperium. The word seemed to stab Doctor Usman in the stomach. She looked at my father again, her eyes as hard as rock.
“I thought… you said they wouldn’t aid us?” she asked.
But my father, the King of us Lamfu, was silent in his shame.
“Then, the Pondwir,” Doctor Hawthorne went on. I assumed he should bear the title Doctor; the humans considered such a word to be a title, and he seemed to know as much about biology as Doctor Moore. “They are vulpine-like mammals who were nearly hunted to extinction by the colonisers. By the Senghavi. Their hides were coveted for the softness of their fur.”
“Hunting sapient beings?” Doctor Usman huffed. ”The Senghavi just keep getting better and better.”
As the rest of the delegation caught up, my ears perked up with that sort of stress and anxiety which is amplified through millions of years of coevolution at the near-bottom of the food web.
I did not mind the Pondwir, and might in fact have felt fascinated by them. They were far shorter and daintier than primates, despite their ecological role as carnivores.
The limbless, emotionless Kursef gave me chills, though that fright was more likely rooted in my childhood sighting of a Kursef than anything else. Indeed, they were animals who fed on prey, but they were too different from mammalian life to have imbued an innate fear within me. That my fear of them was somewhat of a learned, paranormal one, rather than a rational one, was comforting, in a way.
But the Warcs… Just as my anxiety was one swollen through millions of years’ worth of drawing adaptations from random mutations in a nightmarish evolutionary arms race, so, too, were their hunting adaptations. In muscle and body mass, the canid Warcs surpassed the primates threefold. The fright they caused me was neither learned nor fantastical. It was primal, an unshakeable decree by the state of nature; a feeling as natural as hunger, thirst, mating, or self-preservation.
The Warcs and us Lamfu are what we are because of each other.
The blind watchmaker selected for us our sensitive ears and wide eyesight to detect the Warcs. The Warcs evolved razor-sharp smell and keen vision to track us down. We passed on genes for powerful, digitigrade hind legs to flee them. They evolved an athletic, durable body to pursue us. Those of us with camouflage to hide for our lives were then the ones to survive and reproduce. Yet the Warcs, too, evolved camouflage to hunt so they would not starve. We rose above our animalism into a sense of reason in order to better protect ourselves. They evolved their own sense of reason, so that they might create tools to hunt and live.
In that sense, we and the Warcs owe our lives to one another. It is basic primary-school knowledge that both species attempted coexistence for millennia. Both sides did their best, truly. And both sides screwed up. The Red Citadel is built in the very metropolis that once shone as the crowning jewel of coexistence, partnership, and peace between predator and prey.
Yet, in the end, we proved we were all merely animals. The Warcs’ exodus from Denfall, into the dark infinity of space, is among the most significant and complex chapters in Denfalli history.
Perhaps the primates were lucky, in that they did not share a homeworld with the Senghavi. Their civilization had suffered a fatal devastation, indeed, but they had the privilege of a black-and-white world.
After all, I could only imagine the confused moral state in which the humans would find themselves, had they suddenly needed to grapple with the idea that the Senghavi had originated from Earth.
I huddled closer to Doctor Moore, instinctively reaching to grab his tail for support—only to remember the primates had lost their tails millions of years ago. In an action I construed as protectiveness, he positioned himself in front of me.
“A single Pondwir hide was worth the equivalent of trillions of euros,” Doctor Hawthorne said solemnly. “When the Pondwir tried to resist their slaughter at the hands of the colonisers, their homeworld was glassed by the Parimthian Crown. But the Kursef and Warcs lifted them from the ashes. Together, they are the Imperium of Orion—and we can join, too!”
Doctor Usman looked uneasily at the towering Warc ambassador, shaking in her environment suit. She lifted a hand to gesture to the opaque sky. “S-slow down! If you’re all here, then who the hell is operating Erebus 2?”
“Erebus 2 is meaningless now. Don’t you see? We are talking about a civilisation that produces [400 trillion terawatt-hours] of energy in one hour. Their ships number in the hundreds of thousands, just like the Senghavi. Their reach spans thousands of light-years. We’re saved, Usman. All of us.”
Flanked by soldiers, the colossal Warc ambassador took a menacing step forward. My father might have perished of heart failure right then and there. The Warc’s dark fur accentuated his gleaming yellow eyes. “My Princess is as beautiful as always, Your… Majesty. Indeed, her devourment will so glorify the order of nature, she alone will earn Paradise for thousands of your people!”
“My” Princess? As always? I shouldn’t have been surprised that the Warcs knew so much more about us than we knew about them, but the focus on me by a creature I’d never seen made me squirm in my personal protection suit.
“Yes, yes; it seems as such,” the Kursef diplomat hissed, its side-facing eyes like orbs of cold-blooded glass. “What a glorious day it has been! We are not only treated to royal flesh and bone, but we have finally seen a proper introduction to these fascinating primates.”
My father struggled to find his voice. “Y-You were not… Supposed to arrive, until… W-Why are you here so soon?”
“The human tribes of Earth may be snivelling, pagan things so far,” the Warc announced heartily, “but the Senghavi missed out on something big. Something big indeed! This species is full of fire, Your Majesty. We didn’t realise how brightly they burned with potential.”
At this point, all members of the Royal Security Service had scampered away. In my tense nerves, I had forgotten that they were even here. My siblings remained, however, and Ilyafi spoke up. She had always been the bravest of us.
“We will remember my sister as more than a sacrifice,” she said defiantly. “We will celebrate her devourment as the holy will of Nisma and Unatl, but we will celebrate her life and her memory in kind.”
“Hawthorne,” Doctor Usman said steadily. “These creatures constitute an Empire. They don’t care for Isolates. We are Astronaut-Ambassadors who represent the UN. They practise expansionism, conquest, and murder on a galactic scale. The values of the Charter of the United Nations are incompatible with such a civilisation.”
Doctor Hawthorne’s gaze hardened. “We travelled for thirty-one years for the salvation of all mankind. I watched my children grow up from light-years away—and for what, if not this? This is a gift from God, Usman. The Senghavi were merely His wrath upon a godless, decadent humanity. This is His forgiveness. This is His Grace.”
“If you want to bring faith into this, Hawthorne… Doctor Moore considers himself ‘saved,’ just like you. But he will back me.”
The remaining crew members of Erebus 2 stood securely among the delegation of carnivores. As Doctor Usman and Doctor Hawthorne stared each other down, I found myself hugging the leg of Doctor Moore’s environment suit.
Now, I truly understood my species’ galacto-political selfishness. Doctor Moore wouldn’t leave me for the Imperium… Would he?
“And what of the embryos, Hawthorne? We can’t take any risks, and we know next to nothing about extraterrestrial society and psychology. I am the commander of Erebus 2, and I won’t allow their seizure at the hands of these… these imperialists!”
“We cannot make a… rash choice,” Doctor Moore added, his emotions only highlighting his poor proficiency in Circpi. “Seeing the… way, the character of the Imperium is easy, just through seeing their actions and their manners. We cannot… insult their evils, if we do those evils to… other Isolates. And Usman is right. We are still the UN.”
“Half, then,” Doctor Hawthorne breathed. “You might still fancy yourselves as UN employees, but we don’t. The number of embryos is intentionally redundant. You take 10,000. We’ll take the other half. Just—please—don’t try to stop us.”
Then, to everyone’s shock, Doctor Hawthorne drew steady, confident hands towards the neckline of his helmet. He manipulated its various clips and devices with those dexterous primate fingers the humans had. His grey-irised eyes were closed as he undid the final latches, and the helmet jerked upward slightly, jets of oxygen puffing out from the neckline.
At that moment, those grey-irised eyes snapped open, their gaze suddenly bleeding with fear. His legs and gloved fingers were trembling, devoid of the bravery that seemed to have once been coursing through his veins just seconds ago. He looked uneasily at his crewmates while lifting the helmet, its various lights and indicators blinking out as the wires were disconnected from the suit.
He took a deep, sighing breath, letting our planet’s warm, dry air pour into his respiratory system. His eyes never left his crewmates, who still seemed on-edge, despite the ease with which he breathed.
“Okay, Hawthorne,” Doctor Usman replied softly. “Half. Let’s start there. And let’s talk about this in the abbey.”
“If it is your wish to bless the unblessed sands of this simpering pit that is Denfall with 10,000 more of you,” the Kursef ambassador purred, “that is your call. But as our vulpine companions can attest, the galaxy is an undulating, unruly tide. It can be hard to predict the steady future into which the Gods have offered for you to settle.
“Your rightful place, humanity, is at the top. But don’t consider it a fate unto which you will tend regardless of where you start. Only our Imperium can provide you with the proper conditions such that you can endure your hardship with faith in your deliverance. Such is the order of nature.”
“Krucuv Mishan,” Doctor Kuznetsov murmured. As he was a physicist, I wasn’t surprised he could recognize the maths-infused patterns of our religious faith within the Kursef’s spiel. “You used it to have dominance over the Lamfu. Now, you want to have dominance over us, too.”
“Don’t shirk this opportunity, primates,” the Pondwir ambassador said softly. “My people understand your quiet rage.”
Everyone looked at the Pondwir, even my family and I. He seemed full of sympathy. Only a little taller than us, it was the first time the short little creature had spoken since the delegation entered the courtyard of the Red Citadel.
The Warc diplomat froze me in his gaze. Hunger—both as the physiological adaptation of an apex predator, and as the lust for dominance over others that exists in all sapient beings—burned with the heat of molten gold in his yellow eyes. “We have someone to take before you go through those doors… Doctor Moore. The beauteous and maidenly Princess Elita is mine, not yours!”
Defiant, my primate companion stood between the Warc and I, while my father whimpered.
“Look towards this, Hawthorne,” Doctor Moore cried. “We are part of the UN. We promote rights of humans. This is not rights of humans! This is not life or liberty, or the idea that God creates all equal! This is a second-class citizen and murder that the law allows!”
“‘Equality,’ ‘liberty,’ ‘sapient rights,’ and ‘sapientism’ are mere colonialist ideals imposed upon your species by the decadent Senghavi colonists,” the Kursef ambassador hissed. “You already know they manipulated and perverted your history. Don’t bend your knee to your oppressors.”
The manicured grass left my polyethylene boots as Doctor Moore lifted me from the ground, backing away from the massive Warc. The Warc snarled, hackles raising.
A hairless mammal with hardly any natural weapons at all was stealing the prey—me—of a carnivore that had evolved specifically to kill and feast upon organisms like us. The tears in my eyes blurred my surroundings.
Doctor Moore didn’t stand a chance—and given the chilling words of these diplomats from the Imperium of Orion, neither, I thought, did Doctor Usman’s side of Erebus 2.
2023.03.26 03:08 -Stormforge- 2023-03-25. Episode 09 - The Last Hero's Hold, Recap
 | submitted by -Stormforge- to Stormforge [link] [comments] https://preview.redd.it/opqkpaa4hzpa1.png?width=765&format=png&auto=webp&s=51ba7f49424e25a3d90ee7709b5b0f0b84e73869 INTRO Dreams, visions, sqwaking ravens, and Grenda, they all compel the Thulen. The last Greenseer is calling them. That is why they are so far north. Dodging more of the dead armies. They ran out of meat a week ago, they have been surviving on packed rations and moss and mushrooms. They have finally arrived. A gnarled hill, guarded by the Children of the Forest. One skips up, "He has been waiting for you Menthings. Follow!" She skips into a hidden cave. Under the hill is a vast, silent cave system extending far below and home to more than three score living Children, and the bones of thousands dead. Its cramped and branching tunnels are full of weirwood roots. One echoing cavern is as large as a great hall and contains stalagmites and stalactites. Further on, the passage is littered with bones of birds and beasts, children of the forest, and giants. Skulls of various creatures are placed in stone niches in the walls. The cave has chambers full of bones, shafts that plunge deep into the earth, and a place where the skeletons of gigantic bats hang upside down from the ceiling. Murders of ravens live within the cave. No sunlight, moonlight, or starlight reaches the caves beneath the hill. Its inhabitants eat a hundred kinds of mushrooms, as well as blind white fish swimming in the black river. Cheese and milk is made from goats sharing the caves with the singers, and oats, barleycorn, and dried fruit are also available. The route steeply descends to a great cavern opening on a black abyss, with a swift river six hundred feet below. Near a natural bridge across the abyss is the three-eyed crow, the last greenseer, sitting on a throne of woven weirwood roots. As you approach he opens one blood red eye, and the smallest of smiles spreads across his face. THREE EYED CROW "I have seen this moment, a hundred-hundred times, but this moment is still…new…I have seen much and more, a sliver of Dorne, orange banners moving north. Black fires consuming my brother's throne. I see blood on the Trident. Serpents coiled around the Eyrie. Krakens in the Shields. Giants upon the Gift. And now five proud Free Folk bound to a Pretender." He hisses a few times, a moment passes as the wildlings realizes the Greenseer is laughing. "Free Folk of the Thulen…an old word, even for the Old Tongue, it is an old word. It meant 'To Serve Honor'. I hope this means something to you…" The Thulen look amongst themselves. They all feel equal parts dread and curiosity. Finally, Brandt speaks for the Thulen, "Aye we have kept to honor. We have only made war and killed to survive. We slay men, wights, and Walkers for all the Free Folk fleeing the Others." The man in his throne continues, "I was to have a successor, I have witnessed too many to-bes. Countless times I have reached out to find my successor, until I found the Winged Wolf." He smiled wryly, "A Stark I thought, so many times I looked into the wolf's grey eyes and couldn't help but see a Stark staring back. But now I think not, now I think it may actually be some Old God I see, and it calls me to action. But I am the last greenseer. So I call those that would serve, to save this sliver of a god." "What needs be done?" Ragor asks, weary of the old pale greenseer. The Three Eyed Crow tells the Thulen that the Last Hero's Hold has fallen. The Others, nor their wights cannot enter. Ancient sorcerers guard the hold. But after the Long Night, hundreds of would be heroes, mercenaries, plunderers, bloodmages, and shadowbinders, have all journeyed to the Hold. None have left the same as they went in. Some ruled for centuries there, others were corrupted somehow. While the Last Hero may have built a noble holdfast, it has long been corrupted by magery and pain. But the party must go, the Old Gods whisper to him of it. GREEN DREAMS With a solemn vow, the Thulen agree to free the Winged Wolf. The Children of the Forest burst into a joyous song, with words unheard by men in thousands of years. As they sing they prepare a feast for the Thulen. It is a hearty feast of many plants and venisons. There is a desert served. It appears to be acorn paste, and one of the Children claims there are acorns are in it. The Thulen reason it would be rude to eat, and the Children aren't likely to poison them. So they eat this mysterious paste. The weirwood paste at first tastes bitter, then better, then almost sweet, tasting of honey, new-fallen snow, pepper and cinnamon and sweet memories. After the feast the Thulen are shown to alcoves to bed down for the night. The Children titter as they dance away, knowing that the dreams of these menthings would be memorable indeed. Ragor's dreams take him back to spring. He watches a pack of wolves, hounding a herd of deer. He sees the baying, the splitting of the herd, the kill. Then he sees bears battling over a moose carcass. Wolverines eating the defeated bear. Foxes surprising squirrels. A shadowcat leaps onto a great ram, snapping its spine. All night he sees predators and prey. The visions vacillate between agonizingly slow and confusingly fast. Time flows forward and back at random. Ragor wakes with the taste of blood in his mouth and a hunger for meat. Joreeg's dream is haunting. He is trapped in a world where the sun provides black light and the world is covered in night. As he moves through this dark world a chasm opens before him. Joreeg can't resist and moves toward the chasm, until he steps off and begins falling. Shadow demons whisper in his ears as he plummets down. He splashes into an oily oozing black sea, from horizon to horizon there is only the sea. He paddles, but with all his struggles he can't float. He is slowly drowning, and the shadows begin pouring into his lungs as he is pulled into the black sea. He wakes in a cold sweat. Aindreas's dream sees himself in a stone room. Everywhere he looks there are books, except the for a silver brazier in the center of the room. He is compelled to feed the fire. He tosses books in and the fire grows. He feeds the flame, and he hates it. The knowledge lost to him is a misery, but the fire must be fed. The flame grows until the last book is consumed. Then Aindreas understand, and Books steps into the flame. It burns him, and he leaps from the fire. But the fire is in his soul. His blood turns to molten iron. His fingernails fall away as jets of flame shoot out. His eyes explode as the fire burst away. His holy body ignites, exploding. He wakes feeling warm, covered in feverish sweat. Druss stands on a perfectly square stone terrace, atop an ancient keep. He sees endless snow around him, aglow in the moonlight. The stars above plummet down around him. Titanic pillars of steam shoot into the sky where the stars land. Druss looks around and sees a giant anvil, and a hammer glowing with the same light as the glowing moon. As he lifts the smithing hammer a star falls onto the anvil. It glows, the iron heart of it rippling, ready to boil. Druss pounds the star heart with the hammer, sparks explode away in the form of a thousand swords and axes. Druss wakes feeling exhausted, and sore. Brandt sees a group of wierwoods. They crown the top of a keep, half mountain half fort. The trees' red leaves seem to glow in the warm sun, a patch of spring surrounded by black winter. Brandt is pulled into the soft earth, being consumed by the roots of the world. Like a worm he slithers up the weirwoods until he is peering through their red eyes at the world. There he sees the golden eyes of the Winged Wolf looking back at him. Time freezes. Whispers. Brandt hears the trees speaking. The worms whisper. The grass whispers. Bug skitter, whispering. Then the whispers are howls. Squirrels scream, birds shriek, fish thunder. He hears it all, all of it. Every sound ever made in the sight of Wierwoods. All layered over each other. Endless as time he hears the whispers and screams and silences. Then suddenly he is a frog. Sitting on the muddy embankment. He is speared to death as he is now the crane eating himself that was once a frog. He knows he must fly for a few more days so that he may be killed by the lynx he has always been. When Brandt awakes he takes a few moments to remember who he is now. LAST HERO'S HOLD Days become weeks, and then a full moon has turned. The Children provided a team of rams to the Thulen, laden with provisions and furs to make this trek. Brandt walked atop the drifts, somehow lighter than the loose snow. Suddenly he calls to his compatriots, "We have made it!" The Last Hero's Hold is an ancient fortress located far beyond the Wall in the northernmost region of Westeros. It is said to be the first bastion of humanity against the icy horrors that lurk beyond. The Hold is situated atop a rocky outcropping in the midst of a desolate, frozen wasteland, surrounded by snow-capped peaks and treacherous glaciers. The fortress is built of grey stone and is in a state of disrepair, with sections of the walls and towers crumbling away. However, it is still a formidable structure, with thick walls and sturdy gates that can withstand even the fiercest of attacks. Legend says that the Last Hero's Hold was built by the legendary Night's Watch hero, the Last Hero, who defeated the Others in a great battle centuries ago. The walls are said to be imbued with powerful magic that keeps the Others at bay, and it is said that the Hold itself is a sacred place, imbued with the spirits of countless warriors who gave their lives battling the White Walkers. The Thulen push open the gates. As they enter the bailey, they are suddenly sweating. The bailey is as warm as any spring day, and the furs piled onto the wildlings are sweltering. They strip down into their combat gear, and close the gates so the rams cannot escape. With that they enter the Last Hero's Hold. |
2023.03.26 01:53 Banana_ears How do I find Radioactive Ore?
How can I get/find radioactive ore! I can’t find it in the skull cavern or in the regular mine or the volcano dungeon. Where is it???
submitted by Banana_ears to StardewValley [link] [comments]
2023.03.25 21:56 SamBegleyAuthor A Quiet Pint At The Smirking Stoat (Part III)
Read parts 1 & 2 here
Part III
The groan had shifted, becoming a raspy croak that still seemed to originate from nowhere in particular. Upon hearing the voice, all but two of the patrons bowed their heads, looking down into their glasses as if hoping to find an escape route in the golden-brown liquid that bubbled in them.
The two who did not look away – Llewyn and Rhodri – were the largest of the pub’s dozen or so regulars. Giants of men, they both stood well over six feet tall, with long, wild hair and unkempt beards that dripped with what was likely decades of spilt drinks. Solemnly, the two marched over to Darren’s hunched frame, grabbing him by the arms and hauling him, wriggling and retching towards the cellar door. Charlie followed, gesturing to one of the women who sat sipping a sherry in the corner to clean the pool Darren had left behind.
The black maw of the cellar opened below Darren. At first he could see nothing but subterranean blackness as he gazed down into the abyssal basement, but as his eyes began to adjust to the darkness, the scale of The Smirking Stoat became clearer. The staircase that lay before him was hewn out of the living rock of London Town, descending deep below the pub. Through centuries of use the stairs had warped to fit the feet of the men who had carried countless barrels down into the depths. Dark liquid had pooled in each of the indents, overrunning and flowing down to the basement floor below. Darren convinced himself that the black liquid was just spilled beer, or rusty water that had dripped down from the iron bannisters. But the moment he was dropped into the pit by the titans who carried him, that notion was destroyed when, to break his fall, he plunged his hand into a slick and syrupy pool of coagulated blood. Pulling his hand away from the broken surface of the gelatinous liquid, the air filled with a putrid metallic stench that he’d never experienced before. Thrown off balance by the rank odour and looking at his palm with horror, his body, slick with blood, slid down the stairs before he landed in a crumpled heap on the floor.
For a while he simply sat, feelings of fear, shock and disgust crashing over his psyche in wild waves. There was an uncanny silence down there in the dark. But as his eyesight adjusted to the darkness he began to make out the room into which he had been thrown. Beneath the ancient pub lay a cavernous ossuary, carved into London’s bedrock, the cellar spread out in every direction, stretching so deeply into the darkness that it was eventually engulfed by abyssal nothingness. Though stalactites now descended from the ceiling of the cavern, this was no natural formation with clear signs of ancient masonry dotted about the walls. Beautiful Romanesque artwork was chiselled into some areas of the wall, while others were covered with the desperate maddened scrawls of those who had been in Darren’s position before. Fragments of the brown bones of victims past – all apparently human– were scattered across the flagstones. Bashed and splintered, this was not the necrotic detritus of a peaceful passing, but reflective of the violent end met by those to whom these skeletons once belonged.
Darren knew that any attempt to escape through the trapdoor atop the stairs would be futile. Checking his iPhone, he noted the total absence of any signal, before turning on the torch.
His usual braggadocio, though certainly muted, manifested itself in a decision to proceed directly into the darkness ahead. Ancient flecks of dust floated through his vision in a state of warped serenity as the beam of light emanating from Darren’s phone cut through the oppressive dark of the tavern’s oubliette. Even with the torch, the room seemed to go on for miles. Columns whittled from the rock cast long shadows in each direction, reaching out across the floor like eternal black tendrils. Darren moved with precise determination towards a destination he did not know, following the gentle decline of the cellar deeper into the earth beneath the city. In no time, he’d built a steady pace across the uneven ground strewn with ancient bones and patches of dried blood.
Engulfed in total darkness, he had walked for what felt like five minutes, though he couldn’t be certain, when he began to hear a sound distinct from the crunching of ancient bones under his white trainers. Somewhere out there in the distance was the sound of water lapping at the shore, a tidal ebb that ignited a spark of hope inside him. The size of the cellar was unbelievable, but perhaps he had finally found a way out.
As he got closer to the source of the noise, the tidal rippling now echoing around the stone walls, Darren’s nose began to twitch. The musty, lightly metallic smell of the cellar began to give way to that of a dirty river. The same smell which rose up from stagnant inlets at Canada Water, the smell experienced daily by the mudlarkers who trudged up and down the thin beaches of the river’s north bank, this was the smell of the Thames – the ancient river that would take him home.
Despite the circumstances, a wide grin broke out across Darren’s face, and he barely tried to hold in the childlike giggle of excitement that he gave as he got closer and closer to the exit. He began to see patches of dappled sunlight reflecting off some distant pools in thin strands against the now very intricately carved walls. He no longer cared what happened to the wretched pub; “Pull it down or leave it standing, whatever they do I ain’t ever going back.” he thought to himself.
Finally, he reached the waters edge. The sun’s fingerlike rays wormed their way through cracks in the ceiling, shining down onto the black water before him. Along with the sun, the faint, distant sound of a construction site had also made its way through the gaps in the rock and into the chamber. Darren stopped. There was no obvious way out, no cave entrance leading out onto the river, but the tidal motion indicated that this pool must connect to the Thames somehow. Without thinking, he cried out for help, pleading that one of the millions of Londoners above would hear his cries until his voice turned hoarse. But the sounds of jackhammers, bulldozers and cranes deafened his calls.
Eventually it dawned on him that there was no help coming, no real way to call for help. Something primal from deep within knew that there was no help here beneath The Smirking Stoat. It was either die there on the floor of the cellar from starvation, or take his chances that he could somehow swim out into the main watercourse of the River Thames through whatever system of cave-tunnels connected this pool to the outside world. He unbuttoned his shirt, preparing to strip down to his underwear and dive in.
The moment he threw his shirt to the ground and kicked off his shoes, the water began to bubble. Like a boiling saucepan, a rolling funnel of thick black bubbles emanated from deep below the centre of the small pool, rising to the surface in a barrage of bulbous popping liquid. But there was no steam, and dipping his toes lightly into the water, Darren noticed that, despite the violent motion of the unholy spring, it was still cold.
Puzzled, he stepped backwards, his brain struggling to determine whether it was still worth diving in. Though he wanted nothing more than to get out of the place, every fibre of his being screamed at him that he should absolutely not venture into that water. As he stood there, slack-jawed in his confusion, the bubbling of the water became more and more rapid, until the entire pool was a thrashing mass of black hydric balls.
At this point, Darren heard a voice rattling in his skull. It seemed to be coming from the water, but that would be impossible, surely. Hoarse and cutting, the voice spoke directly into his mind.
“You have come here, to my sacred well.” The voice echoed from somewhere beyond the depths, as though tearing holes through the heavens as it shot into Darren’s head, bringing him to his knees as his hands clawed frantically at his skull in a futile attempt at silencing the maddening speech. “Like those who now guard me, you seek to destroy that which is sanctified. Since the arrival of the men who carried crosses, I have been threatened, but you shall not win.”
Darren did not reply, he could not speak, his head burned hot, his eyes turning to coals as his vision was consumed by the bubbling blackness into which he stared.
“I know what you are thinking,” the voice rasped, “you do not believe yourself a destroyer, a defiler, those like you never do. But I am the river, I know all, I know your intentions, the callous thoughts that dance deep within, even if you do not.”
Darren’s black eyes merely gazed vacantly into the Stygian water, mouth agape as the river continued to tear at his psyche and echo in his mind.
“Many have come here and communed with me, once with respect, but no longer. In days past I was offered the bodies of men, but that has not happened for many years. Now, I am forgotten, even the guardians above have not trodden this floor in decades, though they fear and revere me in equal measure. For they – the ones with whom you spoke – are the only ones who truly understand my power. They are the only ones who know that it does not matter how many tonnes of concrete and glass are piled above. That it does not matter how much filth and grime is poured into my waterways. I cannot be killed, I cannot be vanquished, I am that which has been and always will be. My spirit lives in this water, it lives beneath the roads and towers, and it will never allow itself to be destroyed.”
The entity seemed to release its grip on Darren somewhat. Though when he tried to speak, he could only manage a wretched scream. His wails echoed around the cavern as he tore his eyes from the still bubbling pool before him. As the voice continued to speak into his mind, Darren curled into a ball on the floor, quivering and crying in a pitiful heap.
“A sacred grove once stood above us, where those who revered me would make offerings and, in turn, I was good to them. Their fields were fertile, their water clean and their animals healthy. But,” the voice of the thing in the river swelled with burning hate, “before long, it was cut down by the cross-bearers. In secret, my followers crafted this temple, vowing to keep alive my spirit, allowing me to grow in power.”
As the voice carried on speaking, Darren faded into dream. In his mind, he saw men in white robes with long beards, their faces daubed with blue makeup, carrying flaming torches and carving out the rocky passage through which he had walked. Other men, clean shaven and wearing different robes, laid mosaic tiles into the pillars that had been carved out of the rock. As though leaping through time, violent images of bloody sacrifices flickered across his vision, some showed the white bearded men from before standing in a circle burning a small wooden idol that encased a seemingly willing victim. Others showed hefty blonde figures, wailing as their arms were stretched over wooden planks and their lungs torn from out of their back and draped over their shoulders, throbbing and dripping red mucus as their victims drowned in fresh air.
The dreams continued, from above the surface this time. A verdant meadow lay before him, with a rudimentary building site at its centre. Men in dirty tunics and sackcloth trousers, hoisted the wooden framed facade of a building upright, driving thick iron nails into the existing stone structure. It looked like a typical country pub, and carved into the wooden beam in a rudimentary mediaeval hand that ran the width of the facade were the words ‘ye smirking stoate’. Upon reading the name, Darren once again plunged beneath, with more macabre images weaselling into his mind, showing a group of men – one of whom was quite clearly the landlord wielding a large dagger – wearing old fashioned suits and bowler hats, looking solemn as they carved strange symbols into the writhing flesh of a young woman who had been laid across a wooden table.
As he thrashed and moaned in his dreamstate, Darren’s once slick black hair turned into a mass of thin white strands. The disturbing grotesque images that played out behind his flickering eyes were one thing, but knowing that the city he called home was built upon such evil seemed to crush his soul itself.
“Stop!” his voice was strained and harsh “Please!” Darren managed to force the cries out from the wall of unconsciousness that he had been thrust behind. The voice relented, and the property man faded back to reality before vomiting on the floor.
“My temple shall not be levelled.” the river spirit roared the words from somewhere deep in the black beyond “My well shall not be destroyed. My spirit has survived armies, fires and bombs. It will not be conquered, your wrathful march that seeks to destroy all that is old and sacred to make way for commerce and consumption will crumble in time, as all threats to the spirit do. Now go, servant of London, join your fellow guardians.”
Darren pushed himself up from the floor, his legs shaking under the weight of his frail body. Wiping tears from his glassy eyes and flecks of dark vomit from his white stubble, he made his way back up the dark tunnel, leaving the well and its resident behind him.
Though he no longer had a light source, his legs carried him on his journey through the darkness until he arrived at the stairs down which he’d been thrown hours earlier. His eyes downcast, he trembled with each climb of the stairs until he reached the trap door. It was open, with the warm glow of the fireplace above welcoming him to join his fellow guardians of the well. As he clambered back into the main room of The Stoat, he observed the patrons once more. With each eye he caught, a wry smile and slight nod was returned to him. His hollow eyes and thin hair now ensured that he fit in perfectly with the usual crowd.
“So, what’ll it be, mate?”
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Part III
The groan had shifted, becoming a raspy croak that still seemed to originate from nowhere in particular. Upon hearing the voice, all but two of the patrons bowed their heads, looking down into their glasses as if hoping to find an escape route in the golden-brown liquid that bubbled in them.
The two who did not look away – Llewyn and Rhodri – were the largest of the pub’s dozen or so regulars. Giants of men, they both stood well over six feet tall, with long, wild hair and unkempt beards that dripped with what was likely decades of spilt drinks. Solemnly, the two marched over to Darren’s hunched frame, grabbing him by the arms and hauling him, wriggling and retching towards the cellar door. Charlie followed, gesturing to one of the women who sat sipping a sherry in the corner to clean the pool Darren had left behind.
The black maw of the cellar opened below Darren. At first he could see nothing but subterranean blackness as he gazed down into the abyssal basement, but as his eyes began to adjust to the darkness, the scale of The Smirking Stoat became clearer. The staircase that lay before him was hewn out of the living rock of London Town, descending deep below the pub. Through centuries of use the stairs had warped to fit the feet of the men who had carried countless barrels down into the depths. Dark liquid had pooled in each of the indents, overrunning and flowing down to the basement floor below. Darren convinced himself that the black liquid was just spilled beer, or rusty water that had dripped down from the iron bannisters. But the moment he was dropped into the pit by the titans who carried him, that notion was destroyed when, to break his fall, he plunged his hand into a slick and syrupy pool of coagulated blood. Pulling his hand away from the broken surface of the gelatinous liquid, the air filled with a putrid metallic stench that he’d never experienced before. Thrown off balance by the rank odour and looking at his palm with horror, his body, slick with blood, slid down the stairs before he landed in a crumpled heap on the floor.
For a while he simply sat, feelings of fear, shock and disgust crashing over his psyche in wild waves. There was an uncanny silence down there in the dark. But as his eyesight adjusted to the darkness he began to make out the room into which he had been thrown. Beneath the ancient pub lay a cavernous ossuary, carved into London’s bedrock, the cellar spread out in every direction, stretching so deeply into the darkness that it was eventually engulfed by abyssal nothingness. Though stalactites now descended from the ceiling of the cavern, this was no natural formation with clear signs of ancient masonry dotted about the walls. Beautiful Romanesque artwork was chiselled into some areas of the wall, while others were covered with the desperate maddened scrawls of those who had been in Darren’s position before. Fragments of the brown bones of victims past – all apparently human– were scattered across the flagstones. Bashed and splintered, this was not the necrotic detritus of a peaceful passing, but reflective of the violent end met by those to whom these skeletons once belonged.
Darren knew that any attempt to escape through the trapdoor atop the stairs would be futile. Checking his iPhone, he noted the total absence of any signal, before turning on the torch.
His usual braggadocio, though certainly muted, manifested itself in a decision to proceed directly into the darkness ahead. Ancient flecks of dust floated through his vision in a state of warped serenity as the beam of light emanating from Darren’s phone cut through the oppressive dark of the tavern’s oubliette. Even with the torch, the room seemed to go on for miles. Columns whittled from the rock cast long shadows in each direction, reaching out across the floor like eternal black tendrils. Darren moved with precise determination towards a destination he did not know, following the gentle decline of the cellar deeper into the earth beneath the city. In no time, he’d built a steady pace across the uneven ground strewn with ancient bones and patches of dried blood.
Engulfed in total darkness, he had walked for what felt like five minutes, though he couldn’t be certain, when he began to hear a sound distinct from the crunching of ancient bones under his white trainers. Somewhere out there in the distance was the sound of water lapping at the shore, a tidal ebb that ignited a spark of hope inside him. The size of the cellar was unbelievable, but perhaps he had finally found a way out.
As he got closer to the source of the noise, the tidal rippling now echoing around the stone walls, Darren’s nose began to twitch. The musty, lightly metallic smell of the cellar began to give way to that of a dirty river. The same smell which rose up from stagnant inlets at Canada Water, the smell experienced daily by the mudlarkers who trudged up and down the thin beaches of the river’s north bank, this was the smell of the Thames – the ancient river that would take him home.
Despite the circumstances, a wide grin broke out across Darren’s face, and he barely tried to hold in the childlike giggle of excitement that he gave as he got closer and closer to the exit. He began to see patches of dappled sunlight reflecting off some distant pools in thin strands against the now very intricately carved walls. He no longer cared what happened to the wretched pub; “Pull it down or leave it standing, whatever they do I ain’t ever going back.” he thought to himself.
Finally, he reached the waters edge. The sun’s fingerlike rays wormed their way through cracks in the ceiling, shining down onto the black water before him. Along with the sun, the faint, distant sound of a construction site had also made its way through the gaps in the rock and into the chamber. Darren stopped. There was no obvious way out, no cave entrance leading out onto the river, but the tidal motion indicated that this pool must connect to the Thames somehow. Without thinking, he cried out for help, pleading that one of the millions of Londoners above would hear his cries until his voice turned hoarse. But the sounds of jackhammers, bulldozers and cranes deafened his calls.
Eventually it dawned on him that there was no help coming, no real way to call for help. Something primal from deep within knew that there was no help here beneath The Smirking Stoat. It was either die there on the floor of the cellar from starvation, or take his chances that he could somehow swim out into the main watercourse of the River Thames through whatever system of cave-tunnels connected this pool to the outside world. He unbuttoned his shirt, preparing to strip down to his underwear and dive in.
The moment he threw his shirt to the ground and kicked off his shoes, the water began to bubble. Like a boiling saucepan, a rolling funnel of thick black bubbles emanated from deep below the centre of the small pool, rising to the surface in a barrage of bulbous popping liquid. But there was no steam, and dipping his toes lightly into the water, Darren noticed that, despite the violent motion of the unholy spring, it was still cold.
Puzzled, he stepped backwards, his brain struggling to determine whether it was still worth diving in. Though he wanted nothing more than to get out of the place, every fibre of his being screamed at him that he should absolutely not venture into that water. As he stood there, slack-jawed in his confusion, the bubbling of the water became more and more rapid, until the entire pool was a thrashing mass of black hydric balls.
At this point, Darren heard a voice rattling in his skull. It seemed to be coming from the water, but that would be impossible, surely. Hoarse and cutting, the voice spoke directly into his mind.
“You have come here, to my sacred well.” The voice echoed from somewhere beyond the depths, as though tearing holes through the heavens as it shot into Darren’s head, bringing him to his knees as his hands clawed frantically at his skull in a futile attempt at silencing the maddening speech. “Like those who now guard me, you seek to destroy that which is sanctified. Since the arrival of the men who carried crosses, I have been threatened, but you shall not win.”
Darren did not reply, he could not speak, his head burned hot, his eyes turning to coals as his vision was consumed by the bubbling blackness into which he stared.
“I know what you are thinking,” the voice rasped, “you do not believe yourself a destroyer, a defiler, those like you never do. But I am the river, I know all, I know your intentions, the callous thoughts that dance deep within, even if you do not.”
Darren’s black eyes merely gazed vacantly into the Stygian water, mouth agape as the river continued to tear at his psyche and echo in his mind.
“Many have come here and communed with me, once with respect, but no longer. In days past I was offered the bodies of men, but that has not happened for many years. Now, I am forgotten, even the guardians above have not trodden this floor in decades, though they fear and revere me in equal measure. For they – the ones with whom you spoke – are the only ones who truly understand my power. They are the only ones who know that it does not matter how many tonnes of concrete and glass are piled above. That it does not matter how much filth and grime is poured into my waterways. I cannot be killed, I cannot be vanquished, I am that which has been and always will be. My spirit lives in this water, it lives beneath the roads and towers, and it will never allow itself to be destroyed.”
The entity seemed to release its grip on Darren somewhat. Though when he tried to speak, he could only manage a wretched scream. His wails echoed around the cavern as he tore his eyes from the still bubbling pool before him. As the voice continued to speak into his mind, Darren curled into a ball on the floor, quivering and crying in a pitiful heap.
“A sacred grove once stood above us, where those who revered me would make offerings and, in turn, I was good to them. Their fields were fertile, their water clean and their animals healthy. But,” the voice of the thing in the river swelled with burning hate, “before long, it was cut down by the cross-bearers. In secret, my followers crafted this temple, vowing to keep alive my spirit, allowing me to grow in power.”
As the voice carried on speaking, Darren faded into dream. In his mind, he saw men in white robes with long beards, their faces daubed with blue makeup, carrying flaming torches and carving out the rocky passage through which he had walked. Other men, clean shaven and wearing different robes, laid mosaic tiles into the pillars that had been carved out of the rock. As though leaping through time, violent images of bloody sacrifices flickered across his vision, some showed the white bearded men from before standing in a circle burning a small wooden idol that encased a seemingly willing victim. Others showed hefty blonde figures, wailing as their arms were stretched over wooden planks and their lungs torn from out of their back and draped over their shoulders, throbbing and dripping red mucus as their victims drowned in fresh air.
The dreams continued, from above the surface this time. A verdant meadow lay before him, with a rudimentary building site at its centre. Men in dirty tunics and sackcloth trousers, hoisted the wooden framed facade of a building upright, driving thick iron nails into the existing stone structure. It looked like a typical country pub, and carved into the wooden beam in a rudimentary mediaeval hand that ran the width of the facade were the words ‘ye smirking stoate’. Upon reading the name, Darren once again plunged beneath, with more macabre images weaselling into his mind, showing a group of men – one of whom was quite clearly the landlord wielding a large dagger – wearing old fashioned suits and bowler hats, looking solemn as they carved strange symbols into the writhing flesh of a young woman who had been laid across a wooden table.
As he thrashed and moaned in his dreamstate, Darren’s once slick black hair turned into a mass of thin white strands. The disturbing grotesque images that played out behind his flickering eyes were one thing, but knowing that the city he called home was built upon such evil seemed to crush his soul itself.
“Stop!” his voice was strained and harsh “Please!” Darren managed to force the cries out from the wall of unconsciousness that he had been thrust behind. The voice relented, and the property man faded back to reality before vomiting on the floor.
“My temple shall not be levelled.” the river spirit roared the words from somewhere deep in the black beyond “My well shall not be destroyed. My spirit has survived armies, fires and bombs. It will not be conquered, your wrathful march that seeks to destroy all that is old and sacred to make way for commerce and consumption will crumble in time, as all threats to the spirit do. Now go, servant of London, join your fellow guardians.”
Darren pushed himself up from the floor, his legs shaking under the weight of his frail body. Wiping tears from his glassy eyes and flecks of dark vomit from his white stubble, he made his way back up the dark tunnel, leaving the well and its resident behind him.
Though he no longer had a light source, his legs carried him on his journey through the darkness until he arrived at the stairs down which he’d been thrown hours earlier. His eyes downcast, he trembled with each climb of the stairs until he reached the trap door. It was open, with the warm glow of the fireplace above welcoming him to join his fellow guardians of the well. As he clambered back into the main room of The Stoat, he observed the patrons once more. With each eye he caught, a wry smile and slight nod was returned to him. His hollow eyes and thin hair now ensured that he fit in perfectly with the usual crowd.
“So, what’ll it be, mate?”
2023.03.25 21:09 foldinthecheese_313 (*may contain spolers*) What is the most infuriating mistake you've ever made. I'll start. I was doing the Skull Cavern Invasion challenge where you have to get to level 100 an the deeper you get the more monsters there are. It was 5pm, I was in level 80, and I accidentally used my return sceptor😭
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2023.03.25 20:26 mystxvix Dwarf Scroll
I am missing ONE Dwarf Scroll. I am on Year 7! I can see my dwarven friends in the mines & Ginger Island. I've completed the Dungeon on GI. I've gotten to Level 100 of the Skull Caverns. I'm absolutely screaming. How can I ensure I get this final scroll? I have like 10 of the Scroll 1.
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2023.03.25 19:38 Sleepy_Creek Restarted day and got a different item in the mail?!
I restarted the day and received an energy tonic in the mail from Pam after I rage quitted and wanting a do-over after fainting in skull cavern. Saying she "found it in her drawer." However when I started that same day with the same message from her in the mail previously, it was a battery pack! I didn't realize the gifts they gave you were randomized, but this energy tonic is immensely more useful hahaha!
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2023.03.25 17:00 RobotPirateMoses Let's Have Fun With Arcane Spells #3: Illusion School. A series in which I tell you a bunch of things you can do with all the Arcane spells in the game.
We living in that character limit once again. Final part of the post is in the comments.
First of all, if you missed it:
-Here's part #1: Necromancy school.
-And here's part #2: Enchantment school.
Second, if you don't know the absolute basics about a specific spell, just read the in-game spell descriptions (but, obviously, I'm still gonna point out what's not covered by them as well as some of the more noteworthy points).
Importantly, if any spell ignores magic resistance, I'll mention it, otherwise it doesn't.
-This is a bit of a spoiler for the Divination thread, but, yes, that also means you can cure those effects on your party members if they're charmed by enemies (or something else I won't spoil now).
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-Blindness inflicts a +4 penalty to both AC and THAC0, which is already HUGE (+20% chance to hit the enemy and -20% chance to get hit!), but it also reduces a character's vision range to such a small range you can easily attack enemies from safety with long-reach weapons (staves, spears, Monk fists, two-handed swords, halberds) or, obviously, ranged weapons. It's not even a problem if the enemy AI is of the kind that walks up to you when they get attacked (not all enemies do that, some will just stand there and take the hits), cause you can easily get out of the tiny vision range and if they try to to cast a spell it will fizzle, cause they won't be able to target as soon as you walk out of that range (in practice, it's the same result as going invisible while they're casting a spell targeted at you).
-Blindness, as a status effect, is so rarely resisted I can't even remember any group of enemies that are immune to it (only individual enemies). Beholders can be blinded, preventing them from using their rays on you (unless you get close), dragons can be blinded (though Firkraag and several others are immune, but, for example, Morentherene and Nizidramanii'yt aren't), Liches can be blinded (just not with this spell, cause it's level 1), most Demons can be blinded, nearly all Undead can be blinded, Mind Flayers can be blinded (though you gotta get past their Magic Resistance first)... Hell, blindness is one of the very few effects that can be inflicted on enemies wearing the famed MINHP1 item.
-Blindness can be used as a way to countervent a creature's ability to ignore invisibility. For example: can't approach a demon from behind to backstab it, cause it always turns around to hit you? Blind it, hide (or go invisible) and then use a quarterstaff to backstab it from outside its vision range.
-You can blind your own Thieves so they can set traps/hide during combat (as long as enemies aren't glued to you), cause, bizarrely, the check is for whether you can see enemies, not whether they can see you (for programming reasons). Yeah, pretty big exploit (though if you're a solo Mage/Thief you might have problems actually seeing things/playing the game unless you use a Familiar or something else to see for you).
-This spell is almost the entire reason for being an Illusionist, cause almost no other spell from this school rolls a save. And it's a pretty good reason too, cause this spell with a save penalty (and put into a Minor Sequencer!) is a menace. Have your gnomes spam this all day, every day.
-Fun fact: this is supposed to be a level 2 spell, cause that's what it is in PnP (and also Icewind Dale). Who thought it was a good idea to make it level 1?
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-A 50% chance to prevent an entire attack's worth of damage may not be so appealing for a character who gets hit easily (bad AC), but it's a lot more interesting for a character who rarely does (great AC). Think about it like this: if this prevents a hit on a bad AC character, the next hit is gonna come quickly and you'll die fast (so what's the point?), but if this prevents a hit on a good AC character that means you prevented a high roll attack (which is more likely to have been a crit) and the next attack still won't hit you easily, which means you're good as a "defensive character" (ie you're using a real strategy). Plus, the less likely it is for you to get hit, the less likely it is for you to lose this protection, which means you don't have to re-up it constantly (unlike with the bad AC character, which would have to memorize a bunch of this and constantly re-cast it to actually be able to survive).
-It's especially good for characters who have positive luck (either from the priest spell Chant, from the unkitted/Blade Bard Songs, the Luck spell that merely lasts 3 rounds, the Cloverleaf belt in SoD or the scimitar that permanently gives +1 luck in IWDEE), cause then enemies will always hit the image before you. That means this spell simply becomes "avoid the next single-target attack", which is pretty nice.
-The stronger the enemy or their on-hit effects, the more valuable this spell gets. Preventing a single bastard sword hit from a random hobgoblin might be almost pointless, but preventing an arrow from an Elite Hobgoblin from poisoning you or a Ghoul's attack from paralyzing you is a pretty big deal. Plus, some enemies have one-and-done attacks, like some BG2EE Clerics who like to use Harm or Slay Living (miss the attack = spell failed). Though, ofc, this is all better done via Mirror Image.
-Keep in mind that Stoneskin (a buff used for similar defensive purposes) doesn't protect against such things and images (from both Reflected Image and Mirror Image) also prevent single-target elemental damage, not just physical. If a Harm attack hits a character with Stonekin, their HP is gonna be reduced to 1, if it hits a Reflected Image's image, it won't. If a Fire Elemental hits a Mage protected by Stoneskin casting a spell, their casting will be interrupted by the fire damage portion of their attack (even if the Mage is 100% resistant to fire!), but if it hits a Reflected Image's image, the casting won't be interrupted. EDIT: some on-hit effects (eg an Otyugh's and Ghouls') are bugged and affect you even if they hit your images. But the two I mentioned don't, for example.
-A very niche scenario where I've used Reflected Image a lot before was with an Illusionist2->Fighter in BGEE (who, therefore, didn't have access to Mirror Image). I dualed at that point cause I just wanted a bow-wielding Fighter who could use wands and cast Spook/Blindness with a specialist save penalty, but I ended up using Reflected Image from time to time, as I stayed away from enemies and had great AC vs missile damage (with the Shield spell, the Boots of Avoidance, the Claw of Kazgaroth and the Cloak of Displacement you can get insanely low AC vs missile damage in BGEE), so I rarely got hit, but even then the image prevented those rare hits (meaning I was often left unscathed).
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-This spell's penalty to saves against it is the strongest inherent save penalty in the game (well, it can be, as it's level-dependent), tied with Earthquake. Enemies saving against this spell when cast by a level 12+ Illusionist have a +8 penalty (!!!) to their save vs spells... It's gonna hit. It's gonna. No, really. Think about it for a second: if the enemy has a save vs spells of 12+, they cannot save against it (there are no "crits" when it comes to saving throws). Throw in a Greater Malison and suddenly enemies with save vs spells 8+ cannot save! That means a Fighter cannot save against this combo (GM + lv12 Illusionist's Spook) unless they're level 15+ (especially cause enemies almost never have save-enhancing gear). And even if they're level 17+ to get the best save vs spells for Fighters (6), they'll still fail the save 90% of the time!
-This spell's save penalty is so nutty that you can use it as a spellcasting disruption tool. Especially cause it has a casting time of 1! Sure, Mages have better saves than most... But that's a +8 penalty for Illusionists.
-To be clear: this already gets a +1 penalty at level 2 (the only Mage level without a penalty is level 1), so even if you dual from an Illusionist at the lowest level possible (2), for some reason, you're still gonna get a damn good +3 save penalty.
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-One aspect that people often forget about is the -1 bonus to all saving throws. Sure, it might not sound like much, but imagine you're a level 7 Mage in BGEE:
Your save vs spells is 10
-3 from Spirit Armor
-3 from the Claw of Kazgaroth
-1 from a Ring/Amulet/Cloak of Protection +1
-1 from a Robe of [Alignment] Archmagi
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Save vs spells 2, meaning you can still fail on a roll of 1. But throw in Blur's -1 on top of that and suddenly you cannot fail a regular save vs spells in BGEE before you even reach Baldur's Gate (where you can find the Ring of Protection +2 and such). And, hell, if you're an Enchanter, that means you're already immune to Domination (the spell, that has an inherent +2 penalty), but also almost all of the enemies' versions as well (eg from Vampires). A vampire already can't charm you and you're not even in BG2EE to encounter them (though SoD has a few).
-Don't forget though: this isn't just a save vs spells bonus, it's a bonus against all saves! That means this spell also makes it easier to reach a save vs death of 3 early, a point in which you become immune to Stinking Clouds (so feel free to spam them on top of yourself).
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-This effect is permanent (until death, dispel or cure) and ignores magic resistance (!!!), so it could be easier to make this work than Silence 15' Radius (even with it's +5 penalty to the save) if the enemy has a lot of MR, especially if you're an Illusionist. Wanna prevent a Drow Cleric or Mage from casting spells? This is the easier way to do it out of those two.
-Sure it might not be so easy to inflict this on a Mage, but: a) it might be not be as difficult as you expect (not all Mages have godlike save vs spells, especially in BGEE); b) as a level 2 spell, it can fit into a Minor Sequencer, making it a lot more likely to hit Mages and powerful creatures and c) there are plenty of non-Mage spellcasters out there with crappy saves vs spells.
-You might think that a 50% chance of spellcasting is not enough, but you need to consider that it's not JUST a 50% chance of spellcasting failure. It's 50% on top of everything else you have!
-Think about it like this: an enemy is spamming Domination (save vs spells with a penalty of 2) and you have a save vs spells of 8 (something a level 1 Mage can get with the Claw of Kazgaroth and a Ring of Protection +1), that's a 45% chance of you making that save. But add Deafness' 50% chance of spell failure to the enemy and suddenly when you combine both odds you get a 72.5% chance of succefully avoiding that spell in any given round... And, remember, that's with a save vs spells that any Mage can easily get at the start of BGEE. Not to mention that you can add some Magic Resistance (however minor) on top of all of that and the enemy will quickly get an astronomically low chance of hitting you with anything. But saves and MR aren't things you need to apply to the enemy, all you need to apply from that equation is deafness, so most of it comes naturally.
-Remember how I said this is great against Drow? Well, what kind of saves and MR do you have when you get to meet your first Drow Mage or Cleric? Pretty good ones, even if you have a whole party that needs to share gear. So Deafness is, for sure, more than enough to prevent any major spell effects (charms, instakills, feebleminds, confusion...) from working on you when you cast it on a Drow.
-PSA: the old "two deafness effects combined make for 100% spell failure" doesn't work anymore and hasn't in ages. You can't be super deaf, just... Regular deaf.
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-You're able to cast this before travelling to most places in both BGEE and BG2EE and still have it when you arrive at your destination (unless you're travelling from one end of the map to the other, but you can easily travel to someplace else in-between first to avoid a 24+ hour travel time), which means that you can, for example, get waylaid by enemies and NOT have to defend yourself until you're ready. Just walk out of sight, casts buffs, summon creatures, whatever you want and then waylay the enemy waylaiders yourself, making them have to defend themselves.
-24 hour duration means you can get 3 casts of this for the cost of a single spell slot. Cast, rest, cast, rest, cast again... And the first cast will still last for just under 8 hours. Or, hell, let's say you're a level 3 Mage with one mere spell slot of level 2, you can cast this, choose another spell, then rest and, voila, you can get Invisibility plus something else.
-I'm trying hard not to just talk about contingencies/sequencers/triggers all the time (cause those will get their own thread), but I can't avoid it here, as Invisibility is by far one of the best spells to use with those.
-Picture this: you're a solo Illusionist12/Thief13 multiclass going up against a group of enemies who start with blue circles (eg Mae'Var and his crew in BG2EE). Minor Globe of Invulnerability -> Hide -> Backstab -> Contingency on enemy sighted triggers turning you invisible -> Backstab -> instantly use Minor Sequencer with Web and Invisibility centered on yourself -> Backstab webbed foe who you can't miss -> Cast invisibility -> Backstab -> Repeat that five more times (or more if you have extra level 2 spell slots). That's a minimum (cause, again, you can have more spell slots and you can also have gear that lets you get more Invisibility) of 9 backstabs while barely even getting seen, with 7 of those being backstabs that can't miss (as you're going for whatever enemies failed their saves and are currently webbed).
-Or, hell, you can just put it at the end of a Spell Sequencer along with, say, 2x Sunfire. Walk up to enemies and, once they surround you, target yourself with that. The result? 2x Sunfire on everybody and then you're invisible, meaning you're safe, despite being surrounded. Or you can do it to simply never be found out: come in invisible, use a sequencer with Invisibility at the end centered on yourself and walk away without ever having been revealed (if the sequencer is instantaneous, as it can be if you use any casting-time-reducing gear).
-Contigency -> Invisibility is also a pretty convenient "oh shit" Contingency to have. Single-class Mage who can't access (reliable) self-cure for status effects like hold via Contingency? Just put Invisibility in instead, so that it triggers when you're helpless and then you can just wait out the effect. Or maybe you'd like to use it with a 50% hp condition, so you can easily leave combat and heal safely before going back.
-Invisibility is also one of the most reliable spellcasting disruptors out there... As long as you're using it against a targeted (non-AoE, like a Fireball, non-self-centered, like Mage Armor) spell. A Mage or Cleric is casting Finger of Death against you? (if you hear "Vita, Mortis..." coming from a high level Mage or Cleric, there's a good chance it's that) Turn invisible to make them waste their spell. A Mage or Cleric is trying to charm or hold you? (if you hear "Cupio", there's a very high chance that's what's coming) Go invisible and, again, make them waste their spell. There's a reason Invisibility is one of only three spells for which I have specific keybindings ("1" is my Nahal's Reckless Dweomer key, "2" is Chromatic Orb and "3" is Invisibility). It's the "oh shit" button.
-With its incredibly long duration, you can also do some stuff you couldn't do with, say Improved Invisibility (much shorter duration), like turn invisible and set off all Cloakwood web traps safely and then wait for them to go away.
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-Do note that this gets a different number of images depending on your level, so, although the items that give you Mirror Image casts are amazing, the actual spell is more potent for a regular Mage. For comparison: a level 18 Mage casting the spell gets 8 images on a single cast, Ilbratha (the shortsword) gets you 4 images once per day and the Ring of Duplication gets you 5 images three times per day.
-This being a level 2 spell means you can put it on a Minor Sequencer. This + Chant (for the +1 luck) on a Minor Sequencer for a Cleric/Mage is extremely powerful. That's 8 images that enemies have to go through for sure (due to the +1 luck) before they can hit you in melee, with a ranged weapon or a targeted spell.
-Single-class Mages can actually do something similar with Mirror Image + Luck (the spell, yes, I thought of a way to use it). Sure, Luck only lasts 3 rounds, but imagine a situation where you expect to get hit a lot... Can you not see yourself taking 8 hits in 3 rounds from, say, a mob of enemies surrounding you? Even if you have good AC, when there's a bunch of enemies the crits start coming in fast and AC can't do anything against that.
-Sure, you can use Protection from Magical Weapons eventually, but this is a level 2 spell that you can also use after that initial protection runs out. Plus, Mirror Image doesn't just block hits from magical weapons, it also protects against hits from normal ones (and there some of those even in Throne of Bhaal. For example, in the fight at the Saradush barracks where both enemies with normal weapons and magical weapons swarm you). Also, Protection from Magical Weapons is a level 6 spell and you might wanna use most/all of those slots for something else, especially if you're not playing solo.
-If you have excellent AC and luck (from any source), this can often be better than Protection from Normal/Magical Weapons/Mantle etc., because it lasts for a much longer time and is enough to prevent rare hits against you (cause, again, we're talking about characters with excellent AC). If you have so much AC that someone can't hit you without a crit (actually not that hard to do, depending on the enemy), then Protection from Normal/Magical Weapons protects you from those rare crits for 4 rounds, meanwhile Mirror Image will probably protect you from those same crits for longer (unless you get really unlucky and dudes just roll 9+ crits against you in four rounds, though you can easily cast Mirror Image again before the images run out if that's the case).
-Finally, nothing is stopping you from comboing this with Stoneskin and Protection from Normal/Magical Weapons, of course. That's something a lot of people do, but it's often overkill unless you're going up against really powerful foes. Remember, overbuffing causes the most damage of all things: it wastes time from your life lol. And Mirror Image is the lowest level out of all of those spells, so it costs the least to use, while achieving similar results most of the time.
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-All the amazingness of Invisibility, but now for your whole party. Incredible spell to have if you have more than one backstabber in the party. Careful though: it's centered on your Mage, so using it during combat can be tricky if you don't know what you're doing.
-Don't underestimate how good this is for parties without backstabbers as well. You can prevent an enemy Mage from annoying you by backstabbing them before they can act, sure, but you know what you can also do? Surround them with invisible warriors and then attack all at once, to possibly do even more damage than a single backstab (though you can combine backstabs with that strategy as well).
-If you like the idea of your party attacking all at once from stealth/invisibility (especially if you want multiple simultaneous backstabs, that require enemies to not change positions, so you hit their backs), then having any amount of positive luck (use Chant to get it on the whole party) and having speed factor 0 (haste lower SF by 2 btw) all help make your characters attack together. If you want to go truly nuts with it and have five or six backstabbers, I wrote about that kind of thing in a post almost nobody saw a long time ago lol. If anything, I hope you can appreciate the beauty of doing five backstabs at once to instantly kill the Demon Knight. Sure, backstabbers can hide by themselves, but keeping everybody hidden simultaneously can be a pain if they're not just invisible.
-A Fairy Dragon Familiar can cast this for you in BG2EE (not BGEE). So even (Chaotic Good) Necromancers have a way to access this spell.
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-Whose weapons/attacks are considered unenchanted in BGEE? Whose aren't would be an easier question to answer. Even Aec'Letec's attacks count as unenchanted!
-Whose weapons/attacks are considered unenchanted in BG2EE? That's a difficult question to answer, cause it's hard to compile a list, but, off the top of my head:
=>Rakshasa
=>Nabassus (including the Master of Thralls at the Astral Prison)
=>Djinni/Efreeti
=>Mummies (not Greater ones)
=>Some Shades/Shadows (including Shade Wolves and a lot of the ones that drain STR)
=>Some mob enemies in Throne of Bhaal (there's often a few mixed in with the enemies equipped with magical weapons to throw you off, for example at the "horde" fight in the Saradush Barracks)
=>Many humanoid enemies (think about how many times you see someone drop a crappy unenchanted weapon)
=>Many spiders
=>Carrion Crawlers
=>Nishruu
=>Most Sahuagin (in melee)
=>A lot of Kuo-Toa (in melee)
=>Amnian Soldiers/Centurions (great for those of us who love to cause trouble in Valygar's home to get a ton of free Full Plate Mails and plenty of xp).
-Unlike similar spells that prevent spellcasting, this also prevents the use of special abilities. However, you can still use items, like wands, the Nymph Cloak, Relair's Mistake and so on.
-This is a great spell for dual/multiclass Mages (M/T, C/M, F/M) or Bards, all of whom can still fight well after losing access to spellcasting. Cleric/Mages can also buff themselves up a ton before casting this, so they might end up fighting regularly if you're the kind of person who likes to buff and then auto-attack with Clerics instead of casting constantly during combat.
-"But the scroll is available so late in BGEE". Yes and no:
=>You can rush to Candlekeep if you want to abuse this spell early as, say, a Bard or a FighteMage (you literally only have to kill two people to get there: Mulahey and Davaeorn, you can just ignore everything else via invisibility).
=>Quayle gets this spell in his spellbook if you recruit him after reaching 32k xp (and, considering where he is, that's very likely), and, as a Cleric/Illusionist, he can still fight after losing his spellcasting.
=>Don't forget that Sorcerers can access any spell without relying on scrolls, so you can use your Sorcerer as a "tank" while the rest of your party and/or summons do the damage (just be sure to keep attacking with the Sorcerer to more easily keep the aggro on you). Plus, if you know what you're doing, even a Sorcerer can do well in melee against your average mob. Or just use Relair's Mistake to become a wolf if you don't know how to melee with a regular Sorcerer (can't use Polymorph Self shennanigans cause special abilities are disabled).
-Wraithform is also a mere level 3 spell that has decent duration scaling (2 rounds per level), which makes it very viable for low level duals. A Mage5->Fighter can easily use this to be able to have Protection from Normal Weapons for 10 rounds without actual access to that level 5 spell.
-A FighteMage or Cleric/Mage of any sort can also use Vhailor's Helm to access Simulacrum early in BG2EE and have their clone cast this to tank whatever enemy uses normal weapons while the caster can attack and cast spells normally. Sure, it's easier to use an Imp familiar polymorphed into a Mustard Jelly or a clone polymorphed into that, but: a) non-Lawful Evil and non-protagonist characters can't get an Imp familiar and b) Your FighteMage clone is probably stronger in their normal form with their regular attacks than in Mustard Jelly form.
-"But what about having your clone cast Protection from Normal Weapons instead?" You can do that, yes, but this spell also gives +25% magic damage resistance, so if you're wearing the Belt of Inertial Barrier (+50%) you're more than good to spam Skull Traps on your Wraithform'd clone (they're only gonna take 25% damage and there's still the save to halve that, that's almost no damage). So your clone is tanking enemies with normal weapons AND can get bombarded with Skull Traps all with a single spell. Admittedly, it's a lot more useful in BGEE (where Protection from Normal Weapons doesn't exist), but you can use it in BG2EE.
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-Unless the enemy ignores invisibility, this essentially makes you immune to all sorts of targeted effects like Finger of Death, Maze, Melf's Acid Arrow, Domination etc. for the duration of the spell. Don't waste time protecting yourself against those if you're using this!
-For no goddamn reason, this gives you a massive -4 bonus to all saving throws (go read what I said about saving throw bonuses in the part about Blur). Absolutely insane. Combine it with, say, a Spirit Armor's bonkers -3 to save vs spells and you're already at -7. That's enough to make a level 11+ Mage immune to any spell that requires a save vs spells to work (unless it inflicts a penalty to saves, ofc). So, yeah, wear a simple Ring of Protection +2 on top of that and suddenly that level 11 Mage can't be Web'd, Dominated etc. (spells that inflict a +2 penalty). Also, keep in mind that, while some enemies ignore invisibility, you still get this save bonus even if that's the case, so you can still use this spell against a Lich, for example.
-There's also a massive +4 THAC0 penalty to creatures (who don't ignore invisibility) attacking you. This is huge not only because it's a -20% chance to get hit, but also because it can stack with capped AC. You know how general AC caps out at -20 (well, not really, it can go down further than that with AC coming from high DEX and Single-Weapon style)? Well, a penalty to the enemy's attack isn't really AC, so it stacks to help enemies not hit you at super high levels.
-One extremely niche advantage that this has over regular Invisibility is that, as a level 4 spell, it doesn't get dispelled by Detect Illusion (the spell, not the Thief/Shaman/Dark Moon Monk ability).
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-I guess the shorter casting time could be useful in Icewind Dale where CT-lowering gear is only available in the expansion areas... But, even then, if you're that desperate to go invisible quickly just use Invisibility! I don't understand what the devs were thinking here.
-The spell's effect is very cool though.
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-If the enemy doesn't ignore invisibility and they can't see your clone (cause it simply walked away, for example...), they just sit there and do absolutely nothing while you do whatever you want to them. It essentially disables enemy AI (well, unless they have other people to attack), which is why it's pretty boring to use most of the time.
-True Sight/True Teeing can dispel it, I guess. But what are you doing if you let an enemy cast that while you're basically completely invulnerable/unseen?
-As if it wasn't easy enough to simply use this and move the clone away from combat so it's never in any danger... You can also cast Invisibility on the clone, so those enemies you're fighting who don't ignore invisibility can't see the invisible clone that they need to hit to end your invisibility... Yeah.
-Cast this with a FighteMage/Thief (for extra attacks per round) and just backstab, backstab, backstab, backstab, backstab, backstab endlessly. Or, hell, just do it with a Mage/Thief wielding two +1 APR weapons that allow for backstabs.
-There's actually a non-cheesy use for this spell, against enemies who are vulnerable to backstabs, but ignore invisibility (eg the vast majority of Liches and Glabrezus), but for this I'm gonna need to explain a bit of the backstab mechanics of the game. There are two kinds of "invisibility states" in the game: "actually invisible" (or hidden via hide-in-shadows) and "just untargetabble" (what you get when you use Improved Invisibility and then attack an enemy, for example). To be able to backstab someone (even someone who ignores invisibility, so they can technically see you), you need to be "actually invisible" (meaning creatures who don't ignore invisibility don't even react to you) and this spell lets you remain "actually invisible" even when in the presence of those who ignore invisibility and technically see you. What does that mean? It means that your FighteMage/Thief (or whoever else) can cast Mislead and do the endless backstab thing even against enemies who ignore invisibility, with it not being cheesy in this case cause the enemy can actually turn around and attack you, so you'd need someone else to distract them or you'd need to paralyze them or something, so you can actually get to their back.
-This applies to every kind of invisibility/hide-in-shadows, but it feels more worth it to mention here: attacking in melee while coming out of invisibility gives characters a -4 THAC0 bonus on that attack. But with Mislead you're always doing that (the invisibility just gets reapplied instantly), so you get a -4 bonus to THAC0 all the time while the effect is going on. And, unlike the "AC bonus" of Improved Invisibility, this applies even against enemies who ignore invisibility. So Mislead can also serve as a -4 THAC0 against Demons, Liches and so on. That's a 20% extra chance to hit Demogorgon or something! And it's not a cheesy thing at all!
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-Unlike Invisibility 15' Radius, this doesn't need to be centered on the caster (or anybody else), you can cast it from far away (which makes it that much better to use on a party full of backstabbers who are in the thick of combat while your Mage hangs back).
-Just to be clear: this only affects party members and allied creatures, not neutrals or enemies, so there's no risk in throwing this out in the middle of combat.
-That's, essentially, a -4 bonus to every party member, familiar, summon and clone's saves AND to AC (well, a penalty to enemy attacks, like I already explained before) AND they all become untargetable. Pretty damn big effect, but there's nothing really new to say. So just read the Invisibility 15' Radius and Improved Invisibility sections.
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-This is much better when used by a Sorcerer. Think about it: when a Mage uses Project Image, the clone is able to cast the same spells your Mage has memorized, but when a Sorcerer uses it, the clone can cast completely different spells! If I wanna go ham and cast Spirit Armor on my entire party, I have to memorize it at least 3 times with my Mage, that way I can use PI, the clone can cast it three times, then when the clone dies I can cast it another three. Or I have to memorize it 6 times to begin with, if I don't wanna kill the clone, but then my actual caster has 6 Spirit Armor memorized, which they don't even need, cause the clone already cast it on everybody... So what's the point? I should've just cast it 6 times with my Mage, but then the PI clone won't have anything memorized that level anymore... Meanwhile, a Sorcerer can just have the clone "waste" 6 level 4 slots with 6 casts of Spirit Armor and, once the clone is gone, that doesn't matter at all for my caster, cause they can use completely different spells. Basically, Mages get a COPY of their spellbook when they use a clone, but Sorcerers get a whole DIFFERENT spellbook. Sure, it's still limited by the amount of spells known by the Sorcerer, BUT due to how High-Level Abilities (HLAs) work, Sorcerers get a ton of different options at level 9, meaning that on the most powerful level, they get the most variety.
submitted by RobotPirateMoses to baldursgate [link] [comments]
-Here's part #1: Necromancy school.
-And here's part #2: Enchantment school.
Second, if you don't know the absolute basics about a specific spell, just read the in-game spell descriptions (but, obviously, I'm still gonna point out what's not covered by them as well as some of the more noteworthy points).
Importantly, if any spell ignores magic resistance, I'll mention it, otherwise it doesn't.
ILLUSION
General Illusion warning:
-Thieves/Shamans/Dark Moon Monks using Detect Illusion, the arcane spell True Sight and the divine spell True Seeing will dispel all illusion-induced effects on enemies (not party members), including blindness, fear and deafness caused by the Blindness, Spook and Deafness spells.-This is a bit of a spoiler for the Divination thread, but, yes, that also means you can cure those effects on your party members if they're charmed by enemies (or something else I won't spoil now).
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Blindness
-Level 1 spell with an almost-permanent (100 rounds duration) effect, the second best casting time possible without gear (CT2) and, to top it off, it inflicts one of the best status effects in the game: blindness.-Blindness inflicts a +4 penalty to both AC and THAC0, which is already HUGE (+20% chance to hit the enemy and -20% chance to get hit!), but it also reduces a character's vision range to such a small range you can easily attack enemies from safety with long-reach weapons (staves, spears, Monk fists, two-handed swords, halberds) or, obviously, ranged weapons. It's not even a problem if the enemy AI is of the kind that walks up to you when they get attacked (not all enemies do that, some will just stand there and take the hits), cause you can easily get out of the tiny vision range and if they try to to cast a spell it will fizzle, cause they won't be able to target as soon as you walk out of that range (in practice, it's the same result as going invisible while they're casting a spell targeted at you).
-Blindness, as a status effect, is so rarely resisted I can't even remember any group of enemies that are immune to it (only individual enemies). Beholders can be blinded, preventing them from using their rays on you (unless you get close), dragons can be blinded (though Firkraag and several others are immune, but, for example, Morentherene and Nizidramanii'yt aren't), Liches can be blinded (just not with this spell, cause it's level 1), most Demons can be blinded, nearly all Undead can be blinded, Mind Flayers can be blinded (though you gotta get past their Magic Resistance first)... Hell, blindness is one of the very few effects that can be inflicted on enemies wearing the famed MINHP1 item.
-Blindness can be used as a way to countervent a creature's ability to ignore invisibility. For example: can't approach a demon from behind to backstab it, cause it always turns around to hit you? Blind it, hide (or go invisible) and then use a quarterstaff to backstab it from outside its vision range.
-You can blind your own Thieves so they can set traps/hide during combat (as long as enemies aren't glued to you), cause, bizarrely, the check is for whether you can see enemies, not whether they can see you (for programming reasons). Yeah, pretty big exploit (though if you're a solo Mage/Thief you might have problems actually seeing things/playing the game unless you use a Familiar or something else to see for you).
-This spell is almost the entire reason for being an Illusionist, cause almost no other spell from this school rolls a save. And it's a pretty good reason too, cause this spell with a save penalty (and put into a Minor Sequencer!) is a menace. Have your gnomes spam this all day, every day.
-Fun fact: this is supposed to be a level 2 spell, cause that's what it is in PnP (and also Icewind Dale). Who thought it was a good idea to make it level 1?
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Reflected Image
-Do I use this a lot? No, I don't. Is it a bad spell? Not really! The only reason few people use this is cause Mirror Image, the upgraded version, exists already and is easily available (only one level above, plus, there are three items across the series that let even non-Mages or Necromancers have it: the Fractal Blade in SoD and Ilbratha and the Ring of Duplication in BG2EE).-A 50% chance to prevent an entire attack's worth of damage may not be so appealing for a character who gets hit easily (bad AC), but it's a lot more interesting for a character who rarely does (great AC). Think about it like this: if this prevents a hit on a bad AC character, the next hit is gonna come quickly and you'll die fast (so what's the point?), but if this prevents a hit on a good AC character that means you prevented a high roll attack (which is more likely to have been a crit) and the next attack still won't hit you easily, which means you're good as a "defensive character" (ie you're using a real strategy). Plus, the less likely it is for you to get hit, the less likely it is for you to lose this protection, which means you don't have to re-up it constantly (unlike with the bad AC character, which would have to memorize a bunch of this and constantly re-cast it to actually be able to survive).
-It's especially good for characters who have positive luck (either from the priest spell Chant, from the unkitted/Blade Bard Songs, the Luck spell that merely lasts 3 rounds, the Cloverleaf belt in SoD or the scimitar that permanently gives +1 luck in IWDEE), cause then enemies will always hit the image before you. That means this spell simply becomes "avoid the next single-target attack", which is pretty nice.
-The stronger the enemy or their on-hit effects, the more valuable this spell gets. Preventing a single bastard sword hit from a random hobgoblin might be almost pointless, but preventing an arrow from an Elite Hobgoblin from poisoning you or a Ghoul's attack from paralyzing you is a pretty big deal. Plus, some enemies have one-and-done attacks, like some BG2EE Clerics who like to use Harm or Slay Living (miss the attack = spell failed). Though, ofc, this is all better done via Mirror Image.
-Keep in mind that Stoneskin (a buff used for similar defensive purposes) doesn't protect against such things and images (from both Reflected Image and Mirror Image) also prevent single-target elemental damage, not just physical. If a Harm attack hits a character with Stonekin, their HP is gonna be reduced to 1, if it hits a Reflected Image's image, it won't. If a Fire Elemental hits a Mage protected by Stoneskin casting a spell, their casting will be interrupted by the fire damage portion of their attack (even if the Mage is 100% resistant to fire!), but if it hits a Reflected Image's image, the casting won't be interrupted. EDIT: some on-hit effects (eg an Otyugh's and Ghouls') are bugged and affect you even if they hit your images. But the two I mentioned don't, for example.
-A very niche scenario where I've used Reflected Image a lot before was with an Illusionist2->Fighter in BGEE (who, therefore, didn't have access to Mirror Image). I dualed at that point cause I just wanted a bow-wielding Fighter who could use wands and cast Spook/Blindness with a specialist save penalty, but I ended up using Reflected Image from time to time, as I stayed away from enemies and had great AC vs missile damage (with the Shield spell, the Boots of Avoidance, the Claw of Kazgaroth and the Cloak of Displacement you can get insanely low AC vs missile damage in BGEE), so I rarely got hit, but even then the image prevented those rare hits (meaning I was often left unscathed).
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Spook
-3 rounds of fear might not seem like much, but that's 3 whole rounds where the enemy doesn't: attack you (well, mostly), cast spells, use other abilities. Also, that's 3 rounds for you to pelt your enemy with arrows/throwing daggers/other spells etc.. Don't just run after the enemy to try to attack them in melee like a ding dong, get yourself some ranged weapons (hell, Fighters and other warrior classes can use weapons they're not proficient with with a mere +2 THAC0 penalty, so you can give every warrior a bow, whether they have proficienty points in that or not!).-This spell's penalty to saves against it is the strongest inherent save penalty in the game (well, it can be, as it's level-dependent), tied with Earthquake. Enemies saving against this spell when cast by a level 12+ Illusionist have a +8 penalty (!!!) to their save vs spells... It's gonna hit. It's gonna. No, really. Think about it for a second: if the enemy has a save vs spells of 12+, they cannot save against it (there are no "crits" when it comes to saving throws). Throw in a Greater Malison and suddenly enemies with save vs spells 8+ cannot save! That means a Fighter cannot save against this combo (GM + lv12 Illusionist's Spook) unless they're level 15+ (especially cause enemies almost never have save-enhancing gear). And even if they're level 17+ to get the best save vs spells for Fighters (6), they'll still fail the save 90% of the time!
-This spell's save penalty is so nutty that you can use it as a spellcasting disruption tool. Especially cause it has a casting time of 1! Sure, Mages have better saves than most... But that's a +8 penalty for Illusionists.
-To be clear: this already gets a +1 penalty at level 2 (the only Mage level without a penalty is level 1), so even if you dual from an Illusionist at the lowest level possible (2), for some reason, you're still gonna get a damn good +3 save penalty.
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Blur
-Doesn't actually do what it says (though it only matters if you're super AC-stacking): it improves your AC by 3 points, it doesn't give a penalty to enemy attacks. -3 AC is actually a damn good buff and it lasts for quite a while (4 rounds + 2 per level).-One aspect that people often forget about is the -1 bonus to all saving throws. Sure, it might not sound like much, but imagine you're a level 7 Mage in BGEE:
Your save vs spells is 10
-3 from Spirit Armor
-3 from the Claw of Kazgaroth
-1 from a Ring/Amulet/Cloak of Protection +1
-1 from a Robe of [Alignment] Archmagi
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Save vs spells 2, meaning you can still fail on a roll of 1. But throw in Blur's -1 on top of that and suddenly you cannot fail a regular save vs spells in BGEE before you even reach Baldur's Gate (where you can find the Ring of Protection +2 and such). And, hell, if you're an Enchanter, that means you're already immune to Domination (the spell, that has an inherent +2 penalty), but also almost all of the enemies' versions as well (eg from Vampires). A vampire already can't charm you and you're not even in BG2EE to encounter them (though SoD has a few).
-Don't forget though: this isn't just a save vs spells bonus, it's a bonus against all saves! That means this spell also makes it easier to reach a save vs death of 3 early, a point in which you become immune to Stinking Clouds (so feel free to spam them on top of yourself).
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Deafness
-First, deafness (the status effect) causes a 50% chance to fail when casting spells. That's... Pretty annoying if you're the victim. Add a slow effect on top of that (from any slow source) and suddenly enemies can only cast once every two rounds and have a 50% chance to fail on top of that. Basically, they're not gonna be a threat.-This effect is permanent (until death, dispel or cure) and ignores magic resistance (!!!), so it could be easier to make this work than Silence 15' Radius (even with it's +5 penalty to the save) if the enemy has a lot of MR, especially if you're an Illusionist. Wanna prevent a Drow Cleric or Mage from casting spells? This is the easier way to do it out of those two.
-Sure it might not be so easy to inflict this on a Mage, but: a) it might be not be as difficult as you expect (not all Mages have godlike save vs spells, especially in BGEE); b) as a level 2 spell, it can fit into a Minor Sequencer, making it a lot more likely to hit Mages and powerful creatures and c) there are plenty of non-Mage spellcasters out there with crappy saves vs spells.
-You might think that a 50% chance of spellcasting is not enough, but you need to consider that it's not JUST a 50% chance of spellcasting failure. It's 50% on top of everything else you have!
-Think about it like this: an enemy is spamming Domination (save vs spells with a penalty of 2) and you have a save vs spells of 8 (something a level 1 Mage can get with the Claw of Kazgaroth and a Ring of Protection +1), that's a 45% chance of you making that save. But add Deafness' 50% chance of spell failure to the enemy and suddenly when you combine both odds you get a 72.5% chance of succefully avoiding that spell in any given round... And, remember, that's with a save vs spells that any Mage can easily get at the start of BGEE. Not to mention that you can add some Magic Resistance (however minor) on top of all of that and the enemy will quickly get an astronomically low chance of hitting you with anything. But saves and MR aren't things you need to apply to the enemy, all you need to apply from that equation is deafness, so most of it comes naturally.
-Remember how I said this is great against Drow? Well, what kind of saves and MR do you have when you get to meet your first Drow Mage or Cleric? Pretty good ones, even if you have a whole party that needs to share gear. So Deafness is, for sure, more than enough to prevent any major spell effects (charms, instakills, feebleminds, confusion...) from working on you when you cast it on a Drow.
-PSA: the old "two deafness effects combined make for 100% spell failure" doesn't work anymore and hasn't in ages. You can't be super deaf, just... Regular deaf.
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Invisibility
-It lasts for 24 freaking hours (or until you attack). That's not something to be taken lightly, it's huge.-You're able to cast this before travelling to most places in both BGEE and BG2EE and still have it when you arrive at your destination (unless you're travelling from one end of the map to the other, but you can easily travel to someplace else in-between first to avoid a 24+ hour travel time), which means that you can, for example, get waylaid by enemies and NOT have to defend yourself until you're ready. Just walk out of sight, casts buffs, summon creatures, whatever you want and then waylay the enemy waylaiders yourself, making them have to defend themselves.
-24 hour duration means you can get 3 casts of this for the cost of a single spell slot. Cast, rest, cast, rest, cast again... And the first cast will still last for just under 8 hours. Or, hell, let's say you're a level 3 Mage with one mere spell slot of level 2, you can cast this, choose another spell, then rest and, voila, you can get Invisibility plus something else.
-I'm trying hard not to just talk about contingencies/sequencers/triggers all the time (cause those will get their own thread), but I can't avoid it here, as Invisibility is by far one of the best spells to use with those.
-Picture this: you're a solo Illusionist12/Thief13 multiclass going up against a group of enemies who start with blue circles (eg Mae'Var and his crew in BG2EE). Minor Globe of Invulnerability -> Hide -> Backstab -> Contingency on enemy sighted triggers turning you invisible -> Backstab -> instantly use Minor Sequencer with Web and Invisibility centered on yourself -> Backstab webbed foe who you can't miss -> Cast invisibility -> Backstab -> Repeat that five more times (or more if you have extra level 2 spell slots). That's a minimum (cause, again, you can have more spell slots and you can also have gear that lets you get more Invisibility) of 9 backstabs while barely even getting seen, with 7 of those being backstabs that can't miss (as you're going for whatever enemies failed their saves and are currently webbed).
-Or, hell, you can just put it at the end of a Spell Sequencer along with, say, 2x Sunfire. Walk up to enemies and, once they surround you, target yourself with that. The result? 2x Sunfire on everybody and then you're invisible, meaning you're safe, despite being surrounded. Or you can do it to simply never be found out: come in invisible, use a sequencer with Invisibility at the end centered on yourself and walk away without ever having been revealed (if the sequencer is instantaneous, as it can be if you use any casting-time-reducing gear).
-Contigency -> Invisibility is also a pretty convenient "oh shit" Contingency to have. Single-class Mage who can't access (reliable) self-cure for status effects like hold via Contingency? Just put Invisibility in instead, so that it triggers when you're helpless and then you can just wait out the effect. Or maybe you'd like to use it with a 50% hp condition, so you can easily leave combat and heal safely before going back.
-Invisibility is also one of the most reliable spellcasting disruptors out there... As long as you're using it against a targeted (non-AoE, like a Fireball, non-self-centered, like Mage Armor) spell. A Mage or Cleric is casting Finger of Death against you? (if you hear "Vita, Mortis..." coming from a high level Mage or Cleric, there's a good chance it's that) Turn invisible to make them waste their spell. A Mage or Cleric is trying to charm or hold you? (if you hear "Cupio", there's a very high chance that's what's coming) Go invisible and, again, make them waste their spell. There's a reason Invisibility is one of only three spells for which I have specific keybindings ("1" is my Nahal's Reckless Dweomer key, "2" is Chromatic Orb and "3" is Invisibility). It's the "oh shit" button.
-With its incredibly long duration, you can also do some stuff you couldn't do with, say Improved Invisibility (much shorter duration), like turn invisible and set off all Cloakwood web traps safely and then wait for them to go away.
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Mirror Image
-Already talked about most of the things in the Reflected Image part, so go read that. This is just that, but a lot stronger.-Do note that this gets a different number of images depending on your level, so, although the items that give you Mirror Image casts are amazing, the actual spell is more potent for a regular Mage. For comparison: a level 18 Mage casting the spell gets 8 images on a single cast, Ilbratha (the shortsword) gets you 4 images once per day and the Ring of Duplication gets you 5 images three times per day.
-This being a level 2 spell means you can put it on a Minor Sequencer. This + Chant (for the +1 luck) on a Minor Sequencer for a Cleric/Mage is extremely powerful. That's 8 images that enemies have to go through for sure (due to the +1 luck) before they can hit you in melee, with a ranged weapon or a targeted spell.
-Single-class Mages can actually do something similar with Mirror Image + Luck (the spell, yes, I thought of a way to use it). Sure, Luck only lasts 3 rounds, but imagine a situation where you expect to get hit a lot... Can you not see yourself taking 8 hits in 3 rounds from, say, a mob of enemies surrounding you? Even if you have good AC, when there's a bunch of enemies the crits start coming in fast and AC can't do anything against that.
-Sure, you can use Protection from Magical Weapons eventually, but this is a level 2 spell that you can also use after that initial protection runs out. Plus, Mirror Image doesn't just block hits from magical weapons, it also protects against hits from normal ones (and there some of those even in Throne of Bhaal. For example, in the fight at the Saradush barracks where both enemies with normal weapons and magical weapons swarm you). Also, Protection from Magical Weapons is a level 6 spell and you might wanna use most/all of those slots for something else, especially if you're not playing solo.
-If you have excellent AC and luck (from any source), this can often be better than Protection from Normal/Magical Weapons/Mantle etc., because it lasts for a much longer time and is enough to prevent rare hits against you (cause, again, we're talking about characters with excellent AC). If you have so much AC that someone can't hit you without a crit (actually not that hard to do, depending on the enemy), then Protection from Normal/Magical Weapons protects you from those rare crits for 4 rounds, meanwhile Mirror Image will probably protect you from those same crits for longer (unless you get really unlucky and dudes just roll 9+ crits against you in four rounds, though you can easily cast Mirror Image again before the images run out if that's the case).
-Finally, nothing is stopping you from comboing this with Stoneskin and Protection from Normal/Magical Weapons, of course. That's something a lot of people do, but it's often overkill unless you're going up against really powerful foes. Remember, overbuffing causes the most damage of all things: it wastes time from your life lol. And Mirror Image is the lowest level out of all of those spells, so it costs the least to use, while achieving similar results most of the time.
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Invisibility 10' Radius
-A spell I bet some players have never even scribed into their spellbooks. Why? Because it's only available as a random drop in BGEE and in BG2EE it's only available in the Thief stronghold or shops located in "high level areas" (and if you're not low level yourself, you often just scroll past the low level scrolls in a shop to get to the higher level ones), ie in the City of Caverns, Suldanessellar, Watcher's Keep and Saradush. Sure, the shop at Watcher's Keep is available at the start of the game, but some players avoid going there at lower levels.-All the amazingness of Invisibility, but now for your whole party. Incredible spell to have if you have more than one backstabber in the party. Careful though: it's centered on your Mage, so using it during combat can be tricky if you don't know what you're doing.
-Don't underestimate how good this is for parties without backstabbers as well. You can prevent an enemy Mage from annoying you by backstabbing them before they can act, sure, but you know what you can also do? Surround them with invisible warriors and then attack all at once, to possibly do even more damage than a single backstab (though you can combine backstabs with that strategy as well).
-If you like the idea of your party attacking all at once from stealth/invisibility (especially if you want multiple simultaneous backstabs, that require enemies to not change positions, so you hit their backs), then having any amount of positive luck (use Chant to get it on the whole party) and having speed factor 0 (haste lower SF by 2 btw) all help make your characters attack together. If you want to go truly nuts with it and have five or six backstabbers, I wrote about that kind of thing in a post almost nobody saw a long time ago lol. If anything, I hope you can appreciate the beauty of doing five backstabs at once to instantly kill the Demon Knight. Sure, backstabbers can hide by themselves, but keeping everybody hidden simultaneously can be a pain if they're not just invisible.
-A Fairy Dragon Familiar can cast this for you in BG2EE (not BGEE). So even (Chaotic Good) Necromancers have a way to access this spell.
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Wraithform (also an Alteration, so Abjurers can't use it either)
-Protection from Normal Weapons (an underrated effect), but available in BGEE where it's even more effective!-Whose weapons/attacks are considered unenchanted in BGEE? Whose aren't would be an easier question to answer. Even Aec'Letec's attacks count as unenchanted!
-Whose weapons/attacks are considered unenchanted in BG2EE? That's a difficult question to answer, cause it's hard to compile a list, but, off the top of my head:
=>Rakshasa
=>Nabassus (including the Master of Thralls at the Astral Prison)
=>Djinni/Efreeti
=>Mummies (not Greater ones)
=>Some Shades/Shadows (including Shade Wolves and a lot of the ones that drain STR)
=>Some mob enemies in Throne of Bhaal (there's often a few mixed in with the enemies equipped with magical weapons to throw you off, for example at the "horde" fight in the Saradush Barracks)
=>Many humanoid enemies (think about how many times you see someone drop a crappy unenchanted weapon)
=>Many spiders
=>Carrion Crawlers
=>Nishruu
=>Most Sahuagin (in melee)
=>A lot of Kuo-Toa (in melee)
=>Amnian Soldiers/Centurions (great for those of us who love to cause trouble in Valygar's home to get a ton of free Full Plate Mails and plenty of xp).
-Unlike similar spells that prevent spellcasting, this also prevents the use of special abilities. However, you can still use items, like wands, the Nymph Cloak, Relair's Mistake and so on.
-This is a great spell for dual/multiclass Mages (M/T, C/M, F/M) or Bards, all of whom can still fight well after losing access to spellcasting. Cleric/Mages can also buff themselves up a ton before casting this, so they might end up fighting regularly if you're the kind of person who likes to buff and then auto-attack with Clerics instead of casting constantly during combat.
-"But the scroll is available so late in BGEE". Yes and no:
=>You can rush to Candlekeep if you want to abuse this spell early as, say, a Bard or a FighteMage (you literally only have to kill two people to get there: Mulahey and Davaeorn, you can just ignore everything else via invisibility).
=>Quayle gets this spell in his spellbook if you recruit him after reaching 32k xp (and, considering where he is, that's very likely), and, as a Cleric/Illusionist, he can still fight after losing his spellcasting.
=>Don't forget that Sorcerers can access any spell without relying on scrolls, so you can use your Sorcerer as a "tank" while the rest of your party and/or summons do the damage (just be sure to keep attacking with the Sorcerer to more easily keep the aggro on you). Plus, if you know what you're doing, even a Sorcerer can do well in melee against your average mob. Or just use Relair's Mistake to become a wolf if you don't know how to melee with a regular Sorcerer (can't use Polymorph Self shennanigans cause special abilities are disabled).
-Wraithform is also a mere level 3 spell that has decent duration scaling (2 rounds per level), which makes it very viable for low level duals. A Mage5->Fighter can easily use this to be able to have Protection from Normal Weapons for 10 rounds without actual access to that level 5 spell.
-A FighteMage or Cleric/Mage of any sort can also use Vhailor's Helm to access Simulacrum early in BG2EE and have their clone cast this to tank whatever enemy uses normal weapons while the caster can attack and cast spells normally. Sure, it's easier to use an Imp familiar polymorphed into a Mustard Jelly or a clone polymorphed into that, but: a) non-Lawful Evil and non-protagonist characters can't get an Imp familiar and b) Your FighteMage clone is probably stronger in their normal form with their regular attacks than in Mustard Jelly form.
-"But what about having your clone cast Protection from Normal Weapons instead?" You can do that, yes, but this spell also gives +25% magic damage resistance, so if you're wearing the Belt of Inertial Barrier (+50%) you're more than good to spam Skull Traps on your Wraithform'd clone (they're only gonna take 25% damage and there's still the save to halve that, that's almost no damage). So your clone is tanking enemies with normal weapons AND can get bombarded with Skull Traps all with a single spell. Admittedly, it's a lot more useful in BGEE (where Protection from Normal Weapons doesn't exist), but you can use it in BG2EE.
.
Improved Invisibility
-Has a much shorter duration compared to regular Invisibility's 24 hour, so they serve sorta different purposes. Don't waste this as a spellcasting disruption tool, nor waste it on "oh shit" Contingencies (especially cause the effect that screwed you could outlast this spell).-Unless the enemy ignores invisibility, this essentially makes you immune to all sorts of targeted effects like Finger of Death, Maze, Melf's Acid Arrow, Domination etc. for the duration of the spell. Don't waste time protecting yourself against those if you're using this!
-For no goddamn reason, this gives you a massive -4 bonus to all saving throws (go read what I said about saving throw bonuses in the part about Blur). Absolutely insane. Combine it with, say, a Spirit Armor's bonkers -3 to save vs spells and you're already at -7. That's enough to make a level 11+ Mage immune to any spell that requires a save vs spells to work (unless it inflicts a penalty to saves, ofc). So, yeah, wear a simple Ring of Protection +2 on top of that and suddenly that level 11 Mage can't be Web'd, Dominated etc. (spells that inflict a +2 penalty). Also, keep in mind that, while some enemies ignore invisibility, you still get this save bonus even if that's the case, so you can still use this spell against a Lich, for example.
-There's also a massive +4 THAC0 penalty to creatures (who don't ignore invisibility) attacking you. This is huge not only because it's a -20% chance to get hit, but also because it can stack with capped AC. You know how general AC caps out at -20 (well, not really, it can go down further than that with AC coming from high DEX and Single-Weapon style)? Well, a penalty to the enemy's attack isn't really AC, so it stacks to help enemies not hit you at super high levels.
-One extremely niche advantage that this has over regular Invisibility is that, as a level 4 spell, it doesn't get dispelled by Detect Illusion (the spell, not the Thief/Shaman/Dark Moon Monk ability).
.
Shadow Door
-It's Improved Invisibility, except with a shorter casting time (2 vs 4, wow), it costs a higher level spell slot and it lasts 3 rounds less (??????????????????????). One of the few spells in the game that I genuinely cannot find a reason to ever use. I even found a use for Shocking Grasp the other day... But never this.-I guess the shorter casting time could be useful in Icewind Dale where CT-lowering gear is only available in the expansion areas... But, even then, if you're that desperate to go invisible quickly just use Invisibility! I don't understand what the devs were thinking here.
-The spell's effect is very cool though.
.
Mislead
-Yep, it's here. One of the very few spells I consider to be "too cheesy even for me", but feel free to use it yourself (I did use it a lot on my saviour-pacifist run though, it's very good for that).-If the enemy doesn't ignore invisibility and they can't see your clone (cause it simply walked away, for example...), they just sit there and do absolutely nothing while you do whatever you want to them. It essentially disables enemy AI (well, unless they have other people to attack), which is why it's pretty boring to use most of the time.
-True Sight/True Teeing can dispel it, I guess. But what are you doing if you let an enemy cast that while you're basically completely invulnerable/unseen?
-As if it wasn't easy enough to simply use this and move the clone away from combat so it's never in any danger... You can also cast Invisibility on the clone, so those enemies you're fighting who don't ignore invisibility can't see the invisible clone that they need to hit to end your invisibility... Yeah.
-Cast this with a FighteMage/Thief (for extra attacks per round) and just backstab, backstab, backstab, backstab, backstab, backstab endlessly. Or, hell, just do it with a Mage/Thief wielding two +1 APR weapons that allow for backstabs.
-There's actually a non-cheesy use for this spell, against enemies who are vulnerable to backstabs, but ignore invisibility (eg the vast majority of Liches and Glabrezus), but for this I'm gonna need to explain a bit of the backstab mechanics of the game. There are two kinds of "invisibility states" in the game: "actually invisible" (or hidden via hide-in-shadows) and "just untargetabble" (what you get when you use Improved Invisibility and then attack an enemy, for example). To be able to backstab someone (even someone who ignores invisibility, so they can technically see you), you need to be "actually invisible" (meaning creatures who don't ignore invisibility don't even react to you) and this spell lets you remain "actually invisible" even when in the presence of those who ignore invisibility and technically see you. What does that mean? It means that your FighteMage/Thief (or whoever else) can cast Mislead and do the endless backstab thing even against enemies who ignore invisibility, with it not being cheesy in this case cause the enemy can actually turn around and attack you, so you'd need someone else to distract them or you'd need to paralyze them or something, so you can actually get to their back.
-This applies to every kind of invisibility/hide-in-shadows, but it feels more worth it to mention here: attacking in melee while coming out of invisibility gives characters a -4 THAC0 bonus on that attack. But with Mislead you're always doing that (the invisibility just gets reapplied instantly), so you get a -4 bonus to THAC0 all the time while the effect is going on. And, unlike the "AC bonus" of Improved Invisibility, this applies even against enemies who ignore invisibility. So Mislead can also serve as a -4 THAC0 against Demons, Liches and so on. That's a 20% extra chance to hit Demogorgon or something! And it's not a cheesy thing at all!
.
Mass Invisibility
-Actually Improved Invisibility, but to everybody in a BIG area and with a 3 rounds shorter duration (max 20 instead of max 23).-Unlike Invisibility 15' Radius, this doesn't need to be centered on the caster (or anybody else), you can cast it from far away (which makes it that much better to use on a party full of backstabbers who are in the thick of combat while your Mage hangs back).
-Just to be clear: this only affects party members and allied creatures, not neutrals or enemies, so there's no risk in throwing this out in the middle of combat.
-That's, essentially, a -4 bonus to every party member, familiar, summon and clone's saves AND to AC (well, a penalty to enemy attacks, like I already explained before) AND they all become untargetable. Pretty damn big effect, but there's nothing really new to say. So just read the Invisibility 15' Radius and Improved Invisibility sections.
.
Project Image (continued in the comments, cause, I kid you not, if I put this tiny part in the comment as well, I reach the comment character-limit)
-This sorta doubles your spellbook (it's better than that, actually), so, one hand, the possibilites with this are endless; but, on the other, talking about most of those possibilities would just be talking about the possibilites of using all spells. So I'm gonna focus on things that make Project Image special compared to simply having another spellcaster that's (almost) exactly the same as you.-This is much better when used by a Sorcerer. Think about it: when a Mage uses Project Image, the clone is able to cast the same spells your Mage has memorized, but when a Sorcerer uses it, the clone can cast completely different spells! If I wanna go ham and cast Spirit Armor on my entire party, I have to memorize it at least 3 times with my Mage, that way I can use PI, the clone can cast it three times, then when the clone dies I can cast it another three. Or I have to memorize it 6 times to begin with, if I don't wanna kill the clone, but then my actual caster has 6 Spirit Armor memorized, which they don't even need, cause the clone already cast it on everybody... So what's the point? I should've just cast it 6 times with my Mage, but then the PI clone won't have anything memorized that level anymore... Meanwhile, a Sorcerer can just have the clone "waste" 6 level 4 slots with 6 casts of Spirit Armor and, once the clone is gone, that doesn't matter at all for my caster, cause they can use completely different spells. Basically, Mages get a COPY of their spellbook when they use a clone, but Sorcerers get a whole DIFFERENT spellbook. Sure, it's still limited by the amount of spells known by the Sorcerer, BUT due to how High-Level Abilities (HLAs) work, Sorcerers get a ton of different options at level 9, meaning that on the most powerful level, they get the most variety.
2023.03.25 11:34 alicedaisy_ successful day in the skull caverns ⛏️
 | submitted by alicedaisy_ to StardewValley [link] [comments] |
2023.03.25 08:10 AutoModerator Celebrate! Saturday [March 25, 2023]
Welcome to Celebrate! Saturday
This is the weekly hype thread, a place for you to share your excitement about in-game achievements, lucky drops, and upcoming projects. This is also a space for the community to celebrate you!While the subreddit is already a positive, celebratory space, this thread is meant to be especially so. For those of you who might hesitate to post something to the subreddit, because you worry it might be too beginner, too redundant, too low-effort: it's not. Come share with us here!
(Note: this thread is not meant to replace posting directly to the subreddit. You are still welcome to do so!)
Non-exhaustive examples of things to celebrate:
- Marrying your spouse!
- Getting a giant crop!
- Perfecting your farm or house design!
- The mushroom hat! The tiger hat! The living hat!
- Meteorites, Stone Owls, and Strange Capsules!
- A dinosaur egg from fishing or hoeing!
- Hooking a legendary fish!
- Getting triple Stardrop at the casino
- Beating Lewis at Junimo Kart!
If you want to share screenshots of your achievements, upload them to an image-sharing site like Imgur and drop a link in your comment.
| Achievement | Flair |
|---|---|
| Complete the community center! | A prismatic dancing Junimo |
| Fund all Joja Community Projects | A prismatic Joja Cola |
| Complete the museum collection! | An artifact trove busting open |
| Reach level 100 in Skull Cavern! | A flying serpent |
| Complete all Monster Slayer goals! | The prismatic slime |
| Cook every meal! | The Queen of Sauce herself |
| Craft every item! | Robin hard at work |
| Catch every fish! | The Legend, swimming |
| Beat Journey of a Prairie King | The King himself |
| Collect every hat in the game! | Magic Cowboy Hat |
| Reach Perfection! | A walking golden chicken |
Get hyped!
2023.03.24 20:26 Aisha197 I Love Monster Musk
I never realized nor heard how great this item is. Started my third playthrough last week (doing different farms), and for the first time yesterday decided to craft this Monster Old Spice. Immediately helped meet guild slaying goals, and with the slime charmer and burglar ring going into Skull Cavern with all three is the most fun l've had. Stairs? Master slingshot? Nah lemme just massacre enemies for stairs and still get iridium bar drops on floor 5. It's insane and l just had to share how glad l am l started using it.
submitted by Aisha197 to StardewValley [link] [comments]
2023.03.24 15:58 goldencain1410 Got 2 Lucky Rings from the Quarry Mine and decided to see if they work.
Spoiler alert: They do.
I admit I was skeptical when I got the first ring. Plus 1 luck? Big deal, I can get that from eating spicy eel. I love my burglar and slime charmer rings way too much to forsake them ... But then I got a second lucky ring, and I thought, 'If these stack, that might actually make a difference. I'll go into Skull Cavern and see if I notice anything.' Full disclosure, I'm bad at Skull Cavern. I always staircase my way to level 100, and I've never made it past level 120ish. I wasn't expecting a miracle here.
So, I waited for a super luck day and went in. My strategy was this: wear both lucky rings when entering a floor or laying bombs because they affect if you get a staircase. Swap one out for the burglar ring when fighting enemies so you get those sweet, sweet drops.
At first, everything seemed pretty normal. I did notice I was getting more shafts than usual, but I could have been imagining it. Then I got a prismatic shard. Yay! Already have the Galaxy Sword, but that's nice. Then I got a second prismatic shard. Woohoo, that's the most I've ever gotten in a single run, and there's still time until 2 AM. Then I got a third prismatic shard, and I thought, 'Wait a second what's going on here?' Then I hit a treasure floor and got an autopetter. I almost quit right there rather than push my *ahem* luck, but I kept going.
Next thing I knew, I was in a very familiar room, drinking some very nasty snake milk! I had made it to floor 100 without using staircases, without even trying, without even noticing. So yeah, I think it's safe to say the lucky rings work. The Quarry Mine also gave me some Magic Rock Candy, which gives +5 luck. My next plan is to eat one and then see what +7 luck looks like. I'll report back when/if I do!
submitted by goldencain1410 to StardewValley [link] [comments]
I admit I was skeptical when I got the first ring. Plus 1 luck? Big deal, I can get that from eating spicy eel. I love my burglar and slime charmer rings way too much to forsake them ... But then I got a second lucky ring, and I thought, 'If these stack, that might actually make a difference. I'll go into Skull Cavern and see if I notice anything.' Full disclosure, I'm bad at Skull Cavern. I always staircase my way to level 100, and I've never made it past level 120ish. I wasn't expecting a miracle here.
So, I waited for a super luck day and went in. My strategy was this: wear both lucky rings when entering a floor or laying bombs because they affect if you get a staircase. Swap one out for the burglar ring when fighting enemies so you get those sweet, sweet drops.
At first, everything seemed pretty normal. I did notice I was getting more shafts than usual, but I could have been imagining it. Then I got a prismatic shard. Yay! Already have the Galaxy Sword, but that's nice. Then I got a second prismatic shard. Woohoo, that's the most I've ever gotten in a single run, and there's still time until 2 AM. Then I got a third prismatic shard, and I thought, 'Wait a second what's going on here?' Then I hit a treasure floor and got an autopetter. I almost quit right there rather than push my *ahem* luck, but I kept going.
Next thing I knew, I was in a very familiar room, drinking some very nasty snake milk! I had made it to floor 100 without using staircases, without even trying, without even noticing. So yeah, I think it's safe to say the lucky rings work. The Quarry Mine also gave me some Magic Rock Candy, which gives +5 luck. My next plan is to eat one and then see what +7 luck looks like. I'll report back when/if I do!
2023.03.24 15:24 C21-_-H30-_-O2 Is this enough mods yet?
 | submitted by C21-_-H30-_-O2 to StardewValleyExpanded [link] [comments] |
2023.03.24 15:09 McSix Poisoned Home
The ants started in the summer. Nothing unusual, just a few that crawled their way into the kitchen to snack on bits of food. Penny had been working extra hard in the garden that year, trying to transform flower beds into something that might produce food. I didn’t think she was going to have a lot of luck with it, the weather being as unpredictable as it was, but it was worth a try, given how unpredictable everything else was. In between that and the compost pile, we got a lot of attention from the wildlife, scroungers and feeders and everything else that was being pushed out by the new development. I suppose in all that digging and planting we might have stirred something up.
The days started to get shorter, but still the ants came, the once tiny bands of scouts turning into small riots of black wriggling that surrounded any food dropped on the floor. It wasn’t long before there were trains of ants marching their way up the counters to rob the kitchen of whatever they might find there.
I admired their industriousness, but them getting onto the counters was the last straw for me. Penny just said to wait until the weather got colder, so I did, but that only made things worse. The colder it got, and that autumn it got cold fast, the more ants we found. Soon it wasn’t just in the kitchen, but any place that they might forage.
So I bought the poison, something not dangerous to humans, but a spreading toxin to ants and insects, something new called Terra Meta Borax. You put a few drops of the liquid somewhere you knew the ants would be and its sweet scent would lure them to it. It wouldn’t kill them straight away, but rather let them lift little toxic globules back to the colony so it would kill the nest instead of a single ant. I wasn’t exactly sure how it worked, but it somehow involved a molecularly enhanced boric acid, so I can’t imagine it was a pleasant way to go.
It worked, though. The ants stopped. We’d still see a few in the bathroom, which didn’t make sense to me – I don’t think ants eat waste. It was the warmest room in the house, though, sitting above the water-heater and HVAC units in the crawlspace.
Eventually, the ones in the bathroom really started to bug (ha ha) Penny. The rare long bath she took was one of the few luxuries in a busy life, and the ants were upsetting that small comfort. So I cleared some space and put down poison, spattering more droplets than I had ever used before. Finished, I backed up quick, startled at the number of ants that came streaming out, tiny black bodies, antenna wiggling, searching and fevered for the toxic archipelago I had created.
Their excitement unsettled me, seeing so many swarming to embrace a slow, chemical death. I put that aside as childish, though, telling myself that the poison was designed to attract them, and that’s what it was doing.
Their numbers in the bathroom dwindled until one day Penny finished filling the tub and moments later I heard her scream. I rushed in, an unexpected level of adrenaline quickening my feet, but it was only Penny having quickly retracted a toe from the ice cold water of the bath she had just drawn.
I told her I’d check the water-heater in the morning. She wasn’t happy about it, but she was a kind enough that she didn’t press it that night. The crawlspace might be big enough that you didn’t have to go hand and knee into it, but it was a low, earthen cellar. We’d put in a sump pump and gutters to route the waters that came down in the torrential winter rains, but it was still wet and muddy.
There was only a single light down there, and it wasn’t reliable, and the water-heater was far beyond the reach of whatever shard of light might sneak in past the entrance. So in the morning I took a light when I stepped outside and circled the house, coming to the cellar entrance, a half-door set into the house’s brick foundation. I had to lean hard into it, pushing the wooden boards through a shelf of mud that had built up on the inside, black muck seeping from underneath it.
Inside was as dark as the soil. I shined the light around, but it only lit a few yards. Our house wasn’t a big one, but under it, the cellar was like its own cavern system.
I stepped in, my feet sinking into the sludge, causing me to curse the handyman who had installed the gutters, certain they and the sump pump must have failed. Grateful I had rubber boots on, I moved forward, pointing my light in the direction I knew the water-heater should be, but not seeing anything. There was nothing but an inky darkness, with occasional ripples, like fragments of light reflecting from the bottom of a deep well.
I struggled to find my way to the nearest structural pillar, hoping to use it as a guidepost. Each was solid gray cinderblock, steady as the rock it was made of, but they all had vanished in the dark. I found one by slipping in the mud and blindly catching myself on it, barely balancing on the uneven ground.
My heart rate and hair rose as I tried to pull my hand away. The ooze around the pillar held me firmly, and my eyes widened in the lightless cellar as I felt my hand sink further into the ooze around it, exuding a familiar sweet smell. I yanked my arm, trying to free myself, but the dark held me fast. I lifted one foot, then the other, trying to wriggle loose, but I couldn’t move.
It didn’t move like a bull, though. It rolled like mudslide, a wave of sediment, a lightless composition of rot. I felt the call for help forming in my throat turn into a scream as it got closer. I saw its surface wriggle with tiny black stalks, ants’ black bodies. But there were other things as well.
There were bits of fur and a raccoon skull, skin like a toad, a pair of antlers, all of them tumbling over each other as the dark suspension rolled forward. My panicked arm struggled to get free even as the necrotic melange swept across my feet. I dropped the light to use both hands to pull against the pillar. It hit the ground with a wet pop, releasing more of that sweet smell, its light shining onto an unblinking, inhuman eye before sinking into darkness. Behind me, something shut the cellar door.
I’m not sure who’s writing this now. But I can hear my Penny in her bath, and she isn’t complaining anymore.
To hear an audio reading of this story, you may go here.
submitted by McSix to horrorstories [link] [comments]
The days started to get shorter, but still the ants came, the once tiny bands of scouts turning into small riots of black wriggling that surrounded any food dropped on the floor. It wasn’t long before there were trains of ants marching their way up the counters to rob the kitchen of whatever they might find there.
I admired their industriousness, but them getting onto the counters was the last straw for me. Penny just said to wait until the weather got colder, so I did, but that only made things worse. The colder it got, and that autumn it got cold fast, the more ants we found. Soon it wasn’t just in the kitchen, but any place that they might forage.
So I bought the poison, something not dangerous to humans, but a spreading toxin to ants and insects, something new called Terra Meta Borax. You put a few drops of the liquid somewhere you knew the ants would be and its sweet scent would lure them to it. It wouldn’t kill them straight away, but rather let them lift little toxic globules back to the colony so it would kill the nest instead of a single ant. I wasn’t exactly sure how it worked, but it somehow involved a molecularly enhanced boric acid, so I can’t imagine it was a pleasant way to go.
It worked, though. The ants stopped. We’d still see a few in the bathroom, which didn’t make sense to me – I don’t think ants eat waste. It was the warmest room in the house, though, sitting above the water-heater and HVAC units in the crawlspace.
Eventually, the ones in the bathroom really started to bug (ha ha) Penny. The rare long bath she took was one of the few luxuries in a busy life, and the ants were upsetting that small comfort. So I cleared some space and put down poison, spattering more droplets than I had ever used before. Finished, I backed up quick, startled at the number of ants that came streaming out, tiny black bodies, antenna wiggling, searching and fevered for the toxic archipelago I had created.
Their excitement unsettled me, seeing so many swarming to embrace a slow, chemical death. I put that aside as childish, though, telling myself that the poison was designed to attract them, and that’s what it was doing.
Their numbers in the bathroom dwindled until one day Penny finished filling the tub and moments later I heard her scream. I rushed in, an unexpected level of adrenaline quickening my feet, but it was only Penny having quickly retracted a toe from the ice cold water of the bath she had just drawn.
I told her I’d check the water-heater in the morning. She wasn’t happy about it, but she was a kind enough that she didn’t press it that night. The crawlspace might be big enough that you didn’t have to go hand and knee into it, but it was a low, earthen cellar. We’d put in a sump pump and gutters to route the waters that came down in the torrential winter rains, but it was still wet and muddy.
There was only a single light down there, and it wasn’t reliable, and the water-heater was far beyond the reach of whatever shard of light might sneak in past the entrance. So in the morning I took a light when I stepped outside and circled the house, coming to the cellar entrance, a half-door set into the house’s brick foundation. I had to lean hard into it, pushing the wooden boards through a shelf of mud that had built up on the inside, black muck seeping from underneath it.
Inside was as dark as the soil. I shined the light around, but it only lit a few yards. Our house wasn’t a big one, but under it, the cellar was like its own cavern system.
I stepped in, my feet sinking into the sludge, causing me to curse the handyman who had installed the gutters, certain they and the sump pump must have failed. Grateful I had rubber boots on, I moved forward, pointing my light in the direction I knew the water-heater should be, but not seeing anything. There was nothing but an inky darkness, with occasional ripples, like fragments of light reflecting from the bottom of a deep well.
I struggled to find my way to the nearest structural pillar, hoping to use it as a guidepost. Each was solid gray cinderblock, steady as the rock it was made of, but they all had vanished in the dark. I found one by slipping in the mud and blindly catching myself on it, barely balancing on the uneven ground.
My heart rate and hair rose as I tried to pull my hand away. The ooze around the pillar held me firmly, and my eyes widened in the lightless cellar as I felt my hand sink further into the ooze around it, exuding a familiar sweet smell. I yanked my arm, trying to free myself, but the dark held me fast. I lifted one foot, then the other, trying to wriggle loose, but I couldn’t move.
I breathed through my rising panic, cutting through the growing pressure of my own pulse to raise the flashlight to get a better look at my trapped hand. As I did, though, the beam swept over something deeper in the cellar.I was far enough in that I should have been able to see the brick that marked the other end of the foundation. Instead, what I had taken for darkness rippled and moved, giving a sense of immense size, like a bull from one of the local rodeos.
It didn’t move like a bull, though. It rolled like mudslide, a wave of sediment, a lightless composition of rot. I felt the call for help forming in my throat turn into a scream as it got closer. I saw its surface wriggle with tiny black stalks, ants’ black bodies. But there were other things as well.
There were bits of fur and a raccoon skull, skin like a toad, a pair of antlers, all of them tumbling over each other as the dark suspension rolled forward. My panicked arm struggled to get free even as the necrotic melange swept across my feet. I dropped the light to use both hands to pull against the pillar. It hit the ground with a wet pop, releasing more of that sweet smell, its light shining onto an unblinking, inhuman eye before sinking into darkness. Behind me, something shut the cellar door.
I’m not sure who’s writing this now. But I can hear my Penny in her bath, and she isn’t complaining anymore.
To hear an audio reading of this story, you may go here.
2023.03.24 14:30 SevzOguzhan My best skull cavern run!
 | submitted by SevzOguzhan to StardewValley [link] [comments] |
2023.03.24 07:46 Any-Research9679 armor besides boots?
This has probably been asked a lot but I can't find anything.my first time playing and I made it to skull caverns. I have a level 10 sword 4speed but I'm still getting murked pretty fast. Any tips if no armor?
submitted by Any-Research9679 to StardewValley [link] [comments]
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anonymous readerReport<\/a> <\/span><\/h4>\n2013-10-29 12:40:07<\/div>\nHmm slapping, that's not girldom, dickhead, it's nasty little boy.<\/div>\n
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anonymous readerReport<\/a> <\/span><\/h4>\n2012-08-08 23:17:40<\/div>\nI don't get what people are saying this is a great follow up I can't really find that many errors and they definitely don't interfere that much with the story I saw that you haven't updated this story it's good real good hope to see an update good. Chow b001 out.<\/div>\n
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anonymous readerReport<\/a> <\/span><\/h4>\n2012-07-04 07:49:08<\/div>\nnot bad but a little confusing-DaAntiChrist<\/div>\n
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anonymous readerReport<\/a> <\/span><\/h4>\n2012-05-24 19:04:35<\/div>\nThis is a VERY confusing
\r\npiece to try and read, it's difficulty is the need to try and work out who's who.<\/div>\n
\n","
anonymous readerReport<\/a> <\/span><\/h4>\n2011-10-08 08:46:34<\/div>\nI agree with the other comments but there's potential here. Slow down, think about what you're writing and reread it before posting. If you can find someone else to read it also. Correct the errors and then post. Now how about a threesome with him the bitch and the daughter?<\/div>\n
\n
anonymous readerReport<\/a> <\/span><\/h4>\n2011-09-14 02:02:35<\/div>\nYeah, the grammar sucks, but the storyline and the sex is amazing. Slow down and think about each sentence as it forms. If your mind shoots ahead, just write at the speed you can until you catch up and let your mind form the next thought completely.<\/div>\n
\n
anonymous readerReport<\/a> <\/span><\/h4>\n2011-09-09 10:59:49<\/div>\n"'Could' meaning you can no longer?" What the hell does that mean??? It made no sense. Good story but not great, too many mistakes and words left out. Try better next time as I want to read this series, but its a little hard on my brain trying to fill in all the gaps you left<\/div>\n
submitted by lbhnhxkvjm to xzht13j4ai [link] [comments]
\n"],"current":0,"nb_page":2};«12»anonymouslytightnwetReport
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