Dear Redditors,
I am writing to you today in complete dispare (I'm literally balling while typing this) about my orange boy Minion (9yo Cat) who has fallen ill. It is terrifying to see my baby boy sick, and I am desperate to find a way to help him. Minion symptoms are lethargy, loss of appetite for his usual biscuits and water, but will lick a treat of salmon cat paste, but alas vomits a bit up after. He also excitedly ate some grass which I bring from outside as he's an indoor cat, he is also peeing ok and pooped this morning. He has vometed twice today and won't drink water or have food, but will eat grass. His little nose is also dry, I am deeply concerned for his health and well-being, but I am at a loss for what to do as unfortunately, my financial situation is such that I am unable to afford a vet, and it's currently 8:04pm Sunday night in Australia. I know that seeking help from strangers on the internet may seem like a last resort, but I have exhausted all other options, as my wife and I only have each other, and he's our boy. I feel so helpless.
I humbly request that if anyone has any advice, recommendations, or resources that may help my beautiful boy, please share them with me. I am willing to try anything to help my baby boy get better. I am in Queensland Australia.
Thank you for taking the time to read this, and I appreciate any help that you can offer.
Sincerely,
inhugzwetrust

I used to be really really effortlessly smart when I was about 10, like the type of smart where I could go into a maths lesson and know how to do everything taught throughout the whole year without ever learning it prior to the lesson. I used to read for fun since my parents limited my screen time heavily, especially heavily compared to other people my age at my school. And when I say I used to read, I mean I used to READ. I would finish a Rick Riordan series in a week and would literally be up past 2am reading just because I enjoyed it (wish I could still do that lmao nowadays I'd wake up looking like a raccoon)
About half a year ago I made a crazy realization, I hadn't finished reading a normal length book in years, I had read plenty of info online about how reading improves your intelligence and yadda yadda. I thought it was all overhyped and a waste of time especially since ppl were putting in 4+ hours a day. I then realized that I used to be that person. I literally used to read 4+ hours a day. Consistently. For fun. I recently started reading just for fun again and replaced my time on youtube with it, my grades have SHOT up, like genuinely just pretty much effortlessly shot up, I literally had a teacher ask me if I was using AI to write my assignments lmao.
My GPA (in my school it's 0-15) went from a 11.43 all the way to 13.57 in half a year, thats a B <-> B+ avg to an A- <-> A average. And I didn't put in any extra effort into my work. I found that listening just became so much clearer, in math I was pretty much able to figure out an equation before I was taught how to do it sometimes, and in just general conversations I feel like I understand people more, I haven't had to say "pardon" or "what" in weeks. (although granted I also stopped listening to such loud music).
I'm not saying this will work for everyone but it worked for me and I hope it works for others too.

I’m very interested in learning to speak, write and read Russian. I have no prior knowledge what so ever about the language however I am very interested in learning.
If anyone had tips or best places to start, I would really appreciate the help.
I don’t have much money so paying for a Russian tutor wouldn’t really work, I would be able to help out with learning English if someone was interested in teaching me Russian. Thanks!

I've never read Jung (except from bits and pieces here and there), but always been interested on him.
I've examined myself deeply, and consider myself a pretty standard neurotic: running away from real life and deeply human connections due to fear of rejection. I feel disconnected and can't seem to manage it on my own. I tend to self-doubt a lot, and when faced upon great challenges either find a really elegant way to avoid them, or face them with a great suffering. I've got batter at this and facing challenges in a better way, but I still wonder if the choices I take are still influenced by this "evasion" mindset...
I've read "The problem of puer aeternus" and "The denial of death" and found a lot of insight, and was wondering if there was any writing by Jung that would talk about the neurotic's life and condition.
Thanks for the help!

Below you will find a weekly reminder of our Rules and partial FAQ. It's definitely a long read, but it's worth your time, especially if you are new to the community, or dropping by as a result of a link you found elsewhere. We periodically revise our rules, this weekly notice will help keep you informed of any changes made.
NOTE: These rules are guidelines. Some moderation discretion is to be expected.

Community Rules

1. Kindness Matters

Advise, don't criticize.

• Post with empathy, thoughtfulness, and constructive commentary rather than judgment. Don't be an asshole.
• Name-calling, slurs (including gender or race based slurs), and insults towards other community members will not be tolerated. Do not attack others for their personally held values, custody situation, marital status, physical distance from stepkids, or economic status; or on the basis of race, sex, sexual orientation, age, religion, or ethnicity.
• No name-calling toward children, including the above-mentioned insults or the term "skids", or terms such as "mini-wife" or "mini-husband."
• Comments advocating spanking or any mention of wanting to harm children are not allowed.
• This is a support sub, not a judgement sub, assholes are not tolerated. Comments with terms used in other subs to pass judgement on assholes will be removed.

2. No Drama

This is a support sub.

• Bickering, nitpicking, and thread derailment will not be tolerated and will be subject to removal at moderator discretion.
• Do not repeatedly badger a poster demanding answers, or refuse to acknowledge an answer that's already been given.
• Do not use sensitive issues from past posts (either from this sub or other subs) to attack another user, as we are all discussing vulnerable topics.
• Crossposting anything from /stepparents to any other subreddit might result in a ban and may result in the original thread being locked. Brigading our sub will result in an immediate ban.

3. Report, Don’t Rant

No backseat modding.

• If you see someone breaking the rules, report the post or comment to the mods rather than engaging them in an argument. Failure to do so may be subject to comment removal at moderator discretion.
• No meta posts complaining about rude comments, DMs, or general sub issues.
• If you think someone is a troll or previously banned user, either use the report function or message the mods to direct their attention to the issue.

4. No Naming & Shaming

No userpings or links.

• Tagging/pinging users or other subreddits in an attempt to bully, harass, or complain will not be tolerated. Do not tag other subs, ever.
• If you want to complain about another subreddit being hostile to stepparents, do not name the subreddit. "Other parenting/advice/judgement subs" will suffice.

5. No Platitudes

Nobody knew what they were getting into.

• Comments like "You knew what you were getting into", "Love them, love their kids!", "They're a package deal!" and "You have to love them like your own!" will be removed.
• Comments suggesting that OP is not cut out for stepparenting will be removed at moderator discretion.
• Comments like "This is just a part of parenting, deal with it!" will be removed at moderator discretion.

6. No Trolling

We have zero tolerance for trolls.

• This is a support sub. Our subscribers do not have the time, nor inclination, to provide support to internet trolls. Posts that are suspected to be trolling attempts will be immediately removed, and the poster banned.
• Concern trolling, devil's advocating, gish-galloping, sealioning, and general asshattery are subject to immediate removal and banning without warning or notice.
• Any attempt to circumvent the ban by creating a new username will be reported to reddit admins and possibly result in account suspension.

7. No Personally Identifiable Information

Use discretion when posting.

• We highly recommend using a separate account for support subs to help prevent being doxxed. Do not post any information that may allow others to figure out your identity.
• Do not post photos of children, or any other photo that could be used to identify you or another user on the sub.
• Any image that contains a name or other identifying information should have the name or identifying information blurred out. This includes drawings, notes, and screenshots.
• Do not link to social media or any articles/blogs where you or another user on the sub is mentioned by name.

8. No More than 2 Posts per 24 hours

Use the daily threads.

• We are not a huge sub, but we are no longer a small sub. If you have multiple grievances to air, use the daily discussion threads instead of multiple posts.

9. Follow Reddiquette

Remember the human.

• Adhere to the same standards of behavior online that you follow in real life.
• Read it in full here.
• Downvoting is reserved for comments that don’t contribute, and shouldn't be used to indicate disagreement.
• If you believe someone is in violation of the subreddit rules, please either use the report function or message the mods to direct their attention to the issue.
• Suspected brigading will be reported to reddit admins.

10. No Porn, Spam, Blogs, or Research Studies/Surveys Without Mod Approval

Just don't.

• This is a SFW subreddit. Posting pornography will result in immediate post removal and permanent ban.
• Advertising on the subreddit (outside of Reddit's own advertising) is not allowed.
• No personal blog posts are allowed without express moderator permission.
• No advertising without prior mod approval.
• No asking for money/posting fundraisers/etc.
• For links to parenting research studies or surveys, please message the mods for permission before posting.

11. Disputes in Modmail Only

Don't argue with the mods on the sub.

• Any issues specifically related to how a mod is moderating should be addressed to the full moderating team via mod mail. This ensures that all mods are aware of any concerns and prevents disintegration of the topic thread at hand.
• This means to do not message or send chat requests to individual mods. All discussion and complaints about mod actions need to be done in mod mail ONLY. Failure to follow this rule can result in an immediate permanent ban.
• Comments in threads asking about mod decisions are subject to removal without notice.

12. Moderator Actions

We aren't kidding.

• Users are expected to know the rules before posting. If you are warned or banned for violating the rules, ignorance is not an excuse.
• Moderators will remove posts and comments and/or lock threads in accordance with the rules above. Typically this happens when threads have gone off-topic in a way that is not productive for the OP, or comments overall have become contentious or disrespectful.
• If a poster continues to argue or to willfully violate these rules, temporary and permanent ban procedures will be followed. Any attempts to avoid or bypass temporary bans will result in a permanent ban. User bans will not be discussed in the sub. Questions posted about user bans are subject to removal and the poster subject to warning/ban procedures. The mod team will not discuss a specific user ban with anyone other than the user involved.
• New accounts are subject to manual approval until they are no longer deemed "new" by the mod team. This helps to weed out trolls and ban evaders.
• We rely on Automoderator to scan for specific words and phrases that are not welcome here and notify the mod team to review the comment or post. This includes slurs of any type and platitudes such as "Love them as your own!"
• The mod team uses a combination of blacklisting and banning when dealing with trolls.
• We employ the use of a bot that automatically bans anyone who comments in subs that have historically harassed our users. If you are picked up by the bot for telling trolls to get fucked, reach out via mod mail and we'll get you sorted out.
• The rules above as well as ban procedures are considered guidelines only; some deviation may be necessary on a case by case basis and/or at the mod team's discretion.

13. Ban Procedure

These actions are at moderator discretion.

• Pornography will result in an automatic permanent ban.
• Extremely egregious content will result in an immediate permanent ban.
• You may receive a 7 or 30 day temporary ban for first and second rule violations, depending upon severity.
• Continued rule violations will result in a permanent ban.
• Willful attempts to avoid or bypass temporary bans will result in a permanent ban.
• We recognize the reddit site-wide rules of using alt names to get around bans and will ban those as well as report them to reddit admins.

​
​

FAQ - About the Rules

What does Kindness Matters mean?

• Shortest version? Don't be an asshole. People come here for support and advice, they do not come here to be yelled at or told they are the reason everything is going sideways. There are ways to point out that someone may want to do some reflection on their own actions and reactions without being an asshole about it.
• The purpose of this subreddit is to provide support and a sense of belonging for struggling stepparents. We aren't here to pass judgement, but rather to offer support, empathy, and constructive commentary. That does not include "hard truths" or "tough love." Stepparents get enough of that in every other subreddit, we're not passing it out here. Be respectful.
• Remember, most people aren't going to come to a sub like this when everything is going great and everyone is getting along. People are coming here when they are down, when they are feeling defeated and stretched to the limit. Kicking someone when they are down is shitty behavior and we don't tolerate it.

What about being kind to the kids?

• "Won't somebody think of the children?" Pearl clutching isn't needed here. If you read the Kindness Matters rule closely, you will see that there is a clause in there about name calling children. We don't allow it. We also don't allow people rolling in telling OP that they feel sorry for their stepkids because OP is feeling overwhelmed and overloaded.
• If anyone is advocating slapping, spanking, or any other form of violence, report the comment immediately. We do not advocate violence towards children of any sort. The mod team does not advocate any sort of physical punishment at any time.
• Venting about behaviors is not the same as insulting the kids. However, if you see a post or comment where kids are being name called or dragged to the point of no return, use the report button. We try to catch the posts and remove them before they hit the sub, but we cannot see every comment without your help. Use the report button to bring problematic comments to our attention. Don't engage in a war of words on our subreddit.

Why is this sub such an echo chamber?

• Not allowing contributors to pile on and tell OP that they are a terrible human being who should never be around children does not equate to being an echo chamber. Many contributors here will offer OP suggestions to help them work through their resentments and frustrations, and the most egregious situations are called out. We simply ask that it be called out with respect.
• If you feel that a post is simply too much for you to handle without following the rules, move on to another post.
• If you believe that a post itself is crossing the rules report it. If the mod team has approved the post, it is because the mod team believes that the OP needs help from the community or needs a moment to vent and move on from their vent. That does not give you license to pile on disrespectfully. Unless it is proven that OP is a bot, assume that OP is a human being with real thoughts and feelings and has posted from a place of vulnerability.

Why can't I tell OP that they are an asshole?

• Because this isn't a judgement sub. We aren't AITA, we don't want to be AITA.
• Comments with terms like YTA, NTA, ESH, NAH will be removed.
• Don't start your posts with INFO either. We generally recognize that as a fishing attempt for more information to pass judgement on OP, and again, we are not a judgment sub.

But OP asked if they were an asshole?!

• Their post somehow got past our automoderator. Just use the report button. We will address it with OP.
• If you've asked if you are an asshole, a-hole, a*hole, a**hole, whatever, don't be surprised if your post is removed without warning. This isn't a judgment sub. If you want judgment, you know where to go.

What is a gendered slur?

• While it seems that everyone understands what racist slurs are, people struggle understanding the concept of gendered slurs. Generally speaking, we are talking about derogatory nouns or verbs that are used to negatively describe people or situations based on gendered terms.
• We've gone back and forth on this a few times, and the truth is, we get it, it's your safe space and you want to be able to vent about BM/BD how you want to vent about them, without us telling you how to vent about them. Fair enough. Vent away. What we are going to stick to here how people are referring to other users and to stepchildren.
• Examples that are not allowed:
  • "My SD is such a little bitch."
  • "She dresses/acts like a slut."
  • "My SS acts like a pussy."
  • "My SS is such a beta male."
  • "You are all fucking whores."
  • "Any dude who is raising some sluts kids is a cuck!"
  • "Little Lord Fauntleroy over here thinking he runs the house!"
  • "You're just the bangnanny, get used to it."
• Don't call users here names, don't call stepchildren names.
• Masking the term with asterisks or other neat little tricks might get you around the bot, but if we see it, we're removing it and quite possibly giving you a time out. The intended word is still there and you deliberately tried to skate the rule.
• As there is not enough space to list every term that is offensive and does not belong, nor every situation in which term or phrase may be allowable in context, this rule is enforced based on moderator discretion.

Seriously? You are the language police now?

• We're here to talk about stepparenting. And we would like for that to happen in a respectful way. Attacking each other doesn't help. Belittling stepchildren draws in trolls who don't understand your frustration, all they see is an evil stepmonster talking shit on the internet about a poor, innocent baby. Yes, even if that "poor, innocent baby" just robbed you blind and set fire to the house on their way out the door. That's just how it goes.
• We are aware that this is a relatively new rule and a lot of older posts and comments contain a lot of problematic language, including some from mods themselves. We are growing and evolving, and rules change as the sub grows and evolves.

What does No Drama really mean?

• Pretty much what it says, do not bring drama from other subs into this sub. Do not engage in vote brigades. Do not try to incite other subscribers to riot in a different sub. Don't follow posters into this sub from other subs to continue to harass them. Do not badger someone or derail threads. Do not harass community members because you don't agree with them. There's enough drama in the daily lives of subscribers, more isn't needed.

What is thread derailment?

• When a comment chain has devolved to the point where all you are doing is arguing back and forth with someone about the same thing over and over again, you have derailed the thread. Also known as bickering. It's what children do. We assume if people are in a stepparent role they are adults. We expect you to act like it.
• If you aren't a stepparent, or in a stepparenting role, consider that perhaps this subreddit isn't for you. If you want to participate, do so with respect. Thread derailment, arguing, bickering, and nitpicking are not allowed.

But what if they didn't answer my question?

• No one has to answer your questions. This is a support sub, not an inquisition. Jumping on a bandwagon with "OP is evading the question" in a 20 comment long chain is the epitome of thread derailment. You'll find more information about trolling below and how this might be considered such.

Why am I being silenced? I'm just asking for a back and forth!

• Thread derailment, badgering, and nitpicking are considered harassment. Continued harassment of either community members or mods will get you banned.

Why can't I look at someone's post history and comment about it?

• No mod in the history of this sub has ever once said post histories are forbidden. What we do frown upon is using someone's post history to attack, belittle, or otherwise harass someone.
• Example Post: "My stepkid's mom really hates me. How can I make this better?"
  • Okay: "Based on the timeline and your post history, it looks like this may have started as an affair. Unfortunately there's going to be outstanding issues for a long time due to that. Try focusing on yourself and how you can move forward without worrying about how someone else feels about you."
  • Not Okay: "Holy shit! You were the OW! What the hell do you expect, homewrecker?!"
• Example Post: "I am completely overloaded and feeling very down about myself."
  • Okay: "In your post history you mentioned that your spouse wasn't really helping around the house. Has that changed at all?"
  • Not Okay: "LOL, you already got the answers you need in your post on relationships. You are stupid for sticking with your lazy spouse."

Why can't we crosspost stuff to other subs?

• We can't stop you from doing so. The problem isn't that something has been crossposted, it's when the community that it's been crossposted to feels the need to come over here and harass OP. When we see that happening, we lock the post and start passing out bans. If you did the crossposting, you'll be banned. If you participated in the brigading, you'll be banned.

What if it's my own post?

• Again, we can't stop you from doing so. We prefer that you don't technically crosspost, but rather just copy and paste your post. Why? Because inevitably the above will happen. Redditors from other subs will follow you back to /stepparents and start attacking users here. It just happens.

What is "brigading"?

• Reddit defines vote manipulation and brigading as follows:
• Using multiple accounts, voting services, or any other software to increase or decrease vote scores.
• Asking people to vote up or down certain posts, either on Reddit itself or through social networks, messaging, etc. for personal gain.
• Forming or joining a group that votes together, either on a specific post, a user's posts, posts from a domain, etc.
• We, along with pretty much every other subreddit that has ever had to deal with this nonsense, further define brigading as this: You saw a post on another sub that linked to our sub either via a link in a comment or a crosspost. It was basically saying something along the lines of "OMG, check out these assholes over on /stepparents! They literally hate all their stepkids!" And then you and your friends come over and start hammering on OP and telling OP how much they suck. Congrats, you have just participated in a brigade.

What is this whole Report, Don't Rant thing about?

• If you see a post or comment that breaks the rules, instead of engaging, report it. When you report it, it sends notification to the mod team. We will act on it where appropriate. Engaging with bad faith users may result in your comments being removed. If you repeatedly do so, you may end up being banned.

What if I see an obvious troll?

• Report it.

What if they are being really mean in comments?

• Report it.

What if they are harassing me in private messages?

• Step 1: Report them to admins. You can report harassment to reddit by using this link or send a DM to reddit admins. Include the link to the DM, admins can see your inbox and providing a direct link is helpful for them to weed out bad actors.
• Step 2: Block the person so they cannot directly contact you again.
• Step 3: Send us a mod mail and let the mod team know. Tell us who they are and what they said, send us a screenshot if you can - admins can see your DMs, mods can't. We'll take action where necessary by banning from the sub if they aren't already banned.

What do you mean by No Naming & Shaming?

• Just as we prefer to not be linked to or crossposted from, we do not allow linking to or calling out other subs by name. If you see something you want to share, say it's a hot post that has hit the front page and a stepparent is being absolutely flayed, just refer to it as "that hot post that hit the front page." If you want to complain about other places in general, "other parenting/advice/judgement subs" will suffice. Absolutely under no circumstances should you link to anywhere else.

I can't link to other subs?

• Do not directly link to another sub. (e.g.: "/insertsubnamehere is ridiculously hostile to stepparents!")
• Do not name other subs. (e.g.: "I won't link to it directly, but insertsubnamehere is ridiculously hostile to stepparents!")
• Do not abbreviate other subs. (e.g.: "I know that ISNH is ridiculously hostile to stepparents!")

I can't ping other users?

• Do not summon another user with a username ping/tag. (e.g.: "insertusernamehere was being an asshole.")
• If you are agreeing with someone, it is okay to link to them. (e.g.: "I agree with insertusernamehere, you need to take a couple of steps back and reflect on this.")

What does No Platitudes mean?

• Sanctimonious, overused clichés that grossly oversimplify the stepparenting experience are neither wanted nor allowed here. We have all heard it a thousand times before, we don't need to hear it again. It's not nearly as insightful and wise as some would like to think.

Why don't you people understand it's a package deal?

• Any comment that suggests that OP should have known what they were getting involved with, or that they needed to understand that the kids were part of some package they needed to accept before signing up for marriage is subject to immediate removal.
• This is one of the most insensitive things you can say to a stepparent. Most stepparents were aware of the children, but they were probably not aware of all of the family dynamics.

Why can't you just love them like they are your own?

• Demanding that a stranger you do not know love children that are not biologically theirs as if they were theirs can be incredibly damaging to someone who is already in a vulnerable situation. Any comment that falls along these lines will be removed.

What do you mean by No Trolling? I was just...

• No means no. No trolling. No pretending to be a stepparent and then whipping out the Greatest Hits Bingo Card of The Worst Stepparent in the History of Stepparents. We see you. We've seen you a thousand times.

What does "concern trolling", "gish-galloping", and "sealioning" have to do with stepparenting? This isn't a debate sub, why are you using debate terms?

• That's absolutely right, this isn't a debate sub. And yet, here we are, day after day, having to defend ourselves against this sort of thing. So, enough. No more. Usage of any of these things will get you banned.

What is "Concern Trolling?"

• A concern troll is someone who disingenuously visits sites of an opposing ideology to disrupt conversation by offering unwanted advice on how to solve problems which do not really exist.
  • Example Post: OP expresses concern that she will feel, and possibly act, differently towards her stepchildren after her husband decides that no, he doesn't want anymore children after all.
  • Example Concern Troll pulled from actual mod mail after their comment was removed: "Possible child abuse claims need to be sorted out well before whatever empathy you believe the OP was looking for."

What is a "Devil's Advocate"?

• "I'm just playing devil's advocate here, but have you considered that maybe BM is just really tired and needs a break, too?" BM has dozens of different mom based subs alone on reddit she can complain on, this sub is for stepparents. The stepparent doesn't need to consider that maybe BM is just really tired and needs a break.

"Gish-galloping?" What does that even mean?

• The Gish Gallop is the fallacious debate tactic of drowning your opponent in a flood of individually-weak arguments in order to prevent rebuttal of the whole argument collection without great effort. The Gish Gallop is a conveyor belt-fed version of the on the spot fallacy, as it's unreasonable for anyone to have a well-composed answer immediately available to every argument present in the Gallop.

And "sealioning?" What's that?

• Sealioning involves jumping into a conversation with endless polite, reasonable questions and demands for answers, usually of entry-level topics far below the actual conversation (e.g. "please prove sexism exists"). This tactic differs little from harassment; instead of discussion, the point is to derail discussion, receive criticism (for their ignorance) so as to look like a victim, or to make someone feel overwhelmed and quit talking.

Who gets to define what is considered asshattery?

• The mod team, of course! If we feel that comments are out of line, are trolling, are leading up to a fight or "just asking questions", we are going to remove them and most likely ban the offender.

​
​

FAQ - Sub Questions

Posting Guidelines for Stepparents

• Body text is required, we suggest you use line breaks between paragraphs as a wall of text is difficult to read. Posts that have only a title are likely to be removed. Instead of using names (even fictitious ones), try to use the sub acronyms. It helps our users to follow along if you use the acronyms and not names.
• Assign a post flair that accurately describes what your post is about and what you are seeking. If you are posting an update from a previous post, include a link to that post.
• Flairs are applied to posts to determine what a person is looking for. When submitting a new post, you should choose a flair that specifies if you are looking for advice, support, etc. The following link flair is available and is color coded with side bar links so that you can search by flair:
  • Advice - For when you are specifically asking for advice or help.
  • Announcement - Mod Use Only, for subreddit announcements.
  • Daily (Formerly TTP) - Mod Use Only, for our daily discussion threads.
  • Discussion - A little advice, a little "How does your family handle this?"
  • JustBMThings - Pretty sure this is self explanatory!
  • Legal - Asking for legal advice? Tag it with this!
  • Miscellany - Just a sort of off topic thing? Use this tag.
  • Resource - Sharing a good resource or asking for one? This is the tag you need!
  • Support - For those days when you want nothing but a good old fashioned cry and some community love.
  • Update - Updating us on something that you posted about previously? Use this one!
  • Vent - We all need to vent sometimes. Respect the tag as a vent. This isn't how OP talks all day every day.
  • Win! - Celebrate those wins with us with this tag!
  • Megathread - Mod Use Only, for large mega threads (typically around major calendar events.)

Posting Guidelines for Bioparents

• Stepparents is a support community for stepparents, by stepparents. As bioparents, you may want to have more insight into how the stepparent in your life feels or thinks. You may have questions on how to ease the transition for your partner. However, please keep in mind that this community was not created for you. It was created for your partner or your ex's partner. If you are seeking support on how to deal with a stepparent, there are other subs more suited for your situation and your post is subject to removal.
• There are some posts from bioparents we will accept:
  • Seeking advice on how to support your partner as they navigate stepparenting
  • Seeking resources to help you better support your partner
  • Seeking resources for your partner
• There are some posts from bioparents we will not accept:
  • Complaints about how the stepparent is too involved in your kids lives
  • Vents about how the stepparent is not involved enough in your kids lives
  • "Cautionary tales" advising stepparents to back off
  • Seeking advice on how to tell the stepparent to back off
  • The Do's and Dont's of Stepparenting
  • How your kid's stepmom is literally The Worst
• Comments from bioparents that are helpful and supportive are welcome and appreciated. Comments from bioparents that are not helpful or supportive are not welcome and subject to removal. There are several other subs that may meet the needs of bioparents better than we can. We recommend /coparenting, /parenting, /parents, /blendedfamilies, and /singleparents as starting points.

Guidelines for Stepkids

• At this time, we do not generally accept posts from stepkids. Comments from stepkids that are helpful and supportive are welcome and appreciated. Comments from stepkids that are not helpful or supportive are not welcome and subject to removal. If you are a stepkid seeking support, we highly recommend /stepkids. It is a very supportive community specifically for stepkids. We also recommend /blendedfamilies as another potential group for support.

What the heck are all these acronyms? I'm confused!

• Check out the Common Acronyms wiki page. We try to keep this updated as new terms are introduced to the sub.

Why aren't my posts or comments showing up?

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Currently i'm just start shido arc even though i never read any spoiler but i do know this is the "final" palace and this is why it hurt because it near the end and i have to say goodbye i try so hard to prolong the inevitable i avoid playing Persona 5 and do other thing like study play other game or just run around in thieves den playing Tycoon with our team but some day i have to finish this game and eventully say goodbye
First i'm playing this on PC gamepass because my friend told me that i shold really try it hhe say "It's the best game i ever play " and then i look it up it a anime style JRPG and my mind just went "Bro that BS it just a weeb game" So i decide to try it at first i still think "it just a anime game how is this the BEST game huh ?" but after Kaneshiro's arc and i got to spend the Summer festival with my team and this is the moment i know this game is the BEST
I went into this game blind no knowledge about Persona is all about what i should do who is the best confidant hell i don't even heard the game name persona before i start playing this,And i'm really glad i do because it mold me into blank slate ready to absorb everything this game had to offer
May be this post might come as Cringe inducing topic and i'm really sorry for making you guy read a long ass essay about being depress with fictional event/character, I know that i'm having parasocial relationships with this game i'm study in psychology major and i seen this youtube Video long time ago so i really do know what i'm dealing with and even if i know all the inner woring but i'm not ready so this is why i write this into this Sub i'm try to remedy this pain share my experience with someone who maybe experienced this feeling before
i'm sorry for writhing adnThank you for readind
PS.i know that Royal has a 3rd sem but i also heard that i need to meet certain criteria to trigger it which im sure i'm not so 2nd playthrough ?? LETS GOOOO
PS.2 Sorry for my english it not my native language

I have dyslexia, dyscalculia and dyspraxia. Due, to having all three, they are exacerbated. Also, I can't go for a day without embarrassing myself. I couldn't read or write until the age of 18. I got my love for novels from audiobooks and my mother reading to me. Now at 36, I have written and am soon to be getting my first book published.
Any tips on promoting the book, and would you personally be okay with buying a novel from an author with a low IQ?

Hello!! im really shit at introducing myself but ill try lol,
(please do not message me if youre married or looking for a trad wife)
I spend most of my time asleep tbh, but when im not I really like to read and watch trashy reality tv lol. I also draw a bit. I want to study psychology as well. I dont have any experience with guys so I might be a bit awkward lol and I have bit of a mean sense of humour.
Im not looking for anything sexual to begin with, id rather develop romantic feelings first tbh.
Take care.

Some background, My ancestry is Polish/Eastern European, I‘m a 2nd generation immigrant, born in Poland but moved to the US when I was 6, I‘ve felt the influences of my Polish family, but also the influences of being born in Poland, growing up in American school, culture, language, etc. I only know very little Polish, but my accent is neither Polish nor American, it’s “ambiguous“, its similar to Levy from GothamChess, I could immediately tell he was Eastern European from him speaking English within the first 10 seconds.
I hear someone talking, Polish or English/American. It’s like a pane of metaphorical linguistic glass separates me from fully “understanding” them, in real time, I understand them, and process what they’re saying, but the feeling of being in the moment culturally and socially is gone.
I don’t feel like an American, or Polish, it’s like a mix (maybe slightly more American). My speaking feels repressed because I feel like It’s hindered by Polish/American cultural things. I’m always in a ‘transition zone’.
I can only find “otherness.” I’m too foreign’ for my generation (American), but “Westernized,” enough. A boundary between ‘here’ and ‘there,” “self’ and “other,” is constantly shifting.
And when I’m writing English and some Polish, there’s always a “conflict”. The English language, in general, is more succinct and direct. European languages and cultures tend to prefer longer and more complex phrases.
if you ever translate Slavic text to English, they always come off weirdly literary and philosophical in a way. I feel the same when writing English sometimes, I sometimes catch myself writing in such a convoluted way, that it goes in more than it should, the hidden nuances, etc.
And every single time, when I’m reading English text, it’s always in an accent in my mind, my inner voice is like the voice within me that can’t find a cultural place. I’m only human, and that’s it. I feel like an alien sometimes to be honest.

Some background, My ancestry is Polish/Eastern European, I‘m a 2nd generation immigrant, born in Poland but moved to the US when I was 6, I‘ve felt the influences of my Polish family, but also the influences of being born in Poland, growing up in American school, culture, language, etc. I only know very little Polish, but my accent is neither Polish nor American, it’s “ambiguous“, its similar to Levy from GothamChess, I could immediately tell he was Eastern European from him speaking English within the first 10 seconds.
I hear someone talking, Polish or English/American. It’s like a pane of metaphorical linguistic glass separates me from fully “understanding” them, in real time, I understand them, and process what they’re saying, but the feeling of being in the moment culturally and socially is gone.
I don’t feel like an American, or Polish, it’s like a mix (maybe slightly more American). My speaking feels repressed because I feel like It’s hindered by Polish/American cultural things. I’m always in a ‘transition zone’.
I can only find “otherness.” I’m too foreign’ for my generation (American), but “Westernized,” enough. A boundary between ‘here’ and ‘there,” “self’ and “other,” is constantly shifting.
And when I’m writing English and some Polish, there’s always a “conflict”. The English language, in general, is more succinct and direct. European languages and cultures tend to prefer longer and more complex phrases.
if you ever translate Slavic text to English, they always come off weirdly literary and philosophical in a way. I feel the same when writing English sometimes, I sometimes catch myself writing in such a convoluted way, that it goes in more than it should, the hidden nuances, etc.
And every single time, when I’m reading English text, it’s always in an accent in my mind, my inner voice is like the voice within me that can’t find a cultural place. I’m only human, and that’s it. I feel like an alien sometimes to be honest.

Hello. I'm going to come off totally naïve and ignorant here, but well... I am. I will totally admit that I have no idea what I'm doing. I'm going to graduate college with a bachelor's degree in English here in a couple months and what I've been working toward all this time is to be a writer. I've been looking on Indeed, but most of the remote (I'd need something remote) positions require a ton of experience that I just don't have. I thought it would be a little bit easier since so many different things need writers for them like video games, tv shows, movies, internet shows, etc. My mom says I should get a job to pay the bills and just try to write books on the side. Is that a good idea? I wasn't so sure because not only do I feel like not many people read books anymore, but mine would just be one in a trillion so I'd probably make no money off it. I looked for stuff on Craigslist, but I got so confused and frustrated. I had never been on Craigslist before and one of the only two applications I found via link there was almost 20 questions asking these essay-length questions for me to answer. I just started an Upwork account, but I don't exactly have faith in that panning out. I just don't know what to do. What do other writers out there do for work when you're fresh out of college? Are there other websites I should check out? (I feel like I should throw this in there: I don't want to teach. When I say what my major is, everyone assumes I want to be a teacher. I have nothing against teachers, it's just not what I want to do.) Any help would be appreciated. I'm just at my wit's end.

Hi everyone,
I'm not a med student, but am nevertheless soon to embark on a journey to study general anatomy and neuroanatomy. I realize the learning process can often involve either drawing many figures/diagrams or coloring in an anatomy coloring book such as this one. However, I have neuropathy in my hands, so doing lots of writing, drawing, or typing for that matter can be quite painful for me.
How did those of you with hand pain from EDS, peripheral neuropathy, or any other condition go about studying anatomy and neuroanatomy?
Many thanks for any suggestions!

Find the current Daily Discussion* March Xover Prompt Challenge Review Bingo Trope Bingo

*It seems like this link doesn't work on all platforms. One of the mods will usually come by and add a link to the current DD in the comments.
Welcome to our new Fanfic Focus series.
This series will give us a chance to have a deeper dive into various genres, tropes and AUs (alternative universes). It will be an opportunity for those who already read and write in this area of fanfiction to discuss what they like, aspects that don't work for them, and also for those who are interested to learn a bit more about it. Of course, everyone is encouraged to share their recs for fics that showcase these categories of fics!
Each post will have a new topic to discuss and share, which will be a mix of genres, tropes and AUs. A new topic will be posted on Tuesdays and Sundays.
Please enter this discussion with an open mind. If you do not like the theme, trope or AU that is being discussed, then this post is not for you. You don't need to let us know that the topic isn't for you - please wait for another topic that you're interested in to participate if this is the case. This series is to bring together people who like to read and write this theme, and those who want to discuss it, are interested in learning more about it, or wanting some recs to test out or dive into.
The Discussion:
You are welcome to approach the discussion in any way you see fit, which can include any of the following aspects:

• Discussion of the theme itself:
  • Things you enjoy seeing when looking for fics or writing fics;
  • Fandoms that the theme is commonly adopted in, or certain fandom spins on the theme;
  • Interesting trends you've seen in fics containing that theme;
  • Characters that inspire you with the topic;
  • Coming from the perspective of someone who is already interested or reads/writes for this theme, are there aspects that you aren't as sure about or think could be done better; or
  • Why you gravitate towards fics containing these themes.
• Tips for writing fics with this theme, how you personally approached doing so, and conversely, requests for advice in how to do so;
• Recommendations for fics (or chapters of fics) that fit the theme and why they do;
• Questions about popular takes or writing styles, or anything that you're unsure about.

The Rules:

• For recs, please state the Fandom Rating Any Applicable Content Warnings Link to fic at the top of your comment! Links with no information on Fandom and/or Warnings will be removed. Please see the subreddit rules on content restrictions if you're unsure.
• Self-promotion is allowed if the commenter is also participating in the discussion in a more meta sense and/or sharing recs.
• If the theme is a trope, recs and self-promotion should link to the part of the fic that actually deals with the trope.
• Please note that the bashing rules will still apply.
  • While fics can obviously be shared as recommendations, take care when discussing aspects of these individual fics. Authors can, and do, find where their fics are linked with relative ease, so assume they're going to read what you've written.
  • As discussed above, please refrain from participating if you have no interest, dislike or avoid the theme of the post. There will be plenty of different topics to discuss, so please wait for the next one.

Trial Information:
This series was designed to provide a further avenue for those who like to share recs and discuss tropes in more detail to do so. We're hoping to get a feel for how this will run over the next month or so, and whether we need to tweak the frequency or format of the posts.
Please feel free to message the mod team if you have feedback on the trial, things you'd like to see more of in the discussion, such as prompts or more specific questions being posed by the mods.

Hey, first of all, I want to point out that this post is going to be... Peculiar. I don't usually like to open up to others, but this is going to be very therapeutic. I also want to emphasize that I believe (or at least I try to believe) in hope, which is why, although this post may not be the happiest, it won't necessarily be a depressing one (I try to fight against those negative feelings and for now I'm doing pretty well I think).
Let's start from the beginning. I'm not a special person like those who become famous due to their heroic stories or their lives full of challenges, no, actually I would say I'm quite a privileged person: I've access to a good education, I don't have much of a problem with money and, I might sound egocentric, but I am a person who is already quite successful in an academic sense for his age. (this is when you ask yourself "Wait, how old is this guy??", sorry dude, I'm 16, you're listening to the problems of a teenager, a privileged teenager xD).
So where is the problem?? Well, there really isn't just one problem, as I like to say, if it were that simple, we wouldn't be talking about it. I will try to synthesize my ideas in a way that is easy for the reader, but I don't promise anything.
First of all, anxiety has me on the brink of collapse. I don't have time to be a person, mainly for two reasons: I have a lot of responsibilities (I know many people have more), and I don't allow myself to disconnect. Regarding studies, languages are difficult (中文非常难), double degrees consume all my time, and scholarships are stressful. If we talk about disconnection, well, I get nauseated just thinking about it, even if I want and need to rest, I don't allow it, because it hurts me a lot (I'm a productivity junkie, how funny :D).
If we talk about more specific problems, well, I would point out that my social and love life has been quite "special", and I have had to deal with depression, drugs (I want to emphasize that I don't use drugs, that would be hitting rock bottom, and would make me feel like complete shit) and suicide attempts in my environment... It's no fun having to beg the other person to drop the fucking pills.
I would also point out that I hate being at home (I think that's why I like studying so much, because it allows me to disconnect from my problems). I'm tired of being humiliated almost daily. I don't want to look like a victim, I've never liked that role, even less the martyr, but I don't think I deserve this. Below I will offer a little list of some of the words and other things that I have to deal with on a regular basis:
​

You are stupid, a constant disappointment, a clown (just like your girl), self-centered, a toxic person, the worst thing that has ever happened to me. If you're still in this house it's because I can't kick you out. You have no heart, you're just an insolent bum. You don't do anything right... You're good for nothing. I never want to see you again...

​
It's a lot of fun, don't you think? Ha, now I remember the other day when I almost had to sleep in the street because they were going to throw me out of the house at 11 pm. I think it's obvious why I don't feel comfortable with them, although I try daily to meet their expectations to... Not end up even worse.
I want to emphasize that not everything is bad. Writing and music make me feel alive, learning drives me crazy, I love popular science and sports (years ago I was pretty good, I won many championships, now I'm flabby, I don't have time or motivation). And of course this community also helps me A LOT.
Now I need to keep studying, there's a lot of work to do. If you've read all this, I hope I haven't wasted too much of your time. Hope you have a nice day, we all deserve to have a nice day. Keep fighting, champ ;).

Well, it's Sunday morning and another early drop of TOC 4 by Discoverplus. You know the drill ... I'll talk the line up, the food the judges and scoring, but won't reveal the winners here, but they will likely be in the comments so read at your own risk. It's a bittersweet review for me, as my beloved Kansas State Wildcats just tumbled out of the real March Madness yesterday. But.... the TOC must go on! And tonight's TOC is going to be brutal as I have way too many favorites in the game on this side of the bracket.
So here we go. All the chefs walk in as usual and Guy shows what happened last week on the bracket board. Here comes the audience!
Round One: "Mayday" Mei Lin vs. "Tiff" Tiffany Derry. Seed three: Mei Lin vs. Seed two Tiffany Derry. Wow. Guy is REALLY solid on this "May Day" nick name. Randomizer is still two proteins with surf and turf and the time is still 35 minutes. Tiger prawns, double cut pork chops, campfire pie iron, holiday supper and double move down. Tiffany and Mei have to agree together to move two categories down one. They now get flat iron steak instead of the pork chops and get weeknight dinner instead of holiday supper. Also these Prawns are HUGE.... they are like giant lobster tails with legs. Tiffany is making a Suya-crusted flat iron steak with prawn and couscous stew. She draws Simon. She explains what Suya spice blend is. Sounds delicious. Mei is making a Vietnamese rice bowl with fried tiger prawn egg rolls and Thai chili sirloin steak. She draws Justin. Mei is using the pie iron for her garlic while Tiffany uses it to char her tomatoes. We get a shot of Sasto, Shota and Hunter in the stew room watching. That would be a fun group to hang out with. Weirdly one of my favorite parts of this show is when they show you little bits of the judges like legs walking or hands buttoning a cardigan and I try to guess the judges. ....
And now, here come the judges: Michelle Bernstein, Jonathan Waxman and Rocco DiSpirito. Justin presents Mei's dish first. Michelle loves it because she eats something like it once a week. She likes the crunch on the prawn. She thinks the meat may or may not have too much sodium. Jonathan thinks it has the right amount. Rocco loves the steak. He says he isn't disappointed at all other than maybe she could have made a better use of the pie iron. Scoring is the same.. 50 points for taste, 30 for use of the randomizer and 20 for presentation. Simon presents Tiffany's dish. Rocco says it is a thoughtful and considered dish. And a great job on the steak. He seems to want more seasoning but likes it a lot. Michelle thinks the couscous is overcooked. She thinks it is fun. She doesn't like the dill. Jonathan says the steak is perfect. He doesn't think the couscous is overcooked but thinks it is a little bland. Scores are 85 vs. 92! The winner of this round will take on either Shota or Sasto next round.
Round Two: First seed Tobias Dorzon vs. fourth seed Karen Aknowicz. He beat Karen last year in TOC by a two point difference. Nicknames here are the Fox for Karen and the Huncho for Tobias. Randomizer: Crab meat, filet mignon, rotisserie oven, candlelit dinner, and high score respin. Tobias gets the respin. He spins equipment and gets rotisserie oven! Tobias draws Simon and he is cooking a seared filet mignon with crab and white wine cream sauce. Maneet and Stephanie are watching in the screening room. Karen is doing a play on a classic old-school steakhouse. She is making a spanakopita style crab bearnaise and butter basted filet mignon. She roasts onions in the rotisserie and then adds scraps of the steak into the basket to flavor the onions. Tobias finishes his steaks in the rotisserie oven after searing them. Karen is putting the crab into her creamed spinach. Justin seems to like what karen is doing. Okay this round is just making me freakin' hungry. Tobias was plating til the end so had no time to clean his plates. Judging: Justin presents Karen's dish first. They do a shot of Tobias in his trailer watching and he says "is that a candlelit dinner in a cereal bowl?" Michelle said looking at it it did not speak to her until she had a bite. She says it has a seductive romanticism. Jonathan says the spinach is exquisite, he thinks the steak is a little too thick cute. Rocco says it tastes like a candlelit dinner more than it looks and loves the onion. I'm guessing she's gonna get dinged on presentation points. Simon presents Tobias's dish. Michelle says the cook has a good grasp on meat cooking. She doesn't think it is the most creative. Rocco liked a plated dish. He thought the filet was undercooked. Jonathan thought his dish had too much meat. Score: 80 vs. 82 close round. The winner of this round will take on either Stephanie or Maneet.
Round three: And this will be my heartbreak round because I love both of these chefs from watching them on Top Chef. Eighth seed Shota Nakajima vs. fourth seed Mustache Joe Sasto. Mustache Joe's outfit is giving me giggles. Guy's nicknames are the Ninja and of course Mustache Joe. Guy says Shota would get the nicest guy award but Joe Sasto is also the nicest guy. (this sure seems true at least from what I've seen of them both in the past.. I don't want either one to lose.) Randomizer: halibut, hanger steak, cast iron multicooker, go to take out and move one up. Both chefs have to decide a which to move. They agree to move the multicooker to the meat tenderizer. Shota draws Justin (who apparently can speak a little Japanese) and is making a spin on Katsu Sando a Japanese fried pork cutlet sandwich -- he's doing a beef Katsu Sando with halibut twist inside. Joe draws Simon and is making Hanger Steak Dan Dan noodles with a halibut egg roll with duck sauce and Chinese hot mustard. Joe hits the garlic with the meat tenderizer and later uses it on the apricots. Shota uses the tenderizer on the steak. Katsu stands for "winning" in Japanese. We'll see if it holds up here. Shota is using both the steak and the halibut in two ways to try to win the randomizer points. Both chefs are using Kewpie mayo. Joe is doing some creative plating but is worried he doesn't have enough steak on the dish. It appears Shota is plating down to the wire. Judging: Justin presents.... Guy calls him the Wolfman. ? He does Shota's dish. Rocco says it is all working and he nailed the take out style. Jonathan loves it, his only downside is not enough ginger. Michelle says it is cravable. She says if she was super picky you can't find the halibut. Simon presents for Joe. Rocco saysit is a fun play on take out, but doesn't see it as a real take out dish. Jonathan disagrees and says it is take out. He doesn't get the use of the meat tenderizer. Michelle says it is a great take out dish and does get the tenderizer on the halibut. She isn't getting enough hanger steak. Score: 84 vs. 80.
Round four billed as the highlight of the night... altho how it will beat the last two rounds I don't know. Three seed Stephanie Izard, the OG Iron Chef vs. second seed Maneet Chauhan the only TOC champion still in the tournament. Randomizer: Calamari tubes and tentacles, rack of lamb, mortar and pestle, lunch special and surf or turf respin. They respin the surf. and.... get dover sole which both of them said they did not want. The dover sole is whole, so they have to break it down. Maneet is making a lamb meatball and tikka masala bunny chow with dover sole fish soup. Stephanie is makin a roasted lamb and cover sole sandwich with ceviche with a jus on the side. Stephanie says she's never broken down a dover sole before. Justin is presenting for Stephanie and Simon for Maneet. Maneet uses the mortar and pestle to grind spices. stephanie is using a sauce made by Shota which is kind of a fun shout out. Stephanie uses the mortar to make guacamole. Maneet's sandwich is very cute. Stephanie seems to struggle a little at the end. Judging: Simon presents first for Maneet. Rocco thought making soup out of the halibut was ambitious. He loved the soup and sandwich special. Michelle thought the fish chunks were too small but she thought it was creative. Jonathan said it was delicious but not the best use of the sole. He loved the lamb meatball. Justin presents for Stephanie and tells them to pour the jus on the sandwich. Michelle says the dipping gravy is messy but the flavor is ahome run. She says the lamb is very rare, she likes the cruchy hand made tortilla in the middle of the sandwich. Jonathan says he's missing the sole flavor. Rocco says it is cravable and balanced and "bad ass." Scoring: 86 v. 84.
That's it for tonight. I picked 3 of the 4 winners so it wasn't too bad. I'm definitely looking forward to the elite eight round next week. But this was a great match up from beginning to end. I think you will enjoy watching it.

You should know the one by now, but here’s where I am right now. (Spoilers ahead?)
I’m writing a Dai Li romance/redemption fic between two OCs, Hong Yan, the said Dai Li agent, and his South Indian based girlfriend, Rajata Vaishnavi, a Lower Ring resident.
Right now, I’m currently working on the last chapter of my second, middle act, in which Hong helps seven of his fellow Dai Li breach the wall for the Fire Nation’s forces, Rajata’s entire world and sense of safety is torn apart as the troops come pouring into the city, and later she works up the courage to go confront Hong in his garden and give him a piece of her mind/know why he was complicit in such an act of treachery.
To make a long story short, it leads to my OCs-well, I’m not sure if breaking up is the right term here, but it’s definitely a sort of mutual turning their backs on each other, an awareness that they’ve got nothing to say to the other anymore.
As for Hong, he also has the attitude that if Rajata wants to reject the protection, the lifestyle, the wealth and prestige he has to offer her, then she can go back to living a hardscrabble life with the rest of her family, until she comes back to her senses.
But after that…I’m really struggling for ideas about what to subject my OC couple to until the climatic day of Sozin’s Comet. Obviously, some of the things Aang and friends get up to in the series are going to affect Hong and Rajata’s lives back in Ba Sing Se, in one way or another during this third act.
And I definitely think there’s going to be a place for lingering feelings between them, with Rajata’s being especially complicated-Hong is her benefactor, villain, hero, sexual partner, friend, conniver, and guardian all at once. Hell, I’d like to straight up have a believable bout of hate sex happen between them at some point if possible.
It’s also reasonable to assume that she’ll be experiencing a significant level of chronic stress under the city’s occupation by the Fire Nation (some of which may or may not actually be signs that she has a bun in her oven).
Other than that though, my mind is mostly drawing a blank here. So let’s hear some thoughts and suggestions, about how to make the rest of my couple’s summer not only more interesting, but also going to hurt like a motherfucker!

Reason: why India is not the rape capital of the world.
1.: Media reporting standards are not the same**
India's media reports things differently from media in other parts of the world. Media reports in various parts of the world have themes. American media focus a lot on race issues. Middle East media focuses a lot on sectarian issues. Indian media focuses a lot on gender issues. It would be faulty to not recognize the themes and blindly use media as a barometer.
Crimes get a disproportionate share of India's media reporting. Top news sources in the US, don't report rapes in the way India does. For instance, 25 women in the US were raped/assaulted in the time I took to write this comment (about 30 mins). You wouldn't likely read about any of these 25 cases in the media.
When a woman was sexually assaulted in an Uber taxi in Delhi, it became a major news and the government quickly reacted. But, such crimes involving Uber is fairly routine in the US.
Sources :
http://www.bostonglobe.com/metro/2014/12/16/least-two-women-who-reported-sexual-assaults-boston-sunday-were-using-uber-police-say/cFHpgzcfIoBYiTfWgOqYOK/story.html
http://abc7news.com/325011/
http://www.whosdrivingyou.org/rideshare-incidents.html#SexualAssaults
In the US and Europe, such rape stories would come in local media and just move out of national attention. You probably didn't even come across it. US local governments didn't pursue Uber with the same vigor. Indian media selectively picks up a case and rallies around that. This creates a distorted reality.
The sad truth is that it is not India vs. US. It is that women get raped and it doesn't become a big news. See this as a global problem.
2.Second fact: India's rape rate is not the highest in the world. Not even close
According to the 2010 UN data on rape, the rapes per 100,000 people in India is 0.4 and 27.3 in USA. Going by these statistics, rape rate in USA is a whopping 6825% of India, so much for the "rape culture" in India.
Sources :
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rape_statistics
http://www.ibtimes.co.uk/top-5-countries-highest-rates-rape-1434355
http://www.nationmaster.com/country-info/stats/Crime/Rapes/Per-capita
If you don't like the statistics, construct better ones. Figure out what factor you want to measure that is not covered in the reports from world bodies. Construct scientifically accepted surveys. Get to the root of the problem with logic. Use your stuff between the ears, instead of passing judgements with hot gas.
Under reporting of Rapes
Now I know the next thing you'll say is that rapes are under reported in India and it's true, but the matter of fact is that rapes are under reported everywhere in the world, including USA. More than 70% of rapes go under reported in USA.
Sources :
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/11/21/rape-study-report-america-us_n_4310765.html
https://cavatus.wordpress.com/2012/03/24/sweden-a-raped-country/
Now for the sake of argument, let's give you the benefit of doubt and assume that only 5% of the rapes in India are reported and 95% cases go unreported. Also assume that 100% of rapes in USA are reported.
By that logic, the real rape rate in India will be 0.4 x 20 = 8. Now let us go further and double that too, we get 8 x 2 = 16, which is still way less than 27.3 (the rape rate in USA).
Therefore, even if you multiply the rape rate of India by 40, it still doesn't matches USA. This proves that India is a much safer country for women compared to USA.
In cultures across the world, rape carries a stigma. Because, most of the rapes happen with people who are close to the woman. Thus, there is a strong social pressure against reporting. This basic fact is lost on the many who are giving their uneducated comments on the issue.
The number of recorded rapes in India is certainly a substantial underestimate, but even if we take five times—or ten times—that figure, the corrected and enlarged estimates of rapes would still be substantially lower in India than in the US, the UK, Sweden, or South Africa (even with the assumption that there is no underreporting in these other countries).
-Nobel Laureate Amartya Sen.
Do you want to discuss rapes or engage in stereotypes?
Here is a simple question for those want to discuss this issue:
Are you interested in creating solutions for making women safe across race, creed, class and country?
Do you want to pick up some news item to justify your own stereotypes about a country?
If you belong to the former group, let us constructively engage in a debate on the solutions. If you belong to the latter group, you are not the solution, but the problem.
In summary, this is plainly a media distortion where one country reports rapes with more vigor than an another country. This leads to blind stereotyping that destroys people's lives &amp;amp; careers for no fault of their own.
Instead of getting into such faulty stereotyping without any statistical evidence, let us as humans figure out ways we can make world safer for women. Because, they are getting raped all over the world at an alarming rate.
You still believe India has a "rape culture" and that USA is a very safe country for women?

Even more data :

Rape Data on India
Reported Rapes
A. Based on United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime (UNODC) data from 2012:
24,923 reported rapes in India, or 4.26 reported rapes for every 1,00,000 women
This places India at 85 out of 121 countries.
This video discusses the above statistics:
Rapes are over-hyped in India - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KdGUPTub-L0&amp;amp;amp;index=90&amp;amp;amp;list=WL
Also see this : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GdoeoU48DIg
Unreported Rapes
B. Based on a survey conducted by UN Women:
India reported 8.5 rapes for every 100 women over their lifetimes, based on the answers they gave household-level surveyors.
The question "if the women had experienced sexual violence at the hands of an intimate partner or any other person" placed India at 39 out of 99 countries.
Ten per cent of women in India reported having experienced sexual violence by their husbands during their lifetime. In the UN Women database, this places India at 43 out of 86 countries with comparable data.
Source : http://www.thehindu.com/opinion/op-ed/comment-article-rape-rhetoric-and-reality/article6705077.ece
Rape Conviction Rate
According to the Guardian, just 7% of reported rapes in the U.K. resulted in convictions during 2011-12. In Sweden, the conviction rate is as low as 10%. France had a conviction rate of 25% in 2006.
Poor India, a developing nation with countless challenges, managed an impressive 24.2% conviction rate in 2012. That’s thanks to the efforts of a lot of good people — police, lawyers, victims and their families — working heroically with limited resources.
Source : Why Rape Seems Worse in India Than Everywhere Else (but Actually Isn’t) - http://world.time.com/2013/11/08/why-rape-seems-worse-in-india-than-everywhere-else-but-actually-isnt/
Archive link : http://web.archive.org/web/20150317034239/http://world.time.com/2013/11/08/why-rape-seems-worse-in-india-than-everywhere-else-but-actually-isnt/

Hello all, as the title suggests, I may need a little "shove" or "hype up talk" to make me push over the last threshold for me before APing.
Since my youth, I have always been a rather anxious/fearful kid...
-Scared of what others might think of me.
-Scared of a relative dying
-Scared if I am not good enough in the end
-Scared if i disappoint, Scared if I don't do good in this exam, scared if I fuck up this date, etc etc etc you guys get the picture hopefully.
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In the past 4 years, I have been doing a lot of meditation, delving into many philosophical concepts of various cultures, employing energy, and even some ritual work. I have read, quite a lot. and this is my issue. I understand that there is no virtue in being a coward. I understand our creative and powerful potential as energetic beings. I understand that we are here to experience, to make mistakes, to learn, to grow and thus to evolve as souls in this rather lengthy journey (if you believe in reincarnation that is). I understand that feaobstacles are a blessing in disguise- direct opportunities for us to grow.... to face our shadows. I understand that we must NOT get rid of our negative aspects of ourselves, but rather, find reconciliation between opposites... a balance. point being not to stop feeling anxiety or fear or whatever, but to be *aware* of such inherent "natural" facets of ourselves, and thus, through this awareness, step back and observe these objects that arise, filter them out, and stop them in their tracks so as to not be *consumed* by them. I.e., be the director and actor of your own life.... control over the primal monkey impulses of the Ego. Lastly, before I keep on ranting for too long, I understand that courage must come from within... that courage is not in the absence of fear, but the triumph over it.
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I have delved really deep into the reasons why I am anxious/fearful... and in these past 4 years, I have come a long way. But it seems that, even though my mind understands these things, my body does not. if that makes sense, which I believe it does not lol. It's like, I just can't bring myself to astral project. the fear ingrained within me given to me by the church, by Hollywood, seems to be ever so greater over my need to verify the true nature of reality for MYSELF, to experience it once and for all, and know that I am not crazy. To see before my very eyes that there is more than meets our fleshy eyes... and further embrace the transformation of character that, allegedly, APs bring. This is something that I need to do! It's been far too long, and I haven't experienced it yet (i.e., projected) because of my own inability to push myself over the final threshold. I have read countless books, I understand the process of inducing the vibrations, everything, you name it. and still, I keep holding myself back.
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I know that these things take time, especially spiritual practices of this magnitude, but I can't help but feel stuck. Perhaps not only in regards to AP, but also in other areas of my life... i.e., why do I still feel such a degree of shame and need for validation from others, even when I read so much of the stupidity and the illusion of it created by the egoic self ? why do I get the jitters and anxiety and the need to coward away in comfort at the simple thought of giving a firm-wide presentation at my job?
Perhaps I say that I understand such concepts, but in reality, I simply really do not.
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Anyways, I am just here to hear your opinions on what makes you get over your fears, what's your reasoning for not fearing spirits (as this fear seems to not only be fear of "evil" entities as portrayed by the machinations of Hollywood, but of spirits in general, benevolent and all), and if you are feeling in getting more personal and in-depth, I would love to hear your triumphs over your shadow self :)
To be fair, writing this out already helped put things into perspective a lot. so thanks in advance lol.
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I wish you all well :).

Hi! I can speak English but I feel like my grammar isn’t the best. I was never taught grammar and English properly. I feel like I should just start over to make sure I understand everything and say everything right. So yeah starting from the basics. I must say that I already have a language proficiency certification (B2). I also almost passed C1 but the problem is that I’m visually impaired and I need more time to complete the test but I never could properly finish and do the test which resulted me to fail. And yes fine for me is really important. I can’t possibly do 3 translation (each almost one page), one reading which again one page, and if I remember correctly 2 letters (one short and one long, btw writing letters is my favourite, I’m good at that). So yeah even tho I know I can speak English I feel like my grammar is lacking. Unfortunately my private teacher ditched me (not rightfully, I didn’t do anything) so I never finished studying.
If you read all of this, thank you! And thank you for helping!

Khalsa ji, we know the truth and need to fix this. People in the west when hear about Amritpal they search him on wikipedia and then distance themself because of the India media Propaganda and fake narrative and fake source of suicide bomber. Instead the line should read 'he is a sikh activist who raised his voice against extra judicial killings, massacre, fake encounter ,water rights and the drug epidemic by the state in panjab' which is the actual truth.
you can use the vice article for the source for the activist part.
IF YOU ARE NOT ABLE TO REMOVE THE SUICIDE BOMBER FAKE NARRATIVE, PLEASE ADD A LINE IN FRONT OF IT THAT INDIA MEDIA AND INDIAN INTELLIGENCE HAS A MASS FAKE PROPAGANDA AGAINST HIM CURRENTLY RUNNING , I AM SURE THERE ARE TONS OF ARTICLES ON GODI MEDIA AND ITS BIASNESS .(there are tons of articles on godi media by international sources - al jazeera, bbc , etc, there's a UN report too and the free media ranking of India by UN etc)
PLEASE EDUCATE PEOPLE ABOUT THE GODI MEDIA AND INDIAN INTELLIGENCE REALITY, HOW THEY RUN FAKE STORIES ABOUT PANJAB AND ITS ACTIVISTS. WRITE MUCH ABOUT THE GODI MEDIA NEXT TO THE FAKE NARRITIVE OF BOMBER SO ATLEAST PEOPLE KNOW WHAT TO EXPECT.
PLEASE SHARE THIS TO YOUR FRIENDS AND UPVOTE IT SO IT REACHES MAXIMUM AUDIENCE.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amritpal_Singh_(activist))