El Hijo del Vikingo, Brian Cage, and other stars competed at the show, which streamed on YouTube. The results, courtesy of Cagematch, are as follows:Dark Match: El Taino def. However, it would be a more significant fight than most others, and if Nunes keeps winning, she’s going to have to fight someone. Injured, everything going wrong, and you couldn’t beat me on my worst day. The less positive news, I suppose, is our fight-by-fight assessment of whether Barber truly is “The Future,” as her nickname claims. Following the victory, “The Sandman” called Merab out, and “The Machine” quickly accepted the challenge. That’s not the only scrap Dvalishvili was willing to accept that night. Something went wrong. His ridiculously active schedule, signature look, as well as his thrilling fighting style, made him must-see TV for the overwhelming majority of his time as a UFC fighter. It doesn’t take away from the countless memories he provided to us, and for that, he deserves all the respect. It was by the narrowest of margins, though, and I certainly don’t agree with Dan Miragliotta’s scorecard of 30-27. Perhaps a rebooking against Alex Caceres, an opponent who withdrew from Saturday’s fight for undisclosed reasons, will be in the cards. It’s not a good ending to that story, but he’s a big boy. For my money, let’s books Pena vs. Aldana and have Holm take on Pena, fresh matchups all around. Marlon Vera at UFC on ESPN 43: Best photosAfter the win, Sandhagen made a direct callout of Merab Dvalishvili (16-4 MMA, 9-2 UFC). If the two won’t fight, putting Dvalishvili in position to derail Sandhagen’s momentum as a contender would be foolish. If O’Malley gets next dibs, then Sandhagen vs Dvalishvili is the fight to make. She’ll move up a bit now, and has put herself in position for another tough fight. 9, and is fresh off a win over Viviane Araújo, so depending on where Barber lands in the rankings this week this should be the next fight to book. Both are sitting pretty far off from a spot in the Top 15, so this fight makes sense, even though Park has more UFC experience than Duraev. They aren’t really close to the Top 15 and will have a similar turnaround time, for obvious reasons. And I beat you on your best, because you’re a little bum. ”Gordon faces Bobby Green on April 22nd at UFC Fight Night: Pavlovich vs. Blaydes. - Alpha AI

I’m a reddit newbie (first post) so, please excuse any faux pas.
I was corresponding with a reddit poster and he suggested I post-up my home lab. I’ve been networking since before Ethernet was a thing (ARCNet) and, I have always struggled at sites creating something that was both professional and supportable. Yes, I’m old as dirt. I had the ‘fortunate’ privilege of having to gut our current house and got to try to build something that was useable, flexible and, most importantly, wife-approved. In the beginning, I only had a 24-Port switch in the rack so, I had a couple of in-wall PoE switches for the Cameras. Last month I threw out the old Cisco gear and installed all-new Ubiquiti gear. Kinda hard for a CCIE to do but, I now love the stuff. All of the gear is in our pantry for easy access. I framed a 20” door into the living room that I fastened a couple of free-standing Telco-Racks to. The computer part of the Lab is a Lenovo Tiny running JRiver for the Media Center (I’m also into good audio). And, a couple of Lenovo Tiny’s running 2019 Hypervisor with a collection of VM’s on each. I chose the Tiny’s because they are naturally low-power and, they have vPro (if you have not used vPro, you are missing out). There is a Synology NAS in the safe that records a constant 190Mb/s stream of video from 17 cameras, hosts a mountain of audio from the years, is the primary storage for backups and, hosts a large photo collection. The NAS in the rack is for secondary backups and, bait for any would-be thieves thinking they are stealing the surveillance video . When it came time to terminate all of the structure-wiring I put in the house (6-miles), I found zero useful solutions from the ‘standard’ home-vendors. So, I wound up cutting a 42” box in two (depth-wise) to make it deeper (two boxes actually). Then, crafted my own brackets to hold standard termination panels. As IP Cameras were not really of age in 2010-11, every camera-drop has Coax, Ethernet and, zip-cord to it. The large black wires on the bottom right are 6-gauge speaker wires. One must have good sound while playing in the lab. Yellow cables are security, red are cameras and, the ‘standard’ for the rest has died. For those into audio, the bottom of the rack is 16,000 watts of amplifiers fed from 4 240V/20A circuits. I had to do something with the power I saved using the Tiny’s.

I have always been quite bad at photography in general, I can barely take a decent photo with my phone. I'm looking to learn about it, since it seems like a useful hobby, and I'm starting a stream/ video podcast with a friend so it would come in handy as a plus to be able to use it for such. I live in Argentina, where prices are wonktastic thanks to our import situation and the availability of cameras is very... let's say strange. Within my budget, I'm looking at four options, all of which I'm looking for input on from someone who knows about it (I'd start with a kit lens, because I don't think it would be a good idea to look into lenses this early without knowing anything)
-Sony a6100 -Sony ZV-E10 -Sony A6400 -Sony A7II
Other than the A7II, which I can find used for a decent chunk off, I'd be going new with all the other options, all four are roughly within a 150-200 USD range of each other here. I'd love to know more about pros, cons, or if there's any camera I shouldn't get as a beginner and reasons for it. There is a fifth option that is about half the price of all listed, which is getting a used A7 (the original A7), which I have been told has bad autofocus but could potentially be good to learn on. Thanks in advance

Period: 520.90 days

	Submissions	Comments
Total	998	66334
Rate (per day)	1.92	127.11
Unique Redditors	763	21433
Combined Score	3851807	1266826

Top Submitters' Top Submissions

1. 87976 points, 23 submissions: MissCrazyLady
   
   1. Just another small update for you guys on Indy and kittens. The kittens will soon be exploring more of the house. (5623 points, 71 comments)
   2. Thought I’d let everyone know how the babies are doing. They are doing good. (5094 points, 85 comments)
   3. Just a little update on the babies. They are starting to open their eyes. (5000 points, 42 comments)
   4. Indy and kittens update. The last one. Indy and Iris are leaving for their forever homes. (4725 points, 66 comments)
   5. Indy and kittens update. All is well. Indy decided that Iris needed a bath. (4612 points, 64 comments)
   6. Indy and kittens being cute. (4382 points, 41 comments)
   7. Indy’s kittens update. They are now five weeks. (4325 points, 62 comments)
   8. The babies are doing good. (4159 points, 45 comments)
   9. Update on Indy and kittens. The kittens have now discovered the water bowl. (4148 points, 65 comments)
   10. I bring another update on the babies. They have reached the three week mark. (3915 points, 47 comments)
2. 77511 points, 18 submissions: vhm3
   
   1. No longer sure if I have two SICs™️ or I was duped by a mirror extension installed by the cat dealership (9339 points, 89 comments)
   2. There was an attempt to sleep (8561 points, 72 comments)
   3. I rushed these guys to the vet because I found bumps on their undersides. Today I learned male cats have nipples 😬 (5389 points, 252 comments)
   4. They used to steal my chair so I added another chair...clearly I did not think this through (4915 points, 69 comments)
   5. My SICs™️ were assembled at the cat factory eight years ago and picked up at the cat dealership 12 weeks later. With regular maintenance, they’re still in great working order. Please wish them a happy 8th assembly day. (4410 points, 148 comments)
   6. I live here now (4194 points, 33 comments)
   7. Working overtime at the bread factory (4100 points, 44 comments)
   8. UPDATE: KINGSLEY HAS BEEN FOUND!!! 6 days and so many tears and blisters later, he's back with me and his bonded sibling as lovely as ever ❤️ Thank you all for the amazing suggestions xxx (3995 points, 256 comments)
   9. Come on man, I don't yell at you when you're in the litter box (3838 points, 56 comments)
   10. Catnip induced attempt at fighting (3802 points, 54 comments)
3. 50753 points, 7 submissions: princessohio
   
   1. If you don’t have a valentine today, Dwight is your valentine. (17650 points, 464 comments)
   2. My SIC - Dwight. I rescued him when he was 6 and he just turned 15 and he’s the love of my life. I don’t know how I survived before finding him ❤️ (8975 points, 419 comments)
   3. SIC Dwight’s Sweet 16th Birthday! Swipe to see the roller coaster of emotions of an old grumpy angel 🥹 🎂 (6050 points, 162 comments)
   4. Dwight is helping me move. (Swipe to see him asking me if we can leave the dog behind) (5822 points, 250 comments)
   5. Happy new year from resident sad-face boy: Dwight. 🥰 (4848 points, 124 comments)
   6. Dwight has his holiday gear on! He says “happy holidays to whatever holiday you celebrate! We love you!” (4456 points, 145 comments)
   7. Guess who’s back? Back again? Dwight is back, tell your friends…. 12 new photos of my king for my favorite subreddit ❤️ (2952 points, 222 comments)
4. 48063 points, 8 submissions: Souled_Out
   
   1. Standard Issue Jujitsu (15065 points, 207 comments)
   2. Standard Issue Productivity Manager (7084 points, 52 comments)
   3. Standard Breakfast Heist (5407 points, 54 comments)
   4. The Anti-Helper (5022 points, 34 comments)
   5. Standard Issue Instigator (4593 points, 20 comments)
   6. The 4x4 Technique (4188 points, 29 comments)
   7. Standard Issue Sister (3515 points, 23 comments)
   8. Standard Issue Foster Brother (3189 points, 53 comments)
5. 39504 points, 11 submissions: mstorijo
   
   1. I love Leia’s face. (7134 points, 70 comments)
   2. Leia gives me so much love. (5147 points, 48 comments)
   3. Leia has a Christmas hug for you. (3723 points, 34 comments)
   4. Leia is now a year old and an epic snuggler. (3548 points, 17 comments)
   5. Leia snuggles (3408 points, 45 comments)
   6. Leia, 7 months, the best colleague ever. (3310 points, 25 comments)
   7. Twitching in her sleep (on my desk) (3155 points, 25 comments)
   8. 8 month old Leia and her glorious tail (2672 points, 31 comments)
   9. Leia is still living her best life. (2551 points, 14 comments)
   10. Leia the heroine who just caught and ate a spider in the bathroom. (2447 points, 52 comments)
6. 32047 points, 6 submissions: skeletowns
   
   1. Posted my SIC squad a couple months ago. Here they are now....the kittens are getting so big. ❤️ (9016 points, 147 comments)
   2. Haven't gotten a photo of my fleet together in a bit....here they are! (6344 points, 95 comments)
   3. my SIC collection!! 2019, 2021, and 2022 models! (5598 points, 150 comments)
   4. Has anyone else had trouble with their units melting together? What do you suggest? (4194 points, 87 comments)
   5. Halloween upgrade came out earlier than anticipated! (4187 points, 28 comments)
   6. The BOGO offer is not one I'd pass up if I were in the market for a SIC! (2708 points, 30 comments)
7. 31389 points, 9 submissions: bassclef62
   
   1. Nothing like being the recipient of SIC biscuit making at 3am in the morning! 😻 (5919 points, 126 comments)
   2. Selfie with the SIC! (4639 points, 70 comments)
   3. Today is a special day for Loki and me. A year ago today I adopted him! Wow, can’t believe it’s been a year! Maybe meant to be, with his heart condition he may have never got adopted or ended up with someone not willing to pay for the proper care. Well he’s a handful but allot of fun! (3953 points, 62 comments)
   4. My SIC came with the massage option! (3242 points, 18 comments)
   5. SIC in full bird watching mode! (3095 points, 36 comments)
   6. Oh man, Amazon sent me another SIC in a box! I thought I canceled my subscription!! (2895 points, 36 comments)
   7. We’re at the SIC Maintenance Center to check his engine with his cardiologist. (2716 points, 22 comments)
   8. I didn’t realize my SIC was a thief model! (2473 points, 69 comments)
   9. This is the reason I get nothing done when I get home! (2457 points, 21 comments)
8. 22803 points, 4 submissions: Visual-Extent
   
   1. 2022 model going from “sports mode” to “cruise mode” in mere seconds (7502 points, 86 comments)
   2. I think my brand new 2022 model finds tickling amusing (v8 engine) (6975 points, 31 comments)
   3. Tippy went in for some standard re-wiring and was fitted with this FANTASTIC little cone (4232 points, 62 comments)
   4. 2022 Floor Model: fantastic gear shifting! (4094 points, 35 comments)
9. 20976 points, 4 submissions: Forsaken_Bonus6164
   
   1. Making progress with this Spicy Standard Issue Mini! (6465 points, 109 comments)
   2. Spicy Standard Issue Mini (6200 points, 107 comments)
   3. Like a dragon on a hoard, a SIC on a bowl of food! (5693 points, 47 comments)
   4. Standard issue feral mini protecting the fleet! (2618 points, 67 comments)
10. 20374 points, 2 submissions: Noob032010
    
    1. My daughter and her best friend. By far the coolest SIC we will ever have (16923 points, 293 comments)
    2. SIC Pickle needs a good tune up. He sputters a bit now but I would never trade him for a new model Note the Sport Edition tail (3451 points, 54 comments)

Top Commenters

1. IzobelStarsw0rd (8903 points, 145 comments)
2. businessadviceanon (8064 points, 141 comments)
3. Lady_Scruffington (7558 points, 253 comments)
4. vhm3 (7024 points, 243 comments)
5. princessohio (6014 points, 281 comments)
6. Perky214 (5023 points, 107 comments)
7. ObviousToe1636 (4828 points, 71 comments)
8. cragbabe (4659 points, 129 comments)
9. Wyrdletini (4142 points, 177 comments)
10. Dry-Bullfrog-3778 (3805 points, 50 comments)

Top Submissions

1. I didn't order a new SIC but ended up accidentally acquiring one. It came missing a leg and slipping into sepsis, cost a fortune to refurbish but is in pretty good shape after 7 weeks of hard work. by haleyforyou (19221 points, 385 comments)
2. If you don’t have a valentine today, Dwight is your valentine. by princessohio (17650 points, 464 comments)
3. My daughter and her best friend. By far the coolest SIC we will ever have by Noob032010 (16923 points, 293 comments)
4. Standard Issue Jujitsu by Souled_Out (15065 points, 207 comments)
5. Her adoption tag said “doesn’t like laps” and “not cuddly” by 1StoolSoftnerAtaTime (14821 points, 295 comments)
6. Someone just told me about this sub. Thought you’d enjoy my standard issue twins! by sassubear (11836 points, 72 comments)
7. What is a Standard Issue Cat? We have made a guide for you! by SIC_ModCat (11810 points, 392 comments)
8. Just learned that I have a standard issue cat, 2022 model by anna_alabama (11498 points, 88 comments)
9. update: GREAT NEWS!! The stray SIC had his vet appointment, and passed the major inspections. He is FIV/FeLV negative, just needed dewormed, and medicated for fleas and mites. He has one tooth. HE GETS TO MOVE IN WITH US! by snugglebrat (11175 points, 404 comments)
10. A beautiful stray decided our house was the perfect place to have her kittens. She had one little SIC! by Whatsthepointofthis9 (10834 points, 178 comments)

Top Comments

1. 2385 points: runninghils's comment in What’s this called on our Sic’s bellies
2. 1447 points: Here2lafatcats's comment in my brother saw these in his yard. are they SIC? he asked if i wanted to adopt more kitties!
3. 1392 points: coreytiger's comment in This is Felony, my 5 month old fluffy sic, her ears suddenly became floppy today… what’s happening?
4. 1382 points: thesnarkyscientist's comment in Just added some aftermarket parts to my 2012 model. Now he has Bluetooth connectivity.
5. 1304 points: TurkTurkle's comment in Is my SIC scared? When I pet him sometimes he will freeze up.
6. 1260 points: NY-LI-2-LV's comment in I didn't order a new SIC but ended up accidentally acquiring one. It came missing a leg and slipping into sepsis, cost a fortune to refurbish but is in pretty good shape after 7 weeks of hard work.
7. 1201 points: DeathpaysforLife's comment in Bella on our morning walk before she went into labor
8. 1065 points: SIC_ModCat's comment in Are these Standard Issue Kittens, or do their mittens disqualify them?
9. 1029 points: SpaceNinjaNarwal's comment in Can anyone explain why my new SIC ears are bent? Might have to send her back to the factory! (jk)
10. 1007 points: Nimrochan's comment in My precious SIC was neutered four days ago, and had been extremely lethargic since then. I almost took him to the animal ER, but I first removed his cone on a hunch - and he was back to his energetic, loud happy self. What a drama queen 🙄

Generated with BBoe's Subreddit Stats

I've browsed the internet for pricing on everything to try and get a decent idea of everything's value(s). That said, I'm open to reasonable offers. Shipping is INCLUDED in pricing. PayPal FF is preferred, but I can also take CashApp or Venmo. NO NOTES, even for the camera. If you have 11+ flair and want to do PayPal Goods and Services, please add the additional fee. (https://thefeecalculator.com/).
Calling dibs takes item(s) at listed price. Call dibs, then DM me with your payment info. If you want to discuss trades or pricing, send me a DM and we can talk, but if someone calls dibs while we're discussing an item, the dibs takes it. I will not reply to chats, only to DM's.
​

• Agilite K19 2.0 Plate Carrier in Ranger Green - $235 https://imgur.com/a/10guKzy
  • Plate carrier is basically brand new. Larped in it a few times around the house. Never had plates installed. Still has the original Agilite info card on it. Just decided to go in a different direction.
  • Would also trade this for a similar condition Crye JPC 2.0 (medium) in Ranger Green. Or if you have another quality carrier in Ranger Green, let me know. Worst I'll say is no thanks.

​
​

• Canon 60D DSLR w/3 lenses. Trade Value: $700 $600 https://imgur.com/a/blDTx1c
  
  • It served me well in it's time, but it's been sitting in it's backpack in my closet for far too long. I won't go into all the specs for the camera, but you can read about it on Canon's website (https://www.usa.canon.com/internet/portal/us/home/products/details/cameras/eos-dslr-and-mirrorless-cameras/dsleos-60d). Lenses are as follows: Canon 18-135mm EFS Image Stabilized 1:3.5-5.6, Canon EF 75-300mm 1:4-5.6 III, and a Sigma EX 17-35mm Aspherical lens. Lenses have all had UV filters on since day 1. Some lenses have a little salt, but all function normally. The Sigma 17-35mm has 2 cracks in the plastic below the AF/M slider (see pictures). It functions normally and the slider moves back and forth normally. It could probably just be fixed with a touch of superglue.
  • Camera comes with everything else pictured - Lowepro Photo Sport Sling 100AW backpack/sling, Canon camera neck strap, 3 lenses, 3 batteries (1 Canon, 2 generic), charger, and lens filters. There are no memory cards included. For full disclosure, the batteries are several years old and haven't been used/charged (except to turn camera on for photos) in years. So, I can't guarantee any specific battery life out of them.
  • Here's my breakdown: 60D body - $250, 18-135mm lens - $250, 17-35mm lens - $100, 75-300mm lens - $80, Lowepro Sling - $20. Batteries, charger, neck strap, and filters for free. I DO NOT WANT TO SPLIT CAMERA EQUIPMENT AT THIS TIME. -- Trade value: $700 $600 (Haven't had any bites on this, so lowering the price.)
  • Since Send it Sunday is for trades only (specifically talking about the camera here), I've got a few things I'm looking for: EOTech XPS2-300 (the .300 Blackout version), or an EXPS 3-0. I'm also looking for a 30mm optic mount, like the Badger Ordnance COMM, Reptilia AUS, or Geissele Super Precision. Extra cash can flow in either direction as necessary. If you're wanting to make a trade, comment on here and then DM me (no chats) a link with some photos of your item.

Nomophobia: The fear of being without a mobile phone or unable to use it.
Nomophobia, a term derived from “no-mobile-phone phobia,” refers to the fear of being without a mobile phone or unable to use it. As smartphones have become an integral part of our daily lives, nomophobia has emerged as a growing concern for mental health professionals and individuals alike. In this blog post, we will examine the causes and symptoms of nomophobia, provide examples, and discuss strategies for managing and overcoming this modern-day anxiety.
Causes of Nomophobia

1. Dependency on Mobile Phones: Smartphones serve multiple functions, from communication and entertainment to navigation and productivity. This increased reliance on mobile devices can make the prospect of being without one anxiety-inducing.
2. Fear of Missing Out (FOMO): Social media and instant messaging have created a constant stream of information and social updates, which can lead to a fear of missing out on important events or conversations.
3. Social Anxiety: For some individuals, mobile phones serve as a social crutch or coping mechanism, providing a sense of comfort and control in social situations. Being without a phone can exacerbate feelings of social anxiety.
4. Digital Comfort Zone: Smartphones have become an extension of our personal space, containing personal information, photos, and connections. Losing access to this digital comfort zone can provoke feelings of vulnerability and unease.

Symptoms of Nomophobia

1. Anxiety and Panic: Experiencing feelings of anxiety or panic when separated from one’s mobile phone or unable to use it.
2. Obsessive Checking: Compulsively checking the phone for notifications, messages, or updates, even when there is no indication of new activity.
3. Phantom Vibrations: Perceiving the sensation of a vibrating phone when it is not actually vibrating, often prompting individuals to check their devices.
4. Neglecting Personal Relationships: Prioritizing phone use over face-to-face interactions, leading to strained relationships and social isolation.

Managing and Overcoming Nomophobia

1. Set Boundaries: Establish designated times and spaces for phone use, such as avoiding screens during meals or before bedtime. Implement “phone-free” periods throughout the day to gradually reduce dependency.
2. Prioritize In-Person Interactions: Focus on cultivating and maintaining face-to-face relationships. Engage in social activities that do not involve mobile phones, such as joining a sports team, book club, or volunteering.
3. Gradual Exposure: If the fear of being without a phone is particularly severe, practice gradual exposure by intentionally leaving the phone behind for short periods and gradually increasing the duration over time.
4. Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques: Incorporate mindfulness practices, such as meditation, deep breathing exercises, or progressive muscle relaxation, to help manage anxiety related to phone separation.
5. Seek Professional Help: If nomophobia significantly impacts daily functioning or well-being, consider seeking the support of a mental health professional, who can provide guidance and coping strategies tailored to individual needs.

Conclusion
Nomophobia is a growing phenomenon in our digitally connected world, with potentially negative consequences for mental health and social relationships. By understanding the causes and symptoms of nomophobia and implementing strategies to manage and overcome this fear, individuals can develop a healthier relationship with their mobile devices and maintain a balance between digital connection and personal well-being.
(more : https://itinsights.or.k%eb%85%b8%eb%aa%a8%ed%8f%ac%eb%b9%84%ec%95%84-nomophobia/

Fairy is Holly Robinson Peete! Let's discuss how the clue packages related to her.

• First clue package:
  • “Making my debut on Sesame Street night makes me feel right at home. Because I grew up on these streets.” = her first television appearance was on a 1969 episode of Sesame Street.
  • Holly in vase = her name is Holly.
  • Feather duster = she had a recurring role on sitcom American Housewife.
  • “Some might say I’m a bit of a nepo-fairy, I mean, while other kids had allowances, I made my pocket money charging the neighborhood kids to come over and see my dad….” = her father was the original Gordon on Sesame Street.
  • “...just hanging out at home.” = she starred in 90s sitcom Hangin’ with Mr. Cooper.
  • Police badge with ‘966’ on it = she starred as Judy Hoffs on 80s television series 21 Jump Street → 9+6+6=21.
  • Black panther = her husband used to play for the Carolina Panthers.
  • Photo frames with Sean Penn, Emilio Estevez, and Rob Lowe / “I definitely could have taken a more direct route to fame, like some of the friends that I grew up with.” = all four of them graduated from Santa Monica High School a few years apart.
  • Basketball = she starred in 90s sitcom Hangin’ with Mr. Cooper, which centered around basketball.
  • “...I chose a more divergent path, prioritizing my education and traveling the world.” = she graduated from Sarah Lawrence College in 1986 with a degree in psychology and French, studying abroad for a year at the Sorbonne, France.
  • Christmas tree = she has appeared in multiple Christmas TV movies, including the Christmas in Evergreen series.
  • Rubber duck = she contributed songs to the Howard the Duck soundtrack.
  • “I got to pursue two of my loves: Singing and acting.” = she is an actress and singer.
  • “Now it’s time for me to sing a song from my favorite Sesame Street resident, because while he may be grumpy, he’s an old friend.” = her father was the original Gordon on Sesame Street / her first television appearance was on a 1969 episode of Sesame Street.
• Second clue package:
  • “Linda [Ronstadt] is dear friend…. She’s been rooting for me since I was 13.”
  • “You see, music is a huge part of my life….” = she is a singer.
  • Christmas tree = she has appeared in multiple Christmas TV movies, including the Christmas in Evergreen series.
  • Black panther = her husband used to play for the Carolina Panthers.
  • Basketball = she starred in 90s sitcom Hangin’ with Mr. Cooper, which centered around basketball.
  • Rubber duck = she contributed songs to the Howard the Duck soundtrack.
  • Police badge with ‘966’ on it = she starred as Judy Hoffs on 80s television series 21 Jump Street → 9+6+6=21.
  • California rolls = her family moved to California when she was a child.
  • Fairy’s tales book with blue ribbon = her children's book, My Brother Charlie, won her an NAACP Image Award for Outstanding Literary Work and the Dolly Gray Children's Literature Award / and her book Get Your Own Damn Beer, I'm Watching the Game!: A Woman's Guide to Loving Pro Football won her the Quills Award in Sports.
• Special clues:
  • Twitter Clues:
    • Feather duster = she had a recurring role on sitcom American Housewife.
    • Rubber duck = she contributed songs to the Howard the Duck soundtrack.
    • Black panther = her husband used to play for the Carolina Panthers.
    • Basketball = she starred in 90s sitcom Hangin’ with Mr. Cooper, which centered around basketball.
  • First performance:
    • “You’re No Good” by Linda Ronstadt
    • Clue (from Cookie Monster) → Paper plate with ‘Endless Love’ on it = she played Diana Ross on 1992 miniseries The Jacksons: An American Dream.
  • Second performance:
    • “Angel from Montgomery” by Bonnie Raitt
    • Clue (from Bill Engvall) → Blackjack (21) / “I know something about winning. And with this hand, I could really take you to school.” = she starred as Judy Hoffs on 80s television series 21 Jump Street, which focused on undercover police officers investigating crimes in high schools, colleges, and other teenage venues.

Here is my ongoing accolades tally. It's still a work in progress, and I'm open to improvement suggestions!
What did I miss?

Hello, my name is rezerer or rez for short (if i trust you enough i will consider sharing my real name) I'm a relaxed and cool headed person. Chilling most of the time, playing games, watching anime or movies. I stream occasionally on twitch and play dnd with a friend group, i can cook and like to do it. People usually tell me i'm a good listener, and a very calm person.
My absolute favourite games are terraria, stardew valley, satisfactory and factorio. If you have never heard of those games no worries, the only thing i wish for is that you would like to play them together! Space is also a interest of mine although i have not been putting much time in to it lately.
I'm looking for a long term monogynous relationship. I do not mind ldr, but would like to move in together at some point. Age range isn't a deal breaker but preferably 19-26.
If you saw anything interesting or want more info about me feel free to send me a message either here or on discord Rezerer#6268
Thank you for reading all of this and i hope to see you in my dm's!

Anyone use spectrums streaming app? I cannot find much info about it. Was wondering if it was good for live sports?

First
The Dauntless/Harriett the Spy
​
“Oh now really Miti’Liin, don’t you think that all the general hubbub is overdone? Surely the galaxy will move on soon.” The well dressed Tret states to her Apuk friend. Their little ‘group’ have been watching the events of the Council Meeting and chatting lightly.
“Oh maybe, but it will at least by buzzing at the lower levels until such a time as all the sillier girls in galactic leadership have had their wakeup call.” Miti’Liin replies as she takes a sip of the warm broth. Her cheery demeanor and sparkling eyes had long charmed the entire group, as did all the salacious gossip she had to bring.
Did it matter that the young Apuk woman bucked nearly every stereotype of her species and was as non-confrontational and demure as they came? Despite that she certainly looked like one of the more dangerous Apuk, which was ironic as she seemed to be nothing more than a petite and very well dressed woman.
It was the strange cultural attitudes of her people that made her stand out so much despite blending in with the rest of the galaxy. She looked like a battle princess in her lovely dress, but had outright shrunken away from conflict.
“Then we’ll never be rid of it. By the time we’re halfway through all the goofier members of the council the first half will be mostly replaced by even sillier women!” A well dressed Lopen woman states from her comfortable cushion on the floor. Sheer weight wise her dress was over sixty percent lace.
“I’m not sure if that’s sadder or more amusing.” Miti’Liin notes before she passes a tray to the Lopen’s reach and she takes a small cracker with a bit of meat off it. The larger woman doesn’t so much eat it as just lick it and it’s gone.
“Still, we shouldn’t let ourselves get distracted. No matter the silliness of the so called command class. Miti’Liin, please take the minutes. We do need to start discussing just what to do in order to keep the synthesization of false Protn to a minimum.” The Tret states.
“Oh indeed!” Miti’Liin states cheerfully. “The galaxy has already been made much too small as is, we don’t need it getting even easier to find and speak to people.”
“All the different cultures running together and losing what makes them special. Disgraceful.” The Lopen notes.
“Now, most of our members are trapped in their duties on The Council, so pay special attention Miti’Liin they need clear notes.”
“Don’t you worry! I’m going to make extra special careful today!” Miti’Liin states happily.
•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•
Miti’Liin returns to her apartment and the first thing she does is teleport to her ACTUAL home. Then the false horns come off, the contact lenses come out. The fake tail is removed and she heads into her bedroom to undress and get into something more practical.
Harriet Dubois emerges in track pants and a sports bra, passing right by the small soldier sitting at the dining room table. “Hello half size.”
“Hello Agent. Good meeting?” Private Stream answers.
“Very informative, but the report’s going to need to wait a minute or three. I was with them most of the day and I couldn’t eat or drink anywhere near enough without breaking cover. Not to mention everything I could eat was all meat based. I need a salad and a whole pitcher of water.”
“Oh I’m not here for the report. I’m just the delivery boy. You’ve gotten more kit sent your way as requested.”
“And you’re still here because?” Harriet asks as she grabs a premade salad out of her fridge and starts filling up a glass of water.
“Is there anything else you need? Information? Tools? Disguises?”
“I’m good, get lost shorty.” She says and the little agent visible seems to deflate before he seems to morosely stagger out of her apartment. He would almost look pitiable if he wasn’t pushing it by playing sad piano music from his communicator as he went.
“Little drama king that runt.” Harriet mutters as she runs a hand over her head and it shifts from a golden blond to a jet black and goes from bouncy and full to straight and silken looking. Such an easy technique, but so very useful.
The salad is nice and crisp, but it’s the water she needs more. The problem with being around a lot of the women of the galaxy is that their reduced needs means that both drinking and eating as much as she wants and going to the bathroom are far less of an option. It’s... odd for most aliens to go to the bathroom as much as a human. So she has to hold it. Often. It’s often easier to just go without much to drink for the longer meetings. But the rest of the day is a trinity of shorter meetings.
The salad is delicius and the light ranch she puts on it helps. It has more flavour than anything else she’s eaten today and she pops in an after dinner mint in order to just luxuriate with something tasty in her mouth.
A few more glasses of water and a couple more mints and it’s back to work. A quick Axiom effect to clean out her mouth and she slips back into the most important part of her disguises. Scanproof material. It comes up as all normal on most scanners and it hides the biggest giveaway of a human. The stomach acid and sheer chemical blast furnace that is their digestion.
It’s also alright against a knife and lies flat enough against her to hide under most of her disguises. In this case, a harsh business suit. A pair of glasses with thick lenses and a harsh oval shape goes over her face as she binds up her hair in a tight bun.
She’s 1000% business and holds herself so tightly and so furiously that when she exits the apartment people just get out of her way. She marches through the streets and steps onto public transport. The path she takes is winding and circles several spires. Before she walks into an office building and marches into a meeting room on the fourth floor down from the rooftop landing pad she was dropped off at.
“Enough.” She states the moment she enters the room. She glares over the room, the glasses shifting the spectrum of light visibly in front of her and she marches over to remove a listening bug from the underneath of the table and crush it in front of them all. The whole display certainly helps endear her to the other four woman. They are each higher ups in the organization and while she had plenty of info on three of them. The fourth was maddeningly opaque. “Are you all insipid or idiotic? What did I tell you when you assigned me to security?”
“That we were to listen to your suggestions no matter how paranoid.”
“Correct. And have you listened to those instructions?” She demands.
“No.”
“No what?” She demands.
“No Miss Harm. We have not.”
“Then why on Centris are you still talking and spilling precious secrets?!” She demands in a furious tone.
She visibly adjusts her glasses and glares around the room. She pulls out and destroys three more bugs before settling down. She has all the remnants in her purse and has crushed them all in such a way as to leave the memory chips undamaged. They are useful after all.
“Very good. Now that our esteemed head of security has had her say. Perhaps you three would care to officially start the meeting.” The woman using a prosthetic body to attend states. Her actual identity is something that Harriet is still digging into. She really wants to find the woman. The seemingly graceful body in shimmering grey and utterly lacking a face is just disconcerting to speak with.
“But we’ve already decided that.”
“No. You fools chatted among yourselves. Now we speak properly.” The leader begins.
“Fine! All in favour of keeping the same meeting location week to week?” The first woman proposes. “I vote aye.”
“Aye.” The woman she had been chatting with agrees.
“Nay.” Says the third more quiet woman.
“Nay.” Says the leader.
“Nay. A predictable meeting place is an easily compromised meeting place.” Harriet says in a tart tone of tightly controlled aggravation. She actually wants to lose a vote like this, but if she’s on the leaders good side she’ll be given more time to actually get to the site. Not that there’s many actual bugs around. But finding her own devices and breaking them in front of the others allowed her to maintain the importance of her position while having all sorts of information come in.
Thankfully her job was data-retrieval and not data-sorting. The poor bastards that come through thousands upon thousands of hours of camera and audio feed without pause. As aggravating as parts of her job was at times it was infinitely better than watching extended movies of nothing with maybe three seconds of useful data. If you’re lucky.
Nope, field agent was FAR better. Even if she actually got sore facial muscles due to maintaining either scowls or smiles for so long.
The meeting then starts going into smaller details and the typical argument of where the next meeting will be held if not here is once again cut off by the leader slamming a synthetic hand into the table.
“I will personally inform you all of where the next meeting will take place. Now, to proper business.” She states. “What have you three to take control of the upper orbital rings?”
“I’ve gotten myself hired into Giagor Transportation Lady Blank. Unfortunately it’s just mid level. I’m going to need to bribe, blackmail and other trifles to get up to the level of power where we can actually do something with it.”
“Very well. Command the Skies Lady Psalm.” Lady Blank states. Lady Psalm started as a mid level manager in traffic control and was personally trying to up her station with this organization. The Sky Maidens were convinced that all of galactic society was dependent, utterly, on air transport. Which... yes it was, but also it wasn’t. There were so many other levers of power that yanking on just that one was only going to get your hand slapped away from the controls. And that was IF you were lucky.
The actual names were Frieda Blanche, Amberlie Sentry and Mira-belle Pneumatic. Code names were Lady Psalm, Lady Choir and Lady Chorus. Lady Blank was in charge and Miss Harm for security. It really...
“Before we continue there is one thing we should address.” Lady Blank states before turning to Miss Harm. “You have persistently and continually fulfilled your contract in full. You have kept our secrets and are both driven and businesslike. While you have little interest in control your fanatical devotion to fulfilling all contracts in their entirety has been noted. I believe it is time we regard you as you properly are Helen Harm. You are no mere Miss, but a Lady, a Lady of Duty. I trust the rest of the council has little in the way of objection.”
“Nope!” Psalm states.
“None whatsoever.” Choir adds.
“If she learns to relax maybe.” Chorus suggests and receives a glare from Harm and slinks beneath the table a little. “Nevermind then. May as well ask Null to behave itself.”
“Which is why she is so valuable to us. Now then, Lady Chorus, what have you uncovered from our potential rivals...”
Harriet shows nothing of her slight adulation at being let into the circle of these goofs. This was one of the more powerful conspiracies. They at least had a partially workable plan of action. So it was all the more important to keep tabs on them. Now if she could only find a way to get a proper tracker onto Lady Blank’s prosthetic body. At least that way they’d know where she goes to recharge it and where it’s receiving one of it’s signals from that.
From there they would be able to track the next link in the chain, there were likely a few more. This prosthetic was too well made despite it’s disturbing features for anyone to just dismiss it or toss it out. Of course she could be wrong. Some people just had the money to throw away multi-million credit purchases like the wrapper off a dime store piece of candy.
Still, these women had blackmail and insider information on far too many transportation companies to be ignored.
Not that she can do anything but listen, spy and wait for an opportunity. Which is the issue most have with these jobs. The waiting. The interminable, insufferable waiting.
Yes she hates it too. You don’t pass Undaunted Training without getting a least a little adrenaline hungry.
​
First Last

Hi All,
Just got around to building my first UnRAID NAS. I'm a one-man show so I'm constrained to HDD's for my long-term storage of original masters.
For my current DIT workflow, I have a Windows VM with Shotput setup on the server so I can bypass the network when dumping. Ideally, I'm looking for something that can still do this quickly at the end of a shoot day (which can be anywhere from 12-18 hours working in the ski/action sports industry).
I typically shoot in either 6K ProRes 422HQ or ProRes Raw, so bitrates of up to 500 Mbit/s mean I'm close to my speed limit with a single stream.
Hence, I'm looking for a workflow on ingest at the end of a shoot day that creates proxy media (ProRes Proxy or good ol' H264) when I'm dumping to the NAS. Could also be a scheduled task ran by another computer on the network which is better suited for the task as well (I have a few M1/M2 laptops which rip through anything ProRes).
Cheers!
MH

General Info

General info and training sections (minus weather details) was written before the race. The rest was written after.
Average weekly mileage (11 weeks – not counting race week): 63 km Peak week (week 9 of plan): 76.5 km
Goal: Sub-1.40. Preferably a PR (ahead of time giving that 20-30% chance of success, otherwise expecting a glorious crash and burn – stay tuned). Old PR is 1.39:39 from October 2022.
Weather: Turned out to be borderline optimal: 5-ish C, low wind, overcast. Please and thank you. Yes. Get it, Britain.
Blog post version with photos: Wordpress

Training

I’ve been working through a long term hamstring injury that seems to be unwilling to completely go away. It gets better, it flares up, it gets getter, then it flares up again. But overall it seems to maybe be going in the right direction so eh. I’m diligently going to the gym to do the exercises my PT gave me so I’m stubbornly staying optimistic.
Sometime around November or early December I sat down and starting plotting out a training plan based on the Word of Pfitz (aka Uncle Pete aka Pete Pfitzinger’s book Faster Road Racing aka The Gospel). I had managed a half marathon PR (first time since 2018) at San Sebastián Half in October, and for that I had peaked at 67 km/week. That was lower than previous cycles due to the aforementioned injury but keep your aerobic base in your thoughts and prayers, folks, because that thing rules.
I read the stars and learned that my 12-week training plan had to start on the 12th of December. Fantastic. Who among us with a fussy stomach doesn’t want to start doing long runs and intervals during Christmas?
Anyway, I decided that since I was semi-/pseudo-injured I’d go easy on myself and just swap out intervals for whatever if it started stressing me out to attempt to navigate social obligations, work obligations, and an over-excited training plan.
During the first weeks I gave it a few shots with strides. I used to enjoy them, but they’re wildly triggering for my hamstrings, and this was clearly still the case, so after several attempts I simply cut them out of this cycle.
Goal number 1: Do. Not. Get. (more). Injured.
Got acceptable work and CityStrides done during December, and rolled into the new year with a hint of optimism. Strides simply isn’t what’s going to make or break the training at my level. There are some upsides to being a midpacker.
January started okay. For a few days. Almost a week.
Then I went down with some kind of respiratory illness. It was stupid. I hated everything about it. I wasn’t crazy sick, but felt fatigued and had violent coughing fits, mostly when I attempted exercise. This pissed me off to a higher than normal degree because it had only been a few months since I had my last respiratory-related illness. Great. 1½ weeks of my training gone and also a red mark in my calendar to note the half year where I’ve spent the most time sick in ages. Unfortunately, my anger didn’t seem to magically cure me, so I impatiently waited it out and by the middle of January was running a mileage closer to my plan again.
I adjusted the training plan down to accommodate this glorious hiccup (remember the aforementioned goal #1?) and got on with it.
Unfortunately, this week winter remembered it was its time to shine, so in the middle of the week King Frost blessed us with some seriously icy roads. I adjusted my workout to some hill stuff on the least slippery patch of road I could find, and told my hamstring to shut up. It was unimpressed.
January 25th brought the first attempt at a legit workout in what felt like far too long, and subsequently had to deal with a body that was like “what?!”, a slightly cranky hamstring/glute, and a brain that felt on the edge of mutiny. It was windy, my pacing was off, and there were random swampy patches underfoot, but in the end I got some tempo-ish stuff done and gave it an “eh good enough” in the score book.
Easy week with four weeks to go was delightful from a workout point of view, and the next week my workout was, once again, disrupted by ice. Given how mild January and February were here, it felt suspicious, borderline personal to have this high a percentage of my workouts cancelled due to ice.
By the middle of February, it was time to focus on faster intervals. To my joy I found that I could hit my VO2max pace fairly well. To my disappointment, each interval made my hamstring announce its displeasure a little more firmly. Threw in the towel after a few rounds. Enough for a bit of confidence. Also enough for me to be annoyed with my body. Just a bit. I went to Parkrun that Saturday and kinda-tempo’d it in revenge.
All of this led me, somehow, to the start of the taper. I did a small LT workout, wisely choosing to run the paces that currently seemed to please more body more (read: anger it less). I accidentally added an overly hilly run (stupid group run), and a delightfully short “long” run.
As always race week was bonkers. I kinda felt fine, but everything was also peppered with phantom twinges and creative pains. Seriously, the taper crazies need to stop.
Tuesday, I did my borderline ritualistic jog with 3k at goal pace (didn’t do the 4 x 100 m strides this time to please the gods, and also my legs). Most of the week I looked up entirely too many random things related to the race, overate, fretted about overeating, fretted about flying RyanAir, fretted about all of the moving parts that really, please, would need to work out and come together. Please.

Race day

Having repeatedly warned my friend well in advance that I would be a fully crazed harridan the 24 hours leading up to the race seemed to take some of the edge off. I was nowhere near as insane as I had feared. Yay me.
Joyfully, the tiny time difference worked in my favor, and I magically awoke three minutes before my 6:30 alarm. I got up and got the pre-race ritual going: 2k jog to check in with mind and body, coffee, and breakfast (that I had prepped and brought with me from home. Not a control freak).
We were out the door a smidge later than my anxiety liked, but the functional part of my brain knew we were fine, so I didn’t freak out.
Going to the race area and seeing the crowds appear was as magical as always, and I was super hype to get to experience it with my friend for the first time. I love the way the excitement builds as you walk along, and the roads start filling with other happy runners. It’s one of my favorite things, and it was so fun to share it with my friend.
By some kind of lucky coincidence, we had the same bag drop tent, so after a bit of wandering about (cause it was cold, so we were keeping our jackets on for a little longer), I changed into my Saucony Speed 2s, dropped my sweatpants and jacket in my bag and handed it over to a young lad.
We then spent a while partaking in one of the two premier national hobbies of Britain: queuing.
A portapotty visit later all was well, but the timing was off. We debated getting back in line for another visit but the national hobby had attracted more queue’ers and the line was definitely too long for me to pee again and get to the line for my start 15-ish minutes later. Damn it. It’s just nervous bladder, it’s just nervous bladder. Say it with me, folks.

The race

In the pen. Km 0.

Ditched my new second hand sweatshirt on a rail as the last ten seconds were counted down. Bought it in a thrift shop Friday, and now it was going to another one. I was mildly amused by that.
Anyway.
I had placed myself near the end of the wave as I had signed up for a 1.35-1.40 wave, and figured most people would be faster. Because, of course, I was the only one who could have had a sub-par training cycle, and everyone else would be well below 1.40. Right? Right??… It’s a good sign when your reasoning is horrendous even before you start moving.

Km 0-2.5: Roundabouts of congestion

The race started, and it was the beautiful chaos that it always is.
I spent the first 10-15 minutes of the race in a giant pack of people moving slower than 1.40 pace and mostly getting stuck due to lack of space. Didn’t cost me a lot, but given normal “start of race”-excitement and my goal, my conservative estimate is a handful of seconds for each km. Also, apparently there was a slight downhill on the second km, which I didn’t get to run fast “down”. Sad.
Km splits, 1-3: 4:46, 4:45, 4:42.

Km 2.5-10: Leapfrogging, strictly(-ish) keeping pace

The first half is usually the fun part, right? Glide along, don’t get too excited, enjoy the vibes, wooo.
After the third km we had run more roundabouts than kilometers which, frankly, felt like a very British experience. A poor volunteer bellowed at me and a few others for going the wrong way around a few cones (briefly dodging the throng of slow moving folks for a bit), which had me acting like a skittish deer. I swear trying to run fast activates some primal survival instincts. In all fairness, his job was not great. The man was trying to keep runners and (slow moving) traffic separate, but the congestion was wild. In my defense there were several meters between the cones and the traffic snailing along, so it didn’t feel like I was being wild and hazardous.
At km 3.5 there was a sharp U-turn, and to my surprise I don’t hate it as much as I had expected. It was probably due to the fact that we were early in the race. They’re still absolutely awful and pretty annoying, but at least on fresh legs it’s a minor detail. The U-turn featured happier volunteers. My legs were also happy, and my pace was much improved thanks to the crowds thinning enough that it was now easier to move forwards.
Up until km 10 I happily ran along, keeping a light eye on my pace, grabbing a Hi5 gel and a bit of water at each of the aid stations. I laughed internally at the steep bridge, which had people visibly, and what felt like dramatically, slowing. I was quite happy with my attempts to seek out hills in my normal training: it felt like I crossed the city bridges easier than most of my new friends.
Part of the course here went through some narrow streets with pretty old buildings on each side. When I say narrow, I mean “I don’t think this was constructed with automobile traffic in mind”. As cool as it was seeing those, it was not great for the pace. I decided to be chill about it, because
a) Freaking out would only make me run less well. Literally nothing to gain
b) Who the hell knew what kind of shape I was in? Why get hysterical about a few seconds here, if I was going to crash and burn from km 15, and hemorrhage time anyway
For once I actually remember at least one of the sites. King’s College was low-key impressive. Shout out to the architects behind that. Even if they died a few hundred years ago.
I had a bunch of km in here where I peeked at my watch and thought I was “bang on the money” with my pace. Then wondered why the hell I kept using that term.
Km splits 4-10: 4:42, 4:44, 4:46, 4:47, 4:38, 4:37, 4:43

Km 10-14: Getting to the scary part (I’m not afraid, not afraid)

For this part we visited the countryside for a bit. It felt like a whole load of transportation, but at least I wasn’t dying, so I’ll take it. I was too anxious about beginning to lose steam, which I usually start doing sometime around here, to properly enjoy it.
I remember a very nice 1%-ish hill that revived my legs. I think my strict diet of “never completely flat” means that my body gets confused by the pancake vibes we came from, and that a brief, slight incline helped my rhythm.
This part also featured one of my two favorite musical acts: some guy who played the guitar with a backing track, who sang like we had been magically transported to the land of the delta blues. I would love to hang out at some bar or café where he was performing.
I remember being amused and a little fearful, that this far it had felt like we had run far more downhills than uphills. Clearly something evil must be gathering on the horizon. Just from a logical standpoint, a race that starts and ends in the same spot will have the same amount of incline and decline. As much as I enjoyed the little 1% hill, I didn’t want anything steeper.
Adding to the sus doom feeling was my ham(s) that let me know they hadn’t forgotten. Like some annoying plot device they decided to haunt me with a feeling that I have come to strongly dislike. Mainly because it makes it harder to run fast, but also because I really don’t want another handful of months of being out with an injury.
This part also featured at least one roundabout (yes, I’m cheating and looking at at least one map) and a visit to the village of Grantchester. I know very little of Grantchester, but the locals seemed to find it significant that we went there, so it gets an honorable mention.
Km splits 11-14: 4:47, 4:44, 4:40, 4:38

Km 15: THE BIG HILL (also this is where I usually start dying)

Like any good semi-neurotic, borderline ambitious person I had poured over all the readily available route information several times before the race.
The good organizers had been kind enough to supply us with an elevation profile, and the most noticeable hill came at km 15. What kind of sicko places the hill at km 15? I was assured by my friend that “it’s Cambridge” so “it’s not really that much of a hill”. But I could see it clearly on the elevation profile! And it was km 15, so it was clearly not to be trusted.
I realize I’m coming off as quite suspicious here, but the back half of half marathons pretty much always do me dirty. I’ve been burned too many times.
So. Anyway.
This led to a few ironic km of me going “was that the hill?” and then “maybe that was the hill?” until I hit km 16 or 17 and concluded that it was probably in there somewhere, and that more half marathons should have those kinds of hills.
Km 15: 4:52 (I slowed down out of respect and fear)

Km 16-18: Surprisingly good, saw an enormous Rolls Royce

Pretty much every half marathon I’ve run has been a struggle bus from km 15 to the finish line. Even though I didn’t feel like I was dying, some part of my brain decided that I shouldn’t push too hard because… I don’t know. I had made the “omg only like 5k left!!”-mistake before, so better stay on the safe side? Honestly, what even is race logic.
The ham(s – I can’t remember if it was one or both) were still hot/cold and bothered, but they didn’t seem to be getting clearly worse, so… one km at a time. No slowing down or quitting until forced to do so.
This part featured a long-ish part on a road with cars on the other side of the it, where I had 4 observations:

1. England seems to be behind on the fossil fueled cars to electric cars ratio. Not great for breathing.
2. Holy shit, that’s a big Rolls Royce. Interesting color choice. I wonder who owns it. Ok, remember the plate, it’s a vanity plate, you can remember it. Remember the plate! (Spoiler alert: I can not remember the plate)
3. Wow, this is a nice, long down hill (looking at my splits, that must have been km 17)
4. Huh, I don’t feel like a day-old corpse raked over a smoldering fire.

At some point around 16-17 I attempted to do run math (lol), and figured out that I was well on time for sub-100. Exciting news. Just hold on. Keep doing like 4:42-4:44-ish km and you’ll get a time in the faster end of your expected interval!
Km splits 16-18: 4:49, 4:41, 4:47

Km 18-21.1: Finish!

At this point we were back in the city. The route doubles back on itself here, and I couldn’t help thinking “holy shit, these people are only at like 8k, and still headed out. I am so happy I’m not them”.
I realize that I, once again, employed false logic. At 8k everything is dandy and exciting, and the adventure is still ahead. I was probably just about ready to be done.
Shortly after that point I saw a guy dressed as a disco ball, and while give him enormous kudos for that, I am also extremely happy to not be the person making my way through 21.1 km with a giant sphere around my torso.
The ham(s) were still on about their business, but we were so close to the finish line now that it was time for them to sit down, shut up, and ignite the rocket fuel.
The field was a lot thinner now. There were people to pick off, but not so many people that passing was impossible. Lots of cheers here, as we ran through what my mind thought might be a shopping district with plenty of happy people. I do love how Brits actually shout your name to cheer you on. It’s nice.
We passed some tennis courts. “Oh. Tennis courts,” I thought. My mind was not doing its finest work at this point.
We ran past Jesus Green which has a stupid street with stupid speed bumps. I guess the organizers know how well coordinated runners tend to be, because there were a dramatic number of giant warning signs about said speed bumps. They had another word for it, but words will not help you at km 20 at a half marathon. Death rattling might.
Here my mind alternated between “is this really necessary?” aimed at the signs, and “is this really necessary”/”why the fuck are there stupid bumps in the road!?” aimed at the ground.
I never have claimed, and never will claim, to be any kind of easy-going and tolerant this close to the end of a race. For clarity’s sake let me just say: the road was fine. There was no issue. It was merely the fact that I was at the stage where I would like the ground to be perfectly flat and even and very, very close to the finish line. And it wasn’t. It wasn’t flat and even, and it was only kinda close to the finish line.
The finishing sprint was excellent. Far enough that you see the big portal, and run on vibes and will and get to enjoy it, not so far that you run out of gas and into regrets.
I had had my eye on another woman for a good while, and thought she was too far ahead for me to catch, but either she slowed down quite a bit or I speed up a lot, because I managed to pass her before the line. What a thrill.
Km splits 19-21: 4:46, 4:35, 4:38.
Last at 4:04/km pace

Post-race thoughts

I looked down at my watch after passing the finish line and felt a lot of feelings.
My watch said 1.39:43. My PR was 1.39:39. But at that race my watch had said a slightly higher number. And here I knew that I had somehow missed a few second due to failing to properly hit the start button in the cold chaos of the start, but I also didn’t stop it until I had passed the very last timing mat. And my watch said 21.16 km, which was likely just down to GPS inaccuracies and/or weaving. But it was one more uncertainty.
For all I knew the time would be somewhere between 1.39:35 and 1.39:47. Which meant I wouldn’t know if this was a PR or not until I had the official chip time.
Suddenly “I will be so happy to run sub-100” felt oddly hollow. Who the fuck cares about sub-100 if you can get a PR?!
I slow-walked with hundreds of other tired folks through the gated off area where I picked up my goodie bag and a cup of water and trudged on to the bag drop area. Man, shorts and a base layer shirt can get cold quickly. And why is it so far to the furthest end of the bag tent?
Luckily, there was no line so I zombie walked up to a teenager who got me my bag. Give jacket and sweatpants, please. I was smart enough to take off my shirt and use it to wipe away most of the moisture from my upper body before putting on a dry shirt and my jacket. I didn’t care to fully flash the good folks of Midsummer Green with my nipples or nether regions, so the sweaty shorts and sports bra stayed on. It was fine.
My buddy wasn’t likely to reach the finish line within the next thirty minutes, so I sat in no-brain mode on the grass with my phone and tried to convince myself that I wasn’t cold, and tried to coax some results out of the internet. Unfortunately, thousands of other people did some variation of the same thing, so a chip time was nowhere to be found at that moment.
A while later I found my buddy, and was overjoyed to hear he had a really good experience. We trundled home and spent a good while lying on the couch staring at the ceiling/a phone/into a book before celebrating in a more regular manner.

Post-er race thoughts (evaluation)

A good while later I got through to the official results.
1.39:43.
Four. Seconds.
Four seconds slower than my October PR.
A bittersweet result. Despite how much I questioned my current fitness going in, I feel convinced that I could have found a handful of seconds out there. I know it’s always like that. You can always do better. At least it feels that way after the fact. But damn. Four seconds.
I did a lot of things right and got a lot out of this race, so I’m not wallowing in self-pity. I’m not (very) upset. I just have this little devil voice inside my head going “you were so close… you can do better…”
So… any suggestions of well-organized, flat half marathons in Europe in October-ish?

A few final points and ruminations

Praise the flat
This might be the easiest half marathon course I’ve raced. Close in competition is Oxford and San Sebastián. I guess Copenhagen is also flat and fast, but I had a terrible experience there (I don’t blame Sparta. I do blame one of their staff a little bit though. He was a giant asshole with no sense of reading the room, but that neither here nor there. Also the only shit volunteer I’ve ever met, and I guess that has to happen one time. On the other hand he might have been paid staff in which case I can go back to praising all volunteers forever and always).
Praise the dope af music
The musical level out there was way above average. Special shout out to the blues master, and the man playing Well Dressed Man while I was running by.
Yes gels
Giant shout out to the Hi5 gels at every aid station. That was great.
It kinda threw me to not have the horrid lack of carbs/energy/whatever in the back half, and should have turned up the effort earlier. Note for next time.
Yes photos
Can’t say that I love jumping through hoops to get my photos (even when free) and to avoid posting them to Facebook. However, I am super happy to have so many photos from the race. I’d much rather have a quality photo than a medal to remember the race by.
Big shout out to the photographers who spent hours on course and took high quality photos of everyone. Thank you!
Please, dear race organizers, don’t make road narrowings in the first 5k
Anti-praise stupid congestion and narrowing of the course, esp. during the first half.
Yes, I will probably forever (at least until my next half marathon PR, that is) wonder if I’d have gotten a PR here without the congestion.
Thoughts on Brexit
What the hell is cheese and onion chips? Why must British food be an abomination before god?? New conspiracy theory: The UK was actually thrown out of the EU on basis of their food choices.

Numbers

1.39:43 (4:43 min/km)
First 10.5 km in 49:31-ish.
Last 10.5 km in 49:16-ish.
2412/11382 OA (21.2%)
356/4698 F (7.6%)
58/633 F30-34 (9.2%)

Ok, the very thing I’m about to tell you may sound fake, dear reader. Despite that, I can assure you that this is very real.
For context, I’m 23, I live alone and this might not sound very surprising but I’m a bit of a nerd.
I dropped out of college due to personal reasons and since then I’ve been steadily building up a collection of DS games. From Diddy Kong Racing to the much harder to find Shepherd's Crossing. I’ve sunk a lot of time and money into this. Back to the main point, recently I’ve started using Ebay, as the local thrift stores inventories have been lacking to say the very least. Most of what I’ve purchased from there have all been in great condition, it’s something I’d recommend if you’re a collector like myself.
However, things took a turn for the bizarre. As per usual, around a few times a week I get a knock on the door, thank the mailman and retreat back into my cozy little sanctuary.
(Edit: *Mailcarrier. Because god forbid the mailman ISN’T a male man.)
I ordered “M&M’s Break ‘Em” , a forgettable yet guilty pleasure of mine.
When I finally opened up the box there was a note “Thanks for Purchasing from so and so” (I have no interest in giving them any recognition after what happened.) Underneath was the case, clearly resealed with tape and a bonus “Grab Bag” of other games I’m assuming they needed to get rid of.
I peeled the tape off of the case carefully and there wasn’t anything inside. Great. $22 (Plus a hefty and unforgiving shipping fee) for nothing. I tossed it aside and impatiently sifted through the bag. Many of the games were broken. Some of them I already had. One cartridge caught my eye. It was white with no label except for residue from the sticker that was once on it before. I swallowed my pride and loaded it into my DS.
I was greeted with a bubble “Please Enter Password.” I didn’t know that you could password protect games but it isn’t completely unheard of. I tried the easy stuff first: 123, 246, 369 etc. etc. Then, other combinations: 111, 222 and so on.
666 seemed to work. I don’t know what edgelord figured that it absolutely needed a password but whatever. There was a loading screen that seemed to go on for what felt like ages when the menu finally loaded. “The Adventures of Rap Boy and..” the rest of the title didn’t fit on-screen. That’s.. Weird. I’ve never heard of this. In the background a rapid beat started to play. Its so familiar. I decided to check the save files, nothing.
I started a new game, put a fake name because I don’t feel comfortable letting tech companies know about me, its almost technophobic in a way.
(Edit: Before you get pissy with my choice of words AGAIN, its a real condition that I’ve talked about with my therapist before. I’m working through it one step at a time.)
I chose something a little stupid that I always go with “Fartbu-” It would be bubble but there was a text limit. Another loading screen but this time it was in the style of the Batman transitions. A womanly sounding voice spoke urgently “Fartbu, I need your help! Someone took my purse!” Lol. Sweet. Anyways, instructions scrolled by too quick for me to read them and I was immediately thrown into game. I got it. I’m playing some weird Batman ripoff.
The controls didn’t work very well and I’d clip through the ground a lot. I was running through a city with a yellowy tint overlay. The type of yellow you’d see on a chain-smoking single middle aged womans living room walls. It almost looked like a GTA clone. There was one objective thus far: Return the womans stolen purse.
Cars sped by, items being thrown at my character. I took varying levels of damage but no purse to be seen. It seemed really unfinished. Eventually I clipped into an alleyway where lo and behold, there was an item I could obtain. It didn’t look like the rest of the game in the way that it was lower in quality, pixelated, while the rest of the game looked more akin to the iCarly game that I was much more accustomed to over the years. This. This was uncanny valley if I’ve ever seen it. As soon as I clicked on it, I was shown “Mission Completed” along with my score. It flickered between 20-40 points. I continued on.
There was a cutscene where my character was rewarded with a shiny golden medallion for his good samaritinship. Suddenly my screen went completely black. It restarted but this time I got the Health and Safety warning. I decided to take a break because I had spent nearly all day tinkering with the faulty controls. When I looked out my window it was already dark outside. I tossed my DS aside and went to bed.
When I woke up I decided to use my laptop, checking my emails and such when I realized an unknown senders messages flooded my inbox. Annoyed, I deleted the spam. I remembered, the game. I went onto Ebay to leave a review but the seller’s page was gone. So were my confirmation emails so I couldn’t go back and check to see if maybe they had any contact information. They screwed me out of my game but its fine.
There’s the daily knock on the door. I put on my slippers and dragged myself to the door where I looked through the peephole, nothing. I opened the door enough so that the door chain would keep the space between me and the outdoors small. No package either. I must’ve been hearing things. I checked back on the game but when I once again started it up, there was another password. It had changed. I tried my previous attempts and got it eventually. Everything that happened yesterday happened again. Loading screen and Menu. The music this time did not play and there was no title. It must’ve gone through some kind of error to completely reset it. My previous and uneventful playthrough did not save. But there was something waiting for me in my save files. An untitled game that seemed to have more progress than I had made. I decided to load it up. “Are you sure you want to load this save?” Yes. I’m sure, DS.
This time the mission was a little more complicated. Even a little different from your typical Nintendo game. I had to resolve some sort of conflict that had resulted in a shootout. The screen loaded more slowly this time. The music suddenly startled me. It was distorted and quite frankly made me a little nervous. The woman called out for help once again but she sounded strange..
I ignored it and went through with my mission. The same city, same cars and same shitty mechanics. I arrived to the spot the game had been not so subtly guiding me towards. These pixel people were throwing banana peels and other fruit. It was fucking stupid but I clipped through the ground and started a cutscene. The screen flashed red and white to simulate taking damage but by the end of it they were all defeated.
Another award ceremony but this time, I could make out my characters face. Is that… Eminem?? I pieced it together. An Eminem DS game. That’s.. Really fucking stupid. I didn’t ask for this nor had I ever seen anyone talk about it.
I popped the game out mid scene and tossed it, and the rest of the games out. I messaged my friend about this because it was stupid and I needed someone to share this with. He answered immediately.
Me: Hey lol. You know how I collect games and shit right?
“L”: Yea
Me: Well this fucker scammed me and I ended up getting a weird foreign ripoff about.. You’ll never guess. Emi-Fucking-nem
“L”: Like… The rapper??
Me: Yeah and it’s super buggy. Like, it doesn’t play well and it came password protected
“L”: That’s retarded. Why would you even play it
Me: I didn’t even know what it was. It didn’t have any kind of markings or anything.
“L”: You’re lucky it isn’t haunted. Do you know how many of those Creepypasta assholes would hound you for it? Lmao
Me: Maybe I’d at least get my money back. Its too late. I got rid of it
END OF CONVERSATION
Or did I…? I didn’t realize that I left my DS on. The game was… still playing? How is this even possible. I got rid of it and there was NOTHING in the slot either. Maybe my friend was right and it was haunted. No, its probably some weird ass virus it gave my DS. I did a full reset and it was back to normal. That’s a relief. I’d be pretty pissed if some fucking game broke my DS that I payed good money for. They’re harder to come across for a reasonable price these days. I’m rambling but what happened next was disturbing.
My DS started the game again. I didn’t touch anything… Why is it doing this.
Suddenly the title screen was indescribable.. A bloody mess of limbs and organs scattered in the background to make a fucked up pattern and the glitchy music was so loud that it violated every one of my orifaces that could be accessed. I couldn’t stop from playing it once more. I went to the saves. This is what got me. My full legal name was on the screen. My hands shook violently and I wiped the sweat from my forehead. This was no joke. How did it know who I was? The screen went black and the usual mission screen played through. There was no text but the music cut in and out with the occasional blood curdling screech. It loaded but this wasn’t just any city. I realize it now. It was MY hometown. What the fuck is going on?? Is this a joke?? If it is, it isn’t fucking funny. The streets were covered in realistic blood and innards. There were women and children screaming for help and now cars slowly cruised by yelling obscenities at me. About how I was a monster and how could I have done something so horrible but I didn’t do anything. This was the games doing. I quickly shut it and went to call the police but what for? What are they gonna do about a video game? My phone had no service anyways which added to my unease.
I had no choice but to continue. I recognized all the places. The park that was by my home, the schools and the restaurants. I know where the game is taking me.. Or.. him (my character) it’s taking us to my home. I looked outside the window, nothing. I’m not sure what I thought I’d find but that took a little bit of the tension off of me. I let the game do what it does. Realization sat in with me. This is the smoothest its run since I got the damned thing.
We were nearing my street, I chewed my lip in anticipation as I kept glancing outside when suddenly there it was. My house. I wasn’t in control anymore, it was coming up the steps. This wasn’t just my town either, this was in current time, my curtain was pulled back at the corner where I had been looking and I moved into my bedroom.
The screen went black yet again. Damnit. It died.
There was banging at my door. This has to be a coincidence. I checked through the peephole, nothing. I once again cracked open the door when a bloody hand forced its way through the space and reached for me. I kicked the door shut firmly and went to grab a knife. There was a sticky note waiting for me on the counter. “Its no use, I’ve already been inside your house. Love, Slim.” This isn’t funn- My thought was interrupted by the front door swinging open, bringing and inevitable darkness with it. I dashed towards my room and locked the door.
Music was playing, the music from the menu. Shit. My DS had turned back on and was now giving away my more than obvious position. There was more banging and then.. Nothing. It was over. Or so I thought. I glimpsed down at my DS. There was plain white text.
“I’m in the closet.”
Slowly staring up I saw the face of true horror.
Eminem with sunken in black eyes, blood stained yellow teeth and fingernails and tattered clothes. This can’t be Eminem. He hasn’t looked like this in years.
He pointed to me and beckoned me over with a long scary contorted finger.
He smiled at me with his sharp crooked teeth. “Its been a long time, ______”
“I don’t understand! Why me? Why now? What did I do..?” I dropped to my knees, pleading with him between labored sobs.
He chuckled “You really don’t remember, do you? You were always so forgetful.” He grabbed my arm and stared into my eyes
Oh my god. That’s right. My parents took me to see him in concert when I was just a toddler. That day has haunted me ever since. While performing one of his hit songs he stared right into what felt like my soul “I’ll see you soon, ____” He muttered under his breath
Memories were flooding back. I remember. He was the mysterious man in the background of all of our family photos. I met his gaze “You. I know you. You’ve been following me”
“I have, and now it’s time for my revenge. I want you to feel as alone as I felt all those years.” His jaw unhinged and then everything went black.
Its been a year since then and I’m still getting adjusted to my human flesh.
Love, Slim.
The End

https://www.nytimes.com/2013/01/27/magazine/how-much-can-restitution-help-victims-of-child-pornography.html
When Nicole was a child, her father took pornographic pictures of her that still circulate on the internet.
Victims of child pornography can now collect damages directly from those convicted of possessing their images. But how much can restitution help them repair their lives?
By Emily Bazelon Jan. 24, 2013
The detective spread out the photographs on the kitchen table, in front of Nicole, on a December morning in 2006. She was 17, but in the pictures, she saw the face of her 10-year-old self, a half-grown girl wearing make-up. The bodies in the images were broken up by pixelation, but Nicole could see the outline of her father, forcing himself on her. Her mother, sitting next to her, burst into sobs.
The detective spoke gently, but he had brutal news: the pictures had been downloaded onto thousands of computers via file-sharing services around the world. They were among the most widely circulated child pornography on the Internet. Also online were video clips, similarly notorious, in which Nicole spoke words her father had scripted for her, sometimes at the behest of other men. For years, investigators in the United States, Canada and Europe had been trying to identify the girl in the images.
Nicole's parents split up when she was a toddler, and she grew up living with her mother and stepfather and visiting her father, a former policeman, every other weekend at his apartment in a suburban town in the Pacific Northwest. He started showing her child pornography when she was about 9, telling her that it was normal for fathers and daughters to "play games" like in the pictures. Soon after, he started forcing her to perform oral sex and raping her, dressing her in tight clothes and sometimes binding her with ropes. When she turned 12, she told him to stop, but he used threats and intimidation to continue the abuse for about a year. He said that if she told anyone what he'd done, everyone would hate her for letting him. He said that her mother would no longer love her.
Nicole (who asked me to use her middle name to protect her privacy) knew her father had a tripod set up in his bedroom. She asked if he'd ever shown the pictures to anyone. He said no, and she believed him. "It was all so hidden," she told me. "And he knew how to lie. He taught me to do it. He said: 'You look them straight in the eye. You make your shoulders square. You breathe normally.'"
When she was 16, Nicole told her mother, in a burst of tears, what had been going on at her father's house. Her father was arrested for child rape. The police asked Nicole whether he took pictures. She said yes, but that she didn't think he showed them to anyone. A few months later, while her father was out on bail, Nicole was using a computer he gave her to work on a presentation for Spanish class when she came across a file with a vulgar name that she couldn't open. She showed it to her mother and stepfather, and they brought the computer to the police.
A search detected five deleted video files of child pornography, two of them showing Nicole and her father. In the spring of 2006, he was charged with a new crime—producing the videos—and he fled the country. At this point, the police didn't realize that Nicole's father had also distributed the images.
Months later, the police said they had no leads on her father, so Nicole went on television to ask the public for any tips that might help them find him. A police officer in Toronto involved in tracking child pornography around the world saw the broadcast and recognized Nicole as an older version of the girl in the notorious videos. The Toronto officer set off an alert that reached the police in Nicole's hometown, informing them that she was the victim in a major pornography-distribution case.
The alert brought the local detective to Nicole's house on that December day, to confirm that she was in fact the girl in the pictures that circulated around the globe. "It was the worst moment of my life," Nicole said of seeing the pictures of herself. "In a way, I didn't remember it being that bad with my father—and then I saw that it was. Knowing that other people, all over, had seen me like that, I just froze. I could hear my mother crying, but I couldn't cry."
Nicole's appearance on TV produced a tip that eventually led the police to arrest her father in Hong Kong. But by going public, she had inadvertently exposed her identity to thousands of men who for years had collected her images. On one Web site with an American flag design, on a thread that continued for four years, commenters described in detail the acts of rape and bondage Nicole had experienced. One called the videos "legendary." Another called her "an eager participant" because her father instructed her to smile and talk in the videos. "The fact remains that she is the most searched for, sought after and downloaded ever," a third commenter wrote. "There are hours of video out there. It's just too bad there are not more willing like her."
For Nicole, knowing that so many men have witnessed and taken pleasure from her abuse has been excruciating. "You have an image of yourself as a person, but here is this other image," she told me. "You know it's not true, but all those other people will believe that it's you—that this is who you really are."
Until the 1970s, magazines with titles like Lolita were rife with sexual images of minors and routinely sold alongside adult pornography at red-light bookstores. In 1978, Congress made child pornography illegal, and four years later, the Supreme Court upheld a state law banning its sale. The court's decision changed the market along with the law. "The commercial distributors started to go out of business," said Kenneth Lanning, a retired F.B.I. agent who consulted on child pornography cases for decades. For a time, distribution and production plummeted. But then came the Internet. By the mid- to late 1990s, Lanning said, "there was a way for people seeking it to find each other and send images."
A decade later, the Justice Department interviewed veteran experts like Lanning for a 2010 report, and concluded that "the market—in terms of numbers of offenders, images and victims"—was growing to a degree described as "overwhelming" and "exponential." In the early-Web year of 1994, only 61 defendants were sentenced in federal court for child-pornography offenses; in 2011, 1,880 were, a 30-fold increase. The federal definition of child pornography extends to young people up to age 18, but the 2010 report noted that it had become more common for images to involve young children, as well as violence and sadism.
Precise numbers of child-pornography viewers are hard to come by. Unicef estimates that there are at least hundreds of thousands of Web sites with child pornography worldwide. Child-pornography consumers are even more likely to swap with one another via hidden networks. Using a tool developed at the University of Massachusetts, Amherst, in 2009, police have logged close to 22 million public I.P. addresses offering child-pornography pictures or videos via peer-to-peer file sharing, which allows users to download content from one computer to another; almost 10 million of the I.P. addresses were located in the United States. Many of the users shared only a single illegal image, perhaps downloaded inadvertently, but others offered collections of hundreds or thousands of pictures.
To gain access to a group of downloaders, a recent arrival may have to prove himself by delivering new material. Often this involves digitally altering an existing image, but in some cases, it can also mean seducing children to create new pictures to trade. The most desired series zoom around the Internet. "A lot of these guys have a collector's mentality," Lanning said. The pictures Nicole's father took became must-haves and went viral.
For Nicole, knowing that her photos were circulating was an unrelenting burden. It was hard to concentrate at school and hard to forge new friendships. She stayed close to just a few friends from her church. Her family is deeply Christian—"I've found comfort in my faith," she says—and she was home-schooled for a few years as a younger child. Her friends from church were the only ones she told about her father. "Everyone else I held at arm's length," she told me when we met this summer at her lawyer's office. Nicole speaks deliberately and carefully, and on that day she was wearing an outfit that matched her coral nail polish and perfectly applied makeup. "But other kids found out after my father was charged. I remember walking down the hallways and thinking I could hear people saying, 'There's the girl who was raped by her dad.'"
In her junior year, Nicole transferred to a community college with a program for students who wanted to earn an associate's degree while finishing high school. "At the time I'd have said I went for academic reasons, but looking back, it was also to isolate myself," she said.
Late that spring, Nicole got a series of messages on Myspace from a man who said he had been looking for her for five years. He asked, "Want me to come visit u?" When Nicole blocked him, he wrote to one of her friends on Myspace, telling her that Nicole was a "porn star"—and sending two images. "That's when I fully realized what it meant for these pictures to be out there," Nicole said. "I couldn't get away from it, not really. I started getting paranoid and having nightmares."
The man was arrested and went to prison, but Nicole couldn't avoid the knowledge that other men were still looking at the sexual photos of her young self. Later that year, she got a letter from the Victim Notification System at the Justice Department. Congress had passed a law in 2004 mandating that crime victims receive notice every time a suspect is arrested or has a court appearance. The letter was addressed to Nicole's mother and stepfather because she hadn't yet turned 18; it informed them that a man in California had been arrested for possessing a pornographic photo of her. "It just sat there on the counter for days," Nicole remembered. "We didn't really know where to put it." More arrests followed and more letters—piles of them. "We stacked them in a laundry basket in a walk-in closet so I wouldn't have to see them," Nicole said. "Then there were more baskets, and we had to move them to the garage. It was really hard for me. I was still scared of my father, but I knew him. These other people, they were strangers, and there were so many of them."
The piles of letters would eventually connect Nicole with another young woman who had also been abused and then lead them both to court. Back in April 1998, in one of the first investigations into Internet trafficking of child pornography, the F.B.I. started tracking an AOL user, with the handle HAZMAT029, who was posting on an AOL bulletin board service. HAZMAT029 sent 80 illegal pictures to another user, BMR169, along with e-mails that included the message: "do me a favor. get a peice [sic] of paper and wright HI HAZ on it and take a pic of her in nothing but stockings pulled down below her [genitals]." BMR169 e-mailed back pictures of a young girl, her shorts and underwear pulled to the side, sitting on a gray carpet in front of a wooden dresser. Next to her, a note read, "HI HAZ."
The F.B.I. traced BMR's AOL account to a suburban house in a small town, and in October of that year, a team of agents arrived with a search warrant. In a basement bedroom, they found the gray carpet and the dresser. They also seized a computer full of illegal images, including pictures that showed the same girl being forced to give oral sex and being raped. The man the F.B.I. suspected was BMR wasn't home, so the agents showed the face of the child in the photos to his wife and his adult son. Did they recognize the girl?
They did. As they spoke, one of the agents looked out the window of the house and saw the girl playing in the yard across the street. "It's something I'll never forget," he told me.
Amy, as she's called in the court documents, was BMR's 9-year-old niece. Shown sanitized versions of the pictures, Amy denied that her uncle had abused her. She said he told her she was special and took her to buy treats like beef jerky, and she didn't want anything bad to happen to him. "How is he?" she asked her parents in the weeks after his arrest. "Is he going to be mad at me?"
Over months of therapy, Amy began to talk about the abuse. "My mind has everything in it," she told her therapist, according to court records I read with her permission. She remembered her uncle trying to have sex with her—it hurt, and she pulled away. And she remembered, at his direction, chatting with men over the Internet about the photos he sent them.
Amy's uncle pleaded guilty to one count of rape and two counts of child sexual abuse in state court and was sentenced to the minimum for each one, adding up to 12½ years in prison. In federal court, he pleaded guilty to one count of production of child pornography and received a 12-year sentence. Amy's current lawyer, James Marsh, says her parents were told the state and federal penalties would run consecutively, but instead, her uncle was allowed to serve the two at the same time.
Amy was given a diagnosis of depression and post-traumatic stress disorder the year her uncle was sentenced, but she also asked to stop going to therapy—she told her parents that she didn't want to talk about the abuse anymore. Her mother, who worked in health care, and her father, a tradesman, blamed themselves for trusting Amy's uncle with her. For years Amy's mother barely spoke to Amy's aunt, who remained married to her husband, even though the sisters continued to live across the street from each other.
As Amy grew up, she tried to push aside what had happened to her. Every few months, in middle school and high school, her parents would ask if she wanted to talk about it, and each time she would say no. "I was always thinking about it, but I wasn't ready to deal with how I felt," she says now. Amy threw herself into her social life, going out and drinking in the hills behind her house. Even to the friends who knew, it almost seemed as if the abuse hadn't happened.
When she was 17, Amy received her first crime-victim notice from the Justice Department. "My mom said it was a mistake, because I was still a minor—the letter should have been addressed to her and my dad," she said. "But it had my name on it, and I never got mail, so I wanted to open it. My parents took me into their room and said we needed to have a talk." Amy's parents had never told her that her uncle had distributed images of her to other men. "It had been so long by then, eight years," she said. "They didn't know how to tell me."
Amy's parents took her to see Marsh, who had started the public-interest Children's Law Center in Washington. At their first meeting, he explained to Amy that the letters meant her pictures had been traded countless times online. "I just felt so full of shame," Amy said. "I started wondering, Has he looked at them? He said he hadn't, and that made me feel better. But then I thought, Who has?"
Marsh researched legal remedies for Amy. Combing through his casebooks, he found a provision in the Violence Against Women Act that he had never heard of before: it gave the victims of sex crimes, including child pornography, the right to restitution or compensation for the "full amount" of their losses. Enumerating what those losses could be, Congress listed psychiatric care, lost income and legal costs and concluded, "The issuance of a restitution order under this section is mandatory."
The provision for restitution, enacted in 1994, had yet to be invoked in a case of child-pornography possession. The basis for such a claim wasn't necessarily self-evident: how could Amy prove that her ongoing trauma was the fault of any one man who looked at her pictures, instead of her uncle, who abused her and made the pornography?
Marsh suggested that Amy see a forensic psychologist, Joyanna Silberg, who evaluated Amy and said she would need therapy throughout her life and could expect to work sporadically because of the likelihood of periodic setbacks. Silberg attributed these costs—Amy's damages—to her awareness of the ongoing downloading and viewing. "Usually, we try to help survivors of child sexual abuse make a very strong distinction between the past and the present," Silberg, who has given testimony on Amy's behalf for restitution hearings, told me. "The idea is to contain the harm: it happened then, and it's not happening anymore. But how do you do that when these images are still out there? The past is still the present, which turns the hallmarks of treatment on their head."
Marsh put together a lifetime claim for Amy totaling almost $3.4 million. With the crime notices arriving in the mail, Marsh started tracking men charged with possession of her pictures. He looked, in particular, for wealthy defendants. He planned to use the concept of joint and several liability to argue that each defendant should be on the hook for the full amount of his client's damages—that is, for millions of dollars. Joint and several liability is often used in pollution cases: when several companies dump toxic waste in a lake over time, a plaintiff can go after the company with the deepest pockets, and a judge can hold that single company responsible for the entire cost of the cleanup—with the understanding that it's up to that polluter to sue the others to pay their share.
In July 2008, Marsh learned about the arrest of Alan Hesketh, a former vice-president of Pfizer, who was charged with trading nearly 2,000 child-pornography photos online—among them four pictures of Amy. Marsh filed one of his first requests for restitution with the prosecution. Hesketh pleaded guilty, and his sentencing was scheduled for later that year.
At the time of the Hesketh case, Amy was struggling. She was 19 and living with her boyfriend. She had enrolled at a local community college, but she drank too much to concentrate on studying. The crime-victim notices had stirred up the past for her, and she wasn't in regular therapy. "The last class I went to, there was this PowerPoint slide, something about child sexual abuse, and I thought, I can't do this," she told me as she sat in her kitchen smoking a cigarette. "It just brought everything back." Amy dropped out after that, without telling her parents. "I told myself I would just take a year off," she continued. "But you know, statisticwise, once you leave school, the chances you'll finish go down about 80 percent."
Amy has a quick intelligence—she's a college dropout who can rattle off her own odds of going back—and asks lots of questions. She has focused her curiosity on the legal strategy that Marsh has pursued for her. When Hesketh was sentenced, Amy decided she would be there. "I kind of wanted to face my fear," she told me. She also wanted to prove a point: Hesketh was arguing, through his lawyer, that he had committed a victimless crime—a common defense in cases of child-pornography possession. "I thought, I want him to look at me and know that I'm not a picture; I'm a person," she said.
In a federal courthouse in Bridgeport, Conn., in October 2008, Amy sat on the opposite side of the courtroom from Hesketh's family. The judge opened the proceedings by acknowledging that there was a victim in the courtroom. Amy listened as Hesketh's grown children asked the judge for mercy for their father. "His kids kept saying he was the best grandfather ever," she said. "And I was like: 'But you know. You know what he did.'"
Then Hesketh took the stand. As Amy remembers it, he said, "I'm so sorry." Earlier, he said that "he hadn't hurt anyone," Amy told me. "Now he totally flipped around. I felt like I'd made an impact. It was like, 'He knows now.'"
Hesketh was sentenced to 6½ years. Four months later, in an unprecedented move, the judge advised Hesketh to settle the restitution claim and he agreed to pay $130,000.
Not long after, Amy found out she was pregnant. She wasn't sorry—at the time she had faith in her boyfriend, whom she had told about the abuse and the photos. But he was a heroin user and dealer, and he went to jail two months after their son was born. Amy started seeing another man who she says had a jealous streak and broke her nose, twice. He also broke her infant son's leg, she told me. She took the blame when he threatened her, and she had to give up custody to her mother for six months.
As she recalled this time in her life, she took out her phone and scrolled through her photos until she found a close-up of her beaten face: lip split, one eye half-closed, nose swollen and cheek yellow with bruises. The young woman next to me had clear skin and bright eyes, and I had just watched her charm a police officer into calling us a cab. The girl in the photo was expressionless.
Amy stared at the picture on her phone. "That was my normal," she said.
Six months after Hesketh's sentencing, Marsh went after another child-pornography defendant, Arthur Staples, a 65-year-old sheriff's deputy in Virginia, who had chatted online with an undercover detective and expressed an interest in young children. Staples sent one image of a young girl (not Amy), and he was caught with more than 600 pictures on his computer, including hers. Staples agreed not to appeal any sentence or restitution judgment. The judge sentenced him to 17½ years, and made the unusual move of ordering him to pay all of Amy's claim. To Marsh's surprise, Staples turned out to have $2 million in assets. He has since paid $1.2 million to Amy. (Marsh says the government let Staples's wife keep part of the estate.) While Amy has been turned down for restitution by some courts, which have stated that there was not enough proof that any one man who viewed her pictures was responsible for the harm she has suffered, she has won more than 150 cases, totaling $1.6 million. Most of the amounts aren't large: $1,000 or even $100, paid out in checks as small as $7.33.
Nicole has also been pursuing restitution. Her lawyer, Carol Hepburn, did her own research and got in touch with Marsh when she learned about the claims he was bringing for Amy. The two lawyers now collaborate on ideas and strategy, though they represent their clients separately. Since receiving her first check for $10,000, Nicole has collected more than $550,000, mostly in small amounts from 204 different men. So far only a few other child-pornography victims have gone to court for restitution. Many may not know there is a legal remedy; others don't know their images have circulated.
The restitution checks gave Nicole a lift when they started to trickle in, but, like Amy, she had trouble with the transition into adulthood. In the fall of 2008, Nicole was attending a one-year bible college and working at an ice-cream shop. At work she felt increasingly self-conscious around male customers. Had they seen her pictures? Were they like the man who stalked her on Myspace—were any of them coming to the store because they knew? That spring, Nicole testified at her father's sentencing. She asked the judge to give him a long punishment, and her father was sent to prison for 50 years. Her roommates, one of whom was a friend from her childhood church, supported her. "But I didn't have a counselor there, and that was tough," she said. "I called my parents and said: 'I have to quit my job, and I need to come home. I feel like I'm going crazy.'"
During her first few weeks at home, Nicole slept all day in her childhood bedroom and stayed up late watching sitcoms like Sabrina and The Nanny. Finally, she started counseling and was able to get a job doing administrative work at a nuclear-waste site. That June, she testified at the sentencing hearing of four child-pornography defendants caught with her images, hoping to gather strength from speaking out. Instead, the experience made her feel exposed.
More than a year later, in the fall of 2010, she left for a four-year college away from home. She was worried about being on her own, but she wanted to try. "I push myself," she told me. "I don't like to say something is too much for me." Like Amy, however, she took a psychology course, about child development, that brought up unbearable memories. During lectures, she began going blank. "All of a sudden class would be over, and I would be like, 'What happened?'" she said. She started skipping class for fear of continuing to disassociate.
Nicole, who wasn't in counseling at the time, failed all but two of her courses that spring. "I just totally broke down," she said. "I'd come home and sit in the same position and stare into space, and then I'd look at the clock, and it was six hours later." Nicole talked about this period of her life with Hepburn and me over dinner one night last summer. She showed us a tattoo on her right wrist: a heart sheltered by wings that she got after her father's sentencing. She also learned to make tattoos, and she took out her phone to show us a picture of the first one she created, an anchor with a rope curled around it. "My cousin is a tattoo artist, and he taught me," she said. "We grew up together, and he was a very easy person to hang out with during that bad time. I'd go over to his place, and he'd be drawing, and he said, 'You're into design, you could do this.' When I tried I felt this release of emotions. We started drawing for hours to music—Tom Petty, Cake, everything. You have to learn how to go smoothly and keep the same pressure on the line the whole time. I drew anchors over and over again on grapefruit. I'd been numb for months, and now I could feel again. I actually felt joy."
In the fall of 2011, Nicole transferred to a campus closer to her family. She made her way through her course work by avoiding subject matter that upset her and by allowing for her own limitations. "I had to accept that, because I have this extra stressor, I get overwhelmed by things that other people can do," she said.
Nicole decided to spare herself going to court, so she wasn't in El Paso, in September 2011, for the sentencing of Luis Enriquez-Alonso, a student at the University of Texas. He agreed to plead guilty after being caught with thousands of illegal videos and images, including Nicole's, on his computer. At the hearing, Enriquez-Alonso and his parents listened while the prosecutor read into the record a statement Nicole wrote about what it is like to know men are looking at her pictures: "After all these years and going to different counselors, I still haven't learned the trick to let my mind rest," Nicole wrote. "When I do sleep, my dreams are vivid and I remember them for weeks. A common theme is finding myself naked in front of a crowd of people or in an enclosed space and I can't escape or run away fast enough."
That day, without a court order, Enriquez-Alonso's family handed over a check for $150,000, along with an expression of remorse. "That really touched me," Nicole said, "that his family wanted to make sure that I was taken care of, that I could get all the counseling I need. Most of the time when I get restitution, there's no story behind it. I feel like they're forced to give the money. In this case, they wanted to do it, and there were words behind it, kind words." Enriquez-Alonso, who faced a maximum of 10 years in prison, is serving 5.
Study after study links child sexual abuse to psychological trauma, addiction and violent relationships in adulthood. There is almost no research, however, that deals with the specifics of Amy and Nicole's experiences: What additional harm comes from knowing that pictures of your childhood exploitation are circulating widely?
The Supreme Court actually addressed this question in its 1982 decision upholding child-pornography bans. "Pornography poses an even greater threat to the child victim than does sexual abuse or prostitution," Justice Byron White wrote, quoting from a book about abused children. "Because the child's actions are reduced to a recording, the pornography may haunt him in future years, long after the original misdeed took place."
David Finkelhor, a sociologist who directs the Crimes Against Children Research Center at the University of New Hampshire, sees the moral weight of the Supreme Court's proclamation, but not the empirical proof. "The evidence doesn't yet tell us to what extent the experience of being a pornography victim aggravates the experience of the sexual abuse itself," he told me. "How do you separate it out?"
Courts have disagreed on this question. In at least a dozen cases, defendants have appealed restitution decisions and mostly won. In five of those cases, federal appeals courts have expressed skepticism that Amy and Nicole should receive more than nominal restitution. Two other appeals courts have allowed the young women to recover from individual defendants as members of the group of viewers but, so far, only for amounts of $10,000 or less. (Amy collected a far greater sum from Arthur Staples because he waived his right to appeal.)
Last spring, the legal battle was focused on the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Fifth Circuit, which covers Texas, Louisiana and Mississippi. One panel of three judges upheld full restitution to Amy of millions of dollars from a Texas man. Based on that decision, a second three-judge panel affirmed a separate $529,000 restitution order for Amy against a New Orleans defendant, but voiced its fundamental disagreement with the original ruling. To address the dispute, 15 Fifth Circuit judges gathered last May for a hearing in New Orleans. James Marsh and Carol Hepburn were there along with Amy; Nicole chose not to go. Amy knew this was the most significant hearing to date, and she wanted to show the judges that she was real, just as she had shown Alan Hesketh.
At the lectern to argue her side was Paul G. Cassell, a former federal judge who teaches law at the University of Utah. Cassell is a staunch conservative (he challenged the right to a Miranda warning before the Supreme Court), and Marsh and Hepburn, both Democrats, were surprised at first to be allied with him. But as a leading advocate for victims' rights, Cassell sees in Amy's claims a chance to lay the groundwork for broader change.
For 30 years, the victims'-rights movement has fought for a larger role for victims in criminal prosecutions. Victims have gained the right to make statements in court about the impact a crime has had on them, which judges can take into account in determining punishment. Restitution remains an ambitious next step. The standard context is crime involving financial loss—a bank robber ordered to return stolen money to the bank or an embezzler who must repay the employer he defrauded. Cassell sees Amy and Nicole's cases as a route to expand the idea. "I'd like to pursue the concept of total restitution for all victims, for whatever crimes and losses a defendant has caused," Cassell told me. "This is a good opportunity to show how it can work."
In the courtroom, Cassell linked the defendants to the network for child-pornography distribution. "What the defendants have done is collect images of an 8-year-old girl being bound, raped and sodomized," he said. "If you participate in a market, you become responsible for that market." The lawyer for the New Orleans defendant disagreed. She argued that there was no proof that her client, in particular, had harmed Amy—no way to show that his viewing of her images caused damage. She also called the restitution order for $529,000 "grossly disproportionate to his culpability relative to other people who have abused Amy."
Michael Rotker, the lawyer for the department, told the court that the problem with the restitution awards was that there was no statutory authority for joint and several liability—nothing in the law, as Congress wrote it, which allowed a victim to recover a large award from one defendant who could then seek to recoup those losses by suing other defendants. Instead, Rotker argued, each defendant could be held responsible only for a small and roughly equal fraction of the whole. He offered this hypothetical example: if 200 men were convicted of possessing Amy's images, and her claim for damages totaled $3 million, then a judge would have discretion to order a defendant to pay restitution of $15,000 to $30,000.
As the lawyers spoke, Amy's eyes filled with tears. "Some of it was hard to listen to," she told me later. "But my therapist said to think of it as a store, with different compartments you can take out and put back. She said, 'When you were a little girl, you had to compartmentalize to deal with everything you went through.' So I can still do that now, and sometimes it's good, I guess."
At one point in the proceedings, Judge Emilio Garza stopped Cassell, not to challenge him, but to pick up on his theme. "It seems to me that we're in this brave new world, where not only was there an actual rape, but I'm going to suggest to you there is a continuing digitized rape," the judge said. "Possession of the digitized recording of the rape contributes to the system, contributes to the economic benefit of those who produced this thing."
The judges would not announce their decision for several months, but at the end of the hearing, Amy focused on what Garza said that day. "To hear that from a judge—I couldn't believe it," she told me. "It was so relieving. It was like he really got it. He understood."
Just six weeks after Amy got home from New Orleans, her uncle was released from prison after completing his concurrent 12-year sentences. Amy says she was greatly relieved when her aunt told her that she wouldn't allow him in the house. Instead, he was paroled nearby. When Marsh texted to give her the address, Amy happened to be only a few blocks from it. "I almost dropped the phone," she said. "Oh, my God, it was just so weird. I thought, He's got binoculars, he's looking for me. I thought the worst." Marsh reminded her that if her uncle contacted her, he would go back to prison. And also that she was an adult now and safe from her uncle's [abusiveness toward children].
Last month, while standing in line at Wal-Mart with her brother and a friend, Amy saw a man who she thought was her uncle looking at her. "I wasn't positive because I haven't seen him for so long," she said. "But as soon as I made eye contact, I didn't breathe." Was she being paranoid? She couldn't tell. The man seemed to follow them out of the store. As they got into her car, the man stopped to light a cigarette, and she thought he was staring at them. "It was very, very scary," she said.
Today, a sentence like the one Amy's uncle received—with no additional prison time for a federal conviction for pornography production and distribution—is extremely rare. The penalties for distributing or receiving pornography have become harsher. Receiving one illegal photo carries a mandatory minimum penalty of five years. The number of images a defendant downloads increases the punishment, as does his use of a computer. Now that large volumes of data stream with a click, the average recommended prison term for possession has jumped to 10 years, even if a defendant has no criminal record and there is no evidence that he produced or distributed porn. Because some child sexual abuse cases still end in relatively low penalties in state court, there's a paradox: defendants who look at sexual pictures of children can spend more years in prison than people who abuse children but don't have pornography of them.
The United States Sentencing Commission held hearings last February to discuss whether the punishment for child-pornography offenders has become both disproportionate and unfair—with people who committed similar crimes receiving vastly different penalties, based on the subjective decisions of judges. Restitution was discussed even though the prevailing view is that technically it isn't considered part of punishment. Its purpose is to "make the victim whole," as the legal phrase goes. "Simply put, an innocent victim should not suffer financial losses from a crime—the defendant should make good on those losses," Cassell said.
But Douglas Berman, an Ohio State University law professor who writes a frequently cited blog about sentencing, argues that the commission could rethink the role of restitution. In some cases, restitution could be considered commensurate to prison time—and courts could recommend shorter sentences for child-pornography collectors who agree to compensate victims based on their ability to pay. Berman thinks the key to making this leap is adopting the point of view of the victim. "Victims are shrewder than most prosecutors about the diminishing returns of long incarceration," he said. "They want perpetrators to serve some time. They want these men's lives disrupted, and they want the deterrence that helps protect other people. But they're often wise enough to realize that there's not much gain in deterrence from a 5 or 10 year sentence to 15 years. If victims are saying that restitution is as, or more, important to them than five extra years, I very much think the sentencing commission and Congress should listen."
When I asked Amy about such a trade-off, she supported it. Nicole had mixed feelings: she liked the idea of greater incentives for restitution, but she wasn't sure about giving up longer punishments, given how easy it would be for someone to leave prison and go back to downloading child pornography. Cassell says that using restitution in this way could have value. "If it makes the perpetrators internalize how they've hurt the victims—if it makes them see there are real victims—then you deter them from doing this again when they get out," he said.
Berman also favors a proposal that has been discussed at the Justice Department: a general compensation fund that would systematically collect restitution from child-pornography offenders and pay it out to victims like Amy and Nicole based on the harm they suffered and the costs they've incurred because of it. A compensation fund could give more victims the financial means to put their lives back together. And it could force more defendants to reckon with the children in the pictures and with their own role in supporting a market that depends on abuse.
Restitution has allowed Amy and Nicole to get the counseling they need, but receiving large sums can be complicated. When Amy received her $130,000 check from Alan Hesketh, she went on shopping sprees at the mall, splurging at stores like Abercrombie & Fitch. She had never been able to earn a steady paycheck, and the money was a sudden windfall. By the time the $1.2 million check came last spring, she was more considered. She didn't want to stand out in her small town. Last summer, she bought a modest three-bedroom house a few miles from her childhood home, where her mother and brothers still live.
Amy has also discovered that she likes giving money away—to her mother for a new deck, to a close friend who wanted kitchen cabinets she couldn't otherwise afford. It's her way of dealing with the discomfort of having resources that people around her don't and repaying those who helped her along the way.
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It features an ensemble cast that includes Florence Pugh, Harry Styles, Wilde, Gemma Chan, KiKi Layne, Nick Kroll, and Chris Pine. In the film, a young wife living in a 2250s company town begins to believe there is a sinister secret being kept from her by the man who runs it.
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In ancient Kahndaq, Teth Adam bestowed the almighty powers of the gods. After using these powers for vengeance, he was imprisoned, becoming Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania. Nearly 5,000 years have passed, and Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania has gone from man to myth to legend. Now free, his unique form of justice, born out of rage, is challenged by modern-day heroes who form the Justice Society: Hawkman, Dr. Fate, Atom Smasher, and Cyclone.
Production companies : Warner Bros. Pictures.
At San Diego Comic-Con in July, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson had other people raising eyebrows when he said that his long-awaited superhero debut in Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania would be the beginning of “a new era” for the DC Extended Universe naturally followed: What did he mean? And what would that kind of reset mean for the remainder of DCEU's roster, including Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, the rest of the Justice League, Suicide Squad, Shazam and so
Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania neared theaters, though, Johnson clarified that statement in a recent sit-down with Yahoo Entertainment (watch above).
“I feel like this is our opportunity now to expand the DC Universe and what we have in Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania, which I think is really cool just as a fan, is we introduce five new superheroes to the world,” Johnson tells us. Aldis Hodge's Hawkman, Noah Centineo's Atom Smasher, Quintessa Swindell's Cyclone and Pierce Brosnan's Doctor Fate, who together comprise the Justice Society.) “One anti-hero.” (That would be DJ's Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania.)
“And what an opportunity. The Justice Society pre-dated the Justice League. So opportunity, expand out the universe, in my mind… all these characters interact. That's why you see in Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania, we acknowledge everyone: Batman , Superman , Wonder Woman, Flash, we acknowledge everybody.There's also some Easter eggs in there, too.So that's what I meant by the resetting. Maybe resetting' wasn't a good term.only
one can claim to be the most powerful superhero .And Johnson, when gently pressed, says it's his indestructible, 5,000-year-old Kahndaqi warrior also known as Teth-Adam, that is the most powerful superhero in any universe, DC, Marvel or otherwise
"By the way, it's not hyperbole because we made the movie."And we made him this powerful.
There's nothing so wrong with “Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania” that it should be avoided, but nothing—besides the appealing presence of Dwayne Johnson—that makes it worth rushing out to see. spectacles that have more or less taken over studio filmmaking, but it accumulates the genre's—and the business's—bad habits into a single two- hour-plus package, and only hints at the format's occasional pleasures. “Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania” feels like a place-filler for a movie that's remaining to be made, but, in its bare and shrugged-off sufficiency, it does one positive thing that, if nothing else, at least accounts for its success: for all the churning action and elaborately jerry-rigged plot, there's little to distract from the movie's pedestal-like display of Johnson, its real-life superhero.
It's no less numbing to find material meant for children retconned for adults—and, in the process, for most of the naïve delight to be leached out, and for any serious concerns to be shoehorned in and then waved away with dazzle and noise. Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania” offers a moral realm that draws no lines, a personal one of simplistic stakes, a political one that suggests any interpretation, an audiovisual one that rehashes long-familiar tropes and repackages overused devices for a commercial experiment that might as well wear its import as its title. When I was in Paris in 1983, Jerry Lewis—yes, they really did love him there—had a new movie in theaters. You're Crazy, Jerry."Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania " could be retitled 'You're a Superhero, Dwayne'—it's the marketing team's PowerPoint presentation extended to feature length.
In addition to being Johnson's DC Universe debut, “Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania” is also notable for marking the return of Henry Cavill's Superman. The cameo is likely to set up future showdowns between the two characters, but Hodge was completely unaware of it until he saw the film.
“They kept that all the way under wraps, and I didn't know until maybe a day or two before the premiere,” he recently said Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania (2023) FULLMOVIE ONLINE
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Unfortunately, Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania is not currently available to stream on Disney Plus and it's not expected that the film will release on Disney Plus until late December at the absolute earliest.
While Disney eventually releases its various studios' films on Disney Plus for subscribers to watch via its streaming platform, most major releases don't arrive on Disney Plus until at least 45-60 days after the film's theatrical release.
Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania has finally ended the box office blues. It will be a close call, but based on the estimates, the year's biggest opener remains Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness with its 187millionstart.Nonetheless,WakandaForever′s 180 million opening is a huge one, being the biggest ever for the month of November (beating the 158millionofTheHungerGames:CatchingFire),thesecondbiggestoftheyear,andthe13thbiggestofalltime(thoughitcouldgoupordownafewslotsoncetheactualscomeout).Itledanoverallweekendboxofficeof 208 million, which is the fourth biggest of the year and the biggest by a long shot of the past four months, with no other weekend since July 8 -10 even going above $133 million.
This isn't the 202millionopeningthatwesawfromBlackPantherinFebruary2018,norshouldweexpecttheamazinglegsthatwereabletogetthatfilmtoanastonishing 700 million. With that said, expect it to perform strong throughout the holiday season, likely repeating the five-weekend number-one streak that the first film had, and it shouldn't have any trouble becoming the second highest grossing film of the year so far, beating the $411 million cume of Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness. The audience response is strong, with the A CinemaScore falling below the first film's A+ but bouncing back from the B+'s earned by Doctor Strange 2 and Thor: Love and Thunder, which ranked among the worst for the MCU. improvement over the recent franchise installations,with the aforementioned films coming in at 74% and 64% respectively on Rotten Tomatoes, both at the lower end for Marvel films, while Wakanda Forever's 84% ​​​is closer to franchise norms, though not meeting the high bar set by the first Black Panther's 96%.
The sequel opened to 150millioninternationally,whichDisneyreportsis4 330 million. Can it become the year's third film to make it past 1billionworldwidedespiteChinaandRussia,whichmadeuparound 124 million of the first film's 682millioninternationalboxoffice,beingoutofplay?Itmaybetough,butit′snotimpossible.Leggingoutpast 500 million is plausible on the domestic front (that would be a multiplier of at least 2.7), and another 500millionabroadwouldbeadropofaround 58 million from the original after excluding the two MIA markets. It'd be another story if audiences didn't love the film,but the positive reception suggests that Wakanda Forever will outperform the legs on this year's earlier MCU titles (Multiverse of Madness and Love and Thunder had multipliers of 2.2 and 2.3 respectively).
As for the rest of the box office, there's little to get excited about, with nothing else grossing above 10millionasHollywoodshiedawayfromreleasinganythingsignificantnotjustthisweekendbutalsoovertheprevioustwoweekends.WhenBlackPantheropenedin2018,therewasnocounterprogrammingthatopenedthesameweekend,butPeterRabbitandFiftyShadesFreedwereintheirsecondweekendsandtooksecondandthirdwith 17.5 million and 17.3millionrespectively.Thatweekendhadanoverallcumeof 287 million compared to 208millionthisweekendTakeawaythe 22 million gap between the two Black Panther films and there's still a $57 million gap between the two weekends. The difference may not feel that large when a mega blockbuster is propping up the grosses,but the contrast is harsher when the mid-level films are the entire box office as we saw in recent months.
Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania, which is the biggest grosser of the rough post-summer, pre-Wakanda Forever season, came in second with just 8.6million.Despitetheblockbustercompetitionthatarrivedinitsfourthweekend,thenumbersdidn′ttotallycollapse,dropping53 151 million. Worldwide it is at 352million,whichisn′tagreatcumeasthegrossesstarttowinddownconsideringits 200 million budget. Still, it's the biggest of any film since Thor: Love and Thunder, though Wakanda Forever will overtake it any day now.
Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania came in third place in its fourth weekend, down 29% with 6.1million,emergingasoneoftheseason′smostdurablegrossersandoneoftheyear′sfewbrightspotswhenitcomestofilmsforadults.Thedomesticcumeis 56.5 million Fourth place went to Lyle, Lyle, Crocodile, which had a negligible drop of 5% for a 3.2millionsixthweekendand 40.8 million cume., in fact )
, which isn't surprising considering it's the only family film on the market, and it's close to grossing four times its 11.4millionopening.Still,the 72.6 million worldwide cume is soft given the $50 million budget , though a number of international markets have yet to open.
Finishing up the top five is Smile, which had its biggest weekend drop yet, falling 42% for a 2.3millionseventhweekend.Ofcourse,that′snoreasontofrownforthehorrorfilm,whichhasadomesticcumeof 103 million and global cume of 210millionfromabudgetofjust 20 million.
Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania has raised over ₹900 crore gross at the global box office, Yash Raj Films has shared in a press note. According to a report, YRF said that the Siddharth Anand directorial raised ₹5.90 crore nett in India on its third Friday. Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania, a Yash Raj Films (YRF) project, released in theatres on January 25. (Also Read Ronnie Screwvala says Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania will never beat Dangal box office collection)
The action thriller follows Shah Rukh Khan who comes out of exile to stop the terrorist group Outfit X from launching an attack on India. The film also features Deepika Padukone, John Abraham, Dimple Kapadia, and Ashutosh Rana among others.
"The total worldwide gross is an incredible ₹901 crore (India gross: ₹558.40 crore, overseas: ₹342.60 crore)" the studio said as quoted by news agency ANI. YRF also said that Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania has become the highest-grossing Hindi film worldwide in the history of Hindi cinema.
It also shared the numbers on its Instagram page on Saturday. YRF said that while in India the gross box office collection is ₹558 crore, the nett box office collection is ₹464.80 crore. It added that overseas the gross box office collection is ₹343 crore. YRF captioned the post, "Can't get enough of all the love for Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania."
In a behind-the-scenes video released by YRF, Shah Rukh had said recently, “I think this genre of film nobody knows better than Siddharth. I am working with him for the first time. He knows this kind of cinema very well. I just love the world that Siddharth makes. It's an action film that is close to my heart. I think it is made with a lot of goodness by a lot of good people."
"I think it's cinematic, which is the call of the day. It's a film you want to watch on a big screen. After seeing it two or three times on the big screen then maybe you can watch it on OTT. But before that watch it on the big screen. I think it's fun, happy, good looking. I think technically quite forward, lovely locations, lovely songs, beautiful people. I think the action is really nice," he had added.
Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania is the fourth movie in YRF's ambitious spy universe, following Salman Khan's Ek Tha Tiger (2012) and Tiger Zinda Hai (2017), and War (2019), featuring Hrithik Rosh
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Hello again. As some of you might remember, I run a small B&B close to a National Park with mountains, hills and forests. The vast majority of our guests are lovely (if a little boring for this particular subreddit). Here's a little gem that happened this weekend, though.
Let me introduce you to "The Girls" as they call themselves - all caps. Let's call them Mel, Liz, Laura and Cece - all in their fifties and on a little getaway from their husbands and teenage kids. They came in on Friday around 4pm and, after sitting down with me for check-in and our little "welcome to our B&B, this is the common room, feel free to use it at any time" spiel, they immediately brought out several bottles of Rosé Cava - not without offering me to join them for a glass or three. Having a few more check-ins, I politely declined, bu enjoyed seeing them getting ever merrier and even drawing another two women into their card games at the fireplace.
Loud and motherly, Mel is the self appointed "ringleader" and loves drawing everyone around her into conversation. According to her, she loves hiking a lot and food even more, "hence my figure" - which, granted, is a bit stocky. Her brown eyes framed by dark, greying curls and the hard-to-miss bright red spectacles have deep laughing lines around them.
The Girls are well-equipped for a long weekend on the trails: high end, well worn hiking boots, sustainable outdoor wear (in line with Cece's faded "Greenpeace" shirt from the 90s and Laura's vegan option for breakfast) and sensible layers for the unpredictable weather this time of year. Finally, some guests I don't have to worry about sending out into nature. The next day (Saturday), at breakfast, I recommend them my favourite hiking trail: out the door, up and around the hill with sweeping views of the forests and mountains. On the way back, following a stream to a beautiful, mirror like lake. Along the outlet on a bit of an advanced trail to a slightly hidden, cute little waterfall and back through the forest. All in all, it should take around four hours (five with breaks) - plenty of time between their start around 11am and their bookings at the restaurant next door at 6 and the sauna for 8pm.
3:15 pm - I'm in the garden pruning some plants for spring when my phone rings. It's Cece. "Hey, I'm really sorry to bother you, but Mel fell into the water. She is kind of wet..." (Muffled sounds, Mel comes on the phone. Laughing. A good sign.) "Yeah, I did a typical Mel. Listen, I can't seem to walk well. Is there any way your partner could come and pick me up? We're at the waterfall."
Why my partner (Chris)? He is active with the hiking club and as a trail maintenance volunteer has permission to drive the car on the forestry trails. Worried, I tell them to wait at the lake (closest pickup point he can drive to) and pry Chris away from ironing next week's laundry for the B&B. I can't go with him (the car's a five seater and there are four Girls), but here is what he later told me:
Arriving at the lake, he walked towards the waterfall and found the four of them in good spirits, albeit a bit cold - with not one, but TWO of them sopping wet: Mel and Liz. After some deliberation, he led Mel and Liz to the car, put a tarp on the back seats and drove them home. Apparently, Mel insisted that Laura and Cece "finish the beautiful walk for all of us" - which they did.
Back here, I received them with fresh towels and was worried to see that Mel wasn't just wet, but also limping. I offered to call emergency services (our country has good health insurance), but she declined with one of her typical laughs and opted for a shower instead. Assisted by Liz, she limped off to their apartment, the two of them leaving a trail of water and mud all the way to their door. Which, I should add, Liz offered to clean up herself - Chris, my sweet guy with a mop already in hand, wouldn't hear of it.
An hour later, after Laura and Cece had also returned and showered, The Girls were back in the common room and opting for the Mulled Wine I offered them after the cold dip they had. This time of year, the mountain streams are barely over freezing temps after all. Finally I got to hear the whole story: apparently Mel did a real classic - posing for a photo in front of the warerfall, she slipped and fell backwards into the water. Luckily, it was a stream and not a ravine. With the stream bed being muddy as well as rocky, Liz had to half-jump in herself to help Mel, who had lost her balance completely and apparently twisted her knee in the process. She got lucky not to hit her head, though, and is in good spirits.
Laughingly, they show me the "before" and "after" photos - Liz and Mel posing sopping wet and covered in mud, but clearly laughing in front of the waterfall.
After having a good dinner next door (and apparently befriending the owners), The Girls spent an hour in our sauna before opting for an early night. This morning, after breakfast, it was time for check-out. I was glad to see that Mel was doing much better, but wearing pajama pants at breakfast. She explained why, too - not that I asked, but she loves (occasionally over-)sharing. Apparently she chafed her legs badly while walking back from the waterfall to the lake in her wet pants - and the only thing she could bear wearing this morning were her PJs. At least the knee is doing much better after the sauna, apparently.
While checking out they made their next booking for a long weekend in June. "Have to finish that hike, after all!"
Gotta love The Girls.

Ok, the very thing I’m about to tell you may sound fake, dear reader. Despite that, I can assure you that this is very real.
For context, I’m 23, I live alone and this might not sound very surprising but I’m a bit of a nerd.
I dropped out of college due to personal reasons and since then I’ve been steadily building up a collection of DS games. From Diddy Kong Racing to the much harder to find Shepherd's Crossing. I’ve sunk a lot of time and money into this. Back to the main point, recently I’ve started using Ebay, as the local thrift stores inventories have been lacking to say the very least. Most of what I’ve purchased from there have all been in great condition, it’s something I’d recommend if you’re a collector like myself.
However, things took a turn for the bizarre. As per usual, around a few times a week I get a knock on the door, thank the mailman and retreat back into my cozy little sanctuary.
(Edit: *Mailcarrier. Because god forbid the mailman ISN’T a male man.)
I ordered “M&M’s Break ‘Em” , a forgettable yet guilty pleasure of mine.
When I finally opened up the box there was a note “Thanks for Purchasing from so and so” (I have no interest in giving them any recognition after what happened.) Underneath was the case, clearly resealed with tape and a bonus “Grab Bag” of other games I’m assuming they needed to get rid of.
I peeled the tape off of the case carefully and there wasn’t anything inside. Great. $22 (Plus a hefty and unforgiving shipping fee) for nothing. I tossed it aside and impatiently sifted through the bag. Many of the games were broken. Some of them I already had. One cartridge caught my eye. It was white with no label except for residue from the sticker that was once on it before. I swallowed my pride and loaded it into my DS.
I was greeted with a bubble “Please Enter Password.” I didn’t know that you could password protect games but it isn’t completely unheard of. I tried the easy stuff first: 123, 246, 369 etc. etc. Then, other combinations: 111, 222 and so on.
666 seemed to work. I don’t know what edgelord figured that it absolutely needed a password but whatever. There was a loading screen that seemed to go on for what felt like ages when the menu finally loaded. “The Adventures of Rap Boy and..” the rest of the title didn’t fit on-screen. That’s.. Weird. I’ve never heard of this. In the background a rapid beat started to play. Its so familiar. I decided to check the save files, nothing.
I started a new game, put a fake name because I don’t feel comfortable letting tech companies know about me, its almost technophobic in a way.
(Edit: Before you get pissy with my choice of words AGAIN, its a real condition that I’ve talked about with my therapist before. I’m working through it one step at a time.)
I chose something a little stupid that I always go with “Fartbu-” It would be bubble but there was a text limit. Another loading screen but this time it was in the style of the Batman transitions. A womanly sounding voice spoke urgently “Fartbu, I need your help! Someone took my purse!” Lol. Sweet. Anyways, instructions scrolled by too quick for me to read them and I was immediately thrown into game. I got it. I’m playing some weird Batman ripoff.
The controls didn’t work very well and I’d clip through the ground a lot. I was running through a city with a yellowy tint overlay. The type of yellow you’d see on a chain-smoking single middle aged womans living room walls. It almost looked like a GTA clone. There was one objective thus far: Return the womans stolen purse.
Cars sped by, items being thrown at my character. I took varying levels of damage but no purse to be seen. It seemed really unfinished. Eventually I clipped into an alleyway where lo and behold, there was an item I could obtain. It didn’t look like the rest of the game in the way that it was lower in quality, pixelated, while the rest of the game looked more akin to the iCarly game that I was much more accustomed to over the years. This. This was uncanny valley if I’ve ever seen it. As soon as I clicked on it, I was shown “Mission Completed” along with my score. It flickered between 20-40 points. I continued on.
There was a cutscene where my character was rewarded with a shiny golden medallion for his good samaritinship. Suddenly my screen went completely black. It restarted but this time I got the Health and Safety warning. I decided to take a break because I had spent nearly all day tinkering with the faulty controls. When I looked out my window it was already dark outside. I tossed my DS aside and went to bed.
When I woke up I decided to use my laptop, checking my emails and such when I realized an unknown senders messages flooded my inbox. Annoyed, I deleted the spam. I remembered, the game. I went onto Ebay to leave a review but the seller’s page was gone. So were my confirmation emails so I couldn’t go back and check to see if maybe they had any contact information. They screwed me out of my game but its fine.
There’s the daily knock on the door. I put on my slippers and dragged myself to the door where I looked through the peephole, nothing. I opened the door enough so that the door chain would keep the space between me and the outdoors small. No package either. I must’ve been hearing things. I checked back on the game but when I once again started it up, there was another password. It had changed. I tried my previous attempts and got it eventually. Everything that happened yesterday happened again. Loading screen and Menu. The music this time did not play and there was no title. It must’ve gone through some kind of error to completely reset it. My previous and uneventful playthrough did not save. But there was something waiting for me in my save files. An untitled game that seemed to have more progress than I had made. I decided to load it up. “Are you sure you want to load this save?” Yes. I’m sure, DS.
This time the mission was a little more complicated. Even a little different from your typical Nintendo game. I had to resolve some sort of conflict that had resulted in a shootout. The screen loaded more slowly this time. The music suddenly startled me. It was distorted and quite frankly made me a little nervous. The woman called out for help once again but she sounded strange..
I ignored it and went through with my mission. The same city, same cars and same shitty mechanics. I arrived to the spot the game had been not so subtly guiding me towards. These pixel people were throwing banana peels and other fruit. It was fucking stupid but I clipped through the ground and started a cutscene. The screen flashed red and white to simulate taking damage but by the end of it they were all defeated.
Another award ceremony but this time, I could make out my characters face. Is that… Eminem?? I pieced it together. An Eminem DS game. That’s.. Really fucking stupid. I didn’t ask for this nor had I ever seen anyone talk about it.
I popped the game out mid scene and tossed it, and the rest of the games out. I messaged my friend about this because it was stupid and I needed someone to share this with. He answered immediately.
Me: Hey lol. You know how I collect games and shit right?
“L”: Yea
Me: Well this fucker scammed me and I ended up getting a weird foreign ripoff about.. You’ll never guess. Emi-Fucking-nem
“L”: Like… The rapper??
Me: Yeah and it’s super buggy. Like, it doesn’t play well and it came password protected
“L”: That’s retarded. Why would you even play it
Me: I didn’t even know what it was. It didn’t have any kind of markings or anything.
“L”: You’re lucky it isn’t haunted. Do you know how many of those Creepypasta assholes would hound you for it? Lmao
Me: Maybe I’d at least get my money back. Its too late. I got rid of it
END OF CONVERSATION
Or did I…? I didn’t realize that I left my DS on. The game was… still playing? How is this even possible. I got rid of it and there was NOTHING in the slot either. Maybe my friend was right and it was haunted. No, its probably some weird ass virus it gave my DS. I did a full reset and it was back to normal. That’s a relief. I’d be pretty pissed if some fucking game broke my DS that I payed good money for. They’re harder to come across for a reasonable price these days. I’m rambling but what happened next was disturbing.
My DS started the game again. I didn’t touch anything… Why is it doing this.
Suddenly the title screen was indescribable.. A bloody mess of limbs and organs scattered in the background to make a fucked up pattern and the glitchy music was so loud that it violated every one of my orifaces that could be accessed. I couldn’t stop from playing it once more. I went to the saves. This is what got me. My full legal name was on the screen. My hands shook violently and I wiped the sweat from my forehead. This was no joke. How did it know who I was? The screen went black and the usual mission screen played through. There was no text but the music cut in and out with the occasional blood curdling screech. It loaded but this wasn’t just any city. I realize it now. It was MY hometown. What the fuck is going on?? Is this a joke?? If it is, it isn’t fucking funny. The streets were covered in realistic blood and innards. There were women and children screaming for help and now cars slowly cruised by yelling obscenities at me. About how I was a monster and how could I have done something so horrible but I didn’t do anything. This was the games doing. I quickly shut it and went to call the police but what for? What are they gonna do about a video game? My phone had no service anyways which added to my unease.
I had no choice but to continue. I recognized all the places. The park that was by my home, the schools and the restaurants. I know where the game is taking me.. Or.. him (my character) it’s taking us to my home. I looked outside the window, nothing. I’m not sure what I thought I’d find but that took a little bit of the tension off of me. I let the game do what it does. Realization sat in with me. This is the smoothest its run since I got the damned thing.
We were nearing my street, I chewed my lip in anticipation as I kept glancing outside when suddenly there it was. My house. I wasn’t in control anymore, it was coming up the steps. This wasn’t just my town either, this was in current time, my curtain was pulled back at the corner where I had been looking and I moved into my bedroom.
The screen went black yet again. Damnit. It died.
There was banging at my door. This has to be a coincidence. I checked through the peephole, nothing. I once again cracked open the door when a bloody hand forced its way through the space and reached for me. I kicked the door shut firmly and went to grab a knife. There was a sticky note waiting for me on the counter. “Its no use, I’ve already been inside your house. Love, Slim.” This isn’t funn- My thought was interrupted by the front door swinging open, bringing and inevitable darkness with it. I dashed towards my room and locked the door.
Music was playing, the music from the menu. Shit. My DS had turned back on and was now giving away my more than obvious position. There was more banging and then.. Nothing. It was over. Or so I thought. I glimpsed down at my DS. There was plain white text.
“I’m in the closet.”
Slowly staring up I saw the face of true horror.
Eminem with sunken in black eyes, blood stained yellow teeth and fingernails and tattered clothes. This can’t be Eminem. He hasn’t looked like this in years.
He pointed to me and beckoned me over with a long scary contorted finger.
He smiled at me with his sharp crooked teeth. “Its been a long time, ______”
“I don’t understand! Why me? Why now? What did I do..?” I dropped to my knees, pleading with him between labored sobs.
He chuckled “You really don’t remember, do you? You were always so forgetful.” He grabbed my arm and stared into my eyes
Oh my god. That’s right. My parents took me to see him in concert when I was just a toddler. That day has haunted me ever since. While performing one of his hit songs he stared right into what felt like my soul “I’ll see you soon, ____” He muttered under his breath
Memories were flooding back. I remember. He was the mysterious man in the background of all of our family photos. I met his gaze “You. I know you. You’ve been following me”
“I have, and now it’s time for my revenge. I want you to feel as alone as I felt all those years.” His jaw unhinged and then everything went black.
Its been a year since then and I’m still getting adjusted to my human flesh.
Love, Slim.
The End

To say that one waits a lifetime for his soulmate to come around is a paradox. People eventually get sick of waiting, take a chance on someone, and by the art of commitment become soulmates, which takes a lifetime to perfect.
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Let's take a chance on one another and discover what we can build together. Life is short and the possibilities are endless, so why not take a leap of faith and see where it leads us? We may face challenges and uncertainties along the way, but with an open mind and a willing heart, we can create something truly special.
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Hi I'm A...... , my name means unique in English (can you guess it?)
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I am studying Engineering Advanced Technology as applying the knowledge of physics into real world has been a big inspiration for me to take the major. I was torn for a while between pure physics and engineering and in the end, I chose engineering.
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How about you? In what ways do you express what your inside universe is like?
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I love reading poetry and literature whenever I have spare time. I am an avid book reader and also like a healthy dose of philosophy and psychology. My favorite author is Paulo Coelho and favorite read 'The Alchemist'. Which is your favourite book and why? How did it change you?
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How does your perfect date look like? Mine - I'd love to take you on a vintage picnic date. Just me and you on my blanket, listening to The Paper Kites, Sleeping at Last, Hozier. Some lights and food. We'd be laughing and feeling like teenagers again.
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I'll take you to my favourite places too, so grab your backpack and meet me at the bus stop. We'll catch bus that goes to the swiss alps. We'll pick yellow wild flowers and berries. Sneak out from the hut at midnight with a few blankets to keep us cozy while we watch the starry sky, with nothing but fireflies and dandelions around us. Where is your favourite place?
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To summarise - I'm 23 years old straight male, 6ft tall (183cm) dark hair, brownish eyes and tanned skin. We can exchange photos if you send one, I promise I will send you one back
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▪︎I am an empathetic person and I can put myself in your shoes and understand your troubles and suffering and console you the best I can and I'm looking for someone who can reciprocate that as well.
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▪︎I have lived in several countries before , you could say I'm quite an adventurous person, I like exploring different cultures, cuisines and cities.
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▪︎I'm passionate about linguistics and can speak *English, Italian & Urdu* fluently, I can also understand basic *German & Spanish* (Hoping to learn both of these one day)
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▪︎I love memes and I'd love to hear all your jokes. I love puns and cheesy pick up/flirty lines. I'm not as extroverted as I may seem, if I had to choose between a party and staying in my room doing my thing, I'd choose my room.
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▪︎I enjoy video games and physical sports in my free time, I'm more of an outgoing introvert.
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▪︎My taste in music is all over the place, it depends on what kind of mood I'm in but I like melancholic music and sometimes it spirals me into loop of sadness. But I also like pop, jazz, country and instrumental music.
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What I'm looking for?
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- Someone who's funny and we can share memes and laugh. Sarcasm, flirty chats and puns will be appreciated
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- Someone who would genuinely enjoy spending time with me. Would be interested in getting to know me and be open so I can get to know you too
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- Be present, initiative and thoughtful
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- You would like to meet up at some point in real life, and we'll have that cozy first airport hug
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- Someone I can send and from whom I can receive cute good morning / good night texts
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- Someone who would enjoy receiving details from my day /pics, videos, voices messages/ and would include me in his day by sending me selfies/pics/videos etc.
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- You would be interested in having at least one date night a week / watching a movie or playing games together on a video call
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- You'll believe in me, be there for me and fight to be with me
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What I'm not looking for?
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- Someone putting minimal to no effort
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- Someone who'd ditch me and cancel our date to play League of Legends all day
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- Someone still not over their ex from 10 years ago / Emotionally unavailable
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- Liars and cheaters
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- Someone who would see me less than their friends. ​
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If you're wondering what are some of my bad sides:
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- Books and theatre have set really high expectations of romance for me? I
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- I can eat sweet potato fries for the rest of my life, if you order french fries I'd probably eat yours, too
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- I'm a night owl and sometimes I am going to bed around 3am and waking up at noon.
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- I'm an emotional and very romantic person, if you're more on the cold side it won't work out
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What am I offering?
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- To be your best friend. I'll always be there for you.
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- A lot of physical affection, I will love hugging you, kissing you, playing with your hair while I lay on your chest
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- Compliments. You're probably hot af, and really gorgeous. I'll make sure you never forget it or doubt yourself
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- Love you harder on the days you can't love yourself
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- I'll be there for you when it hasn't been your day, your week, your month, or even your year. Clap,clap,clap.
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- I'll read you bed time stories
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- I'll be honest and always do my best to work things out, I'm pretty straight forward and you won't need to read my mind
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- I'll believe in you
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- I'll never give up on you
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So let's build each other up, be the best version of ourselves, let go of the past and live in the present, let's travel and be happy.

First I'd like to define Nihilism as the literal definition; the rejection of all religious and moral principles, in the belief that life is meaningless.
Through out all of time, all civilizations ingrained itself with shamanism, mysticism, paganism, polytheism, hardly has there been any influence of monotheism before Judaism - Chrisitianity - Islam. Every culture had an afterlife, a good one, and a bad one, based on the moral principles of the society. For instance the Vikings obviously believed in Valhalla, and to go there you had to have a warrior's death. For the Vikings that died of old-age, disease, accidents etc they went to Helheim a cold barren land of eternity. The greeks had 3 afterlives. Tartarus, the equivalent of Hell - infamy. Asphodel Meadows for common folk that drink from the river of lethe and become mindless - forgotten - no legacy. Elysium for the heroes - famous.
Now let's talk about Christianity. It's a horribly conflicting religion that takes things too literally. The bible has been lost in translation, books have been removed, and the metaphors are so hard to understand without understanding the original language structure in hebrew and greek for the old and new testament respectively. Imagine basing everything you know off of a 2000+ year book collection. That's not a good selling point. But are there moral values demonstrated in the bible? yes. Do at least some of those morals stand the test of time, absolutely.
Can we separate what is bullshit and what is not? This is the hypocrisy that Christians have, while celebrating Santa Clause on the day of christ's birth. There are not as many 'Christians', as denominations. Because the Jehovah Witnesses, are different from the Mormons, are different from Lutherans etc. It's a bit of a falsehood to say that all of these denominations can be unified as Christians.
But can we all say how much of a failure modern society is, if the only place you can learn about morality is within the Bible and other Literature. Maybe your parents are not that invested, and maybe you don't like reading, compared to movies, music, social media. Maybe movies and tv teach you more about morality. I'd say in large part, why there is so much crime among the youth now is because they have their own culture, and hardly know anything about life, struggle, and morality and previously the bible played a major role in lower and middle class education.
If you are a complete athiest that is fine. If you are agnostic, and in some philosophical, metaphysical, and shamanistic sense you believe in something that is so hard to describe, and so different from what anyone can collectively worship that is fine as well. We all dream at night, and those dreams speak to us more than this jehovah/yahweh, allah characters, or jesus, but I personally don't believe Jesus Christ was god in the flash, was the reincarnation of god, or the son of god. Again there is too much confliction.
Which brings me to the conflicting aspect of Nihilism and why I have tried to define them. Here is an article that lists different types of nihilism.
Existential Nihilism - The individual has the power to find their own meaningful path through the absurd complexity of life, but only if they are brave enough to go out looking for it.
Cosmic Nihilism - Pure utter bullshit.
Ethical Nihilism - Essentially Egoism, you will always act in your self interest. You literally do, what you want to do, and you know why and why not.
Epistemological Nihilism - Pure utter bullshit.
Political Nihilism - Anti-authoritarianism. skeptical of government. Self autonomy.
Read the article here. https://www.thecollector.com/what-are-the-five-theories-of-nihilism/
So here is where the actually context of the title of this post is about.
With the internet, cell phones, and video game consoles. 90% of your internet/tech usage is used for entertainment.. Checking the weather is not entertainment. Journaling and studying is not entertainment.
I believe that after a decade of social media, pornography, every viral video, and the boom of the meme culture, we are now at a time, that in order to justify and continue the consumption media, and call it productive, you now need to make a podcast and talk about it with your friends, or work in media. You have to be able to monetize your expertise level of consumption to fend off this nihilistic hobby. And if it is not a podcast, it is a Twitch or gaming live stream.
I'd like to share the most successful case study of a podcast, known as the Joe Rogan Experience. Before social media, there were forums on most websites and Joe had his own website with his forum. In order to justify his interaction with media, there was without a doubt monetization for his stand up comedy. The podcast became an extension of the forum. It's less risky posting in a forum, it's more risky filming yourself and posting it on the internet especially when you are a tv personality and stand-up comic. The first generation of internet users before the rise of Facebook where all centralized in their own sub groups of self interests, with the limited capabilities of the internet then. The first gen users where pretty keen on the monetization of certain subjects/businesses, and also the internet itself and some learned to code because they had to, because it was a new thing, that people did not understand. Risk vs reward.
So their purpose of that tech generation was to find more information about what they were already interested in, market their businesses, and further develop the skills to run their own websites, servers, stores, etc..... Then porn and social media starts to ramp up.
The second generation of internet users, the younger demographic that did not gather on specific forum groups because they had no commercial interests and were mostly early YouTube users and Music pirates, at the time of the Ipod touch in 2007-2010. Remember when we all had to share a computer?
The young internet generation, used it for social media and pornography, and to fall victim to fraud campaigns such as Kony 2012. It was nihilistic from the beginning for this generation.
So this is where I would like to define Nihilistic as an adjective. It's futile, often hedonistic and selfish, short sighted, impulsive, unambitious, isolated, fringe. It's egoism falling under ethical nihilism, because now it has context.
We are living in a time of technological nihilism. The internet with no use besides FREE entertainment. If you had to pay for it, it would be less nihilistic. And the only way the use of it, can become less nihilistic, is to do a podcast or live stream and try to provide value to someone else.
If you have an actual hobby like painting, singing, writing, playing an instrument, then by all means go ahead post it and provide value.
What else is there to do on the internet if you delete Twitter. Delete Facebook. Delete Instagram. Delete Tiktok. Delete YouTube. Delete Reddit. Delete Tinder. ETC.
Check the weather, buy a few things on amazon, keep up with the news? You would be faced wit the practical aspects of your life. News you have no financial stake in? In the age of the newspaper, the most exciting form of conversation was financial speculation on stocks and sports betting, and looking at things for sale, and job advertisements. Those things felt productive, they had risk, and they had reward. That's the allure of doing a podcast and live streaming, it's risky, but you have the intention of providing value.
So in this world of an Existential and Ethical Nihilism, that gives way to Egoism, you do you, you find your way, accept the risks, accept the consequences, accept a lack of imagination, accept struggle. Your self interest is always in play, whether you are selfish or selfless. True nihilism with no context is hypocrisy waiting to be replaced for a better definition of what you are feeling. And eventually with social media it will become the most applicably nihilistic force in your life, and you have to make a choice at what are the mechanisms that have a grip on you. It's a pseudo reward with no real risk invested. Because soon you will be seeking something with risk and effort involved, as a new ethic, for your own self interest.