Wood storage cabinets with doors and shelves

26m from australia! Looking for new friends and someone to share photos/stories with!!
Enjoy the great our doors, fishing, camping, gaming, drinking, and all round having a good time doing random activities! Hit me up for a chat! 😋😋

When I was about 20 years old, I discovered what an autopsy was. I had lived a sheltered life, away from mainstream education and interaction with others.
Then I imagined an autopsy on an attractive girl and I found the idea of her body being stripped naked, intimately examined and cut open and eviscerated very arousing.
Then, to my horror, when I was at university, already lonely and scared, I found pictures and videos of autopsy procedures online, to which I would maturbate and ejaculate profusely to, sometimes up to 12 times per day.
It was at this point I knew I had a serious fucking problem.
I struggled a lot with social anxiety in the first place and this just made it all 10x worse for me. I realised I was a sexual deviant, a pervert, someone to be hated and ostracised from society. I was worried I might be a future murderer or sex offender because of my fetish.
And yet, they are fine with autopsies taking place behind closed doors, or maybe they are ignorant of how horrific the procedure is?
I never spoke to girls throughout my 20s partially because of this and already suffering from severe social anxiety.
When I turned 30 I decided to seek mental help but it was just taking to someone over a phone.
It had already had a profuse impact on a decade of my life by then.
I talk to girls now but I wish I had when I was young. But I didn't know what to do about my fetish. I thought the world had ended when I found out and autopsies and remember feeling an overwhelming sense of dread when engaging with autopsy content.

When I [30F] have sex with my bf [31M] we use condoms. I hate messing with my hormones so I refuse to take the pill. He's fine with this. I also pretty much always have a shower after sex.
However after about a year of being together (we met when I was 26) he started this really annoying 'joke'. After I get in the shower sometimes he takes the used condom. Rinses it out in the sink, then fills up the condom with water into a massive balloon and then chucks it in the shower at me.
He doesn't do this every time otherwise I'd remember to lock the door but it's frequent enough that I find it really annoying and pathetic. I think the first few times I did laugh as I have a childish sense of humour too. But it quickly got old. I've told him not to do it but I don't think he takes it seriously that I find it massively immature and a complete turn off now.
There are other issues that are causing me to resent him (criticisms etc) but this issue annoys me the most. How would you explain that this is not ok?

Hi everyone,
I've been part living in my car, part homeless in Austin TX for almost a year, and have had some very strange/disturbing/scary experiences with a woman who looks and acts like Nichol Kessinger, and is named Nikki. My name is Isabel Blakely and a few years ago I started watching YouTube videos about the Watts family murders. I wrote some hostile things in the comments of at least one video, directing my anger at Nikki for her lack of humanity. In recent months this woman named Nikki who hangs out in the homeless community of South Austin started showing up around me doing very odd and scary stuff. I think she's been stalking me with the goal of paying me back for my angry comments. I'm very afraid because she has lots of friends in the homeless community and I believe a number of them have been helping her try to ambush me. I was told by more than one person that this Nikki is at least partly responsible for the brutal murders of six "outspoken" homeless women in a wooded area called the AT&T Woods. Allegedly there are shallow graves there and the hacked up bodies of those women. I've been afraid to contact the police because I'm afraid of repercussions against my kids and me. I do live videos on Facebook and have been talking about this stuff there. I'm completely serious about all this and I'm certain It's Nikki Kessinger. If someone wants more info, please don't hesitate to say so. Thanks.

Hi all. I'm on my old reddit account because my bf knows my main one. I've been in a relationship with my bf for 2 months, though we were dating for 4 months before this.
Last night, I went to a party with him and his fam for his step dads birthday. It went well and me, him and his brother went home a bit early. My bf was given the spare key, but he'd lost it. He lives in a spare sorta house out the back and went into a full blown meltdown trying to look for it.
He has autism and ADHD and so do I, so I understand the stress of a meltdown, but this was nothing like mine or anything I expected. He kept screaming about the keys, punched his chair, slammed the door multiple times to the point the handle is now loose, throwing stuff etc.
My dad used to hit my mum and even though I don't remember it, I still get a bit triggered by that sort of stuff. Seeing him do that made me scared and once he noticed that, he seemed to snap out of it. He left me alone for some space, but I heard him crying on a call to his friend about how he's fucked up and doesn't want to lose me. He's been apologising all day and said just seeing how scared I was is stuck in his head and he feels like an absolute dickhead.
He's usually very sweet and I'd like to believe he'd never lay his hands on me. I understand it could just be a rush of stress and emotions and I especially know how an autistic meltdown feels, but I can't lie that I'm not worried about this.
What should I do? I honestly don't want to break up with him since this has been the only bad thing so far in this relationship, but I want to know if there's anything else I should look out for or if I should talk to him about it or anything like that. Thank you!
TD;LR boyfriend has adhd/autism and went into an anger meltdown last night. he was throwing/punching things and yelling and it scared me. its my first time seeing this and wondering what i should do

TL;DR – Got a new CPU wanted to test on Streets in a controlled-‘ish’ setting to figure some hardware tweaks out.
I built a PC just over 2 years ago with the theory it would be used for video/photo editing, music production and video games, so went kinda HAM.
Spec at build:
· Ryzen 9 5950X
· 128gb (4x32gb) 4000mhz cl18 DDR4
· RTX 3090 FE
· X570 Gigabyte Aorus Master
· LG 38GL950G-B 3840x1600 1ms G-Sync 144mhz display
· All the storage etc which isn’t important for this post.
I concluded 6 months after building it, it was never used for anything other than gaming and that game being mainly Tarkov. So this last week updated to a 5800X3D and in the process of recouping the cost with the resale of the 5950X, again not important, but in essence this change will make me a few quid too.
As a Streets main player (obviously since this wipe), I was kinda bummed the performance gains weren’t as large as hoped, although the max fps did improve 10-15 fps as did the average fps, I was still getting frame drops to less than 60 fps although less frequently, but these would still cause noticeable stutters.
Having read a few things here and there, I saw some people mention CPPC and CPPC Preferred Cores and with some Ryzen 5000 CPUs they were seeing different gains in different gains with these settings off and on in varying combinations. But having also used 1usmus CTR and later Hydra on the 5950x, was aware of the PBO options on the software (there are others out there too like PBO2), which can also be set on a 5800X3D although OC’ing is generally not possible on these CPUs, this is undervolting and tweaking power settings and the like in order to maintain higher clock frequencies for longer periods. So wanted to try this too.
Parameters for the controlled test. Streets – Offline raid – Scav numbers High – Bosses off – Easy difficulty – Scav War enabled – Weather Sunny – Daytime Raids between 0900 and 1400 – Repeated 10 times for each run and the three scored FPS results were to be averaged.
Monitoring with HWINFO and RTSS (However half way through realised 1% & 0.1% lows were not recorded, continued and will report Min/Max/Average FPS Values, as I wasn’t starting again).
I went in Chadded as I had the previous raid and ran the same gear for each test. I used a combination of stims to negate the stamina losses for sprinting around a map to follow the same path for every run in order to conduct fair testing.
The path was from the spawn where you need to break the window, down towards the car extract, along the edge of the map to the back of Lexos with the containers, run through here to the square where all the scav bodies lay by the articulated truck with loot in the back keeping to the pavement/sidewalks, into the diner an run through the back toward the playground behind Chekannaya and then take a slight right to take the road behind Primorsky 48 into the building at the far end, run back on myself down the main corridor on the ground floor once in and go the skybridge apartment, dump a 60 round mag in the bedroom here through the window, then run back into the room with the PC shoot the window here with a single shot then jump out the window over the balcony to my death. Rinse and repeat, this made it as fair a test as any I could find and would give a wide variety of fps dips and highs as I had experienced them in online raid previously. Now with the number of Scavs in the raid and the fact they were all shooting the shit out of each other the Low FPS is artificially low across all instances, this was to simulate a worst case scenario.
There are two lots of PBO2 setting as I wanted to see the best scenario for gaming: Optimised, -30 voltage offset relative to frequency on all 8 cores and the following 3 settings changed for Power, 125W (PAT), 120A (EDC) and 85A (TDC) Standard, -30 offset on all 8 cores with default power settings.
(Side note: this chip was pretty awesome, ran PBO2 at -30 with the standard power on all core stress testing for over an hour without throttling any core, this is using a 420mm AIO)
For anyone asking what CPPC is the performance scoring of each core, CPPC preferred Cores is how windows allocated the best cores in order to send the workload to appropriate cores in order to get processes performed as efficiently as possible. (Both on by default and required for PBO2 to operate).
Below data for each analysis will be shown as:
· Hardware settings
· MIN fps
· MAX fps
· Average fps
CPPC off
45
90
128
CPPC on/CPPC Preferred Cores Off
49
93
136
CPPC on/CPPC PC on (Default Bios)
50
98
121
Default Bios/PBO2 Optimised
54
97
134
Default Bios/PBO2 Standard
57
101
140
Given this information concluded the PBO2 offset at default power was the most efficient for Streets anyway, however with some fine tuning could possibly find a happy medium between the optimised and standard, however as my cooling solution allows for the standard power, I will not look further into this.
The factory supplied thermal pads on the RTX 3090 FE were notoriously shit, so changed these last week when upgrading the CPU, with a current overclock set for previous thermal solution I wanted to try and tweak this OC too.
Current OC settings – 114% Power Limit, 90°C Temp limit, +50Mhz on the core and +350Mhz on the memory.
Latest stable OC setting – 114% Power Limit, 90°C Temp limit, +115Mhz on the core and +45Mhz on the memory.
I then ran the same test on the chosen CPU settings in order to see what a quieter streets would look like, with default offline raid settings, i.e. scavs set to as online for both frequency and difficulty with no bosses present all other parameters for runs the same. But also to test the new GPU OC against the old one. As I often run night raids I wanted this to be seen too. So performed day and night raids with both OCs, see below results.
PBO2/Old OC (Day)
72
119
144
PBO2/Old OC (Night)
73
115
129
PBO2/New OC (Day)
84
120
166
PBO2/New OC (Night)
76
118
134
Both these OC settings will be tested this coming week to get some actual in raid data too, in order to provide a realistic idea of what this set up offers. I will add the details in the post and in a comment below when I have it all gathered. As I also want to compare to the 75-100 FPS average (not recorded just from observing) and dips below 60 fps toward 50-52 fps using the 5950X, whether this is a worthwhile improvement above 1440p resolution, if some extra tweaking is performed.
It also struck me Streets daytime should have a higher FPS than we get at night, this in my opinion is because no fucker runs a scav at night on streets, they are all gathered there in the bloody daytime haha. More players on the map the lower the FPS. Which is definitely an option for BSG to work on optimising the map, so players out of sight are not taxing on the FPS driven locally.
I also conclude newer X3D chips may benefit from PBO2 tuning, but the mileage may vary.

Has anyone had experience with freezing eggs in Tokyo and have a clinic they would recommend? Especially English speaking clinics - our conversational Japanese is fine but would feel more comfortable if there's some English support since it's an unfamiliar medical procedure to us. If not, then at least comfort using an interpretegoogle translate/etc for unknown medical vocab etc.
Not too worried about cost if that's a factor, the alternative would be doing this in the US which I think would be way more expensive anyway.
Have found a few clinics online that have English pages about IVF (assuming just egg freezing/storage is similar, at least to the first part of the process), but can't tell if they're a good fit or not, and we're probably missing out on options from just looking through English google results. e.g.
Fertility Clinic Tokyo
Kiba Park Clinic
Hara Medical Clinic
Natural Art Clinic Nihombashi
Would love to hear first hand accounts if anyone has any!

It's arguably the best deck in the game, with little to no competition
Murloc package has crazy amount of tutors and consistently gives a full board of murlocs while providing either a 4-mana board clear or amazing disruption
Then comes all the busted battlecry synergy cards. Enjoy playing around 4 mutanus and 4 dirty rats at the bare minimum, with the potential of even more. The sheer amount of them is impossible to disrupt too. Got a lucky rat that dodged 3 piranha swarmers? Now they only have 7 disruptions and not 8, congrats!
With cold storage added as another layer of flexibility and anti-disruption, alongside astalor the deck is nigh unbeatable in the right hands.
And of course, Shudderwock is the finisher. Although the deck is so broken you can easily win without it anyway. It's just a final fuck you that empties your hand and refills theirs with astalor
Aggro easily dies to murgl tox, control and OTK don't stand a chance. Unless the shaman lowrolls and you don't, you can't win. Shaman and Druid just murder control, it's no wonder aggro is everywhere

I (18M) always liked to sleep since as long as i remember, I took naps almost everyday and it did not really interfere with my sleep. I had a bad sleep hygiene but from what i remember I did not really matter, I still had my 8 hours of peaceful sleep. Wether it was staring at my phone in bed 1 hour before deciding to sleep or wether there was a party behind my door, i could sleep through anything before.
Now, since the beginning of this year, I started experiencing struggle to fall asleep. It took like an hour or two for me to be able to fall asleep then i wake up in the morning feeling very unergetic. However, i did not really pay attention to that, but starting 1 month ago i started to have horrible nights now. I just lay in bed and toss and turn till its morning.
When it happened the first time it was horrible, it was the first time i had gone a night without sleeping. The next day I decided to try and fix my sleeping routing by not looking at any screen/electronics 1 hour before bed and drink tea, read the bible before going in bed. And it did not work so I told my mother and she gave me Atarax which helped for awhile.
But i did not like taking medication so I worked on my sleep routing persistently and on some nights it works and on some no. It even feels like it is alternating such that today i sleep without the need of Atarax (go in bed fall asleep in ~30min) and tommorow I just toss and turn until ~3am then i take Atarax before being able to asleep at ~4h30am . And this alternating, weird, anomalous ability and inability to fall asleep continued for one week. But now this week things just got worse, I do not fall asleep wether my sleep routing is good or not, i do not fall asleep even if i take Atarax. Just toss and turn until morning. This is very bad for me because i have a lot of studies to do and its basically imposible to do so without good sleep.
Despite implementing changes such as reducing caffeine intake, limiting screen time, and engaging in regular exercise, I am still struggling to identify the root cause of my insomnia. Although I have had thoughts running through my mind before falling asleep in the past, it never seemed to have a significant impact on my ability to sleep. Currently, I am uncertain if anxiety could be contributing to my sleep difficulties, as I am not sure if it is a factor .
I would really appreciate some people's suggestiong! This last few weeks has been a strain on me physically, mentally and emotionally. I have a lot of things to do and this insomnia is ruining it all. I fear that this may be a permanent thing for me now! Anybody's opionion and help would be really greatly appreciated!
just some additional points: I don't want to take atarax i drank lemongrass tea but idk if its good long-term so i stopped This week i may try to take magnesium (Magne B6) 3 times a day daily for 10 days to see if it makes any changes. Incase some people suggest therapy, I don't think its an option, its very expensive an i can't afford. Please make other suggestion and don't try to fight me on it.

Hi all. I'm on my old reddit account because my bf knows my main one. I've been in a relationship with my bf for 2 months, though we were dating for 4 months before this.
Last night, I went to a party with him and his fam for his step dads birthday. It went well and me, him and his brother went home a bit early. My bf was given the spare key, but he'd lost it. He lives in a spare sorta house out the back and went into a full blown meltdown trying to look for it.
He has autism and ADHD and so do I, so I understand the stress of a meltdown, but this was nothing like mine or anything I expected. He kept screaming about the keys, punched his chair, slammed the door multiple times to the point the handle is now loose, throwing stuff etc.
My dad used to hit my mum and even though I don't remember it, I still get a bit triggered by that sort of stuff. Seeing him do that made me scared and once he noticed that, he seemed to snap out of it. He left me alone for some space, but I heard him crying on a call to his friend about how he's fucked up and doesn't want to lose me. He's been apologising all day and said just seeing how scared I was is stuck in his head and he feels like an absolute dickhead.
He's usually very sweet and I'd like to believe he'd never lay his hands on me. I understand it could just be a rush of stress and emotions and I especially know how an autistic meltdown feels, but I can't lie that I'm not worried about this.
What should I do? I honestly don't want to break up with him since this has been the only bad thing so far in this relationship, but I want to know if there's anything else I should look out for or if I should talk to him about it or anything like that. Thank you!
TD;LR boyfriend has adhd/autism and went into an anger meltdown last night. he was throwing/punching things and yelling and it scared me. its my first time seeing this and wondering what i should do

Chapter 7: Instructor Mattheus
My spine shivers at unimaginable volumes. Every fibre, every hair, every cell, every microorganism within me are shouting at the top of their non-existent lungs. The two words "Get ready" by the man I fear the most is enough to activate a surge of adrenaline. Without giving me time to collect my thoughts, he raises his spear into the air and thrusts it downwards unto me. My reaction time has improved over the past month and i barely close the hatch in time. What do i do? Where do i go? What can i do? I'm an unarmed hobo that can barely speak a word in the current state I'm in. Mattheus opens the hatch and starts scouting the lower deck of the schooner. Hiding behind one of the pillars, I can hear him try to speak to me. "You shouldn't be here, freshie. Erisia is too much for a small-fry like you. You can't even beat me, how do you expect to go against the bandits over there, let alone a couple of mudskippers."
My spirit doesn't let someone shit talk me and get away with it. Especially this man. He thinks he's all that cuz he beat me in a spar a few times. But if i wanna go to Erisia and not die within a minute, then he's right, i need to prove my strength and beat him. As soon as i hear his boots come ever so closer to my pillar I'm hiding behind, i run in the other direction, towards the hatch leading towards the outside. I dare not look back, i'm not running in fear. I'm running away as part of my plan. As i guessed, Mattheus follows in pursuit. Up on the deck, i find something to weigh down the hatch as i get ready. This barrel will do. I can hear him banging on the door. Maybe i should put another barrel just because he pisses me off. As he's trying to open the hatch, i climb onto one of the ropes meant to release the sails. I can do it rather quickly, which feels like muscle memory, just the same as when i first snuck onto the ship.
Not long after, Mattheus manages to break out of the lower deck, but it's too late. Holding tightly onto the rope, i kick off the post and swing my way down. He sees me swing at him from above and readies into a blocking stance but my force is too strong and I dropkicked Matt, unarming him in the process. I was hoping to push him into the water but it's better than nothing. I nab his spear off the floor and point at him. "Let me leave to Erisia, or...or you like big oily men feeling your body". Matt, looking unsatisfied, says to me "You haven't been to the driftlands, have you? That place came from the Voidsea, and is filled with beings and artefacts we, today, are still researching. Everyone has the same idea, to go and look for the forgotten treasure. Bandits, pathfinders, those who found their paths, and anyone in between. If you really think you can go to Erisia and stay alive, so be it. You're no longer under our care." I take that as a victory. Maybe because he doesn't have a weapon, but nevertheless, i think i get to leave for Erisia.
"Dyou let give him the approval?"
"Yeah, somewhat of a shame. I wanted to see what the person who survived the death of Beloved Zofia was like. Too bad he was no more than a recruit."
"Weren't you kinda close to his captain?"
"I wouldn't say that."
"Why not?"
"Because"
"Because why?"
"Maestro, i get that you're good with the blade, but for the love of Navae, shut up"
"This guy isn't even a Gremor, what the hell is he praising Navae for?"
Chapter 8: The Sea and Me
As i set sail towards Erisia, i take one look back to the Isle of Vigils. Now that i think of it, it's not that bad. If what Mr Innkeeper said about that place being better than Etris, then maybe i shouldn't affiliate myself with the kingdom of Etrea. Though, what is a problem however is that i still don't know where the fuck Erisia is. I take it as it wouldn't be too far from here, so might as well sail straight forward till i come across a problem. I'll poke around the schooner since I'll be here for a while, and that's when I come across some newspaper and a map. Plot armour really helps in situations like these. The map shows a couple of islands, which I do not know of. Such as 'Minitrysa' and 'Geoduck Cove'. I find 'Isle of Vigils' and straight to the north is Erisia. I think i'm going the right way. Seeing in which direction the moon is rising or falling, I should be able to see where I'm going.
The moon is mesmerising. It mimics the shape of an Eye. The moon is strong, it moves the waves and shapes the seas. Some believe it's the reason for the Great Drowning. Others believe it's their saviour. I believe, that it will help me reach Erisia.
Chapter 9: Etrean Luminant Times
That newspaper i found along with the map looks like it's a slightly outdated one, only one or two weeks old.
Etrean Luminant Times
-Famous Influencer and Author, Supaa, has yet to release his "Mario goes ganking" novel. Today marks the third year anniversary since its announcement.
-More whirlpools seem to be forming in the Aratel Sea, specifically near Songseeker and a few meters offshore from Fort Merit.
-Researchers are testing a new product 'Megalodaunt Bait'. It is said that it will be released to the public around the winter of 1291, which is just two years from now.
-Famous pirate ship, Beloved Zofia, hasn't been spotted for a while since it was last seen by fishermen and sailors two weeks ago. It is speculated that it has been sunk and already lost in the Voidsea.
I remember the name, Beloved Zofia. It sparked a memory deep in the back of my head. I try to hold onto that memory but it just fades away. No use trying to remember the past, I've got to focus on getting to Erisia. The moon is descending over to the west, meaning i should be going in the right direction. According to my calculations 🤓 I should arrive in Erisia by dawn. Meanwhile, it's best i get some rest. Mattheus told me that Erisia is filled to the brim with wacky things. I hope theres Felinor bandits over there.

I (18M) always liked to sleep since as long as i remember, I took naps almost everyday and it did not really interfere with my sleep. I had a bad sleep hygiene but from what i remember I did not really matter, I still had my 8 hours of peaceful sleep. Wether it was staring at my phone in bed 1 hour before deciding to sleep or wether there was a party behind my door, i could sleep through anything before.
Now, since the beginning of this year, I started experiencing struggle to fall asleep. It took like an hour or two for me to be able to fall asleep then i wake up in the morning feeling very unergetic. However, i did not really pay attention to that, but starting 1 month ago i started to have horrible nights now. I just lay in bed and toss and turn till its morning.
When it happened the first time it was horrible, it was the first time i had gone a night without sleeping. The next day I decided to try and fix my sleeping routing by not looking at any screen/electronics 1 hour before bed and drink tea, read the bible before going in bed. And it did not work so I told my mother and she gave me Atarax which helped for awhile.
But i did not like taking medication so I worked on my sleep routing persistently and on some nights it works and on some no. It even feels like it is alternating such that today i sleep without the need of Atarax (go in bed fall asleep in ~30min) and tommorow I just toss and turn until ~3am then i take Atarax before being able to asleep at ~4h30am . And this alternating, weird, anomalous ability and inability to fall asleep continued for one week. But now this week things just got worse, I do not fall asleep wether my sleep routing is good or not, i do not fall asleep even if i take Atarax. Just toss and turn until morning. This is very bad for me because i have a lot of studies to do and its basically imposible to do so without good sleep.
Despite implementing changes such as reducing caffeine intake, limiting screen time, and engaging in regular exercise, I am still struggling to identify the root cause of my insomnia. Although I have had thoughts running through my mind before falling asleep in the past, it never seemed to have a significant impact on my ability to sleep. Currently, I am uncertain if anxiety could be contributing to my sleep difficulties, as I am not sure if it is a factor .
I would really appreciate some people's suggestiong! This last few weeks has been a strain on me physically, mentally and emotionally. I have a lot of things to do and this insomnia is ruining it all. I fear that this may be a permanent thing for me now! Anybody's opionion and help would be really greatly appreciated!
just some additional points: I don't want to take atarax i drank lemongrass tea but idk if its good long-term so i stopped This week i may try to take magnesium (Magne B6) 3 times a day daily for 10 days to see if it makes any changes. Incase some people suggest therapy, I don't think its an option, its very expensive an i can't afford. Please make other suggestion and don't try to fight me on it.

I remember my mother’s 1977 BMW 320i was the only constant fixture in my periphery for the first seventeen years of my life. For a sizeable portion of my youth, I loved and obsessively ruminated on BMWs. They were a cherished gift to me from the world and best suited for my Aspergian sensibilities (clinically diagnosed). From memory, I could recite every model, feature and accessory for all of the 1980-1996 model lineup. Despite this, I specifically did not love our BMW. The entire time, it remained to me an unfortunate afterthought of a car. “Why don’t we ever have a good BMW?” was one of my usual, elementary school gripes. We got close at least one time with the near-purchase of that European-spec, e23 745i, but it just never happened.
I remember learning and committing to memory that our BMW’s original owner was a Palo Alto woman, a Stanford University professor. The woman seemed to enjoy driving the car too much, leaving it uncovered under the California sun and not maintaining it properly.
I remember the story of my father doing the pre-purchase inspection of the somewhat high-mileage, paint-damaged–albeit comparatively young–BMW in 1983. He summarily advised my mother not to buy it. Being the spark plug that she is, she took this recommendation under advisement and went ahead and bought it anyway.
I remember that this event–this BMW–is how my parents met and eventually decided to marry. He was her diligent, cautious, attentive mechanic, and she was his young, attractive, female customer. I assume that since it was the 1980s, my mother had legs–of the ZZ Top variety–and was well informed on how to use them.
I remember the story of my mother leaving a bag of peaches on the rear seat floor boards that eventually decomposed into a mound of organic glue and permanently fused to the sun-bleached, shit-stained beige carpet.
I remember hearing about how my mother would drive the BMW from El Sobrante to San Jose–fifty-plus miles–with the low fuel indicator light illuminated. My father would sit in the passenger’s seat, white-knuckled, a bead of terror sweat likely running down the side of his temple.
I remember the BMW sitting behind the laundry area of our Redmond home’s garage–an unassembled and deconstructed husk–unstarted for five-plus years.
I remember all of the BMW’s transformations from “anthrazitgrau” to “teal” to “lexus pearl white.”
I remember my mother deciding that the interior was going to be replaced and the color was going to be changed from beige to black. My mother purchased replacement Recaro seats for the BMW, but opted for the least expensive variants possible. I was deeply troubled, at the time, that the front bucket seats were charcoal cloth and the rear seat was black vinyl. My father’s contribution to the chaos was purchasing black door panels whose styles didn’t match one another because they were each sourced from separate BMWs of stylistically differing generations. To me, this all felt entirely criminal. I was present at the junkyard for at least one of these door panel purchases. The donor BMW was sad and pathetic, I recall. My father told me not to get too close to it because there was broken glass present. I complied.
I remember when our BMW was in a transitional state and didn’t have an interior, but was in drivable condition. My father amused us both by driving it up and down our Redmond street. He expertly operated the clutch and accelerator while sitting precariously atop a piece of scrap two-by-four that was balanced between the driver’s door sill and the center hump that ran the length of the interior. I sat in the passenger's side footwell and clapped like a seal while we both laughed hysterically. It was one of the few times my father didn’t seem so stoic and cautious. It was totally unsafe and a wonderful bonding experience that I absolutely cherish.
I remember seeing the aftermath of a semi truck that, after missing its intended turn, elected to come to a full stop on a highway near our home. The driver then attempted to correct this error by reversing, without looking, toward the front-end of our BMW that my dad was driving at the time. Without enough time to reverse, my dad was hit. The recently repainted grille and hood were smashed-in. My mother drove to pick my father up in our brand new Jeep Cherokee while I accompanied her, sitting in the back seat, nervous, but excited about observing the damage. I knew my father was alright, but I brought an open bag of candied pecans as an offering to comfort him. When we arrived, he was not interested in the candied pecans, which was odd to me. I was, however, awash with relief because I wasn’t actually that interested in sharing them, but simply wished to express my concern. I took advantage of the moment to eat the rest of the candies, which under any other circumstance, would have not been allowed.
I remember seeing the BMW at the body shop waiting to be repaired–how a working-class man expertly removed the BMW emblem that was on the smashed hood with a flat-blade screwdriver and gave it to me as a gift. The emblem was relatively new at the time, a replacement for the original one that had just previously been replaced. The otherwise pristine emblem had a small indentation from the damage. I was in possession of the emblem until 2001 at which point I threw it in the trash.
I remember my irresponsible sister–as a condition of her owning it–was required to maintain the BMW and this included washing it. Despite her protest, the one time I did actually see her wash it, she was sure to use a green scrub pad and managed to destroy the majority of the paint’s finish.
I remember my mother paying actual money to have the paint repaired.
I remember my sister absentmindedly losing one of the BMW’s original keys at the Costco in San Leandro. It was the only one of the three original keys that still had its black, plastic head. My mother had duplicates made, but they were not adequate. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forgive my sister for this offense.
I remember being present for the replacement of the BMW’s rod bearings in our San Antonio Avenue driveway. My sister previously flooded the engine in water and the BMW no longer ran correctly. She stated that it was misfiring and producing blue flames from the tailpipe. I started the engine when the job was completed–momentarily channeling my inner Frank Zappa–and told my father the BMW sounded like something that could only be described as “canned soup.” It sounded clunky and misfire-y and shitty: like canned soup.
I remember my father, dirty and grease-stained, being very confused by my aforementioned remark.
I remember standing on our hand-laid, herringbone, reclaimed brick driveway, staring at the dirty-white, thoroughly beaten-up BMW that was recently abandoned by my sister, asking myself how much I really cared about it. That day turned out to be instructive: it was the first time in my life that, retrospectively, everything could have been different. I would not even closely resemble the person I am today, save for choosing the direction that I didn’t choose. I had to decide to pursue the Jeep Cherokee that I loved, or rescue the BMW that I always knew. In my sixteen-year-old mind, acquiring the BMW would be an effortless slam dunk that the Jeep would not. The Jeep would require more effort to acquire, but it was also the one I really cared about. I was concerned that if I didn’t save the BMW right then and there it would go away. Both options were untenable for me. I could feel both of my recently divorced parents staring at me as I weighed the two options. Going with my gut and not my heart, I chose to capitulate to anxiety and doubt by choosing the way I did: the BMW. My rationalization was that there was still time to save the Jeep. I could figure out how later; I just needed more time. I drove the BMW from the San Antonio Avenue house to the Central Avenue house on or around the first day of October in 2001.
I remember that I bought the BMW from my mother for “$1,500.” I paid $500, my father paid $500 and my mother “paid” herself $500.
I remember immediately discovering the joys of the junkyard and making my first purchase of a stained, yellow, molded carpet from some tragic donor. I wanted a filthy carpet because my plan was to also be filthy. I sought to trash my interior and not care about maintaining it because I wished to lean into my “gross teenager” aesthetic. I wanted to be able to drop frenchfries and soda and lucky charms and not give a shit. At the time I was able to comfortably exist in one of two paradigms: abject filth or obsessive cleanliness. There was no middle ground. This is something that remains to be true to this day, except I can now only tolerate the latter. My yellow carpet lasted for less than one month before the anxiety of it being filthy overcame me and I removed it, throwing it away as quickly as possible. I reinstalled the previously removed carpet and was angry about it.
I remember installing makeshift rear headrests that didn’t fit correctly. I used a hacksaw, a pair of unmatching black, cloth headrests purchased from the junkyard, two pieces of reclaimed wood with unmeasured holes drilled into them using a Victorian hand-crank-operated drill and several rubber bands. Many European-spec BMW 320i models were available with optional rear headrests, but models for the American market were not. This was terribly aggravating for me at sixteen-years-old.
I remember Jolene asking me for a ride home after school. I was uninterested in performing this favor, but complied because doing so was considerably less taxing than thoroughly explaining why it made me uncomfortable and didn’t want to do it. That was a nice, fall day in the afternoon and I can still recall the look of tree-lined Central Avenue as I drove past High street. I came to regret doing this favor as someone from my high school saw us and relayed to others what I’d done. It was then rumored that Jolene and I were romantically involved and this turned my stomach in a way I cannot adequately describe.
I remember Chris and Jasmine asking me for a ride to their respective homes after school while they canoodled in my back seat like the two love-struck, teenage assholes they were. They were both overly attentive, flattering, and obsequious toward me during the drive which made my desire for total silence all the more blinding. The useful moron I typically was at the time, I received this all as clear confirmation that they had no respect for me. I was, however, less uninterested in driving them than I was Jolene, but still just as mortified by the prospect of explaining why I didn’t want to do it as opposed to just doing it. These were people I didn’t really know and had no interest in helping, but I did. They never spoke to me again. This is correct.
I remember Danny looking at the BMW, telling me it was a “hooptie” and asked me if I agreed. Being neither of his ilk, nor of his particular caliber, I wasn’t sure what that word meant, so I nodded and escaped the situation as quickly as possible so as not to be roped into further discourse. Danny is a twat of a man and now, aptly, a real estate agent.
I remember how the BMW never easily started. I assume it was an engine compression issue.
I remember a brisk, overcast fall morning, how the air was cold and wet. After pulling out of the Central Avenue driveway, a thin layer of mist condensed on the windshield. I had trouble seeing as I drove, but I didn’t want to smear the moisture on the glass because it would have left annoying smudge marks when it dried and smudge marks are extremely difficult to clean off of interior windshield glass. Seeing no other available option, I continued to drive down Central Avenue crouching, peering through the thin slit of cleared glass that was closest to the defrost vents blowing at high speed. The glass wasn’t clearing fast enough, so in an outburst, I punched the top of the glass near the rear-view mirror in a logical attempt to bully the glass into clearing more quickly. A thin, meandering line suddenly appeared, bisecting the sheets of glass, suspiciously close to the spot my knuckle just struck.
I remember telling my parents that a crack in the windshield glass had suddenly appeared and that I had no idea how it got there.
I remember my first job was at an ice-cream shop in my hometown and how the BMW was not considered a form of reliable transportation to and from it.
I remember being so aggravated by the BMW after two months of owning it, that I told my mother if she didn’t take it back, I’d have it crushed.
I remember being told that I would receive $700 in exchange for the BMW–$200 more than I’d personally paid–but never seeing this money and wondering what happened to it.
I remember expressing a renewed interest in the Jeep Cherokee now owned by my father, but being told I couldn’t acquire it because I wouldn’t be able to materialize the lump sum of cash required to purchase it, quickly enough.
I remember resigning myself to my fate and not making any real attempt to fight for the Jeep: the thing I loved most at the time–the thing I thought would solve all of my problems. I could have done a lot more, but I chose not to. The Jeep was then sold to some sexually attractive dad and his obnoxious, harpy wife soon thereafter.
I remember the BMW also going away, back to mother’s condo on Shoreline Drive to live out the remainder of its days with her much the way it did in the early 1990s: parked and languishing.
I remember my mother moving to the house on Macarthur Boulevard and the BMW being sequestered in the damp, crumbling cement garage that was carved out from the side of the hill under the house.
I remember bird feces and a layer of cement dust coating the top of the BMW the last few times I saw it.
I remember replacing the BMW’s starter–an abject nightmare of a repair–in an effort to correct the starting issues. This repair corrected nothing and was completely unrelated to the actual problem.
I remember my mother surprising me by stating in or around 2002 that she was going to sell the BMW after twenty years of clinging to it, dragging it along with us everywhere we moved.
I remember the first prospective buyer of the BMW was a buff, extremely handsome, 30-something black man in a skin-tight, white t-shirt and black jeans. I fantasized about the man possibly sweeping me off my feet and taking me far away from this place. I was still technically a minor at the time, but only in the ways that mattered.
I remember hoping and praying that the BMW would start-up quickly enough not to raise any eyebrows as to its viability and reliability. It did. It would seem that it wanted rid of us as surely as we wanted rid of it.
I remember the man being allowed to go on a solo test drive, unaccompanied, and me and my mom not really caring if the BMW never came back.
I remember the transaction being completed and the BMW being sold for $1500.
I remember, with absolute crystal clarity, observing the BMW drive away for the last time, north on Macarthur Boulevard, disappearing beyond the sunny horizon after cresting over a hill, never to be seen or heard of again.

Diablo IV beta impressions: Disclaimer - I did not watch a single cutscene, the story of Diablo has been kinda dear to my heart, I want to respect it and not blast through it when the game launches, so i am not partaking in it at this time. I will not be remarking on anything in terms of the lore/story/cutscene/etc choices as i'm completely oblivious and wanted to spend the limited time I had with the open beta observing how mechanics and gameplay interact and how they feel without the story having an effect on my judgement.
-Melee and Ranged focused builds seem to be at a complete disparage.
e.g.: not enough mechanics are engaging for ranged characters and too many avoid based mechanics for melee characters This leads to ranged classes and builds feeling like 'cheese' and melee builds feeling too hard in comparison for the same content - news flash, it feels bad both ways. No one feels rewarded for playing smartly, they feel rewarded for building around bad design or for picking the 'correct' build of a class when really it should be about maximizing your skill usage, NOT throwing some skills away as useless.
-UI is attrociousI had to google how to see how much lucky strike chance i had. It is hidden in a menu you click from your character screen that defaults to a pane of collectible crafting materials that you have on hand. This is flat out horrible. Other UI elements and flair seem to be attempting to both evoke 'streamlined' and 'convoluted' at the same time. Every Person you encounter in your party constantly has the emote keybinding shown next to them, which is ridiculous. The way the health and mana orbs aren't anchored to the bottom of the screen, the way the skill bar floats, the lack of overall design adherance to any modern look we've seen in some time (weirdly basic fonts, announcing status changes on your xp bar, very low amount of art involved in the ui whatsoever)
It appears to me the game's ui design team was shooting for a retro look to rekindle charm from older entrees in the series while also attempting to incorporate new social features that games of the past would not have had, but instead they ended up with something which is lacking in both form AND function, and there's no charm in that.
-Dungeon design seems really uninspired. Repetitive dungeon activities that are from 30 year old games are still hanging out here and who wants them? kill all enemies? place things on pedestals that takes a loading screen worth of bar time to place on them? find they key? I am sincerely hoping, but highly doubting, that these are early game mechanics that fade from existence after lvl 50 or so.
-Character power is tied more to items than literally anything else. I thought this was something that D3 embraced and that D4 was intentionally breaking away from. I admit that there are systems in the game we've yet to encounter, but since all we have to go off is the beta, we can easily interpret that many item affixes are more impactful than say, skill points you attain from leveling and what you elect to place them in. For instance, I have an amulet on my sorc that has +1 to all mastery skills and +1 to all defensive skills. This gives me a substantial amount of breathing room in building because it advances me down the woefully lame skill tree to a point where I can be spending points freely how i want, instead of spending them in an order that is undesired.
-Skill tree is shallow and has literally a negative impact on feeling like you're making choices to build a character e.g. A druid commits to nothing and is not rewarded for doing so either way. You HAVE to spend the points in order, you can't hit a certain level and unlock a node, you only unlock the node by wasting skill points on stuff that doesn't matter at all in your build UNLESS you get an item like I previously described that lets you escape the prison of skill point hell and put them where you actually want them. e.g. There is an illusion of choice here and it isn't that hard to see behind the veil. Each node has 2 basic 'initial' investments : skills or passives. Then they can go 'deeper' but really its moreso 'required' to maximize the skill, 1) Hydra for example has a 'buff' node behind it that allows you to spawn an extra head if you're healthy - spending this skill point is many orders of magnitude better than spending another skill point to the base hydra skill, no sane human would skip doing this. Then there is the 'choice' node behind that that seemingly is incredibly obvious based on gear. one is crit based, one is not. Do i have crit right now? no. Then i pick the other. It is a non choice. you either have what makes that 'choice' work or you don't
-open world design actively hinders the enjoyment, performance, continuity, clarity and understanding of the players. When playing with friends, if you do not select the lowest common denominator to start, no one below that point chosen progresses. This lead to me creating a necro, joining my friends, playing for about 2 hours then figuring out 'oh wait I CANT TELEPORT?!?!' unreal that it works that way... Meanwhile random people wipe the floor with world map event objectives that you struggle with (looking at the early druid experience here) performance issues are RAMPANT due to the constantly online/lobbiless world. And all for what? so you can constantly stare at the emote button and let people help/hurt your experience with no regard for anyone's personal enjoyment? I don't know who, of ANYONE, I have asked that can say why this choice was made and its a fundamental one. Why is this game an MMO now? Diablo has never been this.
-Game optimization and performance The graphics card end of things is so insanely greatly optimized its blowing peoples cards up for not restricting the frames to prevent that. But the constant streaming of data direct from disk, as well as the online aspect, lead to massive hitches in the transition phases of in and out of town/dungeon/etc that it feels attrocious. It's sad that what i'm asking for is an offline mode with LONGER loading times so that all the assets are in ram and not being streamed from my disk in real time, hitching up the process from both ends. Just feels like i'm being penalized for a design choice no one is asking for.
-The multiplayer experience is fun, I don't think I understand fully if there is any intent on trading being a thing or if the loot is so tailor made for a specific class that something like a d2 item granting a paladin teleport is off the table, at the same time I don't fully understand why with such a shallow skill tree this can't be all willy nilly. Give rogues corpse explosion if a necro trades them a ring, I don't care, that is at least fun and weird and not mundane like 'i game life per second equal to 3.5 per enemy close to me up to a max of 44.' like dude that is legendary? that is a not even primary affix level power. I digress. I just wish there was a little more reason to care what drops anyone else in the group gets. I think having a necro is kinda necessary to take some of the heat off your melee friends, even tho to me necro isn't as fun as sorc. These are personal opinions so i'm not sure I would apply them to every group of people playing, but i'd put some honest to goodness money down that in groups of four people theres at least either a sorc or a necro just based on their power and ability to alleviate the pains of melee. There are numerous weird interactions issues between cutscene skippers and not cutscene skippers that favor the skippers in a way that I can be seen used as griefing, AKA starting an encounter that leads vigo and neyressa through a cave that collapses and prompts for acceptance to move on, but the guy watching a cutscene cannot do so and gets locked out of the quest. ALL of this happened because the cut scene skipper clicked the door first. Not great and i think there needs to be WAY more leeway given to cutscene watchers (AND IM A SKIPPER)
-Graphical Aesthetic is pretty good, there are some goofy things like dashing with capes leading to the cape becoming a bib, or using skills making your weapon go invis. Skellies seem to be out of place which i think every necro knows and i think are afraid that they'll be monetized to look more in line with the games darker aesthetic.
-Personal opinion: the first region is going for a pseudo russian accent but hired zero russian talent to voice it, it sounds hokey as fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
This is overlong as it is, I feel like a sober me will put together a concise list in the future after i've thought on it some more. Overall it feels like a game attempting to be retro and falling flat, it has interesting visual elements, tho many effects and spells look rudimentary at the moment and really what looks great is the world and the characters/enemies. Animations and such have that retro 'less is more' feel and i don't know if i agree with it. Others obviously will and thats ok. I'm just stating personal opinions.
Overall, I feel like I would rate the current implementation (if it were to go live like this) at a C-. 6.5/10 - Blizz can do better these guys essentially made this genre popular

I'm so glad you've decided to take me up on my offer. I know it was a difficult decision to just pick up and move into our small town, but I promise you it'll be worth it. Hell, you probably only came for the pay, but I'm sure you'll come to enjoy it around here in no time. Now before we just hop right into it, I have to go over the rules one more time.
You know why we pay our employees so much, the inherent risk of our profession is not something to underestimate. You'll be tending to the plants on the main floor only, you just stick to these rules and you'll be good as gold.
Jacks Special Rules for The Flora Emporium.
1: Before you open in the morning, check the doors and windows thoroughly. If any of them have sap leaking from the edges, take note of the color, that'll let you know what to do.
1-A: If the sap is light brown with a sickly sweet scent, spray down the cracks of the window or door it's leaking from with cold water from the hose outside. That'll get the little bugger behind it to back off so you can open it up. From there just coax the tendrils back into his cage, he's a big pushover and wouldn't hurt a fly unless it hurt him first. Be firm but not aggressive. Otherwise you'll find yourself ensnared til I come in at noon.
1-B: If the sap is dark brown with a bitter scent, do not enter the store. Call me immediately and I'll be there shortly to deal with it, in the meantime head over to the bakery across the street and get yourself some breakfast. It should be noted that if you attempt to enter the store before I arrive, you'll be devoured whole and let me tell you. I doubt being digested alive is a fun experience.
2: Once you've unlocked the shop, enter through the front door and ONLY the front door. Go into the staff room and get your equipment for the day. You'll need both the blue and green spray bottles, and the whole pork shoulder that I set out the night before to thaw. You'll see why later.
3: While you're in the staff room, you'll meet your coworkers. There's Jim and Frank, they tend to the plants in the basement. Don't be put off by their appearance, whilst they're not human, they're pretty cool guys. As long as you don't disrespect them, they'll be very helpful. Then there's Donna. I suggest you refrain from interacting with her, and for the love of God don't stare. She's touchy at the best of times. She tends to the most dangerous plants located upstairs, just ignore her and she'll ignore you.
3-A: In case for some reason you do manage to piss off Donna, do not let her get a hold of you. Run, Hide, do whatever you can to escape and call me immediately. I can usually calm her down and reason with her. If you get caught, there's nothing I can do. Just pray she gives you to something upstairs that'll kill you quick. Don't worry, your next of kin will be properly notified.
4: Before you mist the plantlife with the blue spray, you must always spray yourself down with the green spray bottle. This is to mask your scent from some of the more carnivorous species. As long as you mist yourself beforehand, you'll be perfectly safe, just please don't forget or God forbid spray yourself with the blue spray. I'll be cleaning bits of you out of the soil for months.
5: There's a large vivarium on the back wall of the main floor. This houses Matilda. She's a very large, very testy carnivorous species. That whole pork shoulder is her breakfast. Do not under any circumstances open the door without me present. There's a feeding slot on the bottom of the door, simply open it and throw the pork through. Remember to keep your distance, she sensed your presence the moment you entered the store. If for any reason the door is open, exit the store slowly and carefully and notify both myself and the staff. We will handle it. Needless to say the store will be closed for the remainder of the day.
6: Ignore any noises coming from upstairs be they shrieks, cries for help, children laughing or crying or even if it sounds like me. They're trying to lure you up. Only Donna and Myself are permitted upstairs. Neither of us will ever ask you to go up there for any reason.
7: If you do go upstairs, your fate is now in your own hands. We only keep these species because of their powerful properties when harvested correctly. They are amongst the most dangerous living beings on this planet. They are as cruel as they are cunning and almost none of them will kill you quickly.
8: Please wear earplugs when going through the garden area. The flowers like to whisper horrible things to you. They somehow always know every deep, dark secret you have and will attack your every flaw with brutal precision. My last employee threw himself into Matildas vivarium screaming about someone named Beth because of this.
9: You may go down into the basement with Jim and Frank however you must do exactly as they tell you at all times. If they say jump, don't even ask how high. Just pray you jump fast enough. The basement is home to our fungus collection, and given the right conditions these fungi can be every bit as dangerous as any carnivorous plant.
10: If a man in a dark coat and hat enters the store, do not make eye contact. Simply point him towards the upstairs staircase. Once he heads up, immediately vacate the store and lock the front door behind you. Donna will deal with him, and if you value your sanity you will be far away when she does.
That should be everything! I can't wait to have you on our team, if you have any questions or concerns please don't hesitate to reach out to me. Thank you so much for your time.
-Jack

(I'm a female in my 20s but I will allow comments from everyone.)
Sometimes I might like a guy and then he turns out to be someone in a relationship. Then, I assess the situation I always conclude that that the girl he's with is right for him. In most cases you might find everyone knows they're dating and everyone thinks they look good together, even me. So I end up not making a move on the guy because I don't want to ruin my reputation and be known as a man snatcher, and admire them both from a distance. Obviously I'm going to be jealous and wish I was the girl he's seeing and keep stalking their social media, but I don't intend on making a move. Usually I'm jealous because I wish I wish I looked like the girl, or she has something I don't have. Never because I think I'll be a better match for the guy.
I also never bad mouth the girl because I have a very good reputation and a nice girl next door personality.
The problem is most girls consider themselves intuitive. Somehow they can sense that I like the same guy as them. Props to them for being on alert. But they seemingly can't see that I won't make a move. So sometimes girls end up exhibiting obsessive behavior and keep talking bad about me behind my back. wanting a beef and thinking there's a beef between us. Obviously I don't respond to hate with hate. I just shower people with kindness. Even if I don't like their behavior.
Sometimes a situation like this can determine which social circles you can be in. You can't freely talk with other people in the fp's social group without animosity and foul looks from the girl herself. So it can change your life and social position and be debilitating, if someone openly hates you even though you haven't done anything wrong to them, (technically)... it's not anyone can read minds.
I love cases where the couple stays together for years. Because I feel like it was fate and the girl did all that because she loves him. I hate cases where they breakup over something minor and I'm wondering why this girl would put me and possibly other girls through that only for the relationship to not even last.
I was just posting to ask if you've been this overprotective when it comes to your fp? And if you've had experiences with being seen as a potential relationship wrecker.

I deployed two laravel projects with docker, one for api and one for the control panel, how to link two projects storage together

Morning everyone, seeing varying responses to the below situation and wondered if anyone has an up to date answer?
Sat 15 Apr we’ll depart Orlando 07:00, change at JFK arr 09:45, then fly to Heathrow at 20:30.
Delta for the first leg. Virgin for the second. Full ticket sold by Virgin with the Delta leg as a VA codeshare (after they bumped us from the direct MCO LHR flight…). I assume it doesn’t make a difference, but it’s Upper Class. Appears both flights are T4
Will our luggage need to be collected and re-checked later, at JFK?
If it is checked through, does that stop us leaving JFK and jumping on the AirTrain/LIRR to NYC for a bit.
One of our party is travelling with checked-in medical equipment so it’s just so we can work out what to do about luggage storage etc. Virgin special assistance say it will be transferred but I imagine they may not be familiar with that specific airport’s arrangements.

I’m still struggling with sexual sin willingly not fornication I know nobody wants to hear it but.
It’s so annoying I want to change and truly repent truly turn from my ways and go to the Lord but it isn’t out of the love it’s out of fear because of hell and the rapture and the prophecies and everything
Despite fear being put into me me saying I repented me crying out to God
Constantly I just don’t change I want to but my actions say other wise I don’t wanna masturbate and watch porn anymore it doesn’t satisfy me but I got back for more
Always I’m always just procrastinating always telling God ima change but don’t I don’t even read the word anymore
If Jesus was coming soon 2000 years ago how close is he now and seeing he times where in he’s at the door and all I do is waste time I’ve wasted so much time .
And to get into heaven I need to know Jesus he needs to know me i want to truly know him know his voice and to top it all off I’m still trying to give people advice on things they struggle with when I’m still struggling