I’m not talking about doctors who let me get to this stage of lc through lack of knowledge (that’s a whole other issue lol!) I’m talking about friends. This will seem very trivial in comparison to everything else on here; I just need somewhere to let this out. Had long covid since spring 2020 but didn't really ramp up fatigue-wise until late 2020. In august '21 I thought myself well enough to get back into the education system and go to university, ended up even more ill and have been at home since March 2022. I'm very lucky to have two extremely caring parents who have looked after me better than I could have imagined, and a couple of other people in my family have helped financially and emotionally especially a really lovely family friend, but almost everyone else outside these four walls has let me down in some way. I try and just focus on the love shown by my parents and brother, but I’m 19, I need other friends and I used to have them. Any time I let friends know what's going on, their response completely underwhelms me. “Aw bless you” as if I have a cold and not had my whole life ruined for three years, “fair enough” when I describe steps I've been told to take by an actual medical professional as if my recovery plan is just some scheme I've made up to amuse myself…. and the way people treat me, it's not only as if I've chosen to have this illness like some sort of political decision, but there's always the implication that mental strength alone will pull me through and I might not have enough, or that something like this could never happen to them. And I'm sick of people taking the whole "at least” route, trying to find positive things or silver linings for me as if I don't desperately look for hope myself every single day! In march 2022, after the total nightmare that was attempting uni, I told an online friend I now had to be back at home and was devastated, and I was aiming to be better for January 2023. All she said was “oh man, but at least you get to go back in January” (spoiler: I did not get well enough to go back in January, I’m still here). And she has never asked about it since, it’s so weird, it’s like people think it’s this thing I’m trying to use to get attention? I hardly ever mention it to people unless asked anyway so I find it unbelievable that so many people in my life have made me feel like this lol. I just can’t win however I describe what’s going on to people; if I’m brief because I don’t want to overload them, they don’t understand how bad it is, and if I’m honest and tell them as much as I can in one message, I come across really negative and they feel the need to do the whole ‘positivity’ thing. Or if I tell them I have a slightly promising treatment or appointment coming up, they just assume that it will work and I will be better because they have no idea how many times we’re all back and forth with long covid medication etc. and then they’re just confused about why I’m not better yet. I know this all sounds like a massive generalisation, but I used to be able to count on both hands how many friends were there for me, and now it’s pretty much just thumb and index finger lol. When I’m actually honest with people about how awful things are, they never know what to say so they just parrot meaningless phrases ‘I’m here for you’ when they never are, or they just leave me on read. It hurts that especially my friends from my hobby aren’t attempting to understand what this is like for me; we were all really good at music and that’s how we met, and they all know how hard you have to work at it, but when I tell them I haven’t been able to play properly for a year, it’s just crickets… I’m sorry that I sound so bitter, I promise I don’t talk this negatively to these people I’m talking about! It’s just therapeutic to get it all down here. I know at the end of the day it’s still people just getting on with their lives and they don’t mean to hurt me, but it still really does. I would love to hear your experiences with this kind of thing, or if you relate in any way :’)
TL;DR I’ve been constantly shocked and saddened by many of my friends’ reactions to everything that has happened to me with long covid, the lack of sympathy, the lack of effort. And I would love to hear from other people about their experiences with this!

John was bored one night and decided to get to work on something. He didn't know what exactly to do, so he decided to write a story since writing was one of his hobbies. However, John was so bored that he didn't even know what to write about, so that's when he gave up and went right back to bed staring at his vinyl record copy of The Best of Bread resting on his turntable. He was too lazy to at least make an attempt to drop the needle on the record and listen to some music. Instead, he just stared at the ceiling desperately wanting to do something great, but lacking the energy and motivation to do so; he needed some kind of incentive... John suddenly jolted not realizing that he had dosed off, so he decided to call it a night and close his eyes for good till morning. It was 12:37am...
Twisting, turning, and mumbling, John finally woke up not feeling too well, but it was only 2:00am. He stumbled to the bathroom like a blind drunk man to pee and wash his face. He was cold and shivering like a worried puppy trying to shake off the unpleasant dream that he woke from. After he washes his hands, he stares at himself in the mirror recalling the dream he just had...
A white middle aged man was mowing a lawn. The lawn looked like a small version of John's childhood home in Jonesborough Tennessee. The man was wearing a beige straw hat and had a smirk on his face while constantly wiping his sweat. There was no one else around, just the man mowing the lawn. There was something cold and unwelcoming about the lawn mowing man's presence. He never made eye contact with John, yet John felt as though he was looking at him. "But how?" John whispered to himself... The more John wondered that question to himself, the more hostile the presence of the lawnmowing man became. Still, the man never batted an eye at John, but gave the feeling as though he knew everything about John and was watching him like a Hawk... The lawn mowing man's smirk grew larger, more sweat began to pour from his face as he violently swatted his hands across his sunburnt forehead... Suddenly the ambience became louder and louder which resembled a chaotic orchestral crescendo and...
John suddenly snaps back to reality while still gazing at himself in the mirror; he smirks and tries to laugh the dream away, but there was just something so unsettling about the dream that words just couldn't describe. John desperately wanted to forget about the dream and was too scared to go back to bed fearing that the dream may reappear. He gets back in bed and stares at the ceiling once again but accidentally doses off...
John finally sleeps well until morning when he wakes up to briefly eat some cereal and then gets back in bed realizing he doesn't work on Saturdays... It was dark and raining, but no thunder or lighting, just rain. John hears the sound of a lawnmower revving. It comes in and out of audible range. He rolls out of bed like lazy lion and peeks out of the window only to see the lawnmowing man once again. This time however, the lawnmowing man waves with a normal looking smile on his face while politely hollering, "Hi John! How are ya?"
John suddenly springs upward on his bed like a petrified deer unable to move and process what's going on! "Oh crap, it's 2:00pm!" John says to himself feeling like the end of the world is at hand. John's mind slowly starts to wake up as he begins to relax remembering that he doesn't work on Saturdays. But nothing seemed to be able to ease him away from that dreadful dream. Nothing he did could shake that feeling off, it was almost as though the dream really did happen in some unearthly dimension or realm that the human spirit goes to while slumbering... But there it was again, the sound of the lawnmower slowly going in and out of audible range... John chuckles realizing that the active lawnmowing team outside was the reason he dreamed of a lawnmower in his dream... But what about the first dream? he thought to himself...
It was a beautiful sunny day and John wanted to take advantage of the day while also hoping to forget about the unpleasant dream he had. He ate a quick meal and dressed himself for an adventure to the grocery store. He had to pee before leaving, so he went to the bathroom to take care of business... While washing his hands, he stares at himself in the mirror and chuckles again trying to convince himself that it was just a normal dream. "It was literally just a dream about a man mowing the lawn, I mean how is that scary?" he said. "I mean, maybe I was feeling a little sick and that's why such a normal dream felt so terrifying. Oh well, it's normal. Let's go get some groceries and ice cream so that I can focus on that story I want to try to write this time tonight!"
John hits the road in his silver 2012 Mustang leaving nothing but dust and bad bad dreams behind. As he's driving through a suburban area, he notices a man in a beige straw hat mowing their lawn... John chuckles and says, "Haha, see? Totally normal!" John finally arrives at the local grocery store... John parks his Mustang when the sky suddenly turns grey as rush of pale clouds dim the skies. The grocery store looked rather ghostly and depressing. There were many old looking cars that resembled a 2002 Toyota Camry, some with rusting canopies and dirty hubcaps. Out in the distance of the lot, there was a lawnmowing team truck branded with a decal that read Straw Hat Lawncare...
John made his way into the the grocery store and felt a bitter welcome from everyone inside. Nobody glanced at John. Everyone in the store looked like depressed fish passing by each other. There was a Hispanic family talking Spanish. The father was wearing a green jersey and the mother was sporting a pink sweater with grey sweatpants. Their kids were following along while randomly touching items. John was Hispanic as well, but felt no connection around this family. That's when John started to notice that nobody made eye contact with him, even when he said "excuse me" to reach for something. Not the employees, not the local sheriff, not the old lady looking at flowers, nobody... Not that John wanted to be looked at or noticed, but there was something odd about this, almost as if everybody was purposefully told not to make any kind of contact with him. It was a feeling that was hard to explain.
John quickly grabs some groceries to rush over to checkout to test if the cashier would at least say hello or something. But to John's disappointment, the cashier did not even greet John when he set his items down on the checkout countertop. The conveyor belt squeaks every time it moves; it's movement seems so lifeless, just like the cashier... Still, no eye contact whatsoever, not even if he tried to make conversation. The cashier just looked down the whole time. John started to panic inside, something just didn't feel right. It's not all in my head! John thought to himself... John grabs his groceries and heads for the exit when he notices a dirty looking man wearing beige straw hat smoking a cigarette. This man happened to be the only person that glanced at John, but it wasn't a pleasant glance. The man had a grim look on his face... John started to get the feeling that everybody was on to him, and that even the people who were ignoring him were actually very aware of his presence.
John was a good guy, not a saint, but a good-hearted person. He's never caused any harm to anyone and has always been a respectful gentlemen. But why? Why does it feel like these people hate me for no reason? John thought to himself again. Although John was physically being ignored, he got the feeling that everybody was actually looking at him... John quickly paces towards his Mustang. His heart throbbing, muscles tightening, jaw clenching, head aching; John starts his car and glances around. He looks out his right window and sees the dull grocery store. He looks straight ahead and sees the lawnmowing team truck. He looks to his left and sees a man with a beige straw hat right next to the window. The man knocks looking like he was begging for money. John being good hearted lowers the window but the man speaks before John could do anything, "Your back tire is flat!" The man kept repeating the same phrase over and over as if having a flat tire was bad luck. The man reeked of whiskey and tabaco, he had no front teeth and looked like he was wired on methamphetamine or something. "Come on out here and look!" the man exclaimed. "That tire's lookin bad man, you gotta get that fixed. You got one of them spares?" "Yeah, I got a spare." John said. "I got this, don't worry about me." "OF COURSE I'm gon worry bout you brother, that's what we do round here!"
The man starts telling a story about his brother Phil who had a flat tire because he was being shot at by some thugs. The man's story seems to go on forever and John starts to tune out. John glances out in the distance over the man's shoulder; the man's voice begins to get muddled as John focuses on someone getting out of the lawnmowing team truck in the distance. His heart starts to race when he sees another man with a beige straw hat stepping out of the car, except this time, John felt a very hostile vibration. The man in the distance puffed a cloud of smoke when he quickly glanced towards John's way with an evil look on his face... John looks behind and sees another man with a beige straw hat just like the one from his dream. Oddly enough, this man waved and shouted, "Hello! Need some help?"
John's heart started to pound and he almost felt like fainting. Maybe it's just my anxiety. "I've got to go!" John told the whiskey breathed man and cranked on his Mustang. He peeled out of the parking lot like a rabbit fearing for it's life. He could still hear the whiskey breathed man crying, "Hey man! I just wanted to help!" The whiskey breathed man kept crying, "I just wanted to help man! I JUST WANTED TO HELP!!" Tears rolling down his face, down his now sad face, "I just wanted to help you DOOD!! Why? WHY this gotta happen to me man? WHY! Why man? Come on! I JUST WANTED TO HELP!! I just wanted to help! Ahh!! AHHH!!!"
John finally arrived back home and hurried out of his car into his house... Suddenly everything was quiet... Too quiet... Finally, peace. I just have to rest and forget about that dream I had. It's ok, that whiskey breathed man was just really high on meth, he didn't hurt me. I was just really freaked out, that's all. I hope that man will be alright. I feel kind of bad, I didn't want to leave him there all alone. He looked like he was a hurting man, could've used a little company. No, what am I thinking? He was just high. Why should I trust some random meth-head like that? Awe, he's alright. He's cool... I'm tired now, I'm just going to relax and see if I can start that story! Yeah, that'll cheer me up! It's just life, weird stuff happens! But what about... No, forget it... But why was I seeing men with beige straw hats all day like the man in my dream? Nah, I'm overthinking, it was just a hot sunny day today, duh... But what about all of those grim looking people at the store? I felt like they were on to me, like they were all in on it. Oh crap! Maybe they know about my dream! No way, that's not possible... But what if dreams really are connected to real-life? I mean, it's part of life after all... Nah, that's too weird, it's all in my head...
Suddenly, the sound of a 4-stroke engine starts revving... Grass? At this time? It's late evening. John crawls over to his window and sees a man in a beige straw hat cutting the neighbors lawn... "Ahh!!" John jolts upwards biting his nails. He crawls back to his bed and tries to once again justify what's happening... Suddenly, he smells cigarette smoke. "What's that smell?" he says... He slowly glances at a dirty light blue uniform and before he could make out what it is, a raspy voice 'declares, "WE"RE WATCHING YOU..." Another voice says, "WE'RE LOOKING AT YOU, HAPPY NOW?" Another voice answers that one, "LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO DALE JERK! AH HAHA!" "YEAH, YOU'RE SO MEAN FOR LEAVING HIM BEHIND!" "DALE ERA UN BUEN HOMBRE..." Said a Spanish voice...
John slowly looked up and saw an extremely pale faced version of the cashier from the grocery store and still not making eye contact, but three inches away from John saying, "Hi honey, how are ya?" and then repeats the phrase over again, "I SAID HOW ARE YA HONEY? WHAT, CAT GOTCHA TONGUE? WELL I'LL FEED IT TO MUH CATS WHEN I GET HOME THEN! BET CHU DON'T HAVE THE DECENCY TO HELP OUT DALE WITH A LITTLE BIT OF FOOD, DO YA?" She kept shouting at John three inches away while still not making eye contact. "SO? HOW YA DOING HONEY? FIND EVERYTHING YA NEED? HAHAHAHA! YOU SU................
John wakes up again... It's 2:00am. Everything is quiet. Desperately trying to forget the bad dreams and the strange day at the grocery store, he finally decides to drop the needle on the Best of Bread vinyl record. The music is soothing. He begins to drift into slumber once again.
John sleeps in and wakes up at 2:00pm on Sunday, he doesn't work on Sunday's either. John realizes he never got the groceries that he actually needed, so he makes his way to the grocery store once again. on another sunny day. He pulls into the parking lot, but this time they sky stays sunny and blue. The lawn mowing team truck is gone. John makes his way inside the grocery store. This time, a jolly old man greets him as he walks in. "How are you doing young man?" Says the old man. "Fine, thank you." John replies. Today, everybody was acknowledging John and making him feel welcome. Lots of smiles and hellos. There was even another Hispanic family who smiled at John while crossing paths. Even the children seemed happy. Hmm, too suspicious. It's almost like they're watching me and know what happened yesterday.
John grabbed all the items he needed and headed for checkout. He approached the counter and was greeted by the same cashier from last time. This time she actually speaks to John... "Hey honey, how are ya?" Says the cashier with a cute smile. "Great, how are you? John replies. "Oh honey, I had such a busy day yesterday! First I had to go see my doctor because of my back pain, then my car ran out of gas and I had to tell my hubby to help me out. Then he starts going off on me about how these lawn mowing guys woke him up at 5 in the mornin' and I told him, honey, they just doin' they job. Oh honey, today is much better, it's a beautiful day and my back feels better." Something about this doesn't seem right... She knows... She knows and she's playing around with me... Everybody is... No, I'm just being paranoid. Forget it, today is a great day!
John makes his way back to his mustang with a kart full of groceries... "HEY DOOD!!" suddenly screams the whiskey breathed man from behind. "Whoa man, you scared me!" Says John. "Oh I'm sorry man, didn't mean to startle ya.. Hey, I noticed you got a spare tire now. Good job buddy! Hey listen man, I'm feeling happy today a.. a.. and I just want to give you my hat!" John looks at the beige straw hat... "Are you sure?" John asks. "Yeah man, go on and take it, it's time I let go of somethings in life. I'm trying to start a new life man and stay away from theses drugs out here man. You go on an take it, it has good luck man!" John accepts and takes the hat. The man smiles. John smiles. "Hey I'll see ya later DOOD!"
It's 12:37am and John is staring at the beige straw hat that the whiskey breathed man gave him... John lugged out his vintage 1970's typewriter and was finally in the mood to write. He knew what he wanted to start with, but just right before he was about to type the letter L with his ring finger, the sound of a 4-stroke engine starts revving...
​
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WERE LOOKING AT YOU. WE KNOW WHO YOU ARE. HOW YA DOING HONEY?

This piece recounts the first time I drank an ancient plant medicine called Ayahuasca. It comes from Amazonian tribes who consider it a sacred plant medicine with healing powers and, given what a hugely beneficial impact it has had on my life, I am very comfortable describing it as medicine.
One Saturday, in the spring of 2016 I was greeted by the medicine man himself with a big hug, let’s call him Blu. I came into his kitchen to be greeted by several women with slightly comical homemade, feather headdresses and couldn’t help but think I’d walked into a kid’s birthday party. In the garden, there was a small festival tent set up which had a hay bale altar with easter decorations.
The ceremony had around 30 other participants and 10 shamans. In the middle of the tent stood the medicine man’s wife, Sun who was very much the master of the ceremony. She had the most daring headdress, flowing orange robes and a rattle in her hand. She spoke to us with warm, friendly humour telling us that we would know the medicine had kicked in once her singing started to sound good!
She advised that each experience is unique and we should try not to have huge expectations, sometimes nothing at all happens the first time. Having waited five years for this day I was quietly confident that this would not be the case for me and boy was I right!
We went around the circle introducing ourselves and explained what we were hoping to get out of the ceremony. Focusing on your intent during a psychedelic experience is meant to help you get what you are looking for.
During my turn, I expressed my desire to regain my self-confidence and passion for the opportunities and women in my life to whom I never seem to be able to fully commit.
Once we had all shared, we learned that it was time to drink.
My heart was filled with profound forbearing and excitement as I went up to receive a small glass of harsh-tasting, brown liquid which certainly tasted like medicine!
I had a basic camping mattress and a duvet laid out for me which I snuggled into before pulling on my eye mask. I was on my back trying not to think too much about the medicine, whether it was working or maybe wouldn’t work while I meditated for an hour.
The shamans started singing and shaking rattles. One of the female shamans, Nubia had an incredibly beautiful soprano voice that stood out from the others. It was while listening to the song of the shamans that I started to feel a warm flow of energy along my limbs. I tried to dismiss it at first, thinking it might somehow be related to my fasting for 40 hours prior.
When I moved my eye mask to let some light into my eyes I saw the tent roof overlaid with a flowing grid of beautiful, metallic, geometric grids with multi-coloured light flowing through the lines. The Individual elements of the grid reflected every colour of the rainbow like oil on water’s surface and I started to feel joyful, like a child rolling through leaves on a warm autumn day.
Nubia started singing to us again and it was like nothing I’d ever heard. It was so beautiful and mesmerizing I didn’t want her to stop.
I could hear the people around me, some giggling and some vomiting or, purging medicine into their buckets. I checked myself, asking if should I purge but I felt a gentle presence speak inside of me saying: ‘No, you’re fine. Just relax.’

They call this presence Mother Ayahuasca. The reason people drink the brew is to speak with and receive her guidance.

My eye mask was back on my face and I turned into the fetal position with the duvet pulled over my head I felt exceptionally comfy with this strange yet familiar presence as I started to explore the un-intimidating hallucinogenic world within my mind. She showed me complex pictures of flowing energy with multicoloured lights in perfect alignment while I was gently gliding along, watching the beautiful colourful spectacle.
It was around this time that Sun asked into the ceremony if anybody would like a second dose. I slowly sat upright and looked around. I checked myself. Truthfully, I was enjoying the experience. I was slightly nervous that having more could take me to a deeper, darker place however I had mentally prepared myself for the full immersion experience.
The presence told me: ‘It’s okay. You can handle it. I’ll be gentle.’
So I pulled on my shoes, got up and slowly walked over feeling slightly wobbly. I was worried Sun might tell me I’d had enough but when I sat in front of her, she gave me a big smile and beckoned me towards her. The second dose was about half the previous one and tasted familiar, not quite as harsh.
After I got up I walked out of the tent into the house. Sitting in the small toilet I saw the walls gently rippling with energy and recognized the phenomenon from previous psychedelic experiences. I’ve experienced mild, LSD-induced hallucinations before but nothing quite as mesmerizing as watching bright sparks of colorful energy emerging from objects and pictures.
Snuggling back under my duvet I listened to the rattles and felt myself floating deeper into the kaleidoscopic universe seeing my own body curled up but instead of my skin and flesh, I saw myself as streaming veins of energy. Millions of thin fibre optic threads pulsated with warm healing energy which outlined my body.
I felt myself lying on the floor in the jungle with mystical symbols and ineffable tribal figures around me. I felt like I was in a different, timeless dimension however I was surprisingly lucid and could snap out of it to check myself with ease. At some point I had to giggle as my boring pragmatist made the smart-ass remark, ‘You’re not lying in the jungle. You’re in a garden less than 100 meters from the Thames estuary!’
I had my eyes closed for most of the afternoon. I was seeing ever richer patterns. When I opened my eyes the patterns were still there but they were overlaid on the reality in front of my eyes. I could change them with the blink of an eye or bring back shapes I had seen previously.
I started thanking this entity for showing me all this beauty and felt the urge to reciprocate. I revealed some personal memories but they looked so very different. It seemed like they had a photo filter applied that filled the memory with golden light as they came alive with breathtaking beauty, streaming with colourful energy. I visited various life moments and it felt like entering into a photo and suddenly being there on that day!
I was there sitting in our garden at home. Once again I was a chubby baby covering my face with baked beans. I was actually there! I was picking the baked beans off my face and pushing them, one by one into my mouth.
They say that Mother Ayahuasca is a deep ancient spirit and I always imagined her as a deeply serious, majestic queen. I started wondering what she might look like… and so she appeared.
She was stern but not an old woman. Aya was young, perfectly matched to my age and exceptionally beautiful. She had long, smooth brown hair and big beautiful eyes filled with power and inspiration. As I looked closer at her exquisite face I realized that her features were constantly changing complexion. Her skin cycled from Amazonian to Latin to Nubian to Oriental and Mediterranean. She was outlined by swirling rainbow-coloured curls of light. The rest of her naked body only came into being when I directly looked at it. I realize that she was not one woman but a combination of every beautiful woman I’ve ever felt attracted to. I wanted her. She wanted me. We kissed and whirled around as we floated through my Entheoverse. My body of swirling rainbow energy flowed into her and hers into mine and this is how we made love passionately.
I had visions of us being on a summer weekend getaway in a stylish city. We lay in luxurious hotel rooms and I remember a cream-coloured clock on the wall, with Roman numerals but no hands to tell the time. I was dressed smartly as I led her by her hand into classy restaurants that had champagne poured, waiting by our table. It was like we were on a never-ending date, teleporting from one experience into the next, eloping while taking our time to enjoy each other’s energy, and passionately loving one another.
Afterwards, she lay in my arms and I asked what else she could show me and she replied; ‘What else would you like me to show you?’ I wasn’t prepared for this and my mind went a bit blank realizing that I could do anything, go anywhere in space and time I wanted.
I asked her; ‘Can you help me find my confidence?’
There was no clear answer. Instead, I had the random idea to become the temple stem of my friend Julio’s glasses. I looked at him from the bit next to the hinge and I could see him put the glasses on in the morning, and take them off at night and in the reflection of his right eye, I saw him coming home and watched his beautiful daughter jumping into his arms. Then I saw on his eyeball the reflection of me walking into the room and a felt warm glow spread through me.
Next, I visited my baby nephew sitting in my brother’s living room, in his red chair. I crossed my hands on my chest like he does and saw my brother and his wife smiling at me giving me warm hugs but more than seeing their faces while they hugged my body I could feel the way they felt when they put their arms around me and press me to their chests.
I saw all my brother’s smiles and happy faces as we jollied about, trying to make each other laugh as we do. I visited all my closest friends, took in their smiles and one by one, as I hugged each of them, I could feel their love for me.

Later I realized that Aya was indeed trying to give me confidence by showing me how much the people in my life care for me

I visited the girl I had just started dating called Anna whose raw energy I find simply irresistible. I came into her new apartment that I’d never visited before. She was standing in sexy lingerie by a floor-to-ceiling window looking down onto the busy Tottenham Court road. I remember her turning her beautiful face as I approached, touching it with ten fingers and kissing her lips passionately as we erupted into rainbow swirls of energy.
I also visited my ex-girlfriend Jo, whose body and spiritual mind I still loved but whose soul is too damaged by the fear of rejection and tough mental armour I never managed to vanquish.
She was asleep in our white room in LA that she had so carefully decorated and I spooned my energy into her little body. She woke and we cuddled and kissed and I said I was sorry it didn’t work out between us and she replied; ‘It’s ok. I wasn’t ready for you…’
I asked Aya if we had made the right decision to stop forcing it and just be friends and felt her nod wisely.
At some point, I remember all three of us lying in bed together but instead of feeling like the king of the world, I felt like a greedy pig.
One of the underlying themes of the whole journey was how slowly gently and unhurried everything felt and I think the lesson I was meant to learn was that it’s ok to not settle right now — I thought I just haven’t found the one, the right woman to share my life with…
Aya kept giving me gentle advice throughout. I asked her about the stimulants I love such as cannabis, coffee and alcohol but instead of the stern telling-off I was secretly hoping to receive she told me; ‘You know they don’t serve you when you abuse them but they are also a part of what shaped you… Take care of the beautiful body you have been given.’
She repeated many times; Take care of yourself more… take care.
I asked Aya how I could find the power to harness my mind which has always been blessed and cursed with a distracting imagination and to keep my lack of attention from killing my dreams.
Instantly, I saw an unreal version of myself.
I was standing in something like a black shiny display window, straight out of a Mercedes advert. This guy was not merely a little bit better than I am now and I realized that the version staring back at me was my best self!
That guy is sharp, he is determined, and he dresses immaculately. That guy knows exactly what he is doing. When he enters the room, people notice his presence from the invisible halo that brightly surrounds him.
I asked Aya, how I could become him and the answer became clear. That guy works. He knows exactly where his energy comes from and all of a sudden I understood — The confident image he projects comes from the love he feels for himself which makes him look loved and successful in other people’s eyes. There is no room for distraction because that guy knows his worth and knows his purpose.
She gave me such a clear image of myself. I can still see myself standing motionless in the black, shiny shop window with rainbow-coloured fibre optic strains lighting the air that gently flowed around me.
How long I lay like that is impossible to say but I guess it was around 5–6 hours but it felt like an eternity of journeying into myself.
But it wasn’t all just warm energy and neon colours. I distinctly remember at some point realizing, it was time to go to the toilet. Afterwards, I walked back into the garden and found the Ewok-faced little terrier yapping at me. I laughed at him as I noticed the blue silver and chrome energy swirls around his head and ears. I couched down to see if I could pacify him but I suddenly became aware that his barking must be interfering with other people’s experiences. I turned to hurry into the tent as one of the shamans came out, to tell off the dog saying; ‘What’s wrong doggy, he’s alright!’ As I walked into the tent there were certainly more people sitting upright than when I had left and I read some irritated expressions on people’s faces, at least three people got up and walked out.
I lay down in shame but all my friend’s energy avatars ran up to me saying ‘It’s fine!’ as they doggy piled on top of me. It made me feel better. I felt them warm the cold shame out of me and I began relaxing again. I played around as before but the energy had markedly changed, it didn’t feel as light-hearted anymore. It was heavier and more serious. I was feeling the effects of the medicine becoming even stronger so I decided to sit up but when I opened my eyes, I saw Nubia hit the deck at my feet on a hastily arranged bed after having just purged into a bucket. I could see vomit in her black wavy hair as I started to think, ‘…oh dear if even the shamans are starting to falter, I’m in trouble.’
I didn’t know what to do. I tried to lie back down again. I asked Aya to help me, as she had several times previously when I’d gotten a little bit frightened but this time I could not sense her presence and I knew why. I had to go through this for myself.
It felt like I was sitting in a shopping trolley, rolling down a steep hill toward darkness, realizing as it picked up speed and bucked to and fro that this had been a bad decision, a dangerous idea and the only way it would end would be for the momentum to collide with suffering.
I needed help so I weakly put up my hand and within a few seconds, one of the shamans sat down next to me. She was wearing a white feather dress and occoured to me like an angel. She helped me sit up and as soon as I was sitting upright I began to retch. She passed me my bucket which I gratefully barfed into…
After I purged I felt better. My angel asked me if I felt okay again and I asked her to stay with me and hold my hand for a while longer, which she did. I gently leaned over and rested my head on her feathery bosom and felt a sense of peace and strength flow back into me. I saw my energy self, the swirling electrons of light curling my limbs as I sat cross-legged, hunched over like a bear cub being cradled by his mother bear.
She helped me lie back down and I started to return to my technicoloured dream state. I asked Aya if we could make love again and she said ‘Of course’ but it felt different, when I opened my inner eye to see the face of the person I was entangled with I saw my own. Aya had taken on my form and this might well be the strangest thing I’ve ever written but I was exceptionally attracted to myself and I realized that this could be how girls who are in bed with me see me. I could feel the burning desire a girl feels when we make love. It felt strange but also good.

They said Ayahuasca show you not what you want to see but rather what you need to see at any specific point in your life.

I visited countless friends, some people no longer in my life becouse we have grown apart and even those whose who have passed away. I visited my German grandparents and told them how much I loved them.
While I cuddled Oskar, the dog I grew up with, and played with him in our garden I looked up to see my dad approach us with tears in his eyes. I knew what he was going to say. When he told me that my grandmother had died I didn’t run away in confusion as I had on that day, instead, I went to hug my mom and for the first time, I empathized with the pain she had felt in that moment of hearing that her mother had passed.
I visited my friend Keith whose passing I have always felt a slight responsibility for since I know he read my travel blog and went to Costa Rica a month after I’d been there where he swam out to sea and drowned. I hugged him tightly and cried gently but he grabbed me firmly by the shoulders and said; ‘It wasn’t you! It wasn’t you…’
I visited my old school friend Alex who I had not been close to but whose misfortune to be on flight 447 still touched me. I told him and his beautiful fiance whom I’d never met that I was so sorry for them having been so frightened when they died but instead of me comforting them, they hugged and comforted me as I lay there silently crying for the people I missed. But it was not painful. Quite the opposite, it felt cathartic, like I was letting out the pain and healing myself.
At some point, while it was still light out Sun said “OK, I know that some of you are still on your journey but we will start having some food soon so if you want to share what you experienced now is the time.” I listened to some of the reports.
Several people said that they had a very rough ride because they had tried to fight it. One girl even said she was convinced she was dying. I felt very lucky and grateful for my gentle, warm ride through my multi-coloured Enthenoverse and wondered if I would ever return…
When it was my turn I said that I had finally been able to see how my friends and family see me and why they think I am awesome which will give me the confidence to finally believe that I am awesome (that got a laugh :). I also shared my new appreciation for how profoundly beautiful my life has been up until now and hoped that it will give me the strength to stop comparing myself to others, to focus on my own path and become my best self.

10 weeks later

My life has undeniably changed over the last 10 weeks.
The following day I drove back to my rented shepherd’s hut in a nature reserve and had an exceptionally rich experience walking through the marshes. The sun was shining and everything seemed so intensely beautiful. I was moved just by watching something as simple as a male and a female bird fly across the water in perfect sync. It made me well up emotionally.
I’ve cried a lot recently and I believe it’s a good thing. I cry on most days.
Usually, it happens when I see someone doing something kind and for a brief moment I get overwhelmed and shed a tear. But again, they are not tears of pain they are usually tears of joy and I feel like I have become much more in touch with my emotions.
It feels like bringing Aya’s female spirit into my awareness has tripped a switch in my brain making me more feminine, hence a more complete human being. I’ve also started to care more about my appearance. My mum commented recently that I looked different and she is right. I’ve been working out more. I get my hair cut more frequently and I’ve even gone and bought new clothes that dress me with more style, even when it’s not particularly necessary.
My work attitude has also changed. I find myself a lot more productive and capable of operating at a higher level while enjoying the entire experience so much more!
I honestly feel more in control of my life. I feel focused on who I am, who I can become and what I can achieve. Previously my decisions in life seemed more vague and fuzzy.
Above all, I feel the happiest that I have felt since childhood. The last 10 weeks have been almost like a too-good-to-be-true dream for me.
I’m also positively influencing the people around me. My grandfather wrote me the following sentence after my most recent visit.
You have this mysterious gift of raising the spirits of people both just by being there and by your gift of empathy.

Epilogue

I have indeed had more Ayahuasca ceremonies since I first wrote this and even though there was a 4 year gap between my 4th and my 5th experience I have felt the effect compound over time. I will be publishing more of my trip reports over on medium and would appreciate your supporting me by following me over there where I also publish contant whihc is not just psychedilic in nature. https://medium.com/@hi_niels

Raven smirked as her brother lies defeated against a pillar, with him struggling to stand back up against her. He put up quite the struggle, truly. But he was never really able to defeat her in a fight when they were kids, and that was even more true now.
The gulf between them was simply far too wide, Maiden Powers or not.
"Well, dear brother. It's been fun catching up with you and all, but I have an agreement to hold up." Raven deduced as Qrow fell to his knees again, completely spent.
She soon felt a wave of explosive heat coming off behind her. She turned her head slightly to see that Yang had surrounded herself in a blazing inferno, eyes glowing bright red, her golden main glowing brightly.
"Y-Yang...?" Ruby murmurs in surprise, with Yang extending a hand in front of her to keep everyone's eyes off of her, especially the vengeful Cinder.
"I'm tired of this shit, Raven! It's time for all this to stop!" Yang exclaimed.
"Oh? 'Raven'? You don't wish to acknowledge me as your mother anymore?" Raven hummed amusedly.
Yang stomped the ground, sending a wave of flames outwards that pushed Mercury and Emerald back against the walls, and briefly staggered Hazel.
"I can't believe you'd throw your lot in with these people! They made a mess of Beacon and either got our friends killed or killed them themselves! They conspired with the White Fang! One of their heaviest hitters hacked my damn arm off!" Yang glared as she waved her prosthetic arm across. "Don't you care at all?!"
Raven folded her arms. "It sounds like you've been through your own share of hardships. But you've survived and became stronger. You have to realize, Yang, that life in this world can become unforgiving without warning. And if you're not prepared to deal with that..."
"Oh. Ohhhh, I'm prepared to deal, alright. More than you think! If you're gonna stand there and be an enemy, then go right ahead! But I'm gonna do whatever I have to to protect Ruby!" She raised her fist in the air as blazing heat began gathering around it. "Even if it means I gotta take you out!"
Raven actually laughed uproariously, palming her head and shaking it. "You? Take me out? Yang, I acknowledge that you've come a long way, very far in fact. But you're still far too soft." Raven tilted her head with a confident smile, calling Yang's bluff and willing to humor it. "Simply put, no matter what reasons you have, you just don't have the guts to attack your own mother."
In response, Yang gathers Aura ar the end of her fist, which began glowing brighter and hotter, flames swirling around the golden sphere. Yang's eyes blazed red, her hair whipping about in a wildfire. Raven's eyes, after a second of realization, soon widened as they locked with Yang's furious ones.
Then Yang swung her fist.
A giant, spherical torrent of flames blasts right into Raven and burns a hole in the side of Haven, sending her far outwards into the forests, leaving flaming craters in its wake. After four seconds, there was soon a fiery explosion that incinerated several yards of forest in a bright blaze of heat.
Ruby and Qrow's eyes widened at the destruction, as Yang breathed several breaths as her flames continued to spiral around her, eyes glowing red.
"...I don't have the guts to attack you?" Yang huffed while standing in the midst of her flames, spitting to the side and wiping her mouth afterwards. "Funny, cause I'm pretty damn sure I just did exactly that."
Far outside of Haven, lying in a fiery burning crater, was Raven Branwen. She was gazing up towards the sky, blinking in genuine bewilderment at what had just transpired. While attack had stung quite a bit, she was mostly no worse for wear overall. The attack did more to her mental and emotional state than it did her physical state.
"...Well, I'll be damned. My daughter actually has a backbone." Raven uttered calmly as she slowly stood up and brushed dirt off of her armor and skirt. After a moment of contemplation, she smirked. "I can't quite let her get away with decking me like that...but I also wanna reward her."
Besides, if my own brat can gather enough guts to attack me in defense of her sister...then what the hell does that say about my own backbone?
Outdone by her daughter? That was just a bit too much for Raven's taste. She had no intentions of joining this fight, but she's realized walking away from it wasn't that simple anymore, either. It was like that punch mostly knocked a bit of sense into her, even if only slightly.
She didn't want the Relic anymore, but Salem getting her hands on it would be eventually disastrous. And allowing Ozpin's little band to get it? She had absolutely no desire to join them. Qrow could do whatever he wants for all she cared, but Ozpin getting the Relic would just put her daughter even further into Salem's crosshairs, and currently her strength wouldn't be enough against Salem's forces as it is.
A deeply buried, long thought dead maternal instinct in her heart, could not accept that as an outcome.
So, it would seem that the best course of action would be to kill Salem's strongest piece, Cinder Fall, and just leave the Vault closed without anyone aside from Vernal ever knowing who the Spring Maiden is, rendering the Knowledge Relic inaccessible. With any luck, Cinder's sheer hatred towards Summer's brat would transfer the Fall Maiden's powers towards her as she dies. It would no doubt leave Ruby a massive target as well for said Maiden powers, but it would at least give them all a fighting chance without Raven herself fighting for them, so long as Yang and their friends would there to protect her. That power would be a massive burden on the girl, but it was better than standing against Salem's forces without such immense power, in order to give that foolish courage a proper foundation.
It's for the brat's own good. She insists on protecting who she hasn't lost, but even with her Silver Eyes she lacks the strength and the skill to live up to her own promises. This would at least fix the former issue while she catches up with the latter.
A strong sense of justice, wanting to protect and provide for family and loved ones, and having loyalty and faith in a worthy cause. None of these will mean a thing, if one lacks the power to protect them. Tenacity and emotions could only go so far on their own, and Ruby was about to hit the wall that hard stops either from mattering. Raven could see it. So she could at least do this much for Summer's daughter.
As for the rest of her Raven's Tribe...
...
...The Branwen tribe has survived long enough. Time to cut it loose.
Having made her decision, Raven decided to return to Haven to put her new plan into action.
It was her gift to Yang, for showing her her inner strength.

The Big List Disney codes are split & do not include the GP portion, but the DMI points are included. All Sony titles include points as long as the title is eligible. Please only redeem the portion of a code you are paying for. Prices are firm for now. I accept Cashapp, Venmo, Zelle, Fb pay & PayPal F&F. Comment & pm if interested. Thanks!

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$4 4K UHD

Allied [2016] (Vudu)
Ant Man & The Wasp (iTunes/ports + 150 points)
Beauty & The Beast [1991] (iTunes/ports + 150 points)
Captain America: Civil War (iTunes/ports + 150 points)
Despicable Me [2010] (iTunes/ports)
Guardians Of The Galaxy (iTunes/ports + 150 points)
Hell Or High Water (Vudu)
Sonic The Hedgehog 2 (iTunes)
Spiral: From The Book Of Saw (Vudu or iTunes)
Sting, The [1973] (iTunes/ports)
Terminator: Dark Fate (Vudu)
Top Gun (iTunes)
Toy Story (iTunes/ports + 150 points)
🦝

$5 HD

Bram Stoker's Dracula + Mary Shelly's Frankenstein double feature (MA)
Dentist 1 & 2, The (Vudu)
Elysium & District 9 bundle (MA)
Jerry & Marge Go Large (Vudu HD or iTunes 4K)
Rescuers: Down Under, The (MA + 150 points)
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$4 HD

Alien3 [Theatrical] (MA, iTunes or Google Play/ports)
Alien: Resurrection (MA, iTunes or Google Play/ports) or both for $7
Company Of Heroes [2013] (MA)
Ever After: A Cinderella Story [1998] (MA)
How To Train Your Dragon 1 & 2 bundle (MA)
Jungle Book, The [1967] (MA + 150 points)
Legion Of Super-Heroes (MA)
Lilo & Stitch (MA + 150 points)
Lilo & Stitch 2: Stitch Has A Glitch (MA + 150 points)
Lion King 1 & ½, The (MA + 150 points)
Men [A24] (Vudu or Google Play)
Minions + Minions: The Rise Of Gru double feature (MA)
Nightmare Before Christmas, The (MA + 150 points)
Step Brothers [Theatrical & Unrated] (MA)
Transporter, The [2002] (MA or Google Play/ports)
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$3️⃣ Movies

#$3 4K UHD
American Assassin (Vudu)
Avengers: Age Of Ultron (iTunes/ports + 150 points)
Big Hero 6 (iTunes/ports + 150 points)
Birth Of A Nation, The (iTunes/ports)
Captain Marvel (MA + 200 points)
Everest [2015] (iTunes/ports)
Interstellar (iTunes)
Midway [2019] (Vudu or iTunes)
Moana (iTunes/ports + 150 points)
Rambo: First Blood (iTunes)
Star Wars: Rise Of Skywalker (iTunes/ports + 150 points)
Transformers: The Last Knight (Vudu)
Zootopia (iTunes/ports + 150 points)
🦝

$3 HD

Batman & Superman: Battle Of The Super Sons (MA)
Black Widow [2021] (MA + 150 points)
Book Of Life, The [2014] (MA or iTunes/ports)
Cosmic Sin (Vudu or iTunes)
Cruella (MA + 150 points)
Doctor Strange In The Multiverse Of Madness (MA + 150 points)
Dolittle [2020] (MA)
Drive [2011] (MA + Sony points)
Encanto (MA + 150 points)
Eternals [2021] (MA + 150 points)
How To Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World (MA)
Joe [2014] (Vudu)
Jungle Book, The [1967] (MA only/no points)
Legends Of Oz: Dorothy's Return (MA)
Les Misérables [1998] (MA)
Lightyear [2022] (MA + 150 points)
Lilo & Stitch (Google Play/ports)
Lilo & Stitch 2: Stitch Has A (Google Play/ports) or both for $5
London Has Fallen (iTunes/ports)
Moonlight [A24] (Vudu)
Night At The Museum [2006] (MA)
Northman, The [2022] (MA)
Peter Pan [1953] (MA + 150 points)
Phantom Thread (MA)
Rescuers, The (Google Play/ports)
Rescuers: Down Under, The (Google Play/ports)
Shang Chi & The Legend Of The Ten Rings (MA + 150 points)
Sleight [2017] (iTunes/ports)
Spider-Man: No Way Home (MA + Sony points)
Still Alice (MA + Sony points)
This Is The End (MA + Sony points)
Thor: Love & Thunder (MA + 150 points)
Top Gun (Vudu)
Unholy, The [2021] (MA + Sony points)
Wedding Ringer, The (MA + Sony points)
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All codes are $2. Prices are firm for now. Please only redeem the you are paying for. Any Disney codes are split. MA/iTunes Disney will include points but not the GP redeem. All Sony titles include points as long as the title is eligible. If you have any questions feel free to ask. I accept Cashapp, Venmo, Zelle, Fb pay or PayPal F&F. Comment & pm if interested. Thanks for checking out my list.
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💲2️⃣ HDX

12 Years A Slave (MA)
21 Jump Street (MA + Sony points)
2 Guns (MA or iTunes/ports)
Action Point (iTunes 4K)
Adventures Of Tintin, The (Vudu or iTunes)
Age Of Adaline, The (Vudu, iTunes or Google Play)
Alien Covenant (iTunes/ports 4K or HD MA/GP)
All Eyez On Me (iTunes)
Alvin & The Chipmunks: The Road Chip (iTunes/ports 4K or HD MA)
Amazing Spider-Man, The (MA)
Amazing Spider-Man 2, The (MA + Sony points)
American Girl: McKenna Shoots For The Stars (MA or iTunes/ports)
American Reunion [Unrated] (MA or iTunes/ports)
Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues (Vudu or iTunes)
Ant Man (Google Play/ports)
Apollo 13 (MA)
Arrival [2016] (Vudu)
Assassin's Creed (iTunes/ports 4K or HD MA)
Bad Boys For Life (MA + Sony points)
Bad Grandpa (iTunes)
Batman, The [2022] (MA)
Battleship [2012] (iTunes/ports 4K)
Beauty & The Beast [2017] (MA + 150 points/iTunes option is expired)
Beguiled, The [2017] (MA or iTunes/ports)
Big Wedding, The (iTunes)
Black Widow [2021] (Google Play/ports)
Book Club (Vudu)
Boss Baby, The (MA)
Bourne Identity, The (MA)
Bourne Legacy, The (iTunes/ports 4K)
Brian Banks (MA)
Bridge Of Spies (Google Play/ports)
Cabin In The Woods, The (Vudu/GP HD or iTunes 4K)
Captain Underpants: The First Epic Movie (MA)
Case For Christ, The (iTunes/ports)
Chi-Raq (Vudu)
Choice, The [2016] (Vudu)
Contraband (iTunes/ports)
Cruella (Google Play/ports)
Daddy's Home (Vudu HD or iTunes 4K)
Darkest Hour [2017] (MA)
Deepwater Horizon (iTunes 4K)
Despicable Me [2010] (MA)
Despicable Me 2 (iTunes/ports 4K)
Diary Of A Wimpy Kid: Dog Days (MA)
Diary Of A Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul (MA or iTunes/ports)
Divergent (iTunes 4K)
Divergent Series: Insurgent (iTunes 4K)
Django Unchained (Vudu)
Doctor Strange In The Multiverse Of Madness (Google Play/ports)
Dragonheart: Battle For The Heartfire (MA)
Duff, The (iTunes)
Dying Of The Light (Vudu)
Edward Scissorhands (MA)
Emoji Movie, The (MA + Sony points)
Ender's Game (iTunes 4K or Google Play HD)
Epic [2013] (MA or iTunes/ports)
E.T. The Extra Terrestrial (MA)
Ex Machina (Vudu)
Expendables 3, The (Vudu 4K)
Fast & Furious 6, The [Extended] (iTunes/ports 4K)
Fifty Shades Darker [Unrated] (iTunes/ports 4K)
Fifty Shades Of Grey [Unrated] (iTunes/ports 4K)
Finding Dory (iTunes/ports 4K or HD + 150 points)
Flight [2012] (Vudu or iTunes)
Frozen (iTunes/ports 4K or HD MA + 150 points)
Gambler, The [2015] (Vudu or iTunes)
Gemini Man (iTunes 4K or Vudu HD)
Ghostbusters [2016] [Theatrical & Extended] (MA + Sony points)
G.I. Joe: Retaliation (Vudu HD or iTunes 4K)
Girl On The Train, The [2016] (iTunes/ports 4K)
God's Not Dead 2 (iTunes/ports)
God's Not Dead: A Light In Darkness (MA)
Gods Of Egypt (Vudu/GP HD or iTunes 4K)
Good Day To Die Hard, A [Extended] (MA or Google Play/ports)
Grace Unplugged (Vudu)
Greatest Showman, The (MA)
Grey, The [2012] (MA or iTunes/ports)
Hacksaw Ridge (Vudu or Google Play)
Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters [Unrated] (Vudu or iTunes)
Hardcore Henry (MA or iTunes/ports)
Hateful Eight, The (Vudu or Google Play)
Haunting In Connecticut 2: The Ghosts Of Georgia, The (Vudu)
Heat, The [2013] (MA)
Heaven Is For Real (MA + Sony points)
Hell Or High Water (Vudu or Google Play)
Hercules [2014] (Vudu HD or iTunes 4K)
Hidden Figures (iTunes/ports 4K or HD MA)
Home [2015] (MA)
Home Alone (iTunes/ports 4K or HD MA/GP)
Home Alone 2: Lost In New York (MA, iTunes or Google Play/ports)
Hope Springs [2012] (MA)
How To Train Your Dragon 2 (MA)
Hugo (Vudu or iTunes)
Hunger Games, The (iTunes 4K)
Hunger Games: Catching Fire, The (iTunes 4K or Google Play HD)
Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part, The (iTunes 4K)
Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 2, The (iTunes 4K)
Huntsman: Winter's War, The [Extended] (iTunes/ports 4K)
I Can Only Imagine (Vudu, iTunes or Google Play)
Ice Age: Continental Drift (MA)
Independence Day: Resurgence (iTunes/ports 4K or HD MA/GP)
Interstellar (Vudu or Google Play)
It's A Wonderful Life [1947] (Vudu)
Jackass 3 [Theatrical] (Vudu or iTunes)
Jack Reacher: Never Go Back (Vudu)
Jarhead 2: Field Of Fire [Unrated] (MA)
Jason Bourne (iTunes/ports 4K)
Jaws (MA)
John Wick (iTunes 4K or Vudu/GP HD)
John Wick Chapter 3: Parabellum (iTunes 4K)
Jumanji: Welcome To The Jungle (MA + Sony points)
Jungle Cruise (MA + 150 points)
Jurassic Park III [2001] (MA)
Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom (MA)
Kick-Ass 2 (MA or iTunes/ports)
Killer Elite (iTunes/ports)
Kingsman: The Golden Circle (iTunes/ports 4K or HD MA)
Kingsman: The Secret Service (iTunes/ports 4K or HD MA)
Kung Fu Panda 3 (MA)
Last Stand, The [2013] (Vudu, iTunes or Google Play)
Last Witch Hunter, The (Vudu/GP HD or iTunes 4K)
Lee Daniels' The Butler (Vudu)
Legend Of Hercules, The (Vudu/GP HD or iTunes 4K)
Little Mermaid, The (Google Play/ports)
Logan (iTunes/ports 4K or HD MA)
Lone Survivor (iTunes/ports 4K)
Longest Ride, The (iTunes/ports 4K or HD MA)
Lorax, The [2012] (MA or iTunes/ports)
Love & Mercy [2015] (Vudu)
Luca (Google Play/ports)
Lucy (iTunes/ports 4K)
Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted (MA)
Maggie (Vudu)
Marauders (Vudu)
Marvel's The Avengers [2012] (Google Play/ports)
Mechanic: Resurrection (Vudu/GP HD or iTunes 4K)
Mindgamers (MA)
Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol (iTunes 4K)
Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation (iTunes 4K)
Mountain Between Us, The (iTunes/ports 4K or HD MA)
Mr. Peabody & Sherman (MA)
Mud (Vudu)
Mummy, The [2017] (iTunes/ports)
Murder On The Orient Express [2017] (MA)
Night At The Museum: Secret Of The Tomb (iTunes/ports 4K or HD MA)
Noah [2014] (Vudu or iTunes)
Non-Stop [2014] (MA or iTunes/ports)
Now You See Me 2 (iTunes 4K)
Other Woman, The [2014] (MA, iTunes or Google Play/ports)
Overlord [2019] (Vudu)
Oz The Great & Powerful (MA + 100 points)
Pain & Gain (Vudu)
Paper Towns (iTunes/ports 4K or HD MA)
Paranormal Activity [Theatrical] (Vudu or iTunes)
Paranormal Activity 3 [Extended] (iTunes)
Paul [2011] [Unrated] (iTunes/ports)
Percy Jackson: Sea Of Monsters (MA or Google Play/ports)
Peter Pan [1953] (Google Play/ports)
Pet Sematary [2019] (Vudu)
Pirate Fairy, The (Google Play/ports
Pitch Perfect (iTunes/ports 4K)
Pitch Perfect 2 (iTunes/ports 4K)
Planes [2013] (MA + 150 points)
Possession, The [2012] (iTunes)
Prometheus (MA)
Purge: Anarchy, The (iTunes/ports 4K)
Purge: Election Year, The (iTunes/ports 4K)
Quiet Place, A [2018] (Vudu HD or iTunes 4K)
Riddick [2013] [Unrated] (MA or iTunes/ports)
Ride Along (MA or iTunes/ports)
Ride Along 2 (iTunes/ports)
Risen [2016] (MA + Sony points)
Rise Of The Guardians [2011] (MA)
Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (iTunes/ports 4K or HD MA + 150 points)
Russell Madness (MA or Google Play/ports)
Safe [2012] (Vudu or Google Play)
Safe House [2012] (MA or iTunes/ports)
Saving Mr. Banks (Google Play/ports)
Secret Life Of Pets, The (iTunes/ports 4K)
Secret Life Of Walter Mitty, The (MA)
Selma (Vudu or iTunes)
Sicario (Vudu 4K, iTunes 4K or Google Play HD)
Silver Linings Playbook (Vudu or Google Play)
Sing [2016] (iTunes/ports 4K)
Sinister (iTunes)
Sleepless [2017] (iTunes/ports)
Snitch (iTunes 4K or Google Play HD)
Snow White & The Huntsman [Extended] (iTunes/ports 4K)
Space Between Us, The (MA or iTunes/ports)
Spider-Man: Homecoming (MA + Sony points)
Star Trek [2009] (iTunes 4K)
Star Trek Beyond (iTunes 4K)
Star Wars: The Force Awakens (iTunes/ports 4K or HD MA + 150 points)
Star Wars: The Last Jedi (iTunes/ports + 150 points)
Straight Outta Compton (iTunes/ports 4K or HD MA)
Super Buddies [2013] (MA + 100 points)
Ted [Unrated] (MA)
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out Of The Shadows (Vudu HD or iTunes 4K)
Terminator: Genisys (Vudu HD or iTunes 4K)
This Is 40 [Theatrical] (MA or iTunes/ports)
Thor: Love & Thunder (Google Play/ports)
Thor: Ragnarok (iTunes/ports 4K or HD MA + 150 points)
Total Recall [2012] [Theatrical & Extended Unrated] (MA + Sony points)
Toy Story 4 (iTunes/ports 4K or HD MA + 150 points)
Trolls (MA)
True Blood: Season 4 (iTunes)
True Grit [2010] (Vudu or iTunes)
Turbo [2013] (MA)
Tyler Perry's Temptation: Confessions Of A Marriage Counselor (Google Play)
Valerian & The City Of A Thousand Planets (Vudu)
Venom (MA + Sony points)
Walk Among The Tombstones, A (iTunes/ports)
War For The Planet Of The Apes (iTunes/ports 4K or HD MA/GP)
Warm Bodies (iTunes 4K or GP HD)
War Room [2015] (MA + Sony points)
When The Game Stands Tall (MA + Sony points)
Whiskey Tango Foxtrot (Vudu)
Wild Card (Vudu or Google Play)
Woman In Black, The [2012] (MA)
Woman In Gold (Vudu)
Wonder [2017] (Vudu/GP HD or iTunes 4K)
Won't Back Down [2012] (MA)
X-Men: Days Of Future Past (iTunes/ports 4K or HD MA)
XXX: Return Of Xander Cage (iTunes 4K)
🦝

💲2️⃣ SD

All About Steve (iTunes/ports)
Descendants, The (iTunes/ports)
Dr. Seuss' Horton Hears A Who! (iTunes/ports)
Inside Llewyn Davis (MA)
Juno (iTunes/ports)
Marley & Me (iTunes/ports)
Mr. Popper's Penguins (iTunes/ports)
Percy Jackson & The Olympians: The Lightning Thief (iTunes/ports)
Rocker, The [2008] (iTunes/ports)
Tree Of Life, The (iTunes/ports)
We Bought A Zoo (iTunes/ports)
🦝

$1 Codes

💲1️⃣ HD

13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers Of Benghazi (Vudu)
Alex Cross (Vudu)
Avengers: Age Of Ultron (Google Play/ports)
Avengers: Endgame (Google Play/ports)
Avengers: Infinity War (Google Play/ports)
Battleship (MA)
Beauty & The Beast [2017] (Google Play/ports)
Big Hero 6 (Google Play/ports)
Black Panther (MA without points)
Bourne Ultimatum, The (MA)
Captain America: Winter Soldier (Google Play/ports)
Captain Marvel (Google Play/ports)
Choice, The [2016] (iTunes)
Deadpool (iTunes/ports 4K or HD MA/GP)
Divergent (Vudu)
Divergent Series: Insurgent, The (Vudu or Google Play)
Doctor Strange (Google Play/ports)
Dog's Purpose, A (iTunes/ports)
Ender's Game (Vudu)
Escape Plan (Vudu)
Expendables 2, The (Vudu/GP HD or iTunes 4K)
Expendables 3, The [Theatrical] (iTunes 4K)
Expendables 3, The [Unrated] (Vudu, iTunes or Google Play)
Fast & Furious 6 [Extended] (MA)
Fast Five [Extended] (MA or iTunes/ports)
Fate Of The Furious, The [8] [Theatrical] (HD MA)
Fifty Shades Darker [Unrated] (MA)
Finding Dory (Google Play/ports)
Furious 7 [Extended] (MA)
Girls Trip (MA or iTunes/ports)
Guardians Of The Galaxy (Google Play/ports)
Hillsong: Let Hope Rise (iTunes/ports)
Hocus Pocus (Google Play/ports)
Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1, The (Vudu)
I Feel Pretty (iTunes)
Inside Out (Google Play/ports)
Iron Man 3 (MA only/no points or Google Play/ports)
John Wick 3 (Google Play)
Jungle Cruise [2021] (Google Play/ports)
Jurassic World (MA)
Kevin Hart: Let Me Explain (Vudu)
Kidnap [2017] (iTunes/ports)
Lightyear [2022] (Google Play/ports)
Lion King, The [2019] (Google Play/ports)
Lone Survivor (MA)
Maleficent (Google Play/ports)
Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol (Vudu)
Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation (Vudu)
Moana (Google Play/ports)
Norm Of The North (Vudu)
Now You See Me (Vudu)
Oz: The Great & Powerful (Google Play/ports)
Pitch Perfect 2 (MA)
Planes (Google Play/ports)
Purge, The [2013] (MA)
Red 2 (Vudu/GP HD or iTunes 4K)
Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (Google Play/ports)
Secret Life Of Pets, The (MA)
Sing [2016] (MA)
Snitch (Vudu)
Snow White & The Huntsman [Extended] (MA)
Star Trek Beyond (Vudu)
Star Trek: Into Darkness (Vudu HD or iTunes 4K)
Star Wars: Rise Of Skywalker (Google Play/ports)
Super Buddies (Google Play/ports)
Taken 2 (MA or Google Play/ports)
Ted [Theatrical] (iTunes/ports)
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles [2014] (Vudu)
Thor: Ragnarok (Google Play/ports)
Toy Story 4 (Google Play/ports)
Transformers: Age Of Extinction (Vudu HD or iTunes 4K)
Transformers: Dark Of The Moon (Vudu)
Transformers: The Last Knight (iTunes 4K)
Tyler Perry's Madea's Witness Protection (Vudu)
Tyler Perry's Temptation: Confessions Of A Marriage Counselor (Vudu)
Unbroken [2014] (MA)
World War Z (Vudu)
XXX: Return Of Xander Cage (Vudu)
Zootopia (Google Play/ports)
🦝

💲1️⃣ SD

Act Of Valor (iTunes)
Amazing Spider-Man, The (MA)
Annie [2014] (MA + Sony points)
Call Me By Your Name [2017] (MA + Sony points)
Captain Phillips (MA + Sony points)
Concussion (MA + Sony points)
Despicable Me (iTunes/ports)
Devil Inside, The [2012] (Vudu)
Elysium (MA + Sony points)
Equalizer, The (MA + Sony points)
Family Guy: Blue Harvest (iTunes)
Family Guy: It's A Trap! (iTunes)
Fury [2014] (MA + Sony points)
Glee: The Concert (iTunes/ports)
Goosebumps [2015] (MA + Sony points)
Grown Ups 2 (MA + Sony points)
Haunting In Connecticut, The (iTunes)
Haywire (iTunes)
Heaven Is For Real (MA + Sony points)
Hobo With A Shotgun (iTunes)
Hope Springs [2012] (MA)
Hours [2013] (Vudu)
Hugo (Vudu)
Ice Age: Dawn Of The Dinosaurs (iTunes/ports)
Immortals [2011] (iTunes)
Judy Moody & The Not Bummer Summer (iTunes)
Jumanji: The Next Level (MA + Sony points)
Jumanji: Welcome To The Jungle (MA + Sony points)
Life As We Know It (iTunes)
Magnificent Seven, The [2016] (Vudu)
Mama Mia! The Movie (iTunes/ports)
Monuments Men, The (MA + Sony points)
Mortal Instruments : City Of Bones, The (MA + Sony points)
No Good Deed [2014] (MA + Sony points)
One For The Money (iTunes)
Ong Bak 3 (iTunes)
Peter Rabbit (MA)
Predators [2010] (iTunes/ports)
Public Enemies (iTunes/ports)
Rio (iTunes/ports)
Robin Hood [2010] [Unrated] (iTunes/ports)
Safe Haven (iTunes)
Something Borrowed (iTunes/ports)
Star, The [2017] (MA + Sony points)
Think Like A Man (MA + Sony points)
This Is The End (MA + Sony points)
Total Recall [2012] (MA + Sony points)
When The Game Stands Tall (MA + Sony points)
X-Men: First Class (iTunes/ports)
X-Men Origins: Wolverine (iTunes/ports)
🦝

Super Cheap SD & HD Codes

All movies are 3 for $1 each/must spend at least $1 total
Black Panther (Google Play/ports)
Expendables 2, The (Vudu SD only or iTunes SD only)
Frozen (Google Play/ports HD)
Hunger Games, The (Vudu SD or iTunes SD)
Hunger Games: Catching Fire, The (Vudu HD)
Perks Of Being A Wallflower, The (iTunes SD only)
Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes (iTunes/ports SD)
Star Wars: The Force Awakens (Google Play/ports HD)
Star Wars: The Last Jedi (Google Play/ports HD)
Tyler Perry's Madea's Witness Protection (iTunes HD only)
What To Expect When You're Expecting (iTunes SD only)

Customers in the Maryland 240/301 area code overlay region who request new service or an additional line may be assigned a number in the new 227 area code once the 240 and 301 area codes have all been taken, Maryland Public Service Commission officials say.
The MPSC approved the new 227 area code in September 2022.
The 240/301/227 area codes will serve all or portions of Aspen Hill, Bethesda, Bowie, Frederick, Gaithersburg, Germantown, Hagerstown, Potomac, Silver Spring, Waldorf, Wheaton and other smaller communities...
https://www.fox5dc.com/news/maryland-227-area-code-starts-june-14

<
Friday, May 28, 2010

• Adnan could have filed for post conviction relief at any time during these past seven years, and did not have to wait ten years. Rabia lied about that.
  
• According to Rabia, Justin Brown has decided not to subpoena Asia, given her reaction when approached by the PI.
  
• Attoney Justin Brown files for Post Conviction Relief citing "Ineffective Assistance of Counsel" aka "IAC." This filing contains the first appearance of Asia's letters in the record.
  
• Syed asks for new trial, claiming trial counsel (Gutierrez), and appellate counsel (Warren Brown) were ineffective:
  
  • 1) Gutierrez failed to establish a timeline disproving State's case
  • 2) Gutierrez failed to investigate alibi witness (Asia)
  • 3) Gutierrez failed to move for new trial based on Asia's statements
  • 4) Gutierrez failed to cross-examine Debbie
  • 5) Gutierrez failed to pursue a plea offer
  • 6) Gutierrez failed to request a change of venue
  • 7) Gutierrez failed to investigate Jay
  • 8) In Adnan's appeal brief, Warren Brown failed to include the fact that Waranowitz strayed from his area of expertise, at trial.
  • 9) Cumulative Ineffective Assistance of counsel.
  • [Four years later, on October 18, and November 18, 2014, Rabia lied to the readers of her blog, writing that Adnan was forced to wait ten years to file for post conviction relief. The truth is the defendant has ten years from the date of conviction to file, but cannot file AFTER 10 years. In her book, Rabia wrote that she and Adnan knew all along that Adnan could file for post conviction relief the day after his appeal was denied in 2003]
  • [Rabia also lies about how a 2013 google search led her to Sarah Koenig's coverage of Gutierrez' disbarment. Adnan's May 2010 filing for post conviction relief discusses Sarah Koenig's reporting. This is how Rabia would have become aware of Koenig.]

Sunday, June 27, 2010

• Adnan has been at Cumberland / Supermax for one year.

June 27, 2010

• Justin Brown files a Supplement to Adnan's May 28, 2010 Petition for Post Conviction Relief. Cites a 10th point for PCR.
  
  • 10) Sentencing counsel, Charles Dorsey, failed to request that the motion for sentence modification be held in abeyance.

  After Syed fired Gutierrez, he was represented by a public defender, Charles Dorsey. Mr. Dorsey filed a Motion for Modification of Sentence. Mr. Syed had just received a sentence of life plus 30 years. Rather than ask the Court to hold that motion in advance and raise it after, up to ten years, which is the common practice when a defendant receives a very long sentence, Mr. Dorsey didn't do that. The court ended up ruling on the Motion for Modification a couple of days after it was filed. And, of course, the motion was denied. So that's our third, ineffective assistance of counsel claim. That he should have handled that differently. - The supplement also included further points Justin Brown wanted to make about Gutierrez's failure to ask for a pleas deal.
  

No copies of this supplement exist on the internet.
July 27, 2010

• State of Maryland Department of Public Safety and Correctional Services announces that Fewer Cell Phones Finding Their Way into State Prisons

Summer 2010

• According to transcripts, Justin Brown attempts to subpoena Asia. (This could be the reason for one of the postponements.)

Friday, October 15, 2010

• Hae Min Lee 30th birthday

November 29, 2010

• Motions Hearing. The State Requests the defense file. Transcript Excerpt.

Friday, December 20, 2010

• PCR Hearing scheduled, but postponed. First postponement.

February 28, 2011

• Adnan has been in jail/prison for twelve years.

Saturday, May 21, 2011

• Adnan's 30th Birthday

June, 2011

• Dale Sides's blog

Thursday, June 9, 2011

• Adnan receives Certificate of Achievement at North Branch Correctional.
  
• Adnan has been at Cumberland / Supermax for two years.
  

Monday, August 8, 2011

• PCR Hearing scheduled, but postponed. Second postponement.

Thursday, September 29, 2011

• Adnan moves to disqualify Kathleen Murphy as counsel for the state.

Saturday, October 15, 2011

• Hae Min Lee 31st birthday

Thursday, October 20, 2011

• PCR Hearing scheduled, but postponed. Third postponement.

November 27, 2011

• Thiru Vignarajah joins Baltimore City State's Attorney's Office

January, 2012

• Rabia founds the "Safe Nation Collaborative." Unfortunately, law enforcement has never heard of it.

Monday, February 6, 2012

• PCR Hearing scheduled, but postponed. Fourth postponement.
  
• Adnan's motion to disqualify Kathleen Murphy is denied.
  
• Murphy says she first spoke to Urick about testifying at the PCR in February 2012
  

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

• PCR Hearing scheduled, but postponed. Fifth postponement.

February 28, 2012

• Adnan has been in jail/prison for thirteen years.

March 21, 2012

• Supreme Court Decisions [Lafler & Frye] re; Defense Attorney's obligation to seek plea deal

Monday, May 21, 2012

• Adnan's 31st Birthday

Friday, June 15, 2012

• Michael Sye named coordinator of athletics for the Baltimore County Public Schools, the top job in running one of the nation's biggest scholastic sports programs. He oversees competitive athletics for 24 high schools.
  
• Adnan has been at Cumberland / Supermax for three years.
  

July 13, 2012

• Adnan writes Justin Brown, asking for postponement of October court dates, due to a foot injury. No mention of July and August court dates.

Thursday, July 26, 2012

• PCR Hearing scheduled, but postponed. Sixth postponement.

Thursday, August 9, 2012

• PCR Hearing scheduled, but postponed. Seventh postponement.

Thursday, October 11, 2012

• Transcripts: for Evidentiary Hearing in Post-Conviction Appeal.
  
  • (Shamim's and Rabia's testimony filed and paid for by stop_saying_right after Rabia refused to upload anything but Urick's testimony.)
• Justin Brown opens. He will focus on (3) issues.
  
  • Gutierrez's failure to investigate Asia.
  • Gutierrez's failure to pursue a plea offer.
  • Dorsey's failure to request that the motion for sentence modification be held in abeyance.
• Kevin Urick testifies:
  
  • Gutierrez never approached him seeking a plea bargain. If he had been approached, there would have been a possibility of a negotiated disposition.
  • Asia called him because she was afraid of being forced to testify. She had already made up her mind not to testify when she called Urick. And only called him looking for a way to get out of it.
• Shamim Rahman testifies: Posted and discussed on reddit thanks to SSR.
  
• Rabia Chaudry testifies: Posted and discussed on reddit thanks to SSR.
  

Monday, October 15, 2012

• Hae Min Lee 32nd birthday

Thursday, October 25, 2012

• Transcripts: for Evidentiary Hearing in Post-Conviction Appeal.
  
  • (Adnan and Meady's testimony filed and paid for by stop_saying_right after Rabia refused to upload anything but Urick's testimony.)
• Adnan Syed testifies. Posted and discussed on reddit thanks for SSR.
  
  • Adnan testifies that he told Dorsey about Asia, but there is no mention of Asia's letters, or giving Dorsey Asia's letters.
• Margaret Meady testifies
  
• Justin Brown fails to call Andrew Davis, the Private Investigator hired by Flohr and Colbert to investigate the library/track alibi.
  

February 28, 2013

• Adnan has been in jail/prison for fourteen years.

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

• Adnan's 32nd Birthday

June 11, 2013

• Adnan's Cumberland Evaluation
  
• Adnan has been at Cumberland / Supermax for four years.
  

August, 2013

• It has been ten months since the October 2012 Hearing for Post Conviction Relief.
  
• Rabia says she watched the documentary "West of Memphis," looked up reporters who covered Gutierrez's disbarment, and found Sarah Koenig. Rabia hoped that media attention could influence Welch's pending decision, ten months after the hearing.
  
  • Rabia is lying when she talks about this 2013 google search that led her to Sarah Koenig's coverage of Gutierrez' disbarment for the Baltimore Sun. The truth is that Adnan's May 2010 filing for post conviction relief discusses Sarah Koenig and the coverage in the Baltimore Sun. This is how Rabia would have become aware of Koneig. Not via an August 2013 random google search, after watching West of Memphis.

August 12, 2013

• Rabia sends a letter to Sarah Koenig, asking her to take a look at the case. Rabia claims the police and prosecutors knew Adnan was innocent, and Gutierrez threw the case for money. Note here that leading up to Serial, Rabia was convinced that Jay did it, and would have pitched the story, with the carrot of exposing Jay.

August 29, 2013

• Rabia hastily sets up an LLC in Maryland, even though she is not licensed to practice law there.
  
• In anticipation of meeting with Sarah Koenig, Rabia sets up an office at Security Plaza, across the street from Woodlawn High School.
  
• Rabia wants Sarah to think this has always been her office, and that this is where she works. The truth is Rabia lives and works in DC.
  

August 30, 2013

• Approximate: In her "office" across the street from WHS, Rabia meets with Sarah Koenig, leading Koenig to believe Rabia has had this office for a while. Note here that Jay being the killer would have been part of this conversation.
  
• Undated: Rabia tells Sarah Koenig that Gutierrez threw the case on purpose, to get more money for the appeal - Despite Gutierrez having suggested that another attorney handle the appeal.
  

Late September, 2013

• Adnan receives a letter from Justin Brown saying that a reporter named Sarah Koenig wanted to do an interview. Justin wrote that he didn't think Sarah would waste time on a story if she didn't believe Adnan was innocent. Adnan receives the first letter from Sarah Koenig, a few days later.

Thursday, October 10, 2013

• By now, Adnan has received an introductory letter from Sarah Koenig. She sent him a pad and pencil and stamps. Adnan writes Sarah Koenig a letter about his story and case. Discussion.
  
  • Adnan says he wasn't much bigger than Hae.
  • Adnan says that students weren't allowed to use the top parking lot. (several WHSers and Krista have said that students used the top parking lot.)
  • Adnan describes the route to the Best Buy but neglects to mention the back way.
  • Adnan implies that the October 31 break up was the final break up.
  • Adnan says that he and Hae would joke about two women calling him on his cell phone at the same time. (Only we know that Adnan's first, ever cell phone was activated the evening of January 12, and there are no calls on the call log that support this story.)

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

• Hae Min Lee 33rd birthday

November, 2013

• Sarah Koenig meets with Chris Flohr to try to get some sense of Adnan's innocence. She tells Flohr that she won't do the story unless Adnan is innocent. Jay as the killer is context for Koenig's work on Serial.

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

• Justin Brown talks about the importance of the defense investigator, despite having failed to call the defense investigator at Adnan's PCR hearing.

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

• Adnan receives a reply letter from Sarah Koenig and puts her on his visitor list. Sarah has decided to report on the story.

Monday, November 25, 2013

• Adnan writes Sarah Koenig to thank her for her letter and let her know she is on his visitor list.
  
  • Adnan tells Koenig that no one but him (and the person who did it) will ever know if he did it or not. Adnan forgetting that Jay also knows the truth.
  • Adnan writes: Looking back, I always knew that Jay was jealous of my relationship with Stephanie. Stephanie had told me she was going to break up with Jay when she went off to college. Jay asked me if I knew about it. I told him that I did, and he wasn't too happy about that.
  • But on January 5, 2000, Adnan had said: Stepanie was so devoted to Jay that she talked about not going to college and possibly staying with Jay and renting an apartment.
  • Breakdown of lies in this letter that Koenig could have questioned, and/or featured in Serial.

Monday, December 30, 2013

• Post Conviction Decision written by Justice Martin P. Welch.

January 2, 2014

• Andrew Davis in a single car accident, that proves fatal.

Tuesday, January 6, 2014

• Post Conviction relief denied by Justice Martin P. Welch.

Mid January, 2014

• Koenig says that her first conversation with Adnan took place right after he received Welch's decision. Link to excerpt from first recorded interview
  
• Asia returns Sarah Koenig's call. Asia tells Sarah that when she was approached by the Defense PI, she "freaked out" and called Urick, who told her Adnan was guilty, so she dodged the attempt to produce her at the PCR.
  
• Bilal is notified of disciplinary action regarding his dental license, citing un-necessary treatments and overcharging on multiple occasions in 2010, 2011, 2012, and 2013.
  

Monday, January 27, 2014

• Defense files ALA (Applicaton for Leave to Appeal). Adnan's attorneys have to ask for permission to appeal Welch's decision, as there is no guaranteed right to appeal. Defense requests review of two issues:
  
  • 1) Whether Gutierrez was ineffective because she didn't contact/interview Asia
  • 2) Whether Gutierrez was ineffective for failing to pursue a plea deal, and telling Adnan she had.

Monday, February 17, 2014

• Adnan Defense Team PI Andrew Davis passes away. He was never asked about Asia or anything about the defense's pre-trial investigation. Drew Davis Photo Album

Late February, 2014

• Sarah has met with Deirdre Enright who has agreed to work on Adnan's case.
  
  • Two UVA law school clinics begin work on Adnan's case.
  • Rabia says that Sarah reached out to Dierdre on her own. But it's clear that Adnan told Sarah about the Justin Wolfe case and subsequently, Deirdre Enright.
  • DNA issue important to law student, Mario

February 28, 2014

• Adnan has been in jail/prison for fifteen years.

Late February/March 2014

• Justin George of the Baltimore Sun begins helping Sarah Koenig, at Rabia's urging. Rabia wanted a local reporter on the story, too.

Spring, 2014

• Approximate: Sarah emails Young Lee
  
• Approximate: Sarah interviews one of the prosecuting attorneys, Kathleen Murphy, for two hours
  
• Sarah and Dana Chivas visit Woodlawn, and surrounding areas:
  
  • Krista shows them her scrapbook, lets them read Adnan's letters, and see her photos of Hae.
  • Sarah and Dana Chivas do the drive test that Adnan asked Sarah to do. Rabia asks to go along. Sarah says no.
  • Sarah shows Rabia the Enehey Report from the MPIA file. Rabia had never seen it. Sarah has redacted the name of the author of the report. She has promised the author she wouldn't reveal her name. Later, Rabia would post the report on her blog, and tell the world the name of the woman who wrote the report.
  • Rabia says in her book that this report explained why the detectives focused in on Adnan. She leaves out that the report was not written until Adnan had been in jail for six months.
  • Rabia dates the report as August 24, 1999, without mentioning that by then, Adnan had been arrested, indicted, and awaiting trial for months. (Later, Rabia would say that Justin Brown had a copy of the report in the police file, but never showed it to her.
• Adnan sends Sarah Koenig two "Price of Tea" charts, and asks her to hold them until the next time they speak. In October, of 2014, Koenig wrote about the subsequent conversation here.
  
  • C-Mart Chart 7-11 Chart

Wednesday, May 21, 2014

• Adnan's 33rd Birthday
  
• Bilal sexually assaults patients.
  

May 31, 2014

• Adnan's Cumberland Evaluation

June 4, 2014

• Adnan has been at Cumberland / Supermax for five years: Prison Evaluation

July 25, 2014

• Original SERIAL podcast air date

Thursday, August 7, 2014

• Sarah and Julie fly to California, two weeks after the original air date for the podcast. Jay wouldn't talk to them on the phone, so they delayed the podcast, and flew to California to blind-side Jay.

Friday, August 8, 2014

• Sarah and Julie arrive at Jay's house. No one is home. They go away, then come back, for the second time, to walk across his lawn, unannounced.
  
  • Jay said this upset his children.
  • During the conversation, Jay refers to himself as a "scoundrel with scruples." Jay wisely doesn't see any upside to letting them record an interview.

Saturday, August 9, 2014

• Sarah Koenig emails Jay, apologizes for blind-siding him and causing upheaval, suggests they have a drink or coffee, and refers to the project she's working on as a documentary, not a podcast. Sarah tells Jay that the upside to doing a taped interview is that he can tell his version. Her message: "I'm going to do a story and talk about you, whether you like it or not."

August 2014

• Adnan completes Home Study Programs > 8/22: Substance Abuse 8/22: Anger Management 8/25: Offender Corrections 8/29: Contentious Relationships

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

• Maryland Court of Special Appeals orders the State of Maryland to file a response to the defense's January 27, 2014 "ALA" (Application for Leave to Appeal). Court asks for State's response to the defense's assertion that Adnan asked for a plea, and Gutierrez failed to seek one. Court sets deadline of November 14, 2014 for State's response

September 2014

• Adnan completes Home Study Programs > 9/8: Parenting 9/8: Cognitive Awareness 9/12: Theft & Shoplifting 9/12: Domestic Violence 9/12: DUI 9/12: Employment 9/22: Offender Responsibility

Wednesday, October 1, 2014

• Sarah writes to Rabia that the story will be presented in podcast form, over 12 episodes.

Friday, October 3, 2014

• Serial Episode 1 and 2:
  
  • "The Alibi" Transcript
  • "The Breakup" Transcript

Saturday, October 4. 2014

• /serialpodcast is created - [will update link soon]

Wednesday, October 8, 2014

• Rabia's first blog post on Serial; undermining Koenig. Jakeprops says its must-read
  
  • Rabia lies to her readers, writing that Adnan had no choice but to wait for ten years to file for Post Conviction Relief.
  • The truth is that the defendant can file any time during those ten years, but not after ten years has lapsed.
  • The truth is that in a 2004 letter to Rabia, Adnan articulated his strategy to wait out the years, until the deadline was upon them, and then file for PCR.
• Rabia begins to advertise her version of the story on reddit - [will update link soon]
  

Saturday, October 11, 2014

• Baltimore Sun: Relatives of Convicted Killer Suffer in Silence

Friday, October 14, 2014

• Serial Episode 3: "Leakin Park" Transcript
  
• Rabia promoted her blog on reddit.
  

Wedneday, October 15, 2014

• Hae Min Lee 34th birthday

Thursday, October 16, 2014

• Serial Episode 4: "Inconsistencies" Transcript
  
• Rabia tweets Jay's last name, and it is picked up on reddit. Pictures of Jay's house are posted on reddit as a result.
  
• Rabia texts Sarah and says that Redditers "figured out" Jay's last name and posted his Facebook.
  

Friday, October 17, 2014

• Rabia's blog post #2 on Serial. Response to "Inconsistencies"... Rabia reshapes Koenig's narrative. Posted on reddit.

Saturday, October 18, 2014

• Saad's Reddit AMA

Thursday, October 23, 2014

• Serial Episode 5: "Route Talk" Transcript
  
• Hae's classmate "Summer" listens, and reaches out to Sarah Koenig. In a later episode, "Summer" sounds an awful lot like "K." Summer has never been heard from again.
  
• Adnan is a Psychopath thread posted
  
• Yusuf's response to the Psychopath thread. Yusuf thinks the author is Bilal.
  

Friday, October 24, 2014

• Rabia's blog post #3 on Serial. Addresses "Route Talk." Reshaping the narrative for her own ends.
  
• Rabia writes that after her first few blog posts, she received an uncomfortable call from Koenig who rightly felt that Rabia was interfering with the storytelling. Rabia writes that she wasn't going to let this moment pass, but she agreed not to trump Sarah's show.
  

Saturday, October 25, 2014

• Saad names names and let's people know they will be bullied and harassed if they come forward.

Monday, October 27, 2014

• Rabia's blog post #4. She is offended at having been called "loosey-goosey"
  
• Rabia appears on a "google chat" with Pete Rorabaugh.
  

Wednesday, October 29, 2014

• Rabia's blog post #5 on Serial. Rabia announces that she will be appearing in a "google chat" every Monday with Pete Rorabaugh. and directs her readers to view the "chats."

Thursday, October 30, 2014

• Serial Episode 6: "The Case Against Adnan Syed" Transcript

Friday, October 31, 2014

• Rabia's sixth blog post on Serial. Addresses Serial's latest episode as "The worst of it."

Monday, November 3, 2014

• Google Chat #2 with Pete Rorabaugh
  
• Bilal signs Department of Health order suspending his license to practice dentistry.
  

Thursday, November 6, 2014

• Serial Episode 7: "The Opposite of the Prosecution" Transcript

Friday, November 7, 2014

• Rabia's seventh Serial blog post promoted on reddit.. Reframes "The Opposite of the Prosecution."
  
• Asia's classmate sends her a message about Serial via Facebook messenger
  
  • Affiant's version
  • Asia's version

Monday, November 10, 2014

• Google Chat #3 with Pete Rorabaugh

Thursday, November 13, 2014

• Serial Episode 8: "The Deal with Jay" Transcript

Friday, November 14, 2014

• Rabia's 8th blog post about Serial. She writes about the West Memphis Three, and promotes her blog on reddit
  
• State misses deadline to respond to defense's January 27, 2014 "ALA."
  
• Pictures of Jay's house are posted on reddit
  

Monday, November 17, 2014

• Google Chat #4 with Pete Rorabaugh
  
• Bilal begins defrauding Medicaid. He will eventually accrue 1.2 million from November 2014 to February 2016
  

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

• Hae's brother posts on reddit.

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

• Rabia blogs about her first Facebook post on Adnan's case.

Thursday, November 20, 2014

• Serial Episode 9: "To Be Suspected" Transcript
  
  • Rabia tweets that they are poised to file to get the DNA tested
  • Items UVA IP seeks to get tested.

Friday, November 21, 2014

• Rabia blogs about "To Be Suspected," and promotes her blog on reddit.

Sunday, November 23, 2014

• Susan Simpson begins writing about Adnan, and posting her blog on reddit. - will update link soon.
  
• Baltimore Sun: City's Crime Image Based on Truth
  

Thursday, November 25, 2014

• Google Chat #5 with Pete Rorabaugh

Friday, November 26, 2014

• Rabia blogs re; Thanksgiving and letters of support she's received.

Saturday, November 27, 2014

• Rabia uploads Jay's first interview and Jen's interview. They are terrible copies she found in the defense file. Rabia still doesn't have the police investigation MPIA file, that Sarah Koenig has.

Monday, December 1, 2014

• Google Chat #6 with Pete Rorabaugh

Thursday, December 4, 2014

• Serial Episode 10: "The Best Defense is a Good Defense" Transcript
  
• Judge Heard posts on Facebook that Adnan is guilty
  

Friday, December 5, 2014

• Rabia blogs about how Gutierrez swindled them; posts a video of Shamim.

Saturday, December 6, 2014

• Approximate: Dierdre Enright and her students from the UVA IP travel to meet Adnan in prison.

Sunday, December 7, 2014

• Jon Ronson's piece in the Guardian written from an "innocent" perspective, appears to have been placed by a PR firm. Ronson includes Adnan's childhood drawings as originals. A redditor later found that these drawings were copied from a children's book. Not a big deal other than that they were presented as originals, for sympathy.

Monday, December 8, 2014

• Rabia blogs about Serial Episode 10; how Muslim kids in the USA hide things like dating from their parents.
  
• Google Chat #7 with Pete Rorabaugh
  

Tuesday, December 9, 2014

• Rabia posts interviews with Chris Flohr and Justin Brown

Wednesday, December 10, 2014

• City Paper: Where the Bodies Aren't Buried

Thursday, December 11, 2014

• Serial Episode 11: "Rumors" Transcript

Friday, December 12, 2014

• Rabia blogs about how the "Rumors" episode is "Much Ado About Nothing." She has organized a video chat of Adnan's friends to rebut every single one of the rumors.
  
• Krista creates a FreeAdnan Facebook page.
  

Saturday, December 13, 2014

• Deirdre and Justin Brown have been giving Adnan conflicting advice about how best to proceed, what to push for and when. On Saturday Adnan finally gave Deirdre the go ahead to file the motion to test DNA. It was an emotional decision for him.
  
  • Adnan Syed: It’s just anything about my case, I want to know it. I don’t want anyone to be able to say “well he didn’t want to know so boom, we went and found out.” No, I want to know. So I called Miss Deirdre and said “Look Miss Deirdre, I wanted you to test things. I’m the one that asked for this. You guys had it sitting for sixteen years and you never tested it. It’s impossible for it to be sitting there for sixteen years and you guys never tested it. So that’s fine, I want it tested... I want to see what it says. There’s nothing about my case that I’m afraid of.

Monday, December 15, 2014

• Asia contacts Adnan's defense team, after listening to the podcast
  
• Baltimore Sun: Serial Brings Healing to Syed Family
  

Thursday, December 18, 2014

• Final Serial Episode (12): "What We Know" Transcript
  
• Baltimore Sun: Rabia Chaudry Fights for Muslims - and Syed; Firebrand for Muslim Women inspired Serial
  

Friday, December 19, 2014

• Rabia launches the Adnan Syed Legal Trust on Launchgood.com: Dennis Robinson named Trustee - [Will update link soon]
  
• Rabia's responds to the final episode of Serial, in her blog and points to Don.
  
• Deirdre promotes the UVA IP via Time Magazine
  
• Asia:
  
  • At the 2016 Hearing for Post Conviction Relief, Asia testified that she binge listened to all the episodes at one time.
  • At the 2016 Hearing for Post Conviction Relief, Asia testified that she reached out to Justin Brown in "Mid-December 2014."
  • At the 2016 Hearing for Post Conviction Relief, Asia testified that Sarah Koenig recommended the attorney that Asia hired, Gary Proctor.

Undated between December 20, 2014 and January 2, 2015

• Rabia asks Sarah Koenig when she can have back all her hard copies and tapes.
  
• In the same email, Rabia asks if she can have the full police file from Sarah's MPIA request.
  
• Sarah doesn't realize that Rabia will sell/use documents from Sarah's MPIA request and research to raise money for Adnan's defense fund, and start her own podcast.
  

Monday, December 22, 2014

• Google Chat #8 with Pete Rorabaugh
  
• Rabia tweets that she will be selling transcripts. For every $10,000 raised for Adnan, she will release more documents.
  
• Tanveer characterizes Rabia's activities as a "campaign."
  

Tuesday, December 23, 2014

• Jay says that he is looking for an interview in which he can control the conditions. He is looking to expose Sarah Koenig for "who she really is."

December 28, 2014

• Rabia posts transcripts in keeping with her "transcripts for donations" advertisement.

Saturday, December 28, 2014

• Asia responds to her classmate's Facebook message

Sunday, December 29, 2014

• Susan Simpson posts the "previously unpublished" 2003 COSA Denial of Adnan's appeal, and says she filed to obtain this document, but it got water-stained in her mail box while she was out of town. However, this looks "obtained" from Rabia's water damaged documents.
  
• The Intercept publishes Part I of an Interview with Jay.
  
  • Reddit thread re; this interview: Addressing the Conspiracy Theory - will update link soon

December 30, 2014

• After receiving more money for Adnan, Rabia posts more transcripts, per her commitment to sell them for donations.
  
• Thiru Vignarajah named Deputy Attorney General
  
• The Intercept publishes Part II of an Interview with Jay.
  

Friday, January 3, 2015

• Sarah Koenig emails Rabia back about returning the documents and tapes. Sarah doesn't respond to Rabia asking for the MPIA documents. Sarah says they never identified Hae's pager.

Saturday, January 4, 2015

• ISB member calls for members to do the right thing.

Monday, January 6, 2015

• Rabia writes in her blog about Jay's lies.
  
• Rabia posts Sarah's January 3 email in her blog, saying Sarah tried to trick Adnan into thinking she had Hae's pager number when, she didn't.
  
  • Either this day or the next, Sarah calls Rabia, and is super angry: Sarah said she was mistaken, and that they did have Hae's number.
  • Sarah said Rabia's posting a private email made Serial look incompetent.
  • According to Rabia's book, Sarah and Rabia engage in a a full on shouting match re: "The Best Defense is a Good Defense."
  • Rabia is angry that Sarah only aired the part about Adnan being happy with Gutierrez, when he clearly isn't happy, and has a pending IAC claim against her.
  • Rabia told Sarah that what she used in Serial could affect Adnan's case. Sarah replied that the IAC wasn't her problem, and [Serial] used what parts of the interviews they wanted due to "editorial discretion."
  • [Note: According to Krista, Hae did have a pager.
• After receiving another $10,000 for Adnan's legal fund, Rabia posts two days of trial testimony.
  
• Jemima Khan asks her twitter followers to support Adnan's legal fund
  

Tuesday, January 7, 2015

• Kevin Urick Intercept Interview

Saturday, January 10, 2015

• Susan Simpson begins posting snippets of police files obtained via Sarah Koenig's MPIA request. She got them from Rabia who got them from Sarah.

Sunday, January 11, 2015

• Baltimore Sun: 'Serial' Prosecutor Speaks Out

Monday, January 12, 2015

• Rabia speaks at Stanford Law School
  
• At the 2016 PCR Hearing, Asia testified that she wrote her 2015 affidavit, but asked Gary Proctor and his office to look it over for grammar.
  

Tuesday, January 13, 2015

• 16th anniversary of Hae Min Lee's death
  
• Asia signs 2nd affidavit, but it is not yet released to the public.
  

Wednesday, January 14, 2015

• Part 2 of Kevin Urick's Intercept Interview

[Post Conviction III>>]()

Check out part 1 for context
The Tonpa Kingdoms Part 1 (Overview and The Gods) : worldbuilding (reddit.com)
There are 5 connected Kingdoms that have Tonpa as their main religion these are.
Jangshun
A Place of snow-capped Mountains and green Valleys, said to be built upon the ruins of the ancient Jungar people who controlled much of the area of Jangshun and the nearby kingdoms of Monyul and Taishigang.
Very little is known about the Jungar, their ruins are scattered throughout the landscape of Jangshun, and are often characterized by simple stone structures, pottery shards, and other artifacts. Based on these remains, it is believed that the Jungar were a relatively simple society, with a lifestyle that revolved around farming, herding, and other basic activities.
Despite their lack of sophistication, the Jugar are an important part of the history and culture of the region many myths and legends have grown up around them, the people of Jangshun often see the Jungar as a symbol of the enduring spirit of the region, and take pride in the fact that they were able to survive and thrive in a harsh and unforgiving environment. In addition to their physical remains, the Jungar have left a lasting impact on the people of Jangshun in other ways. Their language, customs, and traditions are thought to have influenced the culture of the later kingdom, and many people still feel a strong connection to the Jagun and their way of life.
The Capital of Jangshun is called Druktse, founded by Dragon Priests and the legendary Namgyal dynasty the city is known for its unique architecture, with buildings made of wood and stone, intricately carved and painted with colorful designs and motifs, the streets are narrow and winding, with prayer flags fluttering in the breeze and the sound of temple bells ringing in the air.
At the center of the city is the Royal Palace of Jigme Wangchuk, a majestic building that serves as the residence of the Royal Family, the palace consists of several wings and halls, each with its own specific function. The main hall is the center of political and ceremonial activities, where the king held court and received important guests. The royal family's private quarters were located in a separate wing, with opulent living spaces and lavish decorations.
One of the most impressive features of the palace is the Eagle Tower, a tall structure that houses the elite Eagle Guards, who were responsible for the king's security the tower is covered from top to bottom with intricate carvings of the bird of prey.
The palace is surrounded by lush gardens and fountains, and it is guarded by soldiers in traditional Eagle attire, the Eagle Guards of the palace of Jingme Wangchuk are an elite group of soldiers tasked with protecting the king and the royal family, known for their fearsome reputation and exceptional combat skills, the Eagle Guards are considered one of the most prestigious units in the Jangshun army.
The guards are named after the majestic eagles that inhabit the mountainous regions of Jangshun, and they were trained to emulate the hunting tactics of these birds of prey. They are adept at using the terrain to their advantage, and are particularly skilled at scaling steep cliffs and mountainous terrain to surprise and overwhelm their enemies. In addition to their exceptional combat skills, the Eagle Guards were also known for their loyalty and dedication to the royal family. They undergo rigorous training and were selected based on their physical prowess, intelligence, and character, to become an Eagle Guard, applicants must be graduates of both the School of the Father and School of the Dragon.
The Eagle Guards are outfitted in distinctive uniforms that featured a stylized eagle emblem, and they were armed with a variety of weapons, including bows, spears, and swords. They were also known to use eagle feathers and talons in their armor and equipment, as a nod to the unit's namesake.
Druktse is a hub of cultural and religious activities, with several monasteries and temples located throughout the city.
The most famous of these is the Tashicho Dzong, a stunning fortress monastery that serves as the seat of The Gyelpa (The Duke) the secondary ruler of Druktse and the center of Druk-Ta worship. The dzong is surrounded by high walls and towers, and is accessible through a grand gate that is guarded by soldiers. The interior of the dzong is a maze of courtyards, chapels, and offices, all connected by narrow passageways and staircases.
One of the most impressive features of Tashicho Dzong is its towering central fortress and monastery, which rises above the rest of the complex and can be seen from miles around. This fortress is home to the Dragon Priests and is one of the most important structures in Jangshun. The fortress monastery is also famous for its beautiful architecture and intricate artwork. The walls of the courtyards are adorned with colorful murals and paintings, while the chapels are filled with statues and other religious artifacts. Visitors to Tashicho Dzong can tour the complex and learn about Jangshun history and culture, as well as observe the daily routines of the monks who live and work there. The Monastery is open to the public during certain hours of the day, and visitors are advised to dress modestly and remove their shoes before entering the chapels. Even though the current royal family of Jangshun are connected to The Father, The Dragon holds a special place in Druktse.
The people of Druktse are known for their warm hospitality and their strong sense of community. They celebrate several festivals throughout the year, including the annual Tshechu festival, the 3 Gods Festival which features colorful dances and rituals performed by monks and laypeople.
To the north-east of the Kingdom lies the second biggest city in Jangshun, the city of Lhagyal, often called “The Fire-proof City”
Lhagyal is a mass of stone walls and buildings with precious little wood being used at all, the walls of the city are imposingly high and even the central palace is relatively flat and does not rise above the walls, there are 4 gates made of pure steel and those are the only entrances and exits.
Inside the city walls, the streets are narrow and winding, with tall, tightly packed buildings constructed from rough-hewn stone. The architecture is distinct, with flat roofs and ornate metal doors decorating the doorways and windows, many of the buildings are built into the city's walls, their backs resting against the ancient stones.
There is more to the city than what meets the eye. Beneath the streets lie a labyrinth of tunnels and catacombs, built for both practical and spiritual purposes. Some are used for storage or as escape routes, while others are filled with ancient artifacts and sacred relics. The catacombs are also home to a complex network of underground temples and shrines and busy streets that are home to underground residences and businesses.
Despite its rugged appearance, the city's architecture is a testament to its resilience. It has withstood numerous attempts at invasion over the centuries, including attacks by powerful enemies armed with the latest in siege weaponry. The city's fortifications are a marvel of engineering, designed to withstand even the most devastating attacks and yet, for all its defensive prowess, the city has never lost sight of its cultural heritage.
The most famous instance of this was when the neighbouring Confucian Kingdom of Jinyun attempted to invade Jangshun with its impressive military might, scores of loyal foot-soldiers hardened by decades of conflict and advanced siege technology that included weapons that used fireworks.
The city withstood months of warfare with Lhagyal earning its nickname of “The Fire-proof City” The stone structures withstood the fireworks and the hard rock of the walls withstood the Jinyun catapults, outside the city several guerilla efforts by the Eagle Guards, The Company of the Hand and The White Tigers from Monyul lending their support repelled attempted on-foot invasions by the hardened Jinyun soldiers.
In the south-west of Jangshun, near the borders of Monyul and Taishigang lies the town of Gyalpeling, a place revered by monks and pilgrims alike. Gyalpeling, meaning "Abode of the Victorious" is a small yet vibrant town located in a remote corner of the kingdom. Its strategic location, surrounded by imposing mountains and blessed with fertile lands, has made it a crucial hub for spiritual activities and monastic life. The town is centered around a grand monastery, which serves as the heart and soul of the community. The monastery, known as Samtenling Monastery, is a majestic complex of ornate buildings adorned with colorful murals, fluttering prayer flags, and the sound of chanting monks echoing through the air. It is a revered place of worship and learning, drawing scholars, practitioners, and seekers of wisdom from far and wide. The streets of Gyalpeling are lined with modest housing for monks, adorned with intricate woodcarvings and colorful paintings. The locals, known for their warm hospitality and deep reverence for Tonpa, every activity the townspeople engage in helps the monastery in some way, whether trading, farming or craftsmanship, every resident of Gyalpeling helps out the monastery in some way. The town also boasts natural hot springs, believed to have healing properties, which attract pilgrims and visitors seeking solace and rejuvenation. The pristine rivers and lakes surrounding Gyalpeling add to its enchanting beauty, serving as places for meditation, ritual ablutions, and scenic walks. Gyalpeling is not only a place of spiritual significance, but it also serves as a center of learning, with numerous scriptoria, libraries, and meditation caves where monks engage in intensive study, contemplation, and meditation, prospective monks come from all over the 5 Kingdoms to study in Gyalpeling, as monks educated within its walls are valued in any court of the Tonpa Kingdoms.
One of the most valuable cities in Jangshun isn't far from the capital, a short 1 hour horse ride east of Druktse stands the city of Jangtse, a jewel in the crown of the kingdom. Jangtse, meaning "Silver Peak" in the local tongue, owes its fame and prosperity to the rich veins of silver that run through the nearby mountains, making it a thriving center for mining and trade. At the heart of Jangtse rises a magnificent conical palace, known as Jang Potrang, or the "Silver Palace." The palace, glistening like a beacon atop the tallest hill in the city, is adorned with silver-plated roofs, walls, and pillars, reflecting the sunlight and casting a mesmerizing glow over the surrounding landscape. It serves as the royal residence, where the Count holds court and conducts affairs pertaining to the area between Jangtse and Druktse. The streets of Jangtse are lined with buildings that boast silver-plated facades, creating a surreal and shimmering sight as one walks through the city, often shining gold from reflecting the sunlight, the wealth of the city is evident in the intricate silver filigree work that adorns windows, doors, and rooftops of temples, mansions, and markets alike. The silversmiths of Jangtse are renowned for their craftsmanship, producing exquisite silverware and jewelry that are sought after by collectors and traders from distant lands. The city is a bustling center of commerce, with a vibrant market square where merchants from across the region gather to trade in silver, gemstones, textiles, and other precious goods. The sounds of bartering, laughter, and the clinking of silver coins fill the air.
The Armies of Jangshun are known for their ferocious foot-soldiers, the every-day rank and file soldiers of the Jangshun armies are regarded as the best in the region and are a feared prospect to face on any battlefield.
The soldiers of the army of Jangshun are highly disciplined and skilled in the art of warfare, and are renowned throughout the region for their courage and loyalty. They are trained in a variety of weapons and fighting styles, including archery, swordsmanship, and hand-to-hand combat.
It is said that the success of the army comes from the fact that many men and women who fight in it are from mountainous regions and are conditioned from a young age to move over mountainous land with ease, their armies can easily traverse land that would be impossible for normal armies to travel over, due to the fact that the soldiers know the land.
The army of Jangshun is led by a commander-in-chief, who is appointed by the common foot-soldiers and is responsible for the overall strategy and tactics of the army. Under the commander-in-chief, there are several generals and officers who oversee different units of the army, each with their own specific roles and responsibilities. The soldiers of the army of Jangshun are equipped with a variety of weapons and armor, including shields, helmets, and chainmail. They are also skilled in the use of traditional weapons, such as the da and the gochu, which are types of swords. In addition to their skills in battle, the soldiers of the army of Jangshun are also highly respected for their loyalty and devotion to their ruler and country. They are known for their strong sense of duty and honor, and are willing to lay down their lives in defense of their homeland. The army of Jangshun is often called upon to defend the kingdom against invading forces, and has a long history of successful battles and campaigns. Their reputation for courage and skill has earned them the respect of their neighbors and allies, and they are a source of pride and inspiration for the people of Jangshun.
One of the most famous regiments from Jangshun is the “Wheel of Steel” A heavily armored longsword unit founded by Princess Jamyang Daughter of King Kunga and Sister of King Yangchen of the Yeshe Dynasty after she travelled to Europe and witnessed people fighting in full suits of armor, this was a foreign concept in the areas around her and she implemented the idea with her Father's (And later Brother's) full support they were first deployed in aid of Taishigang who were experiencing an invasion from a nearby Dharmist Kingdom. The longswords cleaved through the invading forces lack of armor and their steel plates deflected blows.
Monyul
Monyul is a land of vast open spaces and stunning natural beauty. The kingdom is home to a proud and fiercely independent people, who have built a rich culture and a strong military tradition, its plains are green and warm during the summer but snow is not uncommon in winter. Dharmaling is the capital city of Monyul and is nestled in the hills, surrounded by winding rivers and vast grasslands. It is a city steeped in tradition and culture, with a rich history that stretches back centuries.
Dharmaling was built as the northern most outpost of the Dharmist Indraprastha Empire but was conquered by Tonpa forces from a tribe that would eventually become known as the Monyul. The city is built around a central marketplace, where merchants from all over the known world come to trade their wares. The marketplace is a bustling hub of activity, filled with the sounds of bargaining and haggling, and the aromas of exotic spices and perfumes.
The Company of the Wind have their main offices in Dharmaling and use the bustling 10 storey wooden building to plan its operations throughout the known world. The streets of Dharmaling are relatively wide due to the constant horse carts that pass through them. The buildings are made of stone and wood, with intricately carved facades and ornate balconies. Many of the houses have flat roofs, which are used as outdoor living spaces during the warmer months. At the heart of the city lies the great monastery of The 3 Gods, unlike in other cities which have separate monasteries for the three Gods, this temple combines them as a display of unity between the three sects. The massive structure dominates the skyline, with its towering walls and intricate carvings. The monastery is home to a community of monks, who dedicate their lives to the study and practice of Tonpa. Surrounding the monastery are the homes of the nobility, who are known for their wealth and power. These grand estates are filled with beautiful gardens and courtyards, and are often adorned with intricate carvings and colorful murals. Outside the city walls, the landscape is dotted with small villages and nomadic encampments. These communities are home to herders and farmers, who make their living tending to the region's yaks and sheep. Despite its remote location, Dharmaling is a city of great importance, both culturally and politically. It is a place of pilgrimage for Monks, Merchants and laypeople from all over the world, and is also a hub of trade and commerce. The people of Dharmaling are proud of their heritage and their way of life, and are fiercely protective of their city and its traditions.
A 30 minute walk to the west of Dharmaling lies the Temple of Tong Thang, the Beehive Temple, as visitors approach the temple, they are greeted by the gentle humming of bees that buzz around the entrance, seemingly inviting them inside, the entrance is adorned with ornate wooden doors intricately carved with depictions of bees in flight, the temple is home to hundreds of bee colonies. The interior of the temple is a marvel of craftsmanship.The walls are adorned with honeycomb patterns carved into the stone, creating a mesmerizing visual display. Soft light filters through small openings in the dome-shaped ceiling, the centerpiece of the temple is a large altar made of honey-colored stone, adorned with intricate carvings of bees and honeycombs, where devotees offer their prayers and offerings. The Temple of Thong Tang is a place of worship dedicated to the reverence of bees and their significance in nature and the cycle of life, every day priests and priestesses of The Mother make their way to the temple to tend to the bees, bringing them water and sliced fruits, every year there is a festival outside the temple where priests and priestesses of Caihong distribute honey gathered from the bees.
Monyul is home to a large lake called Jangchub Tso, the lake is bordered by lush green forests and snow-capped mountains to the south-east, a product of Monyul's border with Taishigang.
On the edge of the lake there is a large city called "Gangri Thang", which is known for its fish markets and skilled boatwrights, nobles from the surrounding Kingdoms often commission boatwrights from Gangri Thang to build grand freshwater barges for them.
Several villages surround the lake, mostly fishing and farming communities, every spring fishermen from these villages make their way to Gangri Thang with hundreds of fish, hoping to hock their catch to fishmongers, tourists and Company of the Wind officers.
The fish they carry is mainly the several species of trout that live in the lake but a few of the lucky ones carry the Golden Mahseer, a gleaming fish variety that is said to be very difficult to catch, although the taste of the fish pales in comparison to the trout, the Golden Mahseer is revered for its scales that give off a vibrant golden glow, these scales are often used in ceremonial dress of the region adoring clothing and jewellery.
The people of Monyul are also skilled artisans, known for their intricate weavings and pottery. The kingdom is home to many workshops and marketplaces, where merchants sell their wares to buyers from all over the region. The people of Monyul are known for their skill at horsemanship, and the kingdom is home to some of the finest cavalry units in the region. The army of Monyul is also composed of archers and spearmen, who are trained in the art of mounted combat and guerrilla warfare.
The most prestigious regiment of Monyul is a cavalry unit called the White Tigers, the horsemasters of the White Tigers are known as the strictest in the Tonpa Kingdoms, if a horse fails a single training drill both the horse and rider are deemed unworthy. The White Tigers main weapon is a thick spear, painted red with a bronze spearhead, it has a heavy counterweight at the back that also doubles as a blunt weapon. Their secondary weapons are a heavy sword and a short bow.

When I was brand new to NovelAi I had no idea how 2048 tokens really looked as text. So for anyone looking at the tiers, trying to decide how many tokens they want for Clio with the new update, I've tokenized Part of The Great Gatsby by Scott Fitzgerald (public domain since 2021).
That way new users can more easily visualize what the AI's maximum context is for each tier. According to the UI Clio uses the NerdStash Tokenizer, as different tokenizers will convert text to tokens their own way.
------------------------
In my younger and more vulnerable years my father gave me some advice that I’ve been turning over in my mind ever since.
“Whenever you feel like criticizing anyone,” he told me, “just remember that all the people in this world haven’t had the advantages that you’ve had.”
He didn’t say any more, but we’ve always been unusually communicative in a reserved way, and I understood that he meant a great deal more than that. In consequence, I’m inclined to reserve all judgements, a habit that has opened up many curious natures to me and also made me the victim of not a few veteran bores. The abnormal mind is quick to detect and attach itself to this quality when it appears in a normal person, and so it came about that in college I was unjustly accused of being a politician, because I was privy to the secret griefs of wild, unknown men. Most of the confidences were unsought—frequently I have feigned sleep, preoccupation, or a hostile levity when I realized by some unmistakable sign that an intimate revelation was quivering on the horizon; for the intimate revelations of young men, or at least the terms in which they express them, are usually plagiaristic and marred by obvious suppressions. Reserving judgements is a matter of infinite hope. I am still a little afraid of missing something if I forget that, as my father snobbishly suggested, and I snobbishly repeat, a sense of the fundamental decencies is parcelled out unequally at birth.
And, after boasting this way of my tolerance, I come to the admission that it has a limit. Conduct may be founded on the hard rock or the wet marshes, but after a certain point I don’t care what it’s founded on. When I came back from the East last autumn I felt that I wanted the world to be in uniform and at a sort of moral attention forever; I wanted no more riotous excursions with privileged glimpses into the human heart. Only Gatsby, the man who gives his name to this book, was exempt from my reaction—Gatsby, who represented everything for which I have an unaffected scorn. If personality is an unbroken series of successful gestures, then there was something gorgeous about him, some heightened sensitivity to the promises of life, as if he were related to one of those intricate machines that register earthquakes ten thousand miles away. This responsiveness had nothing to do with that flabby impressionability which is dignified under the name of the “creative temperament”—it was an extraordinary gift for hope, a romantic readiness such as I have never found in any other person and which it is not likely I shall ever find again. No—Gatsby turned out all right at the end; it is what preyed on Gatsby, what foul dust floated in the wake of his dreams that temporarily closed out my interest in the abortive sorrows and short-winded elations of men.
My family have been prominent, well-to-do people in this Middle Western city for three generations. The Carraways are something of a clan, and we have a tradition that we’re descended from the Dukes of Buccleuch, but the actual founder of my line was my grandfather’s brother, who came here in fifty-one, sent a substitute to the Civil War, and started the wholesale hardware business that my father carries on today.
I never saw this great-uncle, but I’m supposed to look like him—with special reference to the rather hard-boiled painting that hangs in father’s office. I graduated from New Haven in 1915, just a quarter of a century after my father, and a little later I participated in that delayed Teutonic migration known as the Great War. I enjoyed the counter-raid so thoroughly that I came back restless. Instead of being the warm centre of the world, the Middle West now seemed like the ragged edge of the universe—so I decided to go East and learn the bond business. Everybody I knew was in the bond business, so I supposed it could support one more single man. All my aunts and uncles talked it over as if they were choosing a prep school for me, and finally said, “Why—ye-es,” with very grave, hesitant faces. Father agreed to finance me for a year, and after various delays I came East, permanently, I thought, in the spring of twenty-two.
The practical thing was to find rooms in the city, but it was a warm season, and I had just left a country of wide lawns and friendly trees, so when a young man at the office suggested that we take a house together in a commuting town, it sounded like a great idea. He found the house, a weather-beaten cardboard bungalow at eighty a month, but at the last minute the firm ordered him to Washington, and I went out to the country alone. I had a dog—at least I had him for a few days until he ran away—and an old Dodge and a Finnish woman, who made my bed and cooked breakfast and muttered Finnish wisdom to herself over the electric stove.
It was lonely for a day or so until one morning some man, more recently arrived than I, stopped me on the road.
“How do you get to West Egg village?” he asked helplessly.
I told him. And as I walked on I was lonely no longer. I was a guide, a pathfinder, an original settler. He had casually conferred on me the freedom of the neighbourhood.
And so with the sunshine and the great bursts of leaves growing on the trees, just as things grow in fast movies, I had that familiar conviction that life was beginning over again with the summer.
There was so much to read, for one thing, and so much fine health to be pulled down out of the young breath-giving air. I bought a dozen volumes on banking and credit and investment securities, and they stood on my shelf in red and gold like new money from the mint, promising to unfold the shining secrets that only Midas and Morgan and Maecenas knew. And I had the high intention of reading many other books besides. I was rather literary in college—one year I wrote a series of very solemn and obvious editorials for the Yale News—and now I was going to bring back all such things into my life and become again that most limited of all specialists, the “well-rounded man.” This isn’t just an epigram—life is much more successfully looked at from a single window, after all.
It was a matter of chance that I should have rented a house in one of the strangest communities in North America. It was on that slender riotous island which extends itself due east of New York—and where there are, among other natural curiosities, two unusual formations of land. Twenty miles from the city a pair of enormous eggs, identical in contour and separated only by a courtesy bay, jut out into the most domesticated body of salt water in the Western hemisphere, the great wet barnyard of Long Island Sound. They are not perfect ovals—like the egg in the Columbus story, they are both crushed flat at the contact end—but their physical resemblance must be a source of perpetual wonder to the gulls that fly overhead. To the wingless a more interesting phenomenon is their dissimilarity in every particular except shape and size.
I lived at West Egg, the—well, the less fashionable of the two, though this is a most superficial tag to express the bizarre and not a little sinister contrast between them. My house was at the very tip of the egg, only fifty yards from the Sound, and squeezed between two huge places that rented for twelve or fifteen thousand a season. The one on my right was a colossal affair by any standard—it was a factual imitation of some Hôtel de Ville in Normandy, with a tower on one side, spanking new under a thin beard of raw ivy, and a marble swimming pool, and more than forty acres of lawn and garden. It was Gatsby’s mansion. Or, rather, as I didn’t know Mr. Gatsby, it was a mansion inhabited by a gentleman of that name. My own house was an eyesore, but it was a small eyesore, and it had been overlooked, so I had a view of the water, a partial view of my neighbour’s lawn, and the consoling proximity of millionaires—all for eighty dollars a month.
Across the courtesy bay the white palaces of fashionable East Egg glittered along the water, and the history of the summer really begins on the evening I drove over there to have dinner with the Tom Buchanans. Daisy was my second cousin once removed, and I’d known Tom in college. And just after the war I spent two days with them in Chicago.
Her husband, among various physical accomplishments, had been one of the most powerful ends that ever played football at New Haven—a national figure in a way, one of those men who reach such an acute limited excellence at twenty-one that everything afterward savours of anticlimax. His family were enormously wealthy—even in college his freedom with money was a matter for reproach—but now he’d left Chicago and come East in a fashion that rather took your breath away: for instance, he’d brought down a string of polo ponies from Lake Forest. It was hard to realize that a man in my own generation was wealthy enough to do that.
Why they came East I don’t know. They had spent a year in France for no particular reason, and then drifted here and there unrestfully wherever people played polo and were rich together. This was a permanent move, said Daisy over the telephone, but I didn’t believe it—I had no sight into Daisy’s heart, but I felt that Tom would drift on forever seeking, a little wistfully, for the dramatic turbulence of some irrecoverable football game.
And so it happened that on a warm windy evening I drove over to East Egg to see two old friends whom I scarcely knew at all. Their house was even more elaborate than I expected, a cheerful red-and-white Georgian Colonial mansion, overlooking the bay. The lawn started at the beach and ran towards the front door for a quarter of a mile, jumping over sundials and brick walks and burning gardens—finally when it reached the house drifting up the side in bright vines as though from the momentum of its run. The front was broken by a line of French windows, glowing now with reflected gold and wide open to the warm windy afternoon, and Tom Buchanan in riding clothes was standing with his legs apart on the front porch.
He had changed since his New Haven years. Now he was a sturdy straw-haired man of thirty, with a rather hard mouth and a supercilious manner. Two shining arrogant eyes had established dominance over his face and gave him the appearance of always leaning aggressively forward. Not even the effeminate swank of his riding clothes could hide the enormous power of that body—he seemed to fill those glistening boots until he strained the top lacing, and you could see a great pack of muscle shifting when his shoulder moved under his thin coat. It was a body capable of enormous leverage—a cruel body.
His speaking voice, a gruff husky tenor, added to the impression of fractiousness he conveyed. There was a touch of paternal contempt in it, even toward people he liked—and there were men at New Haven who had hated his guts.
“Now, don’t think my opinion on these matters is final,” he seemed to say, “just because I’m stronger and more of a man than you are.” We were in the same senior society, and while we were never intimate I always had the impression that he approved of me and wanted me to like him with some harsh, defiant wistfulness of his own.
We talked for a few minutes on the sunny porch.
“I’ve got a nice place here,” he said, his eyes flashing about restlessly.
Turning me around by one arm, he moved a broad flat hand along the front vista, including in its sweep a sunken Italian garden, a half acre of deep, pungent roses, and a snub-nosed motorboat that bumped the tide offshore.
“It belonged to Demaine, the oil man.” He turned me around again, politely and abruptly. “We’ll go inside.”
We walked through a high hallway into a bright rosy-coloured space, fragilely bound into the house by French windows at either end. The windows were ajar and gleaming white against the fresh grass outside that seemed to grow a little way into the house. A breeze blew through the room, blew curtains in at one end and out the other like pale flags, twisting them up toward the frosted wedding-cake of the ceiling, and then rippled over the wine-coloured rug, making a shadow on it as wind does on the sea.
The only completely stationary object in the room was an enormous couch on which two young women were buoyed up as though upon an anchored balloon. They were both in white, and their dresses were rippling and fluttering as if they had just been blown back in after a short flight around the house. I must have stood for a few moments listening to the whip and snap of the curtains and the groan of a picture on the wall. Then there was a boom as Tom Buchanan shut the rear windows and the caught wind died out about the room, and the curtains and the rugs and the two young women ballooned slowly to the floor.
The younger of the two was a stranger to me. She was extended full length at her end of the divan, completely motionless, and with her chin raised a little, as if she were balancing something on it which was quite likely to fall. If she saw me out of the corner of her eyes she gave no hint of it—indeed, I was almost surprised into murmuring an apology for having disturbed her by coming in.
The other girl, Daisy, made an attempt to rise—she leaned slightly forward with a conscientious expression—then she laughed, an absurd, charming little laugh, and I laughed too and came forward into the room.
“I’m p-paralysed with happiness.”
She
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laughed again, as if she said something very witty, and held my hand for a moment, looking up into my face, promising that there was no one in the world she so much wanted to see. That was a way she had. She hinted in a murmur that the surname of the balancing girl was Baker. (I’ve heard it said that Daisy’s murmur was only to make people lean toward her; an irrelevant criticism that made it no less charming.)
At any rate, Miss Baker’s lips fluttered, she nodded at me almost imperceptibly, and then quickly tipped her head back again—the object she was balancing had obviously tottered a little and given her something of a fright. Again a sort of apology arose to my lips. Almost any exhibition of complete self-sufficiency draws a stunned tribute from me.
I looked back at my cousin, who began to ask me questions in her low, thrilling voice. It was the kind of voice that the ear follows up and down, as if each speech is an arrangement of notes that will never be played again. Her face was sad and lovely with bright things in it, bright eyes and a bright passionate mouth, but there was an excitement in her voice that men who had cared for her found difficult to forget: a singing compulsion, a whispered “Listen,” a promise that she had done gay, exciting things just a while since and that there were gay, exciting things hovering in the next hour.
I told her how I had stopped off in Chicago for a day on my way East, and how a dozen people had sent their love through me.
“Do they miss me?” she cried ecstatically.
“The whole town is desolate. All the cars have the left rear wheel painted black as a mourning wreath, and there’s a persistent wail all night along the north shore.”
“How gorgeous! Let’s go back, Tom. Tomorrow!” Then she added irrelevantly: “You ought to see the baby.”
“I’d like to.”
“She’s asleep. She’s three years old. Haven’t you ever seen her?”
“Never.”
“Well, you ought to see her. She’s—”
Tom Buchanan, who had been hovering restlessly about the room, stopped and rested his hand on my shoulder.
“What you doing, Nick?”
“I’m a bond man.”
“Who with?”
I told him.
“Never heard of them,” he remarked decisively.
This annoyed me.
“You will,” I answered shortly. “You will if you stay in the East.”
“Oh, I’ll stay in the East, don’t you worry,” he said, glancing at Daisy and then back at me, as if he were alert for something more. “I’d be a God damned fool to live anywhere else.”
At this point Miss Baker said: “Absolutely!” with such suddenness that I started—it was the first word she had uttered since I came into the room. Evidently it surprised her as much as it did me, for she yawned and with a series of rapid, deft movements stood up into the room.
“I’m stiff,” she complained, “I’ve been lying on that sofa for as long as I can remember.”
“Don’t look at me,” Daisy retorted, “I’ve been trying to get you to New York all afternoon.”
“No, thanks,” said Miss Baker to the four cocktails just in from the pantry. “I’m absolutely in training.”
Her host looked at her incredulously.
“You are!” He took down his drink as if it were a drop in the bottom of a glass. “How you ever get anything done is beyond me.”
I looked at Miss Baker, wondering what it was she “got done.” I enjoyed looking at her. She was a slender, small-breasted girl, with an erect carriage, which she accentuated by throwing her body backward at the shoulders like a young cadet. Her grey sun-strained eyes looked back at me with polite reciprocal curiosity out of a wan, charming, discontented face. It occurred to me now that I had seen her, or a picture of her, somewhere before.
“You live in West Egg,” she remarked contemptuously. “I know somebody there.”
“I don’t know a single—”
“You must know Gatsby.”
“Gatsby?” demanded Daisy. “What Gatsby?”
Before I could reply that he was my neighbour dinner was announced; wedging his tense arm imperatively under mine, Tom Buchanan compelled me from the room as though he were moving a checker to another square.
Slenderly, languidly, their hands set lightly on their hips, the two young women preceded us out on to a rosy-coloured porch, open toward the sunset, where four candles flickered on the table in the diminished wind.
“Why candles?” objected Daisy, frowning. She snapped them out with her fingers. “In two weeks it’ll be the longest day in the year.” She looked at us all radiantly. “Do you always watch for the longest day of the year and then miss it? I always watch for the longest day in the year and then miss it.”
“We ought to plan something,” yawned Miss Baker, sitting down at the table as if she were getting into bed.
“All right,” said Daisy. “What’ll we plan?” She turned to me helplessly: “What do people plan?”
Before I could answer her eyes fastened with an awed expression on her little finger.
“Look!” she complained; “I hurt it.”
We all looked—the knuckle was black and blue.
“You did it, Tom,” she said accusingly. “I know you didn’t mean to, but you did do it. That’s what I get for marrying a brute of a man, a great, big, hulking physical specimen of a—”
“I hate that word ‘hulking,’ ” objected Tom crossly, “even in kidding.”
“Hulking,” insisted Daisy.
Sometimes she and Miss Baker talked at once, unobtrusively and with a bantering inconsequence that was never quite chatter, that was as cool as their white dresses and their impersonal eyes in the absence of all desire. They were here, and they accepted Tom and me, making only a polite pleasant effort to entertain or to be entertained. They knew that presently dinner would be over and a little later the evening too would be over and casually put away. It was sharply different from the West, where an evening was hurried from phase to phase towards its close, in a continually disappointed anticipation or else in sheer nervous dread of the moment itself.
“You make me feel uncivilized, Daisy,” I confessed on my second glass of corky but rather impressive claret. “Can’t you talk about crops or something?”
I meant nothing in particular by this remark, but it was taken up in an unexpected way.
“Civilization’s going to pieces,” broke out Tom violently. “I’ve gotten to be a terrible pessimist about things. Have you read The Rise of the Coloured Empires by this man Goddard?”
“Why, no,” I answered, rather surprised by his tone.
“Well, it’s a fine book, and everybody ought to read it. The idea is if we don’t look out the white race will be—will be utterly submerged. It’s all scientific stuff; it’s been proved.”
“Tom’s getting very profound,” said Daisy, with an expression of unthoughtful sadness. “He reads deep books with long words in them. What was that word we—”
“Well, these books are all scientific,” insisted Tom, glancing at her impatiently. “This fellow has worked out the whole thing. It’s up to us, who are the dominant race, to watch out or these other races will have control of things.”
“We’ve got to beat them down,” whispered Daisy, winking ferociously toward the fervent sun.
“You ought to live in California—” began Miss Baker, but Tom interrupted her by shifting heavily in his chair.
“This idea is that we’re Nordics. I am, and you are, and you are, and—” After an infinitesimal hesitation he included Daisy with a slight nod, and she winked at me again. “—And we’ve produced all the things that go to make civilization—oh, science and art, and all that. Do you see?”
There was something pathetic in his concentration, as if his complacency, more acute than of old, was not enough to him any more. When, almost immediately, the telephone rang inside and the butler left the porch Daisy seized upon the momentary interruption and leaned towards me.
“I’ll tell you a family secret,” she whispered enthusiastically. “It’s about the butler’s nose. Do you want to hear about the butler’s nose?”
“That’s why I came over tonight.”
“Well, he wasn’t always a butler; he used to be the silver polisher for some people in New York that had a silver service for two hundred people. He had to polish it from morning till night, until finally it began to affect his nose—”
“Things went from bad to worse,” suggested Miss Baker.
“Yes. Things went from bad to worse, until finally he had to give up his position.”
For a moment the last sunshine fell with romantic affection upon her glowing face; her voice compelled me forward breathlessly as I listened—then the glow faded, each light deserting her with lingering regret, like children leaving a pleasant street at dusk.
The butler came back and murmured something close to Tom’s ear, whereupon Tom frowned, pushed back his chair, and without a word went inside. As if his absence quickened something within her, Daisy leaned forward again, her voice glowing and singing.
“I love to see you at my table, Nick. You remind me of a—of a rose, an absolute rose. Doesn’t he?” She turned to Miss Baker for confirmation: “An absolute rose?”
This was untrue. I am not even faintly like a rose. She was only extemporizing, but a stirring warmth flowed from her, as if her heart was trying to come out to you concealed in one of those breathless, thrilling words. Then suddenly she threw her napkin on the table and excused herself and went into the house.
Miss Baker and I exchanged a short glance consciously devoid of meaning. I was about to speak when she sat up alertly and said “Sh!” in a warning voice. A subdued impassioned murmur was audible in the room beyond, and Miss Baker leaned forward unashamed, trying to hear. The murmur trembled on the verge of coherence, sank down, mounted excitedly, and then ceased altogether.
“This Mr. Gatsby you spoke of is my neighbour—” I began.
“Don’t talk. I want to hear what happens.”
“Is something happening?” I inquired innocently.
“You mean to say you don’t know?” said Miss Baker, honestly surprised. “I thought everybody knew.”
“I don’t.”
“Why—” she said hesitantly. “Tom’s got some woman in New York.”
“Got some woman?” I repeated blankly.
Miss Baker nodded.
“She might have the decency not to telephone him at dinner time. Don’t you think?”
Almost before I had grasped her meaning there was the flutter of a dress and the crunch of leather boots, and Tom and Daisy were back at the table.
“It couldn’t be helped!” cried Daisy with tense gaiety.
She sat down, glanced searchingly at Miss Baker and then at me, and continued: “I looked outdoors for a minute, and it’s very romantic outdoors. There’s a bird on the lawn that I think must be a nightingale come over on the Cunard or White Star Line. He’s singing away—” Her voice sang: “It’s romantic, isn’t it, Tom?”
“Very romantic,” he said, and then miserably to me: “If it’s light enough after dinner, I want to take you down to the stables.”
The telephone rang inside, startlingly, and as Daisy shook her head decisively at Tom the subject of the stables, in fact all subjects, vanished into air. Among the broken fragments of the last five minutes at table I remember the candles being lit again, pointlessly, and I was conscious of wanting to look squarely at everyone, and yet to avoid all eyes. I couldn’t guess what Daisy and Tom were thinking, but I doubt if even Miss Baker, who seemed to have mastered a certain hardy scepticism, was able utterly to put this fifth guest’s shrill metallic urgency out of mind. To a certain temperament the situation might have seemed intriguing—my own instinct was to telephone immediately for the police.
The horses, needless to say, were not mentioned again. Tom and Miss Baker, with several feet of twilight between them, strolled back into the library, as if to a vigil beside a perfectly tangible body, while, trying to look pleasantly interested and a little deaf, I followed Daisy around a chain of connecting verandas to the porch in front. In its deep gloom we sat down side by side on a wicker settee.
Daisy took her face in her hands as if feeling its lovely shape, and her eyes moved gradually out into the velvet dusk. I saw that turbulent emotions possessed her, so I asked what I thought would be some sedative questions about her little girl.
“We don’t know each other very well, Nick,” she said suddenly. “Even if we are cousins. You didn’t come to my wedding.”
“I wasn’t back from the war.”
“That’s true.” She hesitated. “Well, I’ve had a very bad time, Nick, and I’m pretty cynical about everything.”
Evidently she had reason to be. I waited but she
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didn’t say any more, and after a moment I returned rather feebly to the subject of her daughter.
“I suppose she talks, and—eats, and everything.”
“Oh, yes.” She looked at me absently. “Listen, Nick; let me tell you what I said when she was born. Would you like to hear?”
“Very much.”
“It’ll show you how I’ve gotten to feel about—things. Well, she was less than an hour old and Tom was God knows where. I woke up out of the ether with an utterly abandoned feeling, and asked the nurse right away if it was a boy or a girl. She told me it was a girl, and so I turned my head away and wept. ‘All right,’ I said, ‘I’m glad it’s a girl. And I hope she’ll be a fool—that’s the best thing a girl can be in this world, a beautiful little fool.’
“You see I think everything’s terrible anyhow,” she went on in a convinced way. “Everybody thinks so—the most advanced people. And I know. I’ve been everywhere and seen everything and done everything.” Her eyes flashed around her in a defiant way, rather like Tom’s, and she laughed with thrilling scorn. “Sophisticated—God, I’m sophisticated!”
The instant her voice broke off, ceasing to compel my attention, my belief, I felt the basic insincerity of what she had said. It made me uneasy, as though the whole evening had been a trick of some sort to exact a contributory emotion from me. I waited, and sure enough, in a moment she looked at me with an absolute smirk on her lovely face, as if she had asserted her membership in a rather distinguished secret society to which she and Tom belonged.
Inside, the crimson room bloomed with light. Tom and Miss Baker sat at either end of the long couch and she read aloud to him from the Saturday Evening Post—the words, murmurous and uninflected, running together in a soothing tune. The lamplight, bright on his boots and dull on the autumn-leaf yellow of her hair, glinted along the paper as she turned a page with a flutter of slender muscles in her arms.
When we came in she held us silent for a moment with a lifted hand.
“To be continued,” she said, tossing the magazine on the table, “in our very next issue.”
Her body asserted itself with a restless movement of her knee, and she stood up.
“Ten o’clock,” she remarked, apparently finding the time on the ceiling. “Time for this good girl to go to bed.”
“Jordan’s going to play in the tournament tomorrow,” explained Daisy, “over at Westchester.”
“Oh—you’re Jordan Baker.”
I knew now why her face was familiar—its pleasing contemptuous expression had looked out at me from many rotogravure pictures of the sporting life at Asheville and Hot Springs and Palm Beach. I had heard some story of her too, a critical, unpleasant story, but what it was I had forgotten long ago.
“Good night,” she said softly. “Wake me at eight, won’t you.”
“If you’ll get up.”
“I will. Good night, Mr. Carraway. See you anon.”
“Of course you will,” confirmed Daisy. “In fact I think I’ll arrange a marriage. Come over often, Nick, and I’ll sort of—oh—fling you together. You know—lock you up accidentally in linen closets and push you out to sea in a boat, and all that sort of thing—”
“Good night,” called Miss Baker from the stairs. “I haven’t heard a word.”
“She’s a nice girl,” said Tom after a moment. “They oughtn’t to let her run around the country this way.”
“Who oughtn’t to?” inquired Daisy coldly.
“Her family.”
“Her family is one aunt about a thousand years old. Besides, Nick’s going to look after her, aren’t you, Nick? She’s going to spend lots of weekends out here this summer. I think the home influence will be very good for her.”
Daisy and Tom looked at each other for a moment in silence.
“Is she from New York?” I asked quickly.
“From Louisville. Our white girlhood was passed together there. Our beautiful white—”
“Did you give Nick a little heart to heart talk on the veranda?” demanded Tom suddenly.
“Did I?” She looked at me. “I can’t seem to remember, but I think we talked about the Nordic race. Yes, I’m sure we did. It sort of crept up on us and first thing you know—”
“Don’t believe everything you hear, Nick,” he advised me.
I said lightly that I had heard nothing at all, and a few minutes later I got up to go home. They came to the door with me and stood side by side in a cheerful square of light. As I started my motor Daisy peremptorily called: “Wait!”
“I forgot to ask you something, and it’s important. We heard you were engaged to a girl out West.”
“That’s right,” corroborated Tom kindly. “We heard that you were engaged.”
“It’s a libel. I’m too poor.”
“But we heard it,” insisted Daisy, surprising me by opening up again in a flower-like way. “We heard it from three people, so it must be true.”
Of course I knew what they were referring to, but I wasn’t even vaguely engaged. The fact that gossip had published the banns was one of the reasons I had come East. You can’t stop going with an old friend on account of rumours, and on the other hand I had no intention of being rumoured into marriage.
Their interest rather touched me and made them less remotely rich—nevertheless, I was confused and a little disgusted as I drove away. It seemed to me that the thing for Daisy to do was to rush out of the house, child in arms—but apparently there were no such intentions in her head. As for Tom, the fact that he “had some woman in New York” was really less surprising than that he had been depressed by a book. Something was making him nibble at the edge of stale ideas as if his sturdy physical egotism no longer nourished his peremptory heart.
Already it was deep summer on roadhouse roofs and in front of wayside garages, where new red petrol-pumps sat out in pools of light, and when I reached my estate at West Egg I ran the car under its shed and sat for a while on an abandoned grass roller in the yard. The wind had blown off, leaving a loud, bright night, with wings beating in the trees and a persistent organ sound as the full bellows of the earth blew the frogs full of life. The silhouette of a moving cat wavered across the moonlight, and, turning my head to watch it, I saw that I was not alone—fifty feet away a figure had emerged from the shadow of my neighbour’s mansion and was standing with his hands in his pockets regarding the silver pepper of the stars. Something in his leisurely movements and the secure position of his feet upon the lawn suggested that it was Mr. Gatsby himself, come out to determine what share was his of our local heavens.
I decided to call to him. Miss Baker had mentioned him at dinner, and that would do for an introduction. But I didn’t call to him, for he gave a sudden intimation that he was content to be alone—he stretched out his arms toward the dark water in a curious way, and, far as I was from him, I could have sworn he was trembling. Involuntarily I glanced seaward—and distinguished nothing except a single green light, minute and far away, that might have been the end of a dock. When I looked once more for Gatsby he had vanished, and I was alone again in the unquiet darkness.
II
About halfway between West Egg and New York the motor road hastily joins the railroad and runs beside it for a quarter of a mile, so as to shrink away from a certain desolate area of land. This is a valley of ashes—a fantastic farm where ashes grow like wheat into ridges and hills and grotesque gardens; where ashes take the forms of houses and chimneys and rising smoke and, finally, with a transcendent effort, of ash-grey men, who move dimly and already crumbling through the powdery air. Occasionally a line of grey cars crawls along an invisible track, gives out a ghastly creak, and comes to rest, and immediately the ash-grey men swarm up with leaden spades and stir up an impenetrable cloud, which screens their obscure operations from your sight.
But above the grey land and the spasms of bleak dust which drift endlessly over it, you perceive, after a moment, the eyes of Doctor T. J. Eckleburg. The eyes of Doctor T. J. Eckleburg are blue and gigantic—their retinas are one yard high. They look out of no face, but, instead, from a pair of enormous yellow spectacles which pass over a nonexistent nose. Evidently some wild wag of an oculist set them there to
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Big Miracle* (Split)HDiTunes
Big Mommas: Like Father, Like SonSDiTunes
The Big Wedding (Split)HDVUDU
The Big Wedding (Split)HDiTunes
Black Panther (Split)HDGoogle Play
Black Swan*SDiTunes
Black Widow (Split)HDGoogle Play
The Bling Ring (A24)HDVUDU
The Bob's Burgers Movie (Split)HDGoogle Play
Book Club (Split)HDVUDU
Book Club (Split)HDiTunes
The Boss* (Split)HDiTunes
The Boss (Split)HDMovies Anywhere
The Bourne Legacy (Split)HDMovies Anywhere
The Bourne Legacy* (Split)4KiTunes
Boyhood (Split)HDVUDU
Boyhood (Split)HDiTunes
BraveSDiTunes
BridesmaidsHDiTunes
Bridge of Spies* (Split)HDGoogle Play
Brooklyn's FinestSDiTunes
Bumblebee (Split)4KiTunes
The ButlerHDVUDU
The Bye Bye Man (Split)HDMovies Anywhere
The Bye Bye Man* (Split)HDiTunes
Call of the Wild (Split)HDGoogle Play
Captain America: Civil War* (Split)4KiTunes
Captain America: Civil War (Split)HDGoogle Play
Captain Marvel (Split)HDGoogle Play
Captain PhillipsHDMovies Anywhere
Captain Underpants: The First Epic MovieHDMovies Anywhere
The Case For Christ (Split)HDMovies Anywhere
Cedar Rapids*SDiTunes
Celebrating Mickey (Split)HDGoogle Play
The ChoiceHDVUDU
Cinderella [Live Action]* (Split)4KiTunes
Cinderella [Live Action] (Split)HDGoogle Play
Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs 2SDMovies Anywhere
Contraband*HDiTunes
Coco*4KiTunes
CocoHDGoogle Play
Cowboys & Aliens*HDiTunes
The Crazies (2010)SDiTunes
CriminalHDVUDU
The CroodsHDMovies Anywhere
Cruella (Split)HDGoogle Play
Cut Bank (A24)HDVUDU
Daddy's Home (Split)4KiTunes
Daddy's Home (Split)HDVUDU
Dallas Buyers Club* (Split)HDiTunes
Dallas Buyers Club (Split)HDMovies Anywhere
Dawn of the Planet of the Apes4KiTunes
Dead Man DownSDMovies Anywhere
Deadwood Complete SeriesHDGoogle Play
The DescendantsSDiTunes
Deepwater Horizon4KiTunes
Despicable Me 2 (Split)HDMovies Anywhere
Despicable Me 2* (Split)4KiTunes
The Devil InsideSDVUDU
Diary of a Wimpy KidHDMovies Anywhere
Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long HaulHDMovies Anywhere
The Dictator (Split)HDVUDU
The Dictator (Split)HDiTunes
Die Hard Collection 1-4SDMovies Anywhere
Divergent (Split)HDVUDU
Divergent (Split)4KiTunes
The Divergent Series: InsurgentHDVUDU
Django UnchainedHDVUDU
Doctor Strange (Split)HDGoogle Play
Dredd (Split)HDVUDU
Dredd (Split)4KVUDU
Due DateSDiTunes
The DuffHDVUDU
ElysiumSDMovies Anywhere
The Emoji MovieHDMovies Anywhere
Empire of Light (Split)HDGoogle Play
EpicHDMovies Anywhere
EpicSDiTunes
The EqualizerHDMovies Anywhere
Eternals (Split)HDGoogle Play
EverestHDMovies Anywhere
Ex Machina (A24)HDVUDU
The Expendables 2HDVUDU
The Expendables 34KVUDU
ExposedHDVUDU
ExtractionHDVUDU
The Eyes of Tammy Faye (Split)HDGoogle Play
Falling Skies: Season OneSDVUDU
Family Guy: Blue HarvestSDiTunes
Fast & Furious 6 Extended (Split)HDVUDU/Movies Anywhere
Fast & Furious 6 Extended* (Split)4KiTunes
The Fast & The Furious: Tokyo Drift* (Split)4KiTunes
The Fast & The Furious: Tokyo Drift (Split)HDVUDU/Movies Anywhere
Fatale4KVUDU
Fathers and DaughtersSDVUDU
The Fate Of The Furious [Extended Director's Cut]HDMovies Anywhere
The Fault in Our Stars*4KiTunes
Fifty Shades Of Grey [Unrated] (Split)HDMovies Anywhere
Fifty Shades Of Grey [Unrated]* (Split)HDiTunes
The Fighter4KiTunes
Finding Dory* (Split)4KiTunes
Finding Dory (Split)HDGoogle Play
The Flash: Season OneHDVUDU
Florence Foster Jenkins (Split)HDVUDU
Florence Foster Jenkins (Split)HDiTunes
Footloose [2011] (Split)HDVUDU
Footloose [2011] (Split)HDiTunes
Frankenweenie [2012] (Split)HDGoogle Play
Frozen (Split)HDGoogle Play
Frozen* (Split)4KiTunes
Frozen "Sing Along Edition"* (Split)HDiTunes
Frozen "Sing Along Edition" (Split)HDGoogle Play
Frozen GroundHDVUDU
Furious 7 [Extended Version]* (Split)4KiTunes
Furious 7 [Extended Version] (Split)HDMovies Anywhere
FuryHDMovies Anywhere
Get Shorty: Season 1HDVUDU
Ghostbusters 'Theatrical + Extended' [2016]SDMovies Anywhere
The Girl On The TrainHDMovies Anywhere
Girls NightHDMovies Anywhere
The GiverHDVUDU
God's Not Dead 2 (Split)HDMovies Anywhere
God's Not Dead: A Light in DarknessHDMovies Anywhere
The Good Dinosaur (Split)HDGoogle Play
Good Will HuntingHDVUDU
GoosebumpsSDMovies Anywhere
GravityHDMovies Anywhere
The Great Gatsby [2013]HDMovies Anywhere
Green ZoneSDiTunes
The Grey (Split)HDMovies Anywhere
The Grey (Split)HDiTunes
Grown Ups 2SDMovies Anywhere
Guardians Of The Galaxy* (Split)4KiTunes
Guardians Of The Galaxy (Split)HDGoogle Play
Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol. 2 (Split)HDGoogle Play
The Guilt TripHDiTunes
Hacksaw Ridge (Split)HDVUDU
Hard Target 2HDMovies Anywhere
HaywireSDiTunes
The HeatHDMovies Anywhere
The HeatSDMovies Anywhere
Heaven is For RealSDMovies Anywhere
HeistHDVUDU
Hell or High Water (Split)HDVUDU
Hell or High Water (Split)4KiTunes
HellBoy II: The Golden Army* (Split)4KiTunes
Hell Fest4KVUDU
Hercules (2014)4KiTunes
Here Comes The BoomHDMovies Anywhere
Here Comes The BoomSDMovies Anywhere
Hereditary (A24)HDVUDU
Hidden Figures*4KiTunes
HitmanSDiTunes
Hitman Agent 47*4KiTunes
Hocus Pocus (Split)HDGoogle Play
A Hologram For a KingSDVUDU
Home (2015)HDMovies Anywhere
Home Alone*4KiTunes
Homefront (Split)HDMovies Anywhere
Homefront* (Split)HDiTunes
Hop (Split)HDMovies Anywhere
Hop* (Split)HDiTunes
Hope SpringsSDMovies Anywhere
The Host*HDiTunes
Hotel TransylvaniaHDMovies Anywhere
Hotel TranslyvaniaSDMovies Anywhere
Hotel Translyvania 2SDMovies Anywhere
HugoSDVUDU
The HulkSDiTunes
The Hunger GamesHDVUDU
The Hunger Games: Catching Fire (Split)HDVUDU
The Hunger Games: Catching Fire (Split)4KiTunes
The Hunger Games: Mocking Jay Part 1HDVUDU
The Hunger Games: Mocking Jay Part 2HDVUDU
Huntsman Winter's War "Extended Edition"*4KiTunes
I, FrankensteinHDVUDU
I Am WrathSDVUDU
Ice AgeHDMovies Anywhere
Ice Age: Dawn of the DinosaursSDiTunes
Ice Age: Mammoth Christmas SpecialSDiTunes
Identity Thief*HDiTunes
The Imitation GameHDVUDU
ImmortalsSDiTunes
I'm Not Ashamed* (Split)HDiTunes
The Incredibles 2 (Split)HDGoogle Play
Inglorious BasterdsSDiTunes
Inside Man *HDMovies Anywhere
Inside Out (Split)HDGoogle Play
Inside Out* (Split)4KiTunes
Iron Man 3*(Split)4KiTunes
Iron Man 3 (Split)HDGoogle Play
Jack Reacher (Split)HDVUDU
Jack Reacher (Split)4KiTunes
Jack Reacher: Never Back Down (Split)HDVUDU
Jack Reacher: Never Back Down (Split)4KiTunes
Jake and the Neverland Pirates: Jake Saves BuckySDiTunes
Jason Bourne (Split)HDVUDU
Jason Bourne* (Split)4KiTunes
JoeSDVUDU
John Wick (Split)HDVUDU
John Wick (Split)4KiTunes
John Wick: Chapter 3 - Parabellum4KVUDU
John Wick: Chapter 3 - Parabellum4KiTunes
JumperSDiTunes
The Jungle Book [Live Action] (Split)HDGoogle Play
Jungle Cruise (Split)HDGoogle Play
Jupiter AscendingHDMovies Anywhere
Jurassic Park* (Split)4KiTunes
Jurassic Park (Split)HDMovies Anywhere
Justice*HDiTunes
Katy Perry: Part Of Me (Split)SDVUDU
Katy Perry: Part Of Me (Split)SDiTunes
Kevin Hart: Let Me ExplainHDVUDU
Kick-Ass 2*HDiTunes
The Kid Who Would Be KingHDMovies Anywhere
Killing Them SoftlyHDVUDU
The King's Man (Split)HDGoogle Play
Knight and DayHDMovies Anywhere
Knight and DaySDiTunes
Knock Knock (2015)HDVUDU
Knock Knock (2015)SDVUDU
La La Land4KiTunes
Lady & The Tramp (Split)HDGoogle Play
The Last Duel (Split)HDGoogle Play
Last KnightsHDVUDU
Last VegasSDMovies Anywhere
Last VegasHDMovies Anywhere
The Last Witch HunterHDVUDU
Lea To The Rescue*HDiTunes
The Legend Of HerculesHDVUDU
The LegionHDiTunes
Life of Pi4KiTunes
Lightyear (Split)HDGoogle Play
The Lion King [Live Action] (Split)HDGoogle Play
The Little Mermaid* (Split)4K (Will Port To MA in 4K but only HD in VUDU)iTunes
The Little Mermaid (Split)HDGoogle Play
Little Women [2019]SDMovies Anywhere
Logan*4KiTunes
Lone Survivor* (Split)4KiTunes
Lone Survivor (Split)HDMovies Anywhere
LooperHDMovies Anywhere
LooperSDMovies Anywhere
The Lorax* [2012] (Split)HDiTunes
The LosersSDMovies Anywhere
Love Actually (Spilt)HDiTunes
Love The CoopersHDVUDU
Luca (Split)HDGoogle Play
Lucy* (Split)4KiTunes
Lucy (Split)HDMovies Anywhere
Madagascar 3: Europe's Most WantedHDMovies Anywhere
Madea's Witness ProtectionHDVUDU
MaggieHDVUDU
Maleficent* (Split)4KiTunes
Maleficent (Split)HDGoogle Play
Maleficent: Mistress of Evil (Split)HDGoogle Play
The Many Adventures of Winnie The Pooh (Split)HDGoogle Play
Mamma Mia! : The Movie*SDiTunes
Mamma Mia! : Here We Go Again [2018]HDMovies Anywhere
Marley & Me*SDiTunes
Mary Poppins [1964] (Split)HDGoogle Play
Max Payne*SDiTunes
The Maze Runner*4KiTunes
Mechanic ResurrectionHDVUDU
MegamindHDMovies Anywhere
Men In Black 3SDMovies Anywhere
MidwayHDVUDU
Midway4KiTunes
MindgamersHDMovies Anywhere
Miss Peregrine's Home For Peculiar Children*4KiTunes
Mission Impossible 2 (Split)4KiTunes
Mission Impossible 2 (Split)HDVUDU
Mission Impossible Fallout (Split)4KiTunes
Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol (Split)4KiTunes
Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol (Split)HDVUDU
Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation (Split)4KiTunes
Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation (Split)HDVUDU
Moana (Split)HDGoogle Play
Monster High: Electrified (Split)HDMovies Anywhere
Monster High: Electrified* (Split)HDiTunes
Monster High: Welcome To Monster High (Split)HDMovies Anywhere
Monster University (Split)HDGoogle Play
Monte Carlo*SDiTunes
MortdecaiHDVUDU
Moonrise Kingdom (Split)HDMovies Anywhere
Moonrise Kingdom* (Split)HDiTunes
Mother!4KiTunes
The Monuments MenSDMovies Anywhere
The Mortal Instruments: City of BonesSDMovies Anywhere
Mr. Peabody & Sherman [2014]HDMovies Anywhere
MudHDVUDU
The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor*SDiTunes
My Little Pony: The MovieHDVUDU or iTunes
NebraskaHDiTunes
Neighbors*HDiTunes
Neighbors 2*HDiTunes
Night At The Museum: Secret Of The Tomb4KiTunes
Nightmare Alley (Split)HDGoogle Play
No EscapeHDVUDU
No Strings Attached (Split)HDiTunes
Noah (Split)HDVUDU
Noah (Split)HDiTunes
Nobody's Fool4KiTunes
Nonstop (Split)HDMovies Anywhere
Now You See Me (Split)4KiTunes
Now You See Me (Split)HDVUDU
The Nutcracker & The Four RealmsHDGoogle Play
Oblivion (Split)HDMovies Anywhere
Oblivion* (Split)4KiTunes
Olympus Has FallenHDMovies Anywhere
One Direction: This is UsSDMovies Anywhere
Ouija*HDiTunes
Overlord (Split)4KiTunes
Oz The Great And Powerful* (Split)HDiTunes
Oz The Great And Powerful (Split)HDGoogle Play
PaddingtonHDVUDU
Paper Towns*4KiTunes
Paranormal Activity (Split)HDVUDU
Paranormal Activity (Split)HDiTunes
ParaNormanHDiTunes
ParkerHDMovies Anywhere
ParkerSDMovies Anywhere
PassengersSDMovies Anywhere
Paul Blart Mall Cop 2SDMovies Anywhere
The Peanuts Movie*4KiTunes
Percy Jackson: Sea of MonstersHDMovies Anywhere
The Perks Of Being A WallflowerHDVUDU
Peter RabbitSDMovies Anywhere
PhilomenaHDVUDU
The Pirates! Band of MisfitsSDMovies Anywhere
Pitch Perfect*4KiTunes
Pitch Perfect 2HDMovies Anywhere
PixelsSDMovies Anywhere
Playing With Fire4KiTunes
The Possession (Split)HDiTunes
The Possession (Split)HDVUDU
The Princess & The Frog (Split)HDGoogle Play
The Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales (Split)HDGoogle Play
PrometheusHDMovies Anywhere
The ProtectorSDVUDU
Public EnemiesSDiTunes
Pulp FictionHDVUDU
The Purge (Split)HDMovies Anywhere
The Purge: Anarchy* (Split)4KiTunes
The Purge: Anarchy (Split)HDMovies Anywhere
The Purge: Election Year* (Split)4KiTunes
The Purge: Election Year (Split)HDMovies Anywhere
Queen of Katwe (Split)HDMovies Anywhere
RamboSDiTunes
Rambo: First Blood4KVUDU
Rambo: First Blood Part II4KVUDU
Ratatouille* (Split)4KiTunes
Ratatouille (Split)HDGoogle Play
Red 2 (Split)HDVUDU
Red 2 (Split)4KiTunes
Red Dawn [2012]HDVUDU
ReprisalHDVUDU
Resident Evil: RetributionSDMovies Anywhere
The Revenant*4KiTunes
Ride Along (Split)HDMovies Anywhere
Ride Along* (Split)HDiTunes
Rio 2HDMovies Anywhere
Rise of the Planet of the Apes*4KiTunes
RisenHDMovies Anywhere
Robin Hood [2010]*SDiTunes
Robin Hood [1973 Disney Animation]* (Split)HDiTunes
Robin Hood [1973 Disney Animation] (Split)HDGoogle Play
The Rocker*SDiTunes
Roman J. Israel, ESQ.SDMovies Anywhere
Ron's Gone Wrong (Split)HDGoogle Play
Run All NightHDMovies Anywhere
Russell MadnessHDMovies Anywhere
SafeHDVudu
Safe House (Spilt)HDMovies Anywhere
Safe House* (Spilt)HDiTunes
Safety Not GuaranteedHDMovies Anywhere
The Santa Claus (Split)HDGoogle Play
The Santa Claus 3 (Split)HDGoogle Play
Sausage PartySDMovies Anywhere
Saving Mr. Banks* (Split)HDGoogle Play
The Scorpion King 3: Battle For Redemption (Split)HDMovies Anywhere
Search Party* (Split)HDiTunes
Secret in Their Eyes (Split)HDMovies Anywhere
Secret in Their Eyes* (Split)HDiTunes
The Secret Life of Pets*4KiTunes
SelmaHDiTunes
Sex TapeSDMovies Anywhere
Shrek The ThirdHDMovies Anywhere
Silence HDiTunes
Silver Linings PlaybookHDVUDU
Sing (Split)HDMovies Anywhere
The Single Moms ClubHDVUDU
SinisterHDVUDU
Skin TradeHDVUDU
SkiptraceSDVUDU
SkyfallHDVUDU
Sleeping Beauty (Split)HDGoogle Play
Sleeping Beauty* (Split)HDiTunes
Snatched4KiTunes
SnitchHDVUDU
Snow White and The Huntsman "Extended Edition" (Split)HDMovies Anywhere
Snow White and The Huntsman "Extended Edition"* (Split)4KiTunes
Snow White And The Seven Dwarfs* (Split)HDiTunes
Snow White And The Seven Dwarfs (Split)HDGoogle Play
Son of GodHDMovies Anywhere
Spare Parts (2015)SDVUDU
SparkleSDMovies Anywhere
The Spectacular NowSDVUDU
SpectreHDVUDU
Spider-Man 3 (2007)HDMovies Anywhere
The SpiritSDiTunes
The Spongebob Movie: Sponge Out Of Water (Split)HDVUDU
The Spongebob Movie: Sponge Out Of Water (Split)HDiTunes
Spy (Unrated)HDMovies Anywhere
Stand Up GuysHDVUDU
Star Trek [2009] (Split)4KiTunes
Star Trek: Into Darkness (Split)4KiTunes
Star Wars: The Clone WarsSDiTunes
Star Wars: The Force Awakens (Split)HDGoogle Play
Star Wars: The Force Awakens* (Split)4KiTunes
Star Wars: The Last Jedi* (Split)4KiTunes
Star Wars: The Last Jedi (Split)HDGoogle Play
Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker* (Split)4KiTunes
Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker (Split)HDGoogle Play
Star Wars: Rogue One (Split)HDGoogle Play
Star Wars: Solo (Split)HDGoogle Play
Star Wars: Solo* (Split)4KiTunes
Still AliceSDMovies Anywhere
Storks (Split)HDMovies Anywhere
Storks* (Split)HDiTunes
Strawberry Shortcake: Dance Berry DanceHDMovies Anywhere
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Super 84KiTunes
Super Buddies (Split)HDGoogle Play
Supernatural: Season 14HDVUDU
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Taken*SDiTunes
Taken 2HDMovies Anywhere
Taken & Taken 2 Double FeatureSDMovies Anywhere
Ted (Split)HDMovies Anywhere
Ted* (Split)HDiTunes
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014)HDVUDU
"Tyler Perry's" TemptationHDVUDU
Terminator: Dark Fate (Split)4KiTunes
Terminator: Genisys (Split)HDVUDU
Terminator: Genisys (Split)4KiTunes
Terminator Salvation*SDiTunes
The Three Stooges Movie (2012)*SDiTunes
Thor*SDiTunes
Thor: Dark World (Split)HDGoogle Play
Thor: Love and Thunder (Split)HDGoogle Play
Thor: Ragnarok (Split)HDGoogle Play
Three Billboards Outside Ebbing,MissouriHDMovies Anywhere
Tinker Bell & The Legend of The Neverbeast* (Split)HDiTunes
Tinker Bell & The Legend of The Neverbeast (Split)HDGoogle Play
Titanic (1997)HDiTunes
Tower HeistHDiTunes
Toy Story (Split)HDGoogle Play
Toy Story 4 (Split)HDGoogle Play
Toy Story 4* (Split)4KiTunes
Transformers (Split)4KiTunes
Transformers: Age Of Extinction (Split)4KiTunes
Transformers: Age Of Extinction (Split)HDVUDU
Transformers: Dark Of The Moon (Split)4KiTunes
Transformers: Dark Of The Moon (Split)HDVUDU
Trolls [2016]HDMovies Anywhere
True Grit (2010)HDiTunes
TurboHDMovies Anywhere
Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 2HDVUDU
Under The Skin (A24)HDVUDU
Underworld: AwakeningHDMovies Anywhere
Underworld: AwakeningSDMovies Anywhere
VenomHDMovies Anywhere
The VowSDMovies Anywhere
Wakanda Forever (Split)HDGoogle Play
Walking With DinosaursHDMovies Anywhere
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Warm Bodies (Split)4KiTunes
WarriorSDiTunes
Water For Elephants*SDiTunes
We Bought a ZooHDMovies Anywhere
We're The MillersHDMovies Anywhere
What Men Want4KiTunes
What To Expect When You're ExpectingHDVUDU
White House DownSDMovies Anywhere
Why Him*4KiTunes
Willow (Split)HDGoogle Play
The Witch (A24)HDVUDU
The Wolf Of Wall Street (Split)HDVUDU
The Wolf Of Wall Street (Split)4KiTunes
The Wolverine (Unrated)HDMovies Anywhere
The Woman in BlackSDMovies Anywhere
Wonder Park (Split)4KiTunes
World War Z (Split)HDVUDU
World War Z (Split)HDiTunes
X-Men: First Class*SDiTunes
XXX: Return of Xander Cage (Split)4KiTunes
XXX: Return of Xander Cage (Split)HDVUDU
You, Me, & Dupree*HDiTunes
You're NextHDVUDU
Your Highness*HDiTunes
Zero Dark ThirtySDMovies Anywhere
​
​
Universal Rewards Pass (All Movies Below Available With Single Code, One Title Per Redeem)
9HDMovies Anywhere
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To Sir, With Love4KMovies Anywhere

Let's just jump right into it! Hopefully this helps some blind buying souls such as myself. Here are some reviews:
Afnan 9PM - JPG Ultra Male: Picked up a bottle at Amazon for $35USD at the suggestion of one of the users in one of my previous threads. Typical paper cardboard housing with Afnan branding. But we're here for the juice anyways. Basic design but... premium feeling. Nice weight, the atomizer cap is also premium. Good strong spray that outputs a cloud of mist, very good atomizer. First spray you're hit with a citrus and lavender scent, fairly fruity, but this almost immediately leaves and is replaced by a very warm scent which I would describe as a spicy amber. This sticks around but only as an undertone to the extreme vanilla. It's not overpowering, but it's identifiable. Very nice. The first time I sprayed it, I immediately identified the JPG heritage in it, I have owned Le Male and that vanilla is identifiable anywhere. Highly recommend. 8/10. Would I wear it again: Yes Would I want to smell it on someone else: Yes Would I buy the full bottle: Have it
Ana Abiyedh Rouge - Baccarat Rouge 540: If this is an accurate BR540 clone, I can confidently say the scent is very mid. Leans heavily on wood and amber, gives CK Obsession vibes oddly. I wear this because others are in love with it. Have gotten raving compliments. But I also rarely wear it alone, layering it with CDNIM. Great performance, lasting many hours projecting, and when it becomes a skin scent it's there until you wash your clothes I swear. Edit: I got a BR540 authentic decant, it's VERY similar. Like REALLY similar. The price difference on the two is nuts. 6/10. Would I wear it again: Reluctantly Would I want to smell it on someone else: Not really Would I buy the full bottle: Have it
Armaf Odyssey Homme - Dior Homme Intense/Valentino Uomo Intense: Almost tobacco spicy like smell on first spray, then settles into a vanilla amber. Lots and lots of amber and vanilla with this one. Good winter fragrance. Affordable price. Average projection and performance of 4-5 hours max. Not really for me honestly, it doesn't stand out. 6/10. Would I wear it again: Meh Would I want to smell it on someone else: Not really Would I buy the full bottle: Have it
Belcam Shades of Blue - D&G Light Blue: A fantastic fresh fragrance, and for the price it's amazing. Definitely the best smelling Belcam cologne yet in my opinion - other than the shit performance. It's so bad guys. Spray and it's become a skin scent within 20 minutes max. Over spray like crazy for a slight chance at this sticking around. Fantastic as just a pillow spray/room scenter imo. 6.5/10, major dings for performance. Would I wear it again: Yes Would I want to smell it on someone else: Yes Would I buy the full bottle: Have it
Belcam Geau Black - ADG Profumo: Has a pepper musk added to the original Acqua Di Gio scent, and I'm not sure I like it. Mid performance, lasting perhaps an hour. Great price as always from Belcam. 5/10. Would I wear it again: Eh Would I want to smell it on someone else: Meh Would I buy the full bottle: Have it
Belcam Geau Original - ADG: When I picked this one up I had a bottle of the original ADG on hand, and upon spraying both on both arms, I found Belcams perfume actually lasted longer than the OG. It is more linear than ADG, but after letting my dad (who's worn ADG for years) try to distinguish between the two after the dry down, he picked Belcams perfume as his choice for which more accurately represented what he thinks of when he sprays ADG! Very intriguing. Good price as always! 7.5/10. Would I wear it again: Yes Would I want to smell it on someone else: Yes Would I buy the full bottle: Have it
Belcam Classic Match - Drakkar Noir: This is obviously intended to be a clone of Drakkar Noir. I have a bottle on hand, so I was able to compare the two. Personally I find the original Drakkar to be midtier at best in terms of performance and general smell, but I digress. Spraying both on me, the initial scent and the dry down both had Classic Match as a dead ringer for Drakkar! There was a bit of a pine undertone that perhaps was not quite right, but very easy to miss. Oddly, when I let my brother and father try out distinguishing the two in the initial spray, they both disagreed with me that one smelled vastly different from the other. It's possible their sniffers were off as we had been at new perfume testing for a while by that point. I have to disagree with them, it's a really good clone. 7/10. Would I wear it again: Yes Would I want to smell it on someone else: Yes Would I buy the full bottle: Have it
Belcam Geau Blue - ADG Profondo: This one from Belcam takes all the notes of ADG that we love and gives it a...well...blue smell! It smells fresher, more vibrant than the original ADG. I have gotten many compliments on this one. Again though, it doesn't last for too long. Maybe an hour to an hour and a half max. Great price! A strong clone of ADG Profondo. 8/10. Would I wear it again: Yes Would I want to smell it on someone else: Yes Would I buy the full bottle: Have it
Belcam Volatile - Viktor and Rolf Spicebomb: This thing succeeds in being a spicebomb-esque clone. It is incredibly spicy, and called volatile for a reason. That being said, it's a lovely fragrance, for a super affordable price, you can't go wrong with this one. Lasting an hour or so before becoming skin scent, it's one of my favorites from this house. 7.5/10. Would I wear it again: Yes Would I want to smell it on someone else: Yes Would I buy the full bottle: Have it
Club de Nuit Sillage - Creed Silver Mountain Water: So intriguing. I've never seen someone capture the smells of both metallic twang and freshwater nature green in the same scent. A good price, from a good house, and well worth a try. 7.5/10. Would I wear it again: Yes Would I want to smell it on someone else: Yes Would I buy the full bottle: Have it
Creed Virgin Island water: Opens very tropical, lemony with a coconut oil background, it's not as straight coconut as I expected, and has a much appreciated twist of citrus. It quickly dies down into a lemony coconut. I can still faintly smell this on myself as a skin scent like 12 hours later. Not bad. Pretty good as a summer fragrance. Gives me "out of the shower" lotion vibes. 7/10. Would I wear it again: Yes Would I want to smell it on someone else: Yes Would I buy the full bottle: Time will tell...
Dolce and Gabbana Light Blue: Didn't realize the original light blue wasn't unisex lol so I ended up trying the women's version. It opens with a ton of citrus, lemon, and then it gave me lemondrops, it kind of got more candy like. After a few minutes on it's settled into a solid lemon citrus where I expect it to remain. 6/10 Would I wear it again: No Would I want to smell it on someone else: Yes Would I buy the full bottle: Not for me. Too linear and citrus sweet.
English Laundry's Tahitian Waters: Picked this up for $4 at Marshall's on discount, an absolute steal I could not pass up. It has a bottle that captivates me for some reason, chrome at some angles, nearly see through at others. It has a faint alcohol smell to it, but it's not a big deal. I definitely get citrus, and some have described the dry down as musk with baked cookies. Overall very tropical, and super refreshing! It's downfall is weak performance, gone within the hour almost. Fairly strong sillage, many people being able to smell it on me after application from a few feet away! Likeable, and a nice summer frag. 7.5/10. Would I wear it again: Yes Would I want to smell it on someone else: Yes Would I buy the full bottle: Have it! If you can get it on the cheap, it's a nice addition to any lineup.
Guerlain Angelique Noir: On first spray you're hit with the most pleasant authentic vanilla bean you've ever smelled. There's a bit of a woody musk background, but this leaves in around an hour for me where only pure sweet vanilla remains. It's a very premium, rich, seductive scent of intense vanilla. 7.5/10 Would I wear it again: Yes Would I want to smell it on someone else: Yes Would I buy the full bottle: No. It's way overpriced for what it is. It's good, but not THAT good. I don't think I'll look beyond my little sample for this one.
Hermes H24: A very woody/green fragrance, it's herbal at it's...almost finest? It smells like boiled peanuts up close to me, not in a bad way necessarily, but also not in a good way. This may be due to the floral notes similar to that of peanut oil or something. Either way, it's a decent pick for the price, projection is just ok, lasted on me for 4 hours before becoming skin scent.... nothing too special, but it smells different which is always nice. Just didn't wow me. 6.5/10. Would I wear it again: Eh. Yeah I guess. Would I want to smell it on someone else: Not really, it's not bad I just wouldn't seek it out. Would I buy the full bottle: Probably not. It's just not for me.
Kilian Angel's Share: I'm in love. This is what love is. I thought I loved cooking. I thought I loved puppies. I thought I loved my parents. No. I love Kilian Angel's Share. This is my top fall fragrance, #1 for clubbing, #1 for evocativeness, #1 for NOSTALGIA. This has personal meaning for me, but when I was younger, sometimes my parents would make desserts for us, and one of my favorites was apple pie. They made it with cinnamon and the most delicious syrupy sweet apples and perfectly crisp crust. This fragrance takes me back to those times. Some insist there is no apple note and that what I'm smelling is just the cinnamon, perhaps this is true, but I die on the hill that this fragrance smells exactly like vanilla, cognac, and homemade cinnamon apple pie :) Its expensive, but in my opinion, you can't put a price on memories and emotions, and that's what this fragrance brings to me. I recently got a good deal on a full bottle, thank you to the user that helped me go back to when I was 8 years old with just a single spray. 9/10, price is a hold up if you're looking at retail. Would I wear it again: Always Would I want to smell it on someone else: I would pass away or propose on the spot Would I buy the full bottle: Never discontinue this Kilian.
Lattafa Asad - Dior Sauvage Elixir: I hate the original sauvage. It offends my nose in so many ways, and I'm not a fan. This however, as a clone of elixir, with it's stronger emphasis on spice and "christmastime" succeeds in taking the little that is good from the original Sauvage and makes it delicious. A very good winter fragrance, at a very good price, with decent performance of 3-4 hours. 8/10. Would I wear it again: Yes Would I want to smell it on someone else: Yes Would I buy the full bottle: Have it
Lattafa Fakhar - YSL Y: I've never owned YSL Y, so I can't vouch for it's accuracy, but I love this one so much. It's such a good fresh scent to spray on, I've gotten many compliments on it, it's price is great, it has good projection, pretty sweet though so if that's not your thing...The performance is nothing to write home about, lasting 3.5 hours max. Blind buy safe for sure. Edit: Everyone claims this is a YSL Y clone, but I got a sample of Valentino Uomo Born in Roma and the two smell very similar. Please let me know if anyone else has experienced this. 7/10. Would I wear it again: Yes Would I want to smell it on someone else: Yes Would I buy the full bottle: Have it
Lattafa Khamrah - Kilian Angels Share: My first boozy cologne, and a blind buy, I was a little worried. I've heard this takes ideas from Angel's Share but perhaps leans towards its own scent profile. Either way, I like Khamrah. It gives a lot of clubbing vibes, and it is a very thick scent, so I'm careful how I spray this one. Great performance, average pricing, interesting packaging. A good cologne to round out your scent profiles in your collection if you are yet to partake in a boozy one. Very sweet. Fragrantica describes it's notes as boozy/balsamic, and I agree. Edit: Got an Angel's Share sample, the two are not particularly alike. The boozy apple smell is very prominent in Angels Share, and I almost smell alcoholic apple pie. I prefer Angels Share in terms of just scent profile. 7/10. Would I wear it again: Yes Would I want to smell it on someone else: Yes Would I buy the full bottle: Have it
Maison Alhambra Bright Peach - TF Bitter Peach: Assaults my nose. I used to hate this fragrance, after using it a couple times, I now just dislike it. Both parents and siblings disliked. Woman friend disliked. It's just too sickly thick in my opinion. Maybe I need more time. 4/10. Edit, I've now worn it a few more times, it's been a week, and I even voluntarily reached for it today. I still found it very cloying, but after about an hour it calmed down and even netted a compliment from a friend! 6/10. Second edit: I got an authentic sample of Bitter peach, the two are close (maybe 80% similar) but the Alhambra is much less light and much more cloying 6.5/10. Would I wear it again: It keeps getting better so yes. Would I want to smell it on someone else: Yes Would I buy the full bottle: Have it
Maison Alhambra Kismet Angel: Starts off like 85% angels share, it lacks the boozy note that fills the air on first spray. However in the dry down it becomes more like 93% similarities, as the cinnamon intensifies just like AS. Projection is good, about equivalent performance with Angels Share. An hour later I'm amending that, worse performance than AS, it's not quite as potent. Can definitely over spray a bit on this one, I went for three sprays, two wrist one neck. For its lifetime on me it remained as an "Almost Angel's Share". I would buy this. 8.5/10 Would I wear it again: Yes Would I want to smell it on someone else: Yes Would I buy the full bottle: Yes
Maison Alhambra Rose Petals - TF Rose Prick: Bought this for mother. It's definitely rose, and definitely floral. It has powdery notes, and does have some amber going on. I think it's a good scent, just not for either of us when we tried it on. Would like it on an SO. 6/10, pretty linear. Would I wear it again: No Would I want to smell it on someone else: Yes Would I buy the full bottle: Have it
Maison Alhambra Toscano Leather - TF Tuscan Leather: Disclosure I've never smelled the original. This is probably the most I've seen people split on a fragrance. Every guy I've spoken to loves this, it feels very masculine with notes of leather, oil, and tobacco/cigarettes. Every woman I've spoken to hated it. I'm big on this one, I love the smell of leather and this captures it perfectly. Performance is pretty good, lasting about 4-5 hours before fading to a lasting skin scent. 7.5/10. Would I wear it again: Yes Would I want to smell it on someone else: Yes Would I buy the full bottle: Have it
Maison Margiela Replica Coffee Break: I've so far owned two official samples and one traveler of this stuff, and it's one of my favorites from the Replica series. It has a vanilla latte thing going on. Definitely coffee in the opener, and becomes that vanilla latte maybe 50 minutes to an hour after the initial spray on. Very strong performer! 6 hours later I can still smell it easily as a skin scent, for around 3 hours I could easily smell it in the air around me. Garnered two compliments in the same day, truly a lovely scent. Fall leaning I would say, it's fairly sweet. 7.8/10. Would I wear it again: Yes Would I want to smell it on someone else: Yes Would I buy the full bottle: Yes...once I work my way through all that I have currently I probably will.
Maison Margiela Replica Matcha Meditation: Opening thoughts - This fragrance makes me feel something. It's not the best smelling ever, but man I feel good wearing it. It's floral, I get green tea, matcha, and mochi with chocolate or vanilla ice cream. It feels light to me, and airy upon first spray. I don't anticipate this as a scent that will garner lots of compliments, but I am happy wearing this. 30 minutes later thoughts - Scent has calmed down a bit, for a moment it was fairly strong, now it is much more linear, I'm getting mainly vanilla, with some very green herbal background. 1-2 hours - scent has begun fading to a skin scent, still vanilla and herbal. 7/10. Would I wear it again: Yes Would I want to smell it on someone else: Yes Would I buy the full bottle: Maybe
Memo French Leather: Opens floral with a very subtle leather undertone. Immediately in the dry down I begin to get more of a premium leather smell. Leather and rose, but the rose is more dominant and primary than the leather in this one. Matures nicely, and last around 8 hours on me. 7.5/10. Would I wear it again: Yes Would I want to smell it on someone else: Yes Would I buy the full bottle: Maybe
Nautica Voyage: No perfume has ever given me such instant gratification in the summertime as Voyage. It beats ADG Original and Profondo/Profumo soundly in my opinion. I get tons of melon in the opening, and it remains fairly linear. For a reliable, dependable, affordable (very) fragrance, this is a winner in my book, I've even used it as a pillow spray. It lasted a few hours before I had to reapply, but again it's so cheap it's no big deal. I get compliments every time I wear it. It's very versatile and my favorite application time is right out of a hot shower. 9/10. Best time to wear: Spring/Summer Would I wear it again: Yes Would I want to smell it on someone else: Yes Would I buy the full bottle: Already did. Yes. All day long.
PDM Layton: Feels like a cross between 85% JPG and 15% Spicebomb. Is a very nice warm vanilla with some woody spice going on in the background. I didn't feel it was worth the hype, but I wore it during the summer, so wintertime I may feel different. Had pretty good performance! I could smell it on me easily for a couple hours after I had applied just in the air, it only lasted about 5 hours before fading to a skin scent for me with around 3.5 sprays. 7/10, because it didn't stand out to me for the pricetag it's associated with. Would I wear it again: Yes Would I want to smell it on someone else: Yes Would I buy the full bottle: Probably not. There's no shortage of good winter frags out there, I just don't think I would reach for this enough for the money.
Tom Ford Lost Cherry: Boozy cherries with...almond I think? Feels more feminine leaning, but also I don't care because this one ranks high for me on my list. It smells VERY intoxicating, and the cherry is unique, with the booziness adding a hint of seductiveness. Fairly linear scent that lasted maybe a few hours on me, nothing special there, but the notes are to die for. A very good one for layering as well! I'm a fan of this one from Mr. Ford, with points off for performance and price point issues - 8/10. Would I wear it again: Yes Would I want to smell it on someone else: Yes Would I buy the full bottle: If my wallet permits, at least a partial.
Tom Ford Soleil Neige: Makes me feel warm and fresh. A little powder, a little floral. Dry down gives me tons of floral vanilla. Unisex but in my opinion leans more feminine. Has netted a few compliments. 8/10 Best time to wear: Spring/Summer Would I wear it again: Yes Would I want to smell it on someone else: Yes Would I buy the full bottle: Maybe
Qaed Al Fursan: Pineapple for sure, smells very appealing, synthetic and powdery when smelled very close for first few seconds after spray. Does not last long at all. Maybe like an hour max. Over spray for sure. Magnetic cap is a nice touch! Price is competitive to say the least. A very nice mixer to CDNIM EDP. 6/10. Update: I am bumping the rating of this cologne to 7. After letting it macerate, the performance improved about an hour, the scent became less synthetic in the dry down, and the powdery bit was less pronounced. People in my family have RAVED about the smell of this one. I went into this thinking it was somehow an Aventus clone or something, and I wasn't letting it just be its own thing. As a fruity pineapple that I find to be absolutely seductive, I can't recommend this one enough. However, it's scent profile is very linear, so keep that in mind, but you can always be confident in how consistent it is. 8/10. Would I wear it again: Yes Would I want to smell it on someone else: Yes Would I buy the full bottle: Have it

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2023/jun/06/lgbtq-rights-trans-gay-texas-florida-north-carolina?utm_term=Autofeed&CMP=twt_gu&utm_medium&utm_source=Twitter#Echobox=1686061144
‘Do we need to flee the United States?’
In Maryland, Camille Rey’s son’s health has improved, while in Oregon, one year on from their move, Karen says her family is much happier. She has noticed a trend, though, among her new blue state neighbors, of talking about anti-LGBTQ+ laws as an “over there” problem.
The reality is that anti-LGBTQ+ sentiment is not limited geographically. Pride parades continue to be attacked. Shootings like that in Colorado Springs show that LGBTQ+ lives are at risk everywhere. Factions of the Republican party are pushing for a national “don’t say gay” bill. In the wake of Ron DeSantis’s 2024 presidential run announcement, campaigners worry that even blue states may not provide safety or shelter for queer people for long.
“The 14th amendment has been gutted with the overtaking of Roe v Wade. If the 14th amendment goes, our right to marriage and our freedom from sodomy laws, all that could go on a national level,” says McCranie. “So if we flee the state, but our rights go on a national level, the question becomes: do we need to flee the United States? I’m asking people I know: do you have a parent or grandparent from another country? You should go get that passport now.”
Mitchell and her wife are aiming to move to Minnesota due to its proximity to Canada, just in case. (Justin Trudeau has shown support for trans communities.) Rodriguez explains that she chose to leave the country, rather than Texas, so that she only has to move once. “My fear with the safe states is, what if the US passes federal anti-LGBTQ+ laws?” she says. “I had one house to sell, I had to do it to fund to go anywhere, so I should go where I don’t have to worry about what happens at the next election.”

Company Name	Title	City
United States Secret Service	Criminal Investigator	Fort Myers
United States Secret Service	Criminal Investigator	Jacksonville
United States Secret Service	Criminal Investigator	Miami
Aveanna Healthcare	LPN Private Duty Nurse - Day & Night Shifts	Alachua
FRESENIUS	Facility Social Worker	Altamonte Springs
FRESENIUS	Manager Social Work Svcs	Altamonte Springs
L3Harris Technologies	Senior Associate, Electrical Engineering	Anna Maria
Mutual of Omaha	Sales Agent	Apollo Beach
Mutual of Omaha	Sales Representative	Apollo Beach
Aveanna Healthcare	Aveanna Healthcare Private Duty Nurse LPN	Boca Raton
Aveanna Healthcare	Private Duty Nurse	Boca Raton
Aveanna Healthcare	LPN Private Duty Nurse - Boca Raton Area	Boca Raton
Aveanna Healthcare	Private Duty Nurse LPN - Nights Only	Bonita Springs
Aveanna Healthcare	Aveanna Healthcare Private Duty Nurse RN	Bonita Springs
Aveanna Healthcare	Private Duty Nurse RN - Nights Only	Bonita Springs
HCA Florida Blake Hospital	Registered Nurse Med Surg	Bradenton
American Family Dental	Dental Hygienist	Bradenton
Smiles at Lakewood Ranch	Hygiene Assistant	Bradenton
HCA Florida Oak Hill Hospital	Registered Nurse (RN)	Brooksville
HCA Florida Oak Hill Hospital	RN	Brooksville
Aveanna Healthcare	Private Nurse	Cape Coral
Aveanna Healthcare	Aveanna Healthcare Private Duty Nurse RN	Cape Coral
Aveanna Healthcare	Private Duty Nurse	Cape Coral
Avis Budget Group	Customer Service Representative	Clearwater
L3Harris Technologies	Senior Associate, Electrical Engineering	Clearwater

Hey guys, here are some recent job openings in fl. Feel free to comment here or send me a private message if you have any questions, I'm at the community's disposal! If you encounter any problems with any of these job openings please let me know that I will modify the table accordingly. Thanks!

Company Name	Title	City
United States Secret Service	Criminal Investigator	Baltimore
Capital One	Senior Platform Engineer (Workday Specialist)	Annapolis
Asplundh Tree Expert, LLC	Boomtruck Driver	Frederick
Morgan-Keller Construction	Estimator - Frederick, MD	Frederick
Capital One	Penetration Tester, Principal Associate	Fruitland
Dentistry at Hagerstown	Dental Hygienist	Hagerstown
CVS Pharmacy, Inc.	Shop Hand	Millersville
CVS Pharmacy, Inc.	Store Worker	Millersville
CVS Pharmacy, Inc.	Store Associate	Millersville
Five Guys	Restaurant Manager	Odenton
Five Guys	Shift Lead - Starting at 18.00	Odenton
Five Guys	Diner Manager	Odenton
Cincinnati Insurance Company, Inc.	Auditor - Accounting	Owings Mills
Cincinnati Insurance Company, Inc.	Sr. Auditor	Owings Mills
Erickson Senior Living	Healthcare Marketing Associate	Parkville
Capital One	Senior Software Engineer, Full Stack (Hybrid)	Salisbury
Capital One	Principal Associate, Regulatory Compliance Governance Specialist	Salisbury
Capital One	Senior Software Engineer, Back End (Golang)	Salisbury
Erickson Senior Living	Executive Chef	Silver Spring
TheKey	Licensed Practical Nurse (LPN)	Annapolis
BOEING	Experienced Analog Mixed-Signal Layout Design Engineer	Annapolis Junction
TheKey	Certified Nursing Assistant/Geriatric Nursing Assistant (Cna/Gna)	Anne Arundel County
Proud Moments	Part-Time Board Certified Behavior Analysts (BCBA)	Baltimore
BayMark Health Services	Part Time Dispensing Nurse - LPN	Belcamp
BOEING	Experienced Analog Mixed-Signal Layout Design Engineer	Bethesda

Hey guys, here are some recent job openings in md. Feel free to comment here or send me a private message if you have any questions, I'm at the community's disposal! If you encounter any problems with any of these job openings please let me know that I will modify the table accordingly. Thanks!

Company Name	Title	City
United States Secret Service	Criminal Investigator	Tulsa
Hillcrest Hospital Claremore	CT Technician	Claremore
Hillcrest Hospital Claremore	Monitor Tech	Claremore
Hillcrest Hospital Claremore	CT Technologist	Claremore
UnitedHealth Group	Part-Time Patient Access Representative (SSM) - El Reno, OK	El Reno
Aveanna Healthcare	Aveanna Healthcare Private Duty Nurse LPN Sign On Bonus	Grove
Aveanna Healthcare	Aveanna Healthcare Private Duty Nurse LPN Sign On Bonus	Mannford
My Dentist	Dental Hygienist	Muskogee
Quail Springs Dental Care	Dental Hygienist	Norman
Aveanna Healthcare	Aveanna Healthcare Private Duty Nurse RN	Norman
Aveanna Healthcare	Aveanna Healthcare Private Duty Nurse RN	Oklahoma City
Hillcrest Hospital Claremore	CT Tech	Owasso
Aveanna Healthcare	Private Duty Nurse LPN Sign On Bonus -- PRN	Ponca City
Hillcrest Hospital Pryor	MRI Tech	Pryor
Hillcrest Hospital Pryor	Ultrasound Tech	Pryor
Dental Care of Sapulpa	Dental Hygienist	Sapulpa
UnitedHealth Group	Patient Access Representative - Shawnee, OK	Shawnee
Hillcrest Hospital South	Patient Care Technician (PCT)	Tulsa
Aveanna Healthcare	Private Duty Nurse LPN Sign On Bonus -- Weekend Shifts	Wellston
Jackson Nurse Professionals	Travel Nurse	Woodward
Jackson Nurse Professionals	Travel RN	Woodward
Family Dentistry of Yukon	Dental Hygienist	Yukon
Legrand North America	Account Manager	Edmond
Medical Resource Group, Inc.	Nurse Practitioner or Physician Assistant - Oklahoma	Lawton
Legrand North America	Sales Representative	Oklahoma City

Hey guys, here are some recent job openings , feel free to comment here if you have any questions, I'm at the community's disposal! If you encounter any problems with any of these job openings please let me know that I will modify the table accordingly. Thanks!

Companion care services have served older adults for many years and have significantly reduced the risk of dementia. But finding the right caregiver to offer companion care services in Silver Spring, Maryland is an overwhelming task for the families and loved ones. There are ample ways to find the right caregiver once you know the kind of companion care services your loved one needs. Read here to learn more about how companion care services can help your loved one.

July 8th Excerpt from the Diary of Heaven White
‘Though I walk in the midst of trouble, you preserve my life; you stretch out your hand against the wrath of my enemies, with your right hand you save me.’
Psalms 138:7
​
Onu’s instructions were clear. I recognize that, and I am fully aware that it is not wise to defy his wishes.
​
But there are things he is not telling me. Things that weigh on his mind at all hours of the day. I see it in his eyes. I hear it in his voice. I had initially suspected that the damage caused by Casey LaBeouf’s betrayal had left him more disorganized and scattered than he let on. But no.
​
I’m not so sure that is the case, anymore.
​
Onu’s instructions were clear. I was to stay out of Family affairs. But in the end, I truly could not help myself. The blood of my family runs through my veins. Their affairs are my affairs. Perhaps in Onu’s eyes, I will need to earn my status, but that does not bother me. In fact for now, it might well be an asset.
​
Unbound by the constraints of the Family, I am free to operate without Onu’s direct oversight. He may not approve, but he can not stop me.
​
I knew he’d be out of town tonight. On what business, I wasn’t sure. But his absence was my opportunity. The man he had assigned as my escort - a gentleman by the name of Doug Coleridge, was attentive but still very much human. When I told him I was going to bed, it did not take long before he did the same.
​
I lay awake and waiting, listening as he got settled in the guest bedroom beside mine, and waited until I knew he was asleep. Then, after about thirty minutes, I left my room to begin my research.
​
Onu’s office was left unlocked. I closed the door behind me as I entered. Then, just like before, I began searching through his desk. This time, I was thorough. Most of the documents he kept there were focused on some of the cases he’d taken on. I couldn’t help but notice how many had popped up since LaBeouf had defected. It struck me just how thinly he was spread. I left those folders alone after skimming through them. It was nothing for me to tamper with.
I left that drawer as I found it, before going through another. The documents there seemed to be more personal. There was a handgun, which I carefully set aside, some trinkets, pens and old newspaper articles.
​
Now those seemed very out of place. I skimmed through them and found no mention of LaBeouf. Most of them detailed an event from several years back. The murder of the Stone family. I couldn’t see why Onu would even care, until I saw the photograph of a woman.
​
Diana Stone was the name under it, and the woman was identical to the girl in the picture on Onu’s desk. At last I could put a name to the face. I glanced up at the picture of the woman, comparing the two before deciding they were the same person. I paused, studying her for a few moments longer. Her eyes were terribly familiar. The same burning amber as the eyes of the Girl who’d pushed my Father. For a moment, I caught myself wondering if they were one and the same, and skimmed through the story. The only useful data it provided, was that Diana Stone had died twenty years ago. A relative, perhaps? I’d need to look into it. But now was not the time. I returned everything to its proper place, and continued my search. Finally it bore some fruit.
​
The files on LaBeouf were plentiful, although disorganized and difficult to decipher. Most of it was from before his betrayal, and I sorted it into a little pile while I read through the newer material. There was very little on him currently, Onu’s notes and scribbles were vague as usual, although they often needed to be. He couldn’t afford to leave his secrets out in the open. I’d need to check the things he didn’t write down.
I looked over at his computer. What I was thinking was a brave move, and not without its risks. I’d not only need to be smart, but careful. A shake of the mouse brought up his login screen that requested a password. There was no hint given, either you knew it, or you did not. I admittedly did not know it.
​
I glanced at the framed picture of Diana Stone. It was a wild guess, perhaps guessing was a mistake, but it was all that I had to go off of. Aside from her possible connection to my Father’s killer (a connection that was only a half baked theory, at best) she was nobody special. She wasn’t part of the Family. The article I’d read had stated she was a dancer, and I doubted Onu had enough affinity for dance to idolize a dead small time ballerina. No… she was special to him, for some reason. Perhaps special enough to guard his secrets. I typed, ‘Diana’ into the box. His computer opened up to me, and from there, it was trivial to open his email. It’s so convenient how computers save passwords, isn’t it?
​
From there, it didn’t take long to find some more useful information.
It seemed that I’d underestimated Onu. He’d kept his eyes all too closely trained on LaBeouf’s brother. There were copies of emails that he’d sent, and a few barely useful status updates that one of his shadows had sent him.
​
The would-be senator hadn’t contacted his brother directly to their knowledge, and Casey’s disappearance had been marked by the disappearance of another man involved in LaBeouf’s defection. This man’s name was Steven Love. A police detective and it wasn’t exactly difficult to determine that their disappearances were likely connected. I found little on him aside from a file attached to an email. There was no concrete evidence tying him to LaBeouf, other than the two men had seemingly left town at the same time, and Love had more or less dropped off the face of the earth since then. He unfortunately seemed to be another dead end. The name only came up once in another email, that suggested he was the one to whom Casey had spoken to. Aside from that, no picture, no address, nothing. Frustrating, but I kept digging. There was little else to find, but not quite nothing.
In one of the emails, from Kasting, there was a footnote that made me go back and look at Love’s files. He had a partner, a man by the name of Vincent Bennett. There were no files on him, but the footnote read as follows.
​
Terry spoke with Bennett, about a week before he went dark. Lexi followed up on it. Can’t find any connection. Bennett says he’d stopped working with Love before he disappeared and he’d heard of LaBeouf, but didn’t work on the case. We’ll keep an eye on him, but I don’t think he’s behind what happened.
​
Kasting seemed to think that this Bennett man was a dead end… but I made a note of the name anyways. Perhaps if Kasting couldn’t get the Detective to talk (assuming he even knew anything at all), I could. I wasn’t sure how… but I was sure I’d think of something.
​
Intrigued, I skimmed a little further until I found another email from one of Onu’s other shadows.
​
I looked into that weird address that was contacting Matt. Far as I can tell, it’s legit. Maybe he just likes Japanese cartoons? TMFI.
-Lexi
​
How bizarre. I looked a little further until I found another reference to the address that had been contacting Matthew LaBeouf. It was a copy of one of the emails that had been sent to him.
​
Hi Matthew!
Thank you again for your recent purchase from Ultimate Waifu! Your new handmade Dakimakura cover has been safely shipped and you should expect it within the next few days. We hope you enjoy this adorable cuddlemuffin! Don’t be too rough with her! She’s delicate!
Please feel free to contact us if there are any concerns or questions and please leave a customer review if you are satisfied with our service!
-Sammy
​
The image was signed with a little pixel art image of a character with short blue hair. I reread the email a few times, before finally finding a copy of the email one of his Shadows had sent the same address.
​
Hi Alexis!
We’re sorry to say that the item you’re looking for is currently out of stock! But if you really, really, reeeeeally want it, we can totally contact you when it comes in again! We’d really hate to deprive anyone of a sweet kawaii cuddlemuffin to keep them warm at night! In the meanwhile, please feel free to browse our quality selection of stain resistant, machine washable, Dakimakura!
-Sammy
​
The same little cartoon character was there by the signature, and I closed out of the emails. I couldn’t make heads or tails of them, so for now, I decided to leave it alone. I moved on to see what else I could find, before a voice in the darkness interrupted me.
​
“Y’know this is the exact thing I’m supposed to stop you from doing.”
​
I looked up, to see a shadow in the door of the office. The light came on, and I was greeted by the sleepy, but sternly disapproving face of Doug Coleridge. He was a tall, broad shouldered man in his early forties with thick hair that was just starting to gray and intense brown eyes.
“What’s the harm in curiosity?” I asked.
“You ever heard that old saying ‘Curiosity killed the cat?’” He asked, his voice still heavy with sleep.
“Well then I’d have plenty to fear if I were a cat, wouldn’t I?”
​
He sighed, and approached me to turn off Onu’s screen. “Don’t be a smartass, Heaven,” He said. “Your Uncle told me to keep you out of this stuff for a reason. So do me a solid, and don’t get us both in trouble.”
“I’m just reexamining what he already knows.” I said, “Technically I haven’t done anything yet!”
“What did I just say about being smart with me? Leave the LaBeouf thing alone. It’s none of your business.”
​
“He betrayed the Family. Of course it’s my business.” I replied, “If I want Onu to take me seriously, then I need to contribute. Simple as that.”
“A lot of things I’d have figured you for, kid. But a glory hound wasn’t one of them” He said, “They’re never gonna to catch LaBeouf, you know that, right?”
​
“Never is a harsh word. I’m not doing it for repute. If Onu won’t give me an opportunity to contribute, I’ll make my own.”
“Yeah, great idea. I’m sure it won’t blow up horribly in your face,” Coleridge said dryly. “Let me know how you plan on doing that.”
“Well, I could use the help… if you were interested,” I offered.
​
Coleridge raised an eyebrow at me before scoffing.
“Last time I checked, I worked for Robert, not for you.”
“Oh come now! Say we did find him, it’d look good on both of us!” I said.
“I’d also be crossing one of the most powerful men in the city.” Coleridge pointed out, as if expecting me to have some sort of answer for that.
“We’d be doing him a favor.” I noted.
“Yeah, I don’t think he’ll see it that way when you get caught,” Coleridge said before sighing. “Look, I admire your dedication, I do. But like I said before, there’s a damn good reason Robert doesn’t want you involved in this.”
​
“Is there?” I asked, “Because I don’t see it! Do you?”
Coleridge was silent for a moment, staring intently at me. Then, finally he sighed.
“Go get dressed,” He said, before turning to leave.
“Why?”
“Because you and me are going for a drive.”
​
“To where?” I asked, feeling a slight pang of concern in my chest as I followed Coleridge out into the hall.
“You wanna know why your Uncle doesn’t want you involved in this? I’m gonna show it to you,” Coleridge said matter of factly.
I watched as he disappeared back into his bedroom, before quietly going to mine to find some clean clothes.
​
***
​
Coleridge and I drove in relative silence through the night. He didn’t tell me where we were going, even when I asked and were I a more paranoid woman, I might have worried that he had some kind of ill intent.
​
I’m not sure if I should have been surprised or not when he brought me to a hospital.
“Is this some sort of underhanded threat?” I asked, as he pulled into the underground parking lot.
“That’s not what I’d call this, no.” He replied as he pulled into a spot. He got out of the car and I followed.
​
“I don’t know how much you know about your Uncle’s reputation, but Robert isn’t the kind of man you double cross,” He said as he headed for the elevator. “If you ask me, Casey had some real balls, doing what he did.”
“And yet Onu still hasn’t found him,” I noted.
“Trust me, he’s been looking,” Coleridge said. I followed him into the elevator and he hit a button, taking us up to the 6th floor.
“So I’ve seen. And it would appear that all he’s uncovered are anime body pillows. That’s hardly progress, if you ask me.”
​
Coleridge chuckled.
“Saw those emails, did you?” He asked. “But no… use your brain, kiddo. You really think your Uncle is going to keep the juicy stuff in his emails?”
​
He might have had a point there. The elevator doors opened and Coleridge stepped out. I followed him. He led me through the pale linoleum halls of the hospital, although to where, I really wasn’t sure.
“After LaBeouf skipped town, Robert sent the usual guy he hires for this kind of stuff after him. Travis Gordon. Can’t really say that he and I were ever friends, but I worked with him from time to time… long story short, he was one a ruthless son of a bitch.”
​
“If he was, you would have thought he’d have found LaBeouf by now, wouldn’t you?” I asked.
“Yeah, you would’ve. Heck, maybe he did find him… not like Travis would tell us.”
He led me down a short hall, before pausing in front of a door.
“Why not?” I asked, before noticing the name on the door.
​
Travis Gordon.
​
I looked back at Coleridge.
“If this is some sort of elaborate prank, Mr. Coleridge, than you can save your energy and-”
“You wanted to know why Robert doesn’t want you involved in this. I’m showing you,” Coleridge replied plainly. “You wanna know why he’s not putting more effort into chasing LaBeouf? Go through that door. See for yourself.”
​
I stared at the door again. Suddenly the world around me felt a little more present. The ground beneath my feet felt a little more real. I stared at the door, but I couldn’t open it. Coleridge stood beside me, watching me quietly. After a while, he just sighed.
​
“Let’s go,” He said, getting up to leave. “It’s probably best if you don’t tell Robert that I brought you here. I don’t think he’d-”
“What happened to him?” I asked.
Coleridge looked back at me.
“What happened to him?” I repeated. “He was injured, right? What happened to him?”
“I don’t know,” Coleridge replied plainly.
​
I looked back at the door. Coleridge stood waiting for me.
“Tell you what, I know a good diner just down the street. Best cheesecake in town. My treat. We’ll go home, forget about this whole thing and-”
​
I opened the door and stepped inside. Coleridge’s voice died in his throat.
The room I entered was dimly lit, but I could see the hospital bed and the figure lying on it. I could hear Coleridge’s footsteps behind me and looked back to see him standing in the doorway, his expression grim. He didn’t say a word to me.
​
Slowly, I approached the still body of Travis Gordon. I could hear the steady beep of a heart monitor and the rhythmic hiss of oxygen. In the dim light of the hospital, I could see that his eyes were open. I paused, thinking that he might have been awake. But his eyes weren’t focused on me. They just stared thoughtlessly up at the ceiling and it took me a moment to realize that the only reason they were open, was because he had no eyelids to close.
​
My stomach turned as the realization hit me, and as I stared at Travis Gordon’s face, each new mutilation became clear to me.
​
Someone had taken a knife to his face, cutting away flesh and letting it fester and scar. In some places, I could even see exposed bone. What was left of him barely even resembled a person anymore. He had no nose, no lips, no cheeks… his face had been almost completely butchered!
​
I clamped a hand to my mouth to keep myself from screaming and took a step back, right into Coleridge’s arms. He stared down at Travis Gordon with an expression that was somewhere between sorrow and disgust.
​
“What… what happened to him?” I asked.
“Last we heard from him, he was following up on a lead in Toronto. Then about three months later, they found him on a plane, looking like this… they needed to use his dental records to ID him.”
​
My stomach turned.
“They took his eyelids, his tongue and did that to his face… they cut his fingers off at the second knuckle and castrated him. His spine is broken. He’ll never walk again, and God only knows how many drugs they pumped into him… I guess the one small silver lining is that I don’t think he’s really in there anymore. Far as I’ve heard, he doesn’t know who he is, where he is or what happened to him. He’s just… gone.”
​
I saw Travis shift slightly and saw his eyes move toward me. My breath caught in my throat. Coleridge stared at him, but didn’t say a word. He just put a hand on my shoulder. Travis’s breathing grew heavier. I saw him try to open his mouth, but the only sound that came out was a dull, wet gurgling noise.
​
Coleridge pulled me toward the door, and I followed. I couldn’t look anymore. He closed the door behind him, and I heard him let out the breath he’d been holding the entire time.
“You wanna know why your Uncle doesn’t want you looking into LaBeouf? You wanna know why he asked me to keep an eye on you? That. That is why.”
​
I didn’t reply.
​
I couldn’t.
​
“Whoever did that to him… and I say ‘whoever’ because it sure as hell wasn’t LaBeouf, they could’ve killed him. Instead they sent him back here to us.”
“But why?” I asked, looking over at Coleridge.
“I figure it’s a message,” He replied. “Back off.”
​
He turned and headed down the hall again, back toward the elevator.
“Well… message received, loud and clear.”
“So whoever did that, they’re just going to get away with it?” I asked, “Onu’s not going after them?”
“Yeah, surprisingly he’s not sending anyone to look for the person who cuts peoples faces off and tortures them until they’re a gibbering mess. Can’t imagine why,” Coleridge said.
​
I stared back at the room, before quietly following him back to the elevator. We rode down in silence.
“Like I said before, it’s probably better if you don’t tell your Uncle I took you here,” He finally said, breaking the silence between us. “And it’s probably best if you drop this whole LaBeouf thing.”
​
The elevator doors opened and Bennett stepped out again, back into the parking garage.
“What about following up on some local leads?” I asked.
He paused, and though I couldn’t see his face, I knew he was rolling his eyes.
“You’re joking, right?” He asked, looking back at me.
​
I wasn’t. I was dead serious.
“If there’s nothing to find, what risk am I putting myself in?” I asked, “And if there is something to find, we can give it straight to Onu. You said that Travis had gone to Toronto, right? We won’t even be leaving town! And you’ll be with me the entire time!”
“Are you… are you actually serious right now?” Coleridge asked, “Did you not see what happened to the last guy who went poking around here!”
​
“Yes and clearly he was onto something!” I argued, “Whoever did that to him… they were trying to scare us, and clearly they’ve succeeded!”
“Yeah, cutting a guys face off tends to do that,” Coleridge scoffed. “And considering how your last assistant got hit by a train, I’m really not a fan of what this little investigation of yours might do to my life expectancy!”
​
“Things will be different this time!” I assured him, “You’re not my Father, you’re different, more experienced! I only want to follow up on one thing, at least help me with that!”
“No! That’s my final answer!” He said.
“Fine, then if you won’t help me I’ll do it myself! You may be assigned to keep an eye on me Mr. Coleridge, but unless you plan on physically restraining me, you can’t stop me!”
​
Coleridge opened his mouth to argue, before signing and rubbing his temples.
“For Christ’s sakes, woman!”
“You’re not supposed to take the Lord’s name in vain.”
​
He gave me an incredulous look, before finally giving in.
“Fine, fine… if it’ll get you to drop this, I’ll help… What is it?”
“I want to follow up on a lead. A man named Vincent Bennett. That’s all.”
​
Coleridge considered it for a moment before sighing.
“I’m gonna regret this, aren’t I? Alright, fine… I’ll help you with this, and then we’re done. Deal?”
He offered me a hand to shake, and I shook it.
“Deal.”

Read Chapter 1 Here
Previous Chapter Here
My other SSB story, Writing on the Wall, Here
I was sitting here in the dark, pantsless and writing (as you do), and I decided to check how far my progress was going on a few things. Turns out I was way past my "release a new chapter" threshold!
Enjoy the continued adventures of our favorite fuckups.
*****
“...about those sculptures. I know we told the Aboriginal Art Institute of Karnif that they could hold onto them for another two months, but apparently they are part of some shrine and the Governess of the South Pacific is getting on my case about returning them before a holy day.” Jem’si looked to his right, where his wife Torel was walking alongside him. She was his partner in more than just his marriage, and he was a little surprised to see that she didn’t have a pad out to take notes. “Are you paying attention?”
“Not really,” Torel replied. She had been strangely subdued, quiet all morning. On his left, his wife Keller tried to match pace. She was so much bigger than both of them that it was difficult, but she had a lot of practice and the halls of House Chel’xa’s ancestral home were a familiar place.
“Now.” Keller’s word was punctuated by her left arm shooting across her body to grab Jem’si by the upper arm. It was a firmer grip than Jem’si had ever felt from his wives, and for it to come from gentle Keller was doubly surprising. Before he could comment, Torel grabbed his other arm. The pair lifted and Jem’si found himself being dragged along, feet barely touching the floor.
“Put me down!” He tried to wiggle out of their grip, but neither woman seemed to be in the mood to play nice. “If you wanted to have some fun this morning you could have just asked!” Neither Torel or Keller said anything in reply, just continued to drag him along as his commands to be let go turned into pleading whines. They wouldn’t even look at him.
Jem’si wasn’t scared, not really. Just confused. He trusted his family utterly, and even as they maneuvered him out of the corridor, down a hall, and into an empty dining room he felt confusion more than fear. The room was dark, curtains drawn, and Jem’si let out a small “oof” as he found himself practically flung into a chair. The door clacked shut and he was plunged into nearly complete blackness.
After a few moments of sitting in the dark, trying to figure whatever sort of madness seemed to be running in his wives, Jem’si had enough. He raised his voice, put in every bit of commanding tone he had learned through years of Noble intrigue and business with Humans, and called out to the darkness.
“Well?!”
Light flared suddenly from the chandelier, dazzling his eyes. Fear froze his heart as he realized he and his wives weren’t actually alone. It began to thaw right back up as he saw who sat across from him.
“Why were you all sitting in the dark?” Jem’si tried to keep his voice casual.
“For the emotional impact,” Samuel Forsythe-Painter replied.
“Obviously,” Sammi Painter-Forsythe added.
Flanking the pair of tiny humans sat Elera Heleum and Marin Elbruk. Elera reached into her lap and leaned forward, placing something down on the table. It settled on the ancient wood with a dull thunk.
“The same reason I brought this,” she added helpfully.
Jem’si vaguely recognized the pistol. It was a massive hunk of silver steel with a barrel so wide he could stick a finger into it. The same gun that played so prominently in the story of that whole adventure in the frozen north. He hadn’t realized it had survived the rocket attack at the hotel, or that it had been brought to Shil.
Now thoroughly spooked, Jem’si glanced up at Keller where she stood next to him. She had brought him here, but surely she would protect him from these lunatics.
Keller looked down at him sadly, dark eyes showing little more than disappointment. “Sorry, Jem, you’re on your own.”
Torel was no better. She wouldn’t even look at him. When he glanced to the other side of the table, Marin nodded at Elera. The spikey haired Marine leaned her bulk forward and steepled her fingers together, the spindly shadows from her hands falling across the gun on the table.
“Lieutenant Colonel Marin and I had an interesting visitor yesterday. We’ve both been promoted, retired from active service, and given an Imperial Writ to deal with. It’s a great deal, really; we have been ordered by the Empress Herself to protect our little Human friends here.” With that, Elera reached out and gave Sammi what was likely intended to be a friendly pat on the back but nearly knocked the much smaller Human clear of their chair. “And, if things don’t go well, we’ve been ordered to kill them both.”
“I don’t really care much for that part,” Samuel said quietly.
“Samesies,” added Sammi.
“We’ve also been ordered to ensure that nobody learns about the OTHER project. You know the one.” Marin punctuated her statement by placing her own pistol on the table. This one was much smaller, more modern, but at least as deadly. She looked down at it, then glanced at Elera’s. “These are a really poor representation of our orders. Orbital strikes were mentioned.”
Jem’si grasped in his mind for the swordfighter’s calm he had cultivated the last few years, but it wouldn’t come. He had his ass planted in an oversized chair, was surrounded by people who meant him harm, and even his wives had abandoned him. The best control he could manage was to pull in a deep breath, swallow, and try to hold down the sour, sick feeling twisting through his guts.
“I really didn’t know what to do.” Elera put her hands flat on the table, and Jem’si, hyper-focused now on potential dangers, watched as the fingers on her right hand twitched. “So I figured I’d call the only person I knew who might have experience dealing with this sort of thing. Someone who might know why we were suddenly getting orders from the Empress after working so hard to keep this whole thing quiet.”
Keller’s huge hand landed on Jem’si’s shoulder, causing him to jerk. She didn’t say anything, but she didn’t have to.
“The orders make sense, but they leave something very important out. So I’m going to ask you, Jem’si. I’m going to ask you as a holder of an Imperial Writ, ordered by the Empress Herself to ensure the security of the Painter Research Institute and the Lone Caribou Survival Company.” Elera’s hands were fists now and the light from the chandelier reflected in the tears forming in her eyes.
“What did you tell them? What happened to Stace? Is he even alive out there?” The questions seemed to hang in the air, and Jem’si wondered if the wrong answer would kill him. He had never doubted Keller’s loyalty before, but if the Empress said he had to die, would she stop it? He hoped so, but she had been a Deathshead Commando long before she became his wife.
In the end, he only had one response he could give. He swallowed again, cleared his throat, and hoped that the truth would keep him alive.
“I don’t know what’s happening on Nix. I reached out through Iria Stolsk, who often acts as a scientific policy advisor to the Empress, and I gave her everything I had. Much of it was technical documents from the PRI’s research, but not much more than what was used for the investor’s meeting.”
Jem’si cleared his throat again, then jerked in panic as a loud thunk sounded next to him. If Keller’s hand wasn’t keeping him in place, he might have bolted. Instead, he nodded his thanks to Torel and picked up the glass of water she had found for him. A couple of sips did little to steady his nerves; he would have killed for some of that flavored bourbon Stace made.
“As for the… other project. When Stace started making preparations, I gave him access to a highly encrypted data archive. It contains all of the notes Demir Chel’xa made during her time on Nix, all her observations of the people there. Every bit of video we had, audio clips of their language, topographical and seismic scans of the planet… House Chel’xa kept everything, and I gave all of it to him.
“When he started working on his own plans to save Nix, he was linked to that server. I don’t know if it was intentional or just Stace not knowing how he set up his accounts, but all of his notes were backed up to the same archive. I gave the Empress all of it.”
“But you don’t know what She decided. If Stace is being left alone or if he’s in a blacksite prison.” Elera closed her eyes and a single tear slipped free. “If he’s even alive.”
“No. I don’t know, but if the Empress meant to silence this whole enterprise, you wouldn’t have a Writ. You’d have a smoking hole in your skull.”
Elera nodded. “And so would you. We all would.”
“Why don’t we?” Sammi’s voice was so innocent, so free of the pain and fear everyone else seemed to be wrapped up in, that it seemed to shatter the tension in the room. Shoulders slumped, hands unclenched, and Jem’si had the sudden hope that, just maybe, he’d finish this meeting without throwing up in his lap.
Samuel spoke next. “It’s obvious that the Empress, if she hasn’t exactly given us permission for the Nix project, is at least willing to look the other way. I don’t know what’s going on out there, but I think we can count on Stace doing his thing.” He tapped his fingers on the table in a quick rat-tat-tat, blue-painted nails clicking on the wood. “The real question is why she would let us do it at all. Tons of risk with no real reward for the Empire, which is why we agreed to keep all this quiet in the first place.”
“My husband is a businessman.” Torel’s voice was surprisingly affectionate given the circumstances, and when her hand came up to ruffle Jem’si’s hair he relished the contact. It didn’t matter if his coiffure was ruined. “Even if he’s not the brains of the operation, he occasionally makes a deal.”
“The research you two have been doing; is it real?” Jem’si nodded at the two Humans at the table. “Can you really do that incredible line of turox shit you sold to the investors?”
Sammi let out a very undignified snort. “You have no idea. What the investors are getting is real, but it’s babytown frolics compared to what we could really do with it. We’re keeping the good stuff; I wanna see if I can turn a star inside out.”
“That’s… horrifying.” Jem’si felt on firmer ground now; the crisis had passed and he was going to live through this. “Well, I may have passed the word that the technological superiority you’re providing would put us decades, perhaps centuries ahead of the Consortium and the Alliance.”
He let the moment settle with a performer’s ease before dropping the punchline.
“And if we aren’t allowed to fix Nix it would turn out that you two didn’t actually know what you were doing. It would have destroyed House Chel’xa along with the two of you, but it would turn out we were huxsters all along.”
Samuel laughed bitterly. “And to think, if you actually told us your plan we probably would have agreed to it. Instead, we now have to deal with having two members of our family who have signed and sealed orders from the Empress of the Shil’vati to kill the rest of us. Not exactly something that makes it easy to maintain a relationship.”
Elera pulled herself to her feet before picking up the heavy Human handgun. She carefully checked it, then put it in her pocket. Marin followed her example and did the same with her own pistol, and the two Humans hopped down off their chairs.
“I am sorry.” Jem’si firmed up his voice, felt the old confidence start to pool in his chest. “For not telling you, I mean. I don’t regret what I did.”
“Of course you don’t,” Samuel said sadly as the group headed towards the door. “You’re Shil’vati. We’re leaving, by the way. Going home. It doesn’t feel right to be living off your charity. I’d tell you not to follow us, but we can’t realistically stop you since you own a third of the company.”
“Just know that you won’t be welcome,” Sammi added before slamming the door behind them.
Jem’si let out a sigh as he sank into his chair, feeling suddenly boneless. Keller and Torel moved around him, pulling up chairs of their own.
“That went better than it could have,” Keller said casually. She barely seemed bothered by the whole thing.
“Oh, really?” Jem’si really couldn’t see the bright side.
“We could all be dead,” Torel clarified. “According to the scope of their Writ, either one of those two would have been perfectly within their rights to have the entire Chel’xa compound incinerated.”
“....what.”
“Knowledge of Nix is to be limited to the PRI and Lone Caribou. House Chel’xa clearly knows about it, or this whole thing wouldn’t have gotten started.” Keller sounded too matter of fact, too calm. “You may be the one who got this whole thing going, but the Humans wouldn’t have even known about it if you hadn’t told them. You’re clearly a security risk.”
“You could make the argument that Jem’si is in the clear, as part owner of PRI. I do a lot of the clerical work, so I’m safe too.” Torel smirked over at Keller. “Sounds like you’re the odd one out.”
“Yep. It would have been perfectly reasonable, from a legal standpoint at least, if Elera had shot me in the face as soon as we sat down.” Keller smirked. “Not that she would. I think she kinda has a thing for me.”
“And what, you’d have let her do it?” The panic was back, bile sour and acidic in Jem’si’s throat.
“I’m not bulletproof, Jem. Couldn’t have done a whole lot about it.”
Jem’si pressed his hands to the table, slowly pulling himself to his feet. “I think…” He swallowed. It didn’t help. “I think I’m going to throw up. Then I’m going to talk to Iria and see if I can talk to the Empress in person. I need to get a handle on this before someone ends up dead.”
“Someone else, you mean.” Torel gave Jem’si a very unflattering glare. “On top of all the other deaths we’ve had so far.”
Jem’si bit down a retort as he turned away, walking towards the door. Oh yes. Couldn’t forget those.
–
When it came down to it, Lewis could admit that this was at least partially his fault.
He had left the grocery store with plastic bags in his hands and a spring in his step. The rusty minivan parked next to Lewis's SUV completely failed to get his attention, which was likely the whole reason it was chosen for the job. He had just finished putting the bags in the backseat when the van’s side door opened behind him, a bag slipped over his head, and Lewis was bodily pulled into the vehicle. He barely even had time to squeak out a panicked yelp.
Even with his head covered, Lewis knew at once who his captors were. The large hands, the ease with which they were manhandling him, and the sheer brazenness of the kidnapping left no doubt in his mind that he was in the hands of the Shil'vati. They pulled his hands behind his back and cuffed them together before he was plopped down in the middle seat. Meaty fingers stayed firmly grasped around his biceps as the van rumbled to life. They were on the move.
"So..." Lewis tried to keep his voice even. He wasn't a fighter, and if he started throwing elbows he would still end up at his destination. Just with a broken jaw. "If you're sex traffickers, you probably could do better than me."
There was no reply but silence.
As they bounced along, Lewis was surprised to find that he wasn't as frightened as he expected. After nearly a decade fighting the invaders in his own way, the idea of eventually being captured or killed had percolated through his mind for long enough that it was comfortable. In a way, it was a relief; wherever he was going, whatever was going to happen to him, Lewis was done with the fight. He could hang up his spurs, at least until the gallows called.
Instead of dwelling on the situation, he tried to follow where the van was going. It only took a few turns for Lewis to become hopelessly lost. His lack of a sense of direction was legendary among his friends, and thanks to the ubiquitous ease of GPS and smartphones he never really had to pick up the skill. He regretted his reliance on technology now, not that it would really change anything. The van rumbled on, its old and tired suspension creaking with every bump, and Lewis waited to die.
The van pulled to a stop with a lurch and Lewis jerked awake. He had been half-dozing, a fact that he took in with a bit of surprise. After the first hour or so, the anxiety of being captured had faded into a dull shock, which had turned into a stupor. Now he had completely lost track of time. The door to his right slid open and Lewis was pulled out with a sudden jerk. He tried to catch himself on half-numb legs, stumbled, was caught, and found himself being half carried and half marched on the rough gravel underfoot.
Even with the hood obscuring his vision, Lewis could still hear perfectly fine. He could still smell, too, and the rumble of a large diesel engine was accompanied by the smell of rancid exhaust. The gravel under his feet became a metal ramp and he stumbled again, letting his Shil'vati captors drag him up by his biceps. There would be some nasty bruises later, but for now the pain helped him regain focus.
The ramp leveled out and the metal clang was replaced by the dull thud of thin wood under his feet. Lewis was only dragged a few more steps before a quick shove threw him into a chair. It didn't move at all, evidently attached to the floor, and before he could really process the situation further a loud clatter behind him made evident that Lewis was now trapped. The smell of exhaust was even worse here, sour on his throat. Fear was finally beginning to settle in his guts as he tried to prepare himself for the inevitable torture.
"Ashley Lewis. Age twenty-six standard, degrees in psychology and philosophy, currently employed in an administrative capacity for a phone and 'net based therapy service. Being able to telework has made it easy for you to travel for your other job, working as a data courier and soft asset for the terrorist organization colloquially known as The Numbers.
"A few months ago, you were involved in an attack on a man named Eustace Grant that left him nearly dead and eventually led to a region-wide shakeup of law enforcement and the public execution of the Regional Governess." Lewis's head jerked forward as the hood was pulled off in a single sharp tug.
Black eyes with irises like gold rings floating in pools of ink stared at him from a face of purple skin. In the moment, the Shil'vati looked exactly as alien as she was, and the familiarization he had spent years building flashed away as if they were never there. The alien smiled, drawing attention to her tusks, then nodded once. "It's a pleasure to finally meet you."
Lewis took in his captor. She was average height for a female Shil, though not as massively built as the majority of marines he had seen. Her hair was stark white and pulled back into a ponytail, and she wore a long coat of heavy black. Around him, all he could see was dirty wood and aluminum paneling. The rumbling of an engine continued, as did the stink of fumes. He was in the back of a small box truck.
And in front of him stood Investigator Jel’si Chel'xa.
*****
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This is a fanfic that takes place in the “Between Worlds” universe (aka Sexy Space Babes), created and owned by u/BlueFishcake. No ownership of the settings or core concepts is expressed or implied by myself.
This is for fun. Can’t you just have fun?

Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab is undoubtedly a powerhouse, if not the powerhouse of the indie perfume world. Who else (like me) came to indie perfume at least in part from the hat-tip to BPAL in the acknowledgements of Erin Morgenstern's The Night Circus? I actually still have never ordered from BPAL directly, but I have amassed a fair few samples and decants thanks to Ajevie, Arae, and swaps. And it's always fun to read through the names and notes of each new collection release!
My general thoughts about BPAL are these: they clearly know what they're doing and have an enormous library of notes for them to draw upon. Sometimes new releases feel very much like they just sort of reached into a dark cupboard and combined whatever bottles they happened to grab (particularly the Ménages à Trois), and yet sometimes the unexpected combinations are genius. (Sometimes they are very much not.) BPAL's perfumes tend to work okay for me, but they're not one of my top houses (that list is made up of Nui Cobalt, Poesie, Arcana, and NAVA), although a few BPAL scents have turned out to be holy grails for me (Drow Yoga Instructor, Mouse's Long and Sad Tale). Oddly enough, their florals often tend not to work well on my skin, which is hugely disappointing especially since I deliberately sought out a lot of their ethereal-sounding florals and then a lot of them failed for me. However, their sandalwood incense is astounding, and I love their sweet pea, plum, and pink sandalwood notes.
My preferences: I especially love snuggly scents, incense, golden amber, cardamom, black tea, beeswax, non-gourmand vanillas, and white florals (though sadly I am allergic to lilies and jasmine doesn’t usually work on me). I don't like hay, overly sweet gourmands, excessive musk, leather, dragon’s blood, patchouli, labdanum, or any really dark scents in general.
So here are 27 reviews, organized roughly by category:

Ambers

And With My Spade I Delfe My Landys [Snow-capped golden amber with snowdrop, winter gardenia, hellebore, and iris] - First off, I'm a scholar of Renaissance music, with a real fondness for medieval Books of Hours. Second, I get obsessed with snowdrops in the late winter when the cottagecore-y, hobbit-y, linen-enthusiast circles of Instagram that I haunt fill with photos of snowdrops in February. So how could I pass this one up? I get golden amber and floral as anticipated, and also (just on application, then it recedes) a very resinous, citrusy, herbal scent that I can't quite place - rosemary? Pine? Some combination of the two? It's also a bit powdery (iris has a tendency to pull powdery on me, and as a lover of powdery florals that's just fine with me). And With My Spade is so very reminiscent of those first tentative flowers pushing up through whatever snow still lays on the ground and it's absolutely bonkers wonderful for that transitional season between winter and spring, which is of course what I bought it for.
Bastet [Luxuriant amber, warm Egyptian musk, fierce saffron and soft myrrh, almond, cardamom and golden lotus] - On application, that golden amber reads as powdery honey. As it dries, a sophisticated Egyptian musk and a hint of lotus floral emerge. This perfume is not really gourmand despite the notes. I wish the incense or spices had more presence. As it is, this perfume is nice but it feels a little thin.
Cathedral [Venerable and solemn: the scent of incense smoke wafting through an ancient church. A true ecclesiastical blend of pure resins] - Ohhh, it's pretty. Golden and resinous with only the slightest hint of smokiness. These resins feel closer to tree sap than a dark or spiced incense, so while it's not like any church I've ever experienced, Cathedral is gorgeous and uplifting. I got one scant wear out of my sniffie and would definitely consider getting another sample.
Golden Priapus [A truly carnal, energetic men’s blend: vanilla and amber with juniper, rosewood and white pine] - My experience with this was so puzzling that I went to look up reviews on the BPAL forum, which only puzzled me further! On me, Golden Priapus is an extremely resinous, rosewood-y and tree sap-y golden amber not altogether dissimilar to Hexennacht Baltic Amber [Thick rivulets of golden amber, pinus succinifera, cedarwood, jammy fir absolute, oakmoss absolute, tree moss, verdant musk, cardamom, balsam, lightning-scorched ancient boughs] but with more tree resin and less verdant evergreen. "Carnal" and "energetic" it is not - so off to the forum, where I consistently saw reviews calling this "masculine" and even "a more masculine Snake Oil". I've sniffed Snake Oil (just in the vial, not on my skin) and it had a very red musk + spices vibe, and I don't really see a similarity to Golden Priapus. Nor would I call this "masculine" unless you're the sort who views resinous, sappy golden amber as a more stereotypically men's scent.
The Sun Rising [Three shades of tawny amber radiating with orange blossom, Italian yellow bergamot, saffron, and mandarin] - Golden amber and citrus, with a lot of the saffron. I tested what little was left in the free sniffie in late August, and it was absolutely perfect for the heat of late summer, though I don't think I'll bother buying more because the citrus overpowers the amber a bit (especially the prominent bergamot, not my favorite note).
My Wise Beauty [A simple scent for a quiet memory: white sandalwood and sweet amber] - Resinous golden amber and creamy sandalwood…and vanilla frosting? The "sweet" part of "sweet amber" isn't just flowery adjective but actual description. My Wise Beauty is simple and straightforward but really pretty, wrapping me in a blanket of coziness. The sugary frosting aspect will keep me from seeking out more when this little decant is exhausted, but I will happily wear what's here.

Florals

Alice [Milk and honey with rose, carnation and bergamot] - Soft florals, with the carnation a little more present than the rose. I'm always wary of milk or dairy notes, but the milk and honey here simply serve to mute the rose and carnation, both of which can go strongly green or spicy. I don't dislike this perfume, but as a person who doesn't much love these particular floral notes (I'm much more into white florals, especially tuberose and tiare), it's a little bit boring for me and I ended up destashing this one.
Juliet [Sweet pea with stargazer lily, calla lily, heliotrope, honeysuckle, white musk and a touch of fresh pear] - Disappointingly nondescript. Nonspecific white florals and a hint of pear sweetness. It's dainty and feminine but not memorable. For sweet pea, I'll get my fix with Mouse's Long and Sad Tale.
Lady Amalthea [A luminous white winter musk with lilac, wisteria, white chocolate, white mint, and tuberose] - When it first goes on, the different elements - the florals (I definitely get tuberose, and another floral that must be wisteria, which I'm unfamiliar with), the camphoric spearmint, the white chocolate, and the musk just barely brushing animalic - fight with each other, but it quickly dries down to a much more seamless whole, pretty winter florals over a comforting and Poesie-like white chocolate musky base layer.
Maiden [A gentle vision of purity, goodness and virtue: white tea, carnation and Damask Rose] - It's a lovely combination of rose and carnation, much like Alice, with a slight hint of the green stems but mostly the fragrant flowers (and without the sharp spiciness carnation can sometimes get). On application when it was extremely and uniformly floral, I thought that this perfume needed some vanilla or amber or sandalwood to give it dimension, but as it dried, the white tea emerged to do exactly that - it's not a bitter, astringent white tea, but more the feeling of steam rising from a pale tea in a china teacup. Still, I'm ambivalent at best about rose and carnation, so I destashed it.
Mouse's Long and Sad Tale [Vanilla, two ambers, sweet pea and white sandalwood] - This one is so pretty, delicately sweet and floral, and a staple of my spring perfumes! (Meanwhile, Husband says it smells like talc powder, acknowledging that I like exactly that kind of thing.) I don't get amber or sandalwood individually, but they lend the vanilla a mellowness and warmth. Several hours later, it lingers as a warm sandalwood-amber-vanilla. I love this one so much that I sought out a decant of Mouse's Long and Sad Pumpkin, which I'm saving to try this fall.
Pele [Muguet and Hawaiian white ginger enveloped by warm, damp tropical blooms] - So pretty! This is entirely a white floral perfume, tiare backed by tuberose (I think? A second white floral, definitely). If there's any ginger in there, I don't notice it. I adore tiare so I am entirely happy, though I can also acknowledge that this perfume lacks depth or complexity. I love this and other tropical white florals for summer.
Zorya Polunochnaya [Pale amber and ambergris, gossamer vanilla, moonflower, and white tobacco petals] - A crowd favorite, and I wanted to see what everyone was talking about! This has a sweet + salty, white amber + pink cotton candy effect. The slight tinge of butter and salt to this white amber (no doubt amplified by the ambergris) reminds me of the Alkemia white ambers, Luminae especially. I actually don't really get any florals from this one, which is a pity because I love the moonflower in Nui Cobalt Crown of Hekate [Moonflower and myrrh over shining white amber on a pillow of sheer vanilla] though I find the myrrh in that one quite overpowering. I had been hoping this would be a nice alternative. As Zorya P starts to dry, the tobacco starts to emerge and replaces the initial pink cotton candy effect. It's gentle as tobacco goes, but still more than I would prefer. All in all, it's been really fun to try this one since everyone's been talking about it - and it is indeed just as "gossamer" as the notes description says, though it has a really surprising longevity! But it's not ultimately going to find a place in my collection, since I have other, equally ethereal vanillas that I prefer, and I'm really not into tobacco.

Lavender

TKO [No official notes - people agree that it's lavender and marshmallow] - Yep, lavender and marshmallow. A particularly herbal, astringent lavender, which cuts beautifully through the sweet powderiness of the marshmallow. I'm also getting a sort of dusty background incense, which makes this scent remind me of Stereoplasm Lavender Scarab [Golden amber, English lavender, blackberry, incense], but with marshmallow instead of golden amber
A Place of Seeing [Pink rosebuds and lavender with amber-gilded sandalwood, vanilla bean, bergamot, and marshmallow] - It goes on with the same sleepy lavender as in TKO, made more detailed and complex with the addition of the gentle pink rose petals and the amber-sandalwood-vanilla base. It wafts around me a haze of femininity. As it dries, the marshmallow emerges too, and it becomes obvious that this is literally TKO with the addition of rose and those warm base notes. Very pretty!
The Air and the Ether [Gentle, almost imperceptible, permeating all things: pale amber vibrating with ambergris and a thread of lavender] - Lavender, one that sits midway between herbal and floral, and skin musk. It's an incredibly skin-hugging scent, but has excellent longevity.
On Wednesday, I Will Promise You a Phantom [A gust of luminous lavender, the spectral skin musk of a gently curving ghostly hand, a melodic twang of wisteria and ylang ylang, and a murmur of myrrh-touched vanilla husk] - Another "sleepy lavender" scent - I have several of these in my perfume collection and I love them all. This is a really ghostly, ethereal scent, wafting elusively around me. On Wednesday is primarily a lavender + vanilla scent, but with a bit of complexity. The lavender is the herbal sort, but it's so soft that it's not at all astringent, and the faintest hint of the other florals makes the lavender sometimes smell like the floral sort. Adding just a touch of myrrh was a really clever choice on their part - there's so little that it doesn't make it smell earthy or smoky, but it grounds it and gives it complexity and richness. It's really quite a lovely, ghostly scent.

Fruits

Drow Yoga Instructor [Wild plum, indigo lavender, and a tranquil tendril of sandalwood incense] - A dusty and purple scent with an absolutely gorgeous gentle incense note (I love sandalwood incense!) backed up by lavender flowers (sort of midway between floral and herbal), and a plum note that is intense fruity candy for about 2 seconds when applied, and then merely makes this scent truly purple. When I say "dusty", I actually mean it - after about half an hour, the sandalwood incense really does start to include an actual dust note. This is a stunning scent for yoga practice, or any day you want a gentle purple incense scent. It is the yoga perfume for me, gorgeous and meditative and containing possibly my favorite-ever incense note (sorry, NCD cathedral incense, I promise I love you too!). I don't wear this one as often as I'd like to because I also have other yoga perfumes and I like to rotate through them, but honestly this is my holy grail yoga scent. Even though it has low longevity on me; it'll last through a yoga class and then some, and that's really all I need from it. I'm seriously considering buying a full bottle, which (since I'm a person who full-sizes hardly anything) tells you something about how essential it is for my collection.
Painted Scars [Wild plum and white sandalwood with lavender bud, white musk, and blackberry wine] - I snapped up a half-ml decant of this as soon as I saw the notes, because it reminded me so much of both their Drow Yoga Instructor and also Stereoplasm Lavender Scarab [Golden amber, English lavender, blackberry, incense], both scents I really like. This is a much brighter, fruitier scent than Drow Yoga Instructor, the plum and blackberry combination going on as brash fruity candy (I don't love this stage). But it does dry down to a very calming scent, those dark fruits joined by a bit of grounding lavender and sandalwood. Unlike the two others I thought this would be similar to, Painted Scars noticeably lacks incense, but it definitely lives in their same family. I quite enjoy it (once it has dried down) but won't need to seek out more. I do wonder if layering this with Drow Yoga Instructor might improve the latter's longevity, which would be thrilling if it works.
Titania [A nocturnal bounty of fae dew-kissed petals and pale fruits: white grape, white peach, iced pear, musk rose, sweet pea, moonflower and snapdragon] - It goes on with a blast of fruits too sweet and fruit snack-like, mostly that white grape, but as it sits the florals suddenly emerge with a great whack of petals, and at this point I'm very puzzled because the particular combination of fruit and indistinct white florals reminds me a great deal of mint toothpaste. Another one that's a nice idea but doesn't really work for me on execution.

Greenery

Elf [Pale golden musk, honeycomb, amber, parma violet, hawthorne bark, aspen leaf, forest lily, life everlasting, white moss, and a hint of wild berry] - Wet on my skin, it's pine needles seen through a soft, gauzy veil - it's a strange but lovely effect, the pine needles muted by fruit and amber. Dry, the pine needles disappear entirely, and the perfume is an indistinct but really pretty mix of greenery, floral, berry-like fruit, and glowing golden amber. The overall effect is pretty muted, and by this I don't mean that it lacks throw, just that all of the elements are soft and gentle. It does feel undeniably elfin. I thought it would be a spring perfume but then never wore it the next spring, and when I tried it in early summer, it was much too tree-ish for me - but Husband loved it and happily took ownership.

Beeswax

The Lights of Men's Lives [The wax and smoke of millions upon millions of candles illuminating the walls of Death’s shadowy cave: some tall, straight, and strong, blazing with the fire of life, others dim and guttering] - I love beeswax notes and was excited to try a perfume that I'd read is the perfect epitome of a lit beeswax candle. It's a honeyed beeswax with an unmistakable candle-ness to it even though I don't smell any smoke. It's an extremely atmospheric scent and one that is very situational for me, not for daily wear. I especially love it for Good Friday.
The Little Owl [Tonka bean and vetiver with brown sandalwood, oak bark, almond, and beeswax] - Not going to lie; I was completely suckered in by the cuteness of the name and concept. This scent feels extremely Nui Cobalt-ish: woodsy but also cuddly, featuring honey + almond (like Silver Fox, Chionophilia, and so on) and also some earthier notes, and the beeswax is strong. This is absolutely going to be a fall perfume for me.

Miscellaneous

Baobhan Sith [Grapefruit, white tea, apple blossom and ginger] - I'm not really one for ginger-heavy scents, and somehow my skin always seems to amp ginger notes even if, as in this one, they're last on the list. (Isn't that always the way?) This one doesn't go on with too much ginger, but even just fifteen minutes later it becomes primarily ginger on me, backed with the astringency of acidic grapefruit citrus and white tea leaves. I really love apple blossom but I don't get much if any here; it's overwhelmed by the more assertive notes. Another half hour later, Baobhan Sith is actually nearly gone (or perhaps I just grow anosmic to it?). Meanwhile, at that stage, Husband tells me he can still smell it (so yeah, I've probably just gone anosmic), and that it reminds him of the lime oil in the furniture wax he uses - and he says he quite likes this perfume on me. Overall, it's a lovely idea, and I still think a white tea + apple blossom scent would be just fabulous but this is not it for me.
Bliss in the Pumpkin Patch [There's all manner of shenanigans in this year's pumpkin patch! Pumpkin'ized hybrids of GC BPAL scents abound! BLISS: A shot of pure, self-indulgent euphoria! A scent that is very, very wicked in its own way: the serotonin-slathered scent of pure milk chocolate.] - Oddly enough, I don't actually get milk chocolate; I get cinnamon and espresso over a creamy, foody pumpkin - all told, a bit too gourmand for me, but it was tremendous fun to try. (Less fun: the cocoa solids had separated from the oil, which also left unappealing chocolatey smears on my wrists that I later had to go wash off.)
Lust [Uncontrollable passion and insatiable sexual desire: red musk, patchouli, ylang ylang and myrrh] - This combination of red musk, patch, and myrrh smells to me a lot like dragon's blood. Husband says he likes this one but wouldn't wear it himself; meanwhile it's very very not for me and I didn't bother skin-testing it, red musk and patch being two of my death notes.
Vasilissa [Creamy skin musk and blushing pink musk with soft sandalwood, white amber, dutiful myrrh, and star jasmine] - My immediate response: "Ooh, pretty!" And even Husband graced it with a "yeah, that's nice." A dainty, feminine, slightly floral but mostly pink sandalwood scent with just enough resin and earthy myrrh underneath to ground it.
​

Personally...

I absolutely positively cannot do without Drow Yoga Instructor and Mouse's Sad and Long Tale. Other BPAL favorites include A Place of Seeing and Vasilissa, and probably also The Little Owl (we'll see how much I reach for it in autumn). I'm sad that most of the floral ones I tried don't really work for me. I can also commend BPAL for their pretty and often very clever approach to gauzy, lavender-forward scents.
Thank you to everyone who sold or gifted me these samples and decants!

This case has already been covered, but I felt the write-up was a bit bareboned and could’ve gone further in depth. That write-up was around 500 words, my one has over 1800 words. I have linked their original reddit post, and I recommend you check it out, as they covered this case first.
https://www.reddit.com/UnresolvedMysteries/comments/dipz9h/karen_louise_wilson_missing_from_albany_ny_since/
Karen Louise Wilson was born on February 10th, 1963, to Taylor and Jennie Wilson. She was a popular student in high school and a cheer leader. She was then a full-time senior political science major at the State University of New York and an unpaid, full-time intern for state Assemblyman Samuel Coleman. She aspired to have a career in the foreign service.
On Wednesday the 27th of March 1985, the 22 year old vanished without a trace.
THE TIMELINE:
On the 27th, Karen went to the Colonie Center and bought a red t-shirt and a blue t-shirt to take with her on an upcoming spring break trip to Fort Lauderdale, Florida. She may have also gotten a tan at the Tanning Hut; she had booked an appointment that day but no one at the tanning salon could remember seeing her.
She was last seen in the 1600 block of Central Avenue in Colonie, New York at approximately 7:20 pm. She also called her roommate around this time, and said she was on her way home for dinner.
It was initially believed that Karen got on a bus near the Butcher Block restaurant on Central Avenue and took it to Fuller Avenue, but it was later determined that she couldn’t have gotten on the bus and probably walked instead. 3 credible witnesses would later tell authorities that they had seen her on Fuller Avenue shortly afterwards.
THE LAST 3 SIGHTINGS:
SIGHTING 1: The first witness told authorities that she saw Karen traveling southbound on Fuller Rd after she turned from Central Ave at 8:15pm.
She stated that as she approached a gas station on her left (believed to be the Workingman’s Friend Gas Station), she passed a very slow-moving vehicle, also traveling southbound. She could not recall any specifics of the vehicle's description, except that the driver was a white male in his forties with an intent look on his face. The male had a beard, brown hair with a reddish tint, and a long nose and face.
The witness then saw a female believed to be Karen, walking near a guide rail along the west side of Fuller Road near Sysco Food. By the time the witness reached Fuller Rd at Railroad Ave, she had already driven past the female.
SIGHTING 2: The second witness saw someone they believed to be Karen on the west side of Fuller Road. This was between 8:10pm - 8:15pm.
She stated that the female was walking south of the entrance of Six Mile Waterworks (also known as Rensselaer Lake) near the construction road leading west off Fuller Road. This area is located just north of the I-90 underpass. The female was walking on the grassy portion of the sidewalk, with her head down.
A smaller person of unknown sex was walking along the female’s right side "almost shoulder to shoulder" seemingly urging her up an embankment or incline into the Six Mile area. The smaller person was described as between 5'5 - 5'8 (165-172cm), and between 120-140lbs (54-64kg). When the female turned her head to the left, the witness thought she appeared nervous.
The witness also described a white male following 50 to 100 feet behind the two subjects. He was walking at a steady pace, not seeming to be gaining on the two. He was described as about 5'11 (180cm) with a slim build, in his early 20's, wearing dark pants and a waist length jacket which may have been beige. He had light colored hair (gold to red), and a beard or some other type of facial hair. The couple then returned to the sidewalk and began walking in a normal manner southbound on Fuller Road.
After the witness stopped at the red light at the I-90 ramp, and then continued southbound, she saw the couple past the dirt construction road on the right, just out from the I90 underpass.
She also stated that she saw a stopped or disabled small unoccupied black vehicle at Fuller Rd at Washington Ave Ext. The vehicle had a New York plate bearing partial plate 239 with unknown letters. The car was sedan style and believed to be about five years old. The driver's window was down about 6" and the passenger window was down about 2". She thought this was odd because it looked like it was about to rain. Also noted on the driver's side window was a hole about ¼" in diameter with cracks radiating from it. She thought that it looked like a bullet hole.
SIGHTING 3: The last sighting of Karen was by a third witness at approximately 8:20pm as he left work at the SUNY Albany Campus, and was waiting at the traffic light on Washington Ave and Fuller Rd.
He was waiting for traffic to clear so that he could turn right, proceed north on Fuller Rd and access the I-90 entrance ramp across from the Six Mile entrance. The female was reportedly seen standing on the northwest corner of Fuller Road for about 10 seconds while the witness was waiting for the traffic to clear. He believed that the female appeared to be waiting for the traffic light to change.
When he made the right turn onto Fuller Rd, the witness saw a male crossing Fuller Rd from the west side to the east side, just south of the I-90 underpass. He took a few steps up the driveway where the construction trailers were on the east side of Fuller but seemed to change his mind. He then walked south on the east side of Fuller Rd. The male subject did not appear to be looking towards Karen.
He was described as a white male with "sandy or light brown, messy or curly" hair, with a couple of days growth of facial hair. He was of average height, about 18 - 25 years old, and was wearing a jean (denim?) or aviator type jacket, jeans, a flannel shirt, and high tan construction boots.
As the witness turned right onto the I-90 ramp, he saw a lime green Volkswagen Rabbit (estimated to be a 1981 or 1982) parked along the road. There was no one around the vehicle. This appears to have been the last sighting of her, and she hasn’t been heard from since.
Due to these witness accounts, authorities believe Karen likely walked south on Fuller Avenue towards State University of New York (SUNY) at Albany. They concluded she was likely abducted somewhere near Six-mile Waterworks, the entrance ramp to Interstate 90 westbound and the Northway. The night was not well lit, and the road was not heavily traveled, making it possible for someone to pull her into a vehicle within a matter of seconds without leaving witnesses.
DESCRIPTIONS & BELONGINGS:
Karen was a Caucasian female listed at 5’3 (160cm) and 114lbs (51kg) with brown hair and brown eyes.
Investigators were unable to locate the personal belongings she had with her when she disappeared. These included: A gray cloth notebook, a blue nylon wallet with a Velcro closure, a green and white plastic bag from Ups N Down, and possibly a blue knapsack containing a yellow dress.
She was wearing a Cream-colored raincoat, a light blue short-sleeve pullover, faded blue Levi jeans and white sneakers. She also had a 14k gold ring, size 5 ½, with a turquoise zircon in raised setting along with 1/5 carat diamond on each side, a Seiko watch with a black face and gold numerals and white plastic earrings. The ring was approximately 40-50 years old.
Her dental records are available.
SUSPECTS:
1. A strange man was seen in the area around the time Karen vanished. He has never been identified and authorities have sought him for questioning, at least as a witness or possibly even a suspect.
2. Authorities announced that another suspect in the case was killed in an accidental house fire in 2013. He was never able to be conclusively linked to the case, and it’s thought he couldn’t be the perpetrator as he had reported to work at 4:00am, just a few hours after Karen vanished.
(On a personal note, this conclusion makes little sense to me. Karen’s last confirmed sighting was at around 7:20 pm, leaving nearly 9 hours in between her last known sighting and the time he clocked in to work. The last witness reported seeing her at 8:20pm which still leaves slightly under 8 hours.)
3. Authorities investigated the possibility that convicted murderer and suspected child-serial killer Lewis Lent Jr may have been involved in Karen's disappearance, but determined it was unlikely since Lent's previous victims were all children. He has not been ruled out.
THEORIES:
1. Police did investigate the possibility that Karen traveled to Florida after her disappearance as she had planned but found no evidence that she had ever left New York.
2. Her case has possible links to Suzanne Lyall’s abduction. Both were young, dark haired SUNY students abducted in the same manner. Authorities have investigated a possible link between the two. Both cases are unsolved.
The general consensus is that Karen was abducted and murdered.
PERSONAL THEORIES:
1. Due to Unresolved Mysteries not letting me add photos to this write-up I am unable to provide a sketch of the strange man seen in the area at the time. However, he has an uncanny resemblance to convicted serial killer John Bittrolff. It might be possible he is linked to the case, but this is simply an observation.
2. 2 young women were found murdered and floating in the river close to where Karen disappeared at the same time she vanished. It might be possible that the cases were linked.
CONCLUSION:
During the first year after her disappearance, Karen's family, who now live out-of-state, mailed thousands of letters pleading for information and advertising their $10,000 reward for new details about her disappearance. They have now given up hope of their daughter coming back alive, and simply want to find her body, so they can give her a proper burial and finally know what happened to their daughter.
I don’t have much hope of a conclusion for this case any time soon. It seems clear she was abducted and murdered, and without a body there is no evidence that could lead to anything. Unless her body is found, or someone comes forward, I see this case being unsolved for years to come.
Karen Louise Wilson has been missing for 38 years. If she is still alive, she would be 60 years old.
If you have any information about Karen's disappearance, please contact New York State Police at 518-783-3212.
SOURCES:
https://oag.ca.gov/missing/person/karen-l-wilson
https://www.pressrepublican.com/news/local_news/family-pleads-for-details-in-1985-disappearance-of-their-daughtearticle_36801912-fb94-5152-894d-fd9de58c0502.html
https://www.timesunion.com/7dayarchive/article/Cold-Case-UAlbany-student-still-missing-after-32-11820083.php
https://troopers.ny.gov/system/files/documents/2021/03/karen-wilson.pdf
https://troopers.ny.gov/missing-wilson-karen-louise
https://www.namus.gov/MissingPersons/Case#/5695/details
https://charleyproject.org/case/karen-louise-wilson
https://int-missing.fandom.com/wiki/Karen_Wilson