When was carnival sunrise refurbished

I'm not sure if anyone else noticed, or really cares, about this change. However I noticed it after the patch where they said that they were fixing the Lee Sin baron pit bug.
TLDR,
Lee Sin W shields himself, and grants that shield to an ally when cast on them.
HOWEVER, the when Is a bit more confusing now. Back in the day, the shield would instantly cast upon usage of the ability, meaning that if you redirected yourself using flash or q recast, they ally would still get a shield. Furthermore, allys would not have to wait for your dash to finish to get a shield, meaning it was instantaneous instead of delayed.
Now, though, it seems that the shield only casts IF YOU FINISH THE DASH. Meaning, that if you recast q or flash away the ally no longer gets the shield.
I'm not sure if this is intentional, or if the original mechanic was never meant to exist, but it seems like a rather annoying change despite how insignificant it may seem.

Hi.
Background: So it’s kinda weird to say I ‘treated’ this because eczema really has been staying for my whole life but this January-February I suffered from really bad eczema flare up where I couldn’t even MOVE. No school, no work, simply staying in bad due to infected eczema spots on my face, neck, armpit, arm, back of my knees, you name it. To be honest I still don’t know reason why I got that sick. Steroid even made the symptoms worse so I quit all of medications. Then I did take one to two months to recover, tried a few things and now I have the most clear skin for my face and my body skin, i still do have a few itch spots but it’s manageable. And I did the followings to recover from it.

1. DO NOT TOUCH YOUR ECZEMA SPOTS WITH YOUR DIRTY HANDS. I repeat, ONLY TOUCH THEM RIGHT AFTER YOU WASHED YOUR HANDS. If you scratch really bad then put clean cloth on it and do it. Do not directly do it.
   
2. When you have yellow crystals on your eczema spots and all - wash them with soap every single time you want to scratch.
   
3. AVOID SCRATCHING AT ALL COST. I personally did hot water shower. I know it makes the skin dry but if it could get me good 30 minutes without scratching then I did it.
   
4. SLEEP MORE!!!!! And Drink water, eat good food, (if possible) take break from everything(work,school) that give you stress, and watch fun movie, play some game, exercise if you are feeling you are getting rotten. etc,. I found when I’m stressed out i get more itch spots.
   
5. REMEMBER THAT YOU ARE GOING TO GET BETTER ANY TIME SOON. I personally did affirmation saying ‘my skin is clear’ whenever I do my skincare and it worked. The most awful thing about having eczema is when you go through this mental breakdowns. Try your best to separate the situation you are in and your mood.
   

The followings are what I used:

1. Aloe gel with olive oil. - the reason why I wrote this post. When the spot was leaking really bad, my parents insisted this on. Me so I tried. Mix them and put it on the spot. Let me tell you it HURTS. And it drys up quickly. Then put on some more, and repeat. It has the cooling effect but when it’s not cold anymore and flimsy, wash it off with soap and repeat the process.
   
2. Vaseline - after it got slightly better that it does not leak much + and you want to keep the aloe gel from drying up, put it only the small amount.
   
3. Zudaifu cream - it’s a pink cream in a tube. Antibacterial, and the best thing about it is that it is minty. So right after the leaky stage, whenever you get itchy where you get the soft new flesh on the spot, put this so you dont scratch new flesh.
   
4. La roche posay cicaplast baume B5 - this product kinda finalized my new skin.
   
5. Nivea - along with number 4, this is my go to cream for daily use.
   

I’ve been dealing with maybe, an identity crisis, a few months back I was living in a place where I felt great, I felt loved and I wanted to give and gave love to others.
I had meaningful moments, meaningful connections and conversations. Saying goodbye to them was very hard, it was the first time I’ve cried about leaving behind my friends, I even cried along them.
During that time, I connected so much to them I felt their feelings too, it was very genuine to me. It was when I really wished to find a meaningful partner in life, I felt ready to start a relationship with a woman.
Unfortunately, or maybe not, a new chapter unfolded in my life I had to return back home.
Ever since I’ve returned, I feel how my love has been diminishing as a battery.
I feel like I can’t relate to my friends, and sometimes when I hang out w them I feel a spark again. I truly feel I am not myself.
I no longer get meaningful conversations, they’re are just short lived. In regards relationships I feel now I’m not ready that I’m incapable of one, and just been looking for meaningless casual encounters.
Today I just left the group chat, I thought I didn’t need the anxiety and the waiting of doing something with them over the weekends. I’m free weekends and I understand they work some days over the weekends, but I’d literally ask and no replies, while others do and idk.
I understand relationships change over time, so maybe on weekends I’ll work on myself since on the coworkers side they’re all old there I’m the youngest.
Today I received a text of a friend from where I lived a year(Europe) I told them o was coming to visit Europe. He said I could stay with him or other friends since they want to see me and acknowledge it.
He even is willing to meet me where I’m gonna stay first, and maybe those little acts are what make relationships meaningful.
My friendship with my friends of Europe might change over time, but I cheering them on the present.
I am not feeling alone bc I don’t enjoy my presence but I feel lonely bc I long meaningful connections once again, but I feel like I am started to feel depressed or maybe sad and now I feel like idk myself

I’m actually not talking about the new live action The Little Mermaid, I’m not bothered by that haha. One of my all time favorite book series is getting turned into a TV series, and I’ve been so excited. As the casting has come out I was a little disappointed when I saw one main character who was obviously described as white be played by someone black, and on the reverse there was someone who I always thought was black being played by someone who was white.
I’ll still give it a chance, I think it would just be ridiculous of me to boycott over something like that but I feel guilty for being disappointed by the race switches…advice or thoughts about this situation?

Your mom knows you struggle with PPD but told you when your baby was 1.5 months it was inconvenient to come help you and if you wanted/needed help you’d need to pack everything up and come to her house?
You try but even doing that becomes to much on your own. You are telling her everything, begging for help. “Mama I’m drowning, I feel like I can’t breathe please come help me” “I can’t today sorry” “your father is home from work today sorry” “I’m sorry” “I’m tired sorry”
You barely see or hear from your family in 6 weeks. You learn you’re alone in this. Husband helps where and when he can but the hardest times are when he’s at work.
You tell your therapist you’re having suicidal thoughts and try to get help that way because there’s no other option.
When your family does come around they guilt you for not bringing the baby to them. They say how much they’ve missed you both. But they make no effort. You explain again how hard it is to get out of the house alone. You even say “I will come to your house if you pick us up and help me so it’s not so overwhelming “ but that is also shut down.
You are alone. Do you shut everyone out? You are not entitled to their help and they are not obligated to help you. It is your baby. Your choices. Your responsibility.
Do you feel anger and resentful? After all the times you’ve dropped your whole life for your family? And they won’t come give any kind of assistance or support?

I've been working with a nutritional coach, but I like to see what others have been doing too.
My GIMAP six months ago revealed 3 high bad bacterias, but both Bacteroidetes and Firmicutes (good bacteria) were very low and another good bacteria was barely detectable. Since working with my coach in November, I have been on different types of herbal antimicrobials. I've had some weeks of feeling almost back to normal, but now almost 5 months in, I still feel so super bloated and experience indigestion. The good news is, my BMs seem pretty regulated.
My question is how long were you on a kill protocol? And how long after a kill protocol did you introduce probiotics? And, were you symptom free when you went into the reinonculate phase? I am worried - what if I killed off too much bacteria and my symptoms right now are because I need some good guys in there.

I’m an anxious person, and I definitely give off an anxious vibe. I’m also hyper aware of the energy that other people are giving off. I not only sense it, but I feel it. In some cases, I’m aware of how someone else’s energy affects my own.
I have a friend whose close presence (anywhere from touching to being a few inches away) “feels” way different than when I’m in the same situation with other people. I’m convinced that, if 10 people touched my shoulder while I was blindfolded, I’d be able to tell which one was her. There is no sexual attraction. It’s just feels like her presence evens out energy imbalances in me, or something like that. It’s so weird.
Based on something my wife said, I know that I’m not the only one who notices different vibes/sensations from the touch of other people. I remember her saying that she loved hugging our one college friend. She said his hugs felt like “home”. I was kinda hurt at the time, as she never made a comment like that about me. But I get it since I have more of an anxious vibe to me, and the friend she mentioned doesn’t. My guess is that others can sense his energy in the same way I sense something completely different from my friend.
Is this a “thing”? If so, what’s it called, and where can I learn more about it?

...is actually such an incredible album. I know it's the most commercial, radio-friendly, household album she has and I remember being in high school when it came out and it was everywhere. Revisiting it as an adult though is such a treat. It's definitely a vibe for the lovers, and the songs especially on the I Am section make me so emotional. I have been running this album back on repeat for a few days and am just falling in love with it from a new perspective. Also, Sweet Dreams might just be one of the best songs of all time.

The [Kunama] are one of the indigenous tribes inhabiting the areas around the Setit and Gash river basin, which extends up to and along the Eritrean and Sudanese border in Eritrea and the adjacent districts of Humera and Adi Abo in the Tigray National Regional State in North-western Ethiopia. The Kunama people are nominally divided into four main groups: Kunama Aimasa, living in the western part of the provincial capital town of Barentu; Kunama Barka, living along the river Gash in the south-eastern part of Barentu; Kunama Marda, residing in the north-eastern part of Barentu; and Kunama Tika, living along the river Gash in the southern part of Barentu" (Ethiopia Humanitarian Update 28 Feb 2002).
The Eritrean government changed the name of the Gash-Setit region to Gash-Barka in 1995 when there was an administrative restructuring in the country. This region is relatively rich in resources. According to a study by Alexander Naty, a professor in the Department of Anthropology at Asmara University:
"There is a great deal of fertile land for farming not only staple food crops such as sorghum, millet and a variety of legumes but also cash crops such as cotton and sesame. There has been a belief that considers the Gash-Setit region as [the] breadbasket of Eritrea. The notion of breadbasket encourages the establishment of large scale farms in the area. The promotion of such farms has been causing environmental degradation in the country….The Gash-Setit region is endowed with pastureland [where] pastoral societies graze their livestock. Communities such as the Tigre and Hedareb graze their camels, cattle and goats in the area. This situation has brought these societies in conflict with the Kunama. According to oral history the conflicts that took place between the Kunama and the coalition of Tigre, Hedareb and the Nara in the 1940s and 1950s were all caused by competition over grazing land" (Naty 2002).
Settlement of people from other areas in the Gash-Setit region was limited during the period of Italian colonialism, under the imperial regime of Haile Selassie, and up to the period of independence. But, settlements "increased alarmingly after [Eritrean] independence" (Naty 2002):
"Since 1991 the area has witnessed the settlement of populations from other regions of Eritrea (particularly highland parts of the country) demobilized ex-fighters and returnees from Sudan….The 1998 conflict between Eritrea and Ethiopia has also resulted in the settlement of the internally displaced populations from the Tigrinya ethnic group in Kunama villages, such as Delle, Tolegamaja and Karkon" (Naty 2002).
According to Naty:
"The [Eritrean government] policy that made all land state property has encouraged the settlement of people from other regions of Eritrea in the area. The settlers compete with the local populations over the utilization of resources. The competition over scarce resources often leads to tension. The agricultural policy of the state encourages big commercial farms. The individuals who own these commercial farms are mostly from the Tigrinya ethnic group. The land policy of the Eritrean government undermines the clan-based traditional ownership of land among the Kunama" (Naty 2002).
Horn of Africa specialist Patrick Gilkes states that the Kunama "have suffered extensively at the hands of Tigrinya speaking highlanders who have encroached on their lands, in the past and since Eritrean independence" (BBC News 23 May 2000).

8 hours after 2g penis envy
The way you’re instantly catapulted into another dimension and you’re basically completely back on earth in 3-4 hours is what I love. Quick in, quick out. Being able to coherently think about what literally just happened an hour ago, while being in pretty much a normal state of mind. It’s awesome and you don’t get that coherent looking-back on acid. It’s more of just a memory from 6 hours ago which is much harder to remember and understand in retrospect.
Also this is sort of an unpopular opinion but for me, I feel so much less prone to having a bad time on shrooms. Somehow for me, the thoughts don’t get too incredibly confusing and disorienting like they do on LSD. And I like being slower when I’m tripping. I don’t like feeling too stimulated. Today I was kind of stressing out about some negative thoughts that I thought were going to be extremely prominent and focused on while tripping, but no…not at all. I thought about them, and was like “okay. Moving on. Look at the detail in these floorboards.”

Background, I (NB26) have a 2 year old dog who had a cancer scare. We had to undergo a surgery & many vet trips. I was under a lot of distress with the thought of losing my “son”. My girlfriend (NB 27 cat person) believed it would help to get a puppy both for him to have a friend to play around with, & for myself in case things got worse. I know it’s not the best reasoning, at first I was against it because of the commitment & work a puppy requires (I raised my first). But they had offered to help & gave me reasoning to go through with the idea & helping pay the adoption fee. When we first went to go meet him(5mo), we promised to wait a day & sleep on the decision before going through with it. After that day we agreed & went to go take him to his new home. We had agreed on a 2 month trial period to ensure that he gets along well with my current dog.
They became friends immediately & my dog was so happy. His health got better & his stitches are now fully healed!
It’s been 2 months, my girlfriend has been no help whatsoever. Refusing to help with walks, feeding, or cleaning up after him. Stating “it’s not my dog.” It has all become my soul responsibility, which has proven to be very difficult, but I make it work. He is kennel trained & has shown a lot of progress! But accidents do happen cause he’s a puppy. he barks (not often) so they required me to get him a vibration bark collar (works 90% of the time) He grabs some things with his mouth & tries to teethe on hoodie strings when getting belly rubs. they complain and complain & now has a full resentment towards him. Calling him ugly & openly stating that they hate him. They have no tolerance & don’t understand that he is still learning. He’s actually a very good boy & learns quickly, much easier going than my first. I try my best to help cater to their needs but there have still been issues.
They’re also demanding I get him neutered before the vet suggested 8month- 1year age which worries me because I don’t want it to result in later health problems. They feel that because they helped pay for him, they have a say.
Every time he does something they don’t like, they tell me they want me to rehome him. Holding the 2 month trial period (which I understood was for the dog’s comfortability with each other, not for their lack of patience and understanding) against me.
I have grown attached & am heartbroken that they act this way & hate him, I worry it’ll be a never ending battle. I don’t want to rehome him, I’m committed to this dog & I don’t think that it is fair to him at all. I love my animals with all my heart & pour so much time & care into their well-being, it breaks my heart that they don’t feel the same way. I love my girlfriend & am committed to them but this doesn’t feel right & I’m sad.

1. >**What will you be doing with this PC? Be as specific as possible, and include specific games or programs you will be using.**

Desire:

• 4k Max Settings on a ~55inch 4k TV
• As well as 4k on a 20-30" monitor (not sure yet)

Games I play:

• Future proof for any next-gen like Dead Island 2, Resident Evil 4 and whatever is to come.
• FPS like Call of Duty, Apex Legends, or Halo Infinite.
• Single player like Hogwarts Legacy or Elden Ring.
• I work for a large gaming company and am wanting to use my PC for both work and play, but there is nothing specific about my job that would require more than what my gaming PC will offer. I am a program manager so I'm not doing any scripting, compiling, or image/video/media management.

1. >**What is your maximum budget before rebates/shipping/taxes?**

• No hard budget as I'd like to learn what it take to fit into my needs listed above. Ideally if I can keep it around $3000 USD but I'm flexible in both directions depending on what is needed.

1. >**When do you plan on building/buying the PC? Note: beyond a week or two from today means any build you receive will be out of date when you want to buy.**

• ASAP

1. >**What, exactly, do you need included in the budget? (ToweOS/monitokeyboard/mouse/etc\)**

• Tower, OS, Components only. No peripherals (mouse, keyboard, etc)

1. >**Which country (and state/province) will you be purchasing the parts in? If you're in US, do you have access to a Microcenter location?**

• Boston, easy access to MicroCenter

1. >**If reusing any parts (including monitor(s)/keyboard/mouse/etc), what parts will you be reusing? Brands and models are appreciated.**

• Company providing a 4k monitor, unsure the make/model

1. >**Will you be overclocking? If yes, are you interested in overclocking right away, or down the line? CPU and/or GPU?**

• Not for many years until I can't run max settings on new games

1. >**Are there any specific features or items you want/need in the build? (ex: SSD, large amount of storage or a RAID setup, CUDA or OpenCL support, etc)**

• 2 TB SSD

1. >**Do you have any specific case preferences (Size like ITX/microATX/mid-towefull-tower, styles, colors, window or not, LED lighting, etc), or a particular color theme preference for the components?**

• Mid tower. I'll choose a style I'd like and am expecting to spend like $150 here (I guess?) so don't worry much about what you choose

1. >**Do you need a copy of Windows included in the budget? If you do need one included, do you have a preference?**

• No

1. >**Extra info or particulars:**

• Water cooling
• Bluetooth & wifi extender
• I'll spend the bulk of my budget on the best GPU on the market I'm assuming.
• I'm not sure if gaming requires I7 these days but my bf tells me he has gotten along fine with an I5 & 16GB for just gaming all of his years in 4k, but his PC is slower these days for gaming compared to when he spent 3k or so ~6 years ago on all of the latest gear. He used to be able to play modern games at Max Settings with his 1080 TI which he says was the best GPU on the market at the time, but now he has to play modern games on low or medium. I'd like to consider future proofing vs upgrading a few years down the line like he is now having to do. So we're not sure if 32 GB RAM is standard these days.

I had almost three days w/o a health scare until this afteroon when my right eye began feeling weird. I feel a pressure like feeling on right eye which i also feel the pressure around eye socket.
I went to eye doctor on Thursday due to eye pain on right side and they said it was due to allergies but that I had no infection or anything. I was having such a good day until this happened. I had just come back home after shopping all day, so it is not like i was on my screen for a long time.
Also I just went to ENT on Friday and doctor mentioned that everything was fine, no sinus issues.

i remember using kiddions a while ago and i could change the interior color of any car but when i tried this today that was not the case. anyone know why its not working?

In my setup I used to run a gtx 1650oc and I was gaming at 1080p 120hz on my hisense u7g, (south african version only supports 1080p 120hz not 4k 120hz)
I recently upgraded my gpu to the radeon 6600xt and now I'm stuck at 1080p60hz or 4k60hz depends on the game but the option for 1080p 120hz is there, when I select it, my screen is doubled horizontally, so I'm at a loss, in my long searches no website holds the answer and my troubleshooting has led to no success :(
Please help

I started skiing properly last year as an adult (24F) and have been pouring time and money into this (lessons + my own equipment) as I want to get to a certain level to try freestyle for fun.I went twice last year and have gone every month this year and will go in April. Most of my friends live in Europe and have skied since 3 or 4. One of those friends had been encouraging me when I sent him videos and saying we should ski together, told go basically every week and I’m still so shit ». I knew I was not GREAT due to lack of experience but I didn’t think I was so bad but I was happy with my progress even when slow. I suddenly feel very self conscious and I’m not sure if should continue. Maybe it’s not for me? Adults who started skiing, what did your progress look like?

I have been seeing all the love and support for baby Blu and let me tell u I broke down wishing I had this support when I was 17 yrs old raped by 2 men that were my friends family 1 was 26 the other 30 it was my birthday and I thought I was safe because I was friends with there brother and niece I was so gulable back then I just wanted to have fun ... But the fun turned to black when I was drugged I fought my hardest to stay awake and I let go I could not fight I just remember hearing them and waking up n and out I couldn't talk I couldn't move not even cry .. my cousin was n the living room knocked out she told me the next day they gave her a half of something n I knew then they had gave her some to put her out to rape me .. I was sick to my stomach scared and ashamed because how was I gonna tell my friends there uncle and brother raped me ? And would they believe me . I kept silent for so long until one of the men came forward and told his homegirl he didn't know I was "drugged" he thought I was "okay " with it ...
It's never easy telling anyone you were raped especially ones you are close to because of judgement ... And to this day at 31 I still haven't fully shared the story because I was still scared and ashamed I blamed myself because I took the pill I drank what they gave me just to have fun ...
💙💙Blu baby I stand with you 100 percent please don't be silent speak up and tell your truth . Don't be afraid and do not be ashamed you are STRONG AND BEAUTIFUL always remember that ! 🙏🏾 We are all here for you ! And I am you ❤️ I am Mona .

I apologize for releasing this work so soon after each other. I decided that for every five parts of the Exploits of Irving Reese I release, I would release a chapter of The Ventures of Fritz Decke, as I am still writing that story. Given that I fell behind, I wanted to post the first two parts today.
I also apologize for any inaccurate German in the title. I simply took what I wanted the title to be in English and put it though Google Translate. If it is inaccurate, please let me know in the comments. I will gladly fix it.
I also apologize for the first chapter not really being about Azur Lane all that much. I wrote that chapter to be the set up for this one.
You can also find this work Here. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fritz woke up. He knew he had a big day ahead of him. He got dressed in his formal uniform and went to the train station.
“Excuse me, a train from Lorient to Wilhelmshaven, please.”
The stationmaster looked at the ticket and punched it. Soon, Fritz was on a train to Wilhelmshaven.
Once he arrived, he got off the train. He did not know what he wanted to do. He knew he had to get the evening train from Wilhelmshaven to Berlin, so that meant that he had some time to kill.
He decided he would go to the harbor and watch the boats on the horizon.
He smiled as he watched the boats. It reminded him of when he was a boy, and how he and his mother would watch the boats on the Spree go by. It gave him a sense of nostalgic calm.
“Um, hello? What are you doing?”
Fritz turned around to see the source of the voice. A white-haired woman was looking at him with her sharp blue eyes.
“I was just watching the boats on the horizon.”
The woman nodded.
“Do you mind if I join you?”
Fritz nodded, and the woman sat next to him on the ground.
“This is nice.”
The seagulls were squawking. Fritz smiled.
“So what brings you to Wilhelmshaven?”
“Transit. I’m on leave. I’m going to Berlin to visit my mother.”
“That’s good. I’m also going to Berlin. I’m visiting my sister.”
Fritz and the woman continued to watch the ships sail across the horizon.
The woman got up and Fritz did the same.
“I never asked your name.”
Fritz smiled and reached his hand out.
“Oberfähnrich zur See Fritz Decke”
The woman took his hand.
“I’m Tirpitz.”
Fritz smiled.
“Nice to meet you, Tirpitz.”
Fritz looked at his watch. “It looks like my train will be here soon. Since we are both going to Berlin, do you suppose we should go together?”
“Like a date?”
Fritz blushed. “Well, I mean I guess so.” He scratched his head.
Tirpitz nodded.
Soon, the two were at the train station, getting ready to leave for Berlin.
While on the train, Tirpitz and Fritz learned more about each other.
“So you are a first-watch officer on a U-boat? What’s that like?”
Fritz smiled.
“Smelly. Imagine 54 men and only one toilet, no shower. It’s also pretty cramped.”
Tirpitz giggled. “What kind of U-boat, anyway? Is it one of the mass-produced models?”
Fritz giggled. “Yeah. U-103, a Type IXB U-boat. It’s not as advanced as the IXC or even the IXC/40 I heard about, but it’s home.”
Tirpitz nodded.
“You’re an interesting man, Herr Decke.”
Fritz laughed.
“Now it’s my turn to ask you some questions.”
Tirpitz giggled.
“Ask away.”
“Who’s your sister?”
Tirpitz sighed.
“My sister is Bismarck. We are KANSEN. We take on the sirens.”
Fritz’s eyes went wide. He had only heard of the KANSEN in passing, often as rumors among the crew or in brief appearances in newsreels.
“You’re a KANSEN?”
Tirpitz nodded. “Yes. My sister and I were going to have a meeting. It is important, as Bismarck wants me with her alone. She even excluded U-556 from this meeting.”
Fritz nodded.
“Then why is a KANSEN that is so powerful talking to a lowly Oberfähnrich zur See like me?”
Tirpitz giggled.
“I don’t know. Maybe I have to kill you”
Fritz nervously laughed, as he was not sure if she was joking or not.
Soon, the train arrived in Berlin. Tirpitz and Fritz got out.
“Well. It was a pleasure to meet you, Tirpitz.”
“As is the same, Oberfähnrich zur See Fritz Decke.”
“Please, just call me Fritz.”
Tirpitz nodded. She left and soon was in the busy crowd.
Fritz walked to his mother’s apartment. He walked past the Tiergarten and was soon there.
Fritz knocked on the door. An older woman opened it.
“Fritz!”
she embraced her son.
Fritz smiled. “I’m home on leave, mutti.”
The woman smiled. “I’m just glad you are safe.”
Fritz entered the apartment.
Meanwhile, in a government office, Tirpitz was walking to Bismarck’s office. Bismarck’s guards opened the large doors for her.
Inside the office was Bismarck. She was sitting at her desk.
“Ah, sister. You made it. Good.”
Bismarck pulled out a chair.
“Please. Sit.”
Tirpitz nodded as sat in the chair.
“What was it you wanted to talk about?”
“It’s about our futures. The war with the sirens gave me time to think. What will happen to us after the war ends? What future do we have?”
Tirpitz sighed. “I don’t know. For all we know, we may not all survive. The Ironblood may not survive.”
Bismarck nodded. “That is why I was thinking of arranging partners for us.”
Tirpitz went red.
“Sister! Why would you suggest such a thing? Graf Zeppelin had a partner and we all know what happened.”
“What happened between her and Zeslaus is simply a one-off. This time, it will succeed.”
Tirpitz raised an eyebrow.
“What makes you so confident?”
“We are not Graf Zeppelin. The two of us will do better with a partner by our side. I have brought you here to pick out a partner. I have already selected mine.”
“Who is the candidate?”
Bismarck smiled.
“An Ironblood army Oberluetnant by the name of Heinz Kollmann. He has so far proven himself loyal to the Ironblood. Rewarded both the Iron Cross second and first class, as well as the Knight’s Cross.”
Bismarck placed a vanilla folder on the desk for Tirpitz to look at.
“Here. This is the man I think will make a perfect partner for you. He is from my guard unit.”
Tirpitz opened the folder. Inside was a piece of paper with a black-and-white photo.
“Hanns Von Schweppensburg”
“SS-Strumbannführer.”
Tirpitz gave her sister a look of tranquil fury. She was trying to hide the amount of disgust that she had at even the thought of being with a man like Hanns.
“Sister. I know this name is a noble, as he has a Von in his name.”
“Sister, you must calm yourself. He is loyal-”
Tirpitz cut her sister off.
“Bismarck. I. Don’t. Love. Him. He is a loyal lapdog that his family likely influenced into a position of power based on his name alone!”
Her sister’s outburst took Bismarck aback.
“Sister. You must calm down. There are plenty of other candidates that I can select for you.”
Tirpitz slammed her hands on the desk.
“Sister, there is one man I thought of. I might have just met him, but he is better than the lapdog you want me to shack up with.”
Bismarck’s eyes went wide. “What is this person’s name?”
“Have your secretaries look for a man in the Ironblood database by the name of Fritz Decke, Oberfähnrich zur See. He is the first-watch officer of a mass-produced Type IXB U-boat, U-103.”
Bismarck sighed. She knew her sister was not like her, and the thought of being in an arranged relationship would only bring her anger.
“Sister. I should have asked you if you even wanted a partner. I met Heinz not so long ago, and I thought you could use a partner as well.”
Tirpitz took a deep breath. “It’s alright sister. I knew you wanted the best for me, but an arranged relationship with a noble is not one of them.”
Tirpitz sighed. “Why are you so adamant about having a partner?”
Bismarck sighed. “Vestal told me something very important to me. She found out that we KANSEN can have children.”
Tirpitz’s eyes went wide. “So this is all about finding a man to marry to produce an heir?”
Bismarck nodded. “Yes. Ever since Vestal told me that news, I thought about starting a family.”
Tirpitz nodded. This was the first time that she heard that KANSEN could have children.
Soon, one of Bismarck’s secretaries entered the office.
“Sorry to interrupt Lord Bismarck, but here are the files on Oberfähnrich zur See Fritz Decke you asked for.”
Bismarck nodded and took the vanilla folder from the secretary. The secretary nodded and left the office as soon as she had arrived.
Bismarck opened the folder and blushed.
“I have to admit, he is quite handsome.”
Tirpitz blushed.
“Let’s see,Oberfähnrich zur See Fritz Decke. Born on September 7th, to Gehard and Magda Decke. Gehard Decke was killed in action before Fritz was born. He joined the Ironblood navy at 20 and is currently 22 years old. The Ironblood has stationed him at Lorient as part of the 2nd U-boat flotilla. He is a first-watch officer of U-103, a mass-produced Type IXB U-boat, under the command of Manni Gräfer. That’s the man you want to be your partner?”
Tirpitz nodded. “I know that U-boatmen tend to smell like body odor and diesel fumes most of the time, but he and I have a higher chance of actually loving each other than Hanns.”
Bismarck nodded. “Very well. I suppose that Roon will pick Hanns Von Schweppenburg.”
Bismarck got out of her chair. “Do you want me to fetch him?”
Tirpitz shook her head. “No. I’ll head to his mother’s apartment. I figured I’ll ask him on a date.”
Bismarck nodded. “Good luck, sister.”
Tirpitz got out of her chair and walked to Magda’s apartment. Once she arrived, she knocked on the door.
Magda looked at Tirpitz. “Hey, Fritz, a woman is at my door.”
Fritz walked to the door. “Tirpitz? What are you doing here?”
Tirpitz blushed. “I was thinking of going on a date with you.”
Fritz blushed. “Really? Alright, I’m still in my formal uniform.”
Magda kissed her son on the cheek. “Fritz! You didn’t tell me you have a girlfriend now!”
Fritz went red. “Mutti, she’s not my girlfriend!”
“Then why are you going on a date?”
Fritz went blank. He realized it was strange that he was going on a date if he didn’t have a girlfriend.
“I don’t want to keep my date waiting. I love you.”
Magda kissed Fritz on the cheek. “Take care, my son. I love you.”
Fritz nodded and closed the door.
“So where to?”
“How about the Tiergarten?”
Fritz nodded.
“Tiergarten it is.”
The couple reached the Tiergarten.
“You should see it when all the trees have their leaves. It is something magical. I always love when autumn would happen. The whole Tiergarten becomes a painting.”
“You act like you know what you are talking about.”
“I kind of do. I grew up here. My mother and I would always go to the Tiergarten in the autumn. They were one of the best memories I had when I was growing up.”
Tirpitz nodded.
“I didn’t have that when I was growing up. Us KANSEN do not have things such as hometowns.”
Fritz smiled.
“Well, you at least have where you were built. That has to count.”
Tirpitz blushed. “I guess Wilhelmshaven would be my hometown in a way.”
Fritz smiled. “See. You have a hometown. You were always of the sea.”
Tirpitz giggled. “Your energy. You remind me of a hummingbird.”
Fritz laughed. “I guess I’m your little Kolibri?”
Tirpitz smiled and laughed. “Yes. I guess you are.”
Fritz felt the world move as if someone had caked it in molasses.
He leaned into Tirpitz and kissed her on the lips.
When they broke away, they were both blushing. They were both nervous and Fritz accidentally left his eyes open, looking like a dying carp.
“That was amazing.”
“So, what do you want to do next? I mean, it is our first date.”
“You want to book a hotel room?”
Tirpitz blushed.
“Fritz! It’s our first date. I thought our first kiss would be as intimate as it would get. I thought that traditionally you wait until at least three dates in order to do anything more than kiss.”
Fritz blushed once he realized what he was implying.
“I mean, I was thinking we would just get a hotel room to sleep in during the night. My mother’s apartment is too small for all three of us and it is going to get cold tonight.”
Tirpitz nodded.
“Alright, let’s get a room.”
Tirpitz and Fritz booked a room at a hotel. They both stripped down to their underwear and lay down on the bed together.
“You’re so beautiful.”
Tirpitz blushed. Fritz looked quite handsome, but in his underwear, her mind went wild.
“I want to cuddle.”
Tirpitz leaned into Fritz’s arms, and soon the couple cuddled together.
“Tell you what. The next war patrol I come back from, we’ll do it.”
Tirpitz blushed.
“I don’t know if that would be possible.”
“What makes you say that?”
“I’m stationed in the Norwegian territories to monitor the sirens in that area. I’m not called the Lonely Queen of the North for nothing.”
Fritz nodded. He knew he had to return to Lorient in a week, as he was only on leave for 14 days.
“Then, I suppose whenever we both have leave, we’ll do it.”
Tirpitz smiled as she kissed Fritz.
“I wonder if I can write to you?”
Fritz giggled. “Tirpitz, you know I’m an U-boatman. I can’t send you letters.”
Tirpitz sighed. “I’ll still write them. You write me some as well, and we will read them together once you get back.”
Fritz smiled.
“That sounds like a good plan.”
Tirpitz yawned as he was in Fritz's arms.
“You want to be my boyfriend?”
Fritz smiled.
“It’ll be an honor to make the Lonely Queen of the North not as lonely.”
Tirpitz smiled. She knew Fritz had said yes.
“Ich Liebe dich, mein kleiner Kolibri.”
Fritz smiled as the couple fell asleep.
And even though the weather outside was as cold as a popsicle in liquid nitrogen, the bed that Fritz and Tirpitz were in was warmer than any summer’s day.

This post is really hard to write. There's a lot of regret, grief, and guilt in it.
My husband passed away back in September of last year, some of you may remember my post talking about it. We had our son in August so they only got to spend a month together. We have two older kids who obviously took it extremely hard.
So, to the whole reason for my post is that I don't know why but I feel distant as a mother to my kids, but especially the baby. I almost feel as if the stress of adding another child caused my husband to be under such tremendous stress it caused him to have a heart attack which lead to a traumatic brain injury. He was working non-stop because my maternity leave wasn't paid (which I do blame the multi billion dollar company I work for who could easily pay it). The thing is our life was good, it was happy before this. My best friend believes that my son was sent by the universe because it knew I would lose my husband and part of me does believe that but at the same time I almost think that's another reason I feel distant. That it's not blame on my son but it's this feeling that had I not went through with the pregnancy he might still be here. It's so conflicting and I hate myself for feeling this way hence the guilt.
I don't know what to call it. But, my life now is just a mess. Having three kids alone without their dad is so very hard. I realize people do it everyday but this loss is felt, the grief we feel has this gravity that is almost suffocating. You can feel it when you enter a room. I wish I could go back in time and find my husband in time to save him. I wish so much that things were different. I know I can't, I guess I wonder does anyone else have feelings like this?