Does kate spade repair bags
AITA if I don’t buy a present for this person
2023.06.09 23:03 ExtensionCod213 AITA if I don’t buy a present for this person
Basically, I have these friends at school Sarah, Emily,Kate,Everlyn and Maria (not real names Ofc). I’ve only became friends with these guys for 2years now. I have recently started becoming friends with Evelyn and I will say we get on quite well. 2Months ago Maria decided to go to the “popular people’s” group (There are 2 sides to the popular people group 1 side is like the really really popular people and the second side for the really popular but not as popular as side 1 if that makes sense). Maria decided to first go to the side 2 because one of the girls from that group was in our form and them to were really close and currently are. 1month ago Maria and her new friends were strolling and came across Everlyns bag. Maria lightly kicked it as a joke and one of the girls decides it was a good idea to hide Everlyns bag so that she wouldn’t find it. Maria didn’t like everlyn because of past reasons but she thought hiding someone’s bag was going to far so she moved it back. The girls then said “Your Everlyns best friend” “You love her”. After this incident the girls started to call Maria names and say stuff like “EW traitor” “Backstabber”. Leaving Maria friendless and eventually deciding to come back to my group (by this time her dad got cancer . There is another girl in the group called Ashley and she is in between the popular group and my group. We’re all friends. Maria decides to tell Ashley “I’m not going to sit with (my name) group there soo boring”. Ashley tells us this and Maria stops sitting with us. Maria goes to the side 1 of the popular people only for Me and Kate to tell her “nicely” her friends also don’t like her and Ashley heard them say “she’s so annoying” she acts like (random girls name) who keeps following us and thinks we’re friends. Eventually Maria comes back to us. Ashley now revealed that when she was with side 1 of the popular girls she used to talk about us. Maria worries about who she’s going to sit next to at lunch and who she is going to pair up with in sports. I do feel bad for her sometimes because her dad has cancer (even before her dad got cancer she still acted like this). Tommorow is her birthday I have bought nothing for her and I don’t know what to say as an excuse not to buy something. She was also going to have a birthday party but I think it got cancelled because there’s nobody to go to it. Some people might say to confront her or tell her what she did but I can’t cause Ashley doesn’t want to be involved and doesn’t want to look like a snake. What should I do??????
submitted by ExtensionCod213 to AmItheAsshole [link] [comments]
2023.06.09 23:01 ProjectFrostfall This New Update Makes Me Sad
I fucking love this game, man. I stuck with it through cockkup after cockup. Through safes and awful hiests and further DLC and adding Minigun Dozers into normal play. I was going to get to 1000 Achievements, and Infamy 100, then I would stop.
And then, this update dropped.
I couldn't play it all of yesterday, and while it DOES work now I reinstalled the mod files, it's still busted beyond repair. Softlocked on a loading screen and the thought of that after a 30+ minute heist is...no. And then there's all the other things I've heard, about the awful Steam connection due to switching to EGS servers, Overkill gunning for that Epic Games money, broken mods, broken Side Objectives and...I'm done.
It's obvious that they'll fix all this in time, but we've been battered around for too long now. It's pretty noticable that Overkill cashed us out when we thought we were in the clear. They went fucking BANKRUPT two years ago because of their awful Walking Dead Game, and we supported them anyway. And THIS is how they repay us.
So, I'm done. I'm uninstalling the game and leaving the community. I'm not even going to bother with Payday 3. Even if it doesn't have the microtransactions that have been leaked, I'm not dealing with this company again. It's not worth it. So farewell, even if just for now. I met some really nice people on this subreddit...
submitted by ProjectFrostfall to paydaytheheist [link] [comments]
And then, this update dropped.
I couldn't play it all of yesterday, and while it DOES work now I reinstalled the mod files, it's still busted beyond repair. Softlocked on a loading screen and the thought of that after a 30+ minute heist is...no. And then there's all the other things I've heard, about the awful Steam connection due to switching to EGS servers, Overkill gunning for that Epic Games money, broken mods, broken Side Objectives and...I'm done.
It's obvious that they'll fix all this in time, but we've been battered around for too long now. It's pretty noticable that Overkill cashed us out when we thought we were in the clear. They went fucking BANKRUPT two years ago because of their awful Walking Dead Game, and we supported them anyway. And THIS is how they repay us.
So, I'm done. I'm uninstalling the game and leaving the community. I'm not even going to bother with Payday 3. Even if it doesn't have the microtransactions that have been leaked, I'm not dealing with this company again. It's not worth it. So farewell, even if just for now. I met some really nice people on this subreddit...
2023.06.09 22:56 MajorWilliams Major Williams' Watch Services - welcome and terms
 | submitted by MajorWilliams to u/MajorWilliams [link] [comments] https://preview.redd.it/i1do482v225b1.png?width=1355&format=png&auto=webp&s=e9ca380d3098aa0793454e31035fc70108666edd Hello there! I’m MajorWilliams, and I’m based out of California in the US. I have been working with watches for quite a few years, but recently have gotten quite serious with becoming a watchsmith. I particularly enjoy modding services, but cannot do some of the more complicated mods yet (heavy CNC machining, etc). If you would like help sourcing non-Rolex parts (i.e. Patek, AP, Vacheron), I can assist but do not always have a lead on all parts. My services that I currently offer are as follows and do not include shipping costs. If you would like insurance on the package greater than $50 (standard USPS), please let me know prior to sending funds for shipping and it can be added to the cost. SERVICES FOR YOUR WATCH - $45 initial diagnosis, this fee will be built into whatever work is agreed upon after the watch is opened and we have a discussion. If it is too complicated or expensive for you to want to proceed, this fee is non-refundable unless at my discretion - $50 water resistance check and lubrication (aka “waterproofing”) – appropriate lubrication and grease applied to gaskets, and watch will be tested to 5 atm, with video sent to client of the test results with the movement removed. This process does not guarantee water resistance, but is a relatively good indicator of being able to wash your hands, light swimming, etc. Warranty does not cover waterproof results. - *$65-75 Date disc or DWO swaps. Client must supply date disc or collaborate with me on acquiring one. - *$65-75 dial swap requiring no modifications. Includes light cleaning where appropriate. - *$75 dial swap with dial dots or epoxy (Depending on movement and other factors) - *$50 hand alignment or replacement - $50-$95 Crystal replacement - [add-on] $50 keyless work ($65-85 without add-on) including teardown, inspection, cleaning and greasing as necessary. I’ve found some movements can come quite dry in the keyless works. - [add-on] $25-35 Movement regulation includes attempt to bring watch into specifications (usually +/- -10 seconds per day in 6 positions). This may not be possible on some watch movements due to a variety of issues, but will work with you through it. - [add-on] $65 Automatic works service includes removal, cleaning and oiling as needed per gen-spec. This can include rotor silencing, but isn’t guaranteed. I will try my hardest to get it there though! - 15202/16202 Pizza Hand Mod - $130. Trim down the hands to look more gen like. If I have time I try to do a rotor silence as well. - Mods/gen parts install - Time and labor will need to be quoted. * = these services can be combined for further discount and are not additive Full Movement services: A service includes full strip down of the movement, inspection of each part under a microscope, full parts cleaning, lubrication per gen spec, and regulation. Should any part need replacing, I will consult with you on options, cost, and timeline. If you want a gen part to be placed, I require a cash-advance for that part up front. For more complex bracelets, I will tell you ahead of time there will be an additional fee for the cleaning. - Tier I movement servicing $235:
https://preview.redd.it/gzi355jx225b1.png?width=933&format=png&auto=webp&s=9221278104e4fb50161f44b270dd797dd0ac9719 Your satisfaction with your watch is my priority as these are meant to be something we wear and treasure over time. I will not knowingly mislead or misguide you in your repair. I will not knowingly represent a timepiece to be overhauled and serviced that I know has not been. I will not advise unnecessary repairs or services.
https://preview.redd.it/87ohatjy225b1.png?width=895&format=png&auto=webp&s=4156a21c7b9e8163e0565e343dabd0d78be03579
https://preview.redd.it/8pwf3f6z225b1.png?width=1347&format=png&auto=webp&s=224de5c9cef14a01723e7b62a0b1c7edbc7f0cc6
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2023.06.09 22:55 fitterniti TheRiseofSkywalker Rewrite
Huge Star Wars Fan as that's one of my fondest memories of my late Grandfather. That and Godzilla. We never missed a showing of any of the films. I wish he were here to watch the new trilogy with me but given how disjointed and incoherent the new films turned out to be, I'm glad he's happy in heaven. Anyhoo. Honestly, I don't think we need to even rewrite these movies too much because they had all the ingredients to begin with. However, here's my painstakingly thought out Re-Write. This took a good part of two hours to write folks. Off the top of my head on a Friday midnight with bare minimum effort. I cannot fathom how a billion dollar studio couldn't afford writers who did not even understand basic setup and payoff, consequences to actions and building suspense and grand setpieces. What an incredibly wasted opportunity. Let me know what you think of my re-write of the plot. Aight. I'm a go cool off my aching fingers in some ice now while you peruse my rambling poorly structured sentences. 😂
PART ONE: This remains largely the same. But Rey and Finn fall hard for each other eventually. Kylo is split between the dark and light and genuinely believes the Jedi were the ones in the wrong and wants to bring about balance by destroying both the Jedi and the Sith. Snoke is a major influence. Let him be present and not just a shadow. Good vs Evil yada yada. Kylo hesitates on the bridge scene with Han but something flashes in his mind and makes him grasp a Ruby bracelet on his wrist. Memories of a past he had suppressed. Han notices the turmoil in his son and says "Ben. . ". As he reaches out to embrace his son, the turbulent memories trigger the saber to ignite, killing Han Solo. Kylo accepts his journey to the darkness and gets shot by Chewie. Rey and Kylo stand-off near the end. Except Rey doesn't nearly win. Finn loses a leg or arm in his blinded rage for Kylo killing Han Solo. Kylo is freakishly strong. Rey and Finn are saved by the skin of their teeth as Poe saves their asses instead of some natural calamity. This cements their friendship further. Luke's history is detailed. How he retired. Blah blah. Rey then goes and finds Luke. The end. Oh and btw, Finn has a better relationship with Poe and deeper bond with Han Solo while Rey gravitates intensely towards Leia and is good friends with Poe (but only after Poe's skepticism that she can be a Jedi fades near the end of the plot) This will have a solid pay off later.
PART TWO: Luke begrudgingly allows Rey into his personal space. He also doesn't chuck the light saber but takes it back to his hut and begins to dismantle it. Rey fights him and in the tussle he breaks down and confesses about why he quit. The Jedi had to make a terrible choice in the past. To save younglings and mother's in a distant home base or protect the few hundred fighters they had remaining. The Jedi are left in this tough spot when facing the tyranny of the new order - something they presumed was a remnant of the Emperor's reign but in reality, was a slowly rising menace new to this time in the galaxy. Stuck in between a rock and a hard place, they chose wisely not emotionally. Which is what the Jedi are. They're pragmatic. Not the heroes. Kylo was a Jedi master at this time and not a trainee. He couldn't stand by the orders of the Jedi as his friends and padawans were being mercilessly slaughtered. They saved the future but at the cost of the present. Cue heart wrenching scenes of Kylo disobeying the Jedi, breaking off to save the kids etc., while the Jedi stand their ground defending the military locations. Luke chases after Kylo after feeling that the threat has been handled. He reaches the home base to find a Kylo kneeling in the ruins, ashen remains of younglings around and his padawan in his arms. Luke approaches Kylo as he's giving a monologue about how they had to make the tough choice and Kylo is seething in rage. He crushes the bones of the ashen body, his sadness turning to anger while the Ruby bracelet his padawan used to wear is left behind as the only memory of his closest friend in his hands. He blames the Jedi for this tragedy, calls them monsters and as Luke tries to stop him, a battle ensues between them with Luke almost killing him. This cements both of their positions. Luke, withdrawn and head held down, apologizes to Kylo and tells him that he hopes he understands someday. That great sacrifices are needed sometimes. And that you cannot always save Everyone. In fact. It's only the sith that think along those lines. Luke retires. Realising that this time, they've gone too far. The Jedi have paid a price that cannot be justified in the name of the greater good. He quits and exiles himself while Kylo, seeking answers from the dark side is eventually led to Snoke. Po and Finn (with his new arm/leg) go on more buddy adventures replacing the whole Rose animal saving arc. Snoke wants Rey really bad so we keep that arc and Kylo boards Leia's ship instead of flying around to capture Rey and bring her in. Po and Finn aren't on board so it's free game for Kylo. A standoff ensues with a big fight which ends with Kylo raging about and losing control of his force powers. Blowing everyone in the room out into space. . the shields come on but not fully and Rey is stuck near the edge holding on to Leia with her dear life stopping her from flying off into space. Kylo is climbing up towards Rey and about to put the restraints to capture her. That's when he notices Leia and she looks him in the eyes. She let's go to Rey's horror and as Kylo strikes down in anguish, Rey dodges but he's too fast and slaps on the restraints. Kylo immediately jumps through into space after his mom while calling in ships to rescue them and bring Rey in. Cue scene like the Guardians of the Galaxy Part Two where Quill fails to save Yondu at the end. Leia uses her hidden force powers: NOT to shield herself and Marry Poppins her way into the ship. But to save her beloved son, despite everything. Kylo sheds tears breaking down as he holds his mother, feeling her last breaths through the force. He mutters "Not you. . Not you too". . She whispers "There's still some good in you. . And I see it in her too. . Ben. . Save her, she's . ... .." . . Silence. . as Leia's hand freezes while caressing Kylo's face and she dies. Kylo gets saved by the troopers and they depart to Snoke's lair, letting Leia's body float away into the deep dark nothingness of space. Entombed forever. Rey is tortured by a Kylo who is slowly losing his cool but she resists and puts up a force fight against his mind. Both end up in Snoke's room and the SAME shenanigans ensue. Snoke senses the confusion in Kylo and goes about treating him like a child. Snoke CHIDING Kylo and punishing him now makes more sense. While Rey tries her best to be the good guy and take on Snoke to only be mocked and thrown about. Snoke starts killing the resistance ships in space one by one. His minions have also captured a few of the rebels and brings them to knee in front of them - shock and awe as part of the folks kneeling are Finn and Poe. Here comes a major change and I feel Oscar Isaac would personally love this one. Poe gets a brutal ass fucking death with limb dismemberment etc. while everyone else tries to stop it but gets fucked up by Snoke and his incredible powers. Similar to that Negan scene from The Walking Dead and also makes more sense here as Poe's death in Part One as per Disney's initial plans would've been pointless (insufficient character growth to justify a meaningful death) Even Kylo is not cool with this and tries to intervene because this is too violent and too much but gets ragdolled like a bitch. Snoke even claims that HE was the one who put that distractiom in Kylo's memory, making him pull the trigger on the saber that killed Han. He gave Kylo the perfect memory at the perfect time to give him that one push over the edge. He influenced Kylo's rage, blinding him and making him take his own father's life. Snoke jeers and Kylo and Rey, claiming they're far more pathetic than he thought and they're unworthy of his teachings and presence. Poe is almost done for but being the badass that he is, musters what little strength he has to wink to Rey as she force pushes the blaster into his hands. Born out of pure fucking desperation to save his friends, Poe focuses his last ounce of strength and shoots Snoke straight in the face, blinding him in one eye. Buying just enough time for both Kylo and Rey to reach for the sabers, however, Rey gets hers first and absolutely wrecks Snoke as Finn rushes to Poe Dameron, holding him as he breathes his last. Kylo fends off an entire room of the Red guys 1v6. Rey vs Snoke is going on. Rey taps into the dark side. Juices up. Chops up Snoke and blows him up and as he's dying she still keeps going apeshit on him while Kylo has to step in and restrain her. Even he has a difficult time but manages to reign her in. Snoke dies. So does Poe. Kylo apologizes, saying this isn't how he envisioned things. As he's about to walk off, a sinister voice rises from the darkness beyond Snoke's corpse. Laughter echoing in the chambers as Snoke's remains, a lifelesss mangled corpse floats into the air with electricity arcing from his fingers and eyes. . And the ICONIC DIALOGUE is whispered in a booming growl "Your feeble skills are no match for the power of the dark side". . It's fucking Palpatine as a floaty ghosty mother frocker, grinning from ear to ear while Snoke's corpse collapses to the floor and this OMINOUS DEATH looking bastard rises into full frame. . movie ends. . Cut to black 🙄 Palpatine was the one controlling Snoke all along and he somehow survived the atomization and explosions. However, at least here, he is in Ethereal form and not Corporeal so it's easier to digest the fact that a Sith so fricking hungry with immortality and power would manage to continue his existence. . somehow. It's palatable. It's also palpable. It's also. . Wait for it. . Palpa-TINE. . Badum Dish. . Drumroll please. . I got puns for days 🤣
PART THREE: Movie starts off like The Two Towers. Zooming shots throughout Snoke's Palace while the sound bytes of the Part Two's climax play through with camera panning into the Throne room as the final moments of Part two play out all over again. Sheer panic and dread has set in. Poe is gone. Snoke is but a puppet in the true sense. Emperor looms over Rey, Finn and a befuddled Kylo who's now questioning everything he ever fought for. Emperor plays with them like they're little ants, frying them, flinging them and ripping off Finn's fake (arm/leg). He's toying with them and torturing them. And just as he's about to do finish them, the massive ass heavy doors to the throne room are flung apart like paper. Standing in the corridor backlit by green is a cloaked figure that whispers "I thought I threw you into the abyss". . As the lightsaber ignites in Glorious Green and the green light cascades onto an incredibly PISSSED OFF Luke Skywalker. "It can't be. You were in exile!" mutters a grumpy Emperor. A ridiculously immense "feat of strength" battle ensues similar to that of Dumbledore vs Voldemort. Both parties pulling out force powers out of their ass in magnitudes that are ripping the ships internals to shreds and endangering everyone else. It becomes a stalemate and they escape with their lives. And now, the "Somehow Palpatine returned" dialogue makes sense, especially when it comes from LUKE's mouth and not frickin Meriadoc Brandybuck. Luke explains to everyone else how Palpatine was an ancient evil he once fought and destroyed with his father Anakin. Everyone's shitting bricks because the Emperor clearly never died in the true sense of the word and has remained busy in the shadows as Snoke, rebuilding his empire, pulling all the strings. That's also WHY EVERYTHING LOOKS AND FEELS THE SAME WITH THE VILLAINS. MOTIFS, VEHICLES, DEATH STARS. BECAUSE ITS THE SAME BAD GUY ALL ALONG. 😅 Cue a final desperate adventure where Kylo comes to terms with his failures and how he was being misled all along. Sombre scene between him and Luke. He tells Luke "I don't know what to do. I cannot seek forgiveness. I allowed all this to happen. So many lives. I thought I was doing this for the greater good. For the balance. I knew there would be no coming back from this for me. But others could thrive in a new world". . Luke replies.."The greater good. Some of the worst things in the world were started with the best intentions. The Jedi were noble but they were also human. .and flawed.".... ... "All those lives I've taken .. " says an absolutely shattered Kylo Ren.. ..Luke replies. . "Lives that can never be brought back. But you can pay for theirs with the life you own now..We can put an end to it. It's not too late to see it through to the end. .".. ..Luke locks eyes with Kylo "Your mother and father loved you more than anything Ben. As do I". . Luke also tells Ben about how his grandfather, Darth Vader chose to be a father in the end and helped destroy the Emperor, eventually dying as Anakin Skywalker instead. This can lead to the scene where Ben breaks the Darth Vader helmet memento to bits and sheds his own helmet too. Tearjerker scene can follow where Ben Solo has a Skype call with mom and dad force ghosts who also give a cryptic message that he should talk to Luke because Luke has something incredibly important to tell him) - instead of the dumb scene with Han where he's a "memory"?. . Self forgiveness FTW? 😅 Rey comes to terms with Luke's warning about giving in to the dark side and TRAINS HARDER while Finn baby takes over Poe's mantle and fills in the Ace Pilot spot, wearing Poe Dameron's jacket and colors. Macguffin adventure with Luke Skywalker ensues.
THE GRAND FINALE. Finn leads the way to fight in space and stop the death destroyers. Rey, Ben and Luke go to the ground game to finish the emperor, once and for all. While enroute, Luke sits the kids down and tells them why The Emperor wanted both of them and their powers. They're brother and sister, born as a dyad, a strong bond in the force that was so United, it posed a threat to the fabric of the force itself. This happens once every few generations and they had to separate them during childhood once they figured out that Snoke had sent assassins to capture them. This also makes INCREDIBLE SENSE as to why Han and Leia could not be seen together and why Rey had been hidden away on a desert planet somewhere. Rey's parent is a LITERAL SKYWALKER. Someone she's been talking to all this time and only now finds out that it's her actual mom. Fuck me in the heartstrings. They both break down, mend their differences and get ready for the final fight. The Emperor has grown way stronger. The battle does not go easy. Ben's own soldiers, the Knights of Ren are a menace and nearly bring both Rey and Kylo to their knees. Except. Kylo calms himself down and in a moment of PURE CHEER WORTHY AWESOMENESS, he focuses himself to the point where his SPUTTERING LIGHT SABER BECOMES SOLID STATE LIGHT. A true saber but in all of its red glory. The brother sister duo tap into the force and start fighting together, blending their styles instead of doing their own thing while Luke faces off against the Emperor again. The knights are finished eventually but Luke is not winning at all. The Emperor uses some cheap tricks and tries to one shot Kylo and Rey but Luke gets in front of them taking the full brunt of the hit. As Luke is unable to stop the massive force lighting and starts to disintegrate, he looks back at his niece and nephew, smiles and tells them to look into the force, "You will always find us there". . Luke disappears, the Emperor falters, and his force lightning fades for a brief second. And that's all the siblings needed to make full use of Luke Skywalker's noble sacrifice. They attack with everything they have, exchange banter in between and just as the Emperor launches another Salvo of Force Lightning saying "I am ALL the Sith", Ben and Rey cross their sabers together and block the lightning. While they struggle to keep the lightning at bay, all of the force ghosts appear together as a result of the Dyad fusion, supporting them from behind. The force ghosts light sabers materialise into reality and the duo join them to their own sabers and reflect the lightning back to the Emperor, while saying this quote in return "And we are ALL THE JEDI". Emperor destroyed for good now 😤 . . SOMEHOW. . NO. NO SOMEHOW. HE'S DEAD FOR GOOD.
No awkward, out of the blue cringe fucking kiss scene like between Ron & Hermione after killing the Basilisk. All those ReyLo fans can weep in a dustbin. And the Dyad now makes sense. Every legacy character's death makes sense and has meaning. Each death also is in sequence. Han goes first. Leia follows. And Luke is the last to kick the bucket. Emperor's comeback also makes sense. Somewhat. The ending makes even more sense. Kylo (Ben). Rey. Finn. Reunited. They re-build the Resistance. And also teach a new philosophy of Balanced approach. Neither giving in to the dark side. Nor being blinded only by the light side. A new way forward. Led by the Skywalker genes through the combination of an Organa and a Solo in a new temple. Finn and Rey profess love for one another. And the last scene is her burying the force ghost's sabers in the ground until they're needed.
Years pass. Dry af desert planet. Rey and Finn are building their home. Random ass desert camel lady passes by asking "I've not seen you around here". . Rey replies "We're new here", as she looks down at her pregnant tummy and Finn working on their home in the distance. "What's your name, my dear?" asks the dry as a stick camel lady. . "Rey. . " comes a quick reply . . "Rey who?" Asks the annoying dust bag old lady. . "Rey Organa" . . Says Rey in a contemplative low voice. . Taking a look back at Finn, she smiles and says with a slight tremble . . "and that's my husband, Finn Solo".. "Rey Organa and Finn Solo, from the Skywalker Clan" . . Says Rey with Utmost confidence now in her voice.. The screen fades to black on a sunkissed Rey's face as she is now looking into the future, sure of the legacy she wants to carry ahead.
ORCHESTRAL MUSIC GETS LOUDER.
FADE TO BLACK on the Two Suns of Tattooine.
submitted by fitterniti to StarWars [link] [comments]
PART ONE: This remains largely the same. But Rey and Finn fall hard for each other eventually. Kylo is split between the dark and light and genuinely believes the Jedi were the ones in the wrong and wants to bring about balance by destroying both the Jedi and the Sith. Snoke is a major influence. Let him be present and not just a shadow. Good vs Evil yada yada. Kylo hesitates on the bridge scene with Han but something flashes in his mind and makes him grasp a Ruby bracelet on his wrist. Memories of a past he had suppressed. Han notices the turmoil in his son and says "Ben. . ". As he reaches out to embrace his son, the turbulent memories trigger the saber to ignite, killing Han Solo. Kylo accepts his journey to the darkness and gets shot by Chewie. Rey and Kylo stand-off near the end. Except Rey doesn't nearly win. Finn loses a leg or arm in his blinded rage for Kylo killing Han Solo. Kylo is freakishly strong. Rey and Finn are saved by the skin of their teeth as Poe saves their asses instead of some natural calamity. This cements their friendship further. Luke's history is detailed. How he retired. Blah blah. Rey then goes and finds Luke. The end. Oh and btw, Finn has a better relationship with Poe and deeper bond with Han Solo while Rey gravitates intensely towards Leia and is good friends with Poe (but only after Poe's skepticism that she can be a Jedi fades near the end of the plot) This will have a solid pay off later.
PART TWO: Luke begrudgingly allows Rey into his personal space. He also doesn't chuck the light saber but takes it back to his hut and begins to dismantle it. Rey fights him and in the tussle he breaks down and confesses about why he quit. The Jedi had to make a terrible choice in the past. To save younglings and mother's in a distant home base or protect the few hundred fighters they had remaining. The Jedi are left in this tough spot when facing the tyranny of the new order - something they presumed was a remnant of the Emperor's reign but in reality, was a slowly rising menace new to this time in the galaxy. Stuck in between a rock and a hard place, they chose wisely not emotionally. Which is what the Jedi are. They're pragmatic. Not the heroes. Kylo was a Jedi master at this time and not a trainee. He couldn't stand by the orders of the Jedi as his friends and padawans were being mercilessly slaughtered. They saved the future but at the cost of the present. Cue heart wrenching scenes of Kylo disobeying the Jedi, breaking off to save the kids etc., while the Jedi stand their ground defending the military locations. Luke chases after Kylo after feeling that the threat has been handled. He reaches the home base to find a Kylo kneeling in the ruins, ashen remains of younglings around and his padawan in his arms. Luke approaches Kylo as he's giving a monologue about how they had to make the tough choice and Kylo is seething in rage. He crushes the bones of the ashen body, his sadness turning to anger while the Ruby bracelet his padawan used to wear is left behind as the only memory of his closest friend in his hands. He blames the Jedi for this tragedy, calls them monsters and as Luke tries to stop him, a battle ensues between them with Luke almost killing him. This cements both of their positions. Luke, withdrawn and head held down, apologizes to Kylo and tells him that he hopes he understands someday. That great sacrifices are needed sometimes. And that you cannot always save Everyone. In fact. It's only the sith that think along those lines. Luke retires. Realising that this time, they've gone too far. The Jedi have paid a price that cannot be justified in the name of the greater good. He quits and exiles himself while Kylo, seeking answers from the dark side is eventually led to Snoke. Po and Finn (with his new arm/leg) go on more buddy adventures replacing the whole Rose animal saving arc. Snoke wants Rey really bad so we keep that arc and Kylo boards Leia's ship instead of flying around to capture Rey and bring her in. Po and Finn aren't on board so it's free game for Kylo. A standoff ensues with a big fight which ends with Kylo raging about and losing control of his force powers. Blowing everyone in the room out into space. . the shields come on but not fully and Rey is stuck near the edge holding on to Leia with her dear life stopping her from flying off into space. Kylo is climbing up towards Rey and about to put the restraints to capture her. That's when he notices Leia and she looks him in the eyes. She let's go to Rey's horror and as Kylo strikes down in anguish, Rey dodges but he's too fast and slaps on the restraints. Kylo immediately jumps through into space after his mom while calling in ships to rescue them and bring Rey in. Cue scene like the Guardians of the Galaxy Part Two where Quill fails to save Yondu at the end. Leia uses her hidden force powers: NOT to shield herself and Marry Poppins her way into the ship. But to save her beloved son, despite everything. Kylo sheds tears breaking down as he holds his mother, feeling her last breaths through the force. He mutters "Not you. . Not you too". . She whispers "There's still some good in you. . And I see it in her too. . Ben. . Save her, she's . ... .." . . Silence. . as Leia's hand freezes while caressing Kylo's face and she dies. Kylo gets saved by the troopers and they depart to Snoke's lair, letting Leia's body float away into the deep dark nothingness of space. Entombed forever. Rey is tortured by a Kylo who is slowly losing his cool but she resists and puts up a force fight against his mind. Both end up in Snoke's room and the SAME shenanigans ensue. Snoke senses the confusion in Kylo and goes about treating him like a child. Snoke CHIDING Kylo and punishing him now makes more sense. While Rey tries her best to be the good guy and take on Snoke to only be mocked and thrown about. Snoke starts killing the resistance ships in space one by one. His minions have also captured a few of the rebels and brings them to knee in front of them - shock and awe as part of the folks kneeling are Finn and Poe. Here comes a major change and I feel Oscar Isaac would personally love this one. Poe gets a brutal ass fucking death with limb dismemberment etc. while everyone else tries to stop it but gets fucked up by Snoke and his incredible powers. Similar to that Negan scene from The Walking Dead and also makes more sense here as Poe's death in Part One as per Disney's initial plans would've been pointless (insufficient character growth to justify a meaningful death) Even Kylo is not cool with this and tries to intervene because this is too violent and too much but gets ragdolled like a bitch. Snoke even claims that HE was the one who put that distractiom in Kylo's memory, making him pull the trigger on the saber that killed Han. He gave Kylo the perfect memory at the perfect time to give him that one push over the edge. He influenced Kylo's rage, blinding him and making him take his own father's life. Snoke jeers and Kylo and Rey, claiming they're far more pathetic than he thought and they're unworthy of his teachings and presence. Poe is almost done for but being the badass that he is, musters what little strength he has to wink to Rey as she force pushes the blaster into his hands. Born out of pure fucking desperation to save his friends, Poe focuses his last ounce of strength and shoots Snoke straight in the face, blinding him in one eye. Buying just enough time for both Kylo and Rey to reach for the sabers, however, Rey gets hers first and absolutely wrecks Snoke as Finn rushes to Poe Dameron, holding him as he breathes his last. Kylo fends off an entire room of the Red guys 1v6. Rey vs Snoke is going on. Rey taps into the dark side. Juices up. Chops up Snoke and blows him up and as he's dying she still keeps going apeshit on him while Kylo has to step in and restrain her. Even he has a difficult time but manages to reign her in. Snoke dies. So does Poe. Kylo apologizes, saying this isn't how he envisioned things. As he's about to walk off, a sinister voice rises from the darkness beyond Snoke's corpse. Laughter echoing in the chambers as Snoke's remains, a lifelesss mangled corpse floats into the air with electricity arcing from his fingers and eyes. . And the ICONIC DIALOGUE is whispered in a booming growl "Your feeble skills are no match for the power of the dark side". . It's fucking Palpatine as a floaty ghosty mother frocker, grinning from ear to ear while Snoke's corpse collapses to the floor and this OMINOUS DEATH looking bastard rises into full frame. . movie ends. . Cut to black 🙄 Palpatine was the one controlling Snoke all along and he somehow survived the atomization and explosions. However, at least here, he is in Ethereal form and not Corporeal so it's easier to digest the fact that a Sith so fricking hungry with immortality and power would manage to continue his existence. . somehow. It's palatable. It's also palpable. It's also. . Wait for it. . Palpa-TINE. . Badum Dish. . Drumroll please. . I got puns for days 🤣
PART THREE: Movie starts off like The Two Towers. Zooming shots throughout Snoke's Palace while the sound bytes of the Part Two's climax play through with camera panning into the Throne room as the final moments of Part two play out all over again. Sheer panic and dread has set in. Poe is gone. Snoke is but a puppet in the true sense. Emperor looms over Rey, Finn and a befuddled Kylo who's now questioning everything he ever fought for. Emperor plays with them like they're little ants, frying them, flinging them and ripping off Finn's fake (arm/leg). He's toying with them and torturing them. And just as he's about to do finish them, the massive ass heavy doors to the throne room are flung apart like paper. Standing in the corridor backlit by green is a cloaked figure that whispers "I thought I threw you into the abyss". . As the lightsaber ignites in Glorious Green and the green light cascades onto an incredibly PISSSED OFF Luke Skywalker. "It can't be. You were in exile!" mutters a grumpy Emperor. A ridiculously immense "feat of strength" battle ensues similar to that of Dumbledore vs Voldemort. Both parties pulling out force powers out of their ass in magnitudes that are ripping the ships internals to shreds and endangering everyone else. It becomes a stalemate and they escape with their lives. And now, the "Somehow Palpatine returned" dialogue makes sense, especially when it comes from LUKE's mouth and not frickin Meriadoc Brandybuck. Luke explains to everyone else how Palpatine was an ancient evil he once fought and destroyed with his father Anakin. Everyone's shitting bricks because the Emperor clearly never died in the true sense of the word and has remained busy in the shadows as Snoke, rebuilding his empire, pulling all the strings. That's also WHY EVERYTHING LOOKS AND FEELS THE SAME WITH THE VILLAINS. MOTIFS, VEHICLES, DEATH STARS. BECAUSE ITS THE SAME BAD GUY ALL ALONG. 😅 Cue a final desperate adventure where Kylo comes to terms with his failures and how he was being misled all along. Sombre scene between him and Luke. He tells Luke "I don't know what to do. I cannot seek forgiveness. I allowed all this to happen. So many lives. I thought I was doing this for the greater good. For the balance. I knew there would be no coming back from this for me. But others could thrive in a new world". . Luke replies.."The greater good. Some of the worst things in the world were started with the best intentions. The Jedi were noble but they were also human. .and flawed.".... ... "All those lives I've taken .. " says an absolutely shattered Kylo Ren.. ..Luke replies. . "Lives that can never be brought back. But you can pay for theirs with the life you own now..We can put an end to it. It's not too late to see it through to the end. .".. ..Luke locks eyes with Kylo "Your mother and father loved you more than anything Ben. As do I". . Luke also tells Ben about how his grandfather, Darth Vader chose to be a father in the end and helped destroy the Emperor, eventually dying as Anakin Skywalker instead. This can lead to the scene where Ben breaks the Darth Vader helmet memento to bits and sheds his own helmet too. Tearjerker scene can follow where Ben Solo has a Skype call with mom and dad force ghosts who also give a cryptic message that he should talk to Luke because Luke has something incredibly important to tell him) - instead of the dumb scene with Han where he's a "memory"?. . Self forgiveness FTW? 😅 Rey comes to terms with Luke's warning about giving in to the dark side and TRAINS HARDER while Finn baby takes over Poe's mantle and fills in the Ace Pilot spot, wearing Poe Dameron's jacket and colors. Macguffin adventure with Luke Skywalker ensues.
THE GRAND FINALE. Finn leads the way to fight in space and stop the death destroyers. Rey, Ben and Luke go to the ground game to finish the emperor, once and for all. While enroute, Luke sits the kids down and tells them why The Emperor wanted both of them and their powers. They're brother and sister, born as a dyad, a strong bond in the force that was so United, it posed a threat to the fabric of the force itself. This happens once every few generations and they had to separate them during childhood once they figured out that Snoke had sent assassins to capture them. This also makes INCREDIBLE SENSE as to why Han and Leia could not be seen together and why Rey had been hidden away on a desert planet somewhere. Rey's parent is a LITERAL SKYWALKER. Someone she's been talking to all this time and only now finds out that it's her actual mom. Fuck me in the heartstrings. They both break down, mend their differences and get ready for the final fight. The Emperor has grown way stronger. The battle does not go easy. Ben's own soldiers, the Knights of Ren are a menace and nearly bring both Rey and Kylo to their knees. Except. Kylo calms himself down and in a moment of PURE CHEER WORTHY AWESOMENESS, he focuses himself to the point where his SPUTTERING LIGHT SABER BECOMES SOLID STATE LIGHT. A true saber but in all of its red glory. The brother sister duo tap into the force and start fighting together, blending their styles instead of doing their own thing while Luke faces off against the Emperor again. The knights are finished eventually but Luke is not winning at all. The Emperor uses some cheap tricks and tries to one shot Kylo and Rey but Luke gets in front of them taking the full brunt of the hit. As Luke is unable to stop the massive force lighting and starts to disintegrate, he looks back at his niece and nephew, smiles and tells them to look into the force, "You will always find us there". . Luke disappears, the Emperor falters, and his force lightning fades for a brief second. And that's all the siblings needed to make full use of Luke Skywalker's noble sacrifice. They attack with everything they have, exchange banter in between and just as the Emperor launches another Salvo of Force Lightning saying "I am ALL the Sith", Ben and Rey cross their sabers together and block the lightning. While they struggle to keep the lightning at bay, all of the force ghosts appear together as a result of the Dyad fusion, supporting them from behind. The force ghosts light sabers materialise into reality and the duo join them to their own sabers and reflect the lightning back to the Emperor, while saying this quote in return "And we are ALL THE JEDI". Emperor destroyed for good now 😤 . . SOMEHOW. . NO. NO SOMEHOW. HE'S DEAD FOR GOOD.
No awkward, out of the blue cringe fucking kiss scene like between Ron & Hermione after killing the Basilisk. All those ReyLo fans can weep in a dustbin. And the Dyad now makes sense. Every legacy character's death makes sense and has meaning. Each death also is in sequence. Han goes first. Leia follows. And Luke is the last to kick the bucket. Emperor's comeback also makes sense. Somewhat. The ending makes even more sense. Kylo (Ben). Rey. Finn. Reunited. They re-build the Resistance. And also teach a new philosophy of Balanced approach. Neither giving in to the dark side. Nor being blinded only by the light side. A new way forward. Led by the Skywalker genes through the combination of an Organa and a Solo in a new temple. Finn and Rey profess love for one another. And the last scene is her burying the force ghost's sabers in the ground until they're needed.
Years pass. Dry af desert planet. Rey and Finn are building their home. Random ass desert camel lady passes by asking "I've not seen you around here". . Rey replies "We're new here", as she looks down at her pregnant tummy and Finn working on their home in the distance. "What's your name, my dear?" asks the dry as a stick camel lady. . "Rey. . " comes a quick reply . . "Rey who?" Asks the annoying dust bag old lady. . "Rey Organa" . . Says Rey in a contemplative low voice. . Taking a look back at Finn, she smiles and says with a slight tremble . . "and that's my husband, Finn Solo".. "Rey Organa and Finn Solo, from the Skywalker Clan" . . Says Rey with Utmost confidence now in her voice.. The screen fades to black on a sunkissed Rey's face as she is now looking into the future, sure of the legacy she wants to carry ahead.
ORCHESTRAL MUSIC GETS LOUDER.
FADE TO BLACK on the Two Suns of Tattooine.
2023.06.09 22:49 MaudQuickpaw Help! Dog has become adverse to treats after (failed) nail trim
Alright, now I know I've messed some training up, but I'm looking for help with finding a direction to repair things...
My dog is a terrier with a big memory for stressful situations and we've only had her for a few months. When we adopted her, her nails were very long, and poorly taken care of.
I figured she needed nail maintenance, and jumped way too fast into trying to trim them, and nipped her quick. Now she's deathly afraid of the idea of a nail trim... And, much more problematically, getting treats indoors from me, since we were using treats as a motivator. Now, when I go to do a training session with her, she runs to one of her beds and hides as far from me as possible.
Any suggestions on how I can return value to her treats and help her not be afraid of them? I'm trying to introduce them into her favorite things, like play and belly rubs, but it feels like she still doesn't trust them. She'll take them, but only in her safe space, and she won't do any tricks. She does behave normally on walks, and will do some tricks for no treat, but it's becoming a bit of a wall in training.
We're planning on working on desensitizing her to a grinder instead of clippers, and will work up to it slowly as a part of routine when coming and going from the house. (Wipe paws on towel, listen to grinder, reward) But the treats are the bigger issue.
submitted by MaudQuickpaw to Dogtraining [link] [comments]
My dog is a terrier with a big memory for stressful situations and we've only had her for a few months. When we adopted her, her nails were very long, and poorly taken care of.
I figured she needed nail maintenance, and jumped way too fast into trying to trim them, and nipped her quick. Now she's deathly afraid of the idea of a nail trim... And, much more problematically, getting treats indoors from me, since we were using treats as a motivator. Now, when I go to do a training session with her, she runs to one of her beds and hides as far from me as possible.
Any suggestions on how I can return value to her treats and help her not be afraid of them? I'm trying to introduce them into her favorite things, like play and belly rubs, but it feels like she still doesn't trust them. She'll take them, but only in her safe space, and she won't do any tricks. She does behave normally on walks, and will do some tricks for no treat, but it's becoming a bit of a wall in training.
We're planning on working on desensitizing her to a grinder instead of clippers, and will work up to it slowly as a part of routine when coming and going from the house. (Wipe paws on towel, listen to grinder, reward) But the treats are the bigger issue.
2023.06.09 22:39 RockleyBob Just how uncomfortable are closed-cell foam sleeping pads?
So I'm preparing for a tru-hike of the JMT and I'm reassessing my gear load-out.
I've been using Therm-a-Rest UL air pads ever since I started backpacking, and even though I've never really gotten good sleep while in the backcountry, I've never questioned them. It seems like they're universally considered to be superior to closed-cell foam or self-inflating options.
In general, I just don't tend to get good sleep while camping. I tend to wake up every couple of hours, and I'm always readjusting for temperature and position. I'm pretty sensitive to sounds and I'm a side sleeper so I frequently find that I have to arrange myself just right on the pad to feel secure.
So I'm wondering if maybe since my sleep sucks anyway, maybe it's worth reconsidering the foam pads. Here's how I see it:
The obvious huge "pro" in the air pad's column is that they're thicker. If you have to lay on a rocky surface, you're going to feel that through a foam pad and there's no getting around it.
The counter to this is that I'm always having to position myself on top of the pad. As a side sleeper, the added thickness is nice but it's always a conscious effort to keep myself from sliding off in the night, and yes I have a sleeping bag with a "bra" that slips over the pad, but it's still an issue.
Another plus for the air pads is R-rating. They're certainly better insulation from the cold ground. However, this may or may not be a big factor depending on the season and area you wish to hike.
Finally, the last given "pro" for aid pads is their pack size. In the past, I would see hikers with their giant foam accordion and think it looked so bulky and annoying, but I'm not so sure. It's so light, does it really bother you all that much when strapped to the outside of your pack? Especially if you're not doing lots of scrambles or in dense brush?
Don't get me wrong, added padding, more warmth, and smaller pack size are nothing to sneeze at. But there's a ton of upsides to a simple foam mat:
A big one, I've realized, is being able to sit on it during times when you're not sleeping. There's so many times when I've wanted to sit down or splay out on the ground and can't. Having a readily available pad that I can throw down at any point seems really, really handy.
No set-up. Inflating your pad when you're tired and you just want to cook food or collapse after a long day just, well, blows. Being able to throw your pad down seems awesome.
No holes. We've all heard horror stories of pads deflating mid-trip, or frustratingly losing air over the course of the night so that by morning, you're basically sleeping on the ground. Luckily, this hasn't happened to me yet, but it makes me very wary of using my expensive air pads on big trips once they get past a certain age. Be blowing into them, you pump them full of moisture that eventually accumulates and helps to de-laminate the interior. For this reason, I find myself replacing my air pads every 3-4 years just because I don't want to risk a failure on the trail.
Which brings me to another downside: cost. Air pads are more expensive.
So, all this is to say, if I'm hiking in warmer months (albeit in this instance at high altitude with cold nights) and I'm generally not getting good sleep anyway, what do I have to lose? The difference seems to come down to comfort. Are foam pads that much worse in your opinion?
submitted by RockleyBob to WildernessBackpacking [link] [comments]
I've been using Therm-a-Rest UL air pads ever since I started backpacking, and even though I've never really gotten good sleep while in the backcountry, I've never questioned them. It seems like they're universally considered to be superior to closed-cell foam or self-inflating options.
In general, I just don't tend to get good sleep while camping. I tend to wake up every couple of hours, and I'm always readjusting for temperature and position. I'm pretty sensitive to sounds and I'm a side sleeper so I frequently find that I have to arrange myself just right on the pad to feel secure.
So I'm wondering if maybe since my sleep sucks anyway, maybe it's worth reconsidering the foam pads. Here's how I see it:
The obvious huge "pro" in the air pad's column is that they're thicker. If you have to lay on a rocky surface, you're going to feel that through a foam pad and there's no getting around it.
The counter to this is that I'm always having to position myself on top of the pad. As a side sleeper, the added thickness is nice but it's always a conscious effort to keep myself from sliding off in the night, and yes I have a sleeping bag with a "bra" that slips over the pad, but it's still an issue.
Another plus for the air pads is R-rating. They're certainly better insulation from the cold ground. However, this may or may not be a big factor depending on the season and area you wish to hike.
Finally, the last given "pro" for aid pads is their pack size. In the past, I would see hikers with their giant foam accordion and think it looked so bulky and annoying, but I'm not so sure. It's so light, does it really bother you all that much when strapped to the outside of your pack? Especially if you're not doing lots of scrambles or in dense brush?
Don't get me wrong, added padding, more warmth, and smaller pack size are nothing to sneeze at. But there's a ton of upsides to a simple foam mat:
A big one, I've realized, is being able to sit on it during times when you're not sleeping. There's so many times when I've wanted to sit down or splay out on the ground and can't. Having a readily available pad that I can throw down at any point seems really, really handy.
No set-up. Inflating your pad when you're tired and you just want to cook food or collapse after a long day just, well, blows. Being able to throw your pad down seems awesome.
No holes. We've all heard horror stories of pads deflating mid-trip, or frustratingly losing air over the course of the night so that by morning, you're basically sleeping on the ground. Luckily, this hasn't happened to me yet, but it makes me very wary of using my expensive air pads on big trips once they get past a certain age. Be blowing into them, you pump them full of moisture that eventually accumulates and helps to de-laminate the interior. For this reason, I find myself replacing my air pads every 3-4 years just because I don't want to risk a failure on the trail.
Which brings me to another downside: cost. Air pads are more expensive.
So, all this is to say, if I'm hiking in warmer months (albeit in this instance at high altitude with cold nights) and I'm generally not getting good sleep anyway, what do I have to lose? The difference seems to come down to comfort. Are foam pads that much worse in your opinion?
2023.06.09 22:35 Sufficient_Career713 You never think it will happen to you: A Labor Story
CW: Birth Trauma, Medical Trauma, NICU Parent, PPD, and boundless joy
Hi all, FTM (35F) of a wonderful, perfect 3 month old baby girl.
This will be a long post but I wanted to write somethings down for my own processing and to simply share some of the things that we've gone through since LO arrived. My intention is not to scare or trigger anyone but rather share my story in the hopes that others might find some normalcy and support.
If you're anything like me I was scouring the internet prior to delivery. LO was ultimately delivered at 41w1d and I was HUGE. I'm 5'3" and I had gained over 50 lbs almost entirely in my belly. I was curb walking as much as possible and I did all of the things - eating dates, raspberry tea, exercises, stretches - anything to get baby to come on her own. I was having contractions for weeeeeks but nothing that ever escalated into true labor. I was exhausted despite my entire pregnancy being pretty textbook. There were no red flags at any point despite having done all of the standard tests and ultrasounds. Everything was pointing towards an easy delivery and healthy baby.
I was very done with pregnancy and, against my original plans (a theme), I decided to get induced. Went into the hospital on the evening of Feb 27 and had cervidil (sp??). It's supposedly more chill than pitocin. Things started happening around the morning of Feb 28. I was having real contractions and things were moving! The midwives were stoked that I responded so favorably without pitocin. Then things really started to ramp up. I was in triage waiting to be transferred to L&D (another theme) and was having really intense contractions. I finally (against what I had initially wanted) decided to take a narcotic. I needed a break and I was many hours away from full dilation plus I couldn't get an epidural until I was in L&D. Oof huge mistake. My contractions were just as intense as ever except during the in between I was having hallucinations. Luckily I had experienced drugs similar before so I knew what was going on but it worried my partner a lot (another theme). At this point I'm vomiting, my nurse is trying to get me transferred asap, my doula shows up and is trying to help me, and I'm wavering between screaming pain and having wild (and hilarious?) hallucinations.
Finally I'm cleared to transfer to L&D. Puke cup in hand, my nurse is running with me barely sitting in a wheelchair. I was so hot at that point that I remember it felt like a welcomed cool breeze. Partner is chasing behind us with far too many pieces of luggage in tow. We burst in the room and I was demanding to sit on the toilet but mostly was so blinded by pain I didn't really know what was going on or what I needed. Once again the doulas did their best to help me calm down and get through it. One of the nurses looked me dead in the eyes and was like "You can sit on that toilet but DO NOT push." I'm like 6 centimeters at this point and I couldn't believe the sensations pulsing through my body. I had wanted to wait for an epidural but I knew then that I needed it asap. I was able to miraculously sit still and felt the numbing cold take over. It was amazing. The next few hours were spent hanging out and getting to know the doulas. The nurse told me that my contractions were off the charts. Apparently they were lasting for two minutes and were shaped like a plateau instead of a gentle curve. My midwives were great and everyone was very encouraging and happy with my progress. I was almost fully dilated and we decided to burst my waters.
I was excited. There was A LOT of amniotic fluid. Unfortunately it was brown which indicated that baby had passed meconium which, given how over due I was, wasn't out of the ordinary. It also meant that NICU staff would be present for the delivery once the time came. I was finally ready to start pushing. Minutes turned into hours. My baby's head was through my cervix but she seemed stuck. 4 hours went by with no progress so we made the difficult decision to have a C section. It would be another 2 hours before an OR would open up so I just had to wait. By this point the epidural was wearing off and I was having break through contractions but I couldn't do anything with them because we knew the baby wasn't coming any other way.
This is where things really go south so stop reading if you need to <3.
Once I'm finally in the OR it's like 4AM. I'm strapped and straddled on the operating table and I can't stop shaking. It was terrifying. My partner is there with me but all I remember is fear. I also remember double checking with my nurse that NICU staff was in the room. The surgeons then test to see that I've had enough anesthesia which I hadn't so they had to give me fentanyl so things could get a move on. Eventually I felt no pain, just the movement of the procedure. I was laying there waiting to hear my baby's cries and to finally have her on my chest. I felt a lot of movement in my abdomen and I remember asking "Is that the baby? Is she dancing?" and the anesthesiologist said "No they're delivering your placenta and performing a fundal massage to prevent hemorrhage." This is when I knew something was really wrong. Those are the things they do after the baby's been born but I didn't hear my baby nor did I see her. I begin asking what's going on, I ask my partner if he can see her. He can't. All he can see is a lot of movement from different doctors. They finally tell us that she needs to be admitted to the NICU. I ask to at least see her and she's wheeled by me in a bassinet already swaddled and en route. We found out much later (when we were ready to hear what happened) that when she was born she had aspirated a lot of meconium and wasn't breathing. Her APGAR score was a 3. She was immediately intubated and it took around 10 minutes to resuscitate her (miraculously she didn't suffer brain damage).
Afterwards we were taken into a recovery room. We had been awake for over 24 hours at this point and were exhausted, devastated, and confused. We didn't know what happened and were waiting for news while I had to endure more fundal massages. A NICU doctor came to my bedside to inform us that they suspected she has having seizures, was at high risk of a blood infection, and may have some kind of genetic issue. We were in hysterics. Just totally beside ourselves. The nurses that had been with us came to say goodbye with tears in their eyes. They knew we had been traumatized and I think they may have been too.
They told us they were waiting for a postpartum room near the NICU to open up so we were just waiting. At this point, my baby was still very abstract to me. I was much more concerned about my very exhausted partner who had witnessed all of the trauma that happened. And was still carrying all of our stupid bags that I had packed. I sent him to the NICU to go see the baby. She was on oxygen and in an incubator. Her face was swollen from being stuck in the birth canal for 6 hours. I got to see her a few hours later but I could only touch her cheek. As I was leaving she was being hooked up to an EEG to check for seizures. We finally, after many hours, were moved into our postpartum room where I insisted we both take a nap before returning to the NICU. By this point we had delivered the news to our friends and families and let people know to please not reach out. It's hard to communicate the complexity of feelings we had. It was so devastating yet he and I felt so bonded together. Nothing else mattered but the three of us.
I'm told the weather was beautiful that day. I hadn't even considered a world existed outside of us. I didn't remember an outside until days had gone by. He pushed me in my wheelchair to get some food one morning and I saw the sun. I didn't remember there was a sun or that other people were just going about their days.
While LO was in the NICU she had every test under the sun and all of them kept coming back favorably. She wasn't having seizures, her brain looked great, her heart looked great, etc. Except there was still a question of a possible genetic issue but no one knew for sure. Her eyes were bulging but it could have been because of birth trauma or she just sort of looked like that. It wasn't until she had her hearing test that something went wrong again. I found solace in knowing failed hearing tests are pretty common and we'd just have to wait to meet with an audiologist for confirmation. During our stay I became a breast pumping machine. It was the only thing I could do on my own to help. I was immobilized from the C section and I felt so very hopeless that pumping was the one thing that gave me some satisfaction. LO had a significant tongue tie so latching proved impossible. My partner bonded with the baby immediately - he did the bulk of her care while in the NICU. For me, however, it took time. It's hard to admit but if I'm being honest it took me a few weeks to really fall in love and bond with her. I think part of it was the delivery and because I wasn't physically able to do the bulk of her care in the NICU. Also, I was in a grieving period. I was grieving the labor experience I hoped for and I was grieving the child I thought I was going to have.
After 5 incredibly long yet miraculous days we were both discharged together. We had a long list of follow up appointments but we didn't care. We were going home and it was a beautiful day. We laugh/cried the whole way home.
Close friends and both of our parents were there when we arrived home with an overwhelming amount of food. We were grateful. But also, hearing the excitement from others was really difficult for a long time. It took awhile for us to appreciate being congratulated. It felt like a stab every time.
That first week we had a number of doctors appointments. When she went to get her tongue tie snipped, her ENT discovered that she didn't have ear canals. Her external ear was fully formed but her middle ear was a closed pit. There were a lot of tears that day. It was the first time something was decidedly "wrong" and it was the first time there was a strong hint towards a genetic issue.
I don't remember the sequence of events and diagnoses - it was an emotional whirlwind. We learned that she has two chromosomal deletions of which the symptoms and severity vary greatly and we won't know the full extent of her disabilities for years. She does have conductive hearing loss (though I generally say she's deaf because its true and its a little easier to explain) and will be receiving a bone anchored hearing aid (BAHA). We're also invested in learning ASL so that she will have access to both spoken and signed language. She has strabismus (lazy eye) and ptosis (droopy eye) as well as craniosynostosis. She will be undergoing intense skull surgery later this year. Despite all of this she is thriving.
During the early weeks of postpartum I was not well. My partner had no time off and my family, while good intentioned, didn't really know how to talk about or meaningfully support a special needs child. It became clear that I needed some medical intervention so I enrolled in intensive therapy and began taking SSRIs. It may have saved our lives. I was not well and I knew it. I was struggling to bond and I was so devastated by her health outlook on top of all the normal lack of sleep, breast pumping stress, and lack of familial support that I needed to actively make a change. I did and I'm glad for it. I'm in a much better place now!
The love and joy I feel towards my child is unbelievable. People say that children bring joy to your life and it's really true. I love her with my whole heart. I am and will probably always be saddened by some of the trials she will be forced to endure in this world - her life will not be easy. But I am so committed to being at her side every step of the way. I love her totally and completely. Its hard to explain in words the depth of love I have for her. She's not what we imagined but no child ever is. Prior to her being born we always said we'd love and support her no matter who she became and that remains the case.
submitted by Sufficient_Career713 to beyondthebump [link] [comments]
Hi all, FTM (35F) of a wonderful, perfect 3 month old baby girl.
This will be a long post but I wanted to write somethings down for my own processing and to simply share some of the things that we've gone through since LO arrived. My intention is not to scare or trigger anyone but rather share my story in the hopes that others might find some normalcy and support.
If you're anything like me I was scouring the internet prior to delivery. LO was ultimately delivered at 41w1d and I was HUGE. I'm 5'3" and I had gained over 50 lbs almost entirely in my belly. I was curb walking as much as possible and I did all of the things - eating dates, raspberry tea, exercises, stretches - anything to get baby to come on her own. I was having contractions for weeeeeks but nothing that ever escalated into true labor. I was exhausted despite my entire pregnancy being pretty textbook. There were no red flags at any point despite having done all of the standard tests and ultrasounds. Everything was pointing towards an easy delivery and healthy baby.
I was very done with pregnancy and, against my original plans (a theme), I decided to get induced. Went into the hospital on the evening of Feb 27 and had cervidil (sp??). It's supposedly more chill than pitocin. Things started happening around the morning of Feb 28. I was having real contractions and things were moving! The midwives were stoked that I responded so favorably without pitocin. Then things really started to ramp up. I was in triage waiting to be transferred to L&D (another theme) and was having really intense contractions. I finally (against what I had initially wanted) decided to take a narcotic. I needed a break and I was many hours away from full dilation plus I couldn't get an epidural until I was in L&D. Oof huge mistake. My contractions were just as intense as ever except during the in between I was having hallucinations. Luckily I had experienced drugs similar before so I knew what was going on but it worried my partner a lot (another theme). At this point I'm vomiting, my nurse is trying to get me transferred asap, my doula shows up and is trying to help me, and I'm wavering between screaming pain and having wild (and hilarious?) hallucinations.
Finally I'm cleared to transfer to L&D. Puke cup in hand, my nurse is running with me barely sitting in a wheelchair. I was so hot at that point that I remember it felt like a welcomed cool breeze. Partner is chasing behind us with far too many pieces of luggage in tow. We burst in the room and I was demanding to sit on the toilet but mostly was so blinded by pain I didn't really know what was going on or what I needed. Once again the doulas did their best to help me calm down and get through it. One of the nurses looked me dead in the eyes and was like "You can sit on that toilet but DO NOT push." I'm like 6 centimeters at this point and I couldn't believe the sensations pulsing through my body. I had wanted to wait for an epidural but I knew then that I needed it asap. I was able to miraculously sit still and felt the numbing cold take over. It was amazing. The next few hours were spent hanging out and getting to know the doulas. The nurse told me that my contractions were off the charts. Apparently they were lasting for two minutes and were shaped like a plateau instead of a gentle curve. My midwives were great and everyone was very encouraging and happy with my progress. I was almost fully dilated and we decided to burst my waters.
I was excited. There was A LOT of amniotic fluid. Unfortunately it was brown which indicated that baby had passed meconium which, given how over due I was, wasn't out of the ordinary. It also meant that NICU staff would be present for the delivery once the time came. I was finally ready to start pushing. Minutes turned into hours. My baby's head was through my cervix but she seemed stuck. 4 hours went by with no progress so we made the difficult decision to have a C section. It would be another 2 hours before an OR would open up so I just had to wait. By this point the epidural was wearing off and I was having break through contractions but I couldn't do anything with them because we knew the baby wasn't coming any other way.
This is where things really go south so stop reading if you need to <3.
Once I'm finally in the OR it's like 4AM. I'm strapped and straddled on the operating table and I can't stop shaking. It was terrifying. My partner is there with me but all I remember is fear. I also remember double checking with my nurse that NICU staff was in the room. The surgeons then test to see that I've had enough anesthesia which I hadn't so they had to give me fentanyl so things could get a move on. Eventually I felt no pain, just the movement of the procedure. I was laying there waiting to hear my baby's cries and to finally have her on my chest. I felt a lot of movement in my abdomen and I remember asking "Is that the baby? Is she dancing?" and the anesthesiologist said "No they're delivering your placenta and performing a fundal massage to prevent hemorrhage." This is when I knew something was really wrong. Those are the things they do after the baby's been born but I didn't hear my baby nor did I see her. I begin asking what's going on, I ask my partner if he can see her. He can't. All he can see is a lot of movement from different doctors. They finally tell us that she needs to be admitted to the NICU. I ask to at least see her and she's wheeled by me in a bassinet already swaddled and en route. We found out much later (when we were ready to hear what happened) that when she was born she had aspirated a lot of meconium and wasn't breathing. Her APGAR score was a 3. She was immediately intubated and it took around 10 minutes to resuscitate her (miraculously she didn't suffer brain damage).
Afterwards we were taken into a recovery room. We had been awake for over 24 hours at this point and were exhausted, devastated, and confused. We didn't know what happened and were waiting for news while I had to endure more fundal massages. A NICU doctor came to my bedside to inform us that they suspected she has having seizures, was at high risk of a blood infection, and may have some kind of genetic issue. We were in hysterics. Just totally beside ourselves. The nurses that had been with us came to say goodbye with tears in their eyes. They knew we had been traumatized and I think they may have been too.
They told us they were waiting for a postpartum room near the NICU to open up so we were just waiting. At this point, my baby was still very abstract to me. I was much more concerned about my very exhausted partner who had witnessed all of the trauma that happened. And was still carrying all of our stupid bags that I had packed. I sent him to the NICU to go see the baby. She was on oxygen and in an incubator. Her face was swollen from being stuck in the birth canal for 6 hours. I got to see her a few hours later but I could only touch her cheek. As I was leaving she was being hooked up to an EEG to check for seizures. We finally, after many hours, were moved into our postpartum room where I insisted we both take a nap before returning to the NICU. By this point we had delivered the news to our friends and families and let people know to please not reach out. It's hard to communicate the complexity of feelings we had. It was so devastating yet he and I felt so bonded together. Nothing else mattered but the three of us.
I'm told the weather was beautiful that day. I hadn't even considered a world existed outside of us. I didn't remember an outside until days had gone by. He pushed me in my wheelchair to get some food one morning and I saw the sun. I didn't remember there was a sun or that other people were just going about their days.
While LO was in the NICU she had every test under the sun and all of them kept coming back favorably. She wasn't having seizures, her brain looked great, her heart looked great, etc. Except there was still a question of a possible genetic issue but no one knew for sure. Her eyes were bulging but it could have been because of birth trauma or she just sort of looked like that. It wasn't until she had her hearing test that something went wrong again. I found solace in knowing failed hearing tests are pretty common and we'd just have to wait to meet with an audiologist for confirmation. During our stay I became a breast pumping machine. It was the only thing I could do on my own to help. I was immobilized from the C section and I felt so very hopeless that pumping was the one thing that gave me some satisfaction. LO had a significant tongue tie so latching proved impossible. My partner bonded with the baby immediately - he did the bulk of her care while in the NICU. For me, however, it took time. It's hard to admit but if I'm being honest it took me a few weeks to really fall in love and bond with her. I think part of it was the delivery and because I wasn't physically able to do the bulk of her care in the NICU. Also, I was in a grieving period. I was grieving the labor experience I hoped for and I was grieving the child I thought I was going to have.
After 5 incredibly long yet miraculous days we were both discharged together. We had a long list of follow up appointments but we didn't care. We were going home and it was a beautiful day. We laugh/cried the whole way home.
Close friends and both of our parents were there when we arrived home with an overwhelming amount of food. We were grateful. But also, hearing the excitement from others was really difficult for a long time. It took awhile for us to appreciate being congratulated. It felt like a stab every time.
That first week we had a number of doctors appointments. When she went to get her tongue tie snipped, her ENT discovered that she didn't have ear canals. Her external ear was fully formed but her middle ear was a closed pit. There were a lot of tears that day. It was the first time something was decidedly "wrong" and it was the first time there was a strong hint towards a genetic issue.
I don't remember the sequence of events and diagnoses - it was an emotional whirlwind. We learned that she has two chromosomal deletions of which the symptoms and severity vary greatly and we won't know the full extent of her disabilities for years. She does have conductive hearing loss (though I generally say she's deaf because its true and its a little easier to explain) and will be receiving a bone anchored hearing aid (BAHA). We're also invested in learning ASL so that she will have access to both spoken and signed language. She has strabismus (lazy eye) and ptosis (droopy eye) as well as craniosynostosis. She will be undergoing intense skull surgery later this year. Despite all of this she is thriving.
During the early weeks of postpartum I was not well. My partner had no time off and my family, while good intentioned, didn't really know how to talk about or meaningfully support a special needs child. It became clear that I needed some medical intervention so I enrolled in intensive therapy and began taking SSRIs. It may have saved our lives. I was not well and I knew it. I was struggling to bond and I was so devastated by her health outlook on top of all the normal lack of sleep, breast pumping stress, and lack of familial support that I needed to actively make a change. I did and I'm glad for it. I'm in a much better place now!
The love and joy I feel towards my child is unbelievable. People say that children bring joy to your life and it's really true. I love her with my whole heart. I am and will probably always be saddened by some of the trials she will be forced to endure in this world - her life will not be easy. But I am so committed to being at her side every step of the way. I love her totally and completely. Its hard to explain in words the depth of love I have for her. She's not what we imagined but no child ever is. Prior to her being born we always said we'd love and support her no matter who she became and that remains the case.
2023.06.09 22:30 camtheking2 Scooter Repair in Chicago
Does anyone know of a good place to get repairs in Chicago? I reached out to Electricscooterchicago.com but they havent responded.
submitted by camtheking2 to ElectricScooters [link] [comments]
2023.06.09 22:30 eddie904 Mastectomy last month for Male Breast Cancer - chances of Pact Approval? What rating?
Background - I served in the US Navy for 6 years in the 90s and I did a deployment to the Persian Gulf with a carrier battlegroup USS Lincoln. No VA rating.
Last month, I had a simple mastectomy to remove a stage 1a breast cancer. After the surgery, my dad (100% rating) told me about the Pact Act and I should apply.
If I do apply, it appears I would be eligible for 100% temporary rating for six months for having an active cancer. My DD214 does not show the port visits in the Jebel Ali, UAE but I do have the Southwest Asia Service Medal. Sidenote - our ship collided with the carrier so was definitely inport a lot for repairs.
?s - just having breast cancer enough to presume it's service connected with my deployment in the Gulf under the Pact Act? Is 100% rating right for my situation? And what are the chances of an active cancer being approved 28 years later? Is it worth it to apply?
Your knowledge and claim experiences would be greatly appreciated!
submitted by eddie904 to VeteransBenefits [link] [comments]
Last month, I had a simple mastectomy to remove a stage 1a breast cancer. After the surgery, my dad (100% rating) told me about the Pact Act and I should apply.
If I do apply, it appears I would be eligible for 100% temporary rating for six months for having an active cancer. My DD214 does not show the port visits in the Jebel Ali, UAE but I do have the Southwest Asia Service Medal. Sidenote - our ship collided with the carrier so was definitely inport a lot for repairs.
?s - just having breast cancer enough to presume it's service connected with my deployment in the Gulf under the Pact Act? Is 100% rating right for my situation? And what are the chances of an active cancer being approved 28 years later? Is it worth it to apply?
Your knowledge and claim experiences would be greatly appreciated!
2023.06.09 22:29 AssociatePrimary2953 Switching to adult food/ low allergen food
Hi all,
I was wondering if you had recommendations on both dog food brands, what to look out for concerining allergies and when to switch to adult dog food. I have a female mutt who is about 10 months old, altough we really dont know her real age. I got her about 3 months ago and she hardly grew, but filled out a lot in girth and gained about 5kg (from 12 to 17). She looks to be a healthy weight and was probably a bit underweight when I adopted her. At first I fed her purina dog chow puppy, but after the first bag I switched her to diamond puppy food (the purple one). She never had firm stool, usually its like a soft ice consistency (sorry for the slightly horrible comparison). She also eats a lot of grass, so I think she might be missing some fibre, but she does not take to veggies and leaves them if I add some to her food. She had to eat rice and cooked chicken for a few days after she got spayed, but that did not change the consistency of her stool. The vet said she might have some allergies, as her skin is slightly pink and she likes to rub on walls and rolls endlessly in the sand at the beach. I am wondering if I should try a chicken free diet and if I should try switching her to adult food even though she is still a bit young? She was very food obsessed when I got her, but lately she always leaves some food in her bowl and doesnt always take treats. I am not sure if thats due to the very hot weather, or because the food upsets her stomach. Otherwise she seems happy and healthy. A raw diet is not an option as I don't have access to quality raw ingredients. Thanks for your input!
submitted by AssociatePrimary2953 to puppy101 [link] [comments]
I was wondering if you had recommendations on both dog food brands, what to look out for concerining allergies and when to switch to adult dog food. I have a female mutt who is about 10 months old, altough we really dont know her real age. I got her about 3 months ago and she hardly grew, but filled out a lot in girth and gained about 5kg (from 12 to 17). She looks to be a healthy weight and was probably a bit underweight when I adopted her. At first I fed her purina dog chow puppy, but after the first bag I switched her to diamond puppy food (the purple one). She never had firm stool, usually its like a soft ice consistency (sorry for the slightly horrible comparison). She also eats a lot of grass, so I think she might be missing some fibre, but she does not take to veggies and leaves them if I add some to her food. She had to eat rice and cooked chicken for a few days after she got spayed, but that did not change the consistency of her stool. The vet said she might have some allergies, as her skin is slightly pink and she likes to rub on walls and rolls endlessly in the sand at the beach. I am wondering if I should try a chicken free diet and if I should try switching her to adult food even though she is still a bit young? She was very food obsessed when I got her, but lately she always leaves some food in her bowl and doesnt always take treats. I am not sure if thats due to the very hot weather, or because the food upsets her stomach. Otherwise she seems happy and healthy. A raw diet is not an option as I don't have access to quality raw ingredients. Thanks for your input!
2023.06.09 22:29 InofunI Got t boned
 | Got t boned today in my nissan kicks. Waiting on the estimate but does this look like it's written off worthy to you?(wondering if I should spend the weekend looking at replacement vehichles) last 2 pics are showing the uneven gaps on either side of the trunk. Passenger curtain and chair air bags deployed. submitted by InofunI to Nissan [link] [comments] |
2023.06.09 22:25 Schizobutt After an exhibit, where does the art go?
I work for a really small art school with a public gallery. We mainly hold exhibits that show chase student work. Once the exhibit is over and we are transitioning to the next show, we contact the artists to collect their work. Now some of it gets sold and goes to the buyer. Some of it moves to a new exhibit. Some is picked up by the artist and the rest is abandoned. The abandoned work is stored for about 6 months. But we can’t store too much work. We don’t have the space to be a storage unit. So, end up donating some of it to locals. But the stuff no one wants gets tossed….
This has really gotten to me when it comes to viewing art at other galleries or even online. You see it all the time were people have a hard time selling some work. Galleries tend to be a very nitch market as the price tend to be in the hundreds or higher. On average we sell maybe one piece out of 50 on display and I currently have a large pile of work from the last show being stored behind my desk that I feel is going to get disposed of. As an illustrator in my own right, its a real motivation killer to see stuff get created just to be turned into landfill.
There was an exhibit a few months back that had to do with plastic waste. The art displayed in this exhibit was made out of plastic waste like bags, bottles, nets and such…. What happens to all that when the show is over? It’s hard to recycle stuff like that as it’s being held together with non-recyclable material and American products have a bad habit of being hard to recycle anyway. Does it just get turned into plastic waste? If that’s the case, what was the point of the show?
These thoughts have plagued my brain so badly that most of what I see looks like legitamet landfill at this point. It could even be a piece I like but it still just looks like future landfill. This is killing my ability to illustrate, which I’ve done since I was kid. I’ve built my whole being around learning art, developing skills and sharing the skill. This these feelings, I don’t know what to do with myself.
Any words of advice?
submitted by Schizobutt to ArtistLounge [link] [comments]
This has really gotten to me when it comes to viewing art at other galleries or even online. You see it all the time were people have a hard time selling some work. Galleries tend to be a very nitch market as the price tend to be in the hundreds or higher. On average we sell maybe one piece out of 50 on display and I currently have a large pile of work from the last show being stored behind my desk that I feel is going to get disposed of. As an illustrator in my own right, its a real motivation killer to see stuff get created just to be turned into landfill.
There was an exhibit a few months back that had to do with plastic waste. The art displayed in this exhibit was made out of plastic waste like bags, bottles, nets and such…. What happens to all that when the show is over? It’s hard to recycle stuff like that as it’s being held together with non-recyclable material and American products have a bad habit of being hard to recycle anyway. Does it just get turned into plastic waste? If that’s the case, what was the point of the show?
These thoughts have plagued my brain so badly that most of what I see looks like legitamet landfill at this point. It could even be a piece I like but it still just looks like future landfill. This is killing my ability to illustrate, which I’ve done since I was kid. I’ve built my whole being around learning art, developing skills and sharing the skill. This these feelings, I don’t know what to do with myself.
Any words of advice?
2023.06.09 22:24 Fighting_Uruk-Hai Does anyone else leave this on their bag?
 | My buddy calls it the bag foreskin and gives me grief for using it. But it stops clubs sliding out when being transported so I like it. submitted by Fighting_Uruk-Hai to golf [link] [comments] |
2023.06.09 22:17 SafeerQ Dealer Lead Times
 | About 5 weeks ago I noticed that I had a slight bend in my front rim (photo). While that sucks, I opted for the Wheel & Tire insurance package when purchasing my bike given that roads in the NE United States are terrible. submitted by SafeerQ to Triumph [link] [comments] After dropping my bike off to the dealer for a resolution, I found out that the third party insurance approved a repair, not an outright replacement. No problem - I reached out to my service department and they agreed to order a new rim at no cost to me, and would deal with the third party insurance after the fact. It’s been about 12 days since that replacement was approved, with a few polite follow up calls to the service department to check on the status of this in the interim. Does anyone know what the typical lead time is for getting a part like this (NE USA)? |
2023.06.09 22:17 Striker--7 HHG Move Was A Disaster; So Was My Damage Claim
Edit: I did not, in fact, keep this short.
So I performed a HHG move at the beginning of this year and we had some pretty hefty damages; our claim was right around $3.5k.I'm going to attempt to keep this short, but if you need more information for a better response, please ask and I'll respond. This is also developing, as I'm taking the weekend to handle this situation, so I will try to give accurate statements to the best of my ability, but that might change as I investigate further.
I just received an email from the TSP today, and they are offering me $550, which doesn't even remotely come close to the cost of the damages. Out of the 14 items I claimed, only four are being settled. The rest are either claimed to be damaged before shipment and the burden of proof falls to me, or the items were not inventoried because they were packed into boxes with other items.
I also made a big fuckup and did not accurately document the move. My previous PCS was a breeze and I admittingly got complacent. Due diligence was not exercised on my end. Trust me, I'm already beating myself up plenty over this. I will NOT allow this to ever happen again to myself. So I respectfully ask that we move past the responses saying "You should have taken pictures of everything, inventoried the items yourself, checked all the boxes, etc." Next time, they will not be out of my sight for a moment. They will explain and justify every single bit of damage they put on that form. I will be in regular contact with the HHG/Transportation Office. I will record every phone call and video every moment they are interacting with me in my house and while they are moving my items. I will not let them touch a single one of my possessions unless I am watching them like a hawk, and I can accurately refute any and all damages they attempt to hold me liable for.
Needless to say, I'm mad at myself just as much as I'm mad at the TSP because I allowed them to do this to me. So again, I understand I fucked up here.
As for additional information, I started my shipment on a bad note. Our movers refused to install the moving bolts for the washer, and they were asking my wife to help pack. So I called the transportation office and corrected that. Most of our belongings were packed somewhat haphazardly, as my wife described. I was at work the day of the move, so I wasn't able to attend the morning hours of packing. I visually witnessed them throwing stuff in the back of the moving truck with no padding or protection, but I didn't think to take pictures. They seemed pissed at me after that.
When they finished moving, they had us sign the "Household Goods Descriptive Inventory." (I'm fucking pissed about this part) I asked him what all the random symbols meant under "condition at origin" and if he could explain to me what I was signing. He said that it was just a physical description of all of the items that were inventoried, and told me to sign it because I would have a chance to notate any damages when they arrived at the destination. So I looked through all of the inventory and everything looked good. By the way, it was difficult to understand the condition at origin stuff. Literally, it looks like chicken scratch and says "10-9-W-F,ST-SO,F." But my dumbass went ahead and signed, thinking that if something did happen, I'd be able to claim damage at the destination like my mover said I could.
I realize now that I signed away my entire claim by that one dumb action.
Upon arrival, our goods were haphazardly carried up the stairs, getting dropped and scraped along the railing. We had a lot of cosmetic damage, but there were also some items that received physical damage. One or two items were just completely gone. During that time, before I realized the damage that had occurred, our movers asked us if we could get them lunch and they'd pay us back. I didn't have an issue with it, so I went ahead and got food for them for around $60 or so. When we finished up with everything, I was frustrated with the nightstand that they completely broke the front off of, so I was busy documenting that. I admit to being distracted at the time, and that was (again) entirely my fault. They gave us the papers, and I notated the damage to the washedryer (that we had just bought no more than 6 months prior), and the couple of other items that we noticed were damaged. We did not do a complete walkthrough at the time of delivery, opening every single box to check for missing items, which is again my fault. Then signed the paperwork and they left.... and I forgot about the lunch because I was distracted with other stuff at that moment.
Also, when they moved the washer, I asked where they put the moving bolts. They told me they threw them away in the dumpster. Now, when we had our washedryer delivered, the woman who sold us the appliances told us to keep them. I wasn't home at the time, but the installers also conveniently "threw the bolts in the dumpster." Come to find out, those things can go for upwards of a $100 on eBay.
Since I had learned our mistake on that one, I asked the movers what dumpster they threw it in so I could go fish them out. They told me not to worry about it and they brought them to me in under 5mins. (in almost perfect condition, might I add)
So now, I'm going through all the paperwork, learning the code they used for the "Condition at Origin", and I'm discovering that the mover grossly overexaggerated MANY of the damages noted. Some items don't even have damage on them where they claimed. Also, anything packed into a box did not receive an inventory number. So the three monitors that got shipped, free-floating inside the box, did not get an inventory number.
Due to the items not being inventoried, the TSP is claiming that those items were not actually shipped, and they also aren't liable for those damages. To include my wife's $500 Alienware monitor that is now only backlit doesn't display a picture. On that note, the TSP told us (for the monitor specifically) that we needed a professional look at the monitor to give us a quote on the cost of repair. So we went to best buy and asked geek squad to inspect it. Why spend the time and money telling us to get a quote when they never intended on providing settlement for it anyways?!
So here I am, its a Friday night and I'm seeing red. I want to call the TSP and fucking chew them out for their dishonesty and unethical behavior. I wanna call the transportation office for not doing a post-move inspection, and report this. I wanna yell at myself for being so stupid. I want to call my House Reps and Senators to tell them what happened. I want to get a lawyer and start a suit. I want to let my chain of command know, and explain how this shitty situation is affecting my work and home life, adding additional stress. I want to put in a FOIA request to determine the cost of how much the Navy paid this company to move my stuff, and add that to the suit along with providing that information to congress. I am just so. fucking. peeved.
Instead, I'm typing on here to get some wisdom from others who are familiar with similar situations, and get advice for a way forward. While I'm not just going to let this happen to me, I also realize that:
1) I'm probably not in the best headspace to be talking to anyone or making any important decisions right now, and 2) I have no idea what to do, and I feel that if I do decide to go the lawsuit route, it would be a bad decision to continue communications between myself and the TSP without a lawyer present.
Regardless, I'm not done here. I will make sure something will come from this because I'm determined as all hell right now. And it pisses me off that this happens regularly to other Sailors and nobody does anything, so it just gets dismissed. If I can change something to benefit myself and others, then I should make every effort to.
So that being said, what do you guys have for me? What should I do from here? What options do I have? What realistically should I do, and how much of what I said is just emotional nonsense because I'm angry?
I don't plan on communicating with anyone tonight. Instead, I plan on going over every single item on the inventory list, copying down the "condition at origin" section, decoding it, then taking pictures of the items that have "supposed damage." I feel like that's a good start, because (and feel free to tell me if I'm wrong) if I can prove they lied on the inventory sheet, that would be one step to deconstructing everything else they lied about.
I apologize for the long post. If you made it this far, thank you for listening; it's been somewhat calming to just vent. I appreciate any/all help and consideration on this one in advance, and please wish me luck. I'll keeping a regular eye on this post in case I get comments for more detail.
submitted by Striker--7 to navy [link] [comments]
So I performed a HHG move at the beginning of this year and we had some pretty hefty damages; our claim was right around $3.5k.
I just received an email from the TSP today, and they are offering me $550, which doesn't even remotely come close to the cost of the damages. Out of the 14 items I claimed, only four are being settled. The rest are either claimed to be damaged before shipment and the burden of proof falls to me, or the items were not inventoried because they were packed into boxes with other items.
I also made a big fuckup and did not accurately document the move. My previous PCS was a breeze and I admittingly got complacent. Due diligence was not exercised on my end. Trust me, I'm already beating myself up plenty over this. I will NOT allow this to ever happen again to myself. So I respectfully ask that we move past the responses saying "You should have taken pictures of everything, inventoried the items yourself, checked all the boxes, etc." Next time, they will not be out of my sight for a moment. They will explain and justify every single bit of damage they put on that form. I will be in regular contact with the HHG/Transportation Office. I will record every phone call and video every moment they are interacting with me in my house and while they are moving my items. I will not let them touch a single one of my possessions unless I am watching them like a hawk, and I can accurately refute any and all damages they attempt to hold me liable for.
Needless to say, I'm mad at myself just as much as I'm mad at the TSP because I allowed them to do this to me. So again, I understand I fucked up here.
As for additional information, I started my shipment on a bad note. Our movers refused to install the moving bolts for the washer, and they were asking my wife to help pack. So I called the transportation office and corrected that. Most of our belongings were packed somewhat haphazardly, as my wife described. I was at work the day of the move, so I wasn't able to attend the morning hours of packing. I visually witnessed them throwing stuff in the back of the moving truck with no padding or protection, but I didn't think to take pictures. They seemed pissed at me after that.
When they finished moving, they had us sign the "Household Goods Descriptive Inventory." (I'm fucking pissed about this part) I asked him what all the random symbols meant under "condition at origin" and if he could explain to me what I was signing. He said that it was just a physical description of all of the items that were inventoried, and told me to sign it because I would have a chance to notate any damages when they arrived at the destination. So I looked through all of the inventory and everything looked good. By the way, it was difficult to understand the condition at origin stuff. Literally, it looks like chicken scratch and says "10-9-W-F,ST-SO,F." But my dumbass went ahead and signed, thinking that if something did happen, I'd be able to claim damage at the destination like my mover said I could.
I realize now that I signed away my entire claim by that one dumb action.
Upon arrival, our goods were haphazardly carried up the stairs, getting dropped and scraped along the railing. We had a lot of cosmetic damage, but there were also some items that received physical damage. One or two items were just completely gone. During that time, before I realized the damage that had occurred, our movers asked us if we could get them lunch and they'd pay us back. I didn't have an issue with it, so I went ahead and got food for them for around $60 or so. When we finished up with everything, I was frustrated with the nightstand that they completely broke the front off of, so I was busy documenting that. I admit to being distracted at the time, and that was (again) entirely my fault. They gave us the papers, and I notated the damage to the washedryer (that we had just bought no more than 6 months prior), and the couple of other items that we noticed were damaged. We did not do a complete walkthrough at the time of delivery, opening every single box to check for missing items, which is again my fault. Then signed the paperwork and they left.... and I forgot about the lunch because I was distracted with other stuff at that moment.
Also, when they moved the washer, I asked where they put the moving bolts. They told me they threw them away in the dumpster. Now, when we had our washedryer delivered, the woman who sold us the appliances told us to keep them. I wasn't home at the time, but the installers also conveniently "threw the bolts in the dumpster." Come to find out, those things can go for upwards of a $100 on eBay.
Since I had learned our mistake on that one, I asked the movers what dumpster they threw it in so I could go fish them out. They told me not to worry about it and they brought them to me in under 5mins. (in almost perfect condition, might I add)
So now, I'm going through all the paperwork, learning the code they used for the "Condition at Origin", and I'm discovering that the mover grossly overexaggerated MANY of the damages noted. Some items don't even have damage on them where they claimed. Also, anything packed into a box did not receive an inventory number. So the three monitors that got shipped, free-floating inside the box, did not get an inventory number.
Due to the items not being inventoried, the TSP is claiming that those items were not actually shipped, and they also aren't liable for those damages. To include my wife's $500 Alienware monitor that is now only backlit doesn't display a picture. On that note, the TSP told us (for the monitor specifically) that we needed a professional look at the monitor to give us a quote on the cost of repair. So we went to best buy and asked geek squad to inspect it. Why spend the time and money telling us to get a quote when they never intended on providing settlement for it anyways?!
So here I am, its a Friday night and I'm seeing red. I want to call the TSP and fucking chew them out for their dishonesty and unethical behavior. I wanna call the transportation office for not doing a post-move inspection, and report this. I wanna yell at myself for being so stupid. I want to call my House Reps and Senators to tell them what happened. I want to get a lawyer and start a suit. I want to let my chain of command know, and explain how this shitty situation is affecting my work and home life, adding additional stress. I want to put in a FOIA request to determine the cost of how much the Navy paid this company to move my stuff, and add that to the suit along with providing that information to congress. I am just so. fucking. peeved.
Instead, I'm typing on here to get some wisdom from others who are familiar with similar situations, and get advice for a way forward. While I'm not just going to let this happen to me, I also realize that:
1) I'm probably not in the best headspace to be talking to anyone or making any important decisions right now, and 2) I have no idea what to do, and I feel that if I do decide to go the lawsuit route, it would be a bad decision to continue communications between myself and the TSP without a lawyer present.
Regardless, I'm not done here. I will make sure something will come from this because I'm determined as all hell right now. And it pisses me off that this happens regularly to other Sailors and nobody does anything, so it just gets dismissed. If I can change something to benefit myself and others, then I should make every effort to.
So that being said, what do you guys have for me? What should I do from here? What options do I have? What realistically should I do, and how much of what I said is just emotional nonsense because I'm angry?
I don't plan on communicating with anyone tonight. Instead, I plan on going over every single item on the inventory list, copying down the "condition at origin" section, decoding it, then taking pictures of the items that have "supposed damage." I feel like that's a good start, because (and feel free to tell me if I'm wrong) if I can prove they lied on the inventory sheet, that would be one step to deconstructing everything else they lied about.
I apologize for the long post. If you made it this far, thank you for listening; it's been somewhat calming to just vent. I appreciate any/all help and consideration on this one in advance, and please wish me luck. I'll keeping a regular eye on this post in case I get comments for more detail.
2023.06.09 22:16 IDontEvenKnowAny Can I Be Made To Pay For Fire Damage In A Student Accomodation Which I Didnt Cause(UK)
Background for the situation
I live in a large student accomodation tower block in london, i share a flat with 5 people and we have a communal kitchen. Around a month ago at midnight there was a fire in the kitchen, the fire was mostly over the bin bags that were left around the bins in the kitchen, me and one of the other people in my flat grabbed a fire extinguisher and put it out and then evacuated. We never seen an offical report but the night security guard said that the fire bragade thought it was a cigarette that started the fire, me and one of my other flatmates dont smoke im not sure about the 3rd one. Most of the fire damage was on the floor that melted and the wall above was blackened but not burnt through, they replaced a small square of the floor and painted the wall.
Today 2 people from reception knocked on my and 2 other of my flatmates doors who were in the building that night, the other 2 flatmates werent in but they talked to me and said because there was no electrical wires, sockets etc in that part of the wall that the fire had to of been caused by something else, therefore the cost of the repair would be split between the 3 of us, the cost per person i was told was £394 each and that there would be an email sent out to the other 2 flatmates and myself and the ammount that had to be paid would be added to our online account to pay the same way we would for rent.
So i need advice, do i need to pay this?, should i get a lawyer? just need any help, thanks
Attached pictures of the before and after of the fire - https://imgur.com/a/xkEKHvL
submitted by IDontEvenKnowAny to LegalAdviceUK [link] [comments]
I live in a large student accomodation tower block in london, i share a flat with 5 people and we have a communal kitchen. Around a month ago at midnight there was a fire in the kitchen, the fire was mostly over the bin bags that were left around the bins in the kitchen, me and one of the other people in my flat grabbed a fire extinguisher and put it out and then evacuated. We never seen an offical report but the night security guard said that the fire bragade thought it was a cigarette that started the fire, me and one of my other flatmates dont smoke im not sure about the 3rd one. Most of the fire damage was on the floor that melted and the wall above was blackened but not burnt through, they replaced a small square of the floor and painted the wall.
Today 2 people from reception knocked on my and 2 other of my flatmates doors who were in the building that night, the other 2 flatmates werent in but they talked to me and said because there was no electrical wires, sockets etc in that part of the wall that the fire had to of been caused by something else, therefore the cost of the repair would be split between the 3 of us, the cost per person i was told was £394 each and that there would be an email sent out to the other 2 flatmates and myself and the ammount that had to be paid would be added to our online account to pay the same way we would for rent.
So i need advice, do i need to pay this?, should i get a lawyer? just need any help, thanks
Attached pictures of the before and after of the fire - https://imgur.com/a/xkEKHvL
2023.06.09 22:10 DizzyCommunication92 Lock down an iPad while in for repair?
I keep a LOT on my cloud....it's a given lol. Passwords. Card info etc....I have a broken ipad that won't turn on at all though it does charge. Guessing digitizer is killed from the fall.
How caN I "lock down" this dead ipad I know I've used repair places previously and they always want a pin code or password to login I assume to make sure the repair worked completely
Is it enough to "remove it from icloud"? I honestly don't care about losing the Data on it...just don't want the repair guy to be able to login to My saved password sites lol.
submitted by DizzyCommunication92 to privacy [link] [comments]
How caN I "lock down" this dead ipad I know I've used repair places previously and they always want a pin code or password to login I assume to make sure the repair worked completely
Is it enough to "remove it from icloud"? I honestly don't care about losing the Data on it...just don't want the repair guy to be able to login to My saved password sites lol.
2023.06.09 22:01 JRE47 A PvP Analysis on Breaking Swipe Haxorus (June Community Day)
Our first Community Day of the season is here, and it's high time everyone be able to find themselves a shiny (literally!) new HAXORUS at last, don't you think? How does this funky Dragon look now in PvP battles? The answer to that is mostly right here in our Bottom Line Up Front:
GREAT LEAGUE:
Attack: 151 (149 High Stat Product)
Defense: 96 (98 High Stat Product)
HP: 102 (103 High Stat Product)
(Highest Stat Product IVs: 0-14-13, 1499 CP, Level 15.5)
ULTRA LEAGUE:
Attack: 196 (192 High Stat Product)
Defense: 126 (126 High Stat Product)
HP: 129 (133 High Stat Product)
(Highest Stat Product IVs: 1-15-15, 2495 CP, Level 25.5)
MASTER LEAGUE:
Attack: 251
Defense: 157
HP: 166
(Assuming 15-15-15 IVs, CP 4062 at Level 50)
Real quick, because you're more here for the moves than anything. Haxorus is very frail. Like, the best examples I can give of HOW frail are as follows:
But... yeah. Pokemon like this basically require spam to have a chance at making an impact. Thankfully, Haxorus has that in spades, and its new move addition only helps with that, with one of the more interesting movepools in the game!
Fast Moves:
Point is, while Counter is the first move you'll likely consider, this is one of those very rare cases where it may not actually be the best. We'll come back to that.
ᴱ - Exclusive (Community Day) Move
Charge Moves:
The move variety is SO good, in fact, that it can be hard to settle on what to leave out. One choice, however, becomes obvious now. The term "strictly better" is probably overused, even by me, but Breaking Swipe really is strictly better than Dragon Claw, and thus Haxorus itself is strictly better coming out of Community Day than it is going in. So we can safely push Claw off the raft, as it were, just as we did with Rayquaza when it got Breaking Swipe.
So that leaves us with four moves: 35-energy Breaking Swipe and Night Slash, 40-energy Surf, and 65-energy Earthquake.
Now let's start putting those together with the fast moves and see what shakes out! And we're going to go backwards to do it, starting with the league where Hax is most relevant and working down from there.
Anyway, with Breaking Swipe beign a clear upgrade on Dragon Claw, let's see how much of an upgrade. Swapping Swipe in for Claw and leaving all other factors alone leads to a clear improvement with six new wins: Mewtwo with Focus Blast or Shadow Ball (note, however, that Ice Beam M2 wins with Hax having the winning Swipe fully charged but unable to fire), Yveltal, Groudon, Gyarados, and now Snorlax that was formerly one of Counter's few advantages. Amazing what a simple little nerf to the opponent's Attack strength can do for flimsy Pokemon like Haxorus (as it did for Rayquaza too!). In Premier, it's more of the same, with those Gyarados and Snorlax (and Shadow Snorlax) wins cropping up.
Breaking Swipe's indirect buff to Haxorus' bulk actually allows something even more impressive, though. Whereas before, Earthquake wasn't really an option as Hax would often perish before getting to it in a meaningful spot, Breaking Swipe changes all that. It still unfortunately comes up a little short versus the big Steels (including Diagla), and does give up former wins versus Excadrill and Ice Punch Ursaluna, but it can gain Zacian, folks. (At least, without Play Rough.) Just rolls over it with a big Earthquake. Nice! Similarly, it can also beat Primarina this way now (that's likely just for ML Premier, though).
I will note, however, that Counter doesn't see quite the same bump. It IS better than Claw still, and that shows up more in 2v2 shielding (Claw vs Swipe) as multiple Breaking Swipe debuffs add up, but Dragon Tail is still generally better in 1v1 (and 0v0) shielding and still gets my overall vote. Just too many things that Dragon damage is better for than Fighting damage at this level.
So in short, yes, Breaking Swipe is a clear upgrade for Haxorus in Master League and worth pursuing on Community Day for this purpose. It's still not quite on the level of, say, Dragonite or Kyurem or fellow Swiper ("Swiper, no swiping!") Rayquaza, but I think it defintely moves up into a higher tier of Dragon right there among them.
Master League is what most folks are eyeing going into this weekend, but what about elsewhere?
Any better in Master League? Spoiler alert: nah.
Gonna wrap it up right here, as Community Day is FAST approaching, and I have Summer Cup (Ultra) analysis to try to get back to anyway!
Until next time, you can always find me on Twitter with near-daily PvP analysis nuggets or Patreon, if you're feeling extra generous.
Good hunting, folks! Do stay safe out there, and catch you next time, Pokéfriends!
submitted by JRE47 to pokemongo [link] [comments]
B.L.U.F.
- After some clunkers, this has the look of a genuinely GOOD Community Day for PvPers! New move Breaking Swipe is a straight upgrade for Haxorus in ALL Leagues!
- Hax comes with an intriguing movepool already, with two of the very best fast moves in the game AND a varied and effective array of charge moves. There are several ways you can build it, before and still after Community Day... but all of them will now center around Breaking Swipe from here on out.
- Master League Haxorus is not surprisingly your top priority (Hax crosses the important 4000 CP barrier), but don't neglect looking for good ones for lower Leagues as well. Even in Great League, Haxorus does appear to have the sauce to (mostly) overcome its scary glassiness. This is a weekend to hunt for several Haxorus' (Haxoruses? Horoxii? 🤷♂️) if you can!
HAXORUS
Dragon TypeGREAT LEAGUE:
Attack: 151 (149 High Stat Product)
Defense: 96 (98 High Stat Product)
HP: 102 (103 High Stat Product)
(Highest Stat Product IVs: 0-14-13, 1499 CP, Level 15.5)
ULTRA LEAGUE:
Attack: 196 (192 High Stat Product)
Defense: 126 (126 High Stat Product)
HP: 129 (133 High Stat Product)
(Highest Stat Product IVs: 1-15-15, 2495 CP, Level 25.5)
MASTER LEAGUE:
Attack: 251
Defense: 157
HP: 166
(Assuming 15-15-15 IVs, CP 4062 at Level 50)
Real quick, because you're more here for the moves than anything. Haxorus is very frail. Like, the best examples I can give of HOW frail are as follows:
- It has basically the same Attack stat (in Master League) as Therian Landorus, Rayquaza, and Darkrai... but lower bulk than all of them. And NONE of them will ever be labeled as anything close to bulky.
- In Ultra League, the closest comp is Chandelure, with nearly identical Attack and (lack of) bulk.
- And in Great League, Haxorus' total stat product (basically Attack + bulk) is at #807... out of a list 852. It's roughly the same as falls-over-to-a-stiff-breeze Darmanitan, Breloom, and Honchkrow (all of which have a higher stat product than Haxorus!).
But... yeah. Pokemon like this basically require spam to have a chance at making an impact. Thankfully, Haxorus has that in spades, and its new move addition only helps with that, with one of the more interesting movepools in the game!
Fast Moves:
- Counter (Fighting, 4.0 DPT, 3.5 EPT, 1.0 CoolDown)
- Dragon Tail (Dragon, 4.33 DPT, 3.0 EPT, 1.5 CD)
Point is, while Counter is the first move you'll likely consider, this is one of those very rare cases where it may not actually be the best. We'll come back to that.
ᴱ - Exclusive (Community Day) Move
Charge Moves:
- Breaking Swipeᴱ (Dragon, 50 damage, 35 energy, Reduces Opponent Attack -1 Stage)
- Dragon Claw (Dragon, 50 damage, 35 energy)
- Night Slash (Dark, 50 damage, 35 energy, 12.5% Chance to Raise User Attack +2 Stages)
- Surf (Water, 65 damage, 40 energy)
- Earthquake (Ground, 120 damage, 65 energy)
The move variety is SO good, in fact, that it can be hard to settle on what to leave out. One choice, however, becomes obvious now. The term "strictly better" is probably overused, even by me, but Breaking Swipe really is strictly better than Dragon Claw, and thus Haxorus itself is strictly better coming out of Community Day than it is going in. So we can safely push Claw off the raft, as it were, just as we did with Rayquaza when it got Breaking Swipe.
So that leaves us with four moves: 35-energy Breaking Swipe and Night Slash, 40-energy Surf, and 65-energy Earthquake.
Now let's start putting those together with the fast moves and see what shakes out! And we're going to go backwards to do it, starting with the league where Hax is most relevant and working down from there.
MASTER LEAGUE
So for comparison, here is Haxorus' former best in Open Master League, and here is Master League Premier, both running Surf/Dragon Claw. Night Slash isn't too far behind Claw, but the latter is better for overpowering Mamoswine and Machamp (the latter of which resists Night Slash), so Claw gets the nod. ALSO note that I used Dragon Tail there, not Counter. Counter certainly is viable (as good as it is, it would be hard NOT to be viable!), and gets some extra wins versus things like Snorlax and Melmetal with a clear weakness to Fighting damage, but Dragon Tail is needed if you want to beat both Giratinas, Yveltal, and to much better guarantee Garchomp. I lean Tail, but I won't say Counter is "wrong"... just different.Anyway, with Breaking Swipe beign a clear upgrade on Dragon Claw, let's see how much of an upgrade. Swapping Swipe in for Claw and leaving all other factors alone leads to a clear improvement with six new wins: Mewtwo with Focus Blast or Shadow Ball (note, however, that Ice Beam M2 wins with Hax having the winning Swipe fully charged but unable to fire), Yveltal, Groudon, Gyarados, and now Snorlax that was formerly one of Counter's few advantages. Amazing what a simple little nerf to the opponent's Attack strength can do for flimsy Pokemon like Haxorus (as it did for Rayquaza too!). In Premier, it's more of the same, with those Gyarados and Snorlax (and Shadow Snorlax) wins cropping up.
Breaking Swipe's indirect buff to Haxorus' bulk actually allows something even more impressive, though. Whereas before, Earthquake wasn't really an option as Hax would often perish before getting to it in a meaningful spot, Breaking Swipe changes all that. It still unfortunately comes up a little short versus the big Steels (including Diagla), and does give up former wins versus Excadrill and Ice Punch Ursaluna, but it can gain Zacian, folks. (At least, without Play Rough.) Just rolls over it with a big Earthquake. Nice! Similarly, it can also beat Primarina this way now (that's likely just for ML Premier, though).
I will note, however, that Counter doesn't see quite the same bump. It IS better than Claw still, and that shows up more in 2v2 shielding (Claw vs Swipe) as multiple Breaking Swipe debuffs add up, but Dragon Tail is still generally better in 1v1 (and 0v0) shielding and still gets my overall vote. Just too many things that Dragon damage is better for than Fighting damage at this level.
So in short, yes, Breaking Swipe is a clear upgrade for Haxorus in Master League and worth pursuing on Community Day for this purpose. It's still not quite on the level of, say, Dragonite or Kyurem or fellow Swiper ("Swiper, no swiping!") Rayquaza, but I think it defintely moves up into a higher tier of Dragon right there among them.
Master League is what most folks are eyeing going into this weekend, but what about elsewhere?
ULTRA LEAGUE
Similar upgrade here, with Breaking Swipe (this time moreso with Counter... more punchable things at this level than in Master League!) [clearly distancing itself from Dragon Claw... new wins include Swampert, Venusaur, Charizard, Mandibuzz, Guzzlord, Drapion, Golisopod, and of course, Snorlax. (Yeah, CounteClaw/Surf couldn't quite do that before!) Interestingly, it slides backwards in Premier, but in Open? Perhaps it's worth some spice consideration now.Any better in Master League? Spoiler alert: nah.
GREAT LEAGUE
Lots of punchable things down in Great League as well, where Counter Hax is probably already a bit better than you think, at least on paper. Wins against things like Lanturn, Swampert, Galarian Stunfisk, Registeel, Bastiodon, Victreebel, Talonflame, Mandibuzz, Dunsparce, Diggersby, Alolan Sandslash and Walrein catch the eye, but then Breaking Swipe just goes and makes it better with Drapion, Toxicroak, and even Lickitung! And look how far it can now go in 2v2 shielding! Something so fragile shouldn't enjoy that level of success in longer battles like that in Great League, but here we are!IM SUMMATION....
I'm surprised to say it, but I think that Breaking Swipe Haxorus may be worth grinding for in all three Leagues! If I had to rank them, it would be Master first, then Great, and then Ultra, but if you find a candidate with good Ultra League or Great League IVs, evolve it while you can get Breaking Swipe, even if you end up short on candy needed to build them all now. We'll get more Axew candy later this year, right?Gonna wrap it up right here, as Community Day is FAST approaching, and I have Summer Cup (Ultra) analysis to try to get back to anyway!
Until next time, you can always find me on Twitter with near-daily PvP analysis nuggets or Patreon, if you're feeling extra generous.
Good hunting, folks! Do stay safe out there, and catch you next time, Pokéfriends!
2023.06.09 22:00 JRE47 Breaking Swipe Haxorus in PvP (June Community Day)
Our first Community Day of the season is here, and it's high time everyone be able to find themselves a shiny (literally!) new HAXORUS at last, don't you think? How does this funky Dragon look now in PvP battles? The answer to that is mostly right here in our Bottom Line Up Front:
GREAT LEAGUE:
Attack: 151 (149 High Stat Product)
Defense: 96 (98 High Stat Product)
HP: 102 (103 High Stat Product)
(Highest Stat Product IVs: 0-14-13, 1499 CP, Level 15.5)
ULTRA LEAGUE:
Attack: 196 (192 High Stat Product)
Defense: 126 (126 High Stat Product)
HP: 129 (133 High Stat Product)
(Highest Stat Product IVs: 1-15-15, 2495 CP, Level 25.5)
MASTER LEAGUE:
Attack: 251
Defense: 157
HP: 166
(Assuming 15-15-15 IVs, CP 4062 at Level 50)
Real quick, because you're more here for the moves than anything. Haxorus is very frail. Like, the best examples I can give of HOW frail are as follows:
But... yeah. Pokemon like this basically require spam to have a chance at making an impact. Thankfully, Haxorus has that in spades, and its new move addition only helps with that, with one of the more interesting movepools in the game!
Fast Moves:
Point is, while Counter is the first move you'll likely consider, this is one of those very rare cases where it may not actually be the best. We'll come back to that.
ᴱ - Exclusive (Community Day) Move
Charge Moves:
The move variety is SO good, in fact, that it can be hard to settle on what to leave out. One choice, however, becomes obvious now. The term "strictly better" is probably overused, even by me, but Breaking Swipe really is strictly better than Dragon Claw, and thus Haxorus itself is strictly better coming out of Community Day than it is going in. So we can safely push Claw off the raft, as it were, just as we did with Rayquaza when it got Breaking Swipe.
So that leaves us with four moves: 35-energy Breaking Swipe and Night Slash, 40-energy Surf, and 65-energy Earthquake.
Now let's start putting those together with the fast moves and see what shakes out! And we're going to go backwards to do it, starting with the league where Hax is most relevant and working down from there.
Anyway, with Breaking Swipe beign a clear upgrade on Dragon Claw, let's see how much of an upgrade. Swapping Swipe in for Claw and leaving all other factors alone leads to a clear improvement with six new wins: Mewtwo with Focus Blast or Shadow Ball (note, however, that Ice Beam M2 wins with Hax having the winning Swipe fully charged but unable to fire), Yveltal, Groudon, Gyarados, and now Snorlax that was formerly one of Counter's few advantages. Amazing what a simple little nerf to the opponent's Attack strength can do for flimsy Pokemon like Haxorus (as it did for Rayquaza too!). In Premier, it's more of the same, with those Gyarados and Snorlax (and Shadow Snorlax) wins cropping up.
Breaking Swipe's indirect buff to Haxorus' bulk actually allows something even more impressive, though. Whereas before, Earthquake wasn't really an option as Hax would often perish before getting to it in a meaningful spot, Breaking Swipe changes all that. It still unfortunately comes up a little short versus the big Steels (including Diagla), and does give up former wins versus Excadrill and Ice Punch Ursaluna, but it can gain Zacian, folks. (At least, without Play Rough.) Just rolls over it with a big Earthquake. Nice! Similarly, it can also beat Primarina this way now (that's likely just for ML Premier, though).
I will note, however, that Counter doesn't see quite the same bump. It IS better than Claw still, and that shows up more in 2v2 shielding (Claw vs Swipe) as multiple Breaking Swipe debuffs add up, but Dragon Tail is still generally better in 1v1 (and 0v0) shielding and still gets my overall vote. Just too many things that Dragon damage is better for than Fighting damage at this level.
So in short, yes, Breaking Swipe is a clear upgrade for Haxorus in Master League and worth pursuing on Community Day for this purpose. It's still not quite on the level of, say, Dragonite or Kyurem or fellow Swiper ("Swiper, no swiping!") Rayquaza, but I think it defintely moves up into a higher tier of Dragon right there among them.
Master League is what most folks are eyeing going into this weekend, but what about elsewhere?
Any better in Master League? Spoiler alert: nah.
Gonna wrap it up right here, as Community Day is FAST approaching, and I have Summer Cup (Ultra) analysis to try to get back to anyway!
Until next time, you can always find me on Twitter with near-daily PvP analysis nuggets or Patreon, if you're feeling extra generous.
Good hunting, folks! Do stay safe out there, and catch you next time, Pokéfriends!
submitted by JRE47 to PokemonGOBattleLeague [link] [comments]
B.L.U.F.
- After some clunkers, this has the look of a genuinely GOOD Community Day for PvPers! New move Breaking Swipe is a straight upgrade for Haxorus in ALL Leagues!
- Hax comes with an intriguing movepool already, with two of the very best fast moves in the game AND a varied and effective array of charge moves. There are several ways you can build it, before and still after Community Day... but all of them will now center around Breaking Swipe from here on out.
- Master League Haxorus is not surprisingly your top priority (Hax crosses the important 4000 CP barrier), but don't neglect looking for good ones for lower Leagues as well. Even in Great League, Haxorus does appear to have the sauce to (mostly) overcome its scary glassiness. This is a weekend to hunt for several Haxorus' (Haxoruses? Horoxii? 🤷♂️) if you can!
HAXORUS
Dragon TypeGREAT LEAGUE:
Attack: 151 (149 High Stat Product)
Defense: 96 (98 High Stat Product)
HP: 102 (103 High Stat Product)
(Highest Stat Product IVs: 0-14-13, 1499 CP, Level 15.5)
ULTRA LEAGUE:
Attack: 196 (192 High Stat Product)
Defense: 126 (126 High Stat Product)
HP: 129 (133 High Stat Product)
(Highest Stat Product IVs: 1-15-15, 2495 CP, Level 25.5)
MASTER LEAGUE:
Attack: 251
Defense: 157
HP: 166
(Assuming 15-15-15 IVs, CP 4062 at Level 50)
Real quick, because you're more here for the moves than anything. Haxorus is very frail. Like, the best examples I can give of HOW frail are as follows:
- It has basically the same Attack stat (in Master League) as Therian Landorus, Rayquaza, and Darkrai... but lower bulk than all of them. And NONE of them will ever be labeled as anything close to bulky.
- In Ultra League, the closest comp is Chandelure, with nearly identical Attack and (lack of) bulk.
- And in Great League, Haxorus' total stat product (basically Attack + bulk) is at #807... out of a list 852. It's roughly the same as falls-over-to-a-stiff-breeze Darmanitan, Breloom, and Honchkrow (all of which have a higher stat product than Haxorus!).
But... yeah. Pokemon like this basically require spam to have a chance at making an impact. Thankfully, Haxorus has that in spades, and its new move addition only helps with that, with one of the more interesting movepools in the game!
Fast Moves:
- Counter (Fighting, 4.0 DPT, 3.5 EPT, 1.0 CoolDown)
- Dragon Tail (Dragon, 4.33 DPT, 3.0 EPT, 1.5 CD)
Point is, while Counter is the first move you'll likely consider, this is one of those very rare cases where it may not actually be the best. We'll come back to that.
ᴱ - Exclusive (Community Day) Move
Charge Moves:
- Breaking Swipeᴱ (Dragon, 50 damage, 35 energy, Reduces Opponent Attack -1 Stage)
- Dragon Claw (Dragon, 50 damage, 35 energy)
- Night Slash (Dark, 50 damage, 35 energy, 12.5% Chance to Raise User Attack +2 Stages)
- Surf (Water, 65 damage, 40 energy)
- Earthquake (Ground, 120 damage, 65 energy)
The move variety is SO good, in fact, that it can be hard to settle on what to leave out. One choice, however, becomes obvious now. The term "strictly better" is probably overused, even by me, but Breaking Swipe really is strictly better than Dragon Claw, and thus Haxorus itself is strictly better coming out of Community Day than it is going in. So we can safely push Claw off the raft, as it were, just as we did with Rayquaza when it got Breaking Swipe.
So that leaves us with four moves: 35-energy Breaking Swipe and Night Slash, 40-energy Surf, and 65-energy Earthquake.
Now let's start putting those together with the fast moves and see what shakes out! And we're going to go backwards to do it, starting with the league where Hax is most relevant and working down from there.
MASTER LEAGUE
So for comparison, here is Haxorus' former best in Open Master League, and here is Master League Premier, both running Surf/Dragon Claw. Night Slash isn't too far behind Claw, but the latter is better for overpowering Mamoswine and Machamp (the latter of which resists Night Slash), so Claw gets the nod. ALSO note that I used Dragon Tail there, not Counter. Counter certainly is viable (as good as it is, it would be hard NOT to be viable!), and gets some extra wins versus things like Snorlax and Melmetal with a clear weakness to Fighting damage, but Dragon Tail is needed if you want to beat both Giratinas, Yveltal, and to much better guarantee Garchomp. I lean Tail, but I won't say Counter is "wrong"... just different.Anyway, with Breaking Swipe beign a clear upgrade on Dragon Claw, let's see how much of an upgrade. Swapping Swipe in for Claw and leaving all other factors alone leads to a clear improvement with six new wins: Mewtwo with Focus Blast or Shadow Ball (note, however, that Ice Beam M2 wins with Hax having the winning Swipe fully charged but unable to fire), Yveltal, Groudon, Gyarados, and now Snorlax that was formerly one of Counter's few advantages. Amazing what a simple little nerf to the opponent's Attack strength can do for flimsy Pokemon like Haxorus (as it did for Rayquaza too!). In Premier, it's more of the same, with those Gyarados and Snorlax (and Shadow Snorlax) wins cropping up.
Breaking Swipe's indirect buff to Haxorus' bulk actually allows something even more impressive, though. Whereas before, Earthquake wasn't really an option as Hax would often perish before getting to it in a meaningful spot, Breaking Swipe changes all that. It still unfortunately comes up a little short versus the big Steels (including Diagla), and does give up former wins versus Excadrill and Ice Punch Ursaluna, but it can gain Zacian, folks. (At least, without Play Rough.) Just rolls over it with a big Earthquake. Nice! Similarly, it can also beat Primarina this way now (that's likely just for ML Premier, though).
I will note, however, that Counter doesn't see quite the same bump. It IS better than Claw still, and that shows up more in 2v2 shielding (Claw vs Swipe) as multiple Breaking Swipe debuffs add up, but Dragon Tail is still generally better in 1v1 (and 0v0) shielding and still gets my overall vote. Just too many things that Dragon damage is better for than Fighting damage at this level.
So in short, yes, Breaking Swipe is a clear upgrade for Haxorus in Master League and worth pursuing on Community Day for this purpose. It's still not quite on the level of, say, Dragonite or Kyurem or fellow Swiper ("Swiper, no swiping!") Rayquaza, but I think it defintely moves up into a higher tier of Dragon right there among them.
Master League is what most folks are eyeing going into this weekend, but what about elsewhere?
ULTRA LEAGUE
Similar upgrade here, with Breaking Swipe (this time moreso with Counter... more punchable things at this level than in Master League!) [clearly distancing itself from Dragon Claw... new wins include Swampert, Venusaur, Charizard, Mandibuzz, Guzzlord, Drapion, Golisopod, and of course, Snorlax. (Yeah, CounteClaw/Surf couldn't quite do that before!) Interestingly, it slides backwards in Premier, but in Open? Perhaps it's worth some spice consideration now.Any better in Master League? Spoiler alert: nah.
GREAT LEAGUE
Lots of punchable things down in Great League as well, where Counter Hax is probably already a bit better than you think, at least on paper. Wins against things like Lanturn, Swampert, Galarian Stunfisk, Registeel, Bastiodon, Victreebel, Talonflame, Mandibuzz, Dunsparce, Diggersby, Alolan Sandslash and Walrein catch the eye, but then Breaking Swipe just goes and makes it better with Drapion, Toxicroak, and even Lickitung! And look how far it can now go in 2v2 shielding! Something so fragile shouldn't enjoy that level of success in longer battles like that in Great League, but here we are!IM SUMMATION....
I'm surprised to say it, but I think that Breaking Swipe Haxorus may be worth grinding for in all three Leagues! If I had to rank them, it would be Master first, then Great, and then Ultra, but if you find a candidate with good Ultra League or Great League IVs, evolve it while you can get Breaking Swipe, even if you end up short on candy needed to build them all now. We'll get more Axew candy later this year, right?Gonna wrap it up right here, as Community Day is FAST approaching, and I have Summer Cup (Ultra) analysis to try to get back to anyway!
Until next time, you can always find me on Twitter with near-daily PvP analysis nuggets or Patreon, if you're feeling extra generous.
Good hunting, folks! Do stay safe out there, and catch you next time, Pokéfriends!
2023.06.09 22:00 JRE47 Under The Lights: Community Day Haxorus
Our first Community Day of the season is here, and it's high time everyone be able to find themselves a shiny (literally!) new HAXORUS at last, don't you think? How does this funky Dragon look now in PvP battles? The answer to that is mostly right here in our Bottom Line Up Front:
GREAT LEAGUE:
Attack: 151 (149 High Stat Product)
Defense: 96 (98 High Stat Product)
HP: 102 (103 High Stat Product)
(Highest Stat Product IVs: 0-14-13, 1499 CP, Level 15.5)
ULTRA LEAGUE:
Attack: 196 (192 High Stat Product)
Defense: 126 (126 High Stat Product)
HP: 129 (133 High Stat Product)
(Highest Stat Product IVs: 1-15-15, 2495 CP, Level 25.5)
MASTER LEAGUE:
Attack: 251
Defense: 157
HP: 166
(Assuming 15-15-15 IVs, CP 4062 at Level 50)
Real quick, because you're more here for the moves than anything. Haxorus is very frail. Like, the best examples I can give of HOW frail are as follows:
But... yeah. Pokemon like this basically require spam to have a chance at making an impact. Thankfully, Haxorus has that in spades, and its new move addition only helps with that, with one of the more interesting movepools in the game!
Fast Moves:
Point is, while Counter is the first move you'll likely consider, this is one of those very rare cases where it may not actually be the best. We'll come back to that.
ᴱ - Exclusive (Community Day) Move
Charge Moves:
The move variety is SO good, in fact, that it can be hard to settle on what to leave out. One choice, however, becomes obvious now. The term "strictly better" is probably overused, even by me, but Breaking Swipe really is strictly better than Dragon Claw, and thus Haxorus itself is strictly better coming out of Community Day than it is going in. So we can safely push Claw off the raft, as it were, just as we did with Rayquaza when it got Breaking Swipe.
So that leaves us with four moves: 35-energy Breaking Swipe and Night Slash, 40-energy Surf, and 65-energy Earthquake.
Now let's start putting those together with the fast moves and see what shakes out! And we're going to go backwards to do it, starting with the league where Hax is most relevant and working down from there.
Anyway, with Breaking Swipe beign a clear upgrade on Dragon Claw, let's see how much of an upgrade. Swapping Swipe in for Claw and leaving all other factors alone leads to a clear improvement with six new wins: Mewtwo with Focus Blast or Shadow Ball (note, however, that Ice Beam M2 wins with Hax having the winning Swipe fully charged but unable to fire), Yveltal, Groudon, Gyarados, and now Snorlax that was formerly one of Counter's few advantages. Amazing what a simple little nerf to the opponent's Attack strength can do for flimsy Pokemon like Haxorus (as it did for Rayquaza too!). In Premier, it's more of the same, with those Gyarados and Snorlax (and Shadow Snorlax) wins cropping up.
Breaking Swipe's indirect buff to Haxorus' bulk actually allows something even more impressive, though. Whereas before, Earthquake wasn't really an option as Hax would often perish before getting to it in a meaningful spot, Breaking Swipe changes all that. It still unfortunately comes up a little short versus the big Steels (including Diagla), and does give up former wins versus Excadrill and Ice Punch Ursaluna, but it can gain Zacian, folks. (At least, without Play Rough.) Just rolls over it with a big Earthquake. Nice! Similarly, it can also beat Primarina this way now (that's likely just for ML Premier, though).
I will note, however, that Counter doesn't see quite the same bump. It IS better than Claw still, and that shows up more in 2v2 shielding (Claw vs Swipe) as multiple Breaking Swipe debuffs add up, but Dragon Tail is still generally better in 1v1 (and 0v0) shielding and still gets my overall vote. Just too many things that Dragon damage is better for than Fighting damage at this level.
So in short, yes, Breaking Swipe is a clear upgrade for Haxorus in Master League and worth pursuing on Community Day for this purpose. It's still not quite on the level of, say, Dragonite or Kyurem or fellow Swiper ("Swiper, no swiping!") Rayquaza, but I think it defintely moves up into a higher tier of Dragon right there among them.
Master League is what most folks are eyeing going into this weekend, but what about elsewhere?
Any better in Master League? Spoiler alert: nah.
Gonna wrap it up right here, as Community Day is FAST approaching, and I have Summer Cup (Ultra) analysis to try to get back to anyway!
Until next time, you can always find me on Twitter with near-daily PvP analysis nuggets or Patreon, if you're feeling extra generous.
Good hunting, folks! Do stay safe out there, and catch you next time, Pokéfriends!
submitted by JRE47 to TheSilphArena [link] [comments]
B.L.U.F.
- After some clunkers, this has the look of a genuinely GOOD Community Day for PvPers! New move Breaking Swipe is a straight upgrade for Haxorus in ALL Leagues!
- Hax comes with an intriguing movepool already, with two of the very best fast moves in the game AND a varied and effective array of charge moves. There are several ways you can build it, before and still after Community Day... but all of them will now center around Breaking Swipe from here on out.
- Master League Haxorus is not surprisingly your top priority (Hax crosses the important 4000 CP barrier), but don't neglect looking for good ones for lower Leagues as well. Even in Great League, Haxorus does appear to have the sauce to (mostly) overcome its scary glassiness. This is a weekend to hunt for several Haxorus' (Haxoruses? Horoxii? 🤷♂️) if you can!
HAXORUS
Dragon TypeGREAT LEAGUE:
Attack: 151 (149 High Stat Product)
Defense: 96 (98 High Stat Product)
HP: 102 (103 High Stat Product)
(Highest Stat Product IVs: 0-14-13, 1499 CP, Level 15.5)
ULTRA LEAGUE:
Attack: 196 (192 High Stat Product)
Defense: 126 (126 High Stat Product)
HP: 129 (133 High Stat Product)
(Highest Stat Product IVs: 1-15-15, 2495 CP, Level 25.5)
MASTER LEAGUE:
Attack: 251
Defense: 157
HP: 166
(Assuming 15-15-15 IVs, CP 4062 at Level 50)
Real quick, because you're more here for the moves than anything. Haxorus is very frail. Like, the best examples I can give of HOW frail are as follows:
- It has basically the same Attack stat (in Master League) as Therian Landorus, Rayquaza, and Darkrai... but lower bulk than all of them. And NONE of them will ever be labeled as anything close to bulky.
- In Ultra League, the closest comp is Chandelure, with nearly identical Attack and (lack of) bulk.
- And in Great League, Haxorus' total stat product (basically Attack + bulk) is at #807... out of a list 852. It's roughly the same as falls-over-to-a-stiff-breeze Darmanitan, Breloom, and Honchkrow (all of which have a higher stat product than Haxorus!).
But... yeah. Pokemon like this basically require spam to have a chance at making an impact. Thankfully, Haxorus has that in spades, and its new move addition only helps with that, with one of the more interesting movepools in the game!
Fast Moves:
- Counter (Fighting, 4.0 DPT, 3.5 EPT, 1.0 CoolDown)
- Dragon Tail (Dragon, 4.33 DPT, 3.0 EPT, 1.5 CD)
Point is, while Counter is the first move you'll likely consider, this is one of those very rare cases where it may not actually be the best. We'll come back to that.
ᴱ - Exclusive (Community Day) Move
Charge Moves:
- Breaking Swipeᴱ (Dragon, 50 damage, 35 energy, Reduces Opponent Attack -1 Stage)
- Dragon Claw (Dragon, 50 damage, 35 energy)
- Night Slash (Dark, 50 damage, 35 energy, 12.5% Chance to Raise User Attack +2 Stages)
- Surf (Water, 65 damage, 40 energy)
- Earthquake (Ground, 120 damage, 65 energy)
The move variety is SO good, in fact, that it can be hard to settle on what to leave out. One choice, however, becomes obvious now. The term "strictly better" is probably overused, even by me, but Breaking Swipe really is strictly better than Dragon Claw, and thus Haxorus itself is strictly better coming out of Community Day than it is going in. So we can safely push Claw off the raft, as it were, just as we did with Rayquaza when it got Breaking Swipe.
So that leaves us with four moves: 35-energy Breaking Swipe and Night Slash, 40-energy Surf, and 65-energy Earthquake.
Now let's start putting those together with the fast moves and see what shakes out! And we're going to go backwards to do it, starting with the league where Hax is most relevant and working down from there.
MASTER LEAGUE
So for comparison, here is Haxorus' former best in Open Master League, and here is Master League Premier, both running Surf/Dragon Claw. Night Slash isn't too far behind Claw, but the latter is better for overpowering Mamoswine and Machamp (the latter of which resists Night Slash), so Claw gets the nod. ALSO note that I used Dragon Tail there, not Counter. Counter certainly is viable (as good as it is, it would be hard NOT to be viable!), and gets some extra wins versus things like Snorlax and Melmetal with a clear weakness to Fighting damage, but Dragon Tail is needed if you want to beat both Giratinas, Yveltal, and to much better guarantee Garchomp. I lean Tail, but I won't say Counter is "wrong"... just different.Anyway, with Breaking Swipe beign a clear upgrade on Dragon Claw, let's see how much of an upgrade. Swapping Swipe in for Claw and leaving all other factors alone leads to a clear improvement with six new wins: Mewtwo with Focus Blast or Shadow Ball (note, however, that Ice Beam M2 wins with Hax having the winning Swipe fully charged but unable to fire), Yveltal, Groudon, Gyarados, and now Snorlax that was formerly one of Counter's few advantages. Amazing what a simple little nerf to the opponent's Attack strength can do for flimsy Pokemon like Haxorus (as it did for Rayquaza too!). In Premier, it's more of the same, with those Gyarados and Snorlax (and Shadow Snorlax) wins cropping up.
Breaking Swipe's indirect buff to Haxorus' bulk actually allows something even more impressive, though. Whereas before, Earthquake wasn't really an option as Hax would often perish before getting to it in a meaningful spot, Breaking Swipe changes all that. It still unfortunately comes up a little short versus the big Steels (including Diagla), and does give up former wins versus Excadrill and Ice Punch Ursaluna, but it can gain Zacian, folks. (At least, without Play Rough.) Just rolls over it with a big Earthquake. Nice! Similarly, it can also beat Primarina this way now (that's likely just for ML Premier, though).
I will note, however, that Counter doesn't see quite the same bump. It IS better than Claw still, and that shows up more in 2v2 shielding (Claw vs Swipe) as multiple Breaking Swipe debuffs add up, but Dragon Tail is still generally better in 1v1 (and 0v0) shielding and still gets my overall vote. Just too many things that Dragon damage is better for than Fighting damage at this level.
So in short, yes, Breaking Swipe is a clear upgrade for Haxorus in Master League and worth pursuing on Community Day for this purpose. It's still not quite on the level of, say, Dragonite or Kyurem or fellow Swiper ("Swiper, no swiping!") Rayquaza, but I think it defintely moves up into a higher tier of Dragon right there among them.
Master League is what most folks are eyeing going into this weekend, but what about elsewhere?
ULTRA LEAGUE
Similar upgrade here, with Breaking Swipe (this time moreso with Counter... more punchable things at this level than in Master League!) [clearly distancing itself from Dragon Claw... new wins include Swampert, Venusaur, Charizard, Mandibuzz, Guzzlord, Drapion, Golisopod, and of course, Snorlax. (Yeah, CounteClaw/Surf couldn't quite do that before!) Interestingly, it slides backwards in Premier, but in Open? Perhaps it's worth some spice consideration now.Any better in Master League? Spoiler alert: nah.
GREAT LEAGUE
Lots of punchable things down in Great League as well, where Counter Hax is probably already a bit better than you think, at least on paper. Wins against things like Lanturn, Swampert, Galarian Stunfisk, Registeel, Bastiodon, Victreebel, Talonflame, Mandibuzz, Dunsparce, Diggersby, Alolan Sandslash and Walrein catch the eye, but then Breaking Swipe just goes and makes it better with Drapion, Toxicroak, and even Lickitung! And look how far it can now go in 2v2 shielding! Something so fragile shouldn't enjoy that level of success in longer battles like that in Great League, but here we are!IM SUMMATION....
I'm surprised to say it, but I think that Breaking Swipe Haxorus may be worth grinding for in all three Leagues! If I had to rank them, it would be Master first, then Great, and then Ultra, but if you find a candidate with good Ultra League or Great League IVs, evolve it while you can get Breaking Swipe, even if you end up short on candy needed to build them all now. We'll get more Axew candy later this year, right?Gonna wrap it up right here, as Community Day is FAST approaching, and I have Summer Cup (Ultra) analysis to try to get back to anyway!
Until next time, you can always find me on Twitter with near-daily PvP analysis nuggets or Patreon, if you're feeling extra generous.
Good hunting, folks! Do stay safe out there, and catch you next time, Pokéfriends!
2023.06.09 22:00 JRE47 A PvP Analysis on Breaking Swipe Haxorus (June Community Day)
Our first Community Day of the season is here, and it's high time everyone be able to find themselves a shiny (literally!) new HAXORUS at last, don't you think? How does this funky Dragon look now in PvP battles? The answer to that is mostly right here in our Bottom Line Up Front:
GREAT LEAGUE:
Attack: 151 (149 High Stat Product)
Defense: 96 (98 High Stat Product)
HP: 102 (103 High Stat Product)
(Highest Stat Product IVs: 0-14-13, 1499 CP, Level 15.5)
ULTRA LEAGUE:
Attack: 196 (192 High Stat Product)
Defense: 126 (126 High Stat Product)
HP: 129 (133 High Stat Product)
(Highest Stat Product IVs: 1-15-15, 2495 CP, Level 25.5)
MASTER LEAGUE:
Attack: 251
Defense: 157
HP: 166
(Assuming 15-15-15 IVs, CP 4062 at Level 50)
Real quick, because you're more here for the moves than anything. Haxorus is very frail. Like, the best examples I can give of HOW frail are as follows:
But... yeah. Pokemon like this basically require spam to have a chance at making an impact. Thankfully, Haxorus has that in spades, and its new move addition only helps with that, with one of the more interesting movepools in the game!
Fast Moves:
Point is, while Counter is the first move you'll likely consider, this is one of those very rare cases where it may not actually be the best. We'll come back to that.
ᴱ - Exclusive (Community Day) Move
Charge Moves:
The move variety is SO good, in fact, that it can be hard to settle on what to leave out. One choice, however, becomes obvious now. The term "strictly better" is probably overused, even by me, but Breaking Swipe really is strictly better than Dragon Claw, and thus Haxorus itself is strictly better coming out of Community Day than it is going in. So we can safely push Claw off the raft, as it were, just as we did with Rayquaza when it got Breaking Swipe.
So that leaves us with four moves: 35-energy Breaking Swipe and Night Slash, 40-energy Surf, and 65-energy Earthquake.
Now let's start putting those together with the fast moves and see what shakes out! And we're going to go backwards to do it, starting with the league where Hax is most relevant and working down from there.
Anyway, with Breaking Swipe beign a clear upgrade on Dragon Claw, let's see how much of an upgrade. Swapping Swipe in for Claw and leaving all other factors alone leads to a clear improvement with six new wins: Mewtwo with Focus Blast or Shadow Ball (note, however, that Ice Beam M2 wins with Hax having the winning Swipe fully charged but unable to fire), Yveltal, Groudon, Gyarados, and now Snorlax that was formerly one of Counter's few advantages. Amazing what a simple little nerf to the opponent's Attack strength can do for flimsy Pokemon like Haxorus (as it did for Rayquaza too!). In Premier, it's more of the same, with those Gyarados and Snorlax (and Shadow Snorlax) wins cropping up.
Breaking Swipe's indirect buff to Haxorus' bulk actually allows something even more impressive, though. Whereas before, Earthquake wasn't really an option as Hax would often perish before getting to it in a meaningful spot, Breaking Swipe changes all that. It still unfortunately comes up a little short versus the big Steels (including Diagla), and does give up former wins versus Excadrill and Ice Punch Ursaluna, but it can gain Zacian, folks. (At least, without Play Rough.) Just rolls over it with a big Earthquake. Nice! Similarly, it can also beat Primarina this way now (that's likely just for ML Premier, though).
I will note, however, that Counter doesn't see quite the same bump. It IS better than Claw still, and that shows up more in 2v2 shielding (Claw vs Swipe) as multiple Breaking Swipe debuffs add up, but Dragon Tail is still generally better in 1v1 (and 0v0) shielding and still gets my overall vote. Just too many things that Dragon damage is better for than Fighting damage at this level.
So in short, yes, Breaking Swipe is a clear upgrade for Haxorus in Master League and worth pursuing on Community Day for this purpose. It's still not quite on the level of, say, Dragonite or Kyurem or fellow Swiper ("Swiper, no swiping!") Rayquaza, but I think it defintely moves up into a higher tier of Dragon right there among them.
Master League is what most folks are eyeing going into this weekend, but what about elsewhere?
Any better in Master League? Spoiler alert: nah.
Gonna wrap it up right here, as Community Day is FAST approaching, and I have Summer Cup (Ultra) analysis to try to get back to anyway!
Until next time, you can always find me on Twitter with near-daily PvP analysis nuggets or Patreon, if you're feeling extra generous.
Good hunting, folks! Do stay safe out there, and catch you next time, Pokéfriends!
submitted by JRE47 to TheSilphRoad [link] [comments]
B.L.U.F.
- After some clunkers, this has the look of a genuinely GOOD Community Day for PvPers! New move Breaking Swipe is a straight upgrade for Haxorus in ALL Leagues!
- Hax comes with an intriguing movepool already, with two of the very best fast moves in the game AND a varied and effective array of charge moves. There are several ways you can build it, before and still after Community Day... but all of them will now center around Breaking Swipe from here on out.
- Master League Haxorus is not surprisingly your top priority (Hax crosses the important 4000 CP barrier), but don't neglect looking for good ones for lower Leagues as well. Even in Great League, Haxorus does appear to have the sauce to (mostly) overcome its scary glassiness. This is a weekend to hunt for several Haxorus' (Haxoruses? Horoxii? 🤷♂️) if you can!
HAXORUS
Dragon TypeGREAT LEAGUE:
Attack: 151 (149 High Stat Product)
Defense: 96 (98 High Stat Product)
HP: 102 (103 High Stat Product)
(Highest Stat Product IVs: 0-14-13, 1499 CP, Level 15.5)
ULTRA LEAGUE:
Attack: 196 (192 High Stat Product)
Defense: 126 (126 High Stat Product)
HP: 129 (133 High Stat Product)
(Highest Stat Product IVs: 1-15-15, 2495 CP, Level 25.5)
MASTER LEAGUE:
Attack: 251
Defense: 157
HP: 166
(Assuming 15-15-15 IVs, CP 4062 at Level 50)
Real quick, because you're more here for the moves than anything. Haxorus is very frail. Like, the best examples I can give of HOW frail are as follows:
- It has basically the same Attack stat (in Master League) as Therian Landorus, Rayquaza, and Darkrai... but lower bulk than all of them. And NONE of them will ever be labeled as anything close to bulky.
- In Ultra League, the closest comp is Chandelure, with nearly identical Attack and (lack of) bulk.
- And in Great League, Haxorus' total stat product (basically Attack + bulk) is at #807... out of a list 852. It's roughly the same as falls-over-to-a-stiff-breeze Darmanitan, Breloom, and Honchkrow (all of which have a higher stat product than Haxorus!).
But... yeah. Pokemon like this basically require spam to have a chance at making an impact. Thankfully, Haxorus has that in spades, and its new move addition only helps with that, with one of the more interesting movepools in the game!
Fast Moves:
- Counter (Fighting, 4.0 DPT, 3.5 EPT, 1.0 CoolDown)
- Dragon Tail (Dragon, 4.33 DPT, 3.0 EPT, 1.5 CD)
Point is, while Counter is the first move you'll likely consider, this is one of those very rare cases where it may not actually be the best. We'll come back to that.
ᴱ - Exclusive (Community Day) Move
Charge Moves:
- Breaking Swipeᴱ (Dragon, 50 damage, 35 energy, Reduces Opponent Attack -1 Stage)
- Dragon Claw (Dragon, 50 damage, 35 energy)
- Night Slash (Dark, 50 damage, 35 energy, 12.5% Chance to Raise User Attack +2 Stages)
- Surf (Water, 65 damage, 40 energy)
- Earthquake (Ground, 120 damage, 65 energy)
The move variety is SO good, in fact, that it can be hard to settle on what to leave out. One choice, however, becomes obvious now. The term "strictly better" is probably overused, even by me, but Breaking Swipe really is strictly better than Dragon Claw, and thus Haxorus itself is strictly better coming out of Community Day than it is going in. So we can safely push Claw off the raft, as it were, just as we did with Rayquaza when it got Breaking Swipe.
So that leaves us with four moves: 35-energy Breaking Swipe and Night Slash, 40-energy Surf, and 65-energy Earthquake.
Now let's start putting those together with the fast moves and see what shakes out! And we're going to go backwards to do it, starting with the league where Hax is most relevant and working down from there.
MASTER LEAGUE
So for comparison, here is Haxorus' former best in Open Master League, and here is Master League Premier, both running Surf/Dragon Claw. Night Slash isn't too far behind Claw, but the latter is better for overpowering Mamoswine and Machamp (the latter of which resists Night Slash), so Claw gets the nod. ALSO note that I used Dragon Tail there, not Counter. Counter certainly is viable (as good as it is, it would be hard NOT to be viable!), and gets some extra wins versus things like Snorlax and Melmetal with a clear weakness to Fighting damage, but Dragon Tail is needed if you want to beat both Giratinas, Yveltal, and to much better guarantee Garchomp. I lean Tail, but I won't say Counter is "wrong"... just different.Anyway, with Breaking Swipe beign a clear upgrade on Dragon Claw, let's see how much of an upgrade. Swapping Swipe in for Claw and leaving all other factors alone leads to a clear improvement with six new wins: Mewtwo with Focus Blast or Shadow Ball (note, however, that Ice Beam M2 wins with Hax having the winning Swipe fully charged but unable to fire), Yveltal, Groudon, Gyarados, and now Snorlax that was formerly one of Counter's few advantages. Amazing what a simple little nerf to the opponent's Attack strength can do for flimsy Pokemon like Haxorus (as it did for Rayquaza too!). In Premier, it's more of the same, with those Gyarados and Snorlax (and Shadow Snorlax) wins cropping up.
Breaking Swipe's indirect buff to Haxorus' bulk actually allows something even more impressive, though. Whereas before, Earthquake wasn't really an option as Hax would often perish before getting to it in a meaningful spot, Breaking Swipe changes all that. It still unfortunately comes up a little short versus the big Steels (including Diagla), and does give up former wins versus Excadrill and Ice Punch Ursaluna, but it can gain Zacian, folks. (At least, without Play Rough.) Just rolls over it with a big Earthquake. Nice! Similarly, it can also beat Primarina this way now (that's likely just for ML Premier, though).
I will note, however, that Counter doesn't see quite the same bump. It IS better than Claw still, and that shows up more in 2v2 shielding (Claw vs Swipe) as multiple Breaking Swipe debuffs add up, but Dragon Tail is still generally better in 1v1 (and 0v0) shielding and still gets my overall vote. Just too many things that Dragon damage is better for than Fighting damage at this level.
So in short, yes, Breaking Swipe is a clear upgrade for Haxorus in Master League and worth pursuing on Community Day for this purpose. It's still not quite on the level of, say, Dragonite or Kyurem or fellow Swiper ("Swiper, no swiping!") Rayquaza, but I think it defintely moves up into a higher tier of Dragon right there among them.
Master League is what most folks are eyeing going into this weekend, but what about elsewhere?
ULTRA LEAGUE
Similar upgrade here, with Breaking Swipe (this time moreso with Counter... more punchable things at this level than in Master League!) [clearly distancing itself from Dragon Claw... new wins include Swampert, Venusaur, Charizard, Mandibuzz, Guzzlord, Drapion, Golisopod, and of course, Snorlax. (Yeah, CounteClaw/Surf couldn't quite do that before!) Interestingly, it slides backwards in Premier, but in Open? Perhaps it's worth some spice consideration now.Any better in Master League? Spoiler alert: nah.
GREAT LEAGUE
Lots of punchable things down in Great League as well, where Counter Hax is probably already a bit better than you think, at least on paper. Wins against things like Lanturn, Swampert, Galarian Stunfisk, Registeel, Bastiodon, Victreebel, Talonflame, Mandibuzz, Dunsparce, Diggersby, Alolan Sandslash and Walrein catch the eye, but then Breaking Swipe just goes and makes it better with Drapion, Toxicroak, and even Lickitung! And look how far it can now go in 2v2 shielding! Something so fragile shouldn't enjoy that level of success in longer battles like that in Great League, but here we are!IM SUMMATION....
I'm surprised to say it, but I think that Breaking Swipe Haxorus may be worth grinding for in all three Leagues! If I had to rank them, it would be Master first, then Great, and then Ultra, but if you find a candidate with good Ultra League or Great League IVs, evolve it while you can get Breaking Swipe, even if you end up short on candy needed to build them all now. We'll get more Axew candy later this year, right?Gonna wrap it up right here, as Community Day is FAST approaching, and I have Summer Cup (Ultra) analysis to try to get back to anyway!
Until next time, you can always find me on Twitter with near-daily PvP analysis nuggets or Patreon, if you're feeling extra generous.
Good hunting, folks! Do stay safe out there, and catch you next time, Pokéfriends!
2023.06.09 21:59 sufficiently-jacked Struggling to find the pro's of my situation...
A multi-level issue here and I don’t even know how to explain it all without a novel. I will TRY to keep it short. I just feel like I am getting zero wins, I leave work happy and come into a home that drags the joy out of me. I used to be a healthy balance of optimistic & realist, feet on the ground kind of guy. Now I find myself quick to anger, short bandwidth at work, and just all around more negative. I am at the end of my rope here and I am miserable. A man shouldn’t seek to be blissfully happy but he should seek to not be miserable.
I’m 36 (M), she’s 33 (F). Two SK’s 13 and 12. We have a beautiful son together who is incredible and perfect! But he and I are in a bad situation thanks to some poor decisions I’ve made. Or maybe I got duped I don’t know.
Met in Feb 2020, Married Nov 2021. I’ve always been picky and never met anyone good. She checked all the boxes. Aligned values, health, humor, she has hobbies, she had work ethic, wasn’t self obsessed, etc. She looked at me and listened to me like no one ever had. We’re both fit and she is gorgeous. It all felt right and great!
Didn’t meet her kids for 4 months, was weary about it but we felt like such a great match for each other that I wanted to try. The time spent with them of course was sparse since she usually came to spend time with me when they were at their bio dads. They were respectful and well behaved, very fun, when the time was spent. Anytime I went to their house it was spotless clean. Before we got married there were some red flags I chose to justify…she bit my head off a few times for stupid things. Kids were bad. Just some subtle clues. It’s hard to gauge the reality in those moments.
We get pregnant Feb 2022, planned. Things are still alright but this was the month some of the truth started coming out, honeymoon phase ends too soon. Kids become extremely messy, do the opposite of what their told, hyper desperate attempts for attention, interrupting, breaking things around the house, sneaking food not for them in their room, just suddenly all at once changing. This is BEFORE they found out we were pregnant (we waited 3 months to tell them which would be late April 2022). So I started worrying what was ahead but remained optimistic.
I make a very good amount of money, 7 figures some years. Which I never really brought up in a bragging manner, this wasn’t a sugar mama situation. I had a beautiful loft and nice things, but I don’t think any of them know the extent of the work I’ve accomplished. I own 2 e-commerce businesses and as of the last few years buy / sell commercial real estate. Her kids started asking for more and more things, demanding, expecting. Pitching fits when they don’t get them (I have to assume their dad is in their ear on some of this…). I bought us a beautiful home to live in…they weren’t living large when I met them.
Bio dad was invisible until March 2022 (she left him btw). The oldest brought us all these issues that were going on at her dads, which my wife reacted to by calling him and shouting (which seemed justified at the time). It started a complete war, he was constantly changing the rules and just creating chaos. Met a woman from Iraq who lived here for 20+ years but wanted to bring them to Iraq for their wedding. Ended up in court again. I PAID FOR IT ALL BECAUSE I WAS PRESSURED AND HAD NO CHOICE. She / we lost and they went to Iraq. They came back fine but all that damage was done. And then entire year of 2022, when it’s supposed to be a beautiful time of my first child, most days its 30-50% about the bio dad and all the conflict and chaos. That pure time was taken from me, from us. I don’t want to be selfish but I feel I am in last place.
TURNS OUT SD12 lied about everything that he was doing toxic or bad she got an iPhone on her bday and we read her texts where it all caved in. We confronted she admitted. Fast forward now we learned she is a compulsive liar and almost everything she says or does is a lie in effect. She is matching all the traits for antisocial personality disorder. She made up a SLEW of things about me (saying I screamed at her and verbally abuse her) to her dad and my mother in law. ALL untrue but it’s given me even more battles and riffs for my wife and I, her parents treat me differently now. Bio dad never mentioned it…I have to wonder if he knows it’s untrue and just rolls his eyes.
SD11 is a whole mess. I am not exaggerating the only things she speaks are bragging, whining, or being MEAN as hell…almost always interrupting and won’t stop talking even if she’s being fussed at for it. EVERYTHING she does is for attention even negative. She falls on purpose, she breaks things on purpose, she is ALWAYS sick, always coughing, she laughs overly hard at things that aren’t funny (no she’s not autistic). Even when you give her tons of attention for two weeks the well just gets deeper and then she needs MORE. It’s like a drug to her, completely untamable situation. She’s also very overweight, and knows how to get away with over eating. Yes it’s sad she’s doing it but I have no control so now I am venting on reddit about it. She eats very slow and gets 2nds 3rds 4ths over the course of 1.5 hours. She asks for dessert every night, the answer is NO, she asks again 5m later, NO, and the 3rd one another 5m later YES. If the answer continues to be no, she will wait until we’re asleep and sneak it upstairs. I have caught her in the act and told my wife, she blew it off. I counted her calories…she’s 4.5 feet tall and will regularly eat 3,500+ calories then whine all night about her stomach. She shits her pants at school, she does not have a medical condition we checked. Wife is aware and says “poor girl” because she’s very large but will only create solutions temporarily.
Bio dad is a pretty standard charismatic narcissist. Is nice, creates issues but acts like the other person is the irrational one, refuses to see his fault in the matter, doubles down, etc. He has no boundaries and knocked on our door and would walk in. I would have to tell him let’s go back outside. Eventually yelling at him and telling him to never do it again. One time during the Iraq chaos I come home to them yelling at each other in the yard and had to run up and tell everyone to shut up. Told my wife to go inside and followed her in. Then he left.
She then started a fight saying I should support her more, no one sees what she’s been through with him, etc etc. I felt like I was just a punching bag for her anger which is fine sometimes. She’d probably apologize later. I just nod and agree, wait some time then hug her…she says “I don’t know what the hell you’re doing…” then we don’t talk for 3 days. Completely stone walled. He says things to get under her skin, and gets the anger and reaction he wants (Narcissistic). When I tell her to approach it differently to get the result she wants, after some back and forth it ends in a fight. She says I don’t support her and I don’t understand what she’s been through and how hard it is.
I start bringing up issues about her kids, or the amount of time spent talking about their bio dad, in a calm and productive manner (I extensively researched how to positively communicate with an emotional wife, and either way was raised with good comm skills). Within minutes it’s “You don’t know shit about raising kids” and “You’re so mean and abusive”. As I try to de-escalate she finds anything and everything to latch onto that’s better…very standard crap like “OH so I’m derailing now…NO YOU’RE JUST NOT GETTING IT”.
No matter how big or how small the issue is, it turns into a massive blow out, she pulls out the most hurtful big guns she can think of. Issue is never resolved or communicated. I am stonewalled for 1 to 7 days. I never lose my cool and always think about the things I am going to say. It’s literally impossible to put my foot down calmly, irrationally, sweetly, anything. Because no matter what she plays mental gymnastics and as I am trying to de-escalate and get back on topic, while taking pretty hurtful blows, a door will be slammed and it’s all over. She finds a way to blame me and move on.
For the record I never bring up my money contribution to the matter, she quit work a few months before having our son, and hasn’t worked since. Which I prefer because she doesn’t have to and being a mom is a full time job and she has many side hustles on Etsy to keep her true to herself and centered (or so I think). This means I pay for A LOT of the SK’s stuff and with my situation the last 2 years I am really beginning to resent EVERYONE involved. I get no thanks, no appreciation. In fact during fights, despite never bringing up money, which has been a MASSIVE value adder for all of their lives, my wife tells me she doesn’t need any of it and it means nothing to her. WELL YOU ALL REALLY APPRECIATE THE SPOILS OF IT ALL. Even though I worked 12-14 hour days for 10 years to get where I am at, no handouts, it’s all devalued as a contribution to the marriage and written off. Sad.
After being stonewalled she will eventually hug me and say I don’t want to fight with you, I love you. And I will say me either, we don’t have to, I just want to work this out and we’ll be happier for it. I get either “I love you, I would never cause you problems or hurt you!” Or “I just want to enjoy our night / weekend whatever time it is together.” It’s never the right time. A lot of avoidance or kicking the can down the road. Then she is really sweet and great for 3-4 weeks, then it slowly goes back to biting my head off and getting a tone. I stay silent to keep the peace for a few weeks then I can’t take it anymore so I stand up for myself and stand my ground. Same thing happens over again.
Oh we went on a great lavish vacation early 2022, after the first one that was a nightmare…I was pressured into one more. And then I said no more for 3 years. Which turned into a massive MASSIVE fight with her telling me to move out at the end, then after a few days trying to act like that didn’t happen. Now I am being pressured into buying a new home since we outgrew ours.
So I am dealing with a marriage of very poor communication, AND I have the LEAST interesting kids ever (sorry but its true), they have zero skills, cannot have a conversation to save their life (all they do is ask me how my day was and when I answer with a sentence or more they just stare at me), no manners, no obedience, but they both act so sweet and cordial when I enter the home, and they immediately say sorry when we get onto them, but then they go right back to doing it. They lie, they fake things for attention, they can’t even walk behind us without bumping into us. Some of these things you’d expect from a 5 or 6 year old but now 10+. They are just really showing non pro-social behaviors and even seeing their friends leave them in the dust. And from the moment we had our son, I dislike them more...
My wife’s parenting style is a little reactive at times. She yells at them but doesn’t seem to understand root causes and how to go upstream to solve. She expects greatness but doesn’t know how to put in the time (their dad is a bigger issue). Her mom was really mean and toxic toward her growing up so with that it’s she really understand how to give and accept love or communicate calmly. Wife says all the time she doesn’t like the two girls, and how bad they are, and how hard she tries but no matter what they're awful. So she sees it. And when I try to make suggestions shes avoidant or it ends up in a fight. She’s an INCREDIBLE super mom to our son though. Which is great…
I realize this group is mostly women, and they will say her behavior is pre or post pregnancy. It’s not...there were watered down / held back situations that happened before all that. I even was considering leaving then we got pregnant. Yes it was planned but you can hold onto hope and have reality slapping you in the face at the same time.
Okay so it was a novel sorry. I am sad to think of leaving the marriage because we have an 8 month old who deserves better than this…I feel like I am putting in so much work into the marriage. I am reading books. I am in therapy myself which I have never done. I look at myself to see if I am the problem. I brought SO MUCH love and yes, financial value, to the relationship. I am getting none of that in return. She is keeping me on the line with temporary conditional love and wild sex that all gives me hope, I have always been above that but here I am. I feel like the root cause of my wife’s problems are solvable in time, but the step kids I dont know if I can do that any longer. It's just a tornado and theres been no growth. Thanks to those who read this much, I know it was chaotic.
submitted by sufficiently-jacked to stepparents [link] [comments]
I’m 36 (M), she’s 33 (F). Two SK’s 13 and 12. We have a beautiful son together who is incredible and perfect! But he and I are in a bad situation thanks to some poor decisions I’ve made. Or maybe I got duped I don’t know.
Met in Feb 2020, Married Nov 2021. I’ve always been picky and never met anyone good. She checked all the boxes. Aligned values, health, humor, she has hobbies, she had work ethic, wasn’t self obsessed, etc. She looked at me and listened to me like no one ever had. We’re both fit and she is gorgeous. It all felt right and great!
Didn’t meet her kids for 4 months, was weary about it but we felt like such a great match for each other that I wanted to try. The time spent with them of course was sparse since she usually came to spend time with me when they were at their bio dads. They were respectful and well behaved, very fun, when the time was spent. Anytime I went to their house it was spotless clean. Before we got married there were some red flags I chose to justify…she bit my head off a few times for stupid things. Kids were bad. Just some subtle clues. It’s hard to gauge the reality in those moments.
We get pregnant Feb 2022, planned. Things are still alright but this was the month some of the truth started coming out, honeymoon phase ends too soon. Kids become extremely messy, do the opposite of what their told, hyper desperate attempts for attention, interrupting, breaking things around the house, sneaking food not for them in their room, just suddenly all at once changing. This is BEFORE they found out we were pregnant (we waited 3 months to tell them which would be late April 2022). So I started worrying what was ahead but remained optimistic.
I make a very good amount of money, 7 figures some years. Which I never really brought up in a bragging manner, this wasn’t a sugar mama situation. I had a beautiful loft and nice things, but I don’t think any of them know the extent of the work I’ve accomplished. I own 2 e-commerce businesses and as of the last few years buy / sell commercial real estate. Her kids started asking for more and more things, demanding, expecting. Pitching fits when they don’t get them (I have to assume their dad is in their ear on some of this…). I bought us a beautiful home to live in…they weren’t living large when I met them.
Bio dad was invisible until March 2022 (she left him btw). The oldest brought us all these issues that were going on at her dads, which my wife reacted to by calling him and shouting (which seemed justified at the time). It started a complete war, he was constantly changing the rules and just creating chaos. Met a woman from Iraq who lived here for 20+ years but wanted to bring them to Iraq for their wedding. Ended up in court again. I PAID FOR IT ALL BECAUSE I WAS PRESSURED AND HAD NO CHOICE. She / we lost and they went to Iraq. They came back fine but all that damage was done. And then entire year of 2022, when it’s supposed to be a beautiful time of my first child, most days its 30-50% about the bio dad and all the conflict and chaos. That pure time was taken from me, from us. I don’t want to be selfish but I feel I am in last place.
TURNS OUT SD12 lied about everything that he was doing toxic or bad she got an iPhone on her bday and we read her texts where it all caved in. We confronted she admitted. Fast forward now we learned she is a compulsive liar and almost everything she says or does is a lie in effect. She is matching all the traits for antisocial personality disorder. She made up a SLEW of things about me (saying I screamed at her and verbally abuse her) to her dad and my mother in law. ALL untrue but it’s given me even more battles and riffs for my wife and I, her parents treat me differently now. Bio dad never mentioned it…I have to wonder if he knows it’s untrue and just rolls his eyes.
SD11 is a whole mess. I am not exaggerating the only things she speaks are bragging, whining, or being MEAN as hell…almost always interrupting and won’t stop talking even if she’s being fussed at for it. EVERYTHING she does is for attention even negative. She falls on purpose, she breaks things on purpose, she is ALWAYS sick, always coughing, she laughs overly hard at things that aren’t funny (no she’s not autistic). Even when you give her tons of attention for two weeks the well just gets deeper and then she needs MORE. It’s like a drug to her, completely untamable situation. She’s also very overweight, and knows how to get away with over eating. Yes it’s sad she’s doing it but I have no control so now I am venting on reddit about it. She eats very slow and gets 2nds 3rds 4ths over the course of 1.5 hours. She asks for dessert every night, the answer is NO, she asks again 5m later, NO, and the 3rd one another 5m later YES. If the answer continues to be no, she will wait until we’re asleep and sneak it upstairs. I have caught her in the act and told my wife, she blew it off. I counted her calories…she’s 4.5 feet tall and will regularly eat 3,500+ calories then whine all night about her stomach. She shits her pants at school, she does not have a medical condition we checked. Wife is aware and says “poor girl” because she’s very large but will only create solutions temporarily.
Bio dad is a pretty standard charismatic narcissist. Is nice, creates issues but acts like the other person is the irrational one, refuses to see his fault in the matter, doubles down, etc. He has no boundaries and knocked on our door and would walk in. I would have to tell him let’s go back outside. Eventually yelling at him and telling him to never do it again. One time during the Iraq chaos I come home to them yelling at each other in the yard and had to run up and tell everyone to shut up. Told my wife to go inside and followed her in. Then he left.
She then started a fight saying I should support her more, no one sees what she’s been through with him, etc etc. I felt like I was just a punching bag for her anger which is fine sometimes. She’d probably apologize later. I just nod and agree, wait some time then hug her…she says “I don’t know what the hell you’re doing…” then we don’t talk for 3 days. Completely stone walled. He says things to get under her skin, and gets the anger and reaction he wants (Narcissistic). When I tell her to approach it differently to get the result she wants, after some back and forth it ends in a fight. She says I don’t support her and I don’t understand what she’s been through and how hard it is.
I start bringing up issues about her kids, or the amount of time spent talking about their bio dad, in a calm and productive manner (I extensively researched how to positively communicate with an emotional wife, and either way was raised with good comm skills). Within minutes it’s “You don’t know shit about raising kids” and “You’re so mean and abusive”. As I try to de-escalate she finds anything and everything to latch onto that’s better…very standard crap like “OH so I’m derailing now…NO YOU’RE JUST NOT GETTING IT”.
No matter how big or how small the issue is, it turns into a massive blow out, she pulls out the most hurtful big guns she can think of. Issue is never resolved or communicated. I am stonewalled for 1 to 7 days. I never lose my cool and always think about the things I am going to say. It’s literally impossible to put my foot down calmly, irrationally, sweetly, anything. Because no matter what she plays mental gymnastics and as I am trying to de-escalate and get back on topic, while taking pretty hurtful blows, a door will be slammed and it’s all over. She finds a way to blame me and move on.
For the record I never bring up my money contribution to the matter, she quit work a few months before having our son, and hasn’t worked since. Which I prefer because she doesn’t have to and being a mom is a full time job and she has many side hustles on Etsy to keep her true to herself and centered (or so I think). This means I pay for A LOT of the SK’s stuff and with my situation the last 2 years I am really beginning to resent EVERYONE involved. I get no thanks, no appreciation. In fact during fights, despite never bringing up money, which has been a MASSIVE value adder for all of their lives, my wife tells me she doesn’t need any of it and it means nothing to her. WELL YOU ALL REALLY APPRECIATE THE SPOILS OF IT ALL. Even though I worked 12-14 hour days for 10 years to get where I am at, no handouts, it’s all devalued as a contribution to the marriage and written off. Sad.
After being stonewalled she will eventually hug me and say I don’t want to fight with you, I love you. And I will say me either, we don’t have to, I just want to work this out and we’ll be happier for it. I get either “I love you, I would never cause you problems or hurt you!” Or “I just want to enjoy our night / weekend whatever time it is together.” It’s never the right time. A lot of avoidance or kicking the can down the road. Then she is really sweet and great for 3-4 weeks, then it slowly goes back to biting my head off and getting a tone. I stay silent to keep the peace for a few weeks then I can’t take it anymore so I stand up for myself and stand my ground. Same thing happens over again.
Oh we went on a great lavish vacation early 2022, after the first one that was a nightmare…I was pressured into one more. And then I said no more for 3 years. Which turned into a massive MASSIVE fight with her telling me to move out at the end, then after a few days trying to act like that didn’t happen. Now I am being pressured into buying a new home since we outgrew ours.
So I am dealing with a marriage of very poor communication, AND I have the LEAST interesting kids ever (sorry but its true), they have zero skills, cannot have a conversation to save their life (all they do is ask me how my day was and when I answer with a sentence or more they just stare at me), no manners, no obedience, but they both act so sweet and cordial when I enter the home, and they immediately say sorry when we get onto them, but then they go right back to doing it. They lie, they fake things for attention, they can’t even walk behind us without bumping into us. Some of these things you’d expect from a 5 or 6 year old but now 10+. They are just really showing non pro-social behaviors and even seeing their friends leave them in the dust. And from the moment we had our son, I dislike them more...
My wife’s parenting style is a little reactive at times. She yells at them but doesn’t seem to understand root causes and how to go upstream to solve. She expects greatness but doesn’t know how to put in the time (their dad is a bigger issue). Her mom was really mean and toxic toward her growing up so with that it’s she really understand how to give and accept love or communicate calmly. Wife says all the time she doesn’t like the two girls, and how bad they are, and how hard she tries but no matter what they're awful. So she sees it. And when I try to make suggestions shes avoidant or it ends up in a fight. She’s an INCREDIBLE super mom to our son though. Which is great…
I realize this group is mostly women, and they will say her behavior is pre or post pregnancy. It’s not...there were watered down / held back situations that happened before all that. I even was considering leaving then we got pregnant. Yes it was planned but you can hold onto hope and have reality slapping you in the face at the same time.
Okay so it was a novel sorry. I am sad to think of leaving the marriage because we have an 8 month old who deserves better than this…I feel like I am putting in so much work into the marriage. I am reading books. I am in therapy myself which I have never done. I look at myself to see if I am the problem. I brought SO MUCH love and yes, financial value, to the relationship. I am getting none of that in return. She is keeping me on the line with temporary conditional love and wild sex that all gives me hope, I have always been above that but here I am. I feel like the root cause of my wife’s problems are solvable in time, but the step kids I dont know if I can do that any longer. It's just a tornado and theres been no growth. Thanks to those who read this much, I know it was chaotic.