I (29M) and him (30M) in a 4-Year Relationship I wrote this while being in “shock” and it turned more into a long rant of my situation. English isn't my first language.
I, a 29-year-old male, have been in a relationship with my partner (30M) for 4 years now. While not every moment in the past 4 years has been perfect, I mostly look back on our relationship with happy memories. Our personalities overlap and complement each other in a way that I believe is unique and unlikely to be experienced again in this lifetime. He has a great sense of humor, takes care of me, and I have no doubt that he genuinely loves me. However, I must acknowledge that the last year hasn't been entirely smooth.
Even before we met, he has been struggling with mental health problems, primarily depression. During his teenage years, it went mostly undiagnosed, and he only began his mental health journey in his early to mid-20s. He only revealed his depression to me about 4 months into our relationship. While I didn't expect it, I wasn't completely shocked either. I reassured him that although there is still a significant stigma associated with mental health struggles in our country and society, all I care about is his well-being. I encouraged him to treat his "illness" just like any other health condition, meaning that he needs to actively take care of his mental health. Although I understand that something like depression doesn't have a "cure" like a broken bone, it can be managed, therapeutically addressed, and even treated with medication.
When we first met, he was already attending 1-on-1 therapy sessions and group therapy. About one to two years into our relationship, he started seeing a new therapist for personal reasons. She suggested starting him on a "light" antidepressant (I'm not sure of the specific name) and, to put it simply, it made a significant positive impact on him. There were minor side effects like dry skin in the winter, but they were outweighed by the obvious improvements in his mood and mental health.
For example, prior to taking the medication, he would have what we called "breakdown" conversations about every other week. After coming home from work (which was his main stressor), he would cry and express how much he thought he was failing at his job and how useless he felt. However, after starting the medication, these conversations occurred only about once every two months, and they were much less emotionally intense. I always make an effort to listen to him and reassure him that he is a wonderful person, emphasizing that his self-perception is not how the rest of us see or perceive him.
When I sense that he needs to vent and "let it out," I lend an ear and provide support. And when I feel that he needs advice or an opinion on something, I try to offer my input while minimizing personal criticism. In other words, I don't tell him he did something wrong; instead, I attempt to show him how certain behaviors may benefit others at the expense of his own mental well-being, and I guide him on how to handle such situations in the future. As long as he remains consistent with his medication and therapy, he continues to thrive and grow both as an individual and as a partner in our relationship.
We had wonderful moments together, and I could see that he was learning to handle conflicts at work in a more detached and less critical manner. During this period, he also made the decision to pursue studies at a distance university because he couldn't envision himself working in his current field for the rest of his life. While he continued to work full-time, he now had an additional academic workload to manage. Initially, he seemed to be coping, but the added stress quickly started taking a toll on his mental health. That's when I took it upon myself to alleviate some of his burdens wherever possible. I began shouldering the majority of household tasks, such as cleaning, doing laundry, meal planning, grocery shopping, and cooking. Since I was working from home, I could tackle most of these tasks during my breaks or between meetings. However, this was the first time I started feeling more like a maid than a boyfriend. He was still stressed out by his studies and work, and I found myself juggling my own responsibilities of work, household chores, and the few hobbies I had left amidst the challenges of the pandemic. Things weren't ideal, but for the most part, we were working as a team.
However, things took a turn when he, upon the recommendation of his therapist and psychologist, decided to gradually reduce his medication. I expressed my concerns about the timing of this decision, but I assured him that I would support him regardless. After all, it was his body and his choice. He often mentioned how he disliked being reliant on medication just to function "normally" (his words, not mine). By saying this, he didn't mean that he was becoming "addicted" to his medication; rather, he simply wanted to live without them.
I told him that I understood his perspective, and as I had previously mentioned, I would stand by him. However, I also made it clear that if I observed him spiraling or struggling, I would express my concerns and recommend (not force) that he consider going back on his medication.
He began the process of weaning off his medication, but unfortunately, it didn't go well. Initially, he became more irritable (which was understandable) as his body and hormones struggled to cope without the additional support. I stopped any form of criticism or questioning, even about the smallest things (and by criticism, I don't mean saying things like "Please stop doing XX," but rather simple inquiries like "Did you fold the laundry?"), because he didn't respond well to it. After about four months of walking on eggshells around him, he experienced his most significant breakdown yet.
It started over something minor (he couldn't find his keys), but it escalated to him expressing thoughts of wanting to die. This was the first time he mentioned anything related to suicide, and it immediately alarmed me. He cried throughout the rest of the evening, and we concluded that although he still didn't want to resume taking his medication, he would discuss the mention of suicide (even if he claimed it wasn't meant seriously) with his therapist. Additionally, he decided to take a six-month "sabbatical" from his studies and requested to reduce his work hours from full-time to 80%, allowing more time for his studies and reducing overall stress. Although I wasn't thrilled about it, I appreciated that he had devised a comprehensive plan.
Things improved during his sabbatical, especially when he transitioned to working 80% one month before returning to his studies. I thought to myself, "Great, we worked something out as a team, and everything seems to be on track." Throughout this period, I continued to take on the majority of the day-to-day responsibilities so that he could make the most of this transitional time. However, during this period, his therapy provided by our healthcare system came to an end. In Europe, our healthcare provider covers therapy for a limited amount of time (typically around two years), and then there is a waiting period of nearly one and a half years before they will cover another two-year cycle. Of course, individuals are always free to pay for therapy themselves.
After he resumed his studies, things seemed to be okay for a while. He was making progress as expected and his work was manageable. However, after a few months, he experienced another major breakdown and expressed that he was more stressed than ever. He despised his job and his coworkers (who seemed to be a whole separate nightmare), and the pressure he put on himself with his studies led him to start smoking again, something he hadn't done since the early days of our relationship.
Once again, I listened to him and reassured him that we could face this together. I suggested that he could reduce his work hours even further, and I would take on more financial responsibilities (at this point, I had been advancing in my career and was earning more than him, despite working full-time). However, he wasn't keen on this idea. So, I proposed that he could always quit his job. Although he didn't outright reject the idea, he expressed concerns: first, his notice period ranged from four to six months, making it challenging to find a new job without quitting first, and second, he believed he wouldn't find a job in his current field with comparable pay (which I personally believed was complete nonsense).
I told him that if he didn't want to quit or reduce his work hours, he needed to change his attitude towards his job. He should only invest as much as he can, without overexerting himself in a place he despised, and instead invest more of his energy into his studies and finding a way out of that industry altogether. I also suggested that we could search for an independent therapist for him, but he dismissed the idea. So, for the next few months, this pattern repeated itself almost every other week. He would come home, have a breakdown, and I would listen and offer him options. He would say he would do better, but it would eventually repeat again.
He expressed his dislike for smoking and his desire to quit, and we discussed plans. His ultimate goal was to be smoke-free by his 30th birthday, which was only six months away (and we had a special celebration planned for his first week without smoking). However, he never made it to a full week without smoking, always giving in around day three. This cycle of disappointment, withdrawal, smoking again, and self-loathing repeated itself.
His breakdowns have become more frequent, occurring almost once a week. Even when he appears to be doing "okay," he is constantly feeling down. This continues for six months until he has a particularly severe breakdown and mentions suicide again, saying that he should just die. I immediately intervene and tell him that he is not doing well, urging him to make an emergency appointment with his psychiatrist and go back on his antidepressants. He agrees. During the appointment, the psychiatrist prescribes his antidepressant and questions why he is attempting to do everything at once—studies, high-stress work, and quitting smoking. The psychiatrist suggests that he starts taking the medication and postpones quitting smoking for a few months until he has had time to decompress and tries again when he is less stressed. He asks for my opinion, as he often does, particularly regarding quitting smoking. I always respond firmly, acknowledging that quitting any addiction is extremely challenging but emphasizing that it will only work if he truly wants to quit. If he does it to please me, it won't be successful, and he shouldn't place all his expectations of success or failure on me, as it is unfair.
I honestly tell him that I have personally witnessed the unhealthy cycle of withdrawal and relapse, which is detrimental to him, me, and our relationship. Although in theory, the psychologist's suggestion of postponing some problems until he resolves other stressors sounds reasonable, it also means that he needs to use the time when he is smoking to address the other problems. He can't simply assume that everything will magically improve in a few months when he quits smoking. He must actively work on the other issues during this time. He agrees and states that under these conditions, he will postpone his smoking cessation for three months and focus on his other problems, while still maintaining his ultimate goal of being smoke-free before his 30s.
Over the next few months, things improve slightly but are still far from good. It becomes evident to me that he hasn't truly utilized this time to address his work-related problems. Nonetheless, the daily ups and downs start to mellow out to some extent. The three months pass without any significant change, but he does make another attempt to quit smoking. The longest he is able to stay smoke-free is seven days, five of which were during a vacation. Apart from that, we are back to the constant mood swings fueled by withdrawal, often at my expense, or days of depression because of relapses.
During this entire journey, the mental load I had to carry started to accumulate and take a toll on me. Alongside some work-related issues, I found myself withdrawing more and more. On particularly difficult days, I tried to express my concerns, and while he would listen and show sympathy, the focus would quickly shift back to him. I began analyzing my own problems and seeking solutions. The only viable way out was to search for a new job and leave my current one.
I really liked the filed I ended up working in, but we were under new management and “learning on the Job” was our new CEOs mantra. By luck and some skill, I managed to land a job in my field at a dream company with great pay. I honestly didn't think I would get the job, but hey, reach for the stars I guess. He was very happy for me, as was I. He knew how much I disliked my old Job, and this is a rel opportunity for me. While he was very obviously happy for me, I could also see, that it kind of put a magnifying glass to his problems.
He started to question everything even more, and spouts of depression hit harder and longer. We were now back to weekly breakdowns, and the times when he was “happy” became rare and short. He now almost daily circles around the same three stressors for almost 3 months now. He is depressed by his work, he is depressed by his slow progress in his studies, he is depressed by his constant failure concerning his smoking habits. I comfort him every time and I try to help wherever I can. But between the constant breakdowns and his withdrawal fueled thin skin, I'm starting to lose sight of us. I don't feel like a boyfriend anymore and while I still love him, It's starting to feel more like a mother loves her child and less romantic love. Our sex life has dried up because I just don't see him this way right now. He recently started to say that he thinks he is a burden on our relationship and me during his breakdowns and while he is crying and saying that, I try to comfort him and reassure him that that's not true, but I'm starting to doubt my self. I don't want to lie to him in these moments and say that I think he is right, his mental health is taking a toll on our relationship. That feels like kicking someone at his lowest, but what am I supposed to do? I have mentioned more and more lately that I will pay for a therapist out of my own pocket. God knows I can afford it now, but he doesn't want that. He is weirdly focused on “doing it on his own” rather than “feeling finally better”. The weirdest part is that after his breakdowns are over, everything seems normal again. He apologizes for crying, and I tell him to stop apologizing when in reality I just want to shake him mad and yell at him to stop expecting change when he isn't changing anything and to take some accountability in his own life. In the last few days I started noticing that I get more and more angry at him for small things, and sometimes I catch my self thinking that the life we have talked about is slipping away from us.
A few days ago, he shared with me his realistic assessment of his studies and the timeline he had created for himself. It was then that I started to realize that the vision we had always talked about for our lives was becoming blurrier and less aligned. We had discussed getting married, buying a house, and potentially adopting children (depending on the laws in our country). He knew that I had hoped to make progress towards at least one of these goals before turning 30, which was only a couple of years away. He had always expressed the desire to complete his studies before any of these milestones could become a reality.
His new Bachelor's degree would potentially put him in a higher income bracket, opening up better options for purchasing a house. After completing his studies, he would be able to work in a field that brings him more joy, improving his mental health and making adoption a more viable option. He also believed that after finishing his studies, he would feel ready for marriage. Initially, I was mostly okay with this timeline, as his studies were expected to take up to four years, and we were 27 years old when he started his Bachelor's program.
However, when he recently informed me that he realistically anticipated completing his bachelor's degree around the end of 2025 or mid-2026, everything came into sharp focus. I realized that my goals would be indefinitely postponed. While I understand that this timeline may be realistic, his justifications seem hollow after the past four years we have experienced. Even if he finds an entry-level job in his new field, it would still take many years to reach a point where we could afford a house. This effectively pushes the timeline for our goals back by another 8 to 9 years.
After the last years I have a pretty good grasp what the main factors of his work related problems are and while some of them will definitely not follow him in this new field, some definitely will. So his mental health will maybe never allow for us to consider bringing kids in the mix.
And lastly the getting married part: I would be mid 30s when he will be done and feel “ready”.
Don't get me wrong, I know that you can’t plan on these things to happen according to your timeline, but now all three just feel so far away and some even impossible. I could easily accept only one of those 3 but none? I just feel lost right now. It fells like his mental wellbeing is completely tied up in whom I am as person and god forbid I come short in any aspect. This was a lot of venting and I honestly am looking forward to any advice. Right now i kind of feel numb and while I definitely don't want to break up with him, it's not like it hasn't crossed my mind lately.
Lastly: I have written a lot about the bad things in our relationship, and it is definitely biased in my favor, but it would be remiss of me if I didn't mention the good as well: He always shares his food with me when we eat out, because he knows I want to get a taste of his meal, even though he hates food sharing. He tells me he loves me almost daily. He gets up before me and gives me a kiss and says goodbye before he leaves while I'm still sleeping. He can talk about movies for hours and will always help me out when I forget a name of an actress and just start shouting movies she was in. He loves all animals (especially our fat cat). When we first started dating he couldn't cook to save his life, but when he saw that I enjoy cooking immensely he started to educate himself, so we can share this hobby of mine.
TL;DR: After being in a 4-year relationship with my partner, his struggle with mental health, including depression, has taken a toll on both of us. Despite my support, his medication changes, work stress, and smoking addiction have caused frequent breakdowns, strained our relationship, and made me question our future together.

This film follows two people who turn out to be the same person - Tyler Durden. The Narrartor is an insomniac, and discontent with the corporate, mundane job he has, attending different distress groups to feel something. He and Tyler start a fight club - a group of guys who bare knuckle brawl on Saturday nights, gaining a catharsis and ‘high’ from it. The club builds and grows eventually escalating into a terrorist group, hell bent on destroying the consumerist, possession filled lives we live. The narrator realizes the severity of what he has seemingly unconsciously created, and frantically tries to stop it, but for the banking towers his people rigged charges under, it’s too late. The Narrator kills the other side of himself - the dark, drastic and unstable Tyler Durden. He is born anew as the city explodes before him and Marla.
An absolute masterpiece the more thought and digging you do. There are so many interpretations, meanings, easter eggs and theories to derive from this movie. The more I read up on it, and do some thinking of my own, it keeps coming together in a beautiful way. I love how the ambiguity of it all is never too far fetched, never too abstract to where you’re just lost. It’s all grounded to some degree in a real and tangible world, and therefore makes for such interesting conversation and thought.
I subscribe to this: Tyler is a man who is living in a world which does not allow for traditional male emotion and roles. He works a boring, meaningless job which suppresses him in every facet of life. He seeks these distress groups to cope with these feelings and to maybe even feel close to death, like its some release from the shackles of this life (Marla almost states this exactly, which is why their characters are so similar). Tyler created an ideal, manly version of himself as Brad Pitt. A free spirit who’s not held down or held back, someone who’s edgy, handsome, smart, visceral and good in bed. He fantasized about this Tyler in every scenario, creating a version of himself that is all the things he wishes he was. Fight club seemed like a great thing for these men initially - a way to get emotion, anger and frustration out without harming others, a way to let out raw male aggression. This movie speaks to this - how in our modern world this male desire is undeniably suppressed and we are forced to be tame and comply. Forced to be monochromatic. It speaks to the importance of our true feelings and emotions. This movie also warns of the danger that could ensue if this male desire and ego goes unchecked. It is quick to cause destruction and terror. Quick to rebel and turn to extremes such as fascism. Quick to harm others and cause extreme conflict. This is the person Brad Pitt ultimately reflects, males’ darkness inside them that wants nothing more than to be free, rebellious and chaotic. The narrator on the other hand is the tame, happy to comply office worker who is scared of relationships and buys all the possessions society tells us too - he plays along. At the end, The narrator kills the dark side of himself, but doesn’t return to the bland version either - he seems to find a happy medium in the end, one where neither side of himself prevails all the time. The movie tells us throughout that males may need to play rough and let out these urges being suppressed from time to time, but moderation and control is key. In the end, the narrator did what was necessary to ensure this balance.
There is something every male can relate to in this movie. A desire to rebel? An urge to fight? A tight knit brotherhood or camaraderie? This movie takes these things to the absolute extreme to show us the dangers, but I believe it also gives these ideas breathing room and validity. Every male can latch onto something being talked about here. Maybe the extreme of bare knuckle fighting, maybe just the desire to break free from a life that keeps you down (probably a more reasonable one).
As if the story wasn’t good enough to hold up the film, David Fincher absolutely man-handled the visual style and tone. He crafted a drab and bleak color palette, hard lighting and high contrast, and stylized camera movement to reflect Tylers duality throughout. The movie succeeds in providing a dark and visceral feeling to the viewer, an uncanniness throughout, that almost makes you unable to sit still. The blood and fighting is brutal, the place these people call home is disgusting (to say the least), and all of the choices made regarding costumes, set design, lighting, props, direction and camera work comes together harmoniously to give you a complete package. A unique visual style that matches the story so well you couldn’t envision it any other way.
Oh, and also Brad Pitt absolutely stole this movie for me. Norton was great, but Brad really delivered some of the best Ive seen. He had so many punchy lines, deep monologues that encapsulate the film, and in general plays such a layered and intense character. Incredible.
Need I say any more about this movie?!

This subreddit will be joining in on the June 12th-14th protest of Reddit's API changes that will essentially kill all 3rd party Reddit apps.

What's going on?

A recent Reddit policy change threatens to kill many beloved third-party mobile apps, making a great many quality-of-life features not seen in the official mobile app permanently inaccessible to users.
On May 31, 2023, Reddit announced they were raising the price to make calls to their API from being free to a level that will kill every third party app on Reddit, from Apollo to Reddit is Fun to Narwhal to BaconReader.
Even if you're not a mobile user and don't use any of those apps, this is a step toward killing other ways of customizing Reddit, such as Reddit Enhancement Suite or the use of the old.reddit.com desktop interface .
This isn't only a problem on the user level: many subreddit moderators depend on tools only available outside the official app to keep their communities on-topic and spam-free.

What's the plan?

On June 12th, many subreddits will be going dark to protest this policy. Some will return after 48 hours: others will go away permanently unless the issue is adequately addressed, since many moderators aren't able to put in the work they do with the poor tools available through the official app. This isn't something any of us do lightly: we do what we do because we love Reddit, and we truly believe this change will make it impossible to keep doing what we love.
The two-day blackout isn't the goal, and it isn't the end. Should things reach the 14th with no sign of Reddit choosing to fix what they've broken, we'll use the community and buzz we've built between then and now as a tool for further action.

What can you do as a user?

• Complain. Message the mods of /reddit.com, who are the admins of the site: message reddit: submit a support request: comment in relevant threads on /reddit, such as this one, leave a negative review on their official iOS or Android app- and sign your username in support to this post.
  
• Spread the word. Rabble-rouse on related subreddits. Meme it up, make it spicy. Bitch about it to your cat. Suggest anyone you know who moderates a subreddit join the coordinated mod effort at /ModCoord.
  
• Boycott and spread the word...to Reddit's competition! Stay off Reddit entirely on June 12th through the 13th- instead, take to your favorite non-Reddit platform of choice and make some noise in support!
  
• Don't be a jerk. As upsetting this may be, threats, profanity and vandalism will be worse than useless in getting people on our side. Please make every effort to be as restrained, polite, reasonable and law-abiding as possible.
  

What can you do as a moderator?

• Join the coordinated effort over at /ModCoord
  
• Make a sticky post showing your support, A template has been created here you can use or modify to your liking, and be sure to crosspost it to /ModCoord.
  

Thank you for your patience in the matter,
-Mod Team

What's going on?
A recent Reddit policy change threatens to kill many beloved third-party mobile apps, making a great many quality-of-life features not seen in the official mobile app permanently inaccessible to users.
On May 31, 2023, Reddit announced they were raising the price to make calls to their API from being free to a level that will kill every third party app on Reddit, from Apollo to Reddit is Fun to Narwhal to BaconReader.
Even if you're not a mobile user and don't use any of those apps, this is a step toward killing other ways of customizing Reddit, such as Reddit Enhancement Suite or the use of the old.reddit.com desktop interface .
This isn't only a problem on the user level: many subreddit moderators depend on tools only available outside the official app to keep their communities on-topic and spam-free.
What's the plan?
On June 12th, many subreddits will be going dark to protest this policy. Some will return after 48 hours: others will go away permanently unless the issue is adequately addressed, since many moderators aren't able to put in the work they do with the poor tools available through the official app. This isn't something any of us do lightly: we do what we do because we love Reddit, and we truly believe this change will make it impossible to keep doing what we love.
The two-day blackout isn't the goal, and it isn't the end. Should things reach the 14th with no sign of Reddit choosing to fix what they've broken, we'll use the community and buzz we've built between then and now as a tool for further action.
What can you do?

1. Complain. Message the mods of reddit.com, who are the admins of the site: message reddit: submit a support request: comment in relevant threads on reddit, such as this one, leave a negative review on their official iOS or Android app- and sign your username in support to this post.
2. Spread the word. Rabble-rouse on related subreddits. Meme it up, make it spicy. Bitch about it to your cat. Suggest anyone you know who moderates a subreddit join us at our sister sub at ModCoord - but please don't pester mods you don't know by simply spamming their modmail.
3. Boycott and spread the word...to Reddit's competition! Stay off Reddit entirely on June 12th through the 13th- instead, take to your favorite non-Reddit platform of choice and make some noise in support!
4. Don't be a jerk. As upsetting this may be, threats, profanity and vandalism will be worse than useless in getting people on our side. Please make every effort to be as restrained, polite, reasonable and law-abiding as possible.

See here for the original Apple thread on this issue.

Sorry about typos, I kinda just typed out this long winded rant.
My wife and I struggle immensely financially. Back in about mid-January, my wife was talking to her sister about our struggles. Her sister told her that she might be able to help us out.
When asked how, she gave the whole speech: My husband and I recently connected with a couple that are gonna walk away from their job at 26 years old, it blew our minds. We pursued them and convinced them to spend time with us, as a matter of fact they agreed to take us under their wings and right now they are in the process of coaching and mentoring us to change the way we make money so we can accomplish similar results in our life and so we can stop sacrificing our lives for a job.
Wife responded: wow that’s crazy, what is it they do?
Got the classic response: That’d be like an hour long conversation and honestly it’s not my information to give. But basically, they teach people how to change the way they make money so it works for them so they can walk away from their jobs and retire young and stop sacrificing their life for a job. If you and your husband are both interested, I’d be willing to put in a word with my mentors the next time we speak and see if they’d be willing to meet with you?
So my wife, understandably excited, asked me if I would be willing to sit down with this couple. Me being skeptical but supportive, I agreed. So we met with this couple over zoom, her sister and husband were in the call as well, and it was a pleasant meeting. Basically went over the themes of friendship and trust, which I can understand, so no real red flags. They gave us homework in the form of a book. So we get the book and read it and the next week we meet again, went over the book, glossed over kinda what this was all about, again no red flags. More homework in the form of annoying audios this time, meet again, get more into the theme of what the business would be like. In my mind it started to seem like a pyramid scheme but they explained it in a way that catered to my hope that it wasn’t. So my dumb money brain didn’t fire off any red flags. More homework again, audios and a board plan.
The board plan was one of the most awful things I’ve ever experienced in my life. Some random dude who has a lot of money stands up in front of a group of ecstatic individuals spouting off the most egregious tripe you’ll ever hear while people go nuts like animals. I was thrown off by the board plan and a lot of the stuff they said, but I told myself, if I could just put up with all of it then it’d pay off. So the next couple of meetings and homework goes as usual and we are finally extended an offer. We were beyond excited to get out there and start building our business. I immediately start talking to my friends and family and god dammit I wish I hadn’t. I managed to get some friends on board and even got some other friends and family to start buying from me. Oh and those board plans, they are EVERY week. You also get signed up on an app called Comminikate where you have to send “kates” aka audio messages every day to your upline and downline. You are told to prioritize it but your mentors barely even respond to you.
So, it’s time. The time all WWG people await for, the time go pay tribute to the holy mecca that is: The Spring Leadership Conference in Las Vegas.
Shortly before it was time to leave for Spring Leadership, my wife had some heavy mental health issues that needed to be treated, she signed up for treatment that would require her to not go to the function due the scheduling conflict. She broke down at the thought of not going to the function because she felt she would disappoint our mentors and her sister. I reassured her it’s fine and that her health was what was most important. She called her sister, crying, saying that she was gonna go get help but getting help would mean she would miss the function. Her sister and her husband had this to say: I know you are feeling down, but if you build the business, you will feel better!
I could NOT believe what I just heard. That was a major major fuckin red flag. I told my wife to ignore that and just to do her treatments. But this is a huge intentional asshole design by WWG, they tell you that you NEED to do certain things or you get basically get shit on. Like you HAVE to spend every free moment of you waking life pestering people in public about Amway. You HAVE to be at every board plan every week. You HAVE to go to every function in your local city. They literally said if you have a funeral on the same day as a board plan or function, then you go to the board plan/function, what’s the dead person in the coffin gonna offer you? Not financial freedom! My wife missed her own moms birthday to attend one of those stupid board plans.
So it’s time for the function and I road trip out there with a friend that had just launched his own business. And man, the amount of people there was insane. But even more insane, is so many people there but so very little succeed. I saw excited person after person and all I could think of is how they were most likely only going to ever break even.
The function was ass, I hated all of it, you basically watch con-man after con-man walk up on stage and talk about how much they love you and how wealthy they are for 40mins then leave. Again, everybody goes fuckin nuts. I had the biggest goddamn headache from sitting there and listening to the same two things all day: idiots talking on stage and idiots around me opening their XS cans only to have it explode EVERY TIME.
I come back from the function and my wife tells me she’s done and that she doesn’t wanna do this anymore. At the time, I was upset, because I pretty did everything myself. I’m the one who brought people on board, I’m the one who had to go to every board plan, I’m the one who got customers, I’m the one who did pretty much everything, and to hear her wanna quit after she basically did nothing upset me. But I hate myself for being upset, I shouldn’t have been. But I didn’t fight her on it and we closed shop. Only after closing shop did I feel this immense weight lift off my shoulders. But at the same time, I felt all the shame. I would have to tell my friends and family that we quit, and to me that was massively embarrassing, after everything I talked to them about, how great I thought all this was, only to turn around and say we quit. It just makes me so embarrassed. On top of all the debt I accrued from buying their stupid ass products, I am so regretful and I wish I had trusted my gut on this. The only reason I tossed away my instinct is because I saw my sister in law doing this and placed my trust in her, only to find out once all’s said and done, she was basically trying to capitalize off of me.
But here we are, 3:42pm on a Friday, work is out and I’m finishing writing this long winded rant. I get to actually spend time with my friends tonight instead of attending a dumbass board plan and I’m not worried about all my time spent NOT going out and bugging people in public to join or buy from Amway. I’m back to enjoying life again.
Thank you to my beautiful wife who saw me struggling mentally and being the one strong enough to pull the plug on this whole shitty experience. ❤️
Fuck WWG.

It’s almost the 2 year mark so I’ve been reflecting a lot lately. Its been a rollercoaster. A year ago, this was not a happy home. We were horribly depressed, having a hard time adjusting to our “new normal”, and thought life without the Big Guy was impossible. He was our everything and our tiny little family would never feel the same. My son was not handling his dad’s death well and was engaging in self harm. The in laws of 18 years deserted us (yes, even their own flesh and blood grandson) and said I “gave their son cancer” because I was a bad wife. They even held a celebration of life/memorial and didn’t invite us. I was paralyzed with fear at the thought of just losing my husband and now possibly our son. I was alone and depressed and it was the lowest time in my life. I quit my job to focus on my son, we sold our beautiful “forever” home and moved 50 miles away to an apartment, and got some help. (To be fair, i had tried to find him help before but grief care for teenagers in my state is basically non existent.) Little by little things got better. New people came into our lives that provided emotional support and friendship when we needed it the most. New hobbies kept us busy and reminded us that we have value. Our world became more joyful as we forced ourselves to engage in life again. We reconnected, took small trips, and talked. We started to remember life before the big ugly “C” word entered and destroyed everything. We remembered that life is meant to be lived and the Big Guy wanted us to live and be happy.
Today, we are both happy and healthy. We are best friends. We have an unbreakable bond and i am in awe of everything this brave kid went through at such a tender age. There are still bad days and there are still things that trigger us both, though those triggers seem to change often. I bought a house that we love, with great neighbors that watch out for us, and filled it with new furniture. A fresh start. My son is learning to drive and is all caught up in school and will graduate on time. He is looking forward to college. He has new friends and actively pursues his hobbies. He even has a girlfriend. I start a new job on Monday. I’ve learned how to change the air filter in my house, hang shelves, change a tire, assemble furniture, and haggle with contractors (not that I couldn’t before, but ya know, you fall into your roles in a marriage and those things weren’t in my wheelhouse before). I am in a relationship with an amazing man who loves me and introduces me as “the reason for the spring in his step, the smile on his face, and the sparkle in his eye”. He cooks for us, cleans the kitchen, stays up to wait for my son to come home when I’m too tired. His family has welcomed us with open arms and his mom insists my son call her Granny like the other kids. Life is good. I still shed tears of sadness, but i more often shed tears of joy now. It has been so much pain and suffering to get here and i don’t take that lightly. I honor that journey. I know how lucky we are. I know how blessed we are. And 2 years ago I was certain life was over and I would never feel love or happiness again. “Blessed” was not in our vocabulary.
I just wanted to share for anyone else going thru it, and also thank this community. I leaned on this sub a lot in those first few months and you guys gave me the strength i needed some days. Hopefully, i can return the favor.
It gets better. Its painful and slow, and i assure you that the peace you ultimately find will be the most welcomed and deserving in your life, but it gets better. Don’t give up ❤️

Tbh I probably just don't have the job anymore, which sucks because it's a decent job, but if anyone can give me advice on what to do specifically I'd be forever grateful omg.
I started last week, went to orientation, all was fine.
But, to be honest, and ik this is probs tmi but this is the first job I've had in nearly a year due to a mental health thing that just blossomed into full-blown agoraphobia. And I thought I had it under control, and the job is lovely, my customer service skills have always been (and remain) A++, but the transition from staying at home to 'working at a public place that I cannot leave for a set amount of hours' has been a rockier one than I thought it would be.
So of the five days I've been scheduled, I've only shown up to orientation and day three -- on day two I had a massive panic attack, the kind where I all but pass out, and told Target there was a family emergency, then showed up on day three and was fine!!
But day four was bad, I would've been very late, and in my stupid panic-addled brain I figured I'd just. Show up on day five and explain. But anxiety is weird and then I felt bad about not showing up on day four so I didn't go on day five and decided 'eh I don't need the job it's fine'.
But it's been a few days, I have identified what triggered the panic, and how to avoid it better lol, and I really need this job, and they haven't technically fired me, and my next scheduled day isn't for a few days still -- but they did call me on day four and five and I didn't answer, nor have I called back, and tbh I don't know what to say if/when I do lol.
Can I just like show up on my next scheduled day and be like 'so uh. Shoulda mentioned this at orientation but I have a massive anxiety disorder and might need shorter shifts and an extra break here and there if I suddenly panic, I did not plan properly for this, but if I have those accomodations I will be the most reliable employee you've ever had, believe me.'
Should I call them?? I don't even know who to talk to lmao. Can I email HR or something? Emailing would be so much easier.
Sorry this is so long and probably too much info, and I wouldn't blame Target if they just fire me lol, but again, first job after anxiety disorder became a thing and I really am very reliable -- as long as I can kind of work my way back into working? And I know anxiety of this level is an ADA covered thing -- but I also know I should've communicated this before starting the job.
So any advice on what to do? Who to contact to try to save the job? If I should even try? (anyone who replies, ty so much in advance omg)

For the longest time now I've been trying to find myself an industrial/product design position, in like actual physical product space.
I feel like it's only getting harder and harder day by day.
Maybe it's just country specific (Czechia) but all the availabile jobs that use any of the terms such as product, industrial, design, creative are always refering to UX, building construction, software, electronics or even car seat stitching, out of all things. And none of those positions look for people who operate with rhino, inventor or blender.
I'm just frustrated at this point. Either design positions no longer exist or HR departments completely changed the naming and I'm just searching for an outdated term.
Like it can't be applied arts, can it?
BTW, if a position involves "furniture design" it's the "helping customers choose the correct overpriced kitchen cabinets from our catalog, but we actually never reply to any applicants whatsoever" type of gig.
Even the site which is hugely prominent in Czech design space (litteraly named CzechDesign.cz) has 0 positions in jobs section.
Am I out of luck here? Should I move to China or US? I don't even know where they design things anymore...
Anyway, sorry for the rant. I'm I dire need of help here :)

Hello,
I’m returning my 3 year lease in a MY and planning to sign up for another 3 years for another MY. Do you know if there are any incentives for being a returning lease customer and are there any negotiation skills I can use when signing up again?

I'm a cybersecurity/cs student and I'm in the very first stages of my first development job for a small marketing and branding firm, that builds everything in WP. I've used WP out of the box for years and have taken a few classes with PHP/SQL but I've never really dug into creating custom themes. What might I be getting myself into? Is this an out-of-date company?

I'm a 22y/o student living with my mom, who doesn't charge me rent for living with her as long as I'm in college (she can't afford to pay for any of my classes, so in return she isn't making me pay rent as long as I'm able to get myself through school).
I live in San Joaquin County.
I attend a community college and they waive my class fees based on my mom's income.
I just started a new job and I'm capped at 20hwk according to the contract w/ the city I work for. My parents don't give me any money directly; they do provide me with insurance (dental + health) since I'm still under 26, as well as pay my car insurance. I give my father money directly for my phone bill every month.
My commute to my job and school eats at my wallet (gas takes up around 40% of each paycheck) and I buy most of my own food, unless my mom offers me some of the groceries she's bought. The rest of my paycheck goes to my own groceries. I can't afford to buy clothes for my new job and I can't afford school supplies for the summer (my college only gives me grant money during the fall semesters).
I went to apply for CalFresh and it wanted me to include my mother's pay stubs. I have no idea what the fuck i am doing. Can i apply for food stamps without my mom's information? I don't think she'll give it to me, but she also can't afford to give me any money to get me by without sacrificing herself.
Are any of these details even relevant? Does anyone have any advice or anything clearly stated about CA benefits? Some of the websites are just so intensive and confusing it feels like they've done it on purpose to deter people from applying.
Thanks in advance, and thank you for reading my confused rambling
​
EDIT: Forgot to include what county i live in.

Title sums it up. I'm a Gaming Technician at a tribal casino. Basically all workers on the casino floor that interact with the customers (attendants, technicians and cocktail servers) are tipped employees. The drink servers keep their individual tips, naturally, but the Attendants and Techs have a tip pool that is split between us. Before, the split was: $5k off the top automatically goes to the attendants and the remainder was split 75/25, 25 percent being for us. This was offset by techs having a higher base rate plus more hours of overtime, generally.
Just off the gaming floor is the bank, or cage as we call it. It's a legit on site bank, and their entire job stays within the confines of their rooms, with literal bars on the windows and a sort of "airlock" they have to enter it with, I.E. like a cage. Relaxing in chairs watching people go by, shooting the shit with each other, lot of downtime when there's not guests needing to cash out. They're basically cashiers at a supermarket, that count stacks of money.
Well basically the cage has been bitching and moaning about their pay (starting $11/hr) and I feel that. They want a job that pays fairly like the rest of us. They've been complaining for years apparently and here's what happened.
Us and the attendants get called into a meeting with some people in finance and the GM. The meeting is to discuss revises to the tip policy. Here's the shorthand:
The attendants are being revised to a flat 70%, no off the top skimming anymore. Alright, sucks for them.
The technicians are being lowered to 15%. The remaining 15% is being given to the cage workers. The cashiers and bankers.
This took effect at the beginning of the year and weve lost about 300-500 per paycheck depending on how tips were doing. The cashiers are making as much in tips are I am and I'm the one at the games when they have problems and the player wants to be argumentative about the outcome when it comes back online. Or handsy.
Me and my team are beyond pissed and have been all year, at everyone and everything. Our pay was just straight reduced for no reason. The only reason I stay is because it's still higher paying than most places near me in any field I'm qualified for, but I'm still keeping a listen for an opportunity. Trying to build a network and find something better for myself. In the meantime, shits fucked and I hate the entire tribal council and every white collar fucknut that works in that goddamn building.
/rant

I know I am not going to be the first one to say this, so excuse me being a broken record.
I just finished the story and I loved every moment of it. In fact I was on the edge of my seat until the very end, not able to predict what's going to happen...ABSOLUTELY LOVED that long cutscene in the last part and I can't wait for the expansions to fight the 3 Lords of Hell again!
Act after act I started to slowly realize how much of a fan-service the game is to Diablo 2 with all the lore bits scattered around, Lesser Evils returning - lots of Mephisto appearances .... It just really made me feel like back in Diablo 2 when I was a kid...except for one thing.
WHY LEAVE OUT PALADIN BLIZZARD - Everything is back from Diablo 2 honestly for me, except the poor Paladin, just hate it that all of this Diablo 2 hype was present throughout the world but I kept asking why they left Paladin out - would have loved to explore the world with my old bro.
Now granted, Story-wise I understand our Paladin wouldn't have liked to make a pact with a certain wolf etc. but still - let a man cry for a moment :')
PS.: Also sorry Amazon fans <3