Hentai manhwa

Just a warning, this is an alt used for stuff you can guess just by my username.
I don't know how much I'll cover here, I just vented to my sleeping SO (text, long distance) an hour ago and cannot sleep
I've been doing nothing I should be doing, I should be completing my school work, but I haven't, I've been in 12th grade years now. I should be getting a job somewhere, starting my life, but no, I'd rather sit on my ass playing games on my fancy computer and VR headsets, yes, plural.
I'm being paid by children's aid for being in school, but because I am over 18 I believe they cannot check in to see my progress, which there is none of, and they will stop paying me when they find out about that, I live off the money they send, and I know my life will just go further downhill when that ends.
I live with my mother in community housing, but her leg is fucked up from a nasty fall years ago, despite knowing about the constant pain she is in, I dislike doing the dishes, it's a pain, I know I should clean them, I want to clean them, but I can't fucking force myself to clean them, I don't know how.
I don't know how to force myself to do what I need to do, but I know there is so much I need to do. I just constantly feel like shit with this weighing on my mind, and I haven't spoken to anyone but my SO about this, so I don't know what the fuck I have, if anything. I did have a therapist, but we only spoke about day to day stuff as far as I can recall, which I'm surprised I could recall at all, that was years ago, my memory has been shit, can't remember what I ate for dinner two nights ago.
Speaking of, I would rather eat three packs of "raw" pop tarts and a coffee for dinner than the only thing I know how to cook, a grilled cheese. A fucking grilled cheese. I don't know how to cook, there's a lot I don't know, I don't know how to write up a resume, or get a job, or send physical mail, or do my taxes, or anything fucking important, but I'm a pro at setting up a fucking Minecraft server, or a containerized instance of pihole to block ads on my home network, but that's it.
There is nothing I am good at that will help me in life, and I'm fucking lazy, I can't remember shit, I haven't had a haircut in months because I don't feel like getting one, I also haven't gone to pick my glasses after I got an updated prescription because I'm too fucking lazy, and my eyesight is suffering because of it, I couldn't see what the guy climbing the ladder into the tree was doing yesterday, and I was at the bottom of the tree, he was just a blue.
All I do day in and day out is play videogames, rewatch an old anime, read manhua or manhwa on asurascans or reaperscans, wait for my SO to come online and play games with her for hours.
And now onto my SO. She's the one. But I'm taking too much of her time, she wants to spend all of her time with me online, physically isn't possible right now, but she ruins her sleep schedule doing so despite working, she tries to get out of doing things with her family and friends and co-workers to do stuff with me, and I know I'm just holding her back, but she just dodges that when I bring it up with "I want to spend time with you".
It gets worse, sometimes when she does have an opportunity to do stuff with a coworker, friend or family, and there's even a hint of her not wanting to go from the way she mentions it, I'll try to make up excuses she can use, because she's just not the kind of person to lie, she can't come up with an excuse as good as I can, it's not in her to do it, just earlier today we were playing with her coworkers on a Minecraft server I had set up and sent to her with a fancy java version that runs ever so slightly better than openJDK and when she mentioned meeting up with her coworkers I sent a playful "noob giving them excuse to hog more of ur time", but thinking back on it, she 100% took that serious to some degree and I feel terrible about it.
This has happened in several ways over the years. There are issues I need to deal with, and I'm not dealing with them, I don't know how to force myself to deal with half, and the other half I legitimately do not know how to deal with, I don't know if this is depression, I don't need to fake a smile, I do smile, but I haven't cried in a while over anything serious, not in a long time, not even at my grandma's funeral, I cried after though, but because I was having another one of these episodes because I didn't cry at the funeral.
I don't know where I was going with this anymore, I can't remember. Sorry for the wall of text, and don't look at my history please, it's all just porn and hentai stuff and me pointing out bots in subs for said stuff.
Just remembered I should also add, my SO wants to spend her life with me in my country, she is in a neighboring country, but my life is going nowhere, and she knows no one here but me. This is all stressing me out.

A manhwa or hentai where mc steals his mother from her father and total ntr if you know any do recommend