I (38f) have been in a relationship with my fiance (27m) for 7 years, engaged 4 years. He was my brothers friend first and we met up at our job. He played video games all day and I listened to music and did yoga. He ate fast food only while I ate healthy. We both like anime and have a similar sense of humor. We moved in together after getting engaged. I was pregnant with our first child then. I found out after moving in together that he didn’t know how to do anything. His family cleaned and did hos laundry. He didn’t even know how to cook. So I had to teach him anything. Not the best or worse situation I figured he would man up once we had our son but that didn’t happen. He continues to play video games while I took care if the house and baby. I had a c-section too so that was horrible. I threatened to leave and he promised to do better. Then he did better but not by much. Hes lost his job different times from being late and calling in. 3 times in 1 month. I kept telling him I would leave if he lost his job again but I didn’t. Even though he lost his job again this year which makes his 5th time. Also from being late. He never takes responsibility for his actions. There’s always a reason why tgings arent his fault. He keeps saying he learned his lesson but…no. When we had our second child 8 months ago he went back to playing games all the time. He’s been doing a lot better adult wise but now he’s being more aggressive. Mostly to our son. There’s been 2 times he left bruises on him and recently he did it again. He told my mother that he saw our daughter hurt and he took his aggression out on our son. So I’m thinking about leaving him but I don’t know of I’m just being dramatic or not. If I leave, how do I go about doing it? I don’t know what to do. I just want my kids to have a good home and life. When things aren’t bad I enjoy his company but I feel like we aren’t compatible anymore. I don’t want to leave when he isn’t being mean but I also get tired of telling him to be nicer to his son. There’s some stuff I left out because of word count so if anyone needs more information then I’ll gladly answer questions.

I pulled her card from my lockbox today. I couldn’t bring myself to remove it from its wrapping though. I’ll explain the card in a little while. Even in just that briefest of moments though, the tears became too thick. I so wanted to see her name. Instead I decided to only go back to the memories. They bring enough tears. So I put the card back but need to tell my story of that memory. So thank you for your time in letting me indulge dear Reader. I know your time is precious and I am loquacious of a sort.
The place I used to work at a long, long time ago, Croc’s, was an odd duck. It was a Transformer of sorts. During the day and early evening it was a damn good Mexican restaurant. One of the best in town. Lunch was insane. Dinner was a respite. But on Friday, Saturdays, some Thursdays, and almost every holiday eve, it was… I don’t even have words. Nothing like what went on in those walls had been seen in Denver at the time. We had lines around blocks. The plural is not a mistake. On those nights, Croc’s was THE place to be in Denver. The owners got there before everyone else and had hit a jackpot with the place. The Rockies were starting over at Mile High and moving to LoDo soon. LoDo was booming and we were in the middle of it partying like no tomorrow every night.
But this isn’t about that amazing place, that’s for another day. Nope. This is about her, her son and I. Or rather, about loss and memories. But it all started at Croc’s and you needed to know what a breath of a moment in time we shared there. Not on one of those crazy nights but one lazy Sunday when we were pretty slow.
I mentioned the restaurant was an odd duck. See, it was designed so that from breakfast through dinner and into very early evening, it was a purposeful, full-fledged, extremely popular, and well reviewed dining establishment. But after that, it was designed so we could remove every table, chair, stool and booth. We essentially turned the whole restaurant into a giant dance floor with a bar that spanned half the distance of the long wall topped with massive tequila and booze pyramids. The wells were at either end with a plant potter behind them for storage. It was split level(ish) with a few VIP areas squirreled away. State of the art DJ booth on the south end of the bar. Oh and did I mention we had a 28 foot replica of a Nile croc suspended from the roof named “Hal”.
The owners were a group of friends who had grown up in the business. One of them was from the family that started Senior Frogs and the like down in Mexico. They had all met and worked at some of the hottest places in the state and been to some of the craziest places around the Americas. So when I say no one had seen anything like it, they hadn’t. We had a person that would blow tequila from a custom bong into a partier's mouth from 30 feet away. Our DJ’s were the best in town. We poached the absolute best in talent from every bar in a 4000 mile radius. That movie “Cocktail”? Yeah, that was this place on steroids. Hell, beside myself and 1 or 2 other guys, our security eventually turned into off duty SWAT cops. All these places around Denver and, hell, around the country you see now? Yeah these guys started it right there in LoDo.
It was the paper and crayons we would put on every table though where my memory begins.
There had been other places that had done what we did with the butcher block paper. It went on every table with crayons. It wasn’t the most innovative thing there but it was fun and the patrons enjoyed it. Many great artists out there! And of course the kids loved it. A lot of the folks who lived around there would bring their kids with them for lunch or dinner. I worked a lot of Sunday day shifts because a) everyone was hung over and never wanted to work and b) it was usually a nice bit of quiet after two nights that would make Caligula jealous. Plus the people who did come in were usually pretty cool and just out for a good meal. It was pretty chill after all that joyous chaos.
My section was usually the front lifted area just in front of the potters and a few tables in the middle. I was splitting with the other server that day since it was more dead than usual. A beautiful Colorado day back then. Blue sky with puffy clouds. Perfect temperature with no wind so the front doors to the small little patio were open. You could smell the flowers from across the street. The other server let me know she had sat a couple of people at one of my four tops. Sounded good so I headed out to say hello.
It was customary for us to write our name on the paper when we showed up. It was hokie but everyone loved it. It was our way of saying welcome and have fun! Some servers could do it upside down but I could never get the hang of that.
I headed down the bar toward the front, preoccupied with getting my marker out for the intro. I remember coming around the corner of the potter and just kind of coming to a juddering stop at the top step, tripping and almost falling on my face. Luckily she was a little preoccupied with her son and getting him situated so she missed seeing me make a gobsmacked fool out of myself.
I luckily regained what little balance I could alongside some composure quick enough to walk up and say hi. She said hi and then kind of waited. “Oh yeah dumbass” I said to myself as I told her, or rather flubbed, my name as I wrote it in the corner so they could read it right side up. She giggled a little bit as most people did with my nickname at the time. I hadn’t noticed but her son had been waiting the whole time for that moment. He grabbed his crayon and wrote his name and her name in front of them. “That’s a good name isn’t it?” I asked him. I told him it was the same as mine but the longer version. He was a little surprised by this as I went by “Scooter” back then. It took a second but he quickly realized it was a nickname. He had signed the long version of our name and said that’s what he liked. Right on man, you got it. Damn smart kid. You can tell, ya know?
After that briefest of moments, I shook myself a little and introduced myself for, I think the fourth time now. She tells me her name but it is instantly gone. Not only because of the effect this moment is having on me, but just because I am bad with names on the first go around. I don’t think we heard what either was saying anyway. Our eyes were locked and in that moment, it was all that mattered somehow. I can remember how deeply they shined. Her hair was a little damp and unkempt like someone in a hurry but has that respect for herself. Dark like her eyes but shining from the light outside. A simple blue/light purple and white striped shirt. Slightly damp around the shoulders. Worn jeans. Not the designer type but jeans aged with a good strong life. Blue canvas deck shoes with the white souls if I remember that part right. Maybe black canvas. I saw all this without ever breaking her gaze.
It was as if in the same moment we both realized we were in the same place together but not there alone. A moment later we both found ourselves apologizing for talking over the other. Sheepishly, like teens on their first date. Giggling a bit. Not knowing what was happening but knowing that something most definitely was. I apologized for the awkwardness and I think I cracked a joke or something but neither of us knew what to do. There was a calm panic and, I dare to say, a longing that was unknown?
It was her son who brought us both back to reality. He had asked if we had Coke or Pepsi. I shook myself internally again and told him we had Coke but could find some Pepsi if he really wanted it. Luckily he was not a Pepsi kid. I also told him that, yes, I would be happy to add a cherry to it. This time though when I met his eyes, I looked at myself when I was that age, as I answered that question. I hadn’t noticed it. Like a mirror as they say. Dark brown hair full of cowlicks. Round face with a big smile. Getting that cherry meant the world to him. I remembered that same feeling again through him. It was like looking at a version of myself I only saw in pictures.
At this very second in time I remember being terrified. Not “scared” terrified. It was more like, holy shite is this happening? What is going on? I wanted to turn and run and hide but somehow regained what little composure was left in that split second. I turned back to her and saw that she had just seen what I had seen. I could see wonder, joy, confusion, happiness, peace, thrill, fear and hope that I am sure were being reflected in my own eyes. We both needed a few minutes. We each could see it. It was overwhelming. Again, not a bad overwhelming but one of those moments where you need to put your hands on your knees and take some big, deep breaths.
The whole 3 or 4 minutes were surreal. And I will never forget them. I will fight as hard as I can to hold onto the others I have of both of them.
Somehow I managed to Charlie Chaplin myself away to get their drink order. I believe hers was a Sprite with a lemon. Normally I would go right around the corner of the plant potter and get the sodas from the guns there. Instead I went all the way to the back station. I needed to breathe. It seemed like an hour but I headed back. By this time the son was going to town. He had talent and it showed. It seemed like we had regained ourselves somewhat but the whole meal was kind of like an episode out of a teen comedy. We giggled, laughed, blushed, and did all the other things you would expect to see from two teenagers who discover they like each other. It wasn’t like I was trying to stay with them, or they tried to keep me there. It just kind of happened. I’d start to go away and she would ask me back for something simple. I would bring something I had forgotten in case they needed it. The whole meal went that way.
When they were done and ready to go, I was dreading it. Should I ask her out? She had mentioned she was single. It felt like I should ask her out. Like I said, the whole visit was surreal. There was no ring or even a suntan line of one (Don’t judge me, it was a different time). I wasn’t seeing anyone either. We seemed to get along amazingly, both her and her son. Even my fellow server noticed and was egging me on. It was obvious. Doing something like that with a client back then happened. Not usually in the first 30 seconds but you never know. I made up my mind to walk them out as I had no other tables and see what happened. I took the check to the table. She was packing her bag. I had gotten a refill for his togo cup and handed it to him. He said thank you and said he drew something for me. They had carefully torn it from the paper and he handed it to me. It was the three of us holding hands. How I held the tears then I do not know. I was a different person there at that precise point in time. At this moment those tears are here though.
I bent down to his level and thanked him sincerely. He said he was glad I liked it and he hugged me. I heard her try to stifle her gasp. Thank any or no gods or whoever for him. He let go, grabbed his Mom’s hand and said he was ready to go. As I stood up I could see tears welling in her eyes. He hadn’t done that to another man in, what she said, was a very long time she would tell me in a quiet voice as we started to walk toward the door. That was it. I didn’t know what to do. I hadn’t even noticed that when we got to the big double doors, he had grabbed my hand. It just was there.
By this time I do not think either of us really knew what to do or what was going on. I mean, this was an impromptu outing to a place her son had liked because of the paper. It was a cheap and good lunch and then off to wherever for them and another table for me while I rolled silverware in the back or stocked the empty quicks from the previous night. But it seemed like it had been years together but only moments, if that makes sense? I certainly did not know what to do at this point. I think I mumbled what a delight it was to be able to spend time with them and I hoped they had enjoyed themselves or something like that. I honestly could not tell you. By this time she had regained herself somewhat. That girlishness turned into an elegance, beauty and strength that I had not seen before. But those same feelings exchanged in that momentary glance were still there. As was still a bit of moisture along the bottom of her eyes. We made a bit of small talk till he got a bit antsy and wanted to head off.
As we said our goodbyes that day, almost at the same time, we asked our questions. I asked if she would like to come by again soon with her son. His birthday was coming up I think and I could get the guys in back to make him something special. At least I think that was it. Her’s was if it would be ok if they came back soon. You know because the little guy liked drawing and the food. More childish giggling and laughing. And before she left she gave me her card and said to call if I was going to be working again on a Sunday or just whenever. As they walked together, hand in hand down and around the corner, I just stared at them and then the card over and over.
That very card I put back in a safe place tonight.
She was a designer as it turned out. I didn’t pry into her past as it sounded like it wasn’t all that great at times. She came by the restaurant a few more times after that. I then called once or twice to say hi and how they were doing and to let her know to come by. Eventually she asked me out. We spent some time together and it started to get a little more serious. She was a few years older but not by much. She was driven and forthright. Quick witted and compassionate. And such a good Mom with a massive heart. I was young then, somewhat good looking, fairly well paid and worked at the hottest spot in the state. And I had this woman I couldn’t get out of my head. Even my coworkers knew and could see what was going on whenever we were together. Either just the two of us or all three of us. Walking on clouds was an apt statement. At this point I want to point out that while I am no saint whatsoever, I do consider myself a decent person. At least I was back then and for the most part today. Things have changed as they always do but I digress.
Eventually the moment came. The serious date. She had a small but fantastic apartment downtown and wanted to make me dinner for once. I don’t think she was done asking before I said yes. We set a date for later that week. I remember it was a Saturday because me taking a night off from that place, with all its amazing moments each night to the amount of money you walked out with each night to leaving one of the other bouncers with one of the other guys he wasn’t used to, was a pretty big deal. Had to call in favors but everyone just said go. No one there batted an eye. They all seemed to know what a big deal this was somehow.
We set it for a little later in the evening so I could get things in proper working fashion up front of the house and then head over. Any of you who have worked in a restaurant know that smell you get. Kind of need to have worked in that environment to know I guess. So that night, I didn’t have time to head home then come back. So I had a change of clothes and a vanity bag so I could clean up in the back. Wouldn’t be the first time I got sprayed down by the dishwasher but probably a first for this reason. Cleaned up pretty well, freshly shaved and quaffed, walking so far above Cloud 9 I lost track of which one I was on. Headed out to put the work kit and bag in the truck. On the way out a few who knew what had been going on smiled or waved.
And off I went. I was a little late but she said she had expected it given the night of the week. Back then, downtown Denver was different. Colorado was different. I guess everywhere was different back then. But in this instance, I mean in an architectural way. You didn’t have the towers all around LoDo as you do now. From some rooftops you could still watch a sunset over the mountains. Say what you will, even I have to admit that a purple and orange sunset over the mountains is quite possibly the most beautiful natural thing I have seen. It is immense but oh so fleeting. Just like our lives I guess. You could still hear birds and bugs over cars at times. I wouldn’t say it was peaceful but it was at least calm?
She was lucky as her apartment, though smallish, came with a hidden bonus. Her window allowed her to access the roof on the next building. A part of it anyway. But this little slice of hidden wonder allowed a view down Market Street, across Spear, over Auraria and then the mountain view. It was stunning. Like the apartment, the space was just cozy enough for two to enjoy a little rooftop barbeque and dining. She gave me the quick tour and we poured some wine. She was going through the menu as we “headed outside”. The door was a small little window. I remember scratching my head and thinking I may not fit out there. She handled it with the grace of a ballerina and said I could do it. It took a minute or two but I contorted my clumsy self outside. And she was right. It was spectacular.
Not just the view but what she had done with her little corner of peace. She had talked with the building owner who agreed that she could use this space as he didn't even know about it. It was like something out of a commercial today. A nice little seating couch type niche. Well built trellis with some small Christmas lights for effect. A little brick grilling area with a hibachi going. I can still smell it. The table with candles and dinnerware. Decking. I was taken aback. The way it was situated insulated her from the sounds down below. You could hear them but it was almost like distant white noise. It was just peaceful. I remember remarking about this. She said she discovered it by accident when her son thought it might be a good play area.
Dinner was wonderful. The night went on. There wasn’t a sense of time. Just us there in that little part of the universe that was only hers. To this day I do not think I felt that safe before anywhere nor since. Someone was letting me into one of their most sacred spots. Literally and figuratively. I felt privileged. Almost as though I was treading somewhere I shouldn’t be. I think that thought was my downfall however. Don’t worry dear Reader, you will understand all that very soon. We watched that sunset. It was perfect. The right contrast of colors. Just the right amount of clouds to change those colors ever so slightly. A reminder of how something can change for the simplest of reasons.
As night grew darker it started to get cold. The goosebumps we were feeling on each other's skin holding hands and looking at the stars weren’t just from feelings. It was getting cool so we moved inside. After safely dousing the grill and making sure the coals were in their proper place, we cleaned up. Since it was easier, I stayed outside and handed them into the house to her. We figured it would be safer for the dishes. Giggled some more as we came to realize more and more things about each other at the same time. Finally the outside was clear. I stood outside for another minute to take in what was happening. I think that is then that little bit of fear weeded its way in without my realizing it. This was as close to perfect as I could ever dream I thought.
After squeezing back inside, assisted again but ok with that, we cleaned up the dishes and opened another bottle of wine. The inside was just as cozy. At some point she had lit some more candles and had some soft music going. Light jazz if I remember. Not loud at all. Again, there, just outside the periphery. Sitting on the couch I can feel her sitting next to me. We are close. Two people holding each other wanting to believe but not sure if this is real. There was almost a vibration. The constant goosebumps were not because of the cold anymore. Once we were both comfortable and we just talked. For hours and hours. There were the intimate moments but nothing scandalous. A tenuous kiss from one to the other.
We talked about what two people talk about who truly want to know the other. I believe we asked as many honest questions of ourselves as we did of the other. We really, truly, wholly wanted to know each other. And that is what we did. The more we talked the more comfortable we felt. Each of us had our scars that were not easily revealed. Nor did we reveal all of them that night and guarded them well. But we each wanted to know if the other was someone we could trust with those deepest places that we all hide in the darkest parts of our soul.
We talked a little about her son’s father but not in depth. It was easy to see that was one of the scars. We talked about her son. Why she was so astonished that first day. My heart wrenches this very moment dear Reader upon remembering that. Her hopes for him. His likes and his dislikes. Some of the stories parents tell others to embarrass their children later in life. We talked about what futures there could be not for us but for him and his world. He really was an amazing kid and I am sure has grown up to be someone she can be proud of. Time did not exist that night. Feelings and thoughts were exchanged that did not need to be said. We just knew each other that night.
We never did finish the second bottle if memory serves, we talked, laughed and sat together in peaceful comfort and gave no care about anything else. But tomorrow was coming as it always does and we had to leave each other. I remember the closeness as we held each other. The pressure of two bodies at that singular moment in time. That one instant that feels as though it could last through infinity. When two become one and feel the safety, love, compassion, trust and sameness that is rarely, if ever experienced.
Pardon me dear Reader but must ask a moment to compose myself. We are getting close to the end of my tale so also ask for just a bit more of your time. I know how so very precious it is. Thank you for allowing me to continue.
I do not know how long we held each other. To this day I wish it had been so much longer however. I do remember leaving. Working where I did, I was sadly but actively very familiar with many different levels and types of inebriation. That feeling that morning however was something that surpassed all that I had experienced in my life. I had never felt like this. I knew that the sun was starting to come up as I parked my car. I knew that I got through the door, downstairs and then fell asleep. I wasn’t drunk. It was pure. A pure love, happiness, joy and trust I had never felt from someone else. This feeling was so powerful it had knocked me for a loop that I just was not ready for.
I awoke later that day, thankful I didn’t have to work. It was late in the afternoon and I felt like I had been hit by a bus but didn’t care. I believe that the night before we both had excised many things that we had held inside for so long. I could (and can) still remember the whole night if not the words. I felt like one does after you give everything physically possible to something and have nothing left to give. But it felt right. Regardless of the ending, I do believe that, even though brief, that night, two people who had needed to find each other did. I think they needed to know that there was at least one person who understood, even if they hadn’t needed to actually say anything.
Now dear Reader I must ask you to remember that part about fear. Given my early life and life up to that point and to this day, I do find it very hard to trust. So this was something I had to confront. And so I started to. Instead of seeing what she saw in me, I saw the things I thought were ugly. I got scared that those scars would be peeled away and she would be repulsed. And these thoughts and fears grew. We still saw each other and talked for a while after that night. But my fear took over quickly. Before I knew it I had driven her away. There was no maliciousness about it. The thoughts that had ruled my life for so long before her and then after her, to this day, always got to the same thing. If you let her in, she will leave because of who you are. It was idiotic but it was ingrained at this point. I eventually told her I didn’t think it was going to work out. The truth was that I was scared. Scared to let her in. I hated myself for not being honest with her. She would have understood. Probably more than any other.
After that, I went on with my life as a young person does in that atmosphere. I saw her one time after that final talk. She waved as she and her son sat in a section away from mine. I waved back and remembered going out back and beating the hell out of our cooler there. I was so mad at myself then. While the anger passed as life threw one thing at me after another as it does until I find myself here today writing this, the pain of losing her has never healed. Nor do I want it to. That pain also brings memories that I so rarely experience anymore. I buried it for a long, long, long time but recently I find myself thinking about her and her son more and more. What would have been?
For you see dear Reader, that moment was my perfect chance. Not long ago in my life I was diagnosed with cancer. I eventually beat it but it has long since ruined my life. But that is not why I tell this tale. I ask for no sympathy. My life is where I am supposed to be. I have come to peace with that. To an extent I guess anyway. The reason it was my perfect chance is this. I was also diagnosed with a genetic defect which essentially makes me a cancer producer with no natural way to fight it. My mothers father died of colon and pancreatic cancer. My Mother has beaten 5 different bouts of cancer. I have been tested and confirmed. So if I had had a child, I would more than likely have passed that to them. After listening to what my mother watched her father go through. After watching my own Mother fight this monster 5 times and win each time. After all that I was horrified to learn that I could have passed this monster to someone I would have loved with all my heart.
I never married and never had a child. For most of my life I regretted that most of all to the point of shame. I am the last person in my familial lineage that will ever carry my name. My line dies with me. For the longest time that has been a great burden. However, after the geneticist confirmed me and a great deal of internal contemplation, with the aid of hindsight, part of me is glad that I never had a wife and child who would have to go through the horrors I have heard about, watched and gone through first hand and personally. That at least brings me a modicum of inner peace. Do not be fooled ever though. This monster is evil. It takes everything from all but the luckiest.
And I had my moment of perfect chance. Even though I did not know it at the time, I had an opportunity to spend the rest of my life with two someones who I truly believe to this day, loved me. Even if for so very briefly. I gave up the chance to be able to be a husband and care for someone I believe I loved and loved me. I had a chance to be the father I wanted to be without passing on my monster. To see a child grow into their best self. I get angry at times that I did this. Not necessarily my own selfish needs. I am also mad that this person trusted me and I couldn’t do the same in the end. That I let a child down who for his own reasons let me in when he shut others out. That we could have been the family we could have been. And I ran because I was scared. I can never forgive myself for doing that to them. This may sound selfish and perhaps it is but it is my history.
And now dear Reader we come to the end of my tale. Where it all began.
Her card.
I think you will understand why I put it away instead of taking it out after this. I mentioned that she was a designer. Her card is exquisite. I don’t need to see it to describe it. There is a silver cord ribbon wrapped around a waxed paper tied in a bow. It sparkles silver but is brittle after all the years. I can slide the card out carefully but don’t want to take a chance of damaging it. My hands aren’t the best anymore. The writing on the card is done with a most excellent penmanship in purple over white with black. The backing is white with the black used as border highlighting with purple as the border and main color. There is a bit of sparkle in one of the purples but not a garish amount. Just enough to catch the eye. The back is similar with details of her work at the time as well as some contact information. I don’t know if she did this on all of them, but there was a scent of her perfume that accompanied it for a while. It, like much else, has faded.
We all have a place to keep our most precious items. This one rarely leaves that place for me.
So in the really bad times dear Reader, I try to look at that card. I say try because it is very painful to try to do so. Today was one of those days and I wanted to share it. In the end I couldn’t get past the tears to look at it so returned it to its safety. Not really because of the pain. Believe me, the pain is there in vast amounts. But because of that first moment. I needed to remember what that feeling was like. I needed to remember what it is to look in another's eyes and see the whole universe and all its infinite possibilities. Some regrets, regardless of time, will always follow you. Be honest about that with yourself dear Reader. Today I needed to remember her and him. I needed that acceptance. That peace. That joy, That trust. That love.
This time however I needed to commit this to our history so that perhaps at least one other will read it and maybe it will impact somehow. This is not meant to be a moralistic tale. It is just a tale of love lost. A life that could have been different. I hope, dear Reader, that your life is filled with wonder and love. Do not miss a single chance in your life because of fear. Be cautious but be open. Your world is massive but also miniscule. The chances don’t happen often anymore so grab them and hold onto them when you can. Try to think of all possibilities and look through others' eyes. But most importantly. If you do find your perfect moment, do not let it go dear Reader. It may never come again.
That is the end of my tale. I thank you so much dear Reader. As I have said many times, your time is precious and I have taken enough. Safe journeys to you my friend.

Just like the title says what are good ways to catch up with an old friend… in a causal non date way lol?

I’m back again! Unfortunately, I didn’t find anything except ghosts and people who don’t really know what they want. I can’t believe I have to say this but I am not here to just dirty talk with you so if you are looking to just flirt with someone please move along, I’m looking for a real connection! I have not had excellent luck with love, I’ve been single for a very long time searching for that one who ticks most or even just some of the boxes and I am seriously looking for long-term rest of my-life type thing... So please only reply if you are SERIOUS about dating and know what you want. Where I live everyone is super outdoors oriented and I am quite an introverted homebody who likes video games and cozy nights at home. Online dating apps have been a complete bust due to this, so here I am on Reddit. If you don’t have a good post history on your account you will have to make sure you write a great intro message telling me about yourself or I probably won’t reply. I was almost catfished a while ago so please also send a picture.

• 36, just shy of 5"11, short brown hair, blue eyes, trimmed beard. Kinda like a big ol' bear. Or at least I have been told I have a Papa Bear look whatever that means. This is me
• BC, Canada - I won’t give too much away about my location yet but I am in The Okanagan in BC. Seattle is about 6 hours away from me and Vancouver is about 4 hours away.
• No kids - I'm not sure if I want them but open to it if my future partner doesLoves animals, especially big doggos - I had to put down my German Shepherd of 12 years in December and it was the toughest thing I've ever had to do. I have a new puppy! 4-month-old Golden Retriever, expect pics and videos of him!
• Super nerdy - Most of what I do is play video games so if you could join me in that, that would be great especially if we are unable to hang out in person often. I love talking about gaming and gaming-related news.
• Dad bod - Maybe a little bit more than that but I am working on getting it down. I understand that’s not everyone’s cup of tea but it is what it is!
• My taste in music is all over the place. From Video Game Soundtracks & Remixes, Lo-fi, 80's, Rap, Country, Rock, I like pretty much all of it but if I had to pick my top ones I would say Melodic Metal (Amaranthe, Ad Infinitum, Follow the Cypher), and Rock.
• I will always be respectful and treat you kindly.
• Homebody - I don’t really like going out all the time or being outdoors a lot. An issue I’m having is finding someone whose whole identity isn’t hiking, camping, & fishing. I like taking my puppy for walks and to the dog beach though.
• Depression & Anxiety! - Yup me too! Seems to be common among gamers and most people on the internet. Maybe the internet is the problem hmmm... Anyway, support of mental health awareness is a must, and non-judginess (that's not a word) is a must.
• No drugs! - I don’t do any drugs and do not even smoke weed. I don’t care if you smoke weed just don’t let it be your personality lol
• Rarely drink - the last drink I had was over a year ago, I don’t care for it but I will have a drink rarely.
• Non-religious - I don't really believe in any one thing and don't really like it when people are too religious. Religious usually means judgemental. I would really prefer it if religion was not an important factor in your life.
• Supportive - I will be your personal hype man and emotionally support you for almost anything!
• Hopeless romantic - I like to say cheesy things and I probably fall a little too easily.

Now, what about you? What am I looking for? Well...

• 25-40 years old - I don’t think I’d go more than that age range. I have a silly joke book of "The Bro Code" from How I Met Your Mother and in there, it says the youngest you should date is half your age + 7 so I tend to go by that. I have a sister whos 23 so too young would be weird.
• Nerdy - At least even a little bit? I’d love to play video games together, even if you aren't super into them as long as it's something we can sometimes do together. Even if it's just Mario. I would really like it if you also play Diablo 4 since that is what I am mainly playing at the moment and would love to be able to play together.
• Tattooed - obviously, this isn’t actually needed, it’s just really attractive
• Effort - This one is huge. I don’t like to be the one to send the first message all the time. Please be able to hold a conversation. I don’t want to be the one asking all the questions and keeping the conversation going.
• Kind - Treat people kindly in general. Not just me. So much negativity in the world I would really like someone that likes to spread kindness and smiles. Also as I said, don't be judgy.
• This one is difficult to explain because I don’t want to seem mean but I don’t find myself attracted to big women. I always hate saying that but there are people who like big women or small women and everything in between. My attraction ranges from petite to curvy. You don’t have to be a gym rat. In fact, I would prefer it if you weren’t a gym rat. I try to keep telling myself it’s okay to have preferences because I do feel bad for ever mentioning it.
• I don’t care how much you have or make and you really shouldn’t care how much I have either.
• Open - I want us to be able to talk about EVERYTHING together. Obviously, this takes time but I have anxiety and don't want to be constantly thinking something is wrong because you are always vague.
• Loves to give attention - This probably goes with the effort thing but I love getting attention. If you give it you get it. I don't care if you seem needy, I might even like that! Just don't be all jealous and controlling. I want to feel like I matter. I want someone that wants to put time and effort into me and I will return it. I like waking up to cute messages you have left or just something that tells me you’ve been thinking about me.

It probably seems like I am looking for something a little TOO specific but as I said before you don’t have to check all the boxes. Sometimes you just click with someone and the attraction is just there but I have yet to find that.
I am not interested in anyone from another country! Unless it's pretty close like Seattle, Washington but I primarily want someone in BC, Canada, or at least within 6-8 hours of me like Alberta or something, and you must be willing to travel. I’m just not very good with long-distance unless we are constantly talking and doing things together, so I don't want anything further than that unless you have the resources to visit me often. I don’t really want to leave BC so hopefully if you aren’t within this area then you are willing to relocate in the future. I just want someone who will talk to me every day, send each other memes and music, and do stuff together like best friends would.
This was a lot longer post than I thought and I hope that doesn’t scare people away. I’m just really exhausted with online dating. Thanks for reading my long post! If any of this sounds good to you please feel free to message me and tell me a little about yourself. I’d like you to include a picture too since I’m so cautious now.

I went to a happy hour for graduates of my university. I had a great time and met a lot of new people. As I was leaving, another person was leaving and we walked part of the way home together. (Same gender as me, and we’re both straight.)
The person emailed me the next day, suggesting that we get together for a drink and suggested some locations. I wrote back, and the person wrote back, both trying to pick a time.
Then I responded two more times. No response from the person.
Two months later, the person responded, suggesting that we meet for a drink this weekend, and asking if the person could “pick” my “brain” about possibly moving into a new home roughly in my neighborhood.
Being friendly and meeting people is usually a good thing, but in this case, this seems purely transactional: the person wants feedback about real estate and was rude by ignoring me (after I simply responded to the person’s invitation) and didn’t even apologize.
I don’t need more friends, but another friendly acquaintance is a good thing, for possible career benefits as my university’s alumni network is very valuable for business.
Would you accept this invitation (for a drink this weekend) or decline, thinking (but not saying) that person should go take a hike?
Thanks.

June 19th, 327
We decided to construct some more structures to take care of the refugees that we rescue, assuming that this goes off without a hitch. Augustine asked Elock about the collar and she revealed that the collar had a size changing enchantment attached to it. Once the seven day period is up, the collar will shrink, crushing her airways which would instantly kill her. So Augustine teleported her back quickly which would kick step one of our plan into gear.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
cut to Elock’s pov
Shopkeeper: Hello welcome t- oh! Welcome back sir!
A: Hey there! Project took longer than expected, but luckily an extra set of hands makes heavy work pretty light!
Shopkeeper: What can I say? She’s one of the best. And also sir, if you don’t mind me asking, what were you working on? I didn’t see you anywhere in town.
A: oh- uhh I’m from the town over!
Shopkeeper: Are your memories already slipping? I paid the town next to us a visit to chat business with a friend and I never saw any structures being constructed.
A: I- I live at the far end! Perhaps you missed it.
Shopkeeper: …Alright then. have a nice day sir.
A: …you too…cya
exits
Elock: humming hm, hm, hmmm! walking towards the back
Shopkeeper: Elock…
Elock: eep! Yes sir!
Shopkeeper: Would you mind telling me what you 2 were doing?
Elock: oh! Just a house for his extended family. Nothing special.
Shopkeeper: “just a house”? Alright then…you’re off for the rest of today…go to the slave house. takes off her collar
Elock: Thank you! runs off
Shopkeeper in thought: …those eyes…they seem to both see nothing and everything at once.
Shopkeeper: I’d appreciate it if you’d look into it a bit sir.
“…”
“Very well, I’ll inform my boss about it and I’ll get to your problem right away”
Shopkeeper: thank you sir
Lulio: huh…very well then, it’ll be well worth your time I believe…
“Thank you sir”
Lulio: I think you’ll do well…Akano
Elock: bursting into the slave home owned by the shop keep Woo! Man that was nerve wracking, for a second I thought he was gonna catch on!
Thoughts: Alright! Now! Time to get on with this operation! Augustine’s counting on me and I can’t let him down!
plops down next to fellow slave
Elock: whispers hey!
Slave: eh?
Elock: um…I- words dying in her throat
Slave: …
Elock: ah- mm… you wanna get out of here?
Thoughts: Why did I say that?! I’m so stupid!
Slave: …you know they’re gonna send us back here again instantly right? Cute dream but it’s just that: a fantasy. gets up and leaves
Elock: hey, wai- sad sigh
next day
Another slave: Nice fantasy…leaves
Elock: getting demoralized
Slave: potentially losing my life by going with your outlandish proposal is a risk I’d rather not take.
Elock: defeated
the next day
Shopkeeper: Hello again sir! Another project I presume?
A: yup! I’d like to take the same slave again, she really made the work quick.
Shopkeeper: good choice! rings bell ELOCK! Get your ass over here! The nice gentlemen wants your services again!
Elock: hey A- Sir…
A: Nice to see you again. tosses gold onto the counter and leaves
A: So how'd it go?
Elock: no one was on board with the plan. They all claimed it was insane and had no conceivable way of working!
A: Expected. Not everyone has the same high risk-high reward mindset, c'mon let’s get to Zach first and then we’ll build off from there. teleports
Z: hmmmm I understand, they’re scared, they've only known brutality and slavery their entire lives. They fear that if this goes south, then they’ll be subjected to a fate worse than death itself.
Elock: look of guilt
A: I’m fully aware of the dangers that come with this. But we do get discovered, I’ll gladly take on every army they throw at me if it means that you guys would survive.
Elock: Augustine!
Z: We know how much you wanna help them Augustine, but you don’t have to take on a mountain on your own. We’re both here for you.
A: right…sorry.
Elock: please, it’s alright. We can figure out some other way. Knowing you, you’ll be able to craft something before dinner.
A: I’ll take that as a compliment. Thanks Elock.
Z: Augustine.
A: yes?
Z: Are you familiar with the concept of mental projection?
A: Somewhat, they briefly skimmed over it in training back at the facility. The art of projecting imagery into other people’s mind on the battlefield to mentally erode them.
Z: precisely, but instead of breaking will, we’ll be building it.
A: What are you saying here?
Z: What if instead of trying to get slaves to get on board via words, why don’t we let them see for themselves what waits for them if they comply?
Elock: That’s genius! When they see the paradise that could be in their hands, there’s no way they can turn that down!
A: not a terrible idea, but I don’t think I have the chops to project an image into the mind of every slave in town, my skills in that department are unfortunately pretty lacking.
Z: Why don’t we go to the island again so you can familiarize yourself with the image you’re projecting, then use the mana crystals to give yourself some extra power?
A: Smart move, let’s do it.
exits cabin
A: Alright, time to go.
teleports both of them
A: Okay let’s get down to busine…where are we?
(Instead of being greeted with the base of a mountain range, they were still in the forest. Miles away from the cabin.)
Z: I- I don’t know!
A: I didn’t do anything different! But it’s alright, I remember the direction to go in, we can still fix this.
Elock: Alright then.
10 minutes of walking later
A: Get a move on Zach! We’re almost there! Shouldn’t be much farther!
Z: Hah…I- losing his breath how are you- how are you 2 still so energetic?
Elock: I’m a leopard. I'm meant to be agile!
A: This anti magic field’s edge shouldn’t be more than a few more minutes away! We should be out in about…NOBODY MOVE!
Elock and Zach: freezes in place What's wrong?
A: …we’re not alone. Someone else is here!
Elock: I don’t hear or smell anyone else besides you guys. Are you sure?
A: Yes I’m sure! I can sense another source of energy here!
???: I would say I’m impressed that you managed to detect me since I pride myself on being able to move like a shadow…but I sort of expected this with talent like yours.
Akano: Hello Augustine, been a while hasn’t it?
A: Akano? What’re you doing here…
Akano: boss sent me to hunt you down, anonymous source requested it.
Augustine thoughts: No doubt it was that shopkeeper.
Akano: Now since we’ve spent some time together, I’ll give you 2 choices. You can drop your sword and come back with us unharmed, or I paint this forest a lovely shade of red with your blood an-
A: Bring it on…
Akano: hm. As you wish…
~~~~~
Akano dashes towards Augustine with lightning speed, expecting to end this quickly.
Akano: WIND GALE CUT!
An explosion sends a strong gust of cutting air across the forest. Zach and Elock took refuge behind a thick tree, powerless to do a damn thing to help.
Akano: oh ho! Quick on your feet are you?
Augustine who dodged into a tree: guess you can say that.
Akano: Well, I guess it’s time to turn this up a notch! pulls a strange amulet, with a large red gem resting in a gold frame
Augustine: hm?
Akano: Master Lulio entrusted me with this and I won’t let him down!
The amulet begins to glow once Akano puts it around his neck, The energy being given off was palpable from a mile away, to the point it could be severed with a knife.
Akano: CURSED GALE FURY!
The attack sends multiple large scale wind slices through out the area, yet even with this jump in power, Augustine doesn’t seem fazed with him perfectly dodging and blocking every slash as Akano watched, perplexed
Augustine: Your display of power is impressive. I'll give you that.
Akano: Keep talking little brat, the power contained within this amulet is beyond even your understanding!
Augustine: Oh really? What evidence do you have to back that theory up?
Akano: WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY?!
“What I’m saying is that even though you claim that this amulet is never before seen, you haven’t managed to land a single hit yet.” Augustine sneers.
Akano: beginning to seeth in rage
Augustine: In fact…you seem to be the most injured one so far…
Right on que, a small cut appears on Akano’s face as he looks up to see that Augustine blade is stained with his blood with a small smirk beginning to form on his face.
Akano: …You’re dead meat…
Akano launches towards the tree as Augustine simply leaps into another tree as it gets cut down, Akano sends jets of cutting wind at Augustine but he simply blocks or avoids them with seemingly zero effort. What confuses Akano even more is why he isn’t fighting back, with the worst attack he’s thrown so far being a small cut.
Akano: What’s wrong?! WHERE’S ALL THE TALK NOW HUH?!
Augustine: still dodging …
Akano: SPIRALIZING SWORD PIERCE!
Akano attempts to piledrive Augustine with his sword and successfully impales him through the chest.
Akano: GOTCHA! THIS IS THE EN-
The Augustine on his sword dematerialized as the real Augustine appears next to him
Augustine: Hey, nice effort.
With a swift kick, Augustine sends Akano flying into the trunk of a tree. Instantly causing him to cough up blood.
Augustine: I never wanted it to end this way, I apologize but this was your own doing.
Akano: barely mustering enough strength to stay conscious don’t think you’ve won yet brat…I’M FAR FROM DONE!
The amulet begins to glow a furious red as Akano leaps into the air, as he prepares to pour every last drop of his remaining strength into this attack as a last ditch effort to take Augustine down.
Elock: Is…is he gonna be alright?!
Z: Augustine has a knack for worming his way out of sticky situations, but I’m nervous even with the power he holds.
Akano: FINAL FLASH FLURRY!
Akano unleashes a maelstrom of erratic sword slashes down towards Augustine, even faster than before. Augustine increases his speed to match but still gets 2 large cuts across his torso and arm. Seeing this Akano smiles and picks up his pace, confident that he would kill him.
Akano: LOOKS LIKE YOU’RE THE INJURED ONE NOW.
Augustine: slightly pressured and tired look from dodging so much
Akano: NORMALLY I’D GIVE YOU A CHOICE TO SURRENDER RIGHT ABOUT NOW! BUT SINCE YOU HAD AN ATTITUDE I'M KILLING YOU RIGHT HERE RIGHT NO-
Akano’s face changes from glee to horror as he watches Augustine blast a tree with a fireball to launch himself to his position. Augustine was now no more than a few feet away from him and there was no way he could raise his sword up to block in time. “This is it” he thinks “This is how I’m gonna go out? Taken out by a boy turned monster?”. Everyone holds their breath as they wait for the killing blow where they watch Augustine raise his sword up to Akano’s neck, waiting for the splatter of blood to rain down on the trees…but it never comes. Instead of beheading Akano, Augustine slams the edge of his sword on the chains of the red amulet, breaking it. The amulet drops towards the forest floor and Akano’s power instantly fizzles out. The amulet clatters onto the ground as Augustine gracefully lands in a tree with Akano falling hard on his side.
Akano: I- trembling and confused at what just happened I’m alive?!
Akano looks up to see Augustine holding his amulet, looking at him, not with rage…but sympathy.
Akano: I’m…Why didn’t you kill me?!
Augustine: Because I’m not like you, slaughtering people just to fuel your own ego.
Zach and Elock observe the confrontation, in awe.
Akano: Don’t come at me with that moral high ground! And I’m not done yet! grips sword
Before Akano could draw his blade, Augustine appeared in front of him holding a device in his hands.
Augustine: So this was the reason why I couldn’t teleport. slashing the black, rune carved tablet into bits
Akano: …feeling panic wash over him
Augustine: Just…do something for me alright?
Akano: looks on with confusion
Augustine: Just…try to be a better person after you get out.
Before Akano could question what he meant by “get out” Augustine pressed his finger onto Akano’s forehead and at that moment, Akano felt something he hadn’t felt in a long time: relief, like all the burdens of working for the grand Templar suddenly couldn’t touch him anymore. Still in this feeling, Augustine focused his energy into Akano, teleporting him away. Akano awoke on a strange beach, confused.
Akano: gah…what…happened? What did he even do? That sensation, it felt…good. Now where am I-
Basitin: HALT!
Akano: ah!
Basitin 1: How did you get on our island stranger?
Basitin 2: take him to the king, he’ll know what to do.
Akano: Basitin…KING?!
~~~~~
Augustine: sigh of relief with his wounds almost done regenerating That was scary, I’ve never been in a real fight before, he was stronger than I thought he’d be. turns to Zach and Elock you guys alright?
Z: Augustine…That was…
A: what? Why are you looking at me like tha-
Elock: INCREDIBLE! pounces on him the way you effortlessly dodged almost all of his attacks was so cool! And the way you took him down was just like in the fantasy books!
Z: Elock let go! You’re gonna squeeze him to death!
Elock: oh! Sorry!
A: It's alright, though maybe I should stop performing those feats in front of you then.
Z: So Augustine, where should we head now? A clearing with torn up trees isn’t exactly what I call subtle.
A: They’re gonna come looking for him by following his amulet’s energy signal. Disposing of it is what we should do, but there are some properties of it that I wanna explore so… grabs his sword and smashes the gem, taking a small chunk to observe at the cabin
A: alright let’s get this out of here. focusing his energy onto the amulet, he teleported it away to a place that no one would find it. No one at all. No sir
Smol basitin child: Hey! What’s this shiny red rock?
Another child: don’t know.
Smol basitin: whoa! It shoots fire, and the warmth feels so nice and…intoxicating…
A: They still might find this carnage though, heading back for the day I think is the better idea.
Z: well if you say so then.
A: Luckily with that device destroyed, I can teleport again.
Elock: let’s get out of here then!
A: very well. teleports
later that night
Z: Augustine you doing alright?
A: yes I’m fine, tomorrow it’ll look like these injuries were never there.
Z: No I was talking about your feelings, I thought you’d be demoralized after that attack.
A: quite the opposite actually, it felt good letting some of my feelings out in that battle.
Z: I see. I was expecting you to actually kill him, but was surprised when you just broke his necklace.
A: Guess the memory 2 guards I slayed in the facility during the escape still burned a bit.
Z: I understand.
Augustine’s thoughts: goes back to a conversation he had with Elock years ago
~~~~~~
Young Elock: Augustine, how do you define a hero?
Young Augustine: hm?
Young Elock: I read a lot of fantasy and mythology books about epic battles and legendary heroes, what’s a hero to you?
Young Augustine: That's a pretty subjective question but I don’t think I’m the right person to answer that. I’ve always defined heroes as people who can take the villain down and nothing more.
Young Elock: I guess you can say that.
Young Augustine: So how do you define a hero Elock? Might as well get a second opinion.
Young Elock: Oh! Um! I’ve always believed that heroes are people who can both save the day, and send the villains down the brighter path. Not through power but through words, not simply killing them.
Young Augustine: Huh…that’s a new concept, pretty cool. I’ll give it some thought.
Young Elock: Thanks!
~~~~~~
“Am I really a hero doing this?”
Elock: Augustine. You ok? You look lost.
A: snaps back huh? Oh right, sorry I was daydreaming.
Elock: disappointed that the plan failed?
A: I- yeah I suppose so.
“Well perhaps I can help with that”
A: Who said that?!
Z: Elock was that you?
Elock: I didn’t say that.
“It was me!”
Everyone looks around the cabin to see who’s talking.
“Oh my masks…HEY! IDIOTS! DOWN HERE!”
Everyone looks down to see…a white cat?
Z: a cat?
Elock: awwww! It’s so cute!
A: Oh it's you again. Hey there.
Z: Wait Augustine was this the weird cat I saw in the forest a while back?!
“Have some respect, Doctor! I’ll have you know that I have the ability to take your insides to the outside!”
Z: Who the hell are you anyways? And what are you doing here?! And how are you creepily talking inside my head?!
“Well if you insist”
“My name is Nora, or Lady Nora”
Z: shudders L- Lady Nora?! PLEASE FORGIVE MY RUDENESS!
Nora: oh please, get up from the floor already! Do you seriously deal with this guy everyday?
A: Normally he’s calm and collected. Guess in the presence of superiority he’s pretty shy.
Nora: typical humans.
Elock: Excuse me, lady Nora! But what are you doing here? Don’t you have more important business to take care of?
Nora: Dragon duties get pre-tty boring after a while, so I’m always looking for new stuff to do.
Elock: but that only answers one question! What are you doing here?
Nora: to help…duh.
Elock: really?
A: huh?
Z: what?
Nora: Yeah, I’m here to help. What?
Z: Is this a trick?! Are you waiting for us to reveal our plans to you just for you to tell the grand Templar?!
Nora: Are you deaf? I JUST SAID I'M HELPING YOU! And besides! I already know about your plan! Jeez your mind is easy to peek into!
A: Why are you helping though? Surely there are more interesting things you could be doing…not that we’re turning down your offer though.
Nora: Why does anyone do anything? When you get to my age everything’s pretty boring.
A: yeah…don’t think we’ll be getting there anytime soon. But how do you plan on helping? I mean I get how much power you hold but what can you do to benefit us?
Nora: You'll know it when the time comes. I’ll need a few days…and also! manifests a key out of nowhere for your buddy’s collar over there.
A: Oh! Thank you! Elock! You’re free now!
Elock: picks up Nora and presses her against her face Thank youuuuuuuu!
Nora: ACK! Get off me! I know you’re happy but limit the physical touch!
A: how’d you even get the key anyways? I thought that the shopkeeper held the sole copy!
Nora: oh! It was simple really, just made him a deal where for the key I show him uhh ahem a “pleasurable” fantasy if you know what I mean.
A: oh…OH…
Nora: right…anyways. I’ll be ready when you guys need me. Once you get your crap together I’ll be ready.
Z: very well then.
June 20th, 327
~~~~~
Zach wakes up to see Augustine sitting at his desk, tinkering with the red crystal sample seemingly puzzled and intrigued at once. Elock is still asleep on the bed as Augustine let her have it.
Z: what’cha doing there?
A: oh! Hey Zach! I’m just testing this sample I got from Akano’s amulet and it’s pretty interesting. First off, the size of the crystal never seems to shift no matter how much I use it, with me charging energy into one of our slabs of steak and the crystal never changes size at all! What I’m more curious about is the steak. I used my sword to cut it and to my amazement it started healing the cut right before my eyes, so in essence I imbued that piece of meat with my regenerative properties! Unfortunately it didn’t last long as the high amount of energy destroyed the steak’s cells and quite literally liquifying it!
Z: interesting…
A: But that does raise some red flags unfortunately…
Z: why’s tha- oh…you don’t mean…
A: yeah…that means that one day…I might befall the same fate. But when? I don’t know. And I don’t wanna think about it.
~~~~~~~~~
To be continued…

Ever since I started watching RWBY in early 2022 I enjoyed the show from the start, I was on vacation, nothing better to do and heard about RWBY so I binged it. It became my favorite anime and as I looked for videos, analisys and discussions through the internet I genuinely couldn't understand why so many people hated post volume 3 when volumes 1 and 2 were my least favorite ones, I was so bombarded from discussions about how bad RWBY became after volume 3, how people stopped watching mid volume 4-5 that I started thinking "yeah its bad, but I still really like it". That changed when I presented RWBY to two friends of mine from college, lets call them Al and JP.
Al and I watched RWBY together via google meet as we sometimes watch things the other recommends together to discuss about it, anyway, during the first two and half volumes I could feel that Al was kinda enjoying but not that much, he didn't dislike it as we usually say when we are not liking the show so we stop watching, but he kept going, watching around 4-5 episodes per weekend and so on, until we reached volume 3. After volume 3 I felt he really got excited, the next weekend we watched almost the entire volume 4, then in the next one the entire volume 5, then he was calling me to watch more mid week to the point we watched volumes 6-8 in something like, 3 days. If before volume 3 he was only kinda enjoying after volume 3 he became fucking obsessed with RWBY (not that i'm complaining), he started sending RWBY memes to me, making REALLY complex theories and character analisys, bought the mangas, some products from rooster teeth shop and signed up to rooster teeth just because he wanted to give them some money to support the studio. In college during our free time 80% of the time we talked about RWBY and his newest analisys of something like, the fighting style of X character and what that told about him, in the end he became a bigger fan than me and one day he said RWBY is in his top 3 animes of all time (and thats very much coming from someone like him who watches A LOT of anime), when I told him people considered volumes 4-8 to be bad he legit couldn't believe it, he went after videos and people saying that, analyzed the arguments and explained me how each argument was either silly or didn't make sense, sometimes he said, and I quote: "These guys didn't understand anything" or "Were they sleeping the entire volume? This argument doesn't make sense"
As volume 9 was coming out we didn't stop talking about it every week, one of our friends JP got a little interested from overhearing us as he too likes animes, we both recommended the show and after looking it on the internet he said "damn a lot of people say its bad", al then said "who do you trust more, both of us who are your friends saying its good or strangers on the internet saying its bad?" and JP was like "ok, i'll watch it". JP later texted me commenting about some things from volumes 1 and 2 and according to him it was an OK anime, I told him "wait for volume 3 because thats where it will get better", then he reached volume 3, let me quote the message he sent me after completing volume 3: "Bro damn that was a good ending, you were right it was fucking awesome! I'm gonna watch the entire show" And so he started watching the rest, said volumes 4 and 6 had a small drop of excitement but still way better than volumes 1 and 2. After watching volumes 7 and 8 he said they were the best volumes of RWBY and that it had been a while since he enjoyed an anime so much as he was enjoying RWBY, then I told him the same thing I told al, that people considered volumes 4-8 to be bad specially volume 8 and his reaction was similar to al: "What? These guys are crazy, volumes 8 was the best of the entire show and the others were good too, way superior to volumes 1 and 2 both in animation and in story". After he watched volume 9 he said it was kinda boring and similiar in enjoyment to volumes 1 and 2, but anyway after he finished watching he said "I'll be honest with you, volumes 1 and 2 were kinda bad, volume 9 wasn't great either, but the other volumes made up for it, it was damn worth watching the entire anime! I give it a 8.6 and if it wasn't for volumes 1, 2 and 9 I would give it a solid 9.7, excluding these three volumes its one of the best animes I watched in a long time"
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After seeing both Al's and JP's reaction and how they felt more or less the same I felt when I watched RWBY I came to the conclusion that if you binge the show you have a higher chance of liking it, I stopped thinking "its bad but I like it" and started thinking "these people were just unlucky to watch it weekly, if they binged they could've liked it more just like Al and JP" and I'm not basing that solely on them liking RWBY, Al's arguments over why most of the critics were wrong and why the show is actually good but misunderstood really changed my mid, what do you guys think?

It’s been almost 4 months since my almost 7 year relationship with the girl I love ended.
I’m trying everything, literally everything. Therapy, journaling, reading, self help audiobooks, work, working out, music, friends, getting out of my comfort zone. I went to church for the first time since I was a child, I jumped out of a plane last week and I’m doing it again Sunday morning.
The depression has hit me so hard. The weight of it all makes me see no way out. I can’t live like this for years. It’s changing me. I literally have not had one decent day, not one day when I don’t wake up panic crying, not one day when I’m thankful to be alive in four months.
WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?! I’ve exhausted my friends and family by constantly crying to them. I have never been so sad in my life. I lost so much. I am losing my will to live.

I'm 2 months away from giving up. Simply put, life's not worth it anymore. For me anhedonia is an inability to express myself and feel good about the things I do. Exercise is hell. Everything is a pain in the ass. Things I do are simply not rewarding enough to be worth the effort. I feel like this is toxin in my veins slowly taking apart everything that used to give me pleasure. It's a game of coping with diminishing returns just trying to make it through the day while dealing with this incessant, crushing boredom.
Sometimes I cope by being spontaneous. It's like I've built this alter personality to cope with the suicidal thoughts. Or maybe that was me at some point. I don't know who the mask is anymore. All I know is that I didn't use to feel this way. It started somewhere at the start of puberty I think. And it's a very funny feeling! I can still enjoy music. I can still daydream about living a full life. I can conjure up feelings from thoughts or listening to music and simply just imagining them. But it feels so false! They have this weird "Offness" about them. Like I'm pulling from a depleting reservoir. Or like the happy feelings get washed away once reality sets in again.
I have goals. I have dreams. They just feel.. tainted.. by this bleakness, this void. It's like opening a kinder egg only to realize there is no toy inside, and the milk chocolate was removed. Like, "bruh?" There was supposed to be something there. My reward system is completely fucked. I don't even know if what I have is depression, anxiety, adhd or anything at all. It's like I have them all and none of them at the same time, because holy hell the amount of wrinkles I give my therapist before he tells me I'm fine. Most of the time I think these professionals are just going down a list ticking off boxes until they ask you the deciding question: "So do you have a job?" I don't know about any other places, but if you anwer 'yes' to this question, health professionals completely do not care what your problem is, as long as you're a functioning member of society.
I don't feel like anybody gets it. This tiny all consuming void that I need to toss new interests into lest it eats me up from the inside, bit by bit. I'm just here to kill time. I like people watching. Luckily I'm empathetic. I can look at other people and imagine how it would be like to be in their shoes. I like to hear their stories and observe them so I can vicariously live their life through them.
I know how things are supposed to feel. I just feel disconnected from them. Like I'm dissociated. My body has needs. My brain has thought independent from my own that I need to cater to. Most of my thoughts are intrusive and I've treated them as such. I've toyed with the concept of having multiple personality disorder. But that ain't it. So what I'm left with is this divide. I am two people. Two differing sides: one that wants to hold on. To live life to it's fullest. And one who wants me dead. For it to be all over. Someone who's very tired of the same old loop going nowhere. And it makes sense. Living at this point is just suffering. I'm suffocated.
Like.. I know I should be able to do these things. I know I should be able to just enjoy stuff. To get out of the sofa. To put in some effort. To do the task. It's just.. motivation is so physically painful to exert. I know I'm supposed to care about people.. And the crushing guilt that comes along with it. "You're so full of potential. You're just lazy!" Yeah.. I know. I'm hopeless. Waste of potential. Having to deal with all of the other things on top of this is just.. living life on hard mode but without an achievement to show for it. Or bragging rights.
I keep thinking back on the past, asking myself if this is just trauma from something I've experienced. Being misunderstood or something. Neglected. I don't know. And then I feel fine. But like a slow working poison the nothingness creeps back. I funtion the best when I'm not thinking. When I'm really tired. That's when I feel normal. But then again. Lethargic. No energy. Only sleepy. Yawn. Fall asleep. Dream. Wake up dead inside. Loop continues. Every day is just a dark souls boss fight inside mentally to find peace. It takes me all day to win.
My friends' adhd medicine cured me for a day. 'Vyvanse' it's called. Felt like a human being again. Full feelings. Connectedness. Energy. Motivation. Simple pleasures back. Brain fog gone. I could think again. Enjoy the wind in my hair. Will to live back. But holy fuck was that illegal.
I'm on my way to my doctor for the 3rd time for depression on the 20th. I'm scared. I want to be medicated. I don't want to live like 'machine'. It's just suffering. It's not being alive. Life and death are one in the same to me. Me being alive is just more convenient for others. But to me it's starting to not be worth it. Diminishing returns and all. I don't want to be an ant with an ego, living off of instinct. I was meant to be a human goddamit.
I think SSRI's are going to be the death of me. I just want the vyvanse back. I don't care if it's an addictive drug. So let it be addictive! I'd rather 'be addicted' and live my life fulfillingly to 70 than die at 40 at my own hands cause I can't take the absolute misery that is my "life" anymore. But that's probably just addict speak. I don't know
I'm pissed off. My running theory is that depression is a symptom of my anhedonia, and not the other way around
Please share your thoughts. I'd love to get another perspective on this

We were supposed to start selling them soon but we were told to throw away the boxes we have already received. My friend that works in another store also had to do the same thing. I was looking for that sugary goodness

She don't do good with girls so almost all her friends are guys.no she don't wanna sleep with them if u write that fuck of But I feel really lonely now that she's working and just ran into one Just scared idk

OK so basically let me give you a rundown. Me and my boyfriend (male 18) (female 18) just recently broke up. We had been together for almost 2 years, so I’m not really sure what to do here. We just recently graduated high school and we are about to start our lives as in going to college, and starting our future. Last weekend was his graduation and let’s just say I really messed up. He had mentioned I smoked in front of his brother and I did not want anyone his family to know that I had smoke prior and I’d quit for the moral fact of pregnancy. Which he knew. I had flipped out because I was upset about it but I didn’t think about it. I think it was just my hormones going everywhere. We got into an argument which ended up in him crying and I felt bad so I try to comfort him and I thought everything was good until his graduation party. He invited a female who I had a decent problem with because she has had romantic feelings for my boyfriend. Well, I had stepped away to my car to take a call because I was getting an internship, which was very important to me. It was the kick off to my career. As I went to go take this call, I heard her bad mouthing me and my boyfriend didn’t even bother to stand up for me. I walk back up there with tears in my eyes trying to ask him why he didn’t even bother to back me up. He told me that I need to relax and that I was acting out. This female asked him to go to her party later that night, and as soon as I walked inside to get some fresh air because it’s really hot outside she said that I better not come and if I do come that I will pay some consequences. So I told him I did not feel comfortable with him going to that party then he dumped me. Knowing I’m 5 to 6 weeks pregnant. So I drove almost 2-3 hours home bawling my eyes out and went to go stay with my sister none of my family knows. I’m still staying with her trying to salvage my relationship, but he has done nothing but act like a child throughout this entire process. I’m not sure what to do. I really want him back, but he seems to want nothing to do with me and then threatens to take away the child. The reason he threatens to take the baby away from me because I’ve had history with addiction. I’m no longer on any sort of drugs. I’ve quit vaping quit smoking Weed quit popping pills all that stuff. I’m now just trying to make my life as happy as I can and I want him back because I know I can make him happier than I ever did before. I know I really messed up here and I shouldn’t of argued with him over something so silly but I feel like we can work this out. He’s my best friend, my partner, my everything but when I tried talking to him today, he just seems like he wanted nothing to do with me. No matter how much I’ve tried talking to him trying to make things right he has made it very clear that he wants no part in a relationship with me. He just wants to be friends. He turned off his location, and I think he’s been seeing that girl, which I also recently found out. He lied to me telling me he went to an event with his friends that were two guys what he actually just went on a date with this girl. I know it sounds crazy that I want to fix things with him but he’s my everything I’m not in denial I really just wanna be with him. How do I fix this? How do I show him that he’s the one for me? How do I show him that I want to be with him? How do I show him that in this life people make mistakes and we shouldn’t have to pay the death penalty for it. I’ve recently got into therapy and I’m wanting to make things better, but I’m not sure how I go about doing that. I really just want to show him that I love him and that he’s the one for me. I’m not really sure how I’m going to do this. I love him more than anyone in this world please someone give me some advice here I will keep you updated.

M21
Hi, anyone has a fun, good, chill java server to play to relax and make sure all the builds are never going to be deleted?
Dont be shy and add me :D, wanna make some friends to play
anubis#1108

Please let me know if you’re interested, I can make a good deal!!! I’m legit!! I’m going myself and a friend backed out last minute.

I was just at my twin's English teacher's band's gig (it was very good, the band is called HEALER for anyone interested) and there were loads of other teachers from my school there. My head of year, 2 P.E. teachers, the head of science/biology teacher, my history teacher and my English teacher. Plus my friend's mum who works at the school too.
What would you guys think if this happened to you? Cause the teachers at my school didn't find it weird (it's a small school- everyone knows each other anyway) but do you think it would be different for other schools?

So I work as an Unloader at UPS. It’s basically just tossing boxes on a conveyor belt that takes them out of trailers onto the opposite side of the warehouse. Typically they have us working individually but will have us work in doubles if either the trailer needs help to be finished up asap or if the trailer holds a lot of 70+ packages. I meet a lot of different people who I double with in the trailer and sometimes they make small talk with me, I don’t initiate convo and I let them do it. If they were to ever initiate a convo with me I’ll keep it going.
I meet this one guy. And I first met him on my first month of working at UPS. He made small talk with me the first time we met, nothing crazy. I don’t see him for a month or so up until last night. He recognizes me and asked how I was holding out (I think it’s hard to hear in there) and I was like I’m holding out good. I continue to talk him about some supervisors giving me a hard time. We then continued on to random convos like movies, cars. Eventually when we finish up the trailer he asks if he could walk with me to which I allowed. We enter the parking lot and he asks me for my number before he gets in his car. I give him my number thinking this would be my first shot at trying to make friends at my workplace (I have not made any in the 3 months I’ve been here). I think nothing much of it and just in my head hoping he doesn’t try to get at me or is a douchebag (I’ve had lots of bad experiences with men).
I get home and the coworker texts me and I do mention I was texting my bf to him when he asked what I was up to. My texts with the coworker wasn’t particularly special or lengthy.
Later on in the night I have my usual end of the day call with my bf and I do tell him about giving my phone number to the guy at my work. My bf gets upset that I did. I texted one of my best friends and my older cousin about it for their opinion and they felt there was no issue if it’s platonic.
Later on during the night I try to have a conversation about the situation with my bf to try to resolve things. He explains he doesn’t see why once you’re in a relationship you would be chillin with guys or girls. And that he has stopped talking to a lot of girls that were his friends for me so I wouldn’t feel uncomfortable. I validate his feelings as always, he has a right to feel and be upset but I don’t know if I’m really the asshole in the situation if it’s strictly platonic? Also to add that the coworker didn’t once flirt with me or show signs of anything particularly romantic or sexual, I want and plan to keep things strictly platonic.

hey friends! i smoke for some chronic health problems and i’m trying to find good solventless carts and concentrates.
i’ve tried sunnyside, fluent (nothing solventless, tho), & jungle boys for carts so far and nothing has stood out other than sunnyside’s Guava Pie live rosin.
The only concentrate I’ve tried so far is Tie Dye bursar from sunnyside. But I have a new Peak Pro so I need to pick up some new things to try! Preferably solventless bc ya girl’s got lung problems

Hello, this happened a while ago, i like exploring places with my buddies. abandoned houses, hospitals etc. we found a entrance to a sewer system it looked cool and creepy so we went in. now it was a hallway going down so far i couldn't see anything. like a void there were blue lights so we headed down, it was a hallway system leading to sewer pipes, water canals etc. it was nothing out of the ordinary we went through a sewer system and found a little door with a stairwell leading lower down the sewer. we forgot where the entrance was, so we took the risk and went down. the stairwell went down for at least 30 steps, it was too late to turn around and there was a light down there. we continued we finally went to the end of the stairwell, it was a little light and on the right a door, we opened the door and there were boxes a couch and a broken monitor we looked around and found a handycam, if anyone is curious it was a sony cx700v it looked like it was in good shape it had a mic which was broken presumably from the fall. i opened the display, and the screen turned on displaying the "handycam" logo it had a lot of videos, i placed in my backpack and we left the room. we went through a lot of hallways to be honest i don't know how many. we saw a door with light, it was the exit. for a split second i saw a black figure peeking around looking at us, it didn't have eyes or they were black, i dont remember. we exited the sewer system, everyone went to their home, i came home i was tired, i jumped on the bed and fell asleep in 5mintues. i woke up in the morning, it was around 7am i hopped on my pc played gta 4, i remembered about the camera, i connected it to my pc. there were a lot of videos they were corrupted just static, and half of them said "this file is not able to open" with a windows 7 error sound. i found a image thats burned into my head to this day, my friend messaged me over skype and sent me a article about a missing man that entered the sewers, a few days later they found his remains and a camera bag, everything connected now. i still have that camera to this day, and thats how i got this image. this subreddit dosent let me post images, i posted the image on the creepypasta subreddit so u can see it there. bye
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