Coleman 22 foot above ground pool

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Mordecai had always enjoyed designing bosses, once he was experienced to think beyond their potential as defenses. That first group of explorers had taught him how to consider combat as a dangerous game instead of as just conquest or killing. A young dungeon’s instincts were not always kind in this regard before they have some exposure to others. Especially when they first realize that killing intruders gave them a lot of energy, and that the dungeon could ‘eat’ people to become stronger.
Fortunately, there were many other options. While a group that turns around early because they are intimidated provides little mana, defeating them soundly without actually killing them provides lots of energy, if still less than killing them. But two drawn-out explorations provide more energy than a single quick defeat of a group, and that process could repeat more often as well. The dungeons that couldn’t learn to moderate themselves could become dangerously greedy when not enough people came to them.
Not a problem they would be facing, so Mordecai shook off his reminiscing and focused on the task at hand. He knew he wanted a fungal boss, but it was hard to make a fast mushroom creature, especially when it was large. A creature rooted in place was generally very easy to target from afar, but while part of his mind had been wandering, another part had been chewing on the issue, and he had found a solution.
After all, a fungus’s true body was usually hidden. So the first stage of building this boss was to make another large cavern, about a third the size of the main one. Then he sunk the floor well below the entrance, and filled in most of the gap with a room-wide mycelium, mixed with loose earth and then topped with another foot of soil to appear like mostly normal if slightly soft ground. It would be difficult for most groups to completely kill something like this, so while this was the base life form for the boss, he was going to create a few stages, with normal victory being after Stage 1.
His next step was a bit of preparation work, he needed to make the entire organism immune to acid. There was a price to pay, a limit to how much power could be wrapped into a fifth-floor boss, and so he paid it in the form of a balancing weakness. Fungi tend to already dislike fire and cold, so this would be weaker than usual to both. Oh, Mordecai could have made it immune without balancing it out, but then he wouldn’t have been able to make it as strong in other ways.
Filling in the room with look-alike sprouting bodies was going to both hide and be a clue as to the true nature of the boss. They weren’t the same sorts of mushrooms as filled the main cavern, they were extensions of the boss’s true body below the surface, but it would take a keen eye to tell the difference.
Time for the showstopper, the visible main body of the boss. It was going to be clearly a mushroom, though not like any mushroom that could ever normally develop. Its total height was 20 feet tall, but the first ‘cap’ was at 10 feet, spreading out a wide canopy from which tendrils could snap out at prey. Just above that cap was a ring of branching stalks that ended in tightly packed balls that could be launched at nearby enemies, though not at those below the cap of course.
Above that was a double ring of thinner branching stalks, tilted slightly upward, and they ended in the explosive, venom-laced darts he’d developed previously. They couldn’t be aimed below the cap or even nearby, but had a much larger range.
And finally, the topper of this strange mushroom monstrosity was a delicate-looking bell-like cap, from which rained a gentle, steady dusting of debilitating spores. The spores trickled from the small cap and rolled over the stalks and cap below, meaning that some would also get caught in the darts and nets as well.
But he wasn’t quite done yet. The tendrils for his boss were not going to whip around like the other mushrooms, they were going to be directed and grab at foes, to bring the victim towards the maw. Well, one of them. Mordecai gave the main stalk of his boss three distorted, toothy maws, with more rows of hard fungal teeth inside. There was no throat or stomach, it was simply designed to keep chewing on anything it shoved into its mouth until nothing was left.
But for all of its fearsomeness, this mushroom tree was relatively fragile, and none of its borrowed attacks were as potent as the original, despite the increased range of some of them. Most bosses would be much tougher. That would not be quite the end of a fight however, for immediately after defeating the first stalk, another would spawn from the ground below, and after that a third and final stalk would form. Hmm. Might be good to give a small clue here. Ah, that would be easy. In the center of the ceiling Mordecai grew four red crystals, three of them in a triangle with a dark red glow. The fourth sat in the center unlit. Each time a stalk went down, one of the red crystals would turn a brightly-hued blue. When all three turned blue, the boss would be ‘dead’, the forest would go quiescent, and the doorway out would open, ending stage 1 and technically entering stage 2. Usually. Unless the second boss was active of course, in which case the fourth crystal would light up red as well, and stage 1 didn’t end until it was defeated too.
As frenetic and emotionally charged as this fight would feel, a team that could make it to this room shouldn’t have much trouble. It was high tension, but if one handled it correctly it wasn’t actually hard. Treat it like a boss fight, throw around fire spells or alchemical bombs or what have you, and it would be a short, fast-paced fight. The boss trees would want to spawn near the group, after all, you only had to hunt down the first one.
Which meant that it came with a penalty for people who were badly behaved. There was enough information in the way everything acted for someone to figure out that the ‘real’ boss was below. The forest would only be quiet and still until the group had moved on, then would slowly restore its boss trees. But if someone realized that the real body of the boss was below and decided to try and ‘finish the job’ or any such foolishness, inflicting enough damage to the mycelium would stir it back into activity and switch the boss fight into stage 3. The full tree wouldn’t respawn, but the seemingly ‘normal’ mushroom trees would become more active and directed, and the mycelium mat could animate and shuffle itself about, drawing its deadlier trees towards its attackers even as its rippling surface did its best to knock people off of their feat.
As one would have to go out of their way to activate this mode and the first stage was easier than it seemed, the total difficulty and toughness of the boss was significantly higher than it would be otherwise if someone did activate stage 3. Mordecai paused a moment and ran a couple of scenarios in his head, then shrugged at the results. He’d tried out the idea of deliberately activating stage 3 early if hostiles managed to get here, and the simulation didn’t run properly. He thought he might be able to make the transition more sensitive, but the invading party would still have to do some significant damage to the base mycelium.
Well, nothing for it, he’d already committed to it, the energy for this creature already tied to one of the boss nodes for the floor. Mordecai finalized his creation with a name. “I name you Sarcomaag.” And with that it was done, everything sealed. He could feel a mind stirring in the depths of the fungal mass, and it was quite different from most. Slower in some ways given how far it was spread out, but also deeper. He checked its aura and found it to still only have a spirit instead of a soul, but the mind inside was awakening at its own pace, and he could see the first signs of that denser, more complicated knot of energy forming. He expected Sarcomaag to have a fully functioning soul before long, especially as he could feel the first hints of curiosity. Hmm.
Oh. That was going to make things interesting. Whoops.
“Whoops?” Came Kazue’s query on the heels of that thought.
“Erm, I think I got ahead of myself with Sarcomaag here. I mean, what I designed is perfectly fine for a fifth-floor boss. But I didn’t place any proper growth restrictions on them either.” That was embarrassing, and the sort of thing that he should know better than to do. Maybe he was getting too comfortable and ambitious with designing complicated bosses, even with two brains it was hard to keep track of all the little things that had to be tuned correctly.
“Which means what my darling?”
When had Kazue learned to do the sweetly dangerous tone? It was cute, but Mordecai kept that thought to himself. “It’ll be slow, but Sarcomaag is going to spread, and they’ve already started to instinctively try to grow along and inside of the living crystal layer. The fact that some of its fruiting bodies already use living crystal makes it easier. So, well, I’m not entirely certain. They won’t do anything to harm the dungeon of course, and it shouldn’t make much difference to anything. But I also wouldn’t be surprised to find small mushrooms cropping up in places it wants to ‘see’ what is going on.” Its senses were different, but would be as good as vision for most purposes, and better for a few.
“Um, is that okay? I mean, we have rules about what can be where, doesn’t that kind of break them?” Kazue sounded worried, and he couldn’t blame her.
“I don’t think it’ll be a problem? Sarcomaag shouldn’t be able to act on the upper floors, though maybe they can on the lower floors as we grow.” Mordecai didn’t think that the fungal boss was going to default into one of the future raid boss nodes, but he was considering assigning it one anyway. “Well, we can discuss it with them when they wake up. Just don’t expect it to be a fast conversation, their mind works rather differently.”
“Alright. I guess we’ll wait and see. So, what did you have in mind for the second boss?”
Mordecai smiled. “Something much more straightforward love. Though I think most people will prefer to face Sarcomaag.”
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1700 gallon 12x12x30in above ground pool. Bought 3in tablet and cut in half a week ago. Tablet is still about the size I put it in. Pool looks great. Dumb question; will the tablet completely dissolve?

Some time ago, I made two posts with some of Percy's best feats. The first one can viewed here. And the second: here.
Now I know that Jason isn't the most liked character in the fandom, but I like him. So I wanted to scale him.
Contents: Strength, speed, reaction speed, skill, durability, actual powers, Tl;dscaling, closing segment.
​
He was able to throw a club hard enough to knock down a Venti. Even causing it to curve so that it would hit Dylan when he tried to doge:

Jason threw the club. It seemed useless with the winds so strong, but the club flew right at Dylan, even curving when he tried to dodge, and smacked in the head so hard he fell to his knees
The Lost Hero

He was able to deflect a spear hit from a giant:

Jason raised his javelin to block the giant's next strike-a big mistake. Don't fight force with force, a voice chided him-the wolf Lupa, who told him that long ago. He managed to deflect the spear, but it grazed his shoulder, and his arm went numb.
The Lost Hero

The same giant was able to cause the entire mountain to shake just by slamming the butt of said spear into the ground:

Before they could get very far, Enceladus slammed his spear against the ground. The entire mountain shook.
The Lost Hero

Moving onto House of Hades, we see him casually shatter a metal with a kick, firmly putting him into the superhuman category of strength. Not only that, but he managed to stagger and knocked a giant to his knees:

One last time Jason flew at [Clytius], kicking him in the chest, and the giant's breastplate shattered. Clytius staggered backward..He fell to his knees, and the demigods encircled him
House of Hades

He was able to cut through a statue made of metal with help from Piper:

Piper and Jason went to work on Hygeia. They slashed through the statue's knees
Blood of Olympus

We are now done with Jason it the strength department. Obviously, he lacks many feats in this department, especially compared to Percy, but he is definitely stronger than an average human.
Speed:
He was able to stab a giant:

[Jason] rolled away from the giant's first spear thrust and jabbed Enceladus in the ankle. Jason's javelin managed to pierce the thick dragon hide, and golden ichor-the blood of immortals-trickled down the giant's clawed foot.
The Lost Hero

This might not seem that impressive, but Jason was being slowed down by Gaea. The Giant was being helped by Gaea. Finally, the giant was predicting Jason's attacks:

Enceladus' spear missed him by a millimeter. Jason kept dodging, but the ground stuck to his feet. Gaea was getting stronger, and the giant was getting faster. Enceladus might be slow, but he was not dumb. He began anticipating Jason's moves, and Jason's attacks were only annoying him
The Lost Hero

We see this here again:

Enceladus let him approach, grinning with anticipation. At the last second, Jason faked a strike and rolled between the giant's legs. He came up quickly, thrusting with all his might, ready to stab the giant in the small of his back, but Enceladus anticipated the trick. He stepped aside with too much speed and agility for a giant, as if the earth were helping him move.
The Lost Hero

Reaction/ combat speed. This is where Jason really shines. As he has several impressive feats:
He was able to keep up with Lit. The same guy who was so good, he earned the name Reaper of Men:

Lit charged.
The guy was fast. He slashed and sliced, and Jason could barely dodge the strikes, but his mind went into a different mode-analyzing patterns, learning Lit's style, which was all offense, no defense.
The Lost Hero

He can react to giants:

Jason raised his javelin to block the giant's next strike-a big mistake. Don't fight force with force, a voice chided him-the wolf Lupa, who told him that long ago. He managed to deflect the spear, but it grazed his shoulder, and his arm went numb.
The Lost Hero

He scales to Percy in reaction speed and was able to amaze Piper:

[Piper] rolled to the edge of the road and looked back, dazed and horrified, as [Percy and Jason] crossed swords, gold against bronze. Sparks flew. Their blades blurred-strike and parry-and the pavement trembled. The first exchange only took a second, but Piper couldn't believe the speed of their sword fighting.
Mark of Athena

The same guy who I scaled to have reaction speed as fast as 10 milliseconds. And the average human reacts at 250 milliseconds.
He can react to lightning:

Jason called down another lightning strike, but Ephialtes caught it on his spear and deflected the blast, melting a life-size plastic cow. He slammed a stone column out of his way like a stack of building blocks. Percy tried to keep the lake churning. He didn’t want Otis rising to join this fight, but as Ephialtes closed the last few feet, Percy had to switch focus. Jason and he met the giant’s charge. They lunged around Ephialtes, stabbing and slashing in a blur of gold and bronze, but the giant parried every strike. “I will not yield!” Ephialtes roared. “You may have ruined my spectacle, but Gaea will still destroy your world!” Percy lashed out, slicing the giant’s spear in half. Ephialtes wasn’t even fazed. The giant swept low with the blunt end and knocked Percy off his feet. Percy landed hard on his sword arm, and Riptide clattered out of his grip. Mark of Athena

While technically not reacting to lighting, Percy fought a giant who could, so Ephialtes' reaction speed=Percy's. What I'm getting at here is Ephialtes can react to lightning. Percy can keep up with Ephialtes. So Percy=Ephialtes' reaction speed. Jason=Percy reaction speed. Therefore, Jason=Ephialtes' reaction speed.
Too much for you to follow, here:

Jason swung at the first spirit. His blade passed through it and the creature's smoky form disintegrated. The second spirit let loose a bolt of lightning, but Jason's blade absorbed the charge. Jason stepped in-one quick thrust, and the second storm spirit dissolved into gold powder
The Lost Hero

There you go.
He reacts to arrows:

This time Jason's senses were on high alert. He felt the air ripple as an arrow materialized, racing towards Nico's chest.
Jason intercepted it with his sword and deflected it sideways.
House of Hades

Now, Romans use a type of composite bow called a Sagittarii. Composite bows can shoot arrows as a speed of 250 to 370 feet per second (76 to 113 m/s).
Also keep in mind that he is nearsighted. Giving him even less time to react than normal:

"Oh, of course!" Asclepius said. "You're a bit nearsighted! Simple fix."
He opened the drawer, whipped out a prescription pad and an eyeglasses case. He scribbled something on the pad, then handed the glasses and the scrip to Jason.
Blood of Olympus

So all in all, he has some fast reaction speed. Well above human.
Next up, skill.
He can keep up with Lit, a man so deadly, he was named the Reaper of Men:

Lit charged.
The guy was fast. He slashed and sliced, and Jason could barely dodge the strikes, but his mind went into a different mode-analyzing patterns, learning Lit's style, which was all offense, no defense.
The Lost Hero

He did all of this:

"I slew the Trojan sea monster," Jason continued. "I toppled the black throne of Kronos, and destroyed the Titan Krios with my own hands. And now I'm going to destroy you, Porphyrion, and feed you to your own wolves."
The Lost Hero

He killed the Trojan sea monster and killed a Titan without a weapon.
Durability:
He is immune to, or at least, resistant to electricity:

Dylan's form flickered. "That was enough lightning to kill twenty men!"
The Lost Hero

He survived this:

Enceladus let him approach, grinning with anticipation. At the last second, Jason faked a strike and rolled between the giant's legs. He came up quickly, thrusting with all his might, ready to stab the giant in the small of his back, but Enceladus anticipated the trick. He stepped aside with too much speed and agility for a giant, as if the earth were helping him move. He swept his spear sideways and met Jason's javelin-and with a snap like a shotgun blast, the golden weapon shattered.
The explosion was hotter than the giant's breath, blinding Jason with golden light. The force knocked him off his feet and squeezed the breath out of him.
The Lost Hero

While this is an already impressive feat, we have this to make this even more impressive:

The javlin's destruction had released so much energy, it had blasted a perfect cone-shaped pit thirty feet deep, fusing the dirt and rock into a slick, glassy substance.
The lost Hero

He was uncut by plastic shrapnel:

Together, the giants picked up a fake mountain as big as Percy's New York apartment and hurled it at the demigods. Percy and Jason bolted. They dove into the nearest trench and the mountain shattered above them, spraying them with plastic shrapnel.
Mark of Athena

He can tank a hit from a giant trident, although he was in a lot of pain:

Jason managed to avoid the prongs of the trident again, but the giant swung the other end around and smacked him in the chest.
Jason reeled back, stunned and in pain. Polybotes came in for the kill. Just before the trident would have perforated him, Jason's ventus acted on its own. It spiraled sideways, whisking Jason thirty feet across the courtyard.

Powers. This is another place he is impressive in. He has several abilities he can call on in a clutch:
He can correct aim of things he throws:

Jason threw the club. It seemed useless with the winds so strong, but the club flew right at Dylan, even curving when he tried to dodge, and smacked in the head so hard he fell to his knees
The Lost Hero

He can control air pressure:

[Jason] felt a tugging sensation in his gut, and the air pressure dropped so rapidly his ears popped.
The Lost Hero

He can summon Tempest, a horse made of wind and electricity:

Suddenly the air turned cold. Piper's ears popped. About fifty yards away, a miniature cyclone three stories tall tore across the tops of the sunflowers like a scene from The Wizard of Oz. It touched down on the road next to Jason and took the form of a horse-a misty steed with lightning flickering through its body
Mark of Athena

Jason and Percy working together can create a massive storm:

On the deck of the Argo II, Percy and Jason stood together, their swords crossed. Annabeth got a tingle down her spine as she realized the boys were working together as one, summoning the sky and the sea to do their bidding. Water and wind churned together. Waves heaved against the ramparts and lightning flashed. Giant eagles were knocked out of the sky. Wreckage of the flying chariot burned in the water, and Coach Hedge swung a mounted crossbow, taking potshots at the Roman birds as the flew overhead.
The Mark of Athena

Jason can fly and carry people with him:

Jason summoned the wind to carry him and Piper to shore
Mark of Athena

He can cause water to boil and temporarily blind Piper:

BOOM! Lightning stirred the water into a boiling cauldron, steaming and hissing with electricity. Piper blinked the yellow spots out her eyes as the god Achelous wailed and dissolved under beneath the surface
Mark of Athena

He can use wind offensively:

The demigods rolled to either side, and Jason summoned the wind, using the giant's own momentum to shove him into the water
Mark of Athena

He can get angry enough to generate electricity:

the air turned electric-literally, as Jason started throwing off sparks.
Mark of Athena

He can melt iron and cause gold to steam:

Just then, thunder boomed overhead. Lightning flashed, and the bars on the nearest window burst into sizzling, melted stubs of iron.
Jason flew in like Peter Pan, electricity sparking around him and his gold sword steaming.
House of Hades

Jason has the ability to track people who use winds as a method of transport so things like air spirits can't run from him:

Jason couldn't exactly see him, but he'd had enough experience controlling the wind that he could track the angel's path-a warm wisp of red and gold zipping across the street..
House of Hades

He can control the four winds and even construct this out of wind:

[Jason] thrust out his hand. A swirl of dust shot toward the nearest horse. A lasso-a rope of wind, more tightly wound than any tornado-wrapped around the horse's neck. ..In less than a minute he had tethered all four venti. He reined them in, still whining and bucking, but they couldn't break Jason's rope. It felt like flying four kites in a strong wind-hard, yes, but not impossible.
House of Hades

He uses wind defensively:

Jason summoned gusts of wind to last aside javelins and arrows. He deflected a vial of Greek fire right up the throat of a gryphon, which burst into flames and spiraled into the pit.
House of Hades

He can carry others without having to fly himself:

Three dead Romans rose into the air and flew across the chasm. Then three more joined them. Finally Jason flew himself across and his squad began cutting through some very surprised-looking telkhines
House of Hades

He can use a sword or a javelin:

Jason slashed his gladius in a wide arc, vaporizing the nearest suitors; then he vaulted onto the table and jumped over Antinous' head. In midair he willed his bade to extend into a javelin-a trick he'd never tried with this sword-but somehow he knew it would work.
Blood of Olympus

He once more demonstrates his ability to create objects from air and now he can encase himself in air armor:

[Jason] raised his arm and summoned a lasso of wind... He lashed out with his wind rope, searching for strongest, most ornery *ventus in the storm.
He lassoed a nasty patch of storm cloud and pulled it in. "You're serving me today."
Howling in protest, the ventus encircled him. The storm above the ship seemed to lessen just a bit, as if the other venti were thinking Oh, crud. That guy means business.
Jason levitated off the deck, encased in his own miniature tornado. Spinning like a corkscrew, he plunged into the water.

Jason is capable of summoning weird lightning stuff at the bottom of the ocean. Also worth noting it is still as deadly and didn't shock Percy who was also in the water next to him. On top of that, he can now separate the volts to attack multiple targets instead of just one:

But [Jason] couldn't think of a better option. He thrust up his sword. Immediately the blade glowed red-hot.
A diffuse cloud of yellow light billowed through the depths, like someone had poured liquid neon into the water. The light hit Jason's sword and splayed outward in ten separate tendrils, zapping the basiliks.
Blood of Olympus

He can carry a current throughout his body, holding it for latter:

With a deafening blast, a white-hot bolt arced from the sky, straight through Jason's body as he leaped, wreathed in lightning, at the giant king.
Jason fell on King Porphyrion with such force that the giant crumpled to his knees-blasted with lightning and stabbed in the neck with a golden gladius.

He can blast a 30 foot giant off a clif:

Porphyrion lashed out wildly with his spear, but Jason cut it in half with his gladius. He charged in, jabbing his sword through the giant's breastplate, then summoned the winds and blasted Porphyrion off the edge of the cliff.
Blood of Olympus

Tl;dr and scaling: So Jason is powerful. He is definitely superhuman in al physical states. I am going to say, city level durability. His power level is at mountain level.
Closing segment: Honestly I think he could have been more powerful if we'd seen him in more books. Also I didn't use a Trials of Apollo feats as there I didn't find any. If you see any feats I missed let me know so I can scale them. So what did you think? Did this make you see Jason as more or less powerful than you originally thought? Who else would you like me to scale?
Respect Jason Grace, son of the sky god, Zeus!

For context: One year term ended in May, currently month-to-month. Standard PA Realtor's lease agreement that doesn't say anything specific about pools. After signing a year back, the Code Enforcement officer came to make inspections and recognized the name of the tenants and said something to the effect of "in their last place they tried to build a pool in their backyard. Just a heads up. They'll need approval; can't do it on their own."
Fast forward, they haven't been nightmare tenants. Our interactions have been weird at times, but not necessarily confrontational. Then again, I don't need to be friends and they've maintained the home decently so it is what it is.
Recently there have been some anonymous posts on the community Facebook page asking if anyone knows of someone that can level a slope in the backyard for an above ground pool. The most recent one asked again and said that it has already been purchased.
So here's the deal. We have no idea that it's them other than that they wanted a pool in their previous place and that our backyard has a bit of a slope. So, since we aren't interested in the liability, potential damage to the yard, etc., some of my questions are:

1. I'm wondering if now is the time to just reach out and make it known where we stand on pools? Or do I wait until there actually is one? I'm stuck on how to even approach it without seeming psychotic as we generally try not to be micromanagers of the property.
2. Would leveling the slope in the back yard be considered going against that clause in the agreement regarding "destroy, damage or deface any part of the Property or common areas."
3. Is there some other language in our common lease that we can leverage to prevent this if, in fact, it is their intention?

A multi-level issue here and I don’t even know how to explain it all without a novel. I will TRY to keep it short. I just feel like I am getting zero wins, I leave work happy and come into a home that drags the joy out of me. I used to be a healthy balance of optimistic & realist, feet on the ground kind of guy. Now I find myself quick to anger, short bandwidth at work, and just all around more negative. I am at the end of my rope here and I am miserable. A man shouldn’t seek to be blissfully happy but he should seek to not be miserable.
I’m 36 (M), she’s 33 (F). Two SK’s 13 and 12. We have a beautiful son together who is incredible and perfect! But he and I are in a bad situation thanks to some poor decisions I’ve made. Or maybe I got duped I don’t know.
Met in Feb 2020, Married Nov 2021. I’ve always been picky and never met anyone good. She checked all the boxes. Aligned values, health, humor, she has hobbies, she had work ethic, wasn’t self obsessed, etc. She looked at me and listened to me like no one ever had. We’re both fit and she is gorgeous. It all felt right and great!
Didn’t meet her kids for 4 months, was weary about it but we felt like such a great match for each other that I wanted to try. The time spent with them of course was sparse since she usually came to spend time with me when they were at their bio dads. They were respectful and well behaved, very fun, when the time was spent. Anytime I went to their house it was spotless clean. Before we got married there were some red flags I chose to justify…she bit my head off a few times for stupid things. Kids were bad. Just some subtle clues. It’s hard to gauge the reality in those moments.
We get pregnant Feb 2022, planned. Things are still alright but this was the month some of the truth started coming out, honeymoon phase ends too soon. Kids become extremely messy, do the opposite of what their told, hyper desperate attempts for attention, interrupting, breaking things around the house, sneaking food not for them in their room, just suddenly all at once changing. This is BEFORE they found out we were pregnant (we waited 3 months to tell them which would be late April 2022). So I started worrying what was ahead but remained optimistic.
I make a very good amount of money, 7 figures some years. Which I never really brought up in a bragging manner, this wasn’t a sugar mama situation. I had a beautiful loft and nice things, but I don’t think any of them know the extent of the work I’ve accomplished. I own 2 e-commerce businesses and as of the last few years buy / sell commercial real estate. Her kids started asking for more and more things, demanding, expecting. Pitching fits when they don’t get them (I have to assume their dad is in their ear on some of this…). I bought us a beautiful home to live in…they weren’t living large when I met them.
Bio dad was invisible until March 2022 (she left him btw). The oldest brought us all these issues that were going on at her dads, which my wife reacted to by calling him and shouting (which seemed justified at the time). It started a complete war, he was constantly changing the rules and just creating chaos. Met a woman from Iraq who lived here for 20+ years but wanted to bring them to Iraq for their wedding. Ended up in court again. I PAID FOR IT ALL BECAUSE I WAS PRESSURED AND HAD NO CHOICE. She / we lost and they went to Iraq. They came back fine but all that damage was done. And then entire year of 2022, when it’s supposed to be a beautiful time of my first child, most days its 30-50% about the bio dad and all the conflict and chaos. That pure time was taken from me, from us. I don’t want to be selfish but I feel I am in last place.
TURNS OUT SD12 lied about everything that he was doing toxic or bad she got an iPhone on her bday and we read her texts where it all caved in. We confronted she admitted. Fast forward now we learned she is a compulsive liar and almost everything she says or does is a lie in effect. She is matching all the traits for antisocial personality disorder. She made up a SLEW of things about me (saying I screamed at her and verbally abuse her) to her dad and my mother in law. ALL untrue but it’s given me even more battles and riffs for my wife and I, her parents treat me differently now. Bio dad never mentioned it…I have to wonder if he knows it’s untrue and just rolls his eyes.
SD11 is a whole mess. I am not exaggerating the only things she speaks are bragging, whining, or being MEAN as hell…almost always interrupting and won’t stop talking even if she’s being fussed at for it. EVERYTHING she does is for attention even negative. She falls on purpose, she breaks things on purpose, she is ALWAYS sick, always coughing, she laughs overly hard at things that aren’t funny (no she’s not autistic). Even when you give her tons of attention for two weeks the well just gets deeper and then she needs MORE. It’s like a drug to her, completely untamable situation. She’s also very overweight, and knows how to get away with over eating. Yes it’s sad she’s doing it but I have no control so now I am venting on reddit about it. She eats very slow and gets 2nds 3rds 4ths over the course of 1.5 hours. She asks for dessert every night, the answer is NO, she asks again 5m later, NO, and the 3rd one another 5m later YES. If the answer continues to be no, she will wait until we’re asleep and sneak it upstairs. I have caught her in the act and told my wife, she blew it off. I counted her calories…she’s 4.5 feet tall and will regularly eat 3,500+ calories then whine all night about her stomach. She shits her pants at school, she does not have a medical condition we checked. Wife is aware and says “poor girl” because she’s very large but will only create solutions temporarily.
Bio dad is a pretty standard charismatic narcissist. Is nice, creates issues but acts like the other person is the irrational one, refuses to see his fault in the matter, doubles down, etc. He has no boundaries and knocked on our door and would walk in. I would have to tell him let’s go back outside. Eventually yelling at him and telling him to never do it again. One time during the Iraq chaos I come home to them yelling at each other in the yard and had to run up and tell everyone to shut up. Told my wife to go inside and followed her in. Then he left.
She then started a fight saying I should support her more, no one sees what she’s been through with him, etc etc. I felt like I was just a punching bag for her anger which is fine sometimes. She’d probably apologize later. I just nod and agree, wait some time then hug her…she says “I don’t know what the hell you’re doing…” then we don’t talk for 3 days. Completely stone walled. He says things to get under her skin, and gets the anger and reaction he wants (Narcissistic). When I tell her to approach it differently to get the result she wants, after some back and forth it ends in a fight. She says I don’t support her and I don’t understand what she’s been through and how hard it is.
I start bringing up issues about her kids, or the amount of time spent talking about their bio dad, in a calm and productive manner (I extensively researched how to positively communicate with an emotional wife, and either way was raised with good comm skills). Within minutes it’s “You don’t know shit about raising kids” and “You’re so mean and abusive”. As I try to de-escalate she finds anything and everything to latch onto that’s better…very standard crap like “OH so I’m derailing now…NO YOU’RE JUST NOT GETTING IT”.
No matter how big or how small the issue is, it turns into a massive blow out, she pulls out the most hurtful big guns she can think of. Issue is never resolved or communicated. I am stonewalled for 1 to 7 days. I never lose my cool and always think about the things I am going to say. It’s literally impossible to put my foot down calmly, irrationally, sweetly, anything. Because no matter what she plays mental gymnastics and as I am trying to de-escalate and get back on topic, while taking pretty hurtful blows, a door will be slammed and it’s all over. She finds a way to blame me and move on.
For the record I never bring up my money contribution to the matter, she quit work a few months before having our son, and hasn’t worked since. Which I prefer because she doesn’t have to and being a mom is a full time job and she has many side hustles on Etsy to keep her true to herself and centered (or so I think). This means I pay for A LOT of the SK’s stuff and with my situation the last 2 years I am really beginning to resent EVERYONE involved. I get no thanks, no appreciation. In fact during fights, despite never bringing up money, which has been a MASSIVE value adder for all of their lives, my wife tells me she doesn’t need any of it and it means nothing to her. WELL YOU ALL REALLY APPRECIATE THE SPOILS OF IT ALL. Even though I worked 12-14 hour days for 10 years to get where I am at, no handouts, it’s all devalued as a contribution to the marriage and written off. Sad.
After being stonewalled she will eventually hug me and say I don’t want to fight with you, I love you. And I will say me either, we don’t have to, I just want to work this out and we’ll be happier for it. I get either “I love you, I would never cause you problems or hurt you!” Or “I just want to enjoy our night / weekend whatever time it is together.” It’s never the right time. A lot of avoidance or kicking the can down the road. Then she is really sweet and great for 3-4 weeks, then it slowly goes back to biting my head off and getting a tone. I stay silent to keep the peace for a few weeks then I can’t take it anymore so I stand up for myself and stand my ground. Same thing happens over again.
Oh we went on a great lavish vacation early 2022, after the first one that was a nightmare…I was pressured into one more. And then I said no more for 3 years. Which turned into a massive MASSIVE fight with her telling me to move out at the end, then after a few days trying to act like that didn’t happen. Now I am being pressured into buying a new home since we outgrew ours.
So I am dealing with a marriage of very poor communication, AND I have the LEAST interesting kids ever (sorry but its true), they have zero skills, cannot have a conversation to save their life (all they do is ask me how my day was and when I answer with a sentence or more they just stare at me), no manners, no obedience, but they both act so sweet and cordial when I enter the home, and they immediately say sorry when we get onto them, but then they go right back to doing it. They lie, they fake things for attention, they can’t even walk behind us without bumping into us. Some of these things you’d expect from a 5 or 6 year old but now 10+. They are just really showing non pro-social behaviors and even seeing their friends leave them in the dust. And from the moment we had our son, I dislike them more...
My wife’s parenting style is a little reactive at times. She yells at them but doesn’t seem to understand root causes and how to go upstream to solve. She expects greatness but doesn’t know how to put in the time (their dad is a bigger issue). Her mom was really mean and toxic toward her growing up so with that it’s she really understand how to give and accept love or communicate calmly. Wife says all the time she doesn’t like the two girls, and how bad they are, and how hard she tries but no matter what they're awful. So she sees it. And when I try to make suggestions shes avoidant or it ends up in a fight. She’s an INCREDIBLE super mom to our son though. Which is great…
I realize this group is mostly women, and they will say her behavior is pre or post pregnancy. It’s not...there were watered down / held back situations that happened before all that. I even was considering leaving then we got pregnant. Yes it was planned but you can hold onto hope and have reality slapping you in the face at the same time.
Okay so it was a novel sorry. I am sad to think of leaving the marriage because we have an 8 month old who deserves better than this…I feel like I am putting in so much work into the marriage. I am reading books. I am in therapy myself which I have never done. I look at myself to see if I am the problem. I brought SO MUCH love and yes, financial value, to the relationship. I am getting none of that in return. She is keeping me on the line with temporary conditional love and wild sex that all gives me hope, I have always been above that but here I am. I feel like the root cause of my wife’s problems are solvable in time, but the step kids I dont know if I can do that any longer. It's just a tornado and theres been no growth. Thanks to those who read this much, I know it was chaotic.

Do they even exist? I’m trying to find some kind of cover (for a 16’ pool) that can be put on by one person working alone. Some kind of inflexible or unfoldable cover seems like my best option and I feel like I’ve seen those before for in-ground pools, but all I can find searching online for above ground pools are soft cloth or mesh covers. I’ve tried those but they’re a huge hassle to put on and take off without at least one other person to help hold it while you spread it out.
If there’s no such thing as a hard cover for an above ground pool, does anyone have any suggestions for the easiest cover to put on without assistance?

All right, I'm aware that the previous character ideas I've thought up would be complete programming nightmares, and I have no experience with Lua or SLADE. So perhaps I should start with a character who'd be simpler to design. I reached into my wide pool of OCs and came up with the idea of putting Legault Dawn, a staff-wielding spy who's skilled at infiltration and dismantles criminal enterprises from within, in SRB2. He'd be way easier to program than Annie, Sonja, Flora, Cassandra, or Garcia. In fact, his core playstyle could be very similar to one of the existing SRB2 characters — Amy Rose. While personality-wise, Legault and Amy are extremely different, in terms of how they'd play, they're both closer to ordinary human capabilities than the likes of Sonic, Tails, or Knuckles and compensate by wielding powerful melee weapons. The main difference between Legault and Amy is that Legault's weapon is faster than Amy's and he can defend himself without losing momentum, Legault is slightly less athletic than Amy and might have a harder time with platforming. So, let's begin.

• Default stats (36 top speed, 40 acceleration, 5 thrust factor, 96 accel start; run animation starts at 28 speed)
• Default jump height (100 fracunits)
• No spin-jump. Legault will get hurt if he simply jumps into enemies.
• Spin: Staff Strike: By pressing Spin on the ground or in the air, Legault will swing his staff horizontally in front of him to strike enemies and monitors in his way. Compared to Amy's hammer, this move is much faster, doesn't stop Legault's movement when used on the ground, and retains the ability to break bustable walls, but it has less range, lacks the shockwave effect, and doesn't cover above or below Legault; it also can't super-trigger springs (unless they're horizontal or diagonal springs or are struck from slightly below) or break bustable floors. (Note that if Legault has a shield, he'll perform the shield action instead of a staff attack if you press Spin in the air.)
• Air Action: Staff Dive: By pressing Jump in mid-air, Legault will thrust his staff below himself and plummet to the ground, damaging and bouncing off of enemies, bosses, and monitors, smashing through bustable floors, and super-triggering any spring he happens to land on.
• Fire: Staff Toss: Legault's high-tech staff uses a mix of anti-gravity and bio-magnetic technology to function like a boomerang, allowing Legault to toss it at distant enemies, then recall it to his hand. Press the Fire Button to throw Legault's staff at distant enemies and monitors (you can aim it in first person or by locking on the camera, but otherwise, it flies straight ahead). Press Fire a second time or simply wait for the staff to reach its maximum distance of 1500 fracunits to recall the staff to Legault's hand. The staff can strike enemies both while flying away from Legault or returning to him, and tracks him unerringly while being recalled. Note that the staff is not hitscan (and while it's not slow, it's not a particularly fast projectile), and Legault can't use either of his other staff moves while the staff is away, leaving him helpless against up-close enemies.

Does anyone know how to get out of a Starbucks contract?
I just started my new job and I already want to quit. I REALLY want to quit. Because this shit isn’t normal. I mean, is it? Do you guys have experience with this type of shit, or is it a normal thing when moving to the city? I’m a small-town girl so I’m not used to this. We didn’t even have a Starbucks. Just a diner that had been broken into multiple times over the years.
Do you know the bad feeling you get when something bad is going to happen, but you ignore it for the sake of staying sane? .Yeah.
It was one of those situations.
But I needed cash. I needed a job. College in the city is expensive, especially in my mid-twenties. Uber Eats every night and various subscriptions, such as Netflix and Spotify—as well as basic living needs required cash. So, naturally, I looked for part-time jobs I could use to fill up my weekend and nights. When it came to job hunting, I was fairly lazy. So, the Starbucks job kinda came out of nowhere.
I wasn’t even looking for it. I was applying for a job in the local music store when it caught my eye. Someone to work late evenings and nights on weekdays and Saturdays. The job description didn’t say much, just basic pay details and a full paragraph dedicated to talking about “The Starbucks Family”. Skim reading it, I skipped to the APPLY NOW button and sent in my resume via email. Two hours.
It had taken two hours to get an email back offering a video interview the next day—and a guaranteed job if I didn’t screw it up. The video interview went well to my surprise. The woman who conducted it acted more like a friend, asking me what my favorite movies and TV shows were, and then going into detail about her own.
It didn’t even feel like an interview. More like a chat. Which was exactly what the email said it was going to be. The interviewer was my mom’s age, a total mom-like persona. She offered me iced tea before laughing and realizing we were on a video call. Her cat popped up halfway through her introducing several staff members by name. A large tabby whom she picked up and hugged to her chest. I wasn’t sure what to do except repeatedly say, “Aww.” and force an even bigger smile.
The woman who for some reason did not introduce herself finished the interview with a more formal and thorough talk-through of rules and regulations. Which went in one ear and out the other. I think I was too excited about the job as a whole. There’s something almost mythical about working at Starbucks. I’ve seen barista TikTok complaining about customer service and harping about in the back rooms. It looked fun. Plus, free drinks? I figured working at the famous coffee chain would at least have benefits and freebies.
The woman spoke to me for almost two hours about certain drinks, telling me I would be trained up, and then going on to explain the dos and don’ts in a working environment. It was kind of patronizing, but I figured she had to be to remain professional. I tuned out when she started talking about a certain “feud” they had with another store down the road. The woman didn’t go into detail, but her expression did darken significantly when she leaned closer to her screen and repeated the phrase, “Do you understand me?” I had to backtrack and try and go over what she had been saying, but I had found myself mesmerized by the gilded sword in the background. It hung from the back wall in all of its glory, and I was having a hard time trying to figure out why exactly a Starbucks manager had a sword hanging from her wall.
“Sim?” Inclining her head, the manager cleared her throat. “Did you hear me?”
I did. Sort of. Under no circumstances must I visit or go near 2nd Street Starbucks. If I did there would be dire consequences and I would face losing my job, or worse.
I wasn’t sure what “or worse” was, but from the way her expression twisted from funny-cat-lady to a potential employer, I didn’t want to ask.
Yikes.
“Uh, yeah,” I said. “I can’t go near the 2nd Street store.” I almost choked on a glass of water I had been slowly sipping throughout the interview. I had been sweating most of the day, dying in the intense June heat. It was a lot cooler in the evening in the city, but I was used to draining at least ten glasses a day. “Is that real?” I couldn’t help asking, pointing to the sword behind her.
I know you are supposed to maintain a certain professional persona and façade during professional work interviews with potential managers. However, I really wanted to know if that ancient thing was real, it was driving me crazy. Because questions were arising in my head: How did she get it? Was it hers? Was it for some kind of aesthetic and feng-shui, or was there more to it? From the look on the interviewer’s face, she seemed startled.
Whipping her head around, her strict grey ponytail hitting the screen, she nodded before turning back to me, her gaze flicking down to what I presumed was a script she was reading off—or maybe she was skimming through my printed-out resume. I wanted to ask her more about the elephant in the room, but she seemed satisfied with answering my question with a nod. She asked me more questions, mostly about my work ethic and if I enjoyed working in a team and independently, if I had any special requirements, and oddly—if I had ever held a firearm. Now, that caused alarm bells. Along with the gilded sword dangling from this forty-something-year-old’s lounge wall, I was definitely starting to question the exact nature of what I would be doing at this job. Serving coffee was an obvious one, though I was pretty sure Starbucks barista's didn’t require military-style training.
When I didn’t know what to say, she seemed to back-pedal. “Oh, it’s in case of a robbery.” She said. But her expression stayed stoic. Speaking in the tone of being joking, but not being joking. “It is rare. However, it is a precaution we must take.” Choosing her words carefully, the interviewer steepled her hands in front of her face, leaning her chin on her fingers. “Our employees are given basic fire-arm training in the instance that one day we may face a difficult situation. Now, I am not saying it is inevitable, but due to certain behavior throughout the years, it is, of course, better to be safe than sorry.”
“Oh.” I tried to smile. “No, I haven’t,” I paused, hoping my lack of ability to hold a gun wouldn’t screw up my chances. “But I can learn?”
I said it like a question because it was a question. I was questioning myself why exactly I would take up my time learning to shoot a gun I most likely never would need. To my surprise though, the woman’s smile brightened and she looked down at whatever she was writing.
“Of course,” she said. “Sim, I am very happy to hear that. We love employees who do their best to learn and thrive in our working environment,” she paused and typed something on her laptop before her gaze found mine. “I’ll put you down for lessons on Friday mornings. How does that sound?” Before I could answer her—because I was starting to seriously question why she was so obsessed with training me to use a goddamn gun—she was nodding to herself. “I will put Jude in charge of you. I think he is working on Friday, so your induction and welcome can be completed in the morning…”
She trailed off into her own murmured conversation to herself before clearing her throat. I jumped. I didn’t mean to jump, but her whole presence was putting me on edge. The lady had been nicer on the phone, and earlier on in the interview when she was grilling me on which Frozen character was my favorite.
“Okay!” The interviewer gathered up her paperwork, beaming at me through the camera. “Can you start tomorrow? Let’s say…” her eyebrows furrowed together. “5:30? I will not be there for the first hour due to certain obligations,” she traced her lip with the tip of her index. “However, I have four employees working the front desk, I’m sure they will give you a warm welcome.” I noticed something twitch on her lips. It was almost like she was trying to stop herself from laughing—which was childish from a standpoint where I was the younger one, while she was the senior. She was supposed to be setting some kind of standard, and yet for some reason was more inclined in teasing me about workplace friendships, and apparently how “close” my colleagues were. I wasn’t stupid, I knew what friendship was like in the workplace. It’s not “real” because you’re all there to do a job, not making lifelong friendships.
“I’m looking forward to meeting them,” I said when she snorted out a laugh that twisted up my gut.
"Absolutely," she responded. "The team is very close, so don't take it personally if they're initially cautious. I'm confident that you'll all become great friends! Kai is a kind-hearted sweetheart, while Ana may seem standoffish initially, but she'll warm up to you once you get to know her. Jude, on the other hand, will be your guide during the orientation, so it's best to stay close to him. In fact, it's recommended to shadow him during your first few hours since he's our top performer! Frankly, Sim, I can hardly wait for you to meet them! They're a great group!" This woman seemed to suddenly discover the use of expletives, or maybe she had noticed I visibly wanted to crawl into the ground. The way she was describing the other employees, I was expecting cartoon characters when I walked through the door.
“Right,” I said. I was starting to regret applying. “I’ll be there.”
She ended the call with a bright smile, and her stupid cat walking on the keyboard, causing her to squeak out in horror. I shut my laptop, my cheeks burning. Well, that went…? Well? Could I really say it went well when the manager had spent the last five minutes implying my work colleagues were going to hate me? Fuck.
I didn’t want to go. I trashed my application and deleted her number from my phone. But the morning after, however, I came to the quick realization through precious morning caffeine, that I needed cash. So, no matter how much I didn’t want to go—I had to. So, I headed to classes and tried not to think about it. It was 5:34 when I stepped into the familiar glow of the famous store—not before being stopped in the middle of a crowed by a girl wearing bright pink ray-bans and a scowl. “Do you work there?” she turned and pointed to the store.
I shrugged. “I guess.”
She scoffed, slipping off her ray-bans and fixing me with a bitchy smile. “Your funeral.”
Normally, in situations when strangers say odd things to me on the street, I just laugh it off. But this? This seemed personal.
“What?”
The girl didn’t say anything before turning and walking or rather running away.
Well, that was weird.
After that encounter, I was weighing the positives and negatives of taking up the job. The positives would be cash and something to occupy my mind away from classes, and the negatives were being stuck with insufferable colleagues and a manager who was the embodiment of unprofessional. The store was pretty empty when I stepped through automatic doors, reveling in the cooling fan blasting icy cold air in my face. A dark-haired college girl had her back to me, cleaning tables. But I noticed her stiffening up when I took a step forward. She straightened up like a cat going into territorial mode, before relaxing and holding a two-fingered hand up.
The store was empty so I had no idea who she was signaling to. It wasn’t a greeting to me—I had no idea what it was. I was halfway to the counter before a guy popped up out of nowhere, mid-way through drying a cup with a washrag. His hair was the first thing I noticed. Bright red.
In contrast to his pasty skin, this guy would definitely stand out in a crowd. He was my age or maybe a little older, mid twenties, with a wide smile and not much of anything else, kitted in a short-sleeved shirt, and a Starbucks apron over the top.
I expected quirky cartoon-like weirdos and I got an average Joe. I wasn’t complaining.
Initially, I thought this guy was just another jock-like college guy. But looking closer, the friendliness in his eyes wasn’t sincere, and his smile was strained. Keeping up a professional attitude, he regarded me with a smile, leaning across the counter. But his eyes kept flicking to the door in quick succession like he was waiting for a certain someone to come in. “You.” He pointed at me, trailing his finger to the door, swiping hair from his face with his hand. The guy was bouncing on the heels of his toes, I noticed. He couldn’t stand still, like a hyperactive child. “You’re Sim, The newbie I’m supposed to be training.”
I nodded, offering a nervous wave.
“Jude.” He introduced himself, though clearly distracted, his gaze flicking to and from the door. His facade was friendly enough, but very fake. It was the same smile I presumed he flashed at customers who complimented his looks. “Hey, Sim.”
Instead of holding out his hand for me to shake, he folded his arms across his chest. Jude cocked his head, drinking me in before his lips broke out into a beam.
"Shall we get started?"
Jude started the tour, showing me the store itself, then the back, the storage room, the staff room, and bizarrely, a wooden door which he referred to as, “The Drink”. I had no idea what that meant, but I made a mental note to steer away from it.
The backrooms of the store turned into a labyrinth. The place was covered in mold, peeling paint on the doors and old rugged floor tiles. Jude spoke way too fast like he was intentionally trying to confuse me. By the time I was struggling with my apron, he was turning on his heels with a brow raised. “Your hair is too long so you need to tie it up. You can shadow me this evening but don’t get in my way. We have two twenty-minute breaks and during them, we are contractually obligated to go down to the Second Street store and throw eggs at their windows—ooh, and the girl you just met who didn’t say a word? That’s Ana. You will get used to her.” His smile reached a level of fake I didn’t think was possible. “Why don’t you follow me?”
“What?” I managed to hiss out when Jude was leading me down a long, winding corridor that dipped into various rooms, out-of-order elevators, and the creepiest set of stairs I had ever seen leading into the pitch dark. I was still trying to register his words.
Jude twisted around with a frown. “What’s up?” He nodded at a passing blonde girl who shot me a smile, and hive-fived Jude before disappearing through a door.
“You throw eggs at the store down the road?”
The guy’s lip twitched into the start of a smile. He turned around, quickening his pace. “Did I say that? Obviously, I was joking.”
I stumbled after him, knocking into a dark-haired younger guy carrying a tray of cupcakes. He and Jude seemed to exchange words without speaking before Jude gestured to the stranger. Somehow, I figured out their telepathic conversation through eye movements and strained smiles, they weren’t talking about me. “That’s Kai,” Jude said, pushing through the doors back to the main storefront. He took a customer’s order, retaining that stupid smile. “If you need any help with making those annoying TikTok drinks that take a millennia to make and have probably broken several Geneva convention rules?” He playfully knocked into me while preparing a drink, his hands knowing where everything was, preparing and serving a latte in a matter of minutes, “Kai is your guy! He runs our social media page and is practically a connoisseur on the next big trend. He'll deal with zoomers."
I was slowly starting to ease my way into this job, and my colleagues seemed pretty cool. Jude actually helped me all the way through the evening, introducing his home life and how he grew up as he cleaned tables and conversed with the others—always throwing me into their chatting so I didn’t get left out. I ended up sorting through cookies and making price labels with Aurora, the perky blonde who high-fived Jude earlier. She spoke to me like we had been best friends for years, and that part of her charm made me instantly adore her. She was tiny for her age, but a menace when it came to her sharp tongue and language. I didn’t think a tiny thing like her could swear like a goddamn sailor, but it was cute. Jude and Aurora had a sibling-type thing going on, though every time I caught Kai’s eye, he was smirking. It seemed everyone knew they had a thing except them.
I was actually having fun with the others, bobbing my head to the radio while serving a group of kids, when Jude, who was next to me, seemed to go rigid all of a sudden. His laughing smile carved into something else. I had never seen an expression change so fast.
But he wasn’t the only one. Aurora, cleaning tables and giggling at Jude’s joke, straightened up, her eyes flashing to the door. Kai’s head snapped up from where he had been grinding coffee. Following their gaze, I found myself face-to-face with the manager who interviewed me. But unlike the night before, she was not smiling. The woman dropped her bag at the door before marching towards the counter. Jude leaned over; his expression apprehensive.
“Well?”
His eyes as well as his tone had darkened significantly. All of my colleagues had taken off these masks, these facades of joking smiles and bright eyes, and now I was seeing a glimmer of what they were hiding. What Jude had been looking for all evening, sneaking glances at the door. I watched his gaze follow the manager as she paced back and forth, chewing her nails. “Where is he?”
“I don’t know.” She finally said, lifting her head. Her lips were twisted. “But.” She said, spitting each word, as she rounded the counter, helping herself to coffee. “You’re going to pay a visit to them right now, and…and sort this out once and for all.” Her voice resembled that of a mother talking to her children. She was assertive to them, her eyes piercing. Do you understand me?” The woman nodded at Jude. “You can go.” Her eyes found mine. “Take the new girl, she needs to be inducted.” Finally, she turned to Ana, who was standing in the corner silently. “You are too. I need brains, and Jude is just brawn. Keep him on his toes, young lady."
With a hint of sarcasm in his tone, Jude uttered a brief "Thanks," and then proceeded to take a coffee cup and a Sharpie. Swiftly, he scrawled some words on the side of the cup, before placing it inside a bag and plonking it in front of me. As Jude reached for his coat at the back, he put it on over his green Starbucks apron, creating a striking contrast with his denim blue sherpa. With his mop of red curls, this guy was in no way going to be as incognito as he thought. "We'll manage the conversation,” he said hurriedly, visibly excited. Jude seemed to lead the others in their expressions, his confidence and wit causing them to brighten up, adapting wide smiles. He shoved his hands in his pockets, “All you gotta do is hand them this, okay?”
“Is that a good…” Kai drifted off on whatever he was about to say, ducking his head when Jude shot him a glare.
“I think it’s a perfect idea!” The manager beamed at me. “What a way to fully bring you into our family!”
I took the coffee cup (the empty coffee cup) hesitantly. “What is it?”
“It’s a gift!” Jude said, moving towards the door in long strides. It was all too noticeable that this guy was practically vibrating with an energy I had never known. It was almost manic. “I want to let them know we appreciate them! Y’know! Rival to rival.”
Kai stepped in front of him on the way out.
“Be careful,” he said in a low hum. Aurora joined him, but she wasn’t speaking, her left-hand tugging at the waistband of her jeans. “Keep your head down when you go in because they’ll be expecting you—and they’ll be expecting a retaliation.”
“Relaaaaax, it’s Cora! We used to date!” he cocked his head. "I think."
“I mean it. "
Jude’s gaze found mine for a moment before his smile grew. “Well, we have enough eggs don’t we?” He grabbed my arm, pulling me along. Ana was already gone. I could see her figure already slinking down the street, bleeding into the shadow.
When the two of us hit the cool night air and Jude quickened his pace into a power-walk, his eyes set forwards, jaw set, I figured I should ask what his deal was. If this guy was serious about vandalizing a rival Starbucks, and not just that, urged by his manager, then I had to say something.
The thought of ending up in jail being petty over a rival store made me feel nauseous.
“So, what is this about?” I asked, catapulting myself into a half-run to keep up with him. The guy had abnormally long legs, so he was halfway across the sidewalk while I was barely two steps in front. “Aren’t you taking this a little too seriously?”
Jude didn’t reply, instead remarking on the sky being filled with stars.
“Hey, Ana!” He shouted. “Wait up!”
Second Street Starbucks was like walking into a palace. I could tell why these guys were rivals. The place was a three-floored beast, a glass building made up of a Starbucks downstairs, a library, and a private apartment. I found myself mesmerized by the twinkling lights on the door, the mini water fountain through large windows showing an even bigger storefront with rich-looking wooden tables and reclining chairs. The store was closing. When we stepped in front of the door, there was a sign which clearly said CLOSED on the front.
Still, though, Ana pushed her way through it, followed by Jude, pulling me along with him. Two employees were working, a guy with short blondish hair mopping the floors, and a girl standing at the counter, going through the register. The moment we stepped inside, the guy cleaning up stopped mopping from side to side, his fingers visibly tightening around the mop handle. “Hey there!”
With one of his best fake smiles, Jude raised his arms in surrender. “We’re from the Starbucks down the road. We come in peace, don’t worry!” He gestured to me.
“Can we talk to your manager?”
He took a step, his lip twitching, eyes glinting, which caused a stir in the air. The girl at the counter stopped flicking through a wad of cash in her hand and delicately put it down, and the guy turned to face us with wary eyes.
As Jude took another stride forward, his movements resembled a dance, and I noticed he was having fun teasing them. His eyes sparkled with a childlike glee that was unexpected for a person in his twenties. "Would you like to try our latest coffee recipe? It's like sipping on liquid sunshine." He nonchalantly brushed his jeans, and I half-expected him to pull out an egg. “But…” Jude took another step, and Ana situated herself behind the blonde boy, her expression blank. “You’ve already tasted it, haven’t you?”
The girl behind the counter finally stopped counting cash, delicately placing a wad back inside the register before leaning forward, an amused smirk curving on her lips. “Jude.” Her voice was a low murmur. “I didn’t think I would see you here so soon.”
“Cora.” Jude’s lips quirked. “Trust me, I don’t want to be. But hey, it's the boss's orders.”
She inclined her head, her eyes drinking all of him in. The girl rested her fist on her chin. She was surveying him like a piece of meat. “And you obey her?”
His grin widened, and I saw his hand once again brush the front of his apron. “Like a dog.”
“You know her?” I hissed out, grasping hold of the coffee cup in my hand.
“Cora?” Jude turned to me. “Oh yeah, we used to be the Romeo and Juliet of coffee shop rivalry — back when we were both newbies, and our store kidnapped me as a last resort. To keep the peace, I stayed.” He shrugged. “That’s what I’m told, anyway.”
Starbucks lore was getting dark.
These guys had to be joking around.
I took a step back, eager to head towards the door and be as far away as possible from what I was pretty sure was going to be a lot of eggs, and several arrests. “You worked here?” I couldn’t believe my mouth was still moving and forming words as I took slow steps back. Before Jude caught my arm.
“Apparently.” He said, dragging me back by his side. “Why don’t you give ‘em’ their gift?”
Fuck.
Unwrapping the bag and pulling out the cup, I nodded and took slow strides toward the counter, placing it down in front of her.
Cora frowned, before picking it up, her gaze going to the side.
“Go fuck yourself 2nd street bloodsuckers.” She read out loud, her brow raising into her hairline.
Shit.
“I should probably go.” I managed to say, backing away. “I don’t think is the job for me—”
The latter half of my words exploded in my head when something slammed into my ears, a physical force sending me to my knees. Initially, I didn’t know what it was. It sounded like a nuclear bomb had gone off. When the ringing in my head subsided, I was aware I had my head buried in my knees, my hands clamped over my ears.
But when I tried to listen past the relentless shrill ringing in my skull, I heard them one after the other. Pop, pop, pop! Gunshots. The crack of each bullet ricocheted in my skull. It was a robbery, I thought dizzily. We were being robbed. No, Second Street was being robbed. When I lifted my head to try and find Jude and Ana to see if they were okay-- I expected them to be cowering like me, Jude, under the table, muffling yelling into his hand, and Ana, calmly pulling him to safety. But that wasn't what I saw. Instead, I must have been fucking imagining things. Jude had not moved from his spot-- and perfectly melded into his hand, was a gun. A gun he was holding like a pro, his hands wrapped around the butt, index teasing the trigger.
His trajectory was directly between Cora's eyes. Jude had not been the one who shot the gun. In fact, neither had Ana, who was still standing stiffly behind the blonde guy.
It was a girl behind the counter who had come out of nowhere wielding the type of gun I expected to see in movies. I noticed from his stance Jude had maybe stepped to the left and then the right to avoid being hit, but the way his demeanour was fully and completely relaxed sent shivers creeping down my spine. "The deal is off, Cora," he murmured. "You fuck with us, so we fuck with you." he lowered his gun slightly, his eyes darkening. "Where's Ren? He came here to sniff you out, so where is he?"
Cora seemed remarkably calm. She started to raise her hands, her lips forming the words, "I don't know what you're talking about" before she stopped, her body going limp. It took me a disorienting moment to realize Jude had taken the shot, followed by another, both landing right between her eyes. When Cora hit the ground, the whole world around me exploded.
I was dragged to the ground by Jude, as he dived across the floor, pressing himself into the back of a table, twisting around, and taking out the barista who almost shot me in the face. There were five of them, all of them good shooters. Too good. Ana easily took out a blonde and brunette with her own magnum, followed by a bald guy who crashed through the counter which collapsed under him.
Jude fell into a manic shoot-out with a guy who would not give up, and after several attempts, re-loading, and attempting to finish him from the ground, my colleague got tired and stood up, dropped his gun, and leaped across the counter. I didn't know what to watch. Ana, who was destroying their coffee machine, or Jude, who snapped the boy's neck with a single twist of his fingers, before ripping out his eyes. He hauled the dead guy over his knees, grazing his teeth across the pasty flesh of the boy's neck, his eyes flickering. I wouldn’t say they turned a different color, but there was something inhuman about them, a certain tint around his iris. "Urgh."
He shoved the corpse away, jumping up. "He reeks of it." Treading through broken glass and pooling red on the floor, my colleague grabbed a cup, downed it, and then spat it out. “That.” He sputtered. “Is the worst fucking thing I’ve ever tasted.”
Ana stepped in front of him, handing the boy his gun. “When one of any clan is murdered for with no reason, there is an imbalance, and the coffee is tainted. We must restore the balance before this gets out of hand,” she surprised me by speaking, with a tinge of an Aussie accent. The girl side-eyed me before shooting Jude a knowing look. “Don’t let her get in our way.”
“Aye, aye, captain.” He mocked a salute before nodding to me. “All right! Sim, you grab a sample. We’ll go find the altar.”
Something ice-cold slipped down my spine.
“What?”
“Cool it. It’s more fun than it sounds,” was all Jude responded with. “Grab the samples.”
I was running on adrenaline, doing exactly what he said. I grabbed two coffee cups. “What do we do now? We go home, right?”
He swiped at his lips with a sound of disgust. “Are you kidding? No, man. We get coffee which ain’t tainted.”
Ana took out two guards in the back before leading us both through a heavy metal door that led into tunnels, tunnels, illuminated by candlelight. “You just killed multiple people,” I finally managed to choke out, following the two of them deeper into the dark. “Over coffee.” I couldn’t resist a nervous laugh that spluttered into a cry. “You just murdered seven baristas over fucking coffee!” I found myself backing away at points, scanning for a way out, an exit away from this fucking nightmare.
Jude turned to me, the glitter in his eyes reflected in the candlelight. “Oh, please,” His voice echoed down the tunnel in a chuckle. “Do you really think this is just about coffee?”
I didn't understand what he meant until we came to the end of the tunnel, which dipped into an alcove leading us into a large cave-like room. Drawing his gun, Jude scanned the dark. "Anyone in here?" He said, and Ana hit him. Silence answered, and I found myself paralyzed to the spot. I didn't know what to stare at first. The ten-foot-tall Starbucks Siren looming over us, illuminated in flickering orange candlelight, or the old swimming pool filled to the brim. When I took a step forward, my foot sunk into something soft, and I made the mistake of looking down. Bodies.
I guessed that was "The Drink".
I felt myself fall back, but Ana's warm arms were guiding me away from decomposing flesh which decapitated heads poisoned in a way that I could almost call ritualistic. There were bodies everywhere, all of them curled up or had died in a position of prayer. Jude crouched in front of a guy still in his Starbucks apron. His eyes had been cleanly plucked from his skull. Jude's expression was beautifully sombre in the candlelight. "Fuck, dude," he whispered.
"Looks like they got you."
“Which explains how they got their hands on our recipe.” Ana pulled out her gun and clicked off the safety. The girl’s eyes were suddenly sad, her lip wobbling. I had a hard time believing a girl who had taken out three baristas at point-blank range was crying.
"Through him."
“What is this place?” I whispered. "What the fuck are you doing in here?”
Jude straightened up. Ana moved behind him, and I noticed her hands holding her gun were trembling. She raised her arm, pointing it at the back of his head. Jude didn't retaliate, only sending me a sickly smile. "It used to be ours," he said. "Until other stores started opening, and it became a fucking free-for-all." Jude sighed, rocking back and forth on his heel. Ana's trigger finger followed his movements. "We have a peace treaty..." Jude trailed off. "Sorry. HAD a peace treaty." He nodded to his colleague. "Second Street has always been obsessed with this particular blend we have that other stores don't." His lips curved. "They're greedy, and thought they could fuck with us. First, they took our last manager. He was like a dad to us. Sliced him up and sent us his head." He gestured to his friend. "And then they took Ren. They brought this shit upon themselves."
As he spoke, Jude dropped to his knees and closed his eyes, bowing his head in front of the Siren. Ana didn't move. "Are you ready?"
“Always.”
I screamed, slamming my hand over my mouth when this time when Ana shot Jude point blank in the back of the head. When his body crumpled to the ground, something inside me snapped in two, and I couldn’t breathe suddenly. I thought the two were playing some kind of sick game before I caught unmistakable seeping black pooling across the alter.
In the blur of orange candlelight, it was almost a mesmerizing sight. “Shush!” Ana sent me an annoyed look, before gathering his body in her arm. “Make yourself useful and grab a bucket,” she said, stumbling towards the pool. I watched her, my heart diving into my throat. When I didn’t move, Ana hissed out and twisted around.
“Did you not hear me?!” she yelled. “Get a bucket and start collecting it!” The girl gestured towards a large, rusted pipe looming over the pool, a stream of murky brown water leaking into the pool. When I started forwards, the girl shook her head. “Not yet.” She said, before heaving Jude’s body and throwing him into the darkness. I heard the splash, but I didn’t even see his body hit the surface. Part of me wanted to demand what the fuck she was doing, but I did what I was told, with trembling hands, grabbing a bucket and shuffling over to the pool edge. Ana hissed out again. “I said not yet!” Before I could speak, she held a finger to her lips. “Do it now!”
“The pool water?!” I shrieked.
She raised a brow. “You think that’s water?”
Before I could coerce some kind of speech, I was interrupted by what felt like a sudden earthquake. The ground rumbled under our feet, and I hesitated before dropping the bucket into the water and scooping up as much as I could. I quickly realized it wasn’t water. It was thick with the constancy of blood, coffee brown and yet sticky and warm like blood.
Above us, the pipe seemed to come to life, a brand new stream of murky brown solution coming down in a waterfall. I didn’t think about the pieces of flesh floating on the surface, the decomposing heads I caught bobbing around, or the fact that I was dipping my hands in blood. Coffee and blood. My stomach was trying to projectile my lunch, but I swallowed it down. I took advantage, managing three buckets before Ana was grasping my shoulders and pulled me back. I didn’t realize I was sobbing until she was handing me a handkerchief, and I was staring at her and it, like, “What do you expect me to do with this?!”
Still in shock, I tried to get another bucket full before she dragged me from the pool edge. “You can stop now,” she said. “We have enough.”
"Enough what?!"
I staggered back when the surface of the pool rippled. I don’t know what I expected to come out.
Dead bodies?
Decapitated heads?
Not Jude, covered in the brown murky shit I had filled the buckets with. When he broke the surface, I almost threw one of the buckets at his head. Despite being covered in coffee and blood, his skin was oddly free of flaws. The guy was also really naked, which should have been a minor problem compared to what I was seeing, which was a real resurrection in front of a ten-foot statue of the Starbucks siren. Which was completely normal.
But I still found my cheeks heating up. Jude ran a hand through soaked curls sticking over his eyes, shaking them like a dog before pulling himself out. I couldn’t help noticing there was no gunshot wound. It was almost as if his body was completely new. I took in abnormally grey-looking skin, like dead flesh, before averting my gaze. “Did we do it?” He gasped out, immediately covering himself. Once out of the pool, he knelt on the ground, sucking in breaths of air before seemingly realizing the state of himself.
“Fuck. I didn’t think this through.”
“I did.” Ana reached into the backpack she had brought, pulling out a shirt and jeans, reverting her eyes, and throwing him the bundle. “Get dressed.” She said, But there was a slight smirk on her lips. “Yes. I think we managed to appease them.”
“Sweet!” Jude grinned, dressing quickly. He sucked the tips of his fingers. “Mmm.” He nodded at Ana. “That tastes a lot better.”
He gestured to her, and to my disgust, the girl delicately licked his fingers and nodded with her own smile. “It tastes like cherry blossom.”
His eyes fell on me, and I saw that inhuman gleam in his eye—that had been very much there before he was resurrected in a pool of coffee. His lip quirked. I could still see coffee-- or blood dripping in thick rivulets down his temples and cheek. “Should we?”
Jude turned to Ana. “I mean while we’re here, right? We can induct the newbie.”
Immediately, I knew what he was talking about. I stepped back, but he was following me, getting closer and closer until his breath was in my face, and I was teetering on the edge. I sensed something in his eyes, something I never expected from a man who knew exactly what he was doing. Envy. Another step, and I would be falling into what I was sure was a pool full of decomposing bodies and resurrecting coffee. “Not now,” Ana murmured, and Jude snapped out of it, taking a step back.
“Buzzkill.” He muttered.
But he did step away, allowing me to inch away from the pool.
“Later,” Ana said. “She’s shaken up. We can do it first thing tomorrow.”
To my surprise, there were no cops at the scene at Second Street. Because there was no scene.
The store was back to normal, and I didn’t have the energy to question why. When we returned, Aurora wrapped me into a hug I tried to get out of as quickly as possible, eager to get the fuck away from that place. But. I had to finish my shift. I had watched a man resurrected by coffee in a fucking Starbucks shrine, and yet somehow I had to keep making drinks until my shift ended. It was nearing closing time when the doors opened, and I found myself face-to-face with the girl from earlier. The one wearing the pink ray-bans.
She didn’t say anything, but the blade of her knife grazing my gut told me everything I needed to know. With a knowing look when she slipped off her raybans, she pressed something into my hand before leaving, and I handed it to the manager, who opened it up, almost died laughing, and then threw it in the trash.
“You work for psychopaths.” I managed to get out, sidling in front of Jude while he was clocking out.
“Also, didn’t you… didn’t you fucking die?”
Jude didn’t look up from his phone. “It’s complicated.” His lip quirked. “You’ll find out tomorrow during your induction.”
“But… you work for these people!” I lowered my voice. “And you’re not trying to get away?” I gestured to Kai and Aurora standing by the door, the two of them locked in conversation. “None of you?”
Jude frowned, and I caught the first hint of annoyance. I had only seen this guy smiling, so seeing him scowling was quite the change. “I’m sorry, do you… do you think I have a choice?”
He surprised me with a laugh. “Me? A choice? You really think I wake up every morning and WANT to do this shit?” He got close, his breath in my ear. “You came here willingly. I didn’t. In fact? I don’t even remember coming here. My interview, my first day? Nothing. I don’t even remember my time at Second Street.” He threw a towel at me before I could coerce words. “Finish clearing up, all right? I’ll see you tomorrow for induction.”
There was something cruel in his smile like he was waiting for whatever my induction had in store for me.
I couldn’t help myself. When everyone was gone, and I was tasked with locking up, I picked the discarded note out of the trash, smoothing it down.
“You pieces of shit just declared war. Sleep with one eye open! 😊”
Cora xx.”
….
I cut my finger with a knife this morning. When I sucked it and grabbed a band-aid, I tasted coffee. I went home and threw up coffee.
I am peeing coffee.
I showered 8 times and I still fucking smell of coffee.
I don’t think I’m going to go to work tomorrow.
Edit: There’s been a break-in— and the manager wants me to come in early. Jude and Ana woke me up in the middle of the night to go over tactics. We are taking down Second Street during closing time.
I guess I am going to work tomorrow.
Does anyone know how to use a gun?

Co-Authored by me and u/Research-Apart, a big thanks to u/Acceptable_Egg5560 for letting us use Tarlim, and for helping write him
Well that took a while, hope it was worth the wait, the next chapter shouldn't take as long
CW: >! Gore and violence !<
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> Access File: Hybris (9)
[OPENING FILE]
Notice from Department of Extrasolar Records: These records were discovered in a floating black box data recording in the Gliese 832 system. These transcriptions contain the memories of prominent individuals who were directly involved with the events detailed below. The components of the transcription technology used are under review by the Department of Xenotechnology, and any transcriptions found within the data logs will be transferred directly to the Department of Extrasolar Records for further processing.
____________________________________________________________________________________
Memory transcription subject: Tarlim, Venlil Civilian
Date [standardized human time]: April 4, 2143
I don’t know how long I was in hiding for, I just remember hearing the screams of people outside before falling asleep when it all died down. I got up from the floor and peaked out of my closet to see if there was a break in before leaving it entirely. I checked my front door to see if the locks were still locked and, luckily enough, it was still intact. I set out a sigh of relief before walking back to my living room and slumping back down on my couch. I took my medication as I picked up my datapad from the floor, hoping everything that happened earlier was just a bad dream. The first thing I noticed was that my pad spat back an error message. That was strange, the infrastructure was too developed to not have net access in the middle of a city.
Glancing up towards the window, I noticed a strange red hue coming from behind the curtain. I set my pad down on the couch as I got up and walked to the window. I could feel my paws begin to shake as I grabbed the curtains. Anticipating the worst, I hesitantly opened the curtains and peaked outside. It was worse than anything I could have expected: The remains of dead Venlil littered the street below as more continued to pile on. Orange blood coated the surrounding building walls as mutated Venlil ripped apart anyone they got their paws on. One of them eventually came across a mother and child attempting to hide underneath the surrounding rubble. It didn’t hesitate to attack the woman before another mutant came by to try and steal its catch. They fought each other relentlessly, trying to keep her in their grasp. Their claws tore deeply into her skin and muscles as they fought, causing her to scream from the unimaginable amount of pain. She took one last look at her child and yelled at him to run before her throat was torn off.
The child ran for his life, dodging around rubble and mutants and for a brief moment, I thought he might make it! Then a mutant Krakotl swooped down over him, a barbed tendril emerged from its beak and stabbed the pup in the shoulder. Screaming in pain he was lifted into the air as the mutant flew off to Protector knows where. As I swept my gaze across the city, similar scenes played out: survivors ran through the streets, slipping on pools of blood as they were pursued by packs of mutants; doors and windows were smashed to pieces as people looted for supplies; buildings were engulfed in flames as malfunctioning fire traps and improvised weapons were set off; mutants of every conceivable species rampaged through the city, attacking everyone they could find.
I fell to my knees as I vomited from the sight of the massacre outside. The blood, the gore, it was too much! My consciousness was escaping me as my heart pounded in my chest. I was hyperventilating, I was going to die, everything swirled around I was, I couldn’t-
Focus.
Breathe.
Calm.
Forcing the tirade of emotion back I shakely I got back up and looked back outside, only to lock eyes with one of the mutant Venlil. Its head turned to stare at me, its eye solid black with streaks of red running through it. For a moment, we simply stared at each other, before it started to run towards my apartment complex in a strange loping gait. It was picking up speed with every step and soon ran on all fours, galloping over rubble and trappling eviscerated corpses. I stumbled away from the window and ran to my door. There was no spehing way that I was fighting that thing. Right when I unlocked it, I heard the shattering of glass behind me. In the corner of my eye I could see the monster clambering through the window, shards of broken glass tearing at its flesh. I went through the door as fast as I could as it regained its posture. The moment I closed it behind me, I heard a loud thud behind me, signifying the mutant had attempted to lunge at me, ‘How the speh did it reach my window!? I’m four stories up!’ I thought before running down the hallway.
As I ran down through the hallway, I could see the place was in ruin: the walls that lined the hallway were torn and covered in streaks of Venlil blood as the lights above flickered unrhythmically. I zigzagged from door to door, looking for somewhere to hide, but every apartment was locked. I soon heard the bang of a door being knocked off its hinges from down the corridor. I felt my heart pounding, threatening to burst out of my chest at the exertion, but I pushed on. I briefly considered the elevator upon reaching the end of the corridor, but realized power to it was most likely cut. I ran to the stairwell and raced down it as fast as I could, taking two or three steps at a time. I could hear the creature burst into the stairwell as soon as I reached the first floor. That thing was fast, too fast.
I ran through the hallways of the first floor and saw that most of the apartments had already been broken into. The people who used to live here are either dead, mutated, or in hiding. I could feel my legs starting to ache from running so fast for so long, but I couldn’t stop. I could feel my quads beginning to tear underneath my skin as my heart pounded vigorously. I could try to hide in one of the open apartments, but what difference would that make? I would just be waiting to die. I can’t keep running like this, I need something to defend myself with.
As the pain within my legs began to set in, I decided to run into one of the open apartments anyway to escape that thing. Upon entering, I ran through the ruined apartment and went straight into the bathroom to hide. I closed and locked the door as quietly as possible before taking stock of the room. Compared to the rest of the apartment, hell the rest of the complex, it looked disturbingly normal. I looked around for a few moments to see if there was anything I could use in case that thing does find me, but there was nothing. Then I noticed a window looking out onto an alleyway. I went to the window and fumbled at the latch and pushed it open. Quickly crawling my way through, I stumbled slightly as I hit the ground. Looking around, I spotted an abandoned shipping crate sitting against the wall. I shifted my weight and prepared to run when I heard the cracking of splintering wood behind me. I sprinted down the alleyway and slid behind the crate without bothering to look behind me. There was more cracking and splintering and the twisted pants of the mutant. Cautiously peeking around the crate, I saw it stepping out of the window frame. The shattered remains of the window sitting on the floor below it. It stalked down the alleyway towards me, its eyes scanning for any sign of its prey. Ducking back behind my crate, I frantically searched for anything I could use to fight. As I shuffled further behind the crate, I felt my paw brushed against a discarded wrench. someone had likely been performing maintenance on the exterior pipes and the wrench had been left behind. Gripping it tightly, I got myself into a crouching position and prepared to move at a moment's notice…
After a moment of silence, I heard a woman’s voice, “Tarlim, are you there? I heard a window break from around the corner,” she said
My ears peaked up at the voice, could that be…
“Barlen?” I said quietly.
“Barlen, keep your voice down!” I called out, I didn’t want her to get killed.
“Sorry” she replied, more quietly this time.
“There was a mutant crawling around here,” I told her.
“I saw it, it went the other way, it must have seen easier prey,” she responded.
I let out a sigh of relief and slowly got up to my feet, leaning against the crate, the wrench hanging loosely at my side.
“Thank the protector, it’s good to see a friendly face…”
I looked up, and sitting on the crate, was the creature.
“It’s good to see you too,” it said, perfectly mimicking Barlen’s voice.
Its three petaled mouth opened wide before pouncing at me. In a stroke of luck my body twisted and smacked it across the head with the wrench in my hands. It was hit so hard so quickly, I knocked out a couple teeth before it fell limp next to me. I took a few steps back before repeatedly hitting it in back of its head with the wrench in my paws. I don’t know how many times I did it, I just kept going until brain matter was exposed.
When I was sure it was dead, I fell back against the wall and sat down as I dropped the wrench next to me. I could feel my heart beginning to pound from exhaustion as I tried catching my breath.
Thoughts began to race through my mind as I stared at my paws in horror. This thing was not only incredibly fast and agile, but it was also capable of replicating voices. ‘How did it know Barlen’s voice, and how did it know it would work on me?’ I thought for a moment before remembering the press release prior to all of this. They showed a living planet, no bigger than a large moon, sitting motionless in the sky above as it formed an eye. I still remember the feeling it gave me: the horror was so great, I tried to convince myself before falling asleep that none of this was real; all of this was just a bad dream and I needed to wake up, but I knew that wasn’t true. I slowly turned my gaze up towards the sky and saw that thing looking down at us, looking down at me.
What if the reason why the mutant was able to figure out what voice to use to draw me out was because it wasn’t on its own? What if all those infected aren’t senseless monsters, but they were that thing’s puppets. They all bend to its will without question, and I have a reason to believe it can see through their eyes too.
The sound of distant roars quickly snapped me back to reality as I sat with my blood covered paws. Picking up my bloodied wrench, I slowly made my way down the alleyway and out into the street. I could feel my heart screaming in pain at the recent exertion, not once have I ever pushed my body so hard in my life. Carefully peering around the corner of the apartment complex, I scanned the street before me. It was completely deserted and any possible living thing that was here is either dead or in hiding. I took one last look around before leaving the backstreet. Creeping between overturned cars and mangled corpses, I kept my eyes peeled for any more of those mutants nearby. I was in such a fearful state, I could feel my body tense up at every unidentified noise and shadow. Twice I spotted mutants prowling the streets, but I was able to avoid them by staying hidden. Eventually, I circled back to my apartment building after making sure the coast was clear. I kept my eyes peeled and listened closely to my surroundings as I made my way upstairs. I can see all the damage that thing left behind as it chased me. I’m glad I was able to kill that thing when I did because if it had caught me I would be more than dead. I eventually reached my apartment four stories up and looked in from behind the door frame. The room was a mess: shattered glass and ripped curtains littered the floor as my window remained permanently open; my furniture was broken and torn into as everything else beyond the living room remained untouched. I looked in the dining room and saw my pack was still sitting on the table. After checking my bag to see if my pills were still there, I quickly searched for any food and water before making my way back outside. I needed to find somewhere safe.
As I crept through another back alley, I tried to remember the directions for the shelter. We were supposed to memorize their locations in the event of a raid, but I had for some reason not been included in the regular drills. Fortunately, they were not that hard to find, which seemed like a possible design flaw in retrospect. My musings were interrupted when I felt my pad vibrate in my pack. Confused, I reached in and pulled out my pad. I was honestly surprised it was getting a signal now. I looked at the alert and it says as follows:
“This is an emergency message sent to any and all remaining survivors of Dawn Creek and abroad: all emergency shelters within the surrounding cities have been compromised and any surviving Venlil are to find a place to hide and a weapon to defend yourselves with. These creatures are incredibly strong and agile and will do everything in their power to kill you no matter the cost. If you want to survive, you must follow these steps to the word:

1. When it is silent and a mutant nearby, stay still and hold your breath. These things have incredibly sensitive hearing and can hear your breathing from up to six tails (12 feet) away.
2. Stay out of sight and make sure they don’t see you. It is said that all of these creatures are somehow connected telepathically and function as a hive mind. If one of them sees you then they all know where you are.
3. Do not listen to them. If they fail to find you, they will mimic the voices of your close friends or loved ones in an attempt to draw you out. If you hear a familiar voice, do not respond.
4. When faced with a mutant, you must kill or maim them if you want a chance to escape. If you don’t then they will continue pursuing you. These things do not get tired and can chase you for miles without end.
5. If you survive an attack with an infected Venlil and they manage to breach skin or their bodily fluids enter your body in any way, it is recommended that you self terminate for the safety of the herd. It is estimated to take an eighth of a claw before whatever substance in said fluid enters the brain and converts you from the inside out.

May the protector save us all.”
I silently stared at the screen in mute horror after reading the last line. Every shelter in the area had been compromised and anyone taking refuge there was more than likely dead. Just how many died unable to escape as their friends and family were torn apart? The Arxur, on some level at least, killed for food, but these things didn’t do any of that: They don’t eat what they can and leave whoever left is alive to make more meat, they eviscerate any living thing they lay their eyes on in the most painful way possible. To say they’re as bad as the Arxur would be putting it lightly. These things are far worse than anything any species has come across. I looked up at the sky for a moment as I held my pad in my hands. Its eye staring down at us from above as it watches these creatures it has created mutilate my people.
‘If this thing is truly as powerful and dangerous as Tarva says, then just how old is this thing? How many species before us have been mercilessly slaughtered by it without a second thought?’ I thought to myself as I stared at the planet above.
Suddenly, I heard the sound of approaching footsteps from down the road. I felt my heart skip a beat before running to hide behind a turned over car. I pinned back my ears and cautiously looked over the side of the car and saw a small group of exterminators in their suits scouting the area. Not once in my life have I felt so happy to see them. I got out of hiding with my paws up to show I wasn’t infected. Upon seeing me, they put up their flamethrowers on the ready until one of them recognized me.
“Tarlim!? You’re alive!?” One of the Venlil exterminators exclaimed as he took off his mask.
“Treven!?” I exclaimed in response.
‘Of all the exterminators I could have run into, why him?’ I despondently wondered.
“I honestly thought a freak like you would die first. Seems like I was wrong,” Treven said mockingly, “How did you survive anyway?”
My grip on the wrench tightened. Even after everything that had happened, they still couldn’t let go of their prejudices.
“I don’t know. I guess I was lucky,” I replied simply.
Treven scoffed, “Was it the same luck that almost cost me everything?”
I stood silent at his response. I couldn’t believe that after everything he was still acting like this… this… stupid, selfish PRICK!
“Everything we've ever cared about, is gone.” I said, struggling to control my voice.
I spread my paws out, gesturing to the destroyed city around us.
“We’re facing down hordes of biologically impossible creatures controlled and created by an entity unfathomably more powerful than anything we’ve ever seen before!”
I noticed just then that I had been slowly stalking towards him, the wrench trembling in my paw.
“And your main concern is your SPEHING CAREER!?” I shouted.
Even now, this asshole still blames me for something HE did to himself. It was infuriating that this selfish speh was mad at me for losing his job even though they were the ones who almost killed Malcos!
I was about to shout again until one of the other exterminators, a white Venlil, came by and slapped Treven in the back of the head; the blow was hard enough to send him stumbling. Before he was able to respond, his mouth was covered by their coworkers' paw to keep him from speaking. It felt somewhat good seeing Treven put in his place, but I was confused on why. It wasn’t until he moved away from Treven when he decided to stay quiet and marched towards me with an annoyed yet fearful expression in his swaying tail. I was grabbed by the wool around my neck and pulled down to his line of sight before he started loudly whispering.
“Are you trying to get us killed!? We are literally at the ground zero and your shouting might have given away our position!” He quietly exclaimed, “We already had to deal with a horde on our way into the city and lost almost everyone. The six you see used to be a group of over two hundred exterminators!”
My heart sank after realizing what I had done: Not only did I possibly make our presence known, but this small group before me used to be multiple station's worth of exterminators. I was at a loss for words at my cluelessness and kept my mouth shut after I was let go. The Venlil in white soon signaled everyone in the group to continue moving forward and to keep their eyes peeled.
As we continued moving through the streets of Dawn Creek, we eventually heard the crunching of bone and sound of flesh being torn off from around the corner. The noise sent a chill up my spine and was extremely discomforting. I glanced at the exterminators surrounding me and saw them show a more fearful expression than me. If it was true that this group used to consist of a hundred exterminators, then they likely bore witness to seeing their comrades be torn to shreds first hand. Seeing something like that would be hard to live down, especially when the people you love are the ones being mauled to death.
The thought of what these people went through to get here changed how I saw them for a moment. Knowing what he had to witness, I began to rethink how I saw them when we crossed paths. I felt bad for them for a moment until I heard that loud crunch again, but this time it was louder.
The leading exterminator looked around the corner before continuing down the street. It was strange how empty the town was considering it was crawling with infected just a claw prior. They might have found new hunting grounds since this place is absent from life, but considering one of them has already seen me and the group there should have been at least a pawful chasing after us by now. They know we’re all alive, yet refuse to take action. Something is going on and I have a feeling it might pop up soon.
The sound of crunching became progressively louder as we quietly walked. The leading exterminator raised a paw, then slowly peered around the corner where the sound had come from. He stiffened suddenly, his entire body froze up before desperately diving back behind cover. Another exterminator, the mute one I think, grabbed him by the arm before he could collapse. The leader walked up to them, careful to not make any sounds that could attract attention.
“What’s wrong? What did you see?” he whispered to the point man.
He simply pointed back towards the crunching sound as his arm shook with fear. The leader’s tail swished in annoyance as he moved to the corner. Curious for myself, I followed closely behind him to take a look at whatever was out of view. He shot me a look of annoyance when I brushed up against him, but he didn’t object to me seeing. We both peered around the building towards the street with my face almost sitting on top of his head. My breath hitched in my throat as I saw what was standing there: feasting on a Mazic in the middle of a trashed shop was a massive, grotesque, monstrosity of a Venlil. It stood over 5 tails [3 meters] tall with tendrils of red flesh that shot through its bare skin. The muscles on its body were so large it seemed like they were on the edge of bursting out of its skin, and its enormous paws looked like it could wrap around my head with ease; its legs looked like they were about to explode from the sheer mass held within them. Not only that, but what separated it from the other infected was its face: it was the only one I have seen so far that didn’t have a split face like the others. This one was different for some reason; regardless, I didn’t want to get this thing's attention.
Placing a paw on the leader's shoulder we made our way back to the rest of the group. One of the exterminators walked up to us.
“What’s happening?” she asked.
“There is some kind of super mutant up ahead, we need to find a new route,” the leader whispered back.
“Well where are we going?” I interjected, “all the shelters have been taken out.”
“Before we found you, we sent out a distress signal in hopes anyone will come for us,” The leader responded, “We never got a response so we focused on trying to find a way out.”
“Do any of you have a map so you know where you’re going?” I Inquired
“No, unfortunately. Our pads ran out of power half a claw ago and we don’t have any physical copies, so we don’t know which streets to follow” The leader replied solemnly.
“I lived here for years, so I might be able to help you escape. Just follow me.”
I stepped out from around the corner only to see that the same monster from earlier was now towering over me. I slowly turned my gaze up from its bare stomach and looked at its blood covered face: it bared its large, razor sharp teeth as it stared at me with its circular pupils. I could tell one thing by just looking that it wanted only one thing, to feast.
My heart jumped upon locking eyes with it. I slowly backed away as my whole body trembled with fear. I tried to speak to tell the others, but I was too focused on the beast before me.
“Tarlim? What’s wr-” he cut off, most likely from seeing the creature now stepping out from behind the corner…
Everyone else began backing away after laying their eyes on this thing. Everyone was silent for a few moments until one of the exterminators began running and screaming. When the spell broke, the monster leaned forward and roared at us, causing nearby rocks and windows to tremble from its immense volume. Within a split second, it charged forward with its size hiding its speed; we dove out of the way as it rushed towards the running exterminator. The leader and Mute grabbed their weapons and tried to shoot at the monster, but it wasn’t enough to slow it down. Charging forward at an impossible speed, it soon reached the fleeing exterminator and grabbed the screaming Venlil with its massive paw. With a sickening crunch, it bit down and tore off a chunk of his head. The screams soon turned into senseless noises before it took another bite. His body soon went limp after his brain was completely destroyed. Once he was finally dead, the beast quickly chewed through the rest of the body until there was nothing left. The mutant stood still for a moment, its wet panting the only sound on the empty street. We all stood still ourselves, staring at the monster in horror. Then, swiveling around on its foot, it turned to look at us. Its red pupils glistened with overwhelming bloodlust as it stared from afar. It reared its head back and roared again before charging at us. The rest of our herd showered the creature in a hail of bullets as I frantically looked around for a way out. Spotting an industrial plant down the street, I quickly ran towards it and pried the doors open. The heavy machinery would make it harder for the beast to maneuver, I hoped.
“Quick in here!” I shouted towards the others.
As soon as I shouted, I inadvertently got the creature’s attention. Locking its red pupils on me, it charged towards me. I ran away for dear life into the facility only to feel its paws grab my leg with its vice-like grip. Before I could even attempt to free myself, it threw me across the street like I was nothing. I spun in the air for a few seconds until I landed on top of one of the turned over cars.
Upon impact, I felt some of my ribs break as both glass and torn metal stabbed into my skin. I lifted one of my bloodied arms and saw multiple pieces of glass sticking out of my wool with some of them big enough to go through the bone. I tried to scream out to the others for help, but the pain I felt from just breathing alone was already too much to bear. I looked over at them as they began running away from the scene. I saw the beast get down on all fours before pouncing towards the group with great speed. Despite their distance apart, it was able to close that gap in less than a second. One by one, it killed and tore them asunder with its large, powerful claws and razor sharp teeth until there were only the mute and leader left.
I managed to fight through the pain and get up from the wreckage with blood still dripping from my wounds and flowing down my body. I took a deep breath and shouted as loud as I could in their direction. It stopped what it was doing and looked towards me from afar. It stood on its hind legs and looked at me with a somewhat surprised expression.
“HEY! OVER-” I was quickly cut off from coughing up blood as I fell to my hands and knees, “over here!”
The internal damage done was too severe for me to push myself any further than I already have, but I needed to give the others time to leave. I got myself back up and locked eyes with the mutant.
Right when I did that, it did something strange: rather than run, pounce, or even roar, it quietly walked up to me with its blood covered claws at its side. I was confused about what was happening and I didn’t know how to react. Should I attack, should I run, what could I do that wouldn’t provoke it? Once it was within range, I reacted impulsively and hit it in the face with my wrench. Although I was able to cause a slight bruise, its head didn’t move an inch and the wrench was now destroyed.
‘Oh speh’ I thought for a moment before getting grabbed by my neck and lifted into the air.
I struggled to set myself free as I repeatedly bashed the deformed wrench into its arm. I could feel my windpipe get actively crushed as it slowly tightened its grip. I eventually dropped the wrench and started doing whatever else I could to set myself free: I kicked, clawed, and hit the beast as hard as I could, but to no avail. As I reached the edge of passing out, I heard a voice.
“Tarlim, look at me,” it said calmly with a deep, raspy voice.
I looked around for a moment before hearing it again, but this time it was in front of me.
“I want you to look at me, Tarlim,” it said once again.
I soon realized where it was coming from and who was saying it once I looked at the mutated Venlil. It was that creature who was speaking.
“You did everything you could to try and get out alive, but you failed,” he said serenely “Now you’ll die knowing everyone you ever knew and cared about is gone.”
My eyes widened when it spoke. I tried to respond, but I wasn’t able to say a single word.
“I had fun chasing you and those exterminators, Tarlim, but now it's time to move on.”
Its mouth opened wide, revealing rows of razor sharp teeth layered on top of eachother. My vision was fading rapidly, and my body went limp as I accepted my fate. Just before I completely lost consciousness, I heard the faint roar of a ship's cannon and the crushing force around my neck vanished. I felt like I was sinking through an ocean as I fell to the ground, dull spikes of pain ripping through my shattered body. I tried to look up to see what had happened, but everything was too heavy, too dark
I just
Wanted
To
S l e 3 ppe..4!u
[Subject consciousness lost Memory transcription ended]

It was a long trip. This is a long post. Apologies in advance.
HIGHLIGHTS (Days 1-14 of 28) KYOTO--Kiyomizu temple; Nanzenji temple; Nijo Castle; Sanjusangendo temple; Shugakuin Imperial Villa; Kinkakuji (Golden Pavilion); Fushimi Inari shrine; 184th Kamogawa-Odori geisha show HIMEJI-The castle and garden. NARA-Todaiji temple UJI-Byodoin temple IZU KOGEN--Jogasaki Coast nature trail
TOKYO, Monday 5/8
We arrived mid-afternoon at Tokyo/Haneda, right after Golden Week ended. It turned out to be, coincidentally, the day when the Japanese government officially downgraded the Covid pandemic to the level of a seasonal flu.
Fresh off a 13-hour flight and experiencing Japan for the first time, we went from touchdown to hotel check-in in something like 90 minutes, braving an almost-rush-hour crush on the Keikyu Line train from the Terminal 3 station.
Experience has taught us that meticulously planning every step of arrival in a new country is crucial to avoiding confusion, getting lost or simply wasting time.
Pre-loaded Suica cards on our smartphones led us straight to the train without standing in any lines.
We' chose the Shinagawa Station area of central Tokyo to spare our jetlagged selves another leg of indeterminate length--four or five hours at least--to reach our Kyoto base. Shinagawa is a straight shot--no transfers--from Haneda and a great place to catch a bullet train.
It was a geezer move that gave us plenty of time to familiarize ourselves with the layout and operation of one of Japan's busiest train stations.
Before crashing for the night, we'd taken care of some business by getting cash from an ATM and picking up reserved seat tickets for a post-Kyoto leg. We used a JR Railway ticket machine to print out the tickets, using QR codes emailed to us the previous month when we bought the tickets online directly from JR-East railway (we avoided costly middlemen in all our travel and entertainment purchases, something that requires planning but is easily doable from abroad). Like all our electronic machine transactions in Japan, there was an English language option on the touch-screen.
A machine also checked us in at the Prince Hotel Shinagawa, part of a modern high-rise development, chosen mainly for convenience. It's a one-block walk from the train station and was perfect for a couple jet-lagged Japan newbies. What we got, for the princely sum of $116 USD, was a spacious (by Japan standards) room on the 34th floor with a dead-on view of Tokyo Tower. Dinner was carryout sushi from the Queen's Isetan department store on the opposite side of the station, plus beer and sake from a convenience store, all consumed in the hotel room with Tokyo's skyline at our feet.
KYOTO , Tuesday 5/9
On the advice of an old Japan hand, we made Kyoto our base for the first two weeks. It worked well. We explored a fabulous city, took three day trips (Himeji/Osaka; Nara; Uji) and left town wishing we'd had time for more.
We expected our first full day to be a blur, due to jetlag, but it wasn't too bad. Following advice from this sub for first-time shinkansen travelers, we got to the station an hour early.
We bought far enough in advance on the Smart EX app to get a slight discount. We booked back row seats on the right-hand side for easy luggage storage but discovered that both our bags (including my larger one, which measures 142 cm [L+H+W]) also fit on the overhead rack. We never had luggage problems on trains during our trip.
Our train to Kyoto had great Fuji views, our first. After depositing the bags in a Kyoto station storage locker (rented with the smartphone Suica card), we made our first sightseeing stop: Toji Temple, a quick subway ride and walk away.
About picking hotels
We used triangulation to pick hotels; that is, cross-checking information from various sources to give us the best possible chance of getting a good place at a decent price. Sources included a handful of guidebooks from the public library, Trip Advisor and this sub.
Solaria Nishitetsu Hotel Kyoto Premier ($221 USD per night with massive breakfast buffet, best of the trip) turned out to be a great base. We paid extra for a room facing the Kamo River, a popular gathering spot for locals, tourists and joggers. We benefited from early booking (more than six months in advance, shortly after Japan began opening up). Inflation and other factors have since raised the price of the same room by about 10 percent.
The newish (opened in 2017) hotel attracts mainly Japanese/Asian travelers who, like me, enjoyed the onsen in the basement. We also put the coin-operated washedryers to good use.
KYOTO, Wednesday 5/10
Up and out, thanks to jetlag, shortly after 5 a.m., walking deserted streets to the foot of magical Kiyomizu temple, arriving just as it opened at 6 a.m. We were back at the hotel for breakfast by 8, after walking down the picturesque, cobbled streets of Sannenzaka, shops still closed, with more tourists starting to trickle in.
About choosing sightseeing spots
I'm a sucker for ratings, assuming they're done well. So, guidebook must-sees, like DK Eyewitness's or Lonely Planet's, star ratings in the Michelin Green Guide to Japan or in the downloaded Gateway to Japan guide (a steal at $10 and in your pocket for free on Kindle app) and, finally, Japan Guide's recommendations helped guide our steps.
That's how we ended up spending the afternoon at Nanzenji, a must-see Zen temple, which, like Kiyomizu, is laid out at the foot of the mountains east of town.
Lunch this day was at Junsei, a yudofo (boiled tofu) restaurant we stumbled onto near the temple. We used wooden sticks to skim the surface of an iron vat filled with simmering soy milk, that was set before us over a gas flame.
About finding restaurants
If you've never been to Japan but lurk on this sub, you've already heard that it's practically impossible to get a bad meal. We booked a handful of places before leaving home but agree with others that you rarely need to do that to eat well. If you're determined to hit a place that's highly popular, often with deep-pocketed foreign tourists, reservations may be required.
We're foodies, up to a point, but Japan's profusion of starred Michelin restaurants was wasted on us. We've learned over the years that we seldom enjoy paying the inflated cost. Over four weeks, we ate once at a Michelin one-star, chosen for other reasons.
That said, Michelin's Bib Gourmands (good, affordable restaurants) never disappointed us. They are plentiful in Japan, especially in Kyoto and Tokyo, and worth seeking out. Most of the time, though, we picked places to eat by cross-checking Google (asking for "soba noodles" near me, for example) and Tabelog, the indispensible crowd-sourced Japanese website (we looked for places in the 3.5 range).
Non-speakers of Japanese can have a hard time making reservations. We found that we could make them in advance from abroad through services like TableCheck (and an apparently expanding number of others aimed at tourists, usually charging a fee; sometimes small, sometimes steep). On the ground in Japan, we sometimes reserved for free through Google and Tabelog (at random places which you can find on Google or Tabelog restaurant listings); they were always honored. We also asked hotel reception desks for reservation help on occasion. We went to a couple restaurants in person and booked a table for later. But the easiest and often best way to get in is simply to arrive on the early side for lunch (by 11:30 or so) or dinner (between 5 and 5:30). More than once, we walked right into a place and were seated, only to discover lots of people waiting in line outside when we left. That said, if you're looking for an above-average meal on a Saturday night, especially in a popular location, you might want to book in advance.
Konbinis (convenience stores) are cheap, good and extremely reliable sources of takeout. And though we liked what we got there (mainly onigiri), we wound up relying on them less and less as the trip went along. The same was true of department store basements, which lived up to their reputation as fantastic food sources, for locals and tourists alike. We learned that we could often eat for the same amount or less in restaurants geared to locals or foreigners on limited budgets, rather than chowing down in our hotel room.
KYOTO, Thursday 5/11
We hit Nijo Castle in the morning and Sento Imperial Palace, one of several attractions we reserved in advance through the Imperial Household Agency. All were well worth it (and free of charge). The agency website explains the rules, which vary somewhat from site to site. We also toured Kyoto Imperial Palace.
About navigation
Just as the Google Translate app (and similar devices) have broken down language barriers, several travel apps have vastly simplified the business of getting around. Google Maps was our basic navigational tool and it rarely failed us. Another app that helped work in concert with Google Maps was Navitime's Japan Travel guide. Both provide alternate routes, detailed information on trains and stations and much more. Sometimes, when we popped out of subway station, we'd check the compass app on the smartphone to make sure we were heading off in the right direction. It doesn't hurt that public transit throughout the country increasingly uses English or romaji to translate Japanese. Over four weeks, we only found one place where we had trouble deciphering the destination signs on buses (oddly enough, in Himeji, a tourist magnet).
KYOTO, Friday, 5/12
A busy day started at Katsura Imperial Villa. Like other Imperial Household venues, a guided tour (in Japanese, but with free English audio guide) is the only way to see the place and its beautiful gardens.
We also caught a kabuki for beginners show at sumptuous Minamiza Theatre--tickets purchased online in advance--after briefly stopping by bustling Yasaka-jinja shrine down the street.
Dinner was our priciest splurge: Itoh, a serene, traditional style steak house in the atmospheric Gion neighborhood. We hadn't initially planned on eating Kobe beef, since we've pretty much given up beef in our everyday lives, but we were persuaded by a family member who correctly posed the question: If not now, when? Worth the steep tab ($264), not least because our table overlooked the tiny Shirakawa canal, the service was great and now we can say we know what Kobe beef is all about. Like buttah.
KYOTO, Saturday 5/13
We were at Sanjusangendo when it opened and glad we'd gone. The display of 500 life-size, gilded 1000-armed kannon in Japan's longest wooden structure was unforgettable.
We're museum people--either you are or you ain't--and the special exhibition at Kyoto National Museum on the 850th anniversary of the founder of Shin Buddhism was well worth it. Unfortunately, like most Japanese museums, photos were prohibited inside. In this regard, technically advanced Japan lags much of the civilized world; even Old Europe has greatly loosened such restrictions in recent years. Smartphone cameras can be a nuisance to other visitors, but they are a quick and easy way of capturing what you've seen and preserving it for later study.
Lunch was at Vegan Ramen Uzu Kyoto, a Bib Gourmand and the weirdest place we ate. Expanded availability of vegetarian ramen is a promising, healthier trend, and we enjoyed it at several places in Tokyo and Kyoto. A TableCheck reservation, made well in advance, got us seats at this cutting-edge spot. Dining is at a polished black surface in a darkened room bathed by the illumination of a giant, swirling teamLab artwork. Pricey but good.
KYOTO, Sunday 5/14
We're horseplayers and enjoyed a day at recently reopened Kyoto Racecourse, capacity 120,000. Betting is easy; just stop by the information desk for instructions in English.
Dinner at Tiger Gyoza Hall was lively, inexpensive and delicious. It was the only restaurant on our trip that we visited twice; reservable on Google.
KYOTO, Monday 5/15
No place put us through more hoops than Kokedera, better known at Moss Temple. It was well worth the difficulty of getting a needed reservation; if you do it by mail from abroad--the least expensive way to go--you need a couple months head start (and an International Reply Coupon, which you have to buy online from the Swiss Postal System). We got there and back via city buses. Along the way we crossed Togetsukyo Bridge in the very congested tourist hotbed of Arashiyama. It didn't make us regret our decision to skip the area.
Afterward we visited Ninnaji temple. Ryoanji temple and its famous rock garden (where noisy fellow tourists made a Zen experience impossible) and Kinkakuji, the incredible Golden Pavilion. The place was jammed but crowd control is excellent and we're glad we made it.
KYOTO, Tuesday 5/16
Shugakuin Imperial Villa, a vast imperial property of gardens and buildings (which you cannot enter) on the northeastern outskirts, was our favorite Imperial Household Agency site. We felt fortunate to get advance tickets through their lottery but saw that same-day tickets were also available there and at other Agency sites; it would be a long way to go, however, if all tickets were gone on the day you wanted to enter. Since we made a conscious decision to visit Japan after the cherry blossom and Golden Week crowds were gone, we have no idea what things are like during busier times.
We strolled the Philosopher's Path after lunch. Perhaps if it had been a quiet early or cherry blossom time, we might have been blown away. Instead, it was a rare disappointment. It struck us as a very conventional touristy trail; nothing special at all.
On the other hand, Ginkakuji (Silver Pavilion), near one end of the path, lived up to the hype. We capped the day by off by catching the procession of Aoi Matsuri, or Hollyhock Festival, one of Kyoto's three big annual festivals. The parade of hundreds of elaborately costumed people, some on horseback, highlighted by a pair of ox-drawn carts, was a hoot. What surprised us was the absence of music or any sort of percussion.
HIMEJI and OSAKA, Wednesday 5/17
A shinkansen whisked us to Himeji for a tour of the incomparable castle and impressive gardens. We took advantage of the unique Himeji Castle English Speaking Guide service, which generously provides personal tours with an area resident, in English, at no cost (book online in advance).
Lunch was at Mentetsu, a very good ramen shop at a mall located between the train station and the castle. Recommended.
We finished the excursion at Osaka's famous, crazy Dotonburi neighborhood, a cross between Times Square and Disney. Dinner was our first okonomiyaki, deliciously prepared at Okonomiyaki Mizuno (a Bib Gourmand). We're allergic to standing in line---life is too short--and we never waited more than 30 minutes for a table on our trip. They took our order at Mizuno while we were in line, and it was prepared before our countertop seats shortly after we got in. Oishī!
UJI, Thursday 5/18
Uji is renowned for its tea and Byodoin temple, best known for its elegant phoenix hall, which is pictured on the back of the 10 Yen coin. It was a great day trip, including lunch at a traditional local soba shop that served cold noodles sobayu style; you pour hot soba stock--the cloudy water the noodles were boiled in--into what's left of your soy-based dipping sauce and drink the (supposedly) healthy brew. Definitely the way to go. Mampukuji, a Zen temple, was a worthwhile stop before we caught a train back to Kyoto.
NARA, Friday 5/19
Our first day of heavy rain failed to dampen the visit to one of the best places on our trip. The town, a tourist favorite because, or in spite of, the overpopulation of overly friendly deer, is well-described elsewhere. We toured Todai-ji, with its giant Bronze Buddha, had lunch at the cute and delicious Pizzeria Trattoria Magazzino (Bib Gourmand) and checked out Kohfukuji temple, too.
KYOTO, Saturday 5/20
Fushimi Inari shrine, on almost every Kyoto must-see list, lives up to its reputation. We followed good advice from this sub and arrived early, a few minutes before 8 a.m. Already, crowds were building. We detoured from the main path through thousands of torii gates and wandered instead up an almost totally deserted sylvan trail on the south side of Mt. Inari, past bamboo groves, a few minor shrines and some houses. After about 45 minutes, we reached a set of stone stairs to the summit. From the top, we took the main path down, dodging the stream of fellow tourists as best we could and gaping at the gates and the view from the halfway point. We highly recommend this alternative way of seeing the best of two Fushimi Inari worlds.
We celebrated our last full day in Kyoto, and our 40th wedding anniversary, with a memorable kaiseki lunch at Hana Kitcho, a Michelin one-star booked weeks in advance from home. The beautifully decorated private room, attentive service, imaginative presentation, museum-quality stoneware and delicious food were certainly up to one-star standards.
The minute that advance online tickets went on sale for the 184th Kamogawa Odori, I jumped on them. The tourist-oriented geisha dance performance is held in May at a theater that overlooks the Kamo River. We were lucky to have been given seats in the front row and when one of the geishas tossed a white cloth package in my direction I snatched it. I now have an unexpected souvenir, a cloth banner autographed by the geisha herself. The fantastic show will remain in memory.
IZU KOGEN, Sunday 5/21
We left Kyoto for the Izu Peninsula and what turned out to be the best single night of our trip. Hanafubuki, a modern ryokan I learned about on this sub, was everything we could have wanted. It features 9 private outdoor onsens on beautifully landscaped property and elegant guest rooms with fluffy futons for sleeping on tatami mats. The ten-course dinner was exquisite. Breakfast, a seven-course feast that featured whole grilled horse mackerel and golden-eye sea bream, was simply amazing.
IZU KOGEN, Monday 5/22
A short walk from the ryokan is the scenic Jogasaki Coast nature trail, a rugged stretch of rocks and pounding surf. A guy I met there who introduced himself as Zeus, a Japanese native currently living in California and in town to visit his parents, compared the coastline to Monterey Bay. We could have used another night to allow us to explore the trail at greater length.
Lunch was at a great local restaurant, walking distance from the train station, Honke Maguroya, featuring local fish and top-grade tuna. The wasabi rhizome, which you grate yourself, is a tipoff to the quality of the sushi, but the prices are extremely reasonable. Recommended.
From there we headed back to Tokyo and the remainder of our trip. Highlights and a full (too full?) final report coming soon.

Hi everyone! This sub was so incredibly helpful to me in the planning process - I was deeply grateful for everything I learned, so I thought I'd post a trip report now that we're back!
About us: We're a 30s couple from the Midwest US. We're pretty experienced travelers (South America, UK/Ireland, Europe, lots of places in the US), but this was our first visit to Asia and first visit to Japan. As travelers, we love getting out on foot, local food/drink (especially street food), live music, nerd shit, weird art/vending machines. Also, my partner is a cis guy, but I am a trans masc person who is visibly trans (post-op in a few ways, but not passing/not stealth).
Dates: May 13 - May 29
What we did: Tokyo Kyoto Osaka Hakone Back to Tokyo
Tips and tricks:

• Definitely get your walking training in ahead of time! We walked 10 miles a day on the trip. We're pretty avid backcountry camping/hiking fans who regularly put in 8 - 10 miles on the trail (not to mention taking our dog for multiple walks a day in the neighborhood), so I figured we'd be good - but it was A LOT, especially since you're also trying to translate and navigate at the same time. Japan is not generally a super accessible place from a disability perspective; benches and public seating areas are not common. I found myself wishing I'd packed a collapsible seat of some kind, tbh!
• Good shoes a must! Merrell Moabs are my go-to for hiking, but for this trip I went with Nike Dunk 6 high-tops, which rocked. My partner went with Onitsukas and didn't do as well - he wound up buying inserts partway through the trip, which helped.
• Work on a little Japanese ahead of time! We came in with about a dozen words/phrases, which was honestly truly helpful. So many people are so kind and thoughtful anyway, but it was an appreciated gesture that we had planned ahead and were trying our best. Google Translate's camera feature (Google Lens) was a life-saver for translating written words on signs!
• We had a great experience with Ubigi for an eSIM. The days of purchasing an actual SIM card or even a burner device (like we used to do when backpacking in Europe) are long past. We hooked up our Ubigi eSIMs beforehand, flipped the switch when we got there, and we were golden. Just in case, we'd set up our Verizon coverage to include a Pay-As-You-Go international plan, but we didn't end up using it. We also didn't use half as much data as we thought we would - we both came home with extra GB on our Ubigi plan still. We didn't do a PocketWifi and I don't think we needed it - Ubigi did most of the heavy lifting, and free WiFi at various places did the rest.
• Fly into Haneda, not Narita - way closer to Tokyo city center.
• Get your Suica right away at the airport - our beloved Suica got us through so many things! We also withdrew some cash and split it up between us - we withdrew a few more times on the trip and it worked like a charm. (Just make sure it's an international ATM that includes your card type - not all of them do. Also, notify your bank you'll be traveling, so your card doesn't throw a flag!) We used our credit card as well - the Chase card was accepted pretty much all places CCs are, but many places remain cash-only, especially bars and restaurants.
• Had a great experience using the Friendly Limousine Airport Bus service straight from Haneda to our hotel area.
• I booked shinkansen tix ahead of time, so I got nice discounts on weekday Green Car tix for two - but I really needn't have worried, there were plenty of seats available day-of.
• Don't bother with shinkansen for Kyoto to Osaka - we wound up just hopping on a local with our Suicas and it was fine.
• Don't bother with the Romancecar from Hakone back to Tokyo - it's fastemaybe a nicer seating experience, but just hopping on a local with your Suica is an order of magnitude cheaper.
• Look things up in Japanese if using Google Translate; use Tabelog for restaurants if possible. Google Maps in English is more touristy reviews/reactions.
• Tokyo Skytree was hit-or-miss - only real letdown of the trip.
• Tokyo teamLab PLANETS was completely worth it - absolutely worth the hype in my opinion.
• Queer and trans travelers - I felt completely safe, but as a plus-size trans masc nonbinary queerdo, I stuck out like a sore thumb. I didn't feel in danger, but I was absolutely aware that I did not fit in. Stares were common, especially from older men and young kids. (Weirdly, local women seemed more friendly and curious about me!) Just be prepared for it and remember you're not in any danger physically - it's all just curiosity.
• I have to thank this subreddit for recommending Hakone, especially for the tip to book a ryokan with private onsen access. We had an absolutely beautiful experience at Yamanochaya in Hakone, which included both a private "onsen" soaking tub in our room and private 1:1 access to a larger, actual hot spring onsen on the property. I otherwise would not have been able to experience a real hot spring onsen at all, as they are gender-segregated. Thank you, /JapanTravel!

Because I'm a nerd, here's the actual breakdown!
DAY 1 ARRIVAL 📍 Flew into Haneda; made it to our hotel (lovely experience at Hotel Plaza Sunroute); had our first world-famous konbini 7/11 experience; walked around Shinjuku; went out for dinner at Ryu no Miyako Inshokugai - talk about jumping in the deep end 🍣 Onigiri and vending machine green tea; little whipped cream treats; Nagahama ramen and sesame mackerel donburi 👣 10,400 steps 🏁 4.8 miles
DAY 2 SHIBUYA 📍 Meiji Shrine and Gardens - got goshuin and omamori; Harajuku, went to 7/11; back to the hotel for a nap; Shibuya, including Don Quijote, Center Gai and Dogenzaka Street; Nonbei Yokocho for late night 🍣 7/11 (plum onigiri and corn/mayo sandwich, some kind of spam musubi situation, matcha roll); Ichiran coin-op ramen with extra chashu and a matcha tofu custard thing; banana shock smoothie at Shibuya109 in Center Gai; chicken and pork belly yakitori with beers at Morimoto; brown sugar shoju and shoju-infused Oolong tea cocktails at Tight Bar (strong recommend for this joint!); grilled squid, octopus, and okonomiyaki for afters at Tsukishima Monja Kuuya Shibuya 👣 32,000 steps 🏁 14.5 miles 😮‍💨
DAY 3 SHINJUKU 📍 Shinjuku Gyoen National Garden; Shinjuku area (including Disk Union, Disney, Onitsuka); Kabukicho and Kabukicho Tower; GODZ metal bar; Golden Gai; Omoide Yokocho 🍣 7/11 (onigiri, matcha filled roll thing, royal milk tea, tomago sushi, strawberry donut, cafe latte); many types of dango (sesame oil, soy sauce, and apricot mochi were our favs); McDonald's (weirdly good chicken sandwich with yuzu radish topping, vanilla custard chocolate pie, white grape soda); yummy little warm imagawayaki filled with adzuki bean paste + royal milk from depachika); a couple of Asahis at GODZ; simple yakitori snacks at Golden Gai (including some… mystery offal items); back to 7/11 for drunk matcha ice cream and waffle snacks 👣 28,800 steps 🏁 13.0 miles
DAY 4 ASAKUSA 📍 Went out for coffee; walked around Kinarimon Gate and Nakamise; toured Asakusa Shrine, Senso-ji Temple, surrounding Shinto and Buddhist shrines; stopped for sushi and mochi; went for a walk up Sumida River; dipped into Shoden and Imado shrines; crossed Kototoi Bridge to Tokyo Skytree; went up Tokyo Skytree; back to Senso-ji for night photos; capped off evening with gyoza 🍣 Lattes at cute puppet theater coffeeshop (espresso, dandelion tea); 7/11 for breakfast-y fuel; strawberries from a street stall at Nakamise; sushi lunch; beautiful mochi + tea dessert; grilled gyoza, soup dumpling gyoza, shoujo Oolong tea cocktail for afters 👣 25,500 steps 🏁 11.66 miles
DAY 5 JIMBŌCHŌ, AKIHABARA 📍 Train to Ichigaya - notable French-inspired neighborhood; breakfast at local French café; Yasakuni Shrine; Kanda River walk by Hosei University; Tokyo Daijingu Shrine; Jimbōchō Old Book Town; walked from there to Akihibara; hit up noodles, arcade, nerd shops (comics, TCGs/CCGs, retro video games systems, TTRPGS, etc); gachapons; hit up the bizarre rare vending machines 🍣 Vending machine coffee and milk tea; yummy French pastries (bacon and sour cream roll, quiche, sour cream raisin custard thing); had to try some avocado and cheese Doritos; cold udon with duck broth soup, curry rice for Chris; fish-shaped taiyaki with custard cream dessert treat; dope gyoza place ("weekday" version with pork and cabbage, shrimp and chili mayo, yakitori with tare, and shogayaki with onions) 👣 Forgot watch at hotel - we’ll say 10,000 steps 🏁 Guessing about 5 or 6?
DAY 6 TEAMLAB PLANETS, TRAVEL TO KYOTO 📍 Hit up teamLabs, had an amazing time exploring the exhibits - the infinite light crystal room was our fav; train to Tokyo Station; lunch at underground Ramen Street restaurants under the station - went with Soranoiro, one of the few veg/vegan ramen shops in Japan - delicious; shinkansen to Kyoto; out for nightlife in Kiyamachi-Dori and Pontocho 🍣 Quick 7/11 snacks; train snacks (pocky, coffee, little teriyaki cutlet sandwich); Soranoiro ramen bowls; killer yakitori we fried right at our table in izakaya in Pontocho (honestly probably a meal highlight of the whole trip); brown sugar shoujo; 7/11 for ice cream on the way back 👣 18,900 steps 🏁 8.63 miles
DAY 7 KINKAKUJI, NISHIKI, GION 📍 Kinkakuji Temple; bus back to Kiyamachi-dori; spent whole afternoon walking and eating street food at Nishiki Market; back to hotel for rest, laundry, rooftop drink; out for nightlife in Gion 🍣 Family Mart for coffee and doughnuts; Nishiki Market Street street food delights - seared yakitori style crab stick, little octopus chuka idako on skewers, kara-age on skewers, sea squid croquettes and beer, strawberry and adzuki bean mochi balls; mimosas and red wine; Kyoto Gion Okaru - geisha-decorated izakaya with insane curry udon bowls and beers; picked up box of mochi dango for dessert 👣 20,200 steps 🏁 9.07 miles
DAY 8 SHRINE DAY 📍 OK, this is a lot:

• Yasakajinja (we happened to be here while a young couple was having a Shinto wedding ceremony!)
• Yasui Kompira-gū (built 1170, shrine for ending bad relationships and starting new ones, has special stone that you pin your wishes to - many young girls will crawl through the stone to mark a breakup or wish for love)
• Kennin-ji (built 1202, large grounds - among the oldest in Kyoto);
• Reigen-in (part of Kennin-ji grounds, a Zen teahouse with a tea garden where they served adzuki bean buns with tea made from the actual hydrangeas of the tea garden outside!)
• Zenkyoan (boar shrine which we initially thought were cute hedgehogs)
• Kyoto Ebisu Shrine (dedicated to fishermen - we happened to be here during the shrine's annual mikoshi festival - a battalion of locals in traditional clothes, hoisting and dancing with the mikoshi around the neighborhood)
• Kodai-ji (built 1606, gorgeous grounds - we skipped the tour)
• Hōkan-ji/Yasaka Pagoda (dating back to 589 and rebuilt in 1400s, huge black 5-story pagoda featuring massive shakyamuni pole inside and reliquary of a bone of the Buddha in the foundations)
• Ryōzen Kannon (built 1955 after WW2, massive Buddha statue and active Buddhist temple)
• Of course the world-famous Kiyomizudera (built 778, enormous Kyoto-red temple with beautiful buildings spiraling up into the forest)

🍣 Hotel coffee, tea, cream puffs; adzuki bean buns with tea made from the actual hydrangeas of the tea garden at the shrine; dope bento box lunch; got takeout fast food donburi and fizzy lemonade 👣 22,800 steps 🏁 10.39 miles
DAY 9 FUSHIMI-INARI 📍 Fushimi Inari, the famous shrine of over 1,000 torii gates - super amazing (and intense!) summit of Mt Inari! Back to Nishiki Market for reward street food and drinks; back to hotel for a rooftop drink and soak; finally out for soba at Kawamichiya Ginka in Pontocho. 🍣 Snack pack on our hike (sausages, cheese, some kind of fish meat/cheese stick, and surume - sweet chewy dried squid stuff); orange smoothie; conveyor belt sushi; strawberry mochi roll; whisky highball and red wine; massive soba spreads (chicken seared with wasabi/yuzu/horseradish dipped in ponzu sauce, fried soba noodles in a rich soup, cold soba noodles dipped tsukemen-style in a really amazing umami soy sauce soup, tempura shrimp and veggies, a hot soba noodles in a clear broth soup) 👣 27,600 steps 🏁 Supposedly 12.3 miles, but that hike to summit Mt Inari was something else 😤
DAY 10 TRAVEL TO OSAKA, SHINSABASHISUJI, AMEMURA, DOTONBURI 📍 Beautiful brunch on the bank of the canal in Kyoto; local train to Osaka-Umeda; checked into Osaka hotel; walked around Shinsaibashisuji and Dotonburi a little bit; scoped out Amemura ("Ameri-mura") for dope American-inspired Japanese streetwear; wandered up and down street food stalls in Dotonbori; swung by Namba Hips (mostly pachinko); found a couple of fun little hole-in-the-wall places (little Japanese craft beer brewery, retro video games bar) 🍣 Brunch at Kawa Cafe (croque monsieur, ramen, tea and delicious apple tart); takoyaki, cheesy waffle shaped like a massive 10yen coin, sweet chili hotdogs from stands in Dotonbori; dashi gose craft beer (by Derailleur Brew Works) from Umineko, shots at Space Station bar 👣 19,500 steps 🏁 9.01 miles
DAY 11 NAMBAYASAKIJINA, DOTONBURI 📍 Morning Japanese breakfast at a wonderful little 24-hour diner; Hozen-ji (moss shrine); Kamigata Ukiyo-e Museum across the street (focusing on Osaka woodcuts celebrating Dotonburi's kabuki and entertainment history); Nambayasaka-jinja (lion head shrine); Den Den Town (Osaka's Akihabara); ended up at a cozy little kushikatsu bar which actually was playing the Tigers game (away game vs the Swallows at Tokyo); street food waffles for dessert; hit up a late-night batting cage - ended up at Round1 (a big multi-floor arcade complex) and did the rooftop batting cage! My partner won a giant plushie for me from a claw machine! 🍣 Dope traditional japanese omelette and fish breakfast; cute macarons from market stand; Family Mart for snacks before nightlife; skewers, beer, and highballs from Dotonbori kushikatsu place; ridiculous nutella, whip, and strawberry stuffed waffle from Waffle Khan 👣 29,100 steps 🏁 13.31 miles
DAY 12 KUROMON ICHIBA, OSAKA CASTLE, DOTONBURI 📍 Kuromon Ichiba Market for street food; Osaka Castle Park and Nishinomaru Gardens; toured Osaka Castle and museum all the way up to the top; subway to Tanimachi-9-chome subway station for amazing live jazz at Sub Jazz Cafe. (This was amazing! Akira "Ro" Hasegawa (sax) and Yukie Fujikawa (keys) - Ro is also the owner and was bartending on this particular night too.) Out to Don Don for killer yakiniku and beer; found our way to Oboradaren, an Tokunoshima-themed island vibes bar and music spot where there was a great live band playing fun island vibes beach rock - big crowd of 40s+ Japanese women who knew all the songs, wound up drinking passionfruit chuhai and joining them in the conga line around the bar 🍣 Oden hot pot, wagyu skewer, otoro sashimi, crab gratin in the half-shell, bracken green tea soy cakes at Kuromon Market; ice cream sandwiches at Osaka Castle; milk tea, little roast beef sandwich, and cheesecake at Sub Jazz Cafe; yakiniku-style wagyu, ribs, ox tongue, assorted mushrooms; passionfruit chuhai and red wine at the island vibes spot; taro and brown sugar boba teas 👣 23,000 steps 🏁 10.42 miles
DAY 13 KAIYUKAN, SHINSEKAI, DOTONBURI 📍 Fun trip to Osaka Aquarium Kaiyukan; quick pass through Shinsekai; lunch at spot where you can fish your own catch from an indoor fishing boat pool; out for one last Dotonburi night - wound up getting konbini snacks and sitting on the waterfront talking and people-watching for hours 🍣 Not a banger food-wise, but interesting little spread at the fish-your-own place - huge prawn for grilling, kara-age, and fatty tuna nigiri for Max, tempura veggies and whitefish with doteyaki for Chris; from Family Mart, fruit smoothie, ice cup, and KitKat for Max, onigiri and lemonade for Chris 👣 19,100 steps 🏁 8.64 miles
DAY 14 TRAVEL TO HAKONE, HAKONE SHRINE 📍 Bombed to Shin-Osaka for an early shinkansen to Odawara; trained to Odawara to Hakone; dropped luggage off at ryokan, then bus to Motohakone; saw Hakone Shrine and Onshi-Hakone Park (as well as a segment of the actual Old Tokaido!); returned to ryokan for the night, where we were treated to a gorgeous 1:1 kaiseki from a Michelin-star chef, private hot spring onsen, and private in-room hot spring bath 🍣 Konbini snacks before shinkansen; snacks and coffee on train; late lunch in Motohakone (curry and soba, pork cutlet); incredible, massive multi-course kaiseki and sake for dinner, plus strawberry cake, champagne, and more sake for dessert 👣 13,900 steps 🏁 6.26 miles
DAY 15 HAKONE OPEN AIR MUSEUM, TRAVEL TO TOKYO, LAST NIGHT IN SHINJUKU 📍 Woke up in gorgeous ryokan; leisurely kaiseki breakfast with leftover cake; final soak in the private onsen; Hakone Open Air Museum - very cool; had kind of a challenging trip back but finally made it from Museum back to ryokan to bus stop to Hakone-Yumoto to Odawara to Shinjuku to the hotel 😮‍💨 Considering the last night as our real "last night" of the trip, our final night out in Tokyo was all just extra icing on the cake - went out for yakitori skewers and Asahi Superdrys in cozy alley in Omoide Yokocho, found really wonderful cake and tea dessert open late also in Omoide, hit up 🎵 Donki! 🎵 for a final round of bulk snacks and souvenirs, ended up on a late-night excursion to find Park Hyatt Hotel (featured in Lost in Translation); finished night at hotel watching the city go to sleep from our balcony 👣 22,700 steps 🏁 10.3 miles
FINAL SCORE 📸 Pics: 1,929 👣 Steps: 337,700 🏁 Miles: 153.78 (we averaged 9.6 miles per day, every day, for 16 days) 🇯🇵 “Nihongo jōzu!”: 4 (I know more proficient Japanese speakers are insulted, but it's honestly a pretty nice comment when you're at my level) 👶 Comments on how young we look/how we can’t possibly be celebrating our 10-year wedding anniversary: 3 ✨ Gratitude: Infinite.

Hi y'all. If anyone has a 26' 22' penske truck right now, and a tape measure, I'd love to know the dimensions of the letters in the word "PENSKE" on the sides of the truck, and above the cab (if you can do that safely!).
For an art project --- I want to make a sign that's exactly the same size.
I'm not sure if the lettering is the same scale on a 16 foot truck, but I'd be happy for that info if someone can provide it.
edit -- fixed the truck size

Hey all. Working on the “modern-day” environment of one of my world-building projects, and I wanted to explore what a potential transit system could be for a city in this world with a lot of unique factors and problems.
The city is a very, very old settlement, the historic capital of a large and powerful state somewhat similar to Russia. It is in a cold environment, and in fact sits in the middle of a geothermal valley created by a super volcano caldera ala Yellowstone. If that sounds like a nightmare in the making, you’re probably right, but the ancient people who built the settlement weren’t thinking about that. Because of the nature of its location, I’m pretty sure there’d be a high water table, and there are also a couple of hot springs within the city limits that might add to its appeal, like the thermal pools in Budapest, but also hard to work around. The city also has a lot of heritage sites and protected places, old buildings and fortifications, ancient crypts, ect.
Taking the perspective of like an urban planner or something, what would be an effective transit system for a city like this? I was thinking an above ground rail might be best, since there’s problems digging underground, but I’m wondering if that would also be uneconomical as well as an eyesore. A bus service could work, but its not as efficient as rail I think. Any thoughts?
Was considering posting this on urbanplanning or transit, but since it has to do with a fictional location I figured this would be the best bet.

until i was sucked through my phone, i than woke up in a dark room i can only see a white neon bright orb so i decided to touch it than i woke up in a grassy plains biome surrounded by plateaus than i looked up to only see the knife guy flying?! the knife guy than floats down than rushes at me using 1 of his knife but thankfuly i dodged it, i than punched him in the guts than comboed him ending with a kick to the face knocking him into a plateau. the plateau exploded due to the knife guy's energy than he flew up and started charging an energy knife bomb! he took 40 minutes to charge it than he threw the charged energy knife bomb, the charged knife bomb is too big for me to dodge so i decided to make myself unstable thus making me not STABle for a few seconds but that few seconds wasnt long enough. i took a bit too much damage and i was barely standing. i notice that the knife guy started flying towards me with his hands out ready to punch me while he's flying so i decided to think of anime boobies to make me motivated allowing me to dodge than pick up the energy knife from the charged energy knife bomb throwing the knife at the knife guy doing some damage but than the knife guy said "its time to get serious heheheheheheh" he than started to fly upwards meanwhile spawning more knifes around him making a circle of knifes around him than he stopped flying upwards and started flexing. he than started throwing the knifes at me one by one to tire me but thankfuly i parried some of them using his own knifes but than i realize the fatal error i made, he started to control the knifes i was using to parry than he made them fly upwards making me unable to let go due to im scared of heights and how high i were. soon he stopped raising the knifes he than pointed them towards the ground than the knifes i was holding onto started going towards the ground at high speeds. i knew there isnt anything i could do... i cant..- than a yellow beam of light hit me, the beam of light is 10 feet long and reaches to the moon, i realized this is my energy allowing me to fly so i let go of the knifes allowing me to get rid of my fear of heights than i started flying towards the knife guy but the knife guy didnt like this so he started throwing beams of knifes towards me but thankfuly i dodged it, we kept repeating this 5 times until i reached the knife guy than i launched a energy beam at the knife guy making him unable to fly for 10 seconds due to the damage he wasnt expecting so i went behind him doing a nasty punch on his back than comboing some punches doing a sledge hammer to the ground knocking the knife guy to the ground than i teleported above him with my hand back than i launched myself towards him punching him with all my might but the knife guy had enough. he makes a tiny knife explosion around him forcing me to dodge than the knife guy starts screaming for 5 minutes, knife starts growing out of his hair, the knife guy spawns even more knifes, after 5 minute passes he than teleports behind me with insane speed stabbing me in the back paralyzing me, i than fell to the ground hoping to recover but i couldnt... i notice that the clouds were circling making a hole than i notice that in the hole of clouds it kept switching from day to night repeating that 50 times in under 5 minutes than i notice 20 lightning strikes which kept repeating faster and faster until a man showed up which healed me i thanked him than i did a kicked the knife guy's balls but since he made all of his hair knifes my foot got stabbed than the knife guy elbowed me knocking me into 5 plateaus but i launched a energy beam at him while i was getting flung dealing damage to the knife guy but it looked like it did nothing, the man that appeared said his name is bob, bob than launches an unexpected energy blast at the knife guy which did a little bit but not enough but than bob gets an idea, he tells me to give him 5 minutes and we might have a chance so i agreed. i chad walked to the knife guy than i started playing the wii with him giving us 3 minutes but than the knife guy realized that i was trying to stall so he punched me into 5 plateaus but thankfuly i dodged it so i only hit 4 and a half plateaus, i than started circling him while flying while shooting energy blastes at him than i launched a energy blast behind him but he turnt around really fast and did a sledge hammer attack knocking me to the ground but thankfuly its been 5 minutes than i notice by looking at the water a big blue energy ball, i pushed the knife man into the water than ran towards bob, bob than threw the energy ball at the knife man doing insane damage, there was only a couple pieces of islands left and the knife man no where to be seen, we than danced but than we realized that the knife man wasnt dead?! he than did a small energy beam at bob's heart which bob couldnt dodge killing bob, as bob is dying he said "d- d- do t- this for m- me i- if you d- dont do it... who WILL" than he died as he slowly turnt into ash than the wind slept the ash away... i started crying... i started raging, the water started to turn into waves and lightning started to appear the clouds started to go dark, my hair started to turn yellow than i let out a scream thus fully making my hair turn yellow. i notice something strange as if i was stronger... i punched the knife guy which sent him into 20 imaginary plateaus than i teleport behind him meanwhile he's getting flung backwards than i'd do a attack which sent him down than i'd grab him by his head than i put his head in the water for 2 minutes than i'd throw him in the air than launching a ki blast to his head while his mouth is still open than grabbing his head after that kneeing him than throwing him to a island i slowly flew down to the island than saying "is that all you got, what happen" the knife guy than said "eheheheh this isnt even my final form!" the knife guy than started to transform into his final form which made us equal in power, i than flew backwards charging a huge energy beams and the knife guy did the same by charging a huge knife energy beams, our beams clashes, the beams accidently reached to the core of the earth blinding everyone stopping the beam than transforming the earth into a lava planet, i notice that we have 5 minutes left so i flew towards him kneeing him 4 times than punching him in the stomach than launching a ki beam to his stomach than i'd teleport behind him doing a strong punch attack on his back but i'd be caught off guard when the knife guy teleports behind me doing a kick than 20 fast punches than stabbing me than flying towards the ground that isnt lava than the knife guy flys upwards launching beams of knifes but thankfuly i created a shield before the knifes can hit me than i launched a strong beam attack almost ending the knife guys life, i than walked towards him holding him by his neck over lava, i than said "i'll let you live IF YOU NEVER HURT A SINGLE PERSON AGAIN" the knife guy agreed so i threw him towards the island than i flew away but the knife guy didnt want this, his pride was hurt and he knew he couldnt live like this so he launched a one final big large knife at me, i realized that and i said "YOU FOOL!" i launched a one handed energy beam attack completely destroying the knife and killing the knife guy too, i than flew away hoping to find the exit but than i saw the same orb i saw in the start so i followed it than it stopped at the door than i opened it but than i saw the horror of i was in the knife guy's world...

Typology
Typology is a method of interpretating scripture. Typology itself is not a hermeneutic position but should always be responsibly paired with a hermeneutic approach. Typology has been a very controversial form of exegesis, as it is somewhat metaphorical and symbolic. Biblical typology is essentially to take the events and characters of the OT scriptures and understand how they are paralleled in the NT scriptures.
Types, Antitypes, and Archetypes
There are 3 words we need to consider: type, archetype, and antitype. "Type" is a common word we use every day. White, wheat, and rye are all types of bread. Bread would be the archetype. It is the overarching concept that all these are types of. An antitype is what the types ultimate fulfillment is, or the correspondence, or copy of the type. Take, for example, Joseph, the son of Jacob. He was lifted up to Pharaoh's throne and was given rule over Egypt. This is a "type." The OT event and figure is the example itself. The archetype in this case is about reign and authority. The antitype is when Jesus was lifted up to the throne of God in heaven and granted rule over the kingdom of God. By understanding the account of Joseph, we can recognize the patterns that we see played out in Jesus. Joseph was the son of Jacob, Israel. Jesus was a descendent of Israel. Joseph was a righteous man who was captured and taken by his own brothers. Jesus was captured and taken by his own fellow brothers, Israelites. Joseph was sold into slavery for money. Judas betrayed Jesus for silver. Joseph was placed in prison but was released to become king over all of Egypt. Jesus was raised from the dead and released to be glorified above all creation. Joseph was given a colourful robe by his father Jacob, Jesus was clothed with his Father's glory.
Why Typology is Important
Why is typology important? First, the NT writers themselves use typology, which validates this as a proper methodology for understanding and interpreting scripture. Jesus, Paul, Peter, John, the Hebrews writer, and Matthew all use typology. Second, it is a way to better understand Jesus himself and his roles. Third, it is one reason that we know Jesus truly fulfilled all scriptures. He is ultimately the antitype of every major character and event in the OT in one way or another.
Where does "Typology" come from?
"Typology" comes from the Greek word τύπος (tupos). Paul uses this word in 1 Corinthians 10:6: "Now these things have become types to us." Paul also uses this word in Romans 5:14, referencing Adam as a type of Christ. Peter uses the word ἀντίτυπος (antitupos) in 1 Peter 3:21 in reference to the flood and baptism. These two words are generally translated as something like: copy, pattern, example, or corresponding. The idea of a "type" and "antitype" is essentially that a type is an example, an antitype is the copy. Think of a stamp that makes an impression on a coin. There is a pattern etched into a machine, and it produces a copy when stamped on the coin.
Basic Rules of Typology
Typology must have textual warrant. Typology isn't simply to imagine a connection with no basis. It is very important that your approach to typology does not negate, override, or contradict your hermeneutic approach. I use the historical-grammatical method. When doing typological studies, the original intent and interpretation of the text can not be waved to force a typological comparison. Following up with this, typology is not allegory. In studying mythology, it is very common to take allegorical stories and apply them to archetypal symbols. Osiris, being the god of the underworld, is an allegory for the subconscious mind. The tunnels of Set are an allegory for the pathways of the brain. These are fictional stories that relate to greater types. Biblical typology is not to relegate the original type to mere allegory. These types are real events that occurred in history, and Jesus is a copy of those historical patterns. Biblical typology does not reduce the validity or credibility of those OT types. Typology should not be theologically motivated. John Chysostom has famously interpreted the killing of children 2 years of age and under as being a type for the Trinity. Unitarians and binitarians, asserting one or two, are to be killed or anathema. The story of Herod, he believes, is a type for the Trinity. Allowing systematic theology to influence a typological interpretation is not a proper way to understand types. Types must be independent of those systematic views and correspond to an archetypal pattern, not a theological agenda.
Typology is very controversial because it seems like it is so open to subjective interpretation. However, given that the NT writers use it as a basis and validate it as an approach, we must find a way to understand typology that is consistent with how they interpreted it through the text. Sometimes, these typological correspondences are explicit and clear. Other times, more obscure. Paul says that Jesus was risen up on the third day "according to the scriptures" (1 Corinthians 15:3-4). Yet, there's no OT prophecy regarding the Messiah, which states this. Paul is drawing this from typology and the consistent theme of the 3rd day in the OT. When we approach typology, we must approach it in the same way the apostles and NT writers themselves did, whether implicitly or explicitly. Typology can be a crucial tool in helping us to see the harmony of scripture, God's providence over the events of history, and inspiration of the scriptures by the harmony of the themes of the text.
Some direct examples of typology in the NT

Hebrews 9:23-25: Therefore it was necessary indeed for the representations of the things in the heavens to be purified with these, but the heavenly things themselves with better sacrifices than these. For Christ has entered not into holy places made by hands, copies of the true ones, but into heaven itself, now to appear for us in the presence of God, nor that He should offer Himself repeatedly, just as the high priest enters into the holy places every year with the blood of another.

The Hebrews writer is comparing the type, which is the OT sacrifices in the temple, to the antitype, which is the sacrifice of Christ in heaven. He calls them, "representation of the things in heaven." The things on earth are shadows of the forms in heaven.

Colossians 2:16-17: Therefore let no one judge you in regard to food, or in regard to drink, or in regard to a feast, or a New Moon, or Sabbaths, which are a shadow the things coming. But the body is of Christ.

Paul states that these old covenant holy days were types, or "shadows," and Jesus is the antitype or substance of that shadow. For example, the Sabbath was a day of rest. But we now find our rest in Christ (Matthew 11:28-30).

John 3:14-15: And as Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness, so must the Son of Man be lifted up, that whoever believes in him may have eternal life.

This is a call back to Numbers 21:4-9, where Israel spoke against God, and he released poisonous serpents on them. Moses made a bronze serpent on a tree, and those who were poisoned could look to the serpent and be healed. Jesus is stating that he is the antitype because in the same way, those of us dying from sin can look to him when he is nailed to a tree for our salvation.

1 Corinthians 10:9-11: We must not put Christ (or "the Lord" in some manuscripts) to the test, as some of them did and were destroyed by serpents, nor grumble, as some of them did and were destroyed by the Destroyer. Now, these things happened to them as an example, but they were written down for our instruction, on whom the end of the ages has come.

Paul says that these are "examples" for us. He's speaking of the same event as John 3:14. The parallel here is that Israel tested God and were destroyed. Similarly, we should not test Christ. We should look to him for salvation.

1 Corinthians 10:1-4: For I do not want you to be unaware, brothers, that our fathers were all under the cloud, and all passed through the sea, and all were baptized into Moses in the cloud and in the sea, and all ate the same spiritual food, and all drank the same spiritual drink. For they drank from the spiritual Rock that followed them, and the Rock was Christ.

Noting back to what was previously stated, Paul tells us specifically in verse 6 that these things are "types." He references Moses leading the nation of Israel through the Red Sea after the waters were parted. He says they were "baptized" in this way. Moses did not baptize them in the Red Sea in the same way John the Baptist baptized people in the Jordan River. Paul is making a comparison. Israel walked through water. They entered as slaves of Egypt, then exited as a free nation under their God. The Sea destroyed the Egyptian soldiers and Pharoah. Paul is comparing this to water baptism, in which we go in as sinners and come out purified. We go in as slaves to the law (those of us who are under the law), and we come out with the freedom found in Christ by being baptized into him. The reference to "the cloud" is a reference to the pillar of clouds that guided Israel. This is likely a typological reference to the clouds of Jesus' ascension and a reference to Spirit baptism. Paul references the food and drink that Israel received. This food and drink is a reference to the mana, the bread that God made to appear like dew on the ground as food for Israel in the wilderness, and the drink is a reference to the rock God opened through Moses to provide water for Israel. These are similar to the bread of the body of Christ that he speaks of in John 6 and the living water that cures thirst in John 4. Both of these are found in Christ. The purpose of this passage is not to say that Jesus was literally in the wilderness with Israel but that these events were recorded because when we read them, we should see the parallel. We are now God's chosen nation, the body of Christ, just as Israel was. We are in the wilderness, waiting to enter the promised land, that being the kingdom of heaven. We receive our food and water, our life source through Christ, just as Israel received from God through the mana and rock. Jesus is our spiritual rock.

1 Peter 3:20-21: Because they formerly did not obey, when God’s patience waited in the days of Noah, while the ark was being prepared, in which a few, that is, eight persons, were brought safely through water. Baptism, which corresponds to this, now saves you, not as a removal of dirt from the body but as an appeal to God for a good conscience, through the resurrection of Jesus Christ.

Similar to the "baptized in Moses" statement of Paul, Peter himself notes a typological reference between the flood of Noah and the baptism of water. In the same way that the flood cleansed the earth of sin and evil, and yet preserved the souls of those on the ark, also baptism washes away all sin from us and preserves the soul of the sinner. The earth was typologically "baptized."

John 6:32-33: Jesus then said to them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, it was not Moses who gave you the bread from heaven, but my Father gives you the true bread from heaven. For the bread of God is he who comes down from heaven and gives life to the world.”

Jesus makes this parallel to being the antitype of the mana from heaven. In verse 51, we find that the bread that came down from heaven and gives life to the world is his flesh. His flesh is the new mana. The antitype.

2 Peter 2:6: If by turning the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah to ashes he condemned them to extinction, making them an example of what is going to happen to the ungodly.

Peter makes a few very quick passes at various OT shadows in the context here. But here, he uses the destruction and burning of Sodom and Gomorrah as a type, or "example," of what will happen to the ungodly in judgement. Destruction by fire. John uses this typology as well. Compare Revelation 14:11 with Isaiah 34:10.

Luke 11:29-32: When the crowds were increasing, he began to say, “This generation is an evil generation. It seeks for a sign, but no sign will be given to it except the sign of Jonah. As Jonah became a sign to the people of Nineveh, so will the Son of Man be to this generation. The queen of the South will rise up at the judgment with the men of this generation and condemn them, for she came from the ends of the earth to hear the wisdom of Solomon, and behold, something greater than Solomon is here. The men of Nineveh will rise up at the judgment with this generation and condemn it, for they repented at the preaching of Jonah, and behold, something greater than Jonah is here.

Jesus makes two typological references here. The first is that of Jonah. Jonah was a prophet who was sent to warn Nineveh about God's judgement upon them, and Jonah was swallowed up by the fish and under the sea for 3 days. Jesus' antitypal fulfillment of this is to warn the world of God's coming judgement (Matthew 4:17) and to lay dead under the earth for 3 days. Jesus' second typological reference is that of Solomon. Solomon was the king of Israel granted unparalleled wisdom and glory, having the most wealthy empire of all time. Yet, Jesus is "something greater than Solomon." He "has become for us wisdom from God." Jesus has wisdom that surpasses Solomon, and his kingdom will be greater than Solomons, for Jesus reigns in heaven over all creation.

Matthew 1:23: “Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and they shall call his name Immanuel” (which means God with us).

It is a very misunderstood passage, which is a typological reference as well. Matthew is not declaring that the prophecy of Isaiah 7:14 was fulfilled only when Jesus was born. Immanuel was a child during that time of Isaiah who would serve as a sign for king Ahaz. Matthew is making a typological reference. In the same way Immanuel was a child that served as a sign that God was with his people and had not abandoned them under king Ahaz 800 years prior, Jesus is now a sign to the nation of Israel that God has not left his people, even after 400 years of God's silence and sending no prophets. Jesus is regarded as the antitype of this OT event.
Indirect examples of Typology
These are just some examples of the more explicit references to typology in the NT. However, there are many implicit references. For example, Matthew's gospel as a whole is written in a way to show Jesus as the antitype of Moses. Jesus is the "greater Moses." Moses gave God's commandments from Mount Sinai. Jesus is portrayed as giving a new commandment from his sermon on the mount. Moses was a child born in Egypt under a period of genocide, and Moses barely survived. Similarly, Matthew is the only gospel writer (or even NT writer) who mentions the genocide or infanticide of Herod. Jesus was a baby whose life was in danger. The transfiguration of God's glory being shown through Jesus is a parallel to Moses when his face is shown with the reflection of God's glory. Paul makes reference to this comparison as well in 2 Corinthians 3. Hebrews 1:3 may also be a reference to this, "who is the radiance of his glory."
John's gospel has a common theme of typology implicitly as well. There are many indirect references to the old covenant in comparison to the new covenant. For example, in John 2, Jesus turns the water into wine. This is not just any water, this was specifically the hand washing water used for Jewish rituals as part of their scribal laws. Jesus turns this water into something new and refreshing as a symbolic way of showing the new covenant to the old. Jesus does the same in John 3 with the temple being God's house under the old covenant and the temple of his body in the new covenant, where God's presence resides. Jesus is the antitype of the Ark of the Covenant. In John 4, when speaking to the Samaritan woman at the well, he makes a comparison to the temple that their forefathers worshipped in, and the new worship "in spirit and truth." John's gospel also has a running theme of typological parallels between old creation and the new creation. God breathes breath/Spirit (same Hebrew word) into Adam, and he becomes a living soul (Genesis 2:7). Jesus breathes Spirit onto the apostles, and they become new creations (John 20:22, 2 Corinthians 5:17). God created the universe in 6 days, rested on the 7th, and said that it was finished (Genesis 2:2). When Jesus was on the cross, as he died, being laid to rest for 3 days in the ground, his final words were: "it is finished" (John 19:30). Also, John records Jesus' resurrection as being on "the first day of the week," meaning the beginning of a new week. The 8th day. Jesus is head of the new creation, and his resurrection on the new week symbolizes Jesus' beginning of a new creative week (John 20:1, Colossians 1:17-18).
The letter to the Hebrews is almost entirely a letter of typological comparisons. Jesus is the antitype of Melchizedek, being both king and high priest, he is the antitype of Aaron as the greater priest line, the antitype of old covenant and the sacrifices, the antitype of Moses, the Davidic kings, and more. This letter is written to show the superiority of Christ to those OT figures to show that they are the shadow of what is to come, and Christ is the substance that casts the shadow. The greater has been revealed in Christ, so do not fall back into the older, lesser things of the law.
Conclusion
There are many more examples of both implicit and explicit typology in the NT. There are also many typological parallels that are not mentioned directly or even indirectly by the NT authors, but we can see the pattern when reading the OT. A complete list of these types can be found in the forthcoming link. It is my belief that we will never find all of the types and antitypes between the testaments.

So I normally like to help people here but this time I'm looking for some opinions.
I would like to get a do it all Adv that I plan to start taking off road.
I don't want something above 900cc, and the T7 rally is too high for me. I'm 1.77, I can tip toe with one foot the T7 rally with my ass all the way to one side.
I've been looking at the tuareg 660 (I own the rs660) and the KTM 890 adventure, both are more comfortable in the reach the ground department but at my limit.
The transalp seems to be more road focus and in that case there are better road touring bikes.
The triumph Tiger is not an option I don't like the dealer near me.
Ducati is in the dream land, I'm trying to be below 14k euros.
I would like to use the bike mostly for touring, with luggage, do 2 up and also do some introduction to off-road.
Suggestions and insights are welcome, this is scouting mission the plan is to wait for winter to pull the trigger on a discounted bike.

Love this subreddit you guys are geniuses! I need some advice on building just a small platform for my above ground pool. I’m thinking like a 4x4 or 4x6? I’m really unsure of proper sizing but it’s basically just to sit an ice chest on and help us get in and out of pool easier (will connect stairs). I’d really like to use deck blocks as I don’t want to cement anything. We would like a bigger deck in the future. I’ve just been assuming I would use 4x4’s for my posts with 2x6 joists. I had thought I could use 2x4’s for the bottom joists to connect the bottom of the posts. Am I on the right track here? Any tips appreciated!

A family member has an in ground 33,000 gallon pool with no heating at all. He’s always done solar covers but has stopped cause they degrade and it’s becoming too much work for an older guy. He mentioned a black hose with a sump pump to cycle water to heat up through the hose.
I’ve got a 1600 gph pump and a 100 foot black hose. The math I’ve done says the water would cycle through the hose from end to end 6 times per minute. This feels really fast, almost to the point where the pool won’t even heat much or it wouldn’t really be worth it.
Does anyone have personal experience with this extremely cheap way to heat a pool? Does it even work enough to run it?
I’m aware that no one would be near or swimming in the pool while this pump is working, potential for a toaster in a bathtub kind of situation.
The idea of investing in a decent heat pump is out of the question financially. So just doing some research to see if there are effective and affordable ways to heat a pool. Even if it’s 5-10 degrees.