Our flag means death internet historian

I would like to apologize in advance, I’m a newer redditor and brand new to this incoming blackout and super anxious about it.
Many subreddits will be going dark in petition of the API pricing policy changes, and some apps have stated they will shut down altogether on June 30th. While I am in agreement with this protest since our voices need to be heard amongst this world of greedy corporations, I do have my concerns. This is my first time doing anything like this. What is the general protocol when something like this happens? Is there anyone who is more experienced with these blackouts able to reach out and guide me on what to prepare when these subreddits that I frequent go down? I am extremely worried and can hardly sleep at night. I’m only getting one, maybe two hours of sleep if I’m lucky. My performance at work is taking a drastic hit and because of the deficiency of sleep, I have constant mood swings. I don’t qualify for insurance for healthcare so I can’t exactly visit my local primary physician for help. All of my income goes to my increased rent and inflated food prices. The start of this month has already been rough for me. I’ve lost my hat, had to replace my worn-down shoes and my apple smart watch broke. This API blackout is just another issue added to my stress. Can any locals show me the ropes and help calm my nerves? Everywhere I go, I use reddit. My livelihood depends on it. I am shaking, getting light headed, and sweating myself as I’m typing this.
I’ve been hearing more and more reports of people leaving reddit altogether. They will be deleting all of their comments and posts before closing their accounts. Should I screenshot my favorite posts and put together a printed photo album when I want to go back to revisit some things?
I am mainly looking for information if anyone has advice on what to prep ahead of this blackout. We will not have any access to news, issues and events happening in our city when reddit goes dark. I imagine that traffic will be even worse than it already is because people will no longer be at home, on reddit. Combining that with speeders, slow people on the left lane, vehicles without their lights on in the rain and tailgaters.
Before you all brigade me for being a moron by asking what to prep and to “google it”, it was the first thing I did and I have some notes on hand. Just looking for the veterans to provide their wisdom and insight. Please stop the hate and be respectful. Reddit IS the front page of the internet.
I already have a few essentials such as a yearlong subscription to my local newspaper, bottled water that is not Zephyrhills or nestle, toilet paper, canned goods, portable AM/FM radio, an OLED Nintendo Switch™ with BOTW/TOTK including a battery recharge pack, candles, lenovo legion gaming pc for Diablo IV, lighters, tarp, sandbags, generator and most importantly, some pubsubs but there is no telling what will really happen until you actually experience it. Should I withdraw some cash on hand? How much? What will my reddit coins be worth? I made a regretful mistake recently of purchasing a very expensive reddit avatar nft as well and can’t refund it. I have some memes already printed out (majesty building mostly) and some printouts to simulate new posts like inadequate driving, traffic, i-4, what internet provider, BEST pizza/burgers/wings, epass or sunpass, hidden gems in Orlando, going to the theme parks will it rain, police/helicopter activity anyone know what is going on?
Discord is not an option for me. I’ve tried using discord and their pro nitro version but it isn’t the same as reddit. There are no orange upvote arrows, or karma and you have to jump through many loopholes to unlock different channels that I don’t have the mental capacity to learn. I joined the local gaming one and some user named rat mother personally banished me afterwards since they had a vendetta against me because I don’t understand reaction face emotes. So now I can’t even find friends to game with and play solo. I have not experienced this much toxicity since the days of ranked league of legends.
This is all just too sudden to go cold turkey from this subreddit with no warning. Will emergency services be open? What are the early signs of withdraw? Will Disney be open? Universal Studios Islands of Adventure? Does anyone realistically know where to specially get discounted tickets?
I do not have reddit gold/platinum at this time but will services restore to those who have those VIP features earlier than those who don’t have it? Or is it amount of reddit karma based? People who want to be ignorant and rude by saying “touch grass” need not comment. I have a medical condition that makes me severely allergic to organic wildlife matter. When you selected your starter Pokémon did you pick Bulbasaur? No, you did not touch grass. You went with Charmander or Squirtle. A lot of you might laugh and not take this seriously but I am a reddit pro power user. 93% of my phone’s battery app usage is for reddit and I upgraded my gaming pc to the 4090 for reddit. We all have our passions and hobbies and there is no need to shame others for theirs.
I’ve survived the hurricanes, the recession, pandemic and inflation. The death of vine, decline of digg, and the change from micro-usb. I don’t think I have the strength, the faith, nor the willpower strong enough to push through this blackout. Orlando is my home, my city. I was born and raised here. Even if we all leave this subreddit Orlando will still be with me, forever and always just like those who moved here from New York. They too, are Local and FLGrown. But it also begs the question on where Orlando Weekly will steal content posts next?
In the aftermath of all of this, will we all be the same person going in to this blackout as we are coming out? I have concerns that I won’t be “me” anymore. Who will take responsibility and be accountable for this emotional yet spiritual awakening traumatic event? The moderators?
[Edit] Thanks for the gold kind stranger! This is the way. The narwhal bacons at midnight (for those of you who are true redditors).

Title was composed from:

From: The American Heritage Dictionary
Word History: Agnostics do not deny the existence of God—instead, they hold that one cannot know for certain whether or not God exists. The term agnostic was coined by the 19th-century British scientist Thomas H. Huxley, who believed that only material phenomena were objects of exact knowledge. He made up the word from the prefix a-, meaning "without, not," as in amoral, and the noun Gnostic. Gnostic is related to the Greek word gnōsis, "knowledge," which was used by early Christian writers to mean "higher, esoteric knowledge of spiritual things"; hence, Gnostic referred to those with such knowledge. In coining the term agnostic, Huxley was considering as "Gnostics" a group of his fellow intellectuals—"ists," as he called them—who had eagerly embraced various doctrines or theories that explained the world to their satisfaction. Because he was a "man without a rag of a label to cover himself with," Huxley coined the term agnostic for himself, its first published use being in 1870.
https://ahdictionary.com/word/search.html?q=agnostic&submit.x=20&submit.y=28

The part about "Agnostics do not deny the existence of God" is easy enough. I already get plenty of downvotes for explaining why scientific theories are now explaining how our Creator, God, etc. works. The tactic makes "God did it" answers irrelevant. Scientific theory or nothing. And cyclic models Albert Einstein worked on too suggest the universe always was and always will be. No pre-existing realm with omnipotent deity required. Behavior of matter works great for powering complex molecular trial and error systems, living things. Logical reason not religious.
The part that I'm having a hard with is how to get back to what made Agnosticism great:

Huxley was considering as "Gnostics" a group of his fellow intellectuals—"ists," as he called them—who had eagerly embraced various doctrines or theories that explained the world to their satisfaction.

In the old days there was no moleculachemical evolution knowledge to speak of. A gap like that would have to fill in with a placeholder hypothesis. Religious "doctrine" would do until there is scientific theory to replace it with.
What I am having trouble conceptualizing is what their "explained the world to their satisfaction" would look like to you, and be in it. In a sub like this it could start with a list of all questions needing to be answered, arranged to flow from physics to chemistry, biochemistry, biology, on up.
To not fudge the all important question of afterlife, and better word for a scientific answer, there could be a pre-conscious at conception and post-conscious after returning to what becomes an in-between state. This leaves open the possibility we can come back again in the future, go backwards, or (by in a way being the universe experiencing itself) the lifetime of everything multicellular that ever was, and will be, everywhere. A single one way trip afterlife makes it seem like we were never once there, before conception and not conscious at the multicellular level yet.
One that is vital is "Why do organisms seek to survive?" needed to answer questions pertaining to "morals" in context of pre-existing genetic and cell level "altruistic" and "survival/homeostasis" behavior. This is already in our well networked together cells, including in our brain, communicating through ion channels into our sex cell makers, to help them epigenetically prepare future offspring for what parents experienced too.
The rest I need help organizing to be in spirit with Thomas Huxley and what you would expect. For now just enough for an outline, to post again after adding in a batch of new information from comments. Changes can be argued out in the proverbial "scientific arena" like in the old days. Add what survives to a summary doctrine theory with hyperlinks to where something is already explained in detail in a reply elsewhere, as are online science papers to "references".
An occasional update should cause minimal disruption to this sub, in comparison to earlier thoughts. Moderators do not have to change anything. Newbies occasionally venting anger against religion can be a good thing. Have a doctrine for the ones more or less looking for one with "What do you believe?" posts. They're used to having to try to memorize a Bible, something that fits in one opening post space is no problem. Can go from there to (like I used to) write Sunday Science Sermons with an uplifting message, without going out of bounds of science.
Topics with doctrine updates would have to present scientific information or better wording for what is already there. Other topics can be as religious as they want to be. What matters is the Thomas Huxley thing is going on at the same time, for newcomers to attempt when they find something to possibly fill a knowledge gap. A scientist level theory, attracting academia here too.
I know it's thinking big, again, but this was all done before and they had no internet. Imagine what we could do with it? Where do I/we go from here?

{THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS THE FOLLOWING: Existential dread, emotional moments, romance, and a singular phrase which could be seen as suggestive depending on how dirty your mind is. ;) }
(Any sentences or phrases wrapped with brackets "[ ]" are designated as inner monologue!)
Thank you to u/SpacePaladin15 for creating this wonderful literary universe!
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Memory transcription subject: James Willik, Human Historian
Date [standardized human time]: July 15, 2165
“Umm. Sooo, isn’t the universe only around 14 billion years old?”
“You would be correct.” The scientist’s expression showed that he was as dumbfounded as I was. “I should add that the highest number that any of our new dating devices can go is to around 20 billion, it is entirely possible that the artifact could be even older than we can detect.”
[What the fuck.]
A shrill voice from my left shook me out of my stupor. I looked to my side to see Lemva standing out of her seat, her tail lashing angrily. “Is this some elaborate joke? That isn’t possible. What you’re saying isn’t possible.” President Zhao began to speak. “I am fully aware how frankly nonsensical this is sounding, but this is serious and we need to approach this with an open mind. The Federation rated this item as a danger to the entire galaxy for a reason. We have no idea what we’re dealing with here and with something that could pose this much danger that is not acceptable.” Lemva suddenly spat with a ferocity I haven’t heard in a long time. Her anger frightened me not just because of her abnormal behavior and proximity, but also because of the recipient of her anger.
“You are aware that what you’re saying undermines everything we know about existence, right? Are you aware of that? Do you have any idea how INSANE this is sounding? You’re telling us, US, a couple of unqualified nobody misfit historians, that we’re somehow prophesied by this magical indestructible artifact that existed before time to do… something? AND YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT SOMETHING IS?! You just expect us to take this sitting down? Uh-uh, no, I’m not accepting this.” I tapped the table gently to get her attention, she snapped one of her orange eyes at me in response, I could barely get out what I was going to say in fear of her. “Maybe we shouldn’t yell at President Zhao?” I squeaked my suggestion at her. She just smoldered at me.
Lemva quickly pushed her chair backward and power-walked through the doors of the conference room, the force from her slamming the door rattled its hinges. I sometimes forget how strong she is, perks of evolving on such a high gravity planet I suppose. I glance at my remaining two partners and they are just as shaken as me. We all slowly look back at Zhao in fear of his response to Lemva’s attitude. Zhao still looked calm, so that’s good, but his posture indicated exhaustion.
“You three can leave for now, I’ll schedule another meeting for tomorrow once she’s settled down. If you could talk to her, that would be greatly appreciated.” Zhao started to rise from his seat but paused momentarily. “Oh I forgot to mention, you’ve been granted access to the guest residence wing. Lars, hand them their cards please.” A large man walked around and passed us our cards, handing me a second one presumably for Lemva. “The suite’s code on the tram is S29. You’re dismissed.”
Cayek, Tassak, and I quickly hurried out of the room to catch up with the furious venlil. Thankfully she hadn’t gone far, and was just waiting at the tram. We approached her quietly, none of us having the courage to start a conversation. She barely acknowledged us as we drew closer. I steeled myself to initiate contact but to my surprise she decided to do it first. “We’re leaving. Fuck this, they expect us to just accept that everything we know is wrong? They can take their invitations and shove them up their asses.” I gathered the courage to respond to her.
“I’ve never seen you this angry before. Talk to me.” She sighed, seeming to deflate as she did. Most of her anger melted off of her and left defeat in its place. “I need some time, I don’t have the energy right now.” “Alright, that’s ok. Before we left the conference room, we were handed keycards to the suite. Zhao said that we could stay there for a while.
Lemva looked up at my face with an eye. The happy glint she usually carried in her eyes was replaced with a dull feeling of hopelessness. “Okay.” I gently placed a hand on her shoulder. She answered my request to hug her before I had even asked. She buried the side of her head into my chest. We sat there for a few seconds, and it felt good, but all good things had to come to an end eventually. I silently guided her into the tram, Cayek and Tassak following close behind. The doors closed and I typed in the code for our suite, S29. The tram took off and winded through a maze of hidden tunnels before arriving at our destination.
Exiting the tram, we came to a closed set of heavy fake wooden doors with a keycard reader to the side. I swiped my card and the hidden locks on the doors clicked several times, before the doors swung open. [Wow. This is a really nice room.]
I guided Lemva onto a nearby sofa and marched into the gargantuan kitchen provided to us in order to prepare some coffee for her. As I waited for the coffee machine to finish, I saw Cayek and Tassak exploring their new surroundings. Cayek walked around and admired the luxurious artistry that permeated the space, while Tassak… Tassak poked at various objects as if she had never seen them before. She reminded me of a curious child. She accidentally tore a hole in a chair with her claw before hastily trying to hide the damage with a very obviously out of place pillow.
The coffee machine sputtered the last few drops of liquid ambrosia into Lemva’s mug and I hurried over to where she was sitting. I placed the warm cup into her paws and sat beside her. For several minutes we watched some TV on the large screen across from us. Lemva leaned more into my shoulder the longer we sat there. Tassak and Cayek had gone to their rooms by now. After watching 8 episodes of the ninety-seventh season of The Simpsons, she had calmed down.
I looked down at her. “Are you ready to talk now?” She nodded. “Mhm.” “Ok, do you wanna tell me why you got so angry during the conference?” She frowned slightly. “Everything they were saying… the artifact, I just…” She stopped for a moment to gather her words. “If what they said was true, and the artifact is from before the universe, and it depicts us… that implies so much. If what they said is true, then whoever made the artifact could see the future. If they could see the future, that means fate exists. If fate exists, then that means that everything I’ve ever done, everything that we’ve ever done, was meaningless. I mean, all my struggles, all my successes, for no reason.” She looked up at me and I could tell she could see my confusion.
“If you were playing a game, and every action you took did absolutely nothing to change the end result, but the whole time you thought that they did, wouldn’t it hurt to realize in the middle of a round that your input is entirely meaningless and changes nothing? But then, if you look at it another way, there’s the idea that you’re not even really alive, that you’re just a machine going through the motions. The idea that everything you were, are, and will be, every action you take, every thought you think, every emotion you feel is just a set of directions and ideas set to play out for the rest of eternity, that you’re just a couple words on a page to be read…”
I had no idea how to respond to that. I was never all too good at imagining such high-brow philosophical concepts, and I’ve always been even worse at handling the emotions of others, so wrap the two up into a depressing little veggie wrap and you’ve got me stumped. I did the only thing I could think to do at that moment. I wrapped my arms around her and placed my chin on her forehead. She snuggled into my body. I hadn’t felt this much comfort for a long, long time.
“Y’know… after I dropped contact those few years ago, I always wanted to send you a message, tell you I miss you, tell you why I stopped contacting, those sorts of things. But I never did. Because I was afraid.” I lifted my chin off Lemva’s head and she looked up at my face. I stared down back at her. “What were you afraid of?” She asked me in a soft voice. “Lots of things. I was afraid of explaining what happened, the “incident” was too recent to talk about. I was afraid that you’d hate me for disappearing, and the fear only got worse the longer time went. But mostly…” I inhaled sharply as I prepared myself. “I was afraid you’d betray me.” Lemva’s eyes held a puzzled and pained expression.
“I didn’t tell you who killed my parents, only that someone did. Soon after I was born, my father went into the venlil exchange program and met a venlil named Draton. They became friends almost immediately, or at least, Draton pretended to become friends.” Malice filled my voice as I talked about the scum who murdered my family. “I loved him growing up, almost as much as my parents, for a while he was like, my third favorite person in the world. He was like an uncle to me and a sibling to my parents.” I gulped and looked away. “Hopefully it should be obvious what I’m saying he did.” I took a shuddering breath and looked deep into Lemva’s eyes. “I was terrified that another loved one would turn out to be a monster. I was terrified that you would turn out to be a monster.”
I closed my eyes and mustered all the courage I could manage and called upon every deity from every religion I could remember or had even heard of in passing. I opened my eyes and placed my hands gently on the sides of Lemva’s head. She didn’t resist. “Alright… this is my greatest secret yet. I’ve been so scared to tell you but I can’t keep holding it in anymore, I need you to know.” Lemva held her breath.
“I love you Lemva, I’ve loved you since we first hung out in history club, I loved you when you cheered and hopped around at our graduation, I loved you when you talked so enthusiastically about your job. I always have, and I always will, love you.” I could feel my face burning as blood rushed through my cheeks. Lemva had it even worse though, her face was more orange than the fruit the color was named after. Her eyes were so wide I could barely see her irises anymore.
Tears formed in her eyes, but I could tell right away that these weren’t tears of sadness. The goofiest and cutest smile I had ever seen in my life quickly formed on her little face. She squeaked at me in delight. “You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to hear you say that.” She reached up, grabbed my hands, and squeezed them tight. I could feel her tail wrap around my back, a gentle force guided me closer to her. “You sure you wanna do this?”
“I’ve been around humans all my life, I know what a kiss is, dummy.” She whispered amusedly. We closed our eyes and embraced for the first time. All my worries, fears, and doubts melted away and drained off of my mind like meltwater off a cliff as we sat there basking in each other’s warmth.
We separated our faces and stared at each other. The happy glint in her beautiful orange eyes had returned brighter than I had ever seen it before. We sat staring for what seemed like forever, I had forgotten that a world existed beyond this sofa. I looked up at an antique clock mounted on the wall and waited a moment as my implant translated the extraterrestrial time-keeping system into a familiar 12-hour format. 8PM. Almost as if in response to my realization of the time, a wave of exhaustion crashed into me like a rogue space freighter. I wanted so desperately to stay here cuddled with Lemva for the rest of my life, but alas, sleep deprivation is a cruel mistress.
“Lem, it’s 8pm, we gotta get some sleep if we’re gonna attend the conference tomorrow.” “Awww, a couple more minutes? Pleeeeeeeease?” “I know this is really comfy and I know you don’t wanna think about ‘the object’ but we’ve got to do it.” I could tell she was still uncomfortable thinking about the implication that even the mention of the artifact carried with it, and we still would need to talk that through, but for now at least, she wasn’t having an existential crisis.
We untangled ourselves, rose off the sofa, and headed toward our rooms. But Lemva suddenly halted in the middle of the hallway. I spun around to see why she stopped. She looked down at the ground and rubbed her paws together like she does when she’s nervous, her face was an almost neon orange, miraculously managing to be even more vibrant than before. She wore a bashful smile on her face. “Is something wrong?” “no… I was just wondering, could I sleep in your room for tonight?” “Sure. Why, is there something wrong?”
“No… there’s just… something I’ve been wanting to try…”
“Wha- oh.”
“Oh.”
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(I think I've got a hang of the reddit formatting now. However, advice and critiques of the way the story is told are still very welcome.)

This is my first time reading {Heir of Fire by Sarah J. Mass}. I know NOTHING about what happens in this book. I haven’t even read the blurb.
This is me just writing down thoughts as I read, so some of them will undoubtedly be wrong in the end. I try not to go back and change anything I speculated or ranted about later, because that would be cheating. Also, there will surely be typos, especially with the weird names.
As a caveat: I bought the series as a bundle on Amazon, so my Kindle edition is one BIG book. It is 4855 pages long. That means my page numbers will not line up with the regular editions of the book. Still, I’ll include my page number to give a sense of where I am in the story.
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Spoilers Abound!
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Page 842 Are we going to spend this whole book in this other land, without our two boyfriends? Because, I’m not up for 300 pages of pining for Choal. On the other hand, maybe someone more interesting will arrive now.
Page 851 A tattooed fae warrior guy has arrived. Things are already looking up!
Page 854 Ugh! Choal is whining about Archer’s death and how Dorian is possibly in danger from Celeana and his loyalty to Evil King Guy, again. Like, I just want the hero focused on the heroine’s safety and goals more…? I guess he IS moving back to his evil dad’s land, to help her, though. Maybe I just enjoy bad guy types, rather than do-gooder types in my romance books. Maybe that’s why I can’t get into him as our endgame hero, yet.
Page 876 I think Wolf Warrior guy just pushed Dorian into the rose bushes to get his blood to look for magic. Or maybe he just likes picking on Dorian for the hell of it.
Page 878 Ooooo, Dorian’s got a healer girl crushing on him. A new romance must be starting, because we’ve switched to her POV and she’s all gushy about his handsomeness. This makes me happy! I like him better than Chaol.
Page 895 Hmmm… I think tattooed fae guy is Celaena’s cousin. Also, Wolf Warrior guy is her cousin. It seems like she’s related to all the new hot characters. Doesn’t bode well for a charismatic new leading man sweeping her off her feet.
Page 897 I am unclear how the witch clans fit into everything here. Why are we suddenly following them?
Page 897 Thinking about it… I do like that this book seems to be expanding the world and giving us more characters and settings. I am more invested in this story, now. So, it’s GOOD the witch is here, I guess.
Page 903 Oh, the witches are going to fly the dragon things being raised in the secret mountain pass. Gotcha.
Page 919 I like how all the witches are panicky and curious about who killed the super old carnival Yellow-Legs and why she was targeted. And Celaena only spur-of-the-moment killed her to hide Dorian’s dumb fortune-telling question. Did she even know the witch’s name? The randomness of it amuses me.
Page 970 Chaol’s been kidnapped… again.
Page 974- Wolf Warrior guy isn’t evil. I suspected he wasn’t, because Adeion seems likable and crafty. Most of the bad guys so far are smelly morons. And WHY is he named Adeion , when Celeanda’s fairy-name is Aelin? The names are SO CLOSE, when I’m reading fast. It gets me confused.
Page 974: Also, guy with two swords working with the rebels seems cool. He has a scar and two swords. That’s really all I need to be intrigued.
Page 974 Also, what the fuck Choal! Don’t tell people Celaena’s the lost princess! You’re going to get her killed, dumbass!
Page 976 Who is Ren, again? The two-swords guy? A lot of stuff seems to be happening, now with the rebels. It might have been better to do this scene from Chaol’s POV, because then I would be learning it all along with him, instead of jumping into Adeion’s head. He already knows what’s going on and now I have to catch up.
Page 955 I like Rowan and Celeana’s storyline best in this book. I like how he’s got this idea of her as useless and weak. But she’s going to show him he’s wrong sooner or later (I assume) and then, in my head, he’s going to be super impressed with her. Also, he’s not really her cousin. If he works at it, he could be the Rhysard of this series. But he probably won’t be, because I’m not great at picking leading men in a TV, book, movie series.
Page 1009 I love the witch storyline! I didn’t except that. Manon has chosen the beat up, bait wyvern and I am literally smiling. I was so sad it was being eaten alive, but now it’s got a devoted owner. It’s like a little rescue-dragon from the pound.
Page 1018 Kings don’t “hand out mind-controlling jewelry unless they want absolute dominion.” Hahahah. Adeion’s funny. I like him.
Page 1021 So many names and so much backstory! The Rebels and the Terrasen stuff is confusing to me, so far. Kudos to Adeion for being so loyal to his cousin, though. I have cousins. They would all fuck me over in a heartbeat to seize control of a kingdom. He’s never even met adult Celeana and he’s all in on her as queen. See why I like him?
Page 1024 Okay, I think I get the shift in my thinking w/t the series. I was okay with books 1 and 2, but book 3 is really hitting all the right notes with me. I feel like this one is more adult and that’s why I love it. The others had more of a YA feel. The story is now bigger and the characters are more complex. It’s like the men have arrived and before I had boys.
Page 1063 I think Eldie, the other magical, Terrasen noble girl, is alive. We’ve mentioned her a couple times now. Maybe she can date Adeion. He needs a girlfriend. (Or boyfriend. He could also date Ren.)
Page 1085 That little dragon and Manon are flying together and eating flowers. We could just switch it up and make this their book series and I’d be okay with it, now. Axi-whatever-his-name-is the most adorable little terror-monster, ever!
Page 1090 The half-fae are telling stories about Maeve. I don’t like it when someone is telling a story within a book. It’s usually blocks of text and blocks of text are hard for me to read. I skim.
Page 1140- There is another kingdom called “The Wastes” now. I feel like I was supposed to know that already, but I don’t. Jesus. I hope there’s not a test on the lore of this series, because I would fail it.
Page 1143 I love that plucky little dragon guy! Now he’s taking out evil spiders. He and Manon are my forever-ship. I am so worried, because the witches are bad guy, though. So, what if he’s hurt somehow? I would be seriously scarred by that. Not kidding.
Page 1155: Uh-oh. Dorian and healer girl are happy. Having sexy times. Not involved in any major storyline. This isn’t looking good for them. Current prediction: Healer girl is dead real soon
Page 1158: Dorian is telling Choal that he can’t pick and choose which pieces of people to love. That is really good advice. Choal will probably not listen.
Page 1207: Now I feel like Choal is NOT the endgame love interest. Because, Celeana is talking about how she is a different person these days than she was with him, blah, blah.
Page 1207 But I’m not sure Rowan is endgame either, although he and Celeana are getting closer, because the book keeps telling me there is nothing sexual going on between them. Also, it would be kind of sad for him being an immortal guy and her not being immortal. He wouldn’t want to lose another mate. I’m torn.
Page 1264: I do not trust Lady Marion. Is she still alive? Don’t remember. But I’m reading Celaena’s memories and I just vibe that she’s bad, because why else is she introduced?
Pge 1270 Whoops! Called that one wrong. Lady Marion just died in the memory, saving Celaena. Sorry Marion. I misjudged you.
Page 1283- It is now 5:54 am. I am reading and eating Frosted Flakes on my sofa. Not so unusual for breakfast… Except, it’s not breakfast. I haven’t gone to bed, yet. I’ve been up all night, reading this damn book.
Page 1306- King Evil Guy’s plan reminds me of that Simpsons episode where Lisa says to Bart, “Even if the Three Stodges did come back to life, what makes you think they’d want to hang out with you?” I mean, sure you can invite incorporeal monsters from other dimensions into your kingdom, but do you really think they’ll let it remain YOUR kingdom for long? Even as zombies? And who even WANTS to rule over a kingdom of zombies? Like, think it through, dumbass.
Page 1329- Manon is not THAT bad. She’s just not. She saved that other witch from falling and she loves the wyverns. I not sure I can vote for Celeana to win, if they ever have to fight. I like Manon too much. She might be my favorite character.
Page 1339- Uh-oh. Evil king is kidnapping Choal and Dorian and their buddies. This is one kidnapping per book for Chaol, if you’re keeping track. He’s just a terrible guardsman.
Page 1339- Shit, if Aedion does before he even gets to see Celaena I’m gonna cry. Take any of the others, Evil King, but not him!
Page 1344: Yep, healer girl is dead. I knew it was only a matter of time. Better her than Aedion.
Page 1350- Choal saved the dog, again. The book does this to me, because it wants me to question myself and my choice to not like him so much. Crap. You HAVE to sort of like someone who likes dogs. Or wyvern.
The end
Okay that one was amazing! I am still confused as hell as to the endgame romance, but I enjoyed reading the book so much I don’t even mind. Five stars!

[Question:] The UNO, America, Britain, in fact the entire western media accuse the Taliban of violating the rights of women; of banning them from jobs, of ordering them to observe 'Purdah'. The Taliban are also accused of depriving women of their right to education.
[Answer:] The basic question here is what are the rights of women and who will determine them.
If the women's rights have been determined and fixed by Allah Ta`ala, if these rights have been given to the women by Allah Ta`ala Himself, then what the Taliban are doing seems perfectly right. The rights granted by then are fully in accordance with the orders of Allah Ta`ala. On the other hand if women have been given their rights by the West, if the right to determine what these rights are lies with America, Europe, Britain, the United Nations then admittedly the Taliban are in the wrong.
Now we are Muslims. The Taliban are Muslims. The people of Afghanistan are Muslims. All of us firmly believe that neither do we acknowledge the rights given to women by the West, nor are we bound by them. People who agree to these rights are welcome to respect them. But people who do not acknowledge the western-bestowed rights at all, to force them into obeying them, to complain against their attitude, to accuse them of not giving these rights to their women, seems to be entirely absurd and stupid. Either that or it would be coercion, oppression in its basest form. It would be denial of their freedom denial of their religious rights. And this is in itself against the principles of the West.
An explanation of the sum and substance of all these allegations is that Islam has put all the responsibility of a woman's upkeep upon the man. If a man is not capable of paying a woman's 'Mahr', (dower), of bearing her expenses then his marriage is not valid. The course of his married life comes to an end. If the husband dies, the women has a right to remarry so that the new husband may bear her expenses, or she can go back to her parents who are responsible for her livelihood. Along with it Islam has made a woman heir of her parent's wealth, as well as heir to the estate of her husband. She is the heir to her children's property too. This has been done so to make ample provisions for a woman. Contrary to this the men in the West have made women an object of their lust and desires. They have used them how soever they pleased. When these slaves-of their-desires had to go to work, to offices and factories they dragged the women along with them too. Women were made to work in offices, restaurants, shops and factories for the gratification of their desires. In this way did the western man destroy the personality, position and identity of a woman.
In Thailand, Holland, Bangkok etc. women so unashamedly, with such pride solicit made attention in markets, in open public places, like men in Pakistan and Afghanistan sell their wares sitting by the roadside. Then the ignominy of it all is that at night these women ask each other how much they have "earned" during the day or night. The poor, wretched western house-wife is not sure whether her husband will return home to her or spend the night in another woman's arms.
The women in the West are labouring under a double burden. One, she is torn by anxiety as to who will look after her in case she remains unmarried, for her culture has deprived her of her right of a share in the property and wealth of her parents, nor is anyone else willing to take on her responsibility. She is thus forced to wander from door to door in search of security. Even in the matter of dress she is exploited. Men wear trousers which cover their ankles too while the women are forced to wear skirts with their legs bare in every kind of weather. In the scantiest of dresses-merely a sleeveless blouse and mini-skirt the western woman can be seen roaming in shops, air-ports, stations etc. She is an target for unscrupulous men who satisfy their lust with them, wherever, whenever, howsoever they please. She has become no less than a b[*]tch, chased by a dozen dogs in heat. If these are the rights of the western women then the West is welcome to them.
What about the eastern or rather the Muslim woman? A Muslim woman is the queen of her house, a princess of the society. Her role is that of a mother, sister, daughter, grandmother and aunt. A man with the sweat of his brow fulfils her needs of food and shelter. He fiercely protects her honour, dignity and chastity. A Muslim man firmly believes that a husband and wife's relation is a one to one relationship. One who interferes in it does so at the risk of his life, for he would be challenging the man's honour.
I ask the western people, specially the UN why, when their women enjoy all kinds of rights, every kind of freedom, do they stop them from going about in the nude in shopping places etc.? Why have they made it necessary for them to cover the upper and lower parts of their bodies with at least two pieces of cloth, as human dignity and civilization demand? This means that the West, the UN admit to code of at least one percent decency for men and women. Now if a nation, as a nation, as a Muslim nation believes in ninety-nine percent decency and honour of women then what right does the West have to criticize it? After all it admits to one percent decency too.
In the end I would like to make an entreaty to Europe too. I would like to ask the Europeans why they are bent upon making other people suffer from that which is the cause of their own suffering? The thing which has destroyed them why are they forcing it upon other people? Your Parliament passes a bill which makes it legal for a man to marry another man, for a son-in-law to marry his wife's mother, i.e. his mother-in-law. Why do you compel us to do the same?
As far as the question is concerned that the women in Kabul have been banned from jobs with no one to look after them, so how will they survive, the answer is that the Taliban have made provisions for them. They have told all women who were working in offices etc. to stay at home and they will receive their entire salary there. There is no need for them to work any longer. Their salaries will be continued. Now if in-spite of this someone creates an uproar that women's rights are being violated, he is actually trying to spread immorality. He is not concerned with the rights of women but wants to propagate prostitution in fact.
Then, who really are these working women and where have they come from? One must go and find out for, Afghani women do work in their own homes but not in offices. And another thing, an Afghani woman may belong to any area, Purdah is inherent in her nature. Purdah is a vital part of Afghan culture; it is its national identity. Now the woman who are demanding freedom from Purdah, right to employment, the women for whose rights the UNO is making such demand, they do not in fact belong to Afghanistan at all but have come from somewhere else. They belong to Tajikistan, Russia and Iran. They have some to Afghanistan with the specific purpose of destroying its environment. Under a well-thought out plan they are working upon undermining the influence of Islamic values.
Then, who really are these working women and where have they come from? One must go and find out for, Afghani women do work in their own homes but not in offices. And another thing, an Afghani woman may belong to any area, Purdah is inherent in her nature. Purdah is a vital part of Afghan culture; it is its national identity. Now the woman who are demanding freedom from Purdah, right to employment, the women for whose rights the UNO is making such demand, they do not in fact belong to Afghanistan at all but have come from somewhere else. They belong to Tajikistan, Russia and Iran. They have some to Afghanistan with the specific purpose of destroying its environment. Under a well-thought out plan they are working upon undermining the influence of Islamic values.
Then among these women demanding rights of employment, are those too who are linked with the Communists in Afghanistan. They went to Moscow, learned all the vices there ad came back, bent upon destroying the Islamic environment of Afghanistan. They were officially appointed for this work. If this is not so, then where are the widows of the 1.6 million Shuhada who died in the Jihaad against Russia? Out of the 1.6 million there must still be at least 0.3 million, alive. What happened to these women? Who is looking after them? Why didn't the UN raise its voice for their rights? Weren't they human beings? Or didn't they need food to stay alive?
The fact is that these widows were Muslims and Muslim men are taking care of them. Either they were given in second marriages or their parents brothers or relatives are looking after in accordance with the laws of Sharee`ah. Their lives are safe and so is their honour.
The women who were living in Kabul mostly belonged to Communists, Mulhideen, and heretics, who enjoyed the patronage of the UN. The leaders sent their husbands to the front, into the mouth of death. They then called these beautiful women and appointed them as, sweepresses in their offices and satisfied their lust with them. The fault thus lies with the UN itself. The rights it gave these women were those of sweeping the offices of lecherous officials. Their responsibility now totally lies with the UN whose charter it is to protect the rights of women in this degraded, shameful fashion.
As far as education is concerned, Islam has given women the right to acquire education and we will certainly give them this right. At present the Taliban are busy in fighting a war, a war demanding all their energies and resources. As soon as they war comes to an end they will make proper arrangements for the education of women. But it must be kept in mind that the Muslim girl will be educated in an Islamic Madrasah from which she will emerge as an epitome of honour and decency, grace and dignity personified.
The UN does not have the right to prescribe a course of studies for our women. The western world is welcome to provide its brand of education to its own women which casts their modesty out of the window, which fosters sexual relationship between men and women; an education in which are taught the etiquettes of drinking and dancing, of merry-making; an education which causes young girls to attain puberty well before their age, which bestows upon them the status of unmarried mothers well before they have completed their college education.
The saddest fact is that those professing to be highly civilized have they never pondered upon the meaning of "civilization"?
The British Parliament passes a law according to which 'gays' could marry each other, i.e. a man was allowed to marry another man. Next, another law was passed which allowed a man to marry his mother-in-law. He has in his marriage the daughter and the mother both! Curses be on such animals, damned be such swines. Whatever did happen to their humanity, to their sense of shame?
Copulation with dogs has become common in England. It is a usual custom to make dogs heirs to a legacy. It is said that the Satan Pope John Paul II wedded a man to a frog. Such dirty evil people then criticize the experts, the true followers of Islam-the Taliban!
"Ashamed of yourself, you aren't!" as the saying in Urdu goes.
[Source]

CW: Birth Trauma, Medical Trauma, NICU Parent, PPD, and boundless joy
Hi all, FTM (35F) of a wonderful, perfect 3 month old baby girl.
This will be a long post but I wanted to write somethings down for my own processing and to simply share some of the things that we've gone through since LO arrived. My intention is not to scare or trigger anyone but rather share my story in the hopes that others might find some normalcy and support.
If you're anything like me I was scouring the internet prior to delivery. LO was ultimately delivered at 41w1d and I was HUGE. I'm 5'3" and I had gained over 50 lbs almost entirely in my belly. I was curb walking as much as possible and I did all of the things - eating dates, raspberry tea, exercises, stretches - anything to get baby to come on her own. I was having contractions for weeeeeks but nothing that ever escalated into true labor. I was exhausted despite my entire pregnancy being pretty textbook. There were no red flags at any point despite having done all of the standard tests and ultrasounds. Everything was pointing towards an easy delivery and healthy baby.
I was very done with pregnancy and, against my original plans (a theme), I decided to get induced. Went into the hospital on the evening of Feb 27 and had cervidil (sp??). It's supposedly more chill than pitocin. Things started happening around the morning of Feb 28. I was having real contractions and things were moving! The midwives were stoked that I responded so favorably without pitocin. Then things really started to ramp up. I was in triage waiting to be transferred to L&D (another theme) and was having really intense contractions. I finally (against what I had initially wanted) decided to take a narcotic. I needed a break and I was many hours away from full dilation plus I couldn't get an epidural until I was in L&D. Oof huge mistake. My contractions were just as intense as ever except during the in between I was having hallucinations. Luckily I had experienced drugs similar before so I knew what was going on but it worried my partner a lot (another theme). At this point I'm vomiting, my nurse is trying to get me transferred asap, my doula shows up and is trying to help me, and I'm wavering between screaming pain and having wild (and hilarious?) hallucinations.
Finally I'm cleared to transfer to L&D. Puke cup in hand, my nurse is running with me barely sitting in a wheelchair. I was so hot at that point that I remember it felt like a welcomed cool breeze. Partner is chasing behind us with far too many pieces of luggage in tow. We burst in the room and I was demanding to sit on the toilet but mostly was so blinded by pain I didn't really know what was going on or what I needed. Once again the doulas did their best to help me calm down and get through it. One of the nurses looked me dead in the eyes and was like "You can sit on that toilet but DO NOT push." I'm like 6 centimeters at this point and I couldn't believe the sensations pulsing through my body. I had wanted to wait for an epidural but I knew then that I needed it asap. I was able to miraculously sit still and felt the numbing cold take over. It was amazing. The next few hours were spent hanging out and getting to know the doulas. The nurse told me that my contractions were off the charts. Apparently they were lasting for two minutes and were shaped like a plateau instead of a gentle curve. My midwives were great and everyone was very encouraging and happy with my progress. I was almost fully dilated and we decided to burst my waters.
I was excited. There was A LOT of amniotic fluid. Unfortunately it was brown which indicated that baby had passed meconium which, given how over due I was, wasn't out of the ordinary. It also meant that NICU staff would be present for the delivery once the time came. I was finally ready to start pushing. Minutes turned into hours. My baby's head was through my cervix but she seemed stuck. 4 hours went by with no progress so we made the difficult decision to have a C section. It would be another 2 hours before an OR would open up so I just had to wait. By this point the epidural was wearing off and I was having break through contractions but I couldn't do anything with them because we knew the baby wasn't coming any other way.
This is where things really go south so stop reading if you need to <3.
Once I'm finally in the OR it's like 4AM. I'm strapped and straddled on the operating table and I can't stop shaking. It was terrifying. My partner is there with me but all I remember is fear. I also remember double checking with my nurse that NICU staff was in the room. The surgeons then test to see that I've had enough anesthesia which I hadn't so they had to give me fentanyl so things could get a move on. Eventually I felt no pain, just the movement of the procedure. I was laying there waiting to hear my baby's cries and to finally have her on my chest. I felt a lot of movement in my abdomen and I remember asking "Is that the baby? Is she dancing?" and the anesthesiologist said "No they're delivering your placenta and performing a fundal massage to prevent hemorrhage." This is when I knew something was really wrong. Those are the things they do after the baby's been born but I didn't hear my baby nor did I see her. I begin asking what's going on, I ask my partner if he can see her. He can't. All he can see is a lot of movement from different doctors. They finally tell us that she needs to be admitted to the NICU. I ask to at least see her and she's wheeled by me in a bassinet already swaddled and en route. We found out much later (when we were ready to hear what happened) that when she was born she had aspirated a lot of meconium and wasn't breathing. Her APGAR score was a 3. She was immediately intubated and it took around 10 minutes to resuscitate her (miraculously she didn't suffer brain damage).
Afterwards we were taken into a recovery room. We had been awake for over 24 hours at this point and were exhausted, devastated, and confused. We didn't know what happened and were waiting for news while I had to endure more fundal massages. A NICU doctor came to my bedside to inform us that they suspected she has having seizures, was at high risk of a blood infection, and may have some kind of genetic issue. We were in hysterics. Just totally beside ourselves. The nurses that had been with us came to say goodbye with tears in their eyes. They knew we had been traumatized and I think they may have been too.
They told us they were waiting for a postpartum room near the NICU to open up so we were just waiting. At this point, my baby was still very abstract to me. I was much more concerned about my very exhausted partner who had witnessed all of the trauma that happened. And was still carrying all of our stupid bags that I had packed. I sent him to the NICU to go see the baby. She was on oxygen and in an incubator. Her face was swollen from being stuck in the birth canal for 6 hours. I got to see her a few hours later but I could only touch her cheek. As I was leaving she was being hooked up to an EEG to check for seizures. We finally, after many hours, were moved into our postpartum room where I insisted we both take a nap before returning to the NICU. By this point we had delivered the news to our friends and families and let people know to please not reach out. It's hard to communicate the complexity of feelings we had. It was so devastating yet he and I felt so bonded together. Nothing else mattered but the three of us.
I'm told the weather was beautiful that day. I hadn't even considered a world existed outside of us. I didn't remember an outside until days had gone by. He pushed me in my wheelchair to get some food one morning and I saw the sun. I didn't remember there was a sun or that other people were just going about their days.
While LO was in the NICU she had every test under the sun and all of them kept coming back favorably. She wasn't having seizures, her brain looked great, her heart looked great, etc. Except there was still a question of a possible genetic issue but no one knew for sure. Her eyes were bulging but it could have been because of birth trauma or she just sort of looked like that. It wasn't until she had her hearing test that something went wrong again. I found solace in knowing failed hearing tests are pretty common and we'd just have to wait to meet with an audiologist for confirmation. During our stay I became a breast pumping machine. It was the only thing I could do on my own to help. I was immobilized from the C section and I felt so very hopeless that pumping was the one thing that gave me some satisfaction. LO had a significant tongue tie so latching proved impossible. My partner bonded with the baby immediately - he did the bulk of her care while in the NICU. For me, however, it took time. It's hard to admit but if I'm being honest it took me a few weeks to really fall in love and bond with her. I think part of it was the delivery and because I wasn't physically able to do the bulk of her care in the NICU. Also, I was in a grieving period. I was grieving the labor experience I hoped for and I was grieving the child I thought I was going to have.
After 5 incredibly long yet miraculous days we were both discharged together. We had a long list of follow up appointments but we didn't care. We were going home and it was a beautiful day. We laugh/cried the whole way home.
Close friends and both of our parents were there when we arrived home with an overwhelming amount of food. We were grateful. But also, hearing the excitement from others was really difficult for a long time. It took awhile for us to appreciate being congratulated. It felt like a stab every time.
That first week we had a number of doctors appointments. When she went to get her tongue tie snipped, her ENT discovered that she didn't have ear canals. Her external ear was fully formed but her middle ear was a closed pit. There were a lot of tears that day. It was the first time something was decidedly "wrong" and it was the first time there was a strong hint towards a genetic issue.
I don't remember the sequence of events and diagnoses - it was an emotional whirlwind. We learned that she has two chromosomal deletions of which the symptoms and severity vary greatly and we won't know the full extent of her disabilities for years. She does have conductive hearing loss (though I generally say she's deaf because its true and its a little easier to explain) and will be receiving a bone anchored hearing aid (BAHA). We're also invested in learning ASL so that she will have access to both spoken and signed language. She has strabismus (lazy eye) and ptosis (droopy eye) as well as craniosynostosis. She will be undergoing intense skull surgery later this year. Despite all of this she is thriving.
During the early weeks of postpartum I was not well. My partner had no time off and my family, while good intentioned, didn't really know how to talk about or meaningfully support a special needs child. It became clear that I needed some medical intervention so I enrolled in intensive therapy and began taking SSRIs. It may have saved our lives. I was not well and I knew it. I was struggling to bond and I was so devastated by her health outlook on top of all the normal lack of sleep, breast pumping stress, and lack of familial support that I needed to actively make a change. I did and I'm glad for it. I'm in a much better place now!
The love and joy I feel towards my child is unbelievable. People say that children bring joy to your life and it's really true. I love her with my whole heart. I am and will probably always be saddened by some of the trials she will be forced to endure in this world - her life will not be easy. But I am so committed to being at her side every step of the way. I love her totally and completely. Its hard to explain in words the depth of love I have for her. She's not what we imagined but no child ever is. Prior to her being born we always said we'd love and support her no matter who she became and that remains the case.

One of the national myths of Canada is that its soldiers in the first world war were specifically feared and/or respected by their German counterparts. In other words, Canadians were distinguished from other soldiers in the British Empire and seen as "stormtroopers."
While this question is asked a fair bit on this subreddit, I have never seen a good answer to it. I asked the question a few months ago and AnCanadianHistorian gave me a good lead which I followed up on. As set out in more detail below, I still do not have an answer to the question but some more context.
On the "yes" side, enygma9753 has two sources - The National Post (a Canadian right-of-centre newspaper) and the Canadian Encyclopedia. In fairness, the Post article cribs liberally from Tim Cook (the historian, not the CEO). Cook has made some points that support this thesis:
Cook cites an interview with a soldier from PEI: "The Germans call us the white Ghurkha," boasted Clifford Rogers, later a recipient of the Military Medal.
Cook, in discussing the poet Robert Graves' memoir states: Were the Canadians more likely to execute soldiers on the battlefield than other soldiers? Robert Graves thought so, but that reputation for fierceness was, as he rightly noted, also part of the Canadian reputation as shock troops. The Germans, too, believed the Canadians were less likely to take prisoners.
Cook states, without citation: When serving opposite the Canadians, the Germans were cautious and wary of these elite troops, but the capture of Canadian prisoners sometimes led to assaults or executions.
While this is not nothing, the plural of anecdote is not data. Rogers may be exaggerating or misremembering - or perhaps he's recounting one specific German soldier who was not indicative. Similarly, Graves may have distinguished Canadians from other Imperial soldiers and believed them to be "shock troopers" - but that doesn't necessarily mean that this was a belief on the German side.
Finally, the last statement does not have a citation - so how much weight it is given is dependent on the credence you give Cook as a historian.
Cook, Tim. "The Politics of Surrender: Canadian Soldiers and the Killing of Prisoners in the Great War". The Journal of Military History, vol. 70, no. 3 (Jul., 2006), p. 651
Similarly, TheWellSpokenMan ‘s FAQ answer has a general statement about “the Canadians and the Australians earned a reputation as shock troops” and also relies on Tim Cook.
On the "no" side, Superplaner notes that the commission the German High Command established concluded "nothing at all about the fighting qualities of the Canadian Corps". He/she also notes that to the extent the Germans were keeping track of the Canadians it was because they fought as a cohesive unit.
Superplaner has commented frequently on this matter but, respectfully, it appears that most of his/her post on this appeals to his/her own authority. To the extent that you can point to something in a source that states something, it doesn't really matter who you are - the source can be debated on its own merits. But if your claim is "I have reviewed this area and found nothing", your actual credentials are important.
Of course, it is important to note that while I've read a few of Superplaner's comments on this matter, I have not read all of them - so it is very possible that there is a post that addresses my issues above.
As noted, AnCanadianHistorian recommended that I review Germany's Western Front: 1914, the official German history of the war – the first two volumes of which have been translated into English. His/her view was “Like Superplaner suggests, the official German military did not really think about Canadians as Canadians, but rather as British soldiers.”
Aside from a mention to “the French and the Canadians” offering “stubborn resistance” during a battle, there is nothing much one way or the other specifically commenting on Canadians qua Canadians (although as AnCanadianHistorian/ Superplaner suggest that in itself much be indicative).
During this trip to my local reference library to review Germany's Western Front: 1914, I was able to review Christopher Duffy’s “Through German Eyes: The British and the Somme 1916” which was quite helpful. His book, Duffy states, “is not, directly, the story of the Germans on the Somme. Its purpose is to set out the German view of, and interest in, the British performance and mentality as they were experienced in the course of that long struggle. The evidence is both copious and unfamiliar, and is to be found in official papers, histories, memoirs and letters, and most revealingly of all in the results of the interrogation of British prisoners of war.”
Contra the suggestion that Canadians were not distinguished from the British, the Germans actually distinguished between British, Canadian, Australian, New Zealand and South African soldiers (for example, the Germans noted that “The Australian officers are inferior in every respect to the British.”).
Duffy provides the following quote with respect to Canadians:

it is difficult to define the Canadians as such. From what they know of our prisoners, the French Canadians have taken little or no part in the war. Otherwise the various British races as represented among the Canadian prisoners are fundamentally very similar to the British in the homeland, the only difference being that the blinkered mental uniformity of the British has been moderated by the wide open spaces of Canada, which allow more of the natural man to appear.

He also provided the following quote from a German soldier who clearly distinguished Canadians but as a sub-category of “Tommies” (i.e. Brits):

Some minutes passed before the Tommies broke into our position, not indeed by a proper assault, but by pushing one another forward. They trod on our dead and wounded. They were reeking of alcohol, and offered our men whisky and ciga-rettes, apparently glad to have been spared having to make a bayonet attack. They asked if we had any more men in our trench, because they had come under heavy fire from there. They lifted the tent canvases from the funk-holes and saw - dead and wounded. They told us that they were Canadians, old friends from the fighting in Flanders. That made sense!

Finally, Duffy mentioned that intelligence branch of the supreme command (OHL) had, on 26 August 1916, assessed the combat-worthiness of the divisions that the British might be able to bring against the First Army (emphasis added):

Good: 47th [Territorial], 6th [Regular], 20th [New Armyl, 50th [Territorial], 18th [New Army], 1st Canadian, 2nd Canadian
Medium: 11th [New Army], 39th [New Army], 41st [New Army], 3rd Canadian, New Zealand
Poor: 61st [New Army], 40th [New Armyl, 60th [New Armyl, 63rd [Royal Naval], 3rd and 5th Australian, 4th Canadian.'

He noted:

These categories were not intended to indicate absolute worth, but the effectiveness of the formations at a given time, as influenced by permutations of training, freshness, experience and battle losses.

Ultimately, the Duffy text is not conclusive, but it does show that there were views and assessments of Canadians-as-Canadians (even though sometimes this was as a special category of "Tommies").

Minecraft: You're either a 15-year-old halfway-closeted zoomer or an openly trans 30-year-old computer programmer. Either way, you have highly advanced technical knowledge of obscure Minecraft mods and routinely spend dozens of hours building elaborate contraptions to grind for resources marginally more efficiently. You've been sad ever since your favorite trans-centric Minecraft server with around 2 active users imploded due to internal drama, and - if transfemme - are statistically proven to be responsible for at least 75% of "skirt go spinny" and programming sock memes on traa.
Celeste: To you, every conversation is an opportunity to recommend Celeste. No discussion of platformers, video games in general, trans people, mental health, or mountain-climbing is complete without at least one reference to Celeste. You have at least one houseplant, and you're still struggling with your mental health - but are steadily getting better, and enjoy helping others who are less well-off than you. Someday, you wish to see an actual mountain in real life.
Fallout New Vegas: You've spent countless hours reading through obscure video game lore and arguing with edgelords on internet forums over whether or not a fascist Roman-empire cosplayer would be bad, actually, and even more hours finding obscure mods to add to your already-bloated game. You have Hbomberguy's video essay "Fallout: New Vegas is Genius, and Here's Why" playing on loop 24/7, and your NCR flag hangs proudly unironed next to your trans flag, lesbian flag, and leftist ideology flag.
Stardew Valley: You're a generally chill and relaxed person, although you're incredibly passionate about memorizing and cross-referencing extensive charts of item drops and gifts for you favorite characters. Sometimes, you feel the urge to start a real-life gay farming commune with your online polycule, before remembering all of them live several hundred miles away from you and none of you know how to farm.
Fallen London/Sunless Sea/Sunless Skies: You generally spend far too much time on elaborate worldbuilding, character backstories, and sick lines of prose for various tabletop role-playing games; despite this, you don't actually have much experience in ttrpgs, and you're much too anxious to talk to strangers and find a party in real life (you've been searching for a play-by-post group online, to no avail.) You have a rather unique fashion sense, and like to imagine yourself as a Victorian academic-stroke-bohemian from time to time.
VNs: You utilize gay romance-centric visual novels to distract from your feelings of loneliness and apathy and temporarily fill the void in your heart. Unlocking cute new CGs never fails to make you "d'aww", until the realization sets in that you're still lonely and you'll never have what the protagonist has. Despite being extremely socially awkward, you've picked up on the art of choosing the best dialogue option in-game (although you always select the others too, for the sake of completionism.) You're extremely indecisive, and regularly wish you had access to a real dialogue-select menu and save system when communicating and making decisions.
Map Games: You were an obnoxious pseudo-intellectual conservative in your youth before you rapidly pivoted to obscure far-left ideologies over the course of your transition. You're a firm believer in fully automated luxury gay space communism, and will spend days planning and perfecting every detail of your custom space empires and colonies before giving up on them after around half an hour of actual play. You spend much of your time utilizing your surface-level understanding of history, politics, cartography, and vexillology debating people on Reddit over HOI4 mods. Secretly, you wish you had a less time-consuming and more fun hobby, but it's a habit for you now and you're too depressed to change.
Indie Art Games: You have a tendency to read far too much into things, and have incredibly elaborate daydreams that you can never quite seem to put to paper whenever you try creating art. Most of your favorite games are decades-old, and nobody outside of niche internet fan communities and video essay enthusiasts have heard of them. You will defend to the death the theory that Madotsuki from Yume Nikki is trans, and enjoy the psychological nature and social commentary of horror - but most definitely not the jumpscares. You've considered starting a video essay channel yourself, but ultimately concluded that cementing your personal interpretation of a work into the public consciousness would erase alternate perspectives of that same work.
/uj i know ultrakill and hollow knight are also stereotypical trans games but i'm not familiar with them at all, feel free to add in comments. i died like 200 times in the free demo for ultrakill im not adding that shit

It's awful that Anakin was raised a slave, had to leave his mother, had his fears for his mother minimized and then watched her die. It's awful that the Galactic Republic didn't do more to stamp out slavery (hmmm, maybe he should have talked to a certain Chancellor "friend" about that when he got older).
And I have to give a shout out to TCW for fleshing out Anakin's character enough that I actually like him up to RotS.
But Anakin's downfall is his own doing.
Don't like that being in the Jedi Order means you have to keep your marriage secret? Not getting the emotional support you need to move on from your mother's tragic death? Leave the Order. The Jedi won't harm you. They can't take the Force from you. You already have a very well-to-do wife so it's not like you'll be cut off with no resources or support. And there's no indication your Jedi friends will stop talking to you unless you don't want to talk to them.
There's absolutely no justifiable reason for you to join the Sith Lord that has been plotting against the Republic (Anakin might not have known the full extent of Palpatine's manipulations at that point but the fact that Palpatine was obviously grasping for power should have been enough of a red flag), attack your wife, go on a killing spree, and commit countless atrocities over the next 2 decades.

Hey everyone! Back with another funky homebrew to share with y'all.
This one is a sort of 4 colour (WURG) legends shell built around an infinite combo which allows you to create as many 2/2 cats with haste as you need to attack and kill the opponent in one go.
Here's a screenshot of the decklist in MTGA: https://i.imgur.com/63h7knG.png
Here's a link to the deck on Moxfield (incl Arena export): https://www.moxfield.com/decks/nwypMDOkT0mB8M9STEIlaw
And here's a video explaining the deck & some games with it on the mythic ranked ladder: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rjnXL32sYXk
So the core of the deck is built around the interaction between [[Atsushi, the Blazing Sky]], [[Jinnie Fay, Jetmir's Second]], [[Blade of Shared Souls]] and [[Kemba, Kha Enduring]].
The infinite loop then goes like this:

1. Have the 3 creatures in play
   
2. Cast Blade of Shared Souls, target the Atsushi to make a copy of it
   
3. The copy of Atsushi dies because of the legends rule
   
4. Choose the 'creature three treasure tokens' mode on its death trigger
   
5. Use Jinnie Fay's ability to make the treasure tokens instead be three 2/2 cats with haste
   
6. Use Kemba's ability to re-attach the blade to one of the three cats
   
7. Make that cat become a copy of the Atsushi which then dies due to the legends rule
   
8. Repeat 4-7 as many times as you need to have enough cats for lethal
   
9. ATTACK
   

It's pretty hilarious when you actually combo off, although it's not that easy considering it's a 4 card combo and 3 of 4 are creatures so vulnerable to removal. To help with that, the deck also runs 4 copies each of [[Skrelv, Defector Mite]] and [[Melira, the Living Cure]] as they help protect your creatures.
On top of that, I'm running 4 copies of [[Fauna Shaman]] whose ability lets you discard a creature card in hand and tutor up another one. So that helps you dig for any of the 3 creatures you might still need to get into the combo.
I also run 4 copies of [[Thalia, Guardian of Thraben]] because the only noncreature spell in the deck is the Blade of Shared Souls and it's not too much of a bummer if that ends up costing 4 mana instead of 3.
The final card in the deck is a super crucial one, as it is often the card which helps you win in the games when you don't get into the infinite loop. That card is [[Gala Greeters]] and although it's not too amazing on its own, it synergises reeeally well with Jinnie Fay as the 2nd mode on Gala Greeters can create a treasure token whenever another creature enters the battlefield under our control, but Jinnie Fay can make that instead be a 2/2 cat or a 3/1 dog. Then that cat or dog entering the battlefield triggers Gala Greeters ability AGAIN and you can choose one of the other modes too.
So if you play the Greeters on turn two then follow up with a Jinnie Fay, you immediately get a 2/2 cat or 3/1 dog "for free" plus you can still either pump the Greeters or gain some life. This helps you create a really wide board really quickly, and all the lifegain helps a lot with surviving against aggro decks like mono red. If they don't deal with either immediately then you often just end up with too many blockers for them to get past plus gain too much life for them to burn you out.
Overall, the deck isn't quite on the level of the meta decks but it can actually hold its own on the ranked ladder decently. The fact you have so many must-remove creatures (Thalia, Greeters, Jinnie Fay) but also protection for them (Skrlev & Melira) means that it's difficult for the opponent to kill everything, meaning they often run out of removal while you still have enough creatures on board to get some of the synergies going (or at least to survive long enough until you can combo off).
So that's the deck, I wouldn't recommend crafting it if you're looking for a deck that can help you win as much as possible on the ladder, but if you're looking for something a bit different and fun I can definitely recommend. For some reason the idea of beating the opponent to death with infinitely many cats is just hilarious to me, maybe it is to you too?!?

Forgive me, I am going to rant and scream into the void while I deal with my guilt and frustration. I don't care if this gets taken down, burned or deleted. I NEED TO RANT AND SHOUT. I know I am a bootyhole for exploding. But her behavior lately made me lash out and I am not proud of it. I just need to get this out and I want her to see just how ducked up she is.
No she will never find this because 1. She hates reddit cuz it's all "Fake". 2. She doesn't like social media drama posts or readings - whatever people who read reddit drammas are called. Redditoperas!
This is the only Reddit thing I like and have ever joint or posted to.
Alright. Deep breath.
I Susan (29F) have a cousin Georgette (27F all names are changed) and I absolutely love her, she is practically my little sister, we grew up together and we literally live in the same area (I can walk to her apartment complex by walking through a shared public park) and we interact with eachother constantly. And she emotionally Dumps on me. CONSTNTLY.
She is the female embodiment of lost potential, entitled and lazy spoilt brat. She is smart but so very dumb and lazy. Now mind you she wasn't always like this. In fact when we were in highschool she was the complete opposite. Hardworking, determined, popular with people. It feels as if she peaked did a 180 and then came crashing down the second she turned 21 and had to deal with the real adult world.
This saturday while we were doing our usual dinner and fun night with our friend group which includes my husband Dansen (30M), my cousins Georgette and her older bother Jerry (32M), and two other dudes Kramer (30M) and Elliot (30M) (6 in total).
We all grew up together, went to the same schools and such and funny enough we all still live in the same neighborhood/area but in different appartment complexes and townhomes. That night we were at my Townhome. The men in our group were watching Seinfeld (this is important) and eating pizza, while Georgette and I got into the conversation of her weekly woes. She was complaining loudly and kept interrupting everytime I tried to speak.
Now mind you I am not a patient person, however with Georgette I usually bottle my opinions on her woes and keep my mouth shut, because 1. I don't want to offend her and 2. She is family. I'm not her mom to be telling her what to do, I know.
Despite the rant coming up, she is family, we've been through thick and thin, and I know I'm an arse for blowing up at her and ranting about her life. But something about this week, the stress, her attitude and I-don't-know-what-else-made-me-blow-up. Maybe I was overstimulated because it was loud and I was tired, maybe I just needed to unload on something, I don't know but this is what happened.
In the middle of Goergette complaining about how people look down on her, "the poor nerd" and "The little guy", her parents, her relationships, I snapped. It felt like a tea kettle building up steam until it shouts. So of course I shouted "Will you just Shut up?! I don't want to hear you complaining about your life right now, literally all the problems in your life are your own damn fault! You are just an incompetent loser of a child who thinks the world owes her something because "reasons!" First of all - "
I basically pointed out, complaint by complaint in a rant on how everything is her own fault. Forgive the paragraph of word vomit. The points here are her complaints and my thoughts on the matter, the things in parenthesis are things that I shouted in the middle of my ranting. Yes it was recorded. No I'm not sharing. I'm just writing what I said and screaming into a void.

1. She is sad and lonely because she's single after a 2 year relationship and she misses her ex, terribly. (First of all, that is YOUR fault. GIRL you literally broke up with your boyfriend because YOU, yes, YOU wanted to save face. Becase YOU are so insecure you thought his own sister was a random girl who was trying to "steal" him away from you. That "Oh he likes that ugly girl who is prettier than me, look at the way he hugs her" and "who does he think he is" and that he "looks down on me cuz I'm short and brown". He doesn't by the way, he was willing to stay with you despite all your faults, he genuinly liked you and you dumped him because you cant stand being wrong, but noooooo "he's so booooring. commitment is so boooring, i can't do anything wah wah. You kept being weird with your sister!" and now all of a sudden 2 weeks after breaking up, now that hes gone he's suuuuddenly the "lOvE oF mY LiFe" and the "oNe tHaT gOt aWay! I mEssEd Up sO bAd!! WAH!" baby girl, whose fault is that? You left him! That was your own Damn Fault!! Who the hell wants to date a girl let alone be in a relationship with someone that dumb?)
2. How no men will date her and how all men are trash. ( No one wants you because you are trash! Your attitude is trash! Your personality is trash! Men can't handle me because "I'm a 10", girl you aint a 10. You are an arrogant insecure egotistical maniac who thinks shes a 10 when in reality you're a 3 at best - You literally complain that no one wants you when you literally lie and shoot yourself in the foot. "It's because I'm a nerd!" No, it's because you are an ass, "If they don't like me at my best" is bull crap. They should love me for me, is bull crap, you are all the reasons why no one wants you and you always give way less than the other persons best. You are never at your best, your best is the worst possible thing. You complain to your partner "I'm extroverted I need attention and sunlight" but then when they want to take you out you whine that you wanna stay home and order take out. What the hell is your idea of a good time? Eating nachos in your underwear while watching Bridgerton? Whining about how other people are fake for posting their vacations on facebook? You want people to see that you are "successful" online but then bitch when people know that you are a actually a shut in with bad money. You tell people you are a teacher with a princeton diploma to impress them and then whenthat bites you in the ass, you are too embarrased to admit you are an in debt college dr out part time worker influencer wannabe who still lives with her Mommy and Daddy. So then you start blame to make yourself feel better. You feel entitled to everything because you blame everything. Blame, blame, blame. I can start a whole communist party parade with all the red flags you have. It's not like your the problem, it's not like you make your own problems, you are absolutely perfect and fine just the way you are! The world owes you something because you are Georgette Middlename NolastName. The perfect princess! You're not. You're just a spoilt brat who gets a scott free ride because your parents are too afraid to admit they are failures who didn't raise you right. You don't deserve the amount of praise people give you.)
3. How she can't lose weight even though she is "trying". No she is not trying, she weighs 375lbs and is gaining more weight. (Whos god damn fault is thaAAAAAAAAAT?? Not that there is anything wrong with being plus sized or overweight - Shit who am I to talk, I'm plus sized. Although my BMI - Which has been proven to be BS by the way says I'm "obese" I still make an effort to be healthy! I dont care if people think I'm fat, I like my size and my body. So does my husband. At least I'm not pretending to lose weight and be healthy while shoving a chocolate cake shake in my mouth! There is a huge difference between being body positive or health concious vs someone constantly saying "I'm going to acheive this goal" without actually taking any steps to acheive that goal and making the situation worse. It's like an alcoholic saying "I'm trying to quit drinking" while they are downing tequila shots. No - Girl you aint trying. Not even close. You've been paying for an LA Fitness gym membership for over a year and you never go because you are too tired, you want to play games or do a make up totorial that you never going to post. Working out makes you sweaty and uncomfortable and doesn't " actually help you lose weight, it's all in the food". COME ON. You don't even try to eat healthy because healthy food tastes yucky and you only like good tasting things like Burgerking. Really? You pay for a food subcription that you dont eat because it's too salty, too spicy or it doesn't taste good and then buy fastfood and then complain that you don't lose weight and how your stomach hurts? GEE I wonder WHY?! YOu have Gastrointeritis and you're eating BURGERKING???)
4. How she complains she has a dead end job and how she almost got fired for sleeping at her desk and how her boss is a jerk for daring to ask her to do her job ( Well DUH, IT'S YOUR JOB! How have you not been fired yet? Your Boss caught you sleeping on the JOB! It's bad enough you dont even do it well, you say it's dead end because you are too lazy to do anything else or put in an effort. You didn't even get that job yourself dude, I got you that job as a favor to your Mom. "Oh Susie, please get a spot at your job she needs it!" Sheesh! You didn't even have to do an interview, how does that even work? It's insane that I moved on and you've been doing the same Job stupid job for 5 freaking years. You went to college and flunked out because "I want to be an entrepreneur influencer" or whatever but havent done anything productive in ALL that time. You work as a Printer and mailroom lady at a public school PART TIME. It is NOT that hard! you literally spend hours on your phone and watch netflix all day! YOU GET PAID TO SIT ON YOUR BUTT! AND YOU'RE COMPLAINING?! What is wrong with you? You literally get the summer off and you call in sick for the stupidest reasons! You literally have time to get platnum on overwatch but cant take classes or get a certificate to get a better job because it's too hard, you're tire and you have no time? Really? Maybe if you didn't play Leage until 3 in the god damn morning you wouldn't be so tired all day and appreciate how spoiled, privalaged and ungreatful you are! I would kill to have the amount of support and time you have!).
5. How she doesn't have money. ( YOU complain that you dont have the money to do any fun stuff, fix your car and pay "rent" which you never pay because NEWSFLASH you live with your mom. BUT you spend 300 dollars to do your NAILS and you're broke? You are constantly buying 50 dollar "brand name " make up and clothes for your failing influencer streams and posts, "I'm soooooo broke!!!" You buy 20 dollar character skins on Overwatch for characters you dont even play. You spend 250 a week on take out and because even though you know how to cook and pay for a food subcription, all that food tastes yucky or you don't want to use your moms kitchen cuz she complains when you dont clean up. And you have the audacity to complain? To ask me to buy you stuff and spot you? Like seriously? Aren't you "saving" to move out? You contstantly tell us and brag about how you're moving out and going to be a successful small business owner, but then you spend a bajillion on stupid shit. I know you're getting that money from somewhere and you are in debt. But hot cock on a rock, you are financially and literally irresponsible and you can't see it because either you are an idiot or you know it and think it will just go away. It wont.)
6. How the button on her shorts broke and how dumb it is that she spent so much money on a "BRAND" name item only for the button to break because it is cheaply made. (BRUH YOU BOUGHT IT OFF SHEIN!!! That crap aint Chanel! That stuff isn't Gucci or some other stupid bougee brand! No wonder it sucks and comes apart after two washes! The only reason you bought it is because some rando told you to buy it on TikTok and "iT wAs A DeAl!!" You get that crap a size too small and then are surprised when the seams rip! Gee! I wonder why miss "I'm working out!" )
7. How her Instagram/TikTok and Twitch have barely any views and her Influencer life style is not working out. (BRUH you don't post anything of value, it's a saturated market and when you do post, you don't make an effort to edit or even post or stream at a time that people are willing to watch you. you play obscure games that no one knows about or games that are overplayed by better streamers and influencers. You do make up tutorials, without actually knowing or researching explaining what you are doing or putting on your face. No wonder no one watches you. You obviously arent even trying. You are not going to go viral or make it up there if you are not willing to actually try to do something of value. People are not going to just watch you because you are a girl and have tits.)
8. Her parents being unsupportive. (Your Parents aren't supportive? HOW? you're 27 and living with your parents. Those two idiots love the absolute shit out of you and you don't even know it. You get free housing. They paid for your college and they paid for your car. You don't even pay utilities. They pay for your phone. How are they not supporting you? They even brag about how "our princess is an influencer" and act so proud when you can't keep any followers, keep a man, pass a class or get a decent job. How are they not supporting you?)
9. How she is the victim in life and she is so unlucky. This was the last complaint that made me snap and start this whole tirade. ( You are all the things that are wrong with you and you cause all the problems in your life. You are the girl who peaked in highschool and just thought the rest of the world would cater to you. I don't know how, but your ass is going to be handed to you one day and I'm not going to be there to help you. You have no one to blame but yourself. You are extremely lucky and you don't even know it. I'm sorry for yelling at you and saying all this shit but I am so tired of listening to you complain and act as if nothing in your life has ever been your fault. You are the problem. And I don't think I can handle being around you right now.)

Now before I continue, let me just say. I have nothing against Jason Alexander. Hes a great actor who is severely underrated but I absolutely hate his character from that show. From the whining to the tantrums and relationship problems. I despise George Constanza.
And Georgette is exactly like him and HOLY ITALIAN CANOLI. I can only take so much. In mannerisms, attitude, and sircumstance. She is the female George. Maybe that's why I blew up like that. Who knows. Anyway....
Then it happened.
This entire ordeal felt like watching a car crash -you know how everything will end up, but you cant do anything but watch as the disaster happens and either cringe or look in awe.
At the end of my rant, when the room is quiet and all you can hear is the TV and the sitcom laughter, my Cousin, Georgettes older brother Jerry -bless his stupid heart- suddenly started laughing and said that I was right about it all, Georgette created her own problems and always had an excuse FOR EVERYTHING, of course, we all start arguing. She gives more excuses. We argue some more. There is name calling. And we start taking sides, in the middle of our arguing Georgette screams, Loud and says... "NO NO! Its not my fault! I'm the victem here!! You're just being mean!! ... I'm getting upset!! AHHH!!!" while flailing her arms and stomping her feet like a toddler. And of course there was a pause.
In that second the mentioned character from the show, which was still playing on the TV, shouted loudly "George is getting upset!! AHHHHH!!!" que the bass playing.
Everyone lost it.
The boys of course all started laughing, I started laughing. Georgette not amused starts shouting how it's not funny. "I'm the victem here!" Starts crying and tells us all to "Go to hell." Then runs out the door, fumbles, trips, gets up and shuffles way towards the park and to her Parents apartment gesticulating and yelling the entire way.
I feel bad, but at the same time it feels good to have let all that out.
Even now I feel releif writing this out. I don't care. I'm so done with this life.
Her mom, Estelle, of couse called me and I let everything out on her too - In the end she got quiet and just hung up.
I feel like Quagmire at the end of his "why I don't like you Brian" speech. I said my peace. I know I'm an ass and I think I'm ok with not dealing with my cousin any more.
I don't think I've even cared about her.
I don't think I even want to see her right now. Or ever.
I love her. But do I actually love her or is it because she's always been here and shes family? Have I always been carrying this? I don't know. Maybe I want people to know how I really feel and am hoping this reaches her in some way as a cathartic fuck you. I don't know. I'll talk to a therapist about that on Monday.
Babydoll, if you see this. Get your Shit Together. I'm done. I don't regret doing this. I hope you get better and succeed. I really do. But I Love you and I hate you. I hate that you do nothing to improve yourself and I hate that I'm your Emotional Support Animal. I'm not responsible for you. And it's not my fault that you feel shitty. We may be family, but that doesn't give you the right to make me feel shitty and for your to invide my home with your constant complaining. I'm not a sith. I can't live with negativity and darkness for all my life. You need to be better. And I hope one day we both can be better. But for now. Good Bye.
I'm Done.
If you've made it this far or if this still exists by the time anyone gets to this paragraph, congratulations for letting me scream into the reddit void for 300 hours.
Peace.

My wife and I both have parents that we worry won't have enough to retire. If they don't, that means that we'll have to budget for extra expenses, reducing our contributions to our own retirement as well as our contributions to our kid's education fund. My parents are currently supporting my grandparents. My wife's parents are second-generation immigrants, splitting the responsibility with their siblings. It seems to be a self-perpetuating cycle. As the cost of housing, the cost of childcare, healthcare, and education increase disproportionately with the median salary, I have to wonder if there is a big problem coming.
I was about to search the internet, and when Google completed my search for me, I realized that my concern might be more prevalent than I thought. Here's what I typed in, and the suggestions by Google:
"will millen"

• will millenials be able to retire
• will millenials get social security
• will millenials ever be able to retire
• will millenials ever be able to buy a house
• will millenials retire
• will millenials have social security

I tried my work computer just to make sure it wasn't my prior search history, then my wife's computer, and sure enough, this seems to be a widespread concern. It just seems like we've divvied up all of the resources already, and every new generation is born into a world of debts to be paid.
My wife and I are having our first kid, and the due date is coming up, so I'm wondering if I'm having a bit of a crisis here.

Foreword by Siddhartha Mukherjee, so you know this is the real thing.
" In our unique genomes, every one of us carries the story of our species—births, deaths, disease, war, famine, migration, and a lot of sex. But those stories have always been locked away—until now. Who are our ancestors? Where did they come from? Geneticists have suddenly become historians, and the hard evidence in our DNA has blown the lid off what we thought we knew. Acclaimed science writer Adam Rutherford explains exactly how genomics is completely rewriting the human story—from 100,000 years ago to the present. "
https://www.amazon.com/Brief-History-Everyone-Ever-Lived-ebook/dp/B06XP9Z5TS/

Hello /fantasyhockey users,
We hope you're all enjoying the Stanley Cup Finals so far. (Boo Knights)
You’ve all probably become aware of Reddit’s announced plan to begin charging for API access. Such a change would most likely result in open-source Reddit modifications, including third-party apps, shutting down.
In other words, if you use any app other than Reddit's official app you will be forced to either switch to the inferior "official" app, use your phones internet browser, or forced to abandon Reddit on your phone altogether.
We know that many of our users rely on 3rd party apps, not to mention our blind users for whom the official Reddit app is not functional. In addition, many members of the mod team here also rely on third-party apps for managing the day-to-day operations.
Because of the impact this decision will have on the community as a whole, the /fantasyhockey moderators have decided to join other subreddits in a site-wide blackout. On Monday, June 12 /fantasyhockey will be made private. The subreddit will remain private at least through Thursday, June 15.
The next details have been adopted from /PCGaming, /wow and /squaredcircle communities. Thanks to those communities for the efforts they've made, and a special shout out to /fantasyfootball for discussing this directly with us.
Third-party Reddit apps (including Apollo, BaconReader, Reddit is Fun, and others) are going to become ludicrously more expensive for their developers to run, which will in turn either kill the apps or result in a monthly fee to the users if they choose to use one of those apps to browse. Put simply, each request to Reddit within these mobile apps will cost the developer money. The developers of Apollo were quoted around $2 million per month for the current rate of usage.
The only way for these apps to continue to be viable for the developer is if you (the user) pay a monthly fee, and realistically, this is most likely going to just outright kill them. Put simply: If you use a third-party app to browse Reddit, you will most likely no longer be able to do so, or be charged a monthly fee to keep it viable.
Some people with visual impairments have problems using the official mobile app, and the removal of third-party apps may significantly hinder their ability to browse Reddit in general. Many moderators are going to be significantly hindered from moderating their communities because third-party mobile apps provide mod tools that the official app doesn't support. This means longer wait times on post approvals, reports, modmails etc.
NSFW content is no longer going to be available in the API. This means that, even if 3rd party apps continue to survive, or even if you pay a fee to use a 3rd party app, you will not be able to access NSFW content on it. You will only be able to access it on the official Reddit app. Additionally, some service bots (such as video downloaders or maybe remindme bots) will not be able to access anything NSFW. In more major cases, it may become harder for moderators of NSFW subreddits to combat serious violations such as CSAM due to certain mod tools being restricted from accessing NSFW content.
Please feel free to share your thoughts on the decision and impact here.
Thank you,
/fantasyhockey moderators

I awoke in the darkest hour of the night, sweating and cold. I felt as though something had just left us there, or perhaps still remained. A cold fear crept along my clammy skin. I looked over to where my talking crow was asleep, nested on the pillows.
Detective Winters was snoring in his own bed. The open window was watching me until I looked up. Then the feeling was gone.
I laid back down. When I slept again I dreamed of the woman I had left behind in my home. It seemed so long ago. I wondered if she was still there. Somehow I knew she was. I suddenly couldn't stop thinking about her. I really didn't like her, yet my instincts told me to worry about her. So I did.
As dawn crept light across the twisted landscape outside the hotel window I thought of her. Then I got up and ate my sandwich out of the fridge and drank some water out of the sink. I left piece of it for Cory and went to brush my teeth.
Detective Winters woke up as his phone was ringing. He listened and said very little. I could tell he was talking to his boss.
"Ready to go?" He asked me as he laid back down.
"I am; are you?" I nodded at his prostration.
"Let's stay and eat." Cory suggested as he fed.
We all shuffled out of the hotel room to the car, Cory flitting from place to place and finally gliding to the car, boldly.
Three crows took the opportunity to scold him from the wire above. He avoided them and looked at me. He said:
"You should know your old home. Or sadness will prevail." Cory told me.
"I know." I took him with me into the car, hugging him gently to me.
"What is it?" Detective Winters asked me with consideration, looking in his rearview mirror at me.
"There is a woman I left behind in my home. I have started worrying about her." I told him the truth.
"I thought you were homeless." He handed me his phone.
"Are you?" I asked him. Sometimes I adopted Cory's mannerisms when dealing with people, not intentionally.
"Touche' Mr. Lord, touche'." Detective Winters went ahead and lit a jacked-up looking rolly: all bent and with bits of tobacco sticking out of it. He opened the car door a crack while we sat there. I dialed the number.
"Isidore?" I said her name when she picked up.
"Christ, Lord! I thought you were gone forever!" She exclaimed. She started saying a bunch of stuff about the house and bills before I said:
"I don't care about the house. I called for you." I said.
"I need you to come back. I can't do this on my own. I know you won't leave me, why are you gone?" Isidore started crying into the phone.
"Isidore, how can you say that? We barely know each other. I invited you in, I didn't think you would stay. That's why I left, because you wouldn't." I explained honestly. I had only just spent a few nights with her and we barely had more than a conversation before that. Then she had just decided she was in love with me and moved in. Not that she had anything to move, she had arrived with her toothbrush and pajamas. I'd thought it cute, until she stayed.
"I know you." Isidore sounded strange.
"Yeah, I know you too. It's not like that. What do you want from me?" I must have sounded different to her than I meant to, for she simply said:
"Just your love."
"I can't just love you." I claimed. I was lying. I fell in love with people all the time. I did actually care for her, I was just being very cowardly about it at the time.
"Then accept my love for you." She negotiated.
"Fine. Is that all? Are you okay?" I asked.
"I am not okay. I literally need you." Her voice was very quiet when she said this. I believed her, even though I did not want to.
"I have to go. I have work to do. I will call you..." I paused as Detective Winters made a gesture of walking fingers and a knock on a door. I hate charades. "I will come see you later."
Then I hung up as she said 'goodbye' and told me she loved me.
"Let's go. She's fine." I shrugged and restored his phone to his hand.
"Her name's Isidore?" Detective Winters chuckled. "That's like calling a girl Charlie. It's kinda cute, I guess."
"She doesn't need a cute name." I promised him.
He ignited the engine and drove us to the scene of murder. Beholding the darkness within the earth filled me with fear and dread. Detective Winters told me over and over that I was going with him into the darkness. I refused to go down there, panic sweeping me in strokes instead. I was suffocating on my own doubt of survival, anticipating such an adventure.
Cory was left behind as he dragged me by handcuff to his wrist into the dizzy and pale threshold. Then by mere candlelight we went amid the cackling specters of the dim. I closed my eyes to see, knowing it is the way in such a place.
I remembered the mirrored veins of the paths above this place. All of them followed the water and it rode the top of the stones. Therefore I knew my way, as surely as I knew the paths that had formed directly above, in the young forests amid the ruined heath. Without the sky, without my bird, without my sight, I was paralyzed by fear of the dark dwellers. There was only one way out and that was forward. In my paralysis I had no control over myself except to know I was fleeing in panic, unable to stop.
I looked down to find the handcuff was free and the light shone from the floor, spinning. With his thumb broken to free his hand, Detective Winters was laying there examining the injury.
"We have to leave." I hissed in terror. I hunched down.
"You ruined my thumb." He snarled back. His eyes rolled and he actually fainted where he lay. I took up the flashlight and used it to bath his body in light. There I left him and continued to escape the place he had brought me.
Upon the kill I stumbled, alone. There the chalk outline remained. Two children. Looked like they were dragged and discarded in a heap. The extension cords all went to one junction and split into the three lanterns that shone in that one room as day. I was in the heart of the labyrinth, I had escaped nothing. The handcuff hung freely and I looked at its shiny surface.
Reflected there in the polish of the cuffs I could see the shape of one of the dark dwellers. It was on the wall and ceiling behind me, watching me from the darkness. I turned and it skittered into a crack in the wall with lightning quickness, its many centipede legs making it look like the animation of a flipbook, its length rippling in the darkness.
I staggered back in mortal mystery. My eyes were wide and I choked on the breath I had exhaled, trying to scream in sheer terror. Then I closed my mouth on my tongue, knowing with reptile swiftness not to make a sound.
For they were all around me.
The ceilings and the corners of the floors and the corridors filled with their monstrous shape. They were more like spiders, or something I cannot even describe. Their movements in the darkness were so quick it was as though they were one shape and then the other as they flailed and flung themselves at blinking speeds through the shadows.
Without the light I would be torn apart as the two victims that were taken before we arrived. I could not breath, knowing I would die in the darkness. One of them put its dark spindly scythe of black chitin into the light for a split second and I saw the urticating hairs bristling, ready to impale me with a thousand needles just by touching me.
I lifted what I thought was a rock, to defend myself. I pulled it free from the edge of the corridor, from under some rags. As I held it up I found a better grip, shifting my fingers into its grooves. The creatures scattered. I was breathing heavily, still gripped by terror.
I had to escape back out of there and I somehow took a step out of the light back the way I had come. Or so I thought. I turned and turned again, feeling my way along with my left hand on the wall. My right hand held the object which now felt light for a stone. My panic had subsided and I had moved without thinking. I was lost in the darkness.
I felt my way along. I kept thinking I could hear the creatures. Then up ahead I saw the light. In the middle of the light stood a policeman, gesturing for me. I stopped and watched. It came closer, the eyes horrible and empty of life. Then as it escaped the light I saw it was merely an illusion. Somehow it could hide what it looked like, refusing to be seen in its entirety. The creature came for me and then I screamed.
It was a flash of scythe-like spider legs by the thousands and its many horrible eyes and its beak-like mandibles. It was coming for me out of the darkness, a silhouette against the lanterns beyond. I was screaming and curling away from it, about to be torn to pieces by it.
Resounding gunblasts flashed brightly and lit up its awfulness. The bullets tore into it, black ichor splashing where its flesh was. Then it fell over, twitching and curling and steaming. It quickly dissolved into a puddle of nightmares.
"What in Hell was that?" Detective Winters was shaking violently and still aiming his gun, even though he had emptied it.
"How should I know, Detective? This is your crime scene." I complained. I was shivering and sweating and knew there were more. "There are more of those things."
"My Lord, are you alive?" Cory called into the hole.
"It's your crow." Detective Winters sighed in awe.
"I know that. How did he get out of your car?" I wondered, distractedly.
"I left my window down, I think." Detective Winters realized; his own mind easily choosing to think of something else.
"You think, or you know?" I demanded, severely stressed. I accepted the flashlight and trembling, he removed my handcuff without reason, while I was holding the light. I tried to hand it back and he gestured for me to wait a second by holding up one finger. He looked at my freed hand without realizing what I was holding.
"Jesus, I just 'think', okay? Sorry." Detective Winters reloaded his weapon and grimaced. It looked very difficult with his ruined thumb.
"My Lord, are you alive?" Cory asked a second time.
That is when we all heard them. I heard them and Detective Winters heard them and Cory heard them. Their voices froze my blood. The damned things were speaking! The penultimate horror I felt was a sweeping and cold knowledge of them. That they could speak and had their own language was fearsome in its perversion. Nothing like that should exist and to give it intelligence was the work of a mad creator. Their language challenged Man's place in Creation, putting something so blasphemous in place of the Will of Man. Such a horror could break my mind with every syllable that they uttered with inhuman mouths. They did not only speak their chittering abomination, for some of them whispered plain English from the darkness as well:
"This is the home. This is the darkness. It belongs rightly. All the food. The flesh is food. This belongs, too, the flesh, the food." They spoke in a unified and horrifying whisper.
"My Lord, you should come out of there. The Folk of the Shaded Places will kill you for trespassing. Then they will eat you." Cory called to me from above.
"I got that!" I shouted back and the sound of my voice stirred the one nearest to us.
"Time to go!" Detective Winters made me go first with the light.
We made our move and instantly it was as though the walls and ceiling had come alive. They were all around us, shifting rapidly, each taking the place of another to avoid the light and the gun. I shone it on them and they fled the beam. Likewise, Detective Winters let them have a taste of his firearm as he shot a bullet into each one that got too close.
Breathing rapidly and wide eyed we emerged to find the rest of the policemen had already departed. Only Detective Winters's car and Cory remained. I had expected some sort of rescue, as though getting out would mean safety. I looked at the object I held: it was a skull.
I turned back and stared into the darkness down there. Cory flitted to my shoulder and said into my ear:
"They will come right on out that hole and snatch you back in if you get too close."
"Thanks." I nodded, my mouth hanging open as I stood in waves of terror. Part of my mind had not escaped. I needed to go back down there and get it real quick. It would only take one second.
"Hang on." Detective Winters curled over and threw up a bunch of thick chunky bile onto a hapless banana slug. He reached down and used a leaf to flick it out of the vomit onto some nearby moss. "Sorry about that."
"Must go now." Cory advised in urgent repetition.
I went and got in the car and watched the horror hole with dreadful apprehension. I set the skull up front on the passenger seat. Then I tried to learn how to breath normally again. I noticed that Detective Winters's driver side window was actually down.
Eventually Detective Winters had managed to light the smoke he had kept behind his ear that entire time. It was sagging with sweat and he took a few unhappy puffs before he flicked it down into the hole. I prayed none of the Folk would come flailing out and entangle him, kicking and screaming, into the dark.
"We are lucky to be alive. If that really happened." Detective Winters decided we both had merely freaked out in the dark down there as we drove away. He held up his dislocated thumb and added: "We couldn't die."
"Death will always happen." Cory objected.
Detective Winters handed me his phone and I put in the address. Then the GPS guided him to my old house as the sun went down. When we pulled up she was waiting, her bags packed. She got into the car.
"I'm coming with you." Isidore told me and Detective Winters. "I won't stay here alone. Oh Lord, I've just got to say it. I just have to tell you."
"Well, not right now, maybe later." I looked out the window, away from her. In my mind I could still see the outline of those creatures. The horrible flash of their bodies. My heart pounded in anxiety, just thinking of them. I had always known of them, knew they existed. I had never, not even in my most dreaded nightmares, dreamed of meeting them.
"Your husband works with me. I am Detective Winters." Detective Winters introduced himself, again holding up his dislocated thumb. Isidore said nothing to him. She had her own ways.
"I am Cory." My crow spoke to her. She did not understand. She said:
"He is so cute!" Isidore told me. Then she wouldn't tolerate me looking away from her. She took my hand and placed it over her belly. I was very surprised to find that so much time had passed already, since I had left. I looked and she was glowing as we drove under dappled streetlights.
"Nine months." I realized.
"I have wanted to tell you for so long!" Isidore smiled.

A multi-level issue here and I don’t even know how to explain it all without a novel. I will TRY to keep it short. I just feel like I am getting zero wins, I leave work happy and come into a home that drags the joy out of me. I used to be a healthy balance of optimistic & realist, feet on the ground kind of guy. Now I find myself quick to anger, short bandwidth at work, and just all around more negative. I am at the end of my rope here and I am miserable. A man shouldn’t seek to be blissfully happy but he should seek to not be miserable.
I’m 36 (M), she’s 33 (F). Two SK’s 13 and 12. We have a beautiful son together who is incredible and perfect! But he and I are in a bad situation thanks to some poor decisions I’ve made. Or maybe I got duped I don’t know.
Met in Feb 2020, Married Nov 2021. I’ve always been picky and never met anyone good. She checked all the boxes. Aligned values, health, humor, she has hobbies, she had work ethic, wasn’t self obsessed, etc. She looked at me and listened to me like no one ever had. We’re both fit and she is gorgeous. It all felt right and great!
Didn’t meet her kids for 4 months, was weary about it but we felt like such a great match for each other that I wanted to try. The time spent with them of course was sparse since she usually came to spend time with me when they were at their bio dads. They were respectful and well behaved, very fun, when the time was spent. Anytime I went to their house it was spotless clean. Before we got married there were some red flags I chose to justify…she bit my head off a few times for stupid things. Kids were bad. Just some subtle clues. It’s hard to gauge the reality in those moments.
We get pregnant Feb 2022, planned. Things are still alright but this was the month some of the truth started coming out, honeymoon phase ends too soon. Kids become extremely messy, do the opposite of what their told, hyper desperate attempts for attention, interrupting, breaking things around the house, sneaking food not for them in their room, just suddenly all at once changing. This is BEFORE they found out we were pregnant (we waited 3 months to tell them which would be late April 2022). So I started worrying what was ahead but remained optimistic.
I make a very good amount of money, 7 figures some years. Which I never really brought up in a bragging manner, this wasn’t a sugar mama situation. I had a beautiful loft and nice things, but I don’t think any of them know the extent of the work I’ve accomplished. I own 2 e-commerce businesses and as of the last few years buy / sell commercial real estate. Her kids started asking for more and more things, demanding, expecting. Pitching fits when they don’t get them (I have to assume their dad is in their ear on some of this…). I bought us a beautiful home to live in…they weren’t living large when I met them.
Bio dad was invisible until March 2022 (she left him btw). The oldest brought us all these issues that were going on at her dads, which my wife reacted to by calling him and shouting (which seemed justified at the time). It started a complete war, he was constantly changing the rules and just creating chaos. Met a woman from Iraq who lived here for 20+ years but wanted to bring them to Iraq for their wedding. Ended up in court again. I PAID FOR IT ALL BECAUSE I WAS PRESSURED AND HAD NO CHOICE. She / we lost and they went to Iraq. They came back fine but all that damage was done. And then entire year of 2022, when it’s supposed to be a beautiful time of my first child, most days its 30-50% about the bio dad and all the conflict and chaos. That pure time was taken from me, from us. I don’t want to be selfish but I feel I am in last place.
TURNS OUT SD12 lied about everything that he was doing toxic or bad she got an iPhone on her bday and we read her texts where it all caved in. We confronted she admitted. Fast forward now we learned she is a compulsive liar and almost everything she says or does is a lie in effect. She is matching all the traits for antisocial personality disorder. She made up a SLEW of things about me (saying I screamed at her and verbally abuse her) to her dad and my mother in law. ALL untrue but it’s given me even more battles and riffs for my wife and I, her parents treat me differently now. Bio dad never mentioned it…I have to wonder if he knows it’s untrue and just rolls his eyes.
SD11 is a whole mess. I am not exaggerating the only things she speaks are bragging, whining, or being MEAN as hell…almost always interrupting and won’t stop talking even if she’s being fussed at for it. EVERYTHING she does is for attention even negative. She falls on purpose, she breaks things on purpose, she is ALWAYS sick, always coughing, she laughs overly hard at things that aren’t funny (no she’s not autistic). Even when you give her tons of attention for two weeks the well just gets deeper and then she needs MORE. It’s like a drug to her, completely untamable situation. She’s also very overweight, and knows how to get away with over eating. Yes it’s sad she’s doing it but I have no control so now I am venting on reddit about it. She eats very slow and gets 2nds 3rds 4ths over the course of 1.5 hours. She asks for dessert every night, the answer is NO, she asks again 5m later, NO, and the 3rd one another 5m later YES. If the answer continues to be no, she will wait until we’re asleep and sneak it upstairs. I have caught her in the act and told my wife, she blew it off. I counted her calories…she’s 4.5 feet tall and will regularly eat 3,500+ calories then whine all night about her stomach. She shits her pants at school, she does not have a medical condition we checked. Wife is aware and says “poor girl” because she’s very large but will only create solutions temporarily.
Bio dad is a pretty standard charismatic narcissist. Is nice, creates issues but acts like the other person is the irrational one, refuses to see his fault in the matter, doubles down, etc. He has no boundaries and knocked on our door and would walk in. I would have to tell him let’s go back outside. Eventually yelling at him and telling him to never do it again. One time during the Iraq chaos I come home to them yelling at each other in the yard and had to run up and tell everyone to shut up. Told my wife to go inside and followed her in. Then he left.
She then started a fight saying I should support her more, no one sees what she’s been through with him, etc etc. I felt like I was just a punching bag for her anger which is fine sometimes. She’d probably apologize later. I just nod and agree, wait some time then hug her…she says “I don’t know what the hell you’re doing…” then we don’t talk for 3 days. Completely stone walled. He says things to get under her skin, and gets the anger and reaction he wants (Narcissistic). When I tell her to approach it differently to get the result she wants, after some back and forth it ends in a fight. She says I don’t support her and I don’t understand what she’s been through and how hard it is.
I start bringing up issues about her kids, or the amount of time spent talking about their bio dad, in a calm and productive manner (I extensively researched how to positively communicate with an emotional wife, and either way was raised with good comm skills). Within minutes it’s “You don’t know shit about raising kids” and “You’re so mean and abusive”. As I try to de-escalate she finds anything and everything to latch onto that’s better…very standard crap like “OH so I’m derailing now…NO YOU’RE JUST NOT GETTING IT”.
No matter how big or how small the issue is, it turns into a massive blow out, she pulls out the most hurtful big guns she can think of. Issue is never resolved or communicated. I am stonewalled for 1 to 7 days. I never lose my cool and always think about the things I am going to say. It’s literally impossible to put my foot down calmly, irrationally, sweetly, anything. Because no matter what she plays mental gymnastics and as I am trying to de-escalate and get back on topic, while taking pretty hurtful blows, a door will be slammed and it’s all over. She finds a way to blame me and move on.
For the record I never bring up my money contribution to the matter, she quit work a few months before having our son, and hasn’t worked since. Which I prefer because she doesn’t have to and being a mom is a full time job and she has many side hustles on Etsy to keep her true to herself and centered (or so I think). This means I pay for A LOT of the SK’s stuff and with my situation the last 2 years I am really beginning to resent EVERYONE involved. I get no thanks, no appreciation. In fact during fights, despite never bringing up money, which has been a MASSIVE value adder for all of their lives, my wife tells me she doesn’t need any of it and it means nothing to her. WELL YOU ALL REALLY APPRECIATE THE SPOILS OF IT ALL. Even though I worked 12-14 hour days for 10 years to get where I am at, no handouts, it’s all devalued as a contribution to the marriage and written off. Sad.
After being stonewalled she will eventually hug me and say I don’t want to fight with you, I love you. And I will say me either, we don’t have to, I just want to work this out and we’ll be happier for it. I get either “I love you, I would never cause you problems or hurt you!” Or “I just want to enjoy our night / weekend whatever time it is together.” It’s never the right time. A lot of avoidance or kicking the can down the road. Then she is really sweet and great for 3-4 weeks, then it slowly goes back to biting my head off and getting a tone. I stay silent to keep the peace for a few weeks then I can’t take it anymore so I stand up for myself and stand my ground. Same thing happens over again.
Oh we went on a great lavish vacation early 2022, after the first one that was a nightmare…I was pressured into one more. And then I said no more for 3 years. Which turned into a massive MASSIVE fight with her telling me to move out at the end, then after a few days trying to act like that didn’t happen. Now I am being pressured into buying a new home since we outgrew ours.
So I am dealing with a marriage of very poor communication, AND I have the LEAST interesting kids ever (sorry but its true), they have zero skills, cannot have a conversation to save their life (all they do is ask me how my day was and when I answer with a sentence or more they just stare at me), no manners, no obedience, but they both act so sweet and cordial when I enter the home, and they immediately say sorry when we get onto them, but then they go right back to doing it. They lie, they fake things for attention, they can’t even walk behind us without bumping into us. Some of these things you’d expect from a 5 or 6 year old but now 10+. They are just really showing non pro-social behaviors and even seeing their friends leave them in the dust. And from the moment we had our son, I dislike them more...
My wife’s parenting style is a little reactive at times. She yells at them but doesn’t seem to understand root causes and how to go upstream to solve. She expects greatness but doesn’t know how to put in the time (their dad is a bigger issue). Her mom was really mean and toxic toward her growing up so with that it’s she really understand how to give and accept love or communicate calmly. Wife says all the time she doesn’t like the two girls, and how bad they are, and how hard she tries but no matter what they're awful. So she sees it. And when I try to make suggestions shes avoidant or it ends up in a fight. She’s an INCREDIBLE super mom to our son though. Which is great…
I realize this group is mostly women, and they will say her behavior is pre or post pregnancy. It’s not...there were watered down / held back situations that happened before all that. I even was considering leaving then we got pregnant. Yes it was planned but you can hold onto hope and have reality slapping you in the face at the same time.
Okay so it was a novel sorry. I am sad to think of leaving the marriage because we have an 8 month old who deserves better than this…I feel like I am putting in so much work into the marriage. I am reading books. I am in therapy myself which I have never done. I look at myself to see if I am the problem. I brought SO MUCH love and yes, financial value, to the relationship. I am getting none of that in return. She is keeping me on the line with temporary conditional love and wild sex that all gives me hope, I have always been above that but here I am. I feel like the root cause of my wife’s problems are solvable in time, but the step kids I dont know if I can do that any longer. It's just a tornado and theres been no growth. Thanks to those who read this much, I know it was chaotic.

WHAT IS HAPPENING?!?
A recent Reddit policy change threatens to kill many beloved third-party mobile apps, making a great many quality-of-life features not seen in the official mobile app permanently inaccessible to users.
On May 31, 2023, Reddit announced they were raising the price to make calls to their API from being free to a level that will kill every third party app on Reddit, from Apollo to Reddit is Fun to Narwhal to BaconReader.
Even if you're not a mobile user and don't use any of those apps, this is a step toward killing other ways of customizing Reddit, such as Reddit Enhancement Suite or the use of the old.reddit.com desktop interface .
This isn't only a problem on the user level: many subreddit moderators depend on tools only available outside the official app to keep their communities on-topic and spam-free.
WHAT'S THE SUB DOING?!?
We’re calling a timeout. Starting June 12, nfl is planning to go dark for 48 hours, joining a Reddit-wide protest against the recent API access fees that threaten to sideline our game. Like Tom Brady hoarding Super Bowl rings, Reddit’s new policy snatches the joy of the game from many fans’ hands. Like the infamous “Fail Mary”, Reddit’s new policy has many of us scratching our heads and shouting at our screens. Think of our blackout as a stern “coach’s challenge.” We’re throwing the red flag and demanding a review. This isn’t just about downs and distance; it’s about preserving our digital locker room.
What can YOU do?

1. Complain. Message the mods of /reddit.com, who are the admins of the site, message reddit, submit a support request, comment in relevant threads on /reddit, such as this one, leave a negative review on their official iOS or Android app- and sign your username in support to this post.
   
2. Spread the word. Meme it up, make it spicy. Complain about this instead of your teams poor off-season choices to your SO. Suggest anyone you know who moderates a subreddit join us at our sister sub at /ModCoord - but please don't pester mods you don't know by simply spamming their modmail.
   
3. Boycott and spread the word...to Reddit's competition! Stay off Reddit entirely on June 12th through the 13th- instead, take to your favorite non-Reddit platform of choice and make some noise in support!
   
4. Don't be a turd. Follow site/sub rules. That means no threats and keep it civil. Don't make it worse by getting banned for harassing mods or admins.
   

We’ll be back faster than a Brady “retirement” announcement. Hang tough, team.
- The Mod Team at NFL

CONTEXT: The Iron Hands can simulate any recorded memory of past Iron Hands. This is used for training, intelligence and so on.
Stronos is an Iron Hands Marine. He is often disliked and mistrusted by his comrades due to his reluctance to embrace the mantra of the flesh being weak. Although he has significant augmentations himself, something about the Iron Hands' cold adherence to algorithms in battle and decision making bothers him.
As Stronos continues to question the doctrines and practices of his chapter, he begins to unravel the secrets of the Iron Hands which make the Dark Angels' internal politics look like children's play.
PART 1: THE CONCLAVE: Iron Father Kristos is a controversial, but increasingly powerful figure in the Iron Hands. His rise to power came with his crushing of a WAAAGH, but the specifics of that campaign are simultaneously very controversial & secretive.
His actions were so controversial, a conclave was created by Kristos to represent him to the Iron Council. Despite the controversy he creates, Kristos is incredibly powerful both as an individual and a commander.

“Blessings and benedictions of Mars.’ Velt smiled graciously. ‘Your criticisms are noted and welcomed–’ the scratching of meme-quill on parchment recorded his contrition for the future historians ‘–and I will be improved for the recognition of my prior failings.’
‘See to it,’ Verrox grumbled.
‘I will, Iron Father. As you know, the Iron Council demands the uprising be crushed immediately and utterly. To the last soul. Word of the Iron Hands’ failure to prevent insurrection within their own system limits cannot be allowed to spread. It will draw unwelcome attention at a difficult time, when the conclave of Kristos continues to engender discord within.’
‘I do not care what others think.’
‘What you will not have heard in open council,’ Velt went on, ‘is that Warleader Kristos himself has demanded the Mechanicus resolve this insurrection.’
‘Former warleader,’ said Verrox. ‘The Iron Fathers have chosen not to elevate one of our number to lead. Not since the debacle on Columnus.’
‘Putative,’ Quorus reprimanded the Iron Father. ‘The morality of Iron Father Kristos’ methodology remains in dispute. That is the entire basis of the conclave. He would undoubtedly emphasise that the Weirdwaaagh was crushed with minimal losses.”

So we can glimpse from conversations about him that Kristos is both disliked and respected. Guymer does an excellent job of portraying Kristos as someone worthy of this reputation, but most noteworthy is the mention of the Weirdwaaagh that he crushed.
Why is it so controversial? Stronos does not actively seek out the truth but it is eventually given to him.
PART 2: DISCORD BETWEEN IRON FATHERS: In this section, Stronos is shaken after learning a member of the Raven Guard was able to sneak around him undetected. He goes to the tech priests for a check-up and an upgrade, but encounters Tubriik Ares, an Iron Father and a Dreadnought.

“Is Stronos injured?’
Stronos considered silence, but decided that he could keep nothing from the ancient. ‘I am defective. I seek to rectify that.’
‘How so?’
‘The Raven’s son proved himself my superior. I must improve and adapt.’
‘Improve and adapt.’ Ares’ vocabularisers rumbled with scorn. ‘We recall a time when Iron Hands were less like Kristos and more like Kardan Stronos. They were ruthless, yes, but adaptable, not slaves to calculus.”

The calculus is a complex, algorithmic system that dictates every part of a battle to the Iron Hands. Most Iron Hands will follow the calculus to the letter during a battle, a practice that Stronos himself dislikes but is pushed for very strongly by Kristos and his conclave.
Interestingly, Ares, a Dreadnought and an Iron Father, dislikes the modern Iron Hands' reverence of it.

“The Kristosian question makes all matters subject to doubt,’ Stronos said to Ares, voice low. ‘All will be as it once was once the arguments are resolved.’
Ares turned from the Apothecary to him. His emptiness seemed for a moment… sorrowful. ‘Kardan Stronos speaks of the arguments, but what does he know of the question, for there is only one?’
Stronos made to formulate an answer, only to realise he had none. Often he had railed against the waste of energy that the conclave brought on the Iron Council, but had never found the time to learn for himself what, in effect, it was all for. He shook his head honestly. He had been built to be a war machine. This round voyage to Medusa was the first time since his novitiation that he had not been either in the thick of a warzone or in transit from one to another.”

Ares' sorrow is a noteworthy reaction. A sign that not all Iron Hands condone the actions of Kristos.

“I know little of Kristos beyond his roll of honours,’ said Stronos, stung. ‘I know that he was once considered an exemplar of the Iron Creed.’
‘As it is now interpreted for you, perhaps.’
‘What do you mean by that?’ demanded Haas [the Apothecary working on Stronos].
Ares did not answer directly. ‘It began on Columnus,’ he said.
‘Everyone knows that,’ Haas said, dismissively, then picked up a spoon-headed implement from his medicae trolley and bent towards Stronos.
‘And what happened there to cause such crisis?’ Ares countered.
Stronos couldn’t answer. He looked to Haas. The Apothecary let out a frustrated sigh and said nothing, focusing instead on Stronos’ eye. He had no answer either.”

PART 3: THE CALCULUS: To show him the truth, Ares takes Stronos to the Simulus. With the Simulus, Stronos can experience the memories of anyone at the event - the Simulus uses complex algorithms and calculations to accurately simulate the POV of anyone at a recorded event, even if the perspective of that individual is not recorded in data.
The simulus jumps to the planet Columnus where the Raven Guard and the Iron Hands are fighting an Ork Waaagh together. Stronos sees the events from the perspective of Captain Stenn

“ Stronos canted, and though he was unconscious of his physical body he could somehow feel that he spoke with a strained jaw and through gritted teeth.
He had a bitter, illogical loathing for the descendants of Corax that he could not explain. Having just experienced a small part of Orvid Stenn’s existence, he felt that he should feel greater empathy for his brother Space Marine, but he did not. What he felt was greater ambivalence, as though along with his body he had been dissociated from everything of his own experience that could have made him care. He was not Orvid Stenn, and the dissonant notion arose that he might equally not be Kardan Stronos. He was nobody, and anybody had the potential to be him.
He was simulus – the collective.”

...

“The Raven Guard were spread along the length of the thigh-height rockcrete wall that demarcated the bombed-out lot of haulage depot 764 from the adjoining premises. It wasn’t much, but it was something. With the exception of some minor damage, it had weathered the destruction of the outer defences relatively intact, a credit to the Administratum clerk that had overseen its construction, and ran roughly parallel to where the curtain wall had been until ten minutes before.”

After being driven back by the Orks, the Imperial forces realize that the Waaagh is being led by a warpboss who is granting the orks unnatural bravery and fierceness. The Raven Guard hold the front line alongside mortal troops.

“He had heard in dispatches of the psychic energies that flowed through their Gargants – weapon grids, shields and piercing uncanny augurs – and that brought their lumpen drop ships to ground still. He had heard too of the court of warpheads with which the self-styled warpboss, Zagdakka, surrounded himself, and had lost two squads of his most experienced Scouts in a failed attempt at thinning their “numbers. He saw now with his own eyes the weird energy that flowed through these greenskins in their battle-madness like some manner of psychic connective tissue, the brawn and sinew of some gestalt ork that drove them unto death with a single, overriding will. The fire discipline of the Raven Guard and their mortal allies slaughtered greenskins every minute by the hundred, but they didn’t seem to care, hurling themselves recklessly against the Imperial guns as though possessed.
Not that the blasted Iron Hands would allow for the slightest deviation from their precious calculus. Stenn sneered, his pistol emitting a final hiss as coolant jets sprayed from the weapon’s muzzle and the vents locked. He thumbed off the safety and selected rapid fire.
He could teach the Iron Hands a thing or two about logic.
‘Kristos, you honourless shell, I’m talking to you.’ He raged into the vox as he seared the heaving mass of orks with plasma. Too soon, heat warnings blinked red on the pistol’s side and he was forced to flick back to vent. ‘I need reinforcements and I need them now. Now, Kristos! I want a creeping artillery barrage walking outwards from the outer “wall over the southern highway and I want aeronautica backup. Kristos!”

As the Raven Guard fight tooth and nail, Captain Stenn and the rest of the Raven Guard realize the Iron Hands are standing behind them but not engaging.

“A squad of Iron Hands Centurions, almost as well camouflaged as the Raven Guard themselves in their huge black warsuits and perfect stillness. Their hurricane bolters were unloaded and pointed at the ground or at walls, whichever direction they had happened to be facing when the strange malaise of inaction had taken them. Stenn regarded them with fury. The few Iron Hands he had seen had been that way, ever since the unexpected psychic onslaught had levelled the south wall outright. At first he had wondered if it was a secondary effect of Zagdakka’s powers, but the Raven Guard and their mortal allies were unaffected. Yavid had a replacement eye as well as a bionic arm and he remained functional, as did the crew interfaces of their vehicles. As did the damned skitarii.”

...

“The Centurions moved!
There they were, silent as the blown-out repair shops through which they came, ghosts of the machine bound forever to a doomed cycle of destruction and repair. The firepower of the Centurions alone would have ripped a hole into the ork horde as wide as the gates of the Ravenspire, but six full squads of Tactical Marines also moved up through the rubble behind them. They spread out, taking fire-positions just beyond the chokepoint where Stenn’s efforts held the orks at bay. What were they waiting for? He saw a pair of hellfire Dreadnoughts lumbering into position either side of the smaller Centurions, and then heard the weary collapse of a pockmarked stretch of rockcrete as the glacis plate of a Redeemer pattern Land Raider drove through it. Its sponson flamestorm cannons traversed to track the flows of the ork horde, liquid promethium dribbling to the rubble floor.
Stenn cursed as he punched his lightning claw through a charging ork’s ribs. Never expect an Iron Hand to commit until he was good and ready.”

...

“What are you waiting for?’ He shot an ork in the face as it made to barrel towards Yavid, and found himself in the sights of the nearest Iron Hands squad. They had bolters locked and aimed, but for some reason held their fire. Their eye slits shone an ephemeral white, but they could have been decoy suits for all the urgency they showed. ‘Shoot, curse you!’
A horrible sense of premonition grew under his skin like a worm. Stenn looked over his shoulder and >> RESTRICTED DATA >>”

The simulus is interrupted and Stronos learns from Ares that these events have been hidden from normal viewers. However, the data cannot be falsified even by Iron Fathers so Ares and Stronos continue watching.
We continue watching the Raven Guard struggle against the Warpwaaagh as the Raven Guard line begins to fall. Captain Stenn valiantly holds the line but warp powered orks are chipping away at the Raven Guard. He recognizes that the Iron Hands are holding back because of their calculus, but does not anticipate the final tactic the calculus commands.

“Stenn gave a grunt of pain as psychic fingers tightened around him and squeezed. ‘Damn you >> RESTRICTED DATA >> Just kill me yourself.’ His armour cracked like a sea-crustacean’s shell, blood spurting from ruptured seals as his body was crushed. He screamed, genhanced anatomy fighting a battle with pain that had been stacked well against it from the outset. ‘Emperor forgive you!’
With every scrap of conscious thought locked away in hardened centres of his brain structure he cursed the Iron Hands. He cursed the casual brutality, the bare calculation of risk versus reward. His last thoughts before those final redoubts succumbed to braindeath were not of the pain, nor of his brother Raven Guard that fell to the mind-blasts of the warpboss’ retinue, nor even of the Iron Hands themselves as they finally descended on the fray. With the enemy leaders bottled up with the last of the Raven Guard, the Iron Hands opened fire. Tactical Marines, Centurions, Land Raiders, each warrior a cog in a war machine that sprayed fire to a perfectly choreographed maelstrom that consumed Warpboss Zagdakka, his retinue, the Raven Guard, and Stenn himself.
But he was not thinking about that. He was thinking about Dawnbreak.
Because Iron Hands did not make mistakes.
>>> TERMINATING SIMULUS.”

TL;DR The Raven Guard and Iron Hands are defending against a Warpwaaagh. In the final, climactic battle, the Iron Hands under the command of Kristos and the calculus, determine that the most efficient way to win the battle was to use the RG and IG as human shields, and only fire once the Warpboss was in range. Kristos rises to infamy because of his methods, which resulted in minimal losses for the IH.
In part, this incident is linked to an innate hatred of the Raven Guard that many Iron Hands have. However, as implied when Stronos first enters the calculus, it's suggested that this hatred has been programmed into the Iron Hands' calculus.
The calculus itself isn't unlike incredibly important algorithms that exist in companies today. Any changes require a collective vote, and the entities that have worked on it include Iron Fathers and important tech priests. This is just the tip of the iceberg in terms of conspiracies. If you want to find out how the Iron Hands are actually way worse than the Dark Angels in terms of secret circles and internal politics, I highly recommend Guymer's books.
Stronos is one of the most complex Space Marine protagonists I've read. He believes in many of the Iron Hands' tenets, yet cannot help but question aspects that the rest of his peers readily accept. It's an interesting look at how the dogmatic attitudes of the Space Marines often prime them for corruption as much as it protects them.